How the body copes with stress. Basic principles of stress treatment

Augusto Kuri

The amount and intensity of stress in our lives is steadily growing and it is becoming more and more difficult for people to cope with them, mainly due to their inability to respond competently to negative external stimuli. And today there are many of these irritants, primarily due to the high pace of life, so a person cannot cope without the ability to effectively resist stress. Stress is the body’s defensive reaction to an extreme situation, expressed in emotional and physical stress, which requires it to activate large resources necessary to cope with certain circumstances. In this article we will find out how this reaction can be controlled and thus cope with stress.

It is impossible to live completely without stress, because it is dangerous to turn off your body’s defenses from all kinds of threats, both real and imaginary, that can cause serious harm to it. But it is certainly necessary to reduce their number and intensity, since they not only make our lives less comfortable, but also at a certain stage of their development cause serious harm to our physical and psychological health. In this article, based on my professional and life experience, I will tell you, dear readers, about how to cope with stress in everyday life and how to become a stress-resistant person in general.

I’ll say right away, to those of you, dear friends, who are, to one degree or another, already familiar with the information presented in this article and at the same time cannot cope with stress with its help, that I can offer you something special and unique that will allow you to cope with stress is an inoculation against stress. It will be discussed in more detail below. For now, I’ll briefly say that this vaccination allows a person to develop immunity to stress. This immunity, friends, is your shield from stress, which represents a person’s ability to self-control in a stressful situation, the ability to accept and solve problems that cause stress, the ability to be joyful and happy in any life situation and the ability to provide psychological relief when necessary. Thus, if the information below does not help you overcome stress, contact me for advice. I will give you a stress vaccine that will make you a more stress-resistant person, and therefore a more successful, more joyful, more self-confident and happier person. In the meantime, let's look at what stress is and why we need it, and how we can cope with it using known methods. Who knows, maybe my article will bring you useful information about stress in such a way that you can easily cope with it yourself, on your own. To do this, I will try to explain to you all the most significant points in this matter as best as possible.

So, stress. This is not a negative phenomenon; in fact, as many believe, it is, as mentioned above, a protective reaction, and therefore a necessary one for our body. When under stress, our body modifies its vital functions in such a way as to achieve much greater results than in a calm state. When experiencing stress, a person goes through three stages: the anxiety stage, the resistance stage and the exhaustion stage. Each of these stages is characterized by certain reactions of the human body to external conditions. During anxiety, the body mobilizes all its internal reserves to resist real or imaginary aggression. At this moment, a person’s breathing accelerates and becomes intermittent, the heartbeat quickens, blood pressure rises, the pupils dilate, muscles tense, and a lump appears in the throat. All these body reactions are caused by the release of adrenaline into the blood, which prepares the body for immediate and decisive action to protect itself from external threats. At this moment, a person is faced with a choice - “fight or flee.” In rare cases, a person, due to fear caused by an external threat, may fall into a stupor, but much more often, many people, at the prompting of nature, prefer to run, or in other, more rare cases, to fight.

The second stage, the stage of resistance, forces the body to adapt to the stress experienced. The body begins to get used to aggression and pressure if it lasts too long, and becomes more resistant to an unfavorable situation for it. This habituation allows the body to avoid exhaustion, thus compensating for energy consumption caused by stress. A person at this stage experiences internal stress, which leads him to anxiety, fatigue, and forgetfulness. He decides exactly how he should react to the stressful situation, or how to get along with it.

In the event that the body is no longer able to mobilize in order to find the necessary resources to fully resist stress, the third stage begins - the stage of exhaustion. A person at this stage ceases to function effectively, his physical and psychological strength is completely exhausted. In a state of exhaustion, people are more susceptible to all sorts of diseases, such as heart disease, peptic ulcers, migraines, skin rashes and many others. As for a person’s feelings, at this stage he experiences anger, anxiety, irritability, panic attacks, and may fall into deep depression. In other words, due to the action of super-strong or super-long irritants, which inevitably cause stress in a person, enormous harm is caused to his health, both physical and mental. Thus, friends, stress can be both a positive and negative reaction, moderately useful and certainly necessary, but with prolonged effects on our body, it is definitely harmful.

Now, having understood what stress is and what stages it goes through in its development, let's talk about fighting it. We will talk about the fight against the very stress that causes irreparable harm to our health and prevents us from enjoying life. The fight against stress comes down mainly to a person’s struggle with himself. After all, it is obvious that we cannot always significantly influence certain situations that cause us stress; we cannot always avoid these situations, much less foresee them. But to pull ourselves together, try to adapt to each specific situation or change our attitude towards it - we can and must do this. And for this, we need to develop the flexibility of our thinking. A person must be able to adapt to any conditions and situations; he must be prepared, at least mentally, for any development of events. The adaptation process, as mentioned above, also causes stress, but this stress is not so much harmful as it is beneficial for the body, it is just as beneficial for it as the stress that we experience when we play sports or overload our brains - such stress makes us stronger. But stress associated with fear, panic, despair, and nervous behavior destroys us because it causes exhaustion of the body. We need moderate stress that builds our character, not kills us. A person should always be in a little tension - this is a prerequisite for survival in this world. Therefore, in order to cope with stress, in the best way, from my professional point of view, I suggest you, dear friends, get yourself a stress vaccine, which will allow you to develop immunity to stressful situations and improve your adaptive abilities. As you remember, I wrote about this vaccination at the very beginning of the article. Let me mention it again before I give you other recommendations for dealing with stress that are better known to most people. Still, vaccination against stress is my own method of dealing with it. Or rather, it’s not so much a struggle as it is working with stress.

How to vaccinate yourself against stress? Or rather, how do I do it when working with people? To do this, a person needs to learn to periodically immerse himself in a moderate stressful state and, while in this state, learn to respond competently to various threats, as well as solve various tasks that cause or could cause him more severe stress. In this way, a person will train the flexibility of his thinking, learning to solve non-standard problems using non-standard methods, and will develop his adaptive abilities, accustoming himself to unusual and, to one degree or another, dangerous situations for him. I plunge into a state of moderate stress those people who turn to me for help, who themselves cannot force themselves to act in stressful situations in the right way by the power of their will. For some people, it is enough just to know how to act in a particular situation that usually causes them stress, so that, being in this situation, they can act calmly and competently, without unnecessary nerves and fuss. And someone needs special psychological preparation for such situations, without which it is difficult, if not impossible, for people to cope with the difficulties they have encountered, and, most importantly, with themselves. Therefore, some people need a vaccine against stress, while others can adapt to any, even the most difficult and dangerous situations without it.

Now let's talk about standard ways to deal with stress, which many people know about, or at least have heard about, but, unfortunately, do not always use them. You can counteract the effects of stress with the help of positive emotions - this is perhaps the best cure for all stress, and the most affordable. Agree, finding positive emotions in our lives is not difficult, there are plenty of them everywhere, you just need to set such a goal for yourself. You need to start reaching for everything that makes you happy, makes you happy, that gives you great pleasure. For this, you may need the help of other people, including specialists - who will guide you in the right direction, help you find positive moments in your life and focus your attention on them, so that you switch from negative emotions to positive ones. In any case, this problem can be solved. Anyone can solve it. So, dear readers, the more positive emotions you have in your life, the calmer and easier you will be to endure stressful situations. After all, when talking about the problem of stress, we mean primarily emotional stress, and not the adaptation syndrome, which is a set of nonspecific changes that occur in our body.

The second thing you need to increase your resistance to stress, for a calm and adequate perception of life is the ability to satisfy your basic physiological needs - food, sleep, physical and intellectual activity, sex. Actually, it is a person’s long-term dissatisfaction with some of his vital needs that is the cause of his emotional stress. And in order to counter this stress with positive emotions, it is imperative to satisfy these needs. That is, you will not be able to experience the positive emotions necessary to cope with stress if you do not satisfy your basic physiological needs. For example, if a person is hungry and hasn’t had enough sleep, it will be difficult to cheer him up. In general, everything that our body needs, it should receive. Otherwise, a person feels dissatisfaction, which leads to stress.

Other people play a very important role in our lives, and our satisfaction with ourselves and our lives, and therefore our emotional state, depends on the quality of our relationships with them. Any normal person needs another person for a normal life from which he will enjoy. That is, we all need a loved one next to us, with whom we will feel happy. This is one of our basic needs. We want happiness, joy, love, respect, understanding, and we are looking for all this in our lives, we dream about it. Happiness and joy of life are positive emotions based on the needs we satisfy. These positive emotions protect us from stress. Happiness is our shield from stress. And the happier we are, the easier it will be for us to perceive stress. And to be happy you need to love someone and be loved. So love and be loved - love can work wonders! She will definitely help you cope with stress.

In addition to great and bright love, which makes us happy, and at the same time strong and resilient, able to withstand any difficulties and adversities, every person still needs to achieve certain successes in various matters in their lives. It is not necessary to achieve success in everything, especially since it is impossible to do anyway. Success must be achieved in those areas that each of us considers significant to ourselves. Success can be measured, and often that is exactly what it is, since it is impossible to achieve everything at once. The main thing is that a person recognizes his successes and appreciates them, despite the failures that also occur in the lives of each of us. You must appreciate all your achievements, and based on them, strive for even greater achievements, because a winner in life is a happy and self-confident person. Such a person is satisfied with himself and his life, and thanks to self-confidence, he is able to withstand any stress. Small victories, as well as big ones, make us stronger. And you can win in different things, depending on the abilities and desires of each of us, because we are all strong in something. When a person sets a goal and achieves it, he experiences great pleasure and grows in his own eyes. So the more and the more often we achieve success in various matters, the more resistant our psyche will be to all kinds of stressful situations. Self-confidence, based on our previous achievements, will save us from fear of many problems and difficulties, and, consequently, from stress.

We have reviewed with you, dear readers, the basic methods of dealing with stress, using which each of you will be able to adequately withstand various stressful situations that often arise in our lives, without jeopardizing your psychological and physical health. Thanks to positive emotions and satisfaction of your physiological needs, you will be reliably protected from the stress that depletes your body. So live life to the fullest and enjoy it and everything will be fine with you.

As for other, slightly less significant, but more subtle moments in our lives that affect our resistance to stress, we also need to pay attention to them in order to make our protection against stress even more reliable. Let's say, it is absolutely obvious that every person should have a place where he can completely relax, rest his soul and body, abandon all his problems and worries, and generally forget about it. That is, a person should have a place where he will feel completely safe. He, figuratively speaking, must have a reliable fortress, behind the walls of which he can allow himself to relax. In this fortress he will restore his strength and prepare for new battles, that is, to confront life’s difficulties. Healthy, adequate sleep is also very important for a person in order not only to cope with stress, but also to be effective in life. Some of my clients who I have helped cope with stress have found themselves sleeping so little and working so much that I am simply amazed that they were able to do their job well while being so sleep deprived. My dears, this is not possible. Don’t chase after this money - it will always be small, it’s better to take care of yourself - rest, get some sleep, restore your strength. It is better to work a little, but effectively, than to work a lot and wear out. No matter how much you work, as you know, you won’t earn all the money, but you can seriously damage your health without getting enough sleep and resting properly. And then nothing and no one will help you cope with stress, not even my magic vaccine. Therefore, take rest and especially sleep very seriously!

In addition to rest and sleep, you, dear friends, need optimism to withstand stressful situations. Optimism is directly related to the positive emotions already described above, which are an excellent cure for stress. Be optimistic, do not take life in a negative light and too seriously, take it playfully and always look for positive moments in any situation. To do this, you need to have, among other things, the flexibility of thinking I mentioned above, so that with its help you can see positive aspects, and, consequently, opportunities, even in the most unfavorable situations for you. It’s not always possible to do this, I understand this; life sometimes presents us with such unpleasant surprises that no matter how hard you try, you won’t see the good in them. And sometimes she just knocks us down, so it can be very difficult to get up after her heavy blow. And yet, you need to try to think more broadly and deeply in any situation, you need to ask yourself the question - what can be good in all this bad? And it is quite possible that you will see this as a good thing - you will see those opportunities that will allow you to turn an unfavorable situation into your favor and thereby get rid of stress. In this world, of course, you must first of all be a realist, and not an optimist, in order to make adequate decisions. But since reality is not fully known to us, it is always necessary to maintain hope for the best and try to see the good in everything, even in bad things. Then there will be much less stress in your life, and much more opportunities.

If, friends, standard ways of dealing with stress do not help you, and you, despite my advice and the advice of other psychologists, still do not know how to cope with stress, then, as mentioned above, you need to vaccinate yourself against stress. That is, you need to begin to periodically immerse yourself in a state of moderate stress, which is acceptable specifically for your psyche, and while in this state, learn to get out of it on your own, by finding the right solutions to various problems that arise in extreme situations and pose for you real threat. And also, while in a state of moderate stress, you need to solve those problems, the solution of which will help you achieve certain goals, for example, satisfy your basic needs. In other words, with the help of your imagination, plunge yourself into a stressful state, and then get out of it, solving various problems and tasks in your head. By the way, not all people who are looking for an answer to the question of how to overcome stress know about a similar method of solving this problem. That is, not everyone knows about the stress vaccine. Do you know why? Because this vaccination always requires an individual approach to the person – the client. After all, each person has his own psychological immunity, his own characteristics. And these features must be taken into account when vaccinating him against stress.

It is, of course, not easy to give yourself such a vaccination; for this you need to have, at a minimum, good self-discipline and a good imagination. Therefore, it is better to seek help from a psychologist so that he can carry out the necessary work with you using a special treatment program. You can contact me for this purpose. I have special programs to help get rid of stress, and I also have experience in using them successfully. Therefore, if stress is poisoning your life, contact us. I will give you a good vaccination against stress, after which you will seem to be reborn, and your life will become much easier and more interesting.

This question is asked by psychologists, personnel officers, and doctors. And everyone answers it differently. According to psychologists, those who are most susceptible to stress at work are those who take care of elderly and sick people, as well as children's nannies. Due to constant emotional stress, 11% of workers in this field suffer from depression for two or more weeks every year. Second place went to catering staff. Health care workers took third place. Architects, scientists and engineers have the least amount of stress.

But doctors have found out for whom anxiety poses the greatest danger. According to doctors, women suffering from premenstrual syndrome and in menopause are at greater risk of developing serious illnesses due to stress than others. PMS is usually a consequence of endocrine disorders in the body, and menopause is associated with hormonal changes in the body. Against this background, stress can cause excessive tearfulness, irritability, abnormalities in blood pressure, pulse and other unpleasant symptoms.

Another risk group is workers who drink alcohol and smokers. Alcohol disrupts the functioning of all organs, including the brain, and makes it difficult to properly respond to stress. And nicotine, when it enters the body, constricts blood vessels, increases the pulse rate, and damages the walls of blood vessels. As a result, when under stress, the cardiovascular system of smokers experiences excessive strain.

take care of yourself

Have you found yourself in at least one risk group? This means that you urgently need to take measures to prevent work stress from affecting your health.

Get enough sleep! If there is not enough rest, then the reaction to stress will be inadequate. In addition, lack of sleep combined with stress can cause heart attack, stroke, and thrombosis.

Eat right. It is very important to get enough B vitamins (the body uses them especially actively during stress), omega-3 fatty acids - they will help prevent depression, magnesium - it fights muscle tension, antioxidants - they reduce the damage that cortisol (a hormone released during stress) ) causes brain cells.

Play sports. Physical education is training not only the muscles, but the whole body. During sports, the same hormones are released into the blood as during stress, but in small quantities. This helps the body adapt and survive in a critical situation.

Away, worries!

Of course, taking preventative measures will make you more resilient in the face of stress. But what to do at a time when emotions overflow?

Try relaxing with breathing exercises. Deep breathing will quickly normalize blood pressure, heart rate, and reduce stress levels. Inhale deeply for 4 counts and exhale through your mouth for 8 counts. Repeat the exercise 3-4 times.

Another quick way to relieve stress is to massage the back of your neck. There are several points here that you can act on to relieve tension and get rid of headaches. To massage, tilt your head forward and place your index, middle and ring fingers on the area located below the base of the skull (the distance between the fingers of both hands is about 3 cm). Massage these areas quite intensively for 5-7 minutes, breathing during the massage should be slow and deep.

How to calm down quickly

Life can be very stressful; sometimes you need to cope with the stress of everyday life. Stress can be caused by various factors: family troubles, problems at work, financial difficulties, poor health or even the death of a loved one. It is important to recognize its causes (sometimes stress can be natural), take steps to combat the cause of the problem and eliminate the symptoms of stress. The most important thing is not to fight it alone: ​​seek help from a friend or, if necessary, a professional.

Steps

Fight stress with lifestyle changes

Get regular exercise. Targeted workouts help rid your body of stress hormones and increase levels of endorphins, the chemicals that make you feel good. Take time out of your busy day to exercise. This will help you keep your body healthy and naturally remove stress hormones from your body. You will definitely feel the difference.

Get a good night's sleep. Give your body the sleep it needs and your stress levels will drop dramatically. Sleep is a process through which your body independently restores strength and energy. If you don't get enough sleep, your body will use stress to keep you active and alert when your energy reserves are low.

Eat right. To overcome stress, your body needs to be healthy, happy and properly energized. Despite what you may think, stress is the body's response to anything that disrupts its natural state, meaning your body can have a huge impact on the development and reduction of stress.

Learn to relax. A great way to reduce stress is to relax your body using natural methods. Don't expect stress to go away instantly; this may take time. Try not to focus on stress itself while relaxing. Think about something calm and serene, or try not to think about anything. Let your body tell your mind that everything is okay.

• Listen to slow, relaxing music. Music can really help you relax and feel happy. Try choosing music without lyrics that uses instruments such as flute, piano or violin. Usually classical, jazz, and folk tunes help well, but if you don’t like them, choose the music that calms you down.
• Take a bath. For a great feeling, add sea salt or any other aromatic bath salt to the water. Use this time for yourself and relax.
• Get a massage. It doesn't matter whether you get a massage from a professional or your loved one, but in any case it will have a great relaxing effect. Use lotion or oil and keep the lights dim to create the most relaxing atmosphere possible.
• Start keeping a journal or diary. You don't have to take notes every day. Writing down the things that bother you, the things that occupy your time, and the things you think about can help you release negative emotions.

1. Start practicing yoga and meditation. You can consider yoga as a daily practice, as the practice of deep stretching and slow movements will help you clear your mind. Meditation clears your mind, and yoga exercises can double your relaxation to reduce stress levels.

   • Use guided imagination to imagine a place that helps you feel peaceful. Imagine a place where you feel happy; focus on the details to become completely detached from the present moment.
   • Practice yoga alone or in a group if you need help learning new poses. If your yoga level is high, you will be able to perform challenging stretches that will force you to focus and take your mind off stress.
   • Experience deep relaxation by practicing muscle relaxation. These are exercises aimed at tensing the muscles for ten seconds, and then relaxing them. This will soften and relax the muscles in your body.

2. Do what you enjoy. Often, if you are stressed, you may find that there is no time left in your schedule for your favorite activities. Whether it's drawing, writing, reading, exercising, or cooking, set aside time each day to do activities that bring you pleasure.

   Treating stress with mental exercises

   1. Try not to think negatively. Think about the positive things in your life and begin to restore balance to your emotional register. Avoid focusing only on the negative events that happened during the day, but also think about the positive things.

      • Sit down and count the blessings you have. Write down even the most mundane things you have and enjoy: a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in, good food, warmth, security, good health, friends or relatives. Please understand that this is not available to everyone.
      • When you wake up in the morning, say something nice to yourself. This will channel your energy and mind towards positive thinking. Be grateful for every day you live, because you don’t know which one may be your last!
      • Use positive self-hypnosis. Strengthen your resolve with positive statements like "I can handle this without rushing" or "I've dealt with this successfully before - there's no reason why I can't do it again."
      • Visualize positive events; it doesn't take long, but it can help you focus. Think about success, read about successful people. Don't admit defeat before you fail. You don't deserve to constantly humiliate and beat yourself up.

   2. Organize your life. Set goals for yourself that you need to achieve during the day, then make a list of them. Taking a short break in the middle of the day will give you time to recharge. Taking control of your time and prioritizing it will help you significantly reduce the amount of stress you feel.

      • Don't forget about your capabilities. Be realistic when looking at what you can and cannot accomplish in one day. There's no point in biting off more than you can chew and then beating yourself up for not being able to cope.
      • Set your priorities. Work on the highest priority items (most urgent/important) first. Move unimportant items to the end of the list.
      • Do the most unpleasant and difficult tasks at the beginning of the day, when you are full of energy - this way you will avoid the stress of last-minute work. Procrastination can cause stress!
      • Focus on quality rather than quantity of work completed. Be proud of what you did well, not too much.
      • Whenever possible, plan your day to prevent stressful situations and reduce the number of stressors you may encounter at any given time. Set deadlines for large projects.
      • At the end of the day, review your goals and think about everything you have achieved. This will give you confidence and help you sleep better. Mark the items on the list that you were able to complete.

   3. Identify what is bothering you. Make sure you understand why you're stressed so you can try to avoid those factors. Knowledge is power, and knowing yourself well is doubly powerful.

      • For example, if you notice that you are regularly stressed at certain times in the presence of a certain person, then begin to prepare your brain differently for the upcoming stress. If you love and trust this person, gently tell him how he makes you feel. If you don't feel comfortable sharing what you're feeling, remind yourself that it's a fleeting thing, that the feeling will pass, and you'll soon be back under control.
      • Rehearse. If you know you will encounter a stressful situation, rehearse how you will handle it. Imagine that you have successfully overcome the situation. Create a scene that you can replay in your head over and over again.

   4. Stop worrying about things you can't change. This is especially true for things like politics, and often applies to other people. Accepting the state of things as they are is an important mechanism of psychological adaptation, although it is not as easy as it seems.

   5. Develop a sense of humor. One of the obstacles to dealing with stress is the tendency to take everything too seriously. It's okay to let go of stress and deal with life's troubles with humor. Laugh a little, or better yet, laugh heartily! Find the funny in what bothers you.

      • Learn to laugh at yourself. Don’t humiliate yourself and don’t lower your self-esteem, but try jokingly scolding yourself from time to time. How can you laugh at other things if you can't even laugh at yourself?

   6. Learn to rely on friends and loved ones. This is one of the most important points, because being closed only contributes to stress. Your friends - if they are true friends - will try to understand what is happening to you, and, in addition to sympathy, will sincerely want to help you as best they can.

      • Ask friends for help. If you want to do something, but can't find the strength or time to do it, then it's completely normal to ask friends or family for help. Express your gratitude and offer your help in return.
      • Look for respect from people, not approval - including your friends. Friends will respect you because they love you, even if they don't always agree with you. Enemies (if you have them) will respect you because you act from pure, sincere motives. Resist the desire to be loved and approved by everyone - this is an unbearable burden. If you follow this, you will be less stressed and feel much more satisfied.
      • Look for positive people, not negative ones. It sounds cliché because it's true: By surrounding yourself with fun, enthusiastic, kind people, you can avoid the stress you would experience with pessimistic, cynical, angry people.
   7. • Chew gum. Research shows that chewing can reduce stress, which is why many people who are constantly stressed tend to overeat. Chewing gum is a healthier alternative.
      • Get a massage.
      • Be honest about your feelings. Don't deny them or try to suppress them, as this will only increase your stress. Don't be afraid to cry - it will relieve tension and give vent to hidden emotions, which can help you cope with your problems.
      • Plan future events that you will look forward to. Using your imagination can also help you relieve stress.
      • Get out in the sun more often. Sunlight can lift your mood and improve seasonal affective disorder (SAD).
      • If you feel like you need to ask someone for forgiveness, do it. Make sure this doesn't make the situation worse. Feelings of guilt make stress worse.
      • Do something you want or have been putting off for a long time, but make sure it’s not an escape from reality.
      • Develop a long-term perspective and know that events may not be as stressful as you think. Think not about what causes you stress, but about the things that are truly important in your life.

      Warnings

      • Avoid self-medicating with alcohol, drugs, medications, etc.
      • Seek professional help immediately if you experience chest pain or dizziness.
      • Avoid trying to escape from reality, as this will not help you cope with the situation, and in worst cases, you will need medical help.
      • If you suffer from chronic stress, you are likely to cry frequently, experience sudden weight gain or loss, and a lack of sexual desire. In this case, you urgently need to see a doctor and describe your symptoms to him. You may have a nervous disorder or other illnesses.

A few years ago, my life was a chaotic flow of affairs, worries and events.

After the divorce, I worked two jobs (both full-time), finished my studies at nutrition school, wrote a thesis, blogged, conducted webinars, raised two fairly young children (now they are 4 and 9 years old), went on dates and almost I didn’t meet friends every day. (Has it caught your eye yet?)

At the same time, I managed to read a bunch of educational literature, go to the gym and travel several times a year. From the outside, it’s not life, but a dream. But answering questions in an interview about how I manage to do everything, I wanted to shout: “I can’t do it!”

Don't be fooled by happy photos on Instagram. You will never know the truth about how these successful people live and feel. I really SEEMED to have time for everything. Especially when compared with those who dream a lot, but never take action. But a ball of tension grew inside - because I wanted to do even more, I was always dissatisfied with the result. And in general, as I understand now, I was simply running away from myself.

I overloaded myself with business and communication. It was not at all necessary for me to have two jobs - one Danish salary was enough to live on for both me and my children. But I have ambitions, I want to live only through nutrition! Needing admiration and attention after a painful divorce, I went on dates non-stop. I thought it boosted my self-esteem. But in fact, I was wasting energy and time on strangers.

I was rushing through life at a frantic pace. Until the dizziness started. At first they did not occur every day or even every week. I was guilty of a lack of iron, but blood tests showed normal, and meanwhile the dizziness became more frequent. By March of this year they became so strong that I doubted whether I had the right to drive. It got scary...

After analyzing my condition, I realized that I was dealing with impending stress (dizziness, poor sleep, fatigue even after ten hours of sleep, inability to concentrate, poor memory, palpitations, increased sweating during sleep, mood swings, gloomy outlook on life...) I had almost all the signs - either immediately, or one after another.

My favorite motto: “To stay in one place, you have to run very fast.” To get somewhere, you have to move at least twice as fast” was called into question. I started working in the opposite direction: reducing stress and the number of things to do.

To begin with, for once I decided to see a psychologist. It didn't take long to look for him. After the divorce, I already resorted to the help of a specialist in this profile and was very pleased with the result.

We are always greedy on psychologists, nutritionists, personal trainers... (Getting your nails done every month is not a waste of money, but for some reason the toad puts pressure on your peace of mind and health...) But in vain! Most of my clients know everything about proper nutrition, but they don’t know the main thing: how to implement this into THEIR life.

While a specialist helps you understand where to move, what mistakes you are making, and what changes and techniques you need. Our usual stingy approach: “I’ll now read some smart articles from the “Help yourself” series and then I’ll start...” - doesn’t work.

I decided not to be greedy and splurged. Not for a new wardrobe and bath oil, as the glossy magazine advises, but for a psychologist. I have no time! Life must be lived. Therefore, there was no time to delve into the Internet. And guess what? I haven't regretted a single penny spent. In addition, I saved a lot of time and nerves for myself and the people around me and became definitely wiser.

Of course, you can deal with stress on your own. The specialist will only guide you; in any case, you will have to carry out the instructions yourself. But with the support of experienced and knowledgeable people, this path is much easier. Having relieved the most acute symptoms, I began to slowly deal with my stress.

1. I removed, as much as possible, situations that provoke stress.

Stress is an overload both in the number of things to do and in the number of negative emotions. Do you really need to go to the gym five times a week? Or can you limit yourself to two workouts, but increase the number of walks? If your job is annoying you, maybe it's time to change it? I myself have sharply reduced the number of visits to social networks. It just seems like a minute here, two there. A day accumulates a huge number of HOURS spent in front of a screen without a goal. In addition, I agreed with my boss to reduce my working hours per week to free up more time for blogging and nutrition.

2. I wrote a list of things and activities that bring me pleasure.

This list must contain at least 20 items. Have you recorded it? Now put them all on your calendar. AND DO IT! You don’t forget about the meeting with your superiors, so don’t forget about the meeting with yourself. If you planned to read for an hour, read it. My personal list included: massage, cooking, reading, going to a cafe, walking with my daughter, fooling around with my son (this can also be included in the plan to ensure you have time for this). Recently a neighbor asked why it took me so long to put my children to bed. I explained to her that I first read and lie with one until he falls asleep, and then I do the same with the other. And she told me: “You don’t have to do this at all.” And I understand that I don’t have to. But I CONSCIOUSLY set aside almost an hour of my time every evening for this, because I enjoy it. Such an investment in today's happiness and in future relationships with children.

3. I put things in order. Both at home and in the diary.

Nothing gets on your nerves more than scattered things and unfinished tasks. This is also a stress factor, especially if you, like me, suffer from perfectionism. Better yet, get rid of unnecessary things. It’s simply amazing how many unidentified and forgotten objects are in our house. Now I go EVERY week to donate unnecessary things and keep thinking, when will I finally finish decluttering? By the way, the best book on this topic, in my opinion, is “The Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo.

4. I have forgiven those who haunt me.

Until you truly forgive these people, they will keep coming back into your life, again and again, causing stress. My ex-husband, with his talent for creating a problem out of nowhere, regularly spoiled my mood. Day after day! It seemed like there was no way I could get away from this, because we have common children. But - lo and behold! - after thorough forgiveness, using various techniques, I managed to significantly reduce the number of our conflicts. Here best forgiveness technique, with whom I worked. It was developed by Alexander Sviyash. Verified. Works.

5. I started practicing meditation and breathing exercises.

Breathing helps calm the nervous system, thereby stabilizing the production of stress hormones. Only by breathing deeply can you let your body know that the “tiger” (stress factor) has already left and you can relax. I started practicing Devi Intoyo's meditation on harmonizing soul and body. In addition, I started listening at night mantra of universal peace. All this takes only 10-15 minutes, but the effect is worth it.

6. I declared war on perfectionism.

Learn to separate what is important, what can wait, what you can not do at all, and what to delegate to others. For example, I stopped ironing bed linen and towels. The windows in the house are now washed by a person hired for this purpose. And a moderate mess in the house a couple of times a week is not the biggest problem. First the IMPORTANT things, and then the secondary ones.

7. I fixed the energy leaks.

I have minimized communication with people who only criticize and do not bring joy, with acquaintances who are always whining. It turned out to be much more difficult than I thought. I was relieved to say goodbye to uninteresting books. Previously, I considered myself obligated to immediately answer all questions, of which, due to my profession, I receive a lot. Now I have introduced a rule - to check messages and mail at certain hours. It’s a little unusual to follow it, but the further you go, the easier it gets! Now I save a lot of time. Plus, I plan my entertainment very carefully and don’t rush, as before, to make friends with all the people I like. Fortunately, I already have many invaluable friends and colleagues.

8. I learned to say “no” and “I’ll think about it.”

If you are asked for the third time if you would like to become a member of the parent committee in a kindergarten, this is not a reason to agree. You have your own schedule, and let others sit on the committee. This has absolutely nothing to do with loving your children. If your mother falls under stress, this is where they will definitely miss you. I explained to the other mothers and teachers that I could not become an active parent. And in the office I don’t grab assignments that don’t relate to my direct responsibilities, as I did before.

9. I plan three important things for the day, for the month, for the quarter, for the year and for the five-year period.

Only three. This helps you maintain focus and eliminates the desire to grab onto everything at once. The feeling of eternal time pressure goes away. Just three things - everyone can do it. Now every morning I make a list of three important things and three small ones that won’t take much time, but are urgent. Very comfortably! And most importantly, I get the feeling that now I actually have time to do everything.

ATTENTION: Three important things mean more than just work. This list should also include things from your pleasure list. A walk in the woods is just as important as writing a report. For example, I now plan the publication of articles on my blog, and my training plan is planned out a month in advance. Of course, plans may change. There is no crime in this. But life is much easier when everything is planned out.

10. I make time for myself.

An hour a day, a day a week, a week a year... The more, the better. This is the time when I, WITH A QUIET CONSCIENCE, can only do what I want right now. Lying aimlessly on the couch with a stupid gloss, “stupidly” watching the sunset, fooling around with the kids, wearing pajamas all day (bonus of single life:))... These activities can vary. But I make sure to set aside one day a week when I don't work. As a rule, this is Saturday. On this day I do everything without plans and according to my mood. If there is sunshine outside, I go for a walk. If it’s raining, I can sit back with a book, leisurely eat breakfast and generally allow myself to be lazy.

Books helped me better understand my condition and overcome stress:

1. Vadim Zeland “Reality Transurfing” is about how to relax, make a wish and calmly go to it, like going to a kiosk for a newspaper. The book helped me understand that the path to success is not only and generally not always hard work. And also that in this life everything is possible!
2. Joe Dispenza “The Power of the Subconscious, or How to Change Your Life in 4 Weeks” - the author, of course, didn’t talk about four weeks. But! The book scientifically substantiates the theory that thoughts are material, and, importantly, teaches how to dream. I’ll write about this some other time - the realization of dreams down to the interior details (!) is very impressive!
3. Andrew Matthews “Live easy, be happy” - simple truths in understandable language. Maybe you already know all this, but still. It will be useful to remind yourself of this again. 

Troubles at work, troubles in the family, unfavorable environment, frantic pace of life lead to stress, which subsequently leads to nervous exhaustion of the body.

Why does stress occur?

Psychologists distinguish between two types of stress: external and internal. The appearance of stress occurs under the influence of an aggressive environment and bad habits, workloads, emotional experiences (divorce or separation from a partner). Stress factors that arise under the influence of internal causes include allergic reactions (usually food reactions), poor diet, and the onset of sexual activity.

Consequences of stress

As a result of stress, the following changes occur in the human body, which are reflected at the physical level:

increased heart rate associated with the need to increase nutrition of the body due to the release of additional energy. A rapid pulse provokes chest breathing (rapid breathing);
blood vessels dilate, the flow of oxygen and nutrients increases;
blood clotting increases, since at the physiological level the body is ready for physical pain;
pupils dilate, vision becomes sharper;
muscles increase glucose consumption in case physical force has to be used;
within a couple of weeks there is a sharp decrease or increase in body weight.
By weakening the digestive processes, energy is released for the muscles and brain.

Psychologists say that short-term stress, lasting no more than a few hours, is beneficial for humans. This type of stress speeds up the body’s metabolism, which has a positive effect on a person’s well-being.

The human body's response to stress is: “resist or flight.” A person who is constantly in a state of combat anxiety experiences emotional and physical discomfort. This reaction can be compared to simultaneously pressing the brake and gas pedals at full speed in a car.

Stress can and must be dealt with, otherwise it can lead to serious diseases, for example, chronic hypertension. A direct connection between chronic stress, cancer and diabetes has also been proven.

Effective ways to deal with stress

In order to overcome the manifestations of stress, identify its root cause. To begin, observe your feelings. Since stress is directly related to anxiety, it is important to monitor its manifestations. At what moments does anxiety peak? What events preceded the onset of anxiety? The services of a qualified psychologist will help. However, if you have neither the time nor the financial opportunity to turn to a professional, you can try to put the following techniques into practice:

Help people around you. Feeling sorry for himself, a person forgets that there are a large number of people who are much worse off than him. By helping others in difficult life situations, a person not only takes his mind off his problems, but also learns to appreciate every moment of life.
Resolve the number of important matters. You can reduce the burden on the body by reducing urgent matters. A person feels most comfortable with a measured lifestyle. Learn to plan your time by scheduling things by day, week and month. Psychologists say: people who know how to plan their time are more resistant to stress than their disorganized comrades.
“Switch!” During a difficult period, when thoughts are busy searching for a solution to a problem, it is impossible to think about something else. By training the body, a person learns to “turn off” the head from external problems. Start practicing Pilates and yoga, which will help not only cope with the effects of stress, but also prevent them. Crosswords, puzzles, jigsaw puzzles or logic problems can replace sports.
Release negative energy! To achieve maximum effect, you can use the following psychological technique: walk out the door, slam it loudly and imagine that the problem remains behind it. It’s even better to walk through a few doors with this thought.
Control your emotions. The fact is that the brain does not ask how serious our problems are, and produces stress hormones in response to any emotional outbursts. You can listen to relaxing music, take a bath with herbs or aromatic oils.
Smile! Smiling and laughter provokes the release of joy hormones that suppress stress. Everything in the body is interconnected: when a person is in a great mood, he smiles. The same thing applies in the opposite direction.
Start doing exercises every day. At least half an hour a day should be allocated for physical exercise. According to doctors, of all sports, the best stress relievers are race walking. Working muscles will burn off excess adrenaline. Its accumulation has a negative effect on the body.
Aggression must find a way out. Everyone knows the method of the Japanese, who love to heartily beat the stuffed boss. You can tell the offender everything you think about him in a letter, but, of course, there is no need to send it. The letter can be torn into many small pieces, scattering them in the wind, or burned.
Add vitamins and microelements to your diet. Vitamin E increases resistance to stress. Therefore, it is worth introducing foods such as soybeans, carrots, potatoes, walnuts, blackberries, and corn into your diet.
Pamper yourself! You shouldn’t eat away at stress, but you can reward yourself for quickly overcoming anxiety by eating a piece of dark chocolate or making a long-awaited purchase at a clothing store.
Tea and coffee are prohibited! When under stress, it is better to avoid drinking coffee and tea. You can replace your favorite drinks with herbal infusions, fruit drinks, and freshly squeezed juices.
Change your diet. Nutritionists say that sandwiches with hard grain bread and salmon pate are real stress-fighters among foods. , spinach in salads, sunflower seeds will also benefit the body. In turn, it is recommended to exclude sugar, white bread, and baked goods from the diet, which provoke the release of insulin into the blood.

How to cope with anxiety?

It's easy to say: “Calm down! Get a hold of yourself". There are times when emotions literally overwhelm you, and no amount of advice helps. You will have to cope with them by influencing the body physically.

When your voice is trembling, you need to take the thumb of one hand and massage it properly, then do the same with the thumb of the other hand. Through the finger there is an impact on the speech center.
If the voice is intercepted, or the words are confused, stuttering appears, you need to take a deep breath and, as you exhale, say mentally: “I speak calmly.” And so on several times. You can take water into your mouth and mentally pronounce the same phrase with each sip.
At a moment of strong excitement, you need to seize the moment, retire, then relax your facial muscles. After a few seconds, make a face and relax them again. Do this several times. Now the same can be done with the muscles of the limbs and torso, alternately tensing and relaxing them.
Mentally roll the problem into a ball and throw it away. The latter can be done with snow outside. It's even better to throw the problematic snowball at a blank wall so that it breaks into small pieces.
Stand up straight, clasp your hands behind your back. Moving them back, bring your shoulder blades together and freeze in this position for 5 seconds. Repeat several times and lower your relaxed arms along your body.
Ask a colleague or any friend nearby to massage your head, especially the occipital area. If no one is around, do it yourself.
Rub your earlobes with your fingers.
Rub the palms of your hands until they become hot. Place them on your closed eyes and hold them until they cool down.

Tip: another effective way to overcome stress

According to American scientists, there is a win-win way to deal with stress called “love.” When hugging and kissing your loved one, the hormone oxytocin is released. This hormone reduces anxiety and suppresses stress. Surrounding yourself with people who make you feel confident can help you cope with anxiety.

Help from a psychologist in dealing with stress

If you cannot overcome stress on your own, you can seek help from a psychologist. A body-oriented psychologist or psychotherapist will help eliminate the consequences of stress and identify the main reasons that led to its occurrence.