How to be cheerful in company. The soul of a company is natural charm or self-improvement

It often happens that you come to a corporate party, and after literally thirty minutes, you are already starting to think about how to go home. But the stranger, whom you and everyone else is seeing just for the first time, feels great. Moreover, he has already met everyone, talked to them, and most of them are crazy about him. Everyone is drawn to him, a stranger, but no one notices you, an old acquaintance. And you have a question, how to become just like him, the soul of the company?

Ability to relax

The ability to relax is one of the most important skills. Some people are great at working, but you also need to learn how to relax. Unfortunately, few people appreciate this; moreover, it is believed that rest is a kind of laziness, and one must necessarily accustom oneself to work only. However, when people gather at a party, they want to relax, relax, so your conversations about work and problems can only cause boredom. Try to forget about your problems and worries for a while, let them go! The life of the party not only knows how to relax, but also tries to help others feel comfortable and cheerful in their presence.

Learn to have fun

Really, learn to have fun! No one will appreciate a friend who will hide in a corner, take a family album and look at photographs all evening. The person who is the soul of the company loves to be the center of attention. Therefore, if you are thinking about how to be the life of the party, then you will have to forget your desire to hide from everyone.

Find yourself

Find some talent in yourself that can bring admiration and joy to others. It could be playing the guitar, the ability to tell great jokes, dancing - share your talents with those around you, they will love it. When people see that someone is not afraid to express themselves openly, it gives them confidence too. Forget about all your problems, at all good parties there is one golden rule - not a word about work! You came here to relax, not to waste your personal time on production issues.

If your goal is to understand how to become the soul of any company, then you need to immediately understand that you will have to constantly improve. If your “old” behavior did not lead you to the status of a leader, then it is quite clear that it will have to be adjusted. For example, if you don’t know and can’t tell jokes, then subscribe to the newsletter and practice in front of a mirror. An important note - a joke should always be useful; if you tell a funny story, but it is not at the right time, then consider that you have only made the situation worse.

Learn not to be embarrassed

Challenge yourself to overcome shyness. This quality simply prevents you from being yourself, so try to get rid of it. People are all different, it’s your differences that make you special, and you shouldn’t be embarrassed by that. Get ready for a great evening and everything will work out.

Correct communication

Acquire proper communication skills. Many people are interested in how to become the life of any company, but in this matter they focus more on their needs, and when you go fishing, you take worms for the fish, and not your favorite strawberries! So here, understand what the people around you need, namely communication, fun, and try to give it to them.

Ability to give compliments

Praise other people, moreover, don’t be afraid to do it! However, the compliment must come from the heart, otherwise the person will feel that you are insincere, and this will only push him away from you. When deciding how to become the life of the party, take care of the very company of your friends - learn to see the merits of others, as well as present them profitably. The person you select will be grateful to you, moreover, he will consider you a leader.

Of course, every person, deep down in his soul, wants to become a leader, and often, because of such desires, he spoils his life with dissatisfaction with himself and his environment, thereby depriving himself of confidence. I can advise only one thing to anyone who wants it - stop looking for reasons in yourself, forget about them, better start acting, and then the set goal will definitely be achieved.

Probably every person has asked the question: “How to become the soul of the party?” How easy it is to find contact with people around you, maintain conversations, and how to always sympathize with people?! Well, let's get straight to the point. So, now you will receive a number of tips on improving relationships with people around you. All of them are quite simple and will not require enormous effort or requirements from you. Go…

1) Sincere smile

This is where communication begins in any company. By smiling sincerely, you will immediately endear yourself to the people around you. However, there is a fine line; you can either overdo it with a smile or not smile enough. There is one good trick in this regard - at the moment of smiling, imagine something good and pleasant for you; for example: remember your first love or some of your victories. If you do exactly this, then rest assured that a reciprocal smile will not keep you waiting long.

2) Compliments

What person doesn't like compliments? Even the toughest and most callous people melt when they hear a pleasant compliment addressed to them. But here again there are some subtleties. Often, selfish compliments turn into flattery and fawning, which will immediately lead to the failure of our task . Therefore, you should not immediately throw compliments left and right. To begin with, you should take a closer look at people and see their advantages and strengths; almost every person has them. And having already learned the person’s advantages, voice them as a compliment. This way, no one will accuse you of flattery and sycophancy, but on the contrary, they will begin to be drawn to you.

3) Listening skills

Yes, the ability to listen is also very important in order to become the life of the party. To be able to sincerely listen to a person and not interrupt is a real talent. Also, during a conversation, you need to ask clarifying questions about the topic of the conversation; this technique will show the interlocutor that you are interested and that you are listening to him, and not just nodding out of politeness. As the master of communication said: “You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than you could make in two years by trying to interest your special one.”

4) Relax

Just relax, in the full sense of the word. When going to parties, you should pursue the main goal - to relax. The work is over, all the work is done and it’s finally time for you to relax and unwind, while forgetting about all the problems.

5) Be yourself

No matter how trivial it may sound, this is very important in any communication. You shouldn’t calculate your every step and try to seem better; I can easily catch you in this, whether you want it or not. Remember a simple truth - there are no ideal people, everyone has their own disadvantages and shortcomings.

6) Develop

If you truly want to become the life of any company, you will have to work hard. Learn a couple of unusual and exciting toasts and constantly replenish your combat supply. Also constantly update the database of new funny jokes and stories. And of course you need to practice telling all this good stuff.

7) Have fun

If you notice that the company is too boring, try to cheer everyone up, don’t expect that they will do it for you. This way you will unite the company and find yourself in the center of attention.

8) Don't be shy

9) Have your own opinion

Under no circumstances should we adapt to others; such people always follow someone else, which immediately deprives us of the opportunity to become the life of the party. People who have their own position that they can argue for are always interesting. And of course you can’t impose your position on other people.

We can end on this good note. I sincerely hope that these tips will help you and you will finally be able to make your dreams come true.

In any friendly company there are people with whom you communicate very little, and in general, you have no idea what to talk about. You don’t know at all what they “breathe”, live and are passionate about. How to behave in such a situation? In order to find out, we decided to devote this publication to a topic called: “How to become the soul of any company? »

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Photo gallery: How to become the soul of any company

So, before you figure out how to become the soul of any company, you need to eliminate all extremes and boundaries in communication from your life. Stop being overly self-confident, boastful and disdainful of people in your company. In other words, push down and let go of your inner “I”. In order to become an important person among friends, it is not at all necessary to let everyone know that you are the most extraordinary person, a special interlocutor, and communication with you is “worth its weight in gold.” You need to completely change your communication style. If you, from the very first day of your appearance in the company, are trying to become everyone’s best friend, adviser or so-called “savior from any troubles”. Remember, such behavior of yours in any situation will cause distrust on the part of your friends and will even begin to simply irritate them. The best way out of this situation will be if you accept complete neutrality. This will become your main trump card on the path to gaining an honorary status, which will help you “become the soul” in this company. The main thing is to always be observant and, as often as possible, take a closer look at your friends, studying them. This will undoubtedly help you understand how they live, their hobbies and tastes. Thanks to which you can become much closer to them.

Of course, in order to become a significant person for your company, you need to be able to present yourself in a very high-quality and accessible way. But remember that there is no need to amaze everyone with your knowledge and stories “about your beloved self.” The best way to gain respect for yourself is to show who you really are, not in words, but in deeds. And most importantly, in order to become the life of the party, you always need to have a great sense of humor. Namely, to be able to make a joke at the right time and successfully. Remember that such people are always highly valued and, as a rule, the majority is drawn to them. They don't like boring people. They don’t perceive it at all as they would like.

The first rule on the way to achieving one of the first places among friends is your ability to never let you down and always be an honest person. Whatever happens, remember that you have certain responsibilities to your friends. And even in the event of force majeure, you need to behave with dignity and reason. For example, when going on vacation with a group of people, you all distributed your responsibilities among each other (who needs to take or do what). You got the most basic thing - to buy bread or something else, without which your outdoor recreation simply cannot be ideal. And on this day, for good reason, you cannot go with friends. In such a situation, you should not talk about it at the very last moment or, even worse, remain silent. Communicate as early as possible if you are unable to complete a task, thereby showing that you are a responsible, honest and caring person. By the way, as life experience shows, if you let your company down at least once or somehow offend your friends, there is a very high probability that all subsequent “negative nuances” will be attributed to you. There is no point in even thinking about becoming the life of the party.

Another important indicator that will help you gain respect is your refusal to publicly condemn your friends. It is not at all necessary to constantly point out to your friends their mistakes and shortcomings. In such a situation, firstly, it is very difficult to have a positive attitude towards a person who has already tortured everyone with his pickiness and efforts to constantly emphasize that everything is happening according to the wrong pattern. And secondly, and most importantly, your friends are unlikely, after all your comments, to overlook any of your mistakes in actions or words.

Know how to identify and recognize your own personal mistakes. Of course, in this case there is absolutely no need to blame only yourself for everything. And after every step you take unsuccessfully, ask your friends for forgiveness for your imperfection. Remember that a person who knows how to calmly and correctly admit his mistake and, at the same time, successfully and effectively analyze it, identifying the main reasons, always creates a positive impression of himself.

Also, in order to become the life of the party, you need not to be afraid and accept criticism addressed to you with dignity. First of all, learn to distinguish worthy remarks from malicious jokes. The advice of friends who wish you only the best should always be listened to carefully and taken into account. These comments and advice may be very useful to you in the future. But angry jokes from people who perceive you negatively should not deserve any attention on your part or cause feelings of anger.

Never try to be perfect. Remember that it is very difficult for others to be around a person who tries to be perfect and ideal everywhere and in everything. Remember that ideal people do not exist and therefore trying on this mask is not at all gentle.

Another important rule for becoming an important person for a company is your ability to think about others, and not solely about yourself. Remember that all the friends who are next to you need attention, understanding and support. Be able to notice the fact when someone expects you to lend a helping hand and help them with important advice. Learn to listen carefully and understand your friends. Be able to create such an atmosphere so that a person can tell you about what worries him. The ability to listen will definitely help you get closer to the company. And finally, remember that your smile and positive emotions will always attract friends to you, and thanks to this, you will always be the center of attention of your company.

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It is a big mistake to think that the soul of a company is a gift or a natural inclination. A person can do anything if he wants. Ugly girls become beauties without it by discovering an internal source of strength and changing their attitude towards themselves. People are manageable - this is the first thing to remember. The attitude of others is a reflection of the attitude towards oneself. For example, Nick Vujicic is such a person, if you approach him from an external, aesthetic point of view, he should repel, but he packs stadiums. And all because he understood something. Captured the needs of the audience. It would be possible to analyze this, but this is a separate topic. What is important now is that he fits the definition of “the soul of the company.” Moreover, he made it his craft.

The soul of a company is not a natural quality, but a matter of hard work and proper application of effort.

Sole of company? It's not easy to become one. Introversion and extroversion

K-G. Jung divided people into two:

Those who direct psychic energy outward. The center of their interests is the outside world. They do not like to accumulate and save; their main function is to spend. They are extroverts.
Those who tend to retain psychic energy within themselves. They live frugally, without wasting themselves. They need the outside world to the smallest extent. The source that feeds their vitality is hidden within themselves. They are introverts.

There is a misconception: God himself ordered extroverts to become the life of the party, but introverts cannot do this.

If a person is tormented by the question of the soul of the company, how to become like it, then the first step is to understand who he is: based on the following questions:

Does a person like company or not?
What's better to go to a party or stay at home?
Is being surrounded by a lot of people for a long time depressing or inspiring?

How to become the life of the party? Analysis of the film “You Can’t Buy Love”

If a person is an introvert, this does not mean that he cannot win people over. On the contrary, if we take a generalized image of an extrovert and an introvert, then the latter has advantages over the former:

A penchant for analysis and reflection.
Thoroughness and scrupulousness, caution.
Informed decision making.

Flaws:

How does this relate to the question of how to become the life of the party?

The hero of the film is a typical outsider.
He is a classic introvert.
And he managed to become the life of the party.

The film helps to understand how an introvert can become a leader, so it is important to pay attention to:

American society, like English or Russian society, is subject to certain ratings and conventions. The main character knew this, since he grew up in this society.
He had a passionate desire to step out of the role of an outsider and transform into the soul of the company, its leader, style icon, etc.
He realized that the shortest way was to help the most popular girl in school. True, he realized this as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Such a lightning-fast reaction indicates a strong desire to get out of the boring role of a “loser”

The points indicate the remarkable analytical abilities of introverts.

But this is not all on the topic of “how to become the life of a group of friends,” which can be gleaned from a light romantic youth comedy. More:

A person who dresses stylishly and fashionably inspires the trust of the public. Keeping track of the latest collection of anything is overkill, but in any case.
If a person knows how to use perfume, that’s a plus.
The soul of the company monitors what is happening in the life of each member of the company and will always find a compliment or words of support for friends.
Sincerity is the best policy. The soul of the company is truly interested in the vicissitudes of life of each member of the group.

Anyone who asks how to become the life of the party should also know the disadvantages of this position:

The soul of the company partially loses its own, individual soul, dissolving into collective interests.
A person is the soul of a company - this is not entertainment, but rather work, so you need to clearly understand why this is needed and prepare a lot of effort and time to fulfill your plan.
You can get carried away and lose touch with your previous, perhaps deeper, values.

If the disadvantages do not frighten you, and the desire to gain power over people is great, then go for it.

On the role of gender in the problem of reaching the top: is a guy the soul of the company or a young woman the soul of the company?

Gender plays an important role in whether a person becomes the life of the party or not. It is clear that in a purely male and female team, it is more likely that a man and a woman emerge as leaders, respectively. When the composition of the group is mixed, everyone has a chance, but different mechanisms operate:

The guy uses awareness of the group's needs (conscious or intuitive), accommodation, sincerity as tools. What is said above.
A beautiful girl uses her appearance to control the group using erotic currents: the guys are in love with her, and the girls admire her and envy her success. As a result, girls want to be like her.
If nature and chance are not, she can always develop “sweetness”, “goodness” in herself, skillfully combining in herself the qualities of a collective image of a guy and a girl. This means: somewhere to give advice, somewhere to lend a shoulder and pretend to be a “vest”. As I.S. said Turgenev: “Beauty is wonderful and wonderful, but beautiful girls will always come in second place after cute ones.”

If the goal of introducing yourself into a company is to get a guy, then don’t use the “vest” strategy with him. It's impossible to get out of the friend zone.

It is better to follow the ups and downs of the object and be at the right moment in the right place when the beloved is lying at the bottom. The method sometimes works and sometimes it doesn't, but it's worth a try.

When a person asks whether a young woman is the life of the party or a guy is the life of the party, who has a better chance? The answer has its own specifics, but basically the general strategy remains the same. The main postulate: think carefully about everything and develop tactics.

The soul of any company is training

The main problem of those who want to, but cannot, is this, we offer several exercises.

If a person finds himself in an unfamiliar place, then he should ask passers-by for directions - this obvious exercise will help overcome fears of sudden, unplanned communication. It is not necessary to land in the wilderness on purpose. Life will throw you a couple of such situations.
The “stream of consciousness” technique in the service of self-confidence. Start with any phrase. “Mom washed the frame” will do, then after this statement move on to another without stopping. The speech remains logical and consistent, and the subject is not that important. Move from one to another, then to the third. The exercise is done in front of a mirror (if no one sees the person, this is a plus), the face and voice during the story should radiate confidence and strength, conviction in what the person is talking about (even if he is talking outright nonsense). If you get a taste for it, the gift of a politician opens up – that’s a bonus.
Attention and memory training. Watch a TV show for half an hour (educational or analytical about something, not about neighborly gossip), concentrating on the subject, then retell it. Speak confidently and clearly. Task: retell the content concisely, or colorize it with details, but the voice and face inspire the trust of an imaginary listener.
"Stylistic inconsistency." Take a lot of cards and write words on them from scientific, everyday, street language (slang, jargon, but not obscenities), if you don’t have enough vocabulary, use a smart book called “Dictionary”. Write these words on cards. Stir and pull, then make 5 – 10 sentences with each. Repeat until you get tired of it. Dialogue will also work. There is a similar exercise that develops writing skills: you need to write at least 30 lines about an object - a glass or a chair.
Elements of acting. Talking out loud is not a sign of a mental disorder, but a normal occurrence. It produces the desired intonation. Say different lines when you sit in front of the TV and listen to anything, even the news. Replies express surprise, joy, bitterness, agreement, disagreement with the information broadcast on TV. The main thing is to learn naturalness. In this case, people will be drawn to the person if he learns to imitate sincerity.
Find a like-minded person, or “free associations” together. The principle is clear: there is a person who mates with the future “soul of the company”, and they practice wit, according to the method in paragraph 2. For the same purposes, you can call a random number and talk nonsense to a stranger, but there is a possibility that the experiment will end in an unintelligent way.
Increasing the level of education, learning something new. The person who is called the life of the party is not boring or “gray”, he is a fountain of ideas who bursts with love of life and cheerfulness, and he always has something in his pocket for the occasion. The soul of the company is an interesting, erudite person. People dislike despondency most of all, so the main function of someone who claims a high title is to entertain.

There are two conclusions:

Being the life of any company is hard work.
The soul of any company is constant self-improvement.

The soul of the company is an influential role, especially at work, for example, he can act as a mediator in the team. At school, this does not do much, except to amuse one’s pride and cultivate the spirit of a winner. Although the latter is not at all necessary, history knows of cases when school “souls” followed a crooked path, and their end was disastrous. The question of how to be the life of the party is not without meaning, but it was not possible to answer it briefly, because such a plan presupposes an almost military campaign in its scale.

January 20, 2014

Everyone in life has met people who, without exaggeration, can be called the soul of the party. They are cheerful, sociable, charming and interesting to everyone. Everyone dreams of being in their place. We can please you: nothing is impossible. Just try to follow our advice, and you will learn from your own experience how can you become the life of the party.

By being able to listen to your interlocutors and showing interest in them, you will very quickly earn a reputation as an interesting person.

How can you master the art of asking the right questions? The secret is simple - listen to who you are talking to. If you focus on what the interlocutor is telling you, there will be no awkward pauses in your conversation when they expect a question or comment from you, but you don’t know what to say.

No less important in order to become the soul of the company is skill. People love to talk to those who show friendliness in their appearance. A smile on your face will help your interlocutor relax, feel more comfortable, and your communication will be much easier.

When speaking, remember to look into the eyes of the person you are talking to. This will allow him to feel interest in his person. If you look around and your eyes constantly jump from one person to another, your interlocutor may decide that you are looking for someone else who is more pleasant to you as a conversation partner, and this will not help in any way. to become the life of the party. Instead, you risk finding yourself in the category of boors, whom everyone tries to avoid communicating with.

One of the key factors to your success is body language. Try to repeat the movements of your interlocutor when communicating, and you will notice that an emotional connection will arise between you, which will also increase your authority in his eyes. Never forget to use this technique. It is very effective and can help with communication not only in informal companies, but also in serious work relationships.

A very important skill for someone who wants to become the life of the party is the ability to end a conversation on time and switch to another interlocutor. There is no need to tire anyone with your company or feel inconvenienced by the fact that you cannot “get rid of” someone who is too annoying. To interrupt a conversation, it is enough to make it clear that you have some urgent matter - making a phone call, resolving an issue with someone who may soon leave, going to the toilet, in the end. This technique should not be abused. Try to manipulate the flow of the conversation. Let your friend tell you his information, comment on it, ask a question and draw a logical conclusion, making it clear that the topic has exhausted itself. You can then communicate that you need to talk to someone, while promising that if the opportunity arises, you are willing to continue the conversation later. This approach will allow you to avoid the reputation of being ignorant or rude and, on the contrary, to seem like a pleasant person to talk to.

To summarize, we can say that the answer to the question " how to become the life of the party" is quite simple. To do this, you just need to be able to listen to your interlocutors. This approach is equally effective for both friendly parties and corporate events. By showing interest in people, you will begin to enjoy a reputation as a good person, and everyone present will want to talk to you, and this means that you have truly become the life of the party and achieved your goal.

Thank you for attention!



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