Just think about it... How often we complain about our lives. Friends betray, loved ones deceive, chaos and injustice reign around. At the same time, we don’t even think that all the problems are in our head. To turn your life in a different direction, you need to start with yourself. This article will help you figure out how to change yourself for the better, how to love yourself and how to create a self-development plan.
Man is a multifaceted, emotional being. Each of us has formed a concept of good and evil, views on life, and attitude towards others. However, sooner or later we think about the need to change our character in order to become better. This is quite a difficult task, but if you are serious about it, the result will not take long to arrive.
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Why is it so difficult to change?
The main reason lies in the reluctance to admit the problem. It is much easier for us to shift the blame to others, coincidence or fate. At the same time, every person is convinced that he should be perceived as he is. This is actually the wrong position. To achieve a positive result, you need to work hard on yourself.
There are a number of reasons why a person does not dare to change and prefers to remain in the warm embrace of his own delusions:
● Environment. This factor plays a huge role in the development of character. The support of friends and family will help you achieve your goal. And vice versa, if a person is constantly told that he is a loser, that he can’t do anything and that he won’t achieve anything, he will believe it, but in the end he will give up. Surround yourself with kind, understanding people;
● Weak character. You see a problem, you understand that it needs to be solved, but you don’t have enough strength to start;
● Difficulties. We often say that life is not fair. For some it gives many challenges, for others less. Coping with any life difficulties while staying afloat is a real skill.
But how to change yourself for the better? Our conservative self often prevents us from breaking the foundations of our own lives. It seems that it will do just fine, nothing needs to be changed, it’s still stable. Therefore, first of all, you need to prepare yourself for difficulties, be patient and take your will into your fist.
How to find strength in yourself and become better?
We are accustomed to endure until the last minute and remain silent, leaving with our eyes downcast. We do not dare to take risks, to take a confident step towards a better life. It seems impossible to us to forget the past, let go of old grievances, and overcome our own fears. Our fears and anxieties prevent us from breathing deeply and feeling self-love.
Surely you are tormented by the question of how to change yourself for the better. First, look around and try to determine what is pulling you to the bottom. If you are surrounded by many ill-wishers, change your social circle.
Learn to appreciate what you have. You may not have purchased a luxurious house, but you have a cozy apartment. Do you lack funds for a beautiful life? But they love you, they wait for you, they take care of you, and this is worth a lot. Learn to say “thank you” for what fate has given you.
Everyone is familiar with the word “trifle.” We often say that you shouldn’t pay attention to the little things, but they are what our whole life consists of! Try to notice small pleasures every day. Very soon you will notice that life is much brighter and more beautiful. You will forget about depression and laziness.
Psychologists say that positive instructions can make thinking bright and actions decisive.
Just think, there are 365 days in a year. You can plan every day, week, month, set small goals, and gradually work towards them. Do you want to live better, but don’t know how to change yourself for the better? Take responsibility for your life.
Individual self-development plan in 5 steps
Not everyone knows how to compose and why it is needed. With the help of such a plan, you will be able to clearly set priorities, define goals and choose a path to achieve them. There's no need to rush. To figure out what items you want to include, stand alone and think about what you really want.
Step 1: Needs
At this stage, your task is to understand what you want to change. Your further actions will depend on this. You need to understand what goals you will achieve. You should not set global goals; there is a risk that you will fall apart and return to your comfort zone again. It is better to engage in self-development gradually, moving from one task to another. If you like to sleep long hours, you can start by learning to get up early;
Step 2: Understanding
Before you start changing your character and habits, you should understand whether you need it and why. At this stage, it does not matter what you want to achieve, what is much more important is the presence of an irresistible desire, as well as willpower. If you realize that you are ready to leave your comfort zone forever and change, you can safely move on to the next stage;
Step 3: Know yourself
Once you have identified your goals, move on to self-analysis. At this stage, you need to understand what will help you in their implementation, and what is the opposite, what negative and positive traits of your character you can highlight. Don't deceive yourself. Be as critical as possible. You can take a sheet of paper and write down all the qualities that you can highlight. To compare whether your opinion coincides with the opinion of your loved ones, you can give them a piece of paper with the result;
Step 4: Develop a Strategy
You have successfully completed three stages and are ready to change your character, as well as your quality of life. Now start drawing up an action plan. At this stage, you should not contact friends or family. You should evaluate your own strengths, this will help you understand what you are ready to do. If you are planning to say goodbye to smoking forever, consider whether you can do it suddenly or better gradually. To be safe, write down the action plan on paper and hang it in the most visible place;
Step 5: Actions
This is the final stage of the self-development plan. Now the most important thing is to start working on yourself right now, without putting it off until tomorrow. If you don't take action, all the preparatory stages will be meaningless. Forget about excuses! Take the first step boldly without worry or worry. Along the way, you can record your results, small victories over yourself. Gradually, you will be able to adjust the plan and find a way to change yourself for the better.
Having the knowledge of how to create a self-development plan, you will achieve your goal faster and also be able to change your life.
In this matter, a lot depends on self-esteem. If a person is confident in his strengths and capabilities, he will quickly achieve his goal.
The connection between self-esteem and quality of life
It is important to understand that self-esteem is one of the main components of every person’s personality. People with high self-esteem achieve success faster, are not afraid of obstacles and cope with any difficulties.
People who are insecure prefer to act as spectators. They do not show initiative, do not express their opinions. As a result, they experience dissatisfaction with life and become depressed. Low self-esteem develops in early childhood. A child who is deprived of the support and love of his parents will not be able to objectively assess his capabilities.
A person’s self-esteem depends on 2 main factors:
● internal (attitude towards oneself, susceptibility to criticism, characteristics of character or appearance);
● external (attitude of others).
It's no secret that all problems stemming from childhood and the peculiarities of family upbringing can leave an indelible mark on a person's character. If a child does not feel comfortable at home, he withdraws from the company of his peers, which may make them want to mock him. Gradually, problems accumulate, and low self-esteem is formed.
Appearance also plays a big role. If a person does not love his body or appearance, he will not be able to feel confident. However, this is not a reason to withdraw into yourself. To radically change the situation and understand how to change yourself for the better, you need to do a tremendous amount of work.
Fortunately, even in adulthood a person can get rid of this problem and feel self-love. Self-esteem has a lot to do with immunity. The higher it is, the easier it is for a person to overcome life’s difficulties, accept criticism and achieve what he wants.
An insecure person is afraid to take rash steps and succumbs to public influence. To increase self-esteem, a person needs to love himself and believe in his strength.
How to increase a woman's self-esteem
A woman needs to love and value herself. Low self-esteem makes her shy and withdrawn. It is difficult to find a common language and build a good relationship with such a woman. In addition, few people think about how she feels. It is unlikely that a huge number of complexes brings her pleasure.
There are many ways to help representatives of the fair half of humanity believe in themselves:
✓ forget about laziness forever. To achieve something, you need to work at it;
✓ try to minimize worries and worries. Enjoy every day. Learn to see beauty in small things;
✓ become less critical of yourself. If you're thinking about improving your self-esteem, try not to criticize yourself too much. Take failures and minor troubles with humor and lightness;
✓ learn to be yourself. This is a very important quality for every woman, regardless of age. There is no need to pretend to be something you are not;
✓ personal space. Think of a place where you can be completely alone, draw, read a book, or just think about good things. This will help you maintain emotional balance.
Features of male self-esteem
By nature, a man has no right to be weak and weak-willed. Otherwise, he will not be able to take a meaningful place in society and life. Men often ask themselves the question of how to change themselves for the better and achieve success.
To stay afloat, representatives of the stronger sex need to keep their body and mind in good shape. It's no secret that erudite sports men have no reason to engage in self-flagellation. They are successful and know what they want. Playing sports helps a man throw out negative emotions and gives him a feeling of calm.
Don't forget about self-respect and value your time. If you notice people in your circle of friends who prefer to assert themselves at your expense, refuse to communicate with them. You won't lose anything.
Are you not appreciated at work? Change your job. This may seem like a careless decision to a modern man, but the results will not be long in coming. When you find a job where your efforts are appreciated, your life will sparkle with new colors.
Don't forget that everyone is completely different, so don't constantly compare yourself to others. You need to focus only on your capabilities and desires. Strive for your goals, relying on your experience and strength.
Many men attach too much importance to the opinions of others. This position makes them withdrawn. To increase your self-esteem, learn to express your opinion and not be afraid that at this moment you will look funny or someone will not understand you.
To understand how to change yourself for the better, you need to understand what hinders your development, what character traits make you closed, and start working on your mistakes. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, admit your mistakes.
The main thing is not to give up!
Much depends on a person's appearance. However, this is not a reason to reproach yourself. Everyone can make an effort and become better. For example, change your hairstyle or hair color, join a gym and get your body in order. It is impossible to change yourself by sitting at home and feeling sorry for yourself. You should always strive for better, to become better.
Since working on ourselves is not easy work, a lot depends on our habits.
21 days to change: people and habits
A habit is an action that a person performs automatically. His physical, psychological and emotional state depends on this.
It is habits that are the basis of our character. There are two main types of habits: good and bad. It is worth noting that bad habits are developed much faster and do not require any effort. But to develop a useful habit, a person needs to overcome a number of physical as well as psychological barriers.
How to change yourself for the better with the help of healthy habits? Today many people talk about the 21 day rule. According to it, a person can develop healthy habits within 21 days. The question arises, is this or that?
It is worth saying right away that this figure was not taken out of thin air. Scientists had to conduct many experiments to come to the conclusion that just such a period is needed to form habits.
First of all, you need to learn how to bring things to an end. If you decide to change in 21 days, don't back down. Take a piece of paper, write down 10-15 habits that will help you become better. Choose the most interesting one and start implementing it. The main condition is that you must perform this action every day.
Forming a habit will require a lot of effort and patience. Therefore, think carefully about whether you need this or that habit. For example, you decided to read history books in the evenings, but after a while you noticed that this process does not bring you any pleasure. In this case, it is better to abandon this idea.
How to change yourself for the better: conclusions
How to change yourself for the better? Start appreciating people! Learn to respect others, their needs and preferences. There is no shame in being kind. By treating other people with understanding, you can look at your life from an unexpected perspective.
It is important to understand that working on yourself is an incredibly difficult task that requires a lot of effort and time. But if the decision to change is final, do not deviate from the path. Remember, people attract what they think about. Be patient, take small steps closer to your dream, becoming better every day.
Do what you love, don't be afraid to experiment, enjoy life. After all, every day is special and unique.
How to change yourself? If you are asking this question, it means that you are already a very mature person. People are more likely to ask questions about how to change other people or circumstances.
Only an adult and reasonable person understands that any changes in life begin with changes in oneself.
It is truly a great success to understand that managing the circumstances of your life begins with changing yourself.
How to start changing correctly
Setting goals
Changing yourself is a worthy decision. But where to start? Before you change yourself, you need to understand exactly what goals you are striving for. What do you want to see as a result of your changes? After all, you can spend a lot of effort and then be dissatisfied with the result.
The goals that may require changes are very different, for example:
- Make a dizzying career.
- Create a family.
- Find health and beauty.
- Gain a high position in society.
- Create sources of passive income.
But we must take into account that in order to achieve a particular goal, certain qualities will be required:
- For example, the qualities a woman needs to start a family: kindness, tenderness, desire to take care of children, meekness, obedience, fidelity, devotion. And if a girl sets herself the goal of creating a family, then it will be beneficial for her to change and develop precisely these qualities.
- If the goal is to build a career, other qualities will be needed, such as determination, assertiveness, determination, and strength.
- Of course, you can develop all the qualities in yourself a little at a time for an undefined purpose. But with this approach, attempts to change are likely to quickly reach a dead end. Since actions in the absence of a goal do not bring much satisfaction, it is therefore impossible to move on.
Therefore, it is very important to set a goal before you start changing. Just “I want to change” is not enough to transform yourself. Change begins with choosing a goal. This is the answer to the question: “Where to start transforming yourself?”
Search for role models
The next step in changing yourself will be to find people who have already achieved similar goals.
Knowing the end point you want to get to, you can try to find your own path. But we must understand that such a search takes a long time and very often leads to nothing. Sometimes it feels like trying to invent your own script and language.
It is much easier to study examples of the development of those people who were in a similar situation and were able to change it. It is very important that they are able to overcome it successfully. It is advisable to take more than one or two examples.
- BIOGRAPHIES OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE
What can you take as an example? A great option is biographies. , in one area or another, sometimes they write books about how they overcame difficulties and how they changed.
Reading biographical books helps to identify personality traits that contributed to the achievement of intended goals through changes. Choose books whose authors could confidently say: “I changed myself completely and got decent results.”
- PEOPLE AROUND YOU
Sometimes examples can be seen in life. For example, a friend whose personal life did not work out for a long time, but then she changed herself and found family happiness.
Or a colleague who at first held a minor position, but then... Watch people who are able to achieve what they want. Note their qualities, do not hesitate to ask for advice.
- LECTURES, TRAININGS
Listening to lectures and attending trainings is also a good option to meet the right people. Sometimes the leader of such trainings himself is a successful person who is ready to share his experience on how to change. And I've gone through big changes in the past.
- PSYCHOLOGICAL LITERATURE
Reading helps you change yourself. However, not all books will be useful.
Therefore, study the reviews and try to learn as much as possible about the author’s life. Not all authors of psychological literature are worthy of being an example of how to change.
- RELIGION
If faith is not unacceptable to you, then you can read or listen to lectures by clergy. Among them there are often people who have the knowledge of how to completely change and are good role models.
Studying other people's experiences
The next step in self-improvement will be to study the experiences of people who were able to change the course of their lives. By studying their experience, you can systematize it and understand how to change in order to become like them and achieve your goals.
Read books, attend trainings, study biographies, collect as much information as possible from other people’s experiences on how to change yourself.
Don't throw yourself into the pool headlong. At first, some things may not be understood. That is, there will be no understanding of why this or that thing needs to be done, how to apply it and why it is needed. Don’t write it off, gradually introduce into your life what is close and understandable.
- For example, if you decide to become a leading person, then starting it right away on Monday, by Tuesday of the next week there is a high chance of quitting it.
- Why? Because when the thought “I want to change” comes, a person rushes to change everything at once. That is, a newly minted follower of a healthy lifestyle begins to get up at 6 in the morning, do exercises, eat vegetables and fruits instead of the usual dumplings, quit smoking and skip drinking alcohol at his next birthday.
- As a result, after a few days or weeks, this lifestyle becomes unbearable. The person returns to his old habits. Question: “How to change?” Now he is much less concerned, and a feeling of aversion to change arises.
- When studying the experience of others, join in with it gradually, with understanding. If you're going to get up early, get up 30 minutes earlier tomorrow. After three or four days for another 10 minutes. Gradually increase the rise time to the desired one. This should become a habit, not self-abuse. And before doing anything, it is very important to understand why you need it.
Where to look for support and how to stay motivated
When deciding how to change yourself, it is very important to remember that motivation and a strong desire to change are integral companions of progress.
Naturally, the desire to change will wax and wane over time. Sooner or later, the first fuse will pass, and motivation will begin to decrease. There will definitely be situations along the path of change when it seems like there is no progress.
There will be situations when it seems that changes are going completely in the wrong direction, that they are not bringing you any closer to your goals. Sometimes there may be a strong desire to give up everything and return to what was before.
But remember that to say the phrase: “I changed myself completely, I achieved success!” Only those who finally reached the end can do it, those who coped with all the difficulties, survived difficult moments and those who did not give up.
To cope with difficult situations that arise along the path of change, create conditions for yourself that will help you not give up what you started. What are these conditions?
The right attitude towards failure
There will undoubtedly be successes and failures in the process of change. It is important to have the right attitude towards failure. There is no need to reproach yourself for every mistake.
Failure is also good. Because it gives food for thought and analysis. It helps you understand your mistakes and not make them in the future.
If you're not making mistakes, then you're probably not learning. Every miss carries an equal or even greater opportunity. Learn to see failures as opportunities and lessons.
An environment conducive to change
Without a good environment that shares your goals, change will be impossible. There are no people who never experience doubts. There are very few people who can resist the pressure of others for a long time. In order to survive periods of doubt and rejection by society, it is necessary to have the support of like-minded people.
It is not necessary that there be many such people, but there should be at least one. Because it is the support of someone who shares your aspirations and beliefs that can change everything.
Tracking progress of changes
- Motivation is lost due to the inability to feel progress. The solution in this case would be a diary or any other way of recording the current state.
- Return to old posts about yourself from time to time to see that changes are still happening.
Possible obstacles
Often a person who declares: “I want to change” and begins to move in this direction is perceived with hostility by others.
Don’t worry about the question: “How can I change if those around me don’t support me?” faces everyone who decides to go their own way, change and develop.
An environment that prevents change
For example, someone in the company stopped drinking and no longer drinks alcohol. Usually such statements cause a strong reaction. Because you can’t just stop drinking. This requires a very compelling reason, such as illness or pregnancy. There is no other way.
People around you, as a rule, are afraid of change; they do not share your desire to change. Perhaps, if you stay on track and achieve good results, over time these same people will wonder how to change themselves.
But for now, they will most likely react negatively or warily.
Personality traits that prevent you from changing
In addition to people, character traits such as laziness, fear, and indecisiveness hinder change. Old favorite habits also slow down progress:
- For example, a person takes care of his health, masters healthy eating, and physical exercise. But here laziness and old habits begin to attack. Have a delicious meal in the evening, skip the workout.
- Drive such desires away. Create an environment in which it is difficult for bad habits and character traits to manifest themselves. Then, over time, you will happily say: “I have completely changed myself.”
There are several options, with some you can change your appearance. One of them is associated with internal changes, no matter artificial or natural, and a change in the lifestyle itself. Otherwise, you can change your appearance. In this case, sudden external changes provoke internal ones. Very often such a move is described in fairy tales and the changes that occur to a person can greatly affect his life.
The change itself includes special transformative procedures and a person’s reaction to the changes that have occurred. Nowadays there are a lot of programs on television about such changes, where girls are offered a miraculous way to transform themselves and become more beautiful. And the beauty, seeing her new image in the mirror, changed almost beyond recognition, begins to change internally. Her previously present complexes disappear, she begins to feel beautiful and significant. Thus, you can change your attitude towards life and the attitude of others towards you, just by changing your appearance.
People say that if your personal life is not going well, you are tormented by a series of problems, immediately go to the hairdresser and get a new hairstyle. Hair carries certain information. By cutting your hair, you can get rid of negativity. And the updated appearance of your hair makes you more attractive, gives you confidence and a good mood, at least for a while. So it turns out that by changing our hairstyle, we attract something good into our lives. Just don’t abuse this advice!
Everyone knows that in modern society it is customary to meet people about clothes, that is, according to appearance. Many people use this trick to achieve their own goals. For example, spies like to use this. Actors, changing into costumes, begin to fully get used to the role; they feel, think and act like their characters. Many psychotherapists use this method to treat certain mental disorders and disorders. People are asked to take turns changing into different costumes and look at themselves in the mirror. At the same time, each participant must tell how he feels, what associations he has with this image, and try to behave like his character. People very quickly begin to get used to new roles, which further proves the importance of the external image for a person.
If you want change, change your style. for example, if you constantly wear classics, because... If you spend almost all your time at work, change it to a feminine and romantic style, especially in spring and summer this is important. If you currently have a romantic style, but want something different, try a casual style or some other style. The main thing is to go beyond your limits. Try something new, it will definitely give you new emotions, you will look at yourself with different eyes.
Appearance, or rather changing it, is undoubtedly a useful activity. Especially if a person wants to start a new life, get rid of problems, fears, prejudices and low self-esteem. Rapid changes in appearance can change a person's life, and if these changes are carried out correctly, then life will definitely change for the better.
Here's what it's like: I've been down a few times, I've come back to life a few times, I've done it again and again. I started new careers. People who knew me then don't know me now. And so on.
I started my career from scratch several times. Sometimes - because my interests changed. Sometimes - because all the bridges were burned completely, and sometimes because I desperately needed money. And sometimes because I hated everyone at my old job or they hated me.
There are other ways to reinvent yourself, so take what I say with a grain of salt. This is what worked in my case. I've seen this work for about a hundred other people. According to interviews, according to letters that have been written to me over the past 20 years. You can try it - or not.
1. Change never ends
Every day you reinvent yourself. You are always on the move. But every day you decide where exactly you are moving: forward or backward.
2. Start with a clean slate
All your past shortcuts are just vanity. Were you a doctor? An Ivy League graduate? Owned millions? Did you have a family? Nobody cares. You have lost everything. You are zero. Don't try to say that you are something more.
3. You need a mentor
Otherwise you will go down. Someone needs to show you how to move and breathe. But don't worry about finding a mentor (see below).
4. Three types of mentors
Direct. Someone ahead of you who will show you how they got there. What does "this" mean? Wait. By the way, the mentors are not like Jackie Chan’s character in the movie “The Karate Kid.” Most mentors will hate you.
Indirect. Books. Movies. You can get 90% of your instruction from books and other materials. 200–500 books equals a good mentor. When people ask me, “What is a good book to read?” - I don’t know what to answer them. There are 200-500 good books worth reading. I would turn to inspirational books. Whatever you believe, strengthen your beliefs with daily reading.
Anything can be a mentor. If you are a nobody and want to reinvent yourself, everything you look at can become a metaphor for your desires and goals. The tree you see, with its roots out of sight and the groundwater that feeds it, is a metaphor for programming if you connect the dots together. And everything you look at will “connect the dots.”
5. Don't worry if nothing excites you.
You care about your health. Start with him. Take small steps. You don't need passion to succeed. Do your work with love and success will become a natural symptom.
6. Time it takes to reinvent yourself: five years
Here is a description of these five years.
First year: you're floundering and reading everything and just starting to do something.
Second year: You know who you need to talk to and maintain working connections with. You do something every day. You finally understand what your own Monopoly game map looks like.
Third year: you are good enough to start making money. But for now, perhaps not enough to earn a living.
Fourth year: you provide for yourself well.
Fifth year: you make a fortune.
I got frustrated sometimes in the first four years. I asked myself: “Why hasn’t this happened yet?” - He hit the wall with his fist and broke his hand. It's okay, just keep going. Or stop and choose a new field of activity. It doesn't matter. Someday you will die, and then it will be really difficult to change.
7. If you do it too fast or too slow, something is going wrong.
A good example is Google.
8. It's not about the money
But money is a good measure. When people say, “It's not about the money,” they need to be sure they have some other unit of measurement. “How about you just do what you love?” There will be many days ahead when you won't like what you do. If you do it out of pure love, it will take much longer than five years. Happiness is just a positive reaction from your brain. Some days you will be unhappy. Your brain is just a tool, it does not define who you are.
9. When is it okay to say, “I’m doing X”? When does X become your new profession?
10. When can I start doing X?
Today. If you want to paint, buy canvas and paints today, start buying 500 books one at a time and paint pictures. If you want to write, do these three things:
Read
If you want to start your own business, start coming up with a business idea. Re-creating yourself begins today. Every day.
11. When will I earn money?
In a year, you will have invested 5,000–7,000 hours into this business. This is good enough to put you in the top 200-300 in the world in any specialty. Getting into the top 200 almost always provides a livelihood. By the third year you will understand how to make money. By the fourth, you will be able to increase your turnover and provide for yourself. Some people stop there.
12. By the fifth year you will be in the top 30-50, so you can make a fortune.
13. How can I tell if it’s mine?
Any field in which you can read 500 books. Go to the bookstore and find it. If you get bored after three months, go to the bookstore again. It’s normal to get rid of illusions, that’s the meaning of defeat. Success is better than failure, but failures teach us the most important lessons. Very important: don’t rush. During your interesting life, you will be able to change yourself many times. And you will fail many times. It's fun too. These attempts will turn your life into a story book, not a textbook. Some people want their life to be a textbook. Mine is a book of stories, for better or worse. Therefore, changes occur every day.
14. The decisions you make today will be in your biography tomorrow.
Make interesting decisions and you will have an interesting biography.
15. The decisions you make today will become part of your biology.
16. What if I like something exotic? Biblical archeology or wars of the 11th century?
Repeat the above steps and by the fifth year you can become rich. We don't know how. There is no need to look for the end of the road when you are only taking the first steps.
17. What if my family wants me to become an accountant?
How many years of your life have you promised to give to your family? Ten? All your life? Then wait for the next life. It's up to you to choose.
Choose freedom over family. Freedom, not prejudice. Freedom, not government. Freedom, not satisfying other people's needs. Then you will satisfy yours.
18. My mentor wants me to follow his path.
This is fine. Master his path. Then do it your way. Sincerely.
Luckily, no one is holding a gun to your head. Then you would have to comply with his demands until he puts the gun down.
19. My husband (wife) is worried: who will take care of our children?
A person who changes himself always finds free time. Part of changing yourself is finding moments and reframing them in the way you would like to use them.
20. What if my friends think I'm crazy?
What kind of friends are these?
21. What if I want to be an astronaut?
This is not changing yourself. This is a specific profession. If you like space, there are many careers. Richard Branson wanted to be an astronaut and created Virgin Galactic.
22. What if I like to drink and hang out with friends?
Read this post again in a year.
23. What if I'm busy? Am I cheating on my spouse or betraying my partner?
Read this post again in two or three years, when you are broke, without a job and everyone has turned their backs on you.
24. What if I don’t know how to do anything at all?
Read point 2 again.
25. What if I don’t have a diploma or it’s of no use?
Read point 2 again.
26. What if I need to focus on paying off my mortgage or other loan?
Read point 19 again.
27. Why do I always feel like an outsider?
Albert Einstein was an outsider. No one in authority would hire him to work. Everyone sometimes feels like an impostor. The greatest creativity comes from skepticism.
28. I can't read 500 books. Name one book you should read for inspiration
Then you can give up right away.
29. What if I’m too sick to change myself?
The change will spur the production of beneficial substances in your body: serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin. Move forward and you may not get completely better, but you will become healthier. Don't use health as an excuse.
Finally, rebuild your health first. Get more sleep. Eat better. Play sports. These are the key steps to change.
30. What if my partner set me up and I’m still getting married to him?
Drop the lawsuit and never think about him again. Half the problem was you.
31. What if I am sent to prison?
Wonderful. Reread point 2. Read more books in prison.
32. What if I am a timid person?
Make your weakness your strength. Introverts are better at listening and concentrating, and they know how to evoke sympathy.
33. What if I can’t wait five years?
If you plan to be alive in five years, you can start today.
34. How to make contacts?
Build concentric circles. You should be in the middle. The next circle is friends and family. Then - online communities. Then - people you know from informal meetings and tea parties. Then there are conference participants and opinion leaders in their field. Then - mentors. Then there are the clients and those who make money. Start making your way through these circles.
35. What if my ego starts getting in the way of what I'm doing?
In six months or a year you will return to point 2.
36. What if I'm passionate about two things at once? And I can't choose?
Combine them and you will be the best in the world at this combination.
37. What if I am so passionate that I want to teach others what I am learning myself?
Read lectures on YouTube. Start with an audience of one and see if it grows.
38. What if I want to earn money in my sleep?
In the fourth year, start outsourcing what you do.
39. How to find mentors and experts?
Once you have enough knowledge (after 100-200 books), write 10 ideas for 20 different potential mentors.
None of them will answer you. Write 10 more ideas for 20 new mentors. Repeat this every week.
40. What if I can’t come up with ideas?
Then practice it. The thinking muscles tend to atrophy. They need to be trained.
I will have a hard time reaching my toes if I don't practice every day. I need to do this exercise every day for some time before this pose becomes easy for me. Don't expect to have good ideas from day one.
42. What if I do everything you say, but nothing seems to work?
It will work out. Just wait. Keep changing yourself every day.
Don't try to find the end of the path. You won't be able to see it in the fog. But you can see the next step, and you will realize that if you take it, you will eventually reach the end of the road.
43. What if I start to feel depressed?
Sit in silence for an hour a day. You need to get back to your core.
If you think it sounds stupid, don't do it. Move on with your depression.
44. What if there is no time to sit in silence?
Then sit in silence for two hours a day. This is not meditation. You just have to sit.
45. What if I get scared?
Sleep 8-9 hours a night and never engage in gossip. Sleep is the first secret to good health. Not the only one, but the first. Some people write to me that four hours of sleep is enough for them or that in their country those who sleep a lot are considered lazy. These people will fail and die young.
When it comes to gossip, our brains are biologically programmed to have 150 friends. And when you talk to one of your friends, you might gossip about one of the other 150. And if you don't have 150 friends, your brain will want to read gossip magazines until it thinks it has 150 friends.
Don't be as stupid as your brain.
46. What if it seems to me that I will never succeed?
Practice gratitude for 10 minutes a day. Don't suppress your fear. Notice your anger.
But also allow yourself to be grateful for what you have. Anger never inspires, but gratitude never inspires. Gratitude is the bridge between your world and the parallel universe where all creative ideas live.
47. What if I constantly have to deal with some personal squabbles?
Find other people to be around.
A person who changes himself will constantly encounter people who try to suppress him. The brain is afraid of change - it may be unsafe. Biologically, the brain wants safety for you, and change is risk. So your brain will give you people trying to stop you.
Learn to say no.
48. What if I am happy in my office job?
49. Why should I trust you? You've failed so many times
Don't trust me.
50. Will you become my mentor?
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Beauty is for a girl what masculinity is for a guy. To improve the quality of life and relationships with others, many girls resort to external transformation. How to change your appearance and attract pleasant surprises into your life? Is it enough to change one part or do you need to take into account a number of features? Is it true that walking completely changes a person? What makeup looks best? If you're in the mood to quickly say goodbye to the title of "simple" and be a "queen of style", then let's get straight to the point! After reading the article, you will know what you need to work on.
How to change externally
Before starting an excursion into the world of a woman’s appearance, it is important to touch upon her inner state. It is from him that the desire to take and begin radical changes comes. Inspired to change your long luscious hair to a short cut? Change your color from platinum blonde to a burning brunette? We need to find an unmistakable path that will be the most faithful and lasting. How to change your appearance when a girl is not psychologically ready? To understand your inner world, it is important to always follow these rules:
- Always think positively. Watching funny, kind films, listening to inspiring music will help you not to focus on the negative.
- Smile- the best medicine for depressed mood, which causes unsuccessful experiments.
- Develop yourself comprehensively through spiritual practices, physical exercise, meeting interesting people. All this will inspire you to move towards change, and not “gather dust” in one image.
Change your gait
How to be comprehensive when a lady’s mere walking gives off a feeling of tightness? Habitual walking style reflects human psychology. His status in society and, first of all, self-esteem depend on this. “How open we are inside, how much we don’t have complexes, depends on our confidence.”
A confident woman walks like a graceful cat, with a confident look and an attractive smile. The squeezed one slouches, walks like a yard boy, always directing his body forward. By changing your habitual way of moving, you can become a completely different person. No exaggeration! How mesmerizing some models are on the catwalk. Every movement attracts the eye from afar. A 45-year-old housewife, businesswoman or student is no worse!
How to change your gait and be beautiful:
- Never lose your posture! How can you not use something that visually makes your breasts round, your waist slim, and your body elegant? Turn your shoulders, throw them back slightly and let go - three components of beautiful posture.
- The head is slightly raised. The view should fall not on the basement level, but on the second floor. A slightly raised chin speaks of a person’s status and self-confidence.
- Like in the movie "Office Romance". “The gait of a panther preparing to leap!” And from the hip." Subtle hip swings make the look stunning.
- Wide steps. The glamorous lady never takes steps like in a geisha movie.
- A smooth and purposeful look is given by steps that roll completely over the entire area of the foot.
- You need to throw your legs forward freely. Pull the toe forward without pulling it back - this is the rule that the ballerinas of the Bolshoi Theater adhere to.
- Walk on a flat line. You can visualize a line drawn in chalk. This helps to develop coordination of movements and not seem like you are drunk.
- Relax your face! How to change your appearance when your facial expressions indicate complete discomfort? A girl with a subtle smile will shine like a star in public.
- Take your time. Often people are in a hurry due to the general pace in the crowd and habits. Life in a metropolis has taught us to forget about smoothness. A lady calmly walking along the road will not be left without a compliment.
Change style
“Who in the world is the sweetest, the most beautiful and the whitest?” - a well-known phrase from a fairy tale has grown into something more. A beautiful girl cannot be considered beautiful without proper care. No matter how many tons of cosmetics are on the face, no matter what clothes hide the body, appearance depends entirely on proper care. What immediately catches your attention? Well-groomed nails, clean skin, pleasant aroma, condition of hair.
How to change externally when there is no opportunity to spend huge sums on expensive products? It is not at all necessary to use premium brand cosmetic products. Budget funds are widely available. You need to choose those that best suit the characteristics of your body.
Good self-care helps you achieve clean, soft-touch skin. With sufficient hydration, irritating rashes and other defects do not appear on the skin, and the epidermis recovers faster. How to change your hairstyle if your hair is in poor condition? Medications will help get rid of split ends, excessive dryness, oiliness, and hair loss.
Get a new haircut
How to change your hairstyle when the haircut does not bring visual pleasure? A haircut is something that can completely change a girl's appearance. It must be created by a professional, because the ease of styling and curling hair depends on every detail. A successful haircut can erase decades of age from the owner’s face.
Repaint yourself in a radically new color
How to change your appearance beyond recognition? Dye your hair a different color! It is important to choose a color based on your face tone. For those with white skin, dark and cool shades are suitable. Tanned people look better with light, warm colors. With just one hair color you can make your look pop. It is better to entrust experiments to a real professional. It's time to step out of your comfort zone and embrace change head on.
Get into the habit of styling your hair
A hairstyle is the shape of hair that is created using various hair clips, elastic bands, and hairpins. It is important to follow current trends. Periodically reviewing photographs from shows and celebrities, it is worth taking tips for yourself. It is enough to casually twist your hair, move a strand or make fight braids, like another person in front of you.
Learn makeup
You can correct the position of your eyes and the depth of your gaze using generally available techniques. There are chic ways to hide visible imperfections and highlight the contour of the eye. Today it is bad manners to wear meter-long false eyelashes and wear provocative makeup. How to change your appearance and not spend a lot of time on preparation? Professional eyelash extensions will be the salvation of girls. It lasts for a long time and does not require hours of makeup.
Make a new eyebrow shape
Eyebrow fashion has always changed. In the 20s, it was fashionable to have thread-thin eyebrows. Today, the brow ridge should have a natural width. The main rule is that eyebrows must be completely symmetrical. Then the impression of a distorted face is not created. You can’t make your eyebrow color too expressive using a pencil. Moderately expressed and correct in shape is the best way to become stylish.
Learn the basics of contour makeup.
How to give your face shape an expressive look? Socialites post charming photos of their perfect faces. Contouring is a technique that helps hide visible imperfections. It is important to know the features of facial sculpture. Big nose? Let's fix it! Wide cheekbones? Let's reduce it! Proper darkening and lightening of the skin in the right places works wonders.
Emphasize lips.
Lips rightfully occupy first place in the list of the most attractive parts of the body. Always wear nude lipstick? Isn't it time to change your tone and become a little brighter? Makeup artists recommend making one accent in the form of expressive lips. Bright lipsticks in the right tones suit everyone!
Learn the secrets of the décolleté area
For many, a cutout in the chest area is an unacceptable idea! Many people have complexes about small breasts, and some try to hide voluminous ones. The open neckline also shows the neck and collarbones, which attracts even more attention. The image is becoming more feminine, which means it’s time to replenish your wardrobe with things with a cutout. Is it difficult to get started right away? It would be stylish to tie a thin scarf or scarf around your neck, which will visually create a light barrier.
Achieve an attractive figure
You should always take a moment for physical health. When you lose extra pounds and work on your terrain, you just want to highlight the results of your hard work with new things.
Know how to choose shoes and accessories
How to change your appearance with just one pair of shoes? In your personal collection, have shoes with heels, but stable ones. Putting it on, the girl instantly acquires slender, long legs. Shoes must be stable and comfortable. Today, many flat models look good with both business and casual attire.
Particular attention should be paid to the toe of your shoes. Slightly pointed but rounded boots, shoes, ballet flats look good. How to change with accessories? They maintain a balance in appearance, making the image thought out to the smallest detail. Subtle jewelry, a scarf, a handbag or a belt will go well with discreet items. For a harmonious combination of accessories of the same color there should not be more than two.
After reading the article to the end, you learned the secrets that will help you become different. How to change your appearance guaranteed? Trust your inner feelings and try yourself in different roles. We know that you won’t apply all the tips, but at least some of them will make you happy. Did you like the article? Share it with your friends on social media. networks!
