How to treat people to make them like you. Don't be arrogant

Quite often we find ourselves in a situation where we need to impress others. , an interview with your boss when applying for a job, meeting friends or relatives of your significant other, talking with business partners - this list can be continued endlessly. Sometimes, with new people under circumstances that are unusual for us, we begin to behave unnaturally, have complexes, say unnecessary things, or, conversely, cannot squeeze a word out of ourselves. We offer some simple, but at the same time irreplaceable tips that will help you make a positive impression and feel at ease in any situation.

They meet you by their clothes

Popular wisdom speaks the truth. Remember, appearance is one of the most important criteria at the initial stage. Your image should be appropriate to the situation, your clothes should be clean and tidy. If a meeting is planned, think in advance down to the smallest detail what you will wear. There is no need to “overload” your image with unnecessary accessories and sparkling jewelry, as they will distract the attention of your interlocutor. Do not use too bright colors in clothes and do not overuse makeup. Otherwise, some may consider you provocative and will not dare to talk to you unless absolutely necessary. Don't dress vulgarly or too revealingly. Short skirts, deep necklines, and open backs will also be inappropriate. Believe me, your interlocutor will be able to appreciate all the advantages and disadvantages of your figure. Otherwise, you risk becoming the subject of discussion from both men and women. For the former you will be an object of desire, for the latter you will be an object of envy. Therefore, do not give unnecessary reasons to either one or the other.
Men should think about their appearance no less than women. Before an important meeting or event, you should shave, unless, of course, a mustache and beard are part of your image. Excessive facial hair will indicate your untidiness. Clothes must be well-groomed and perfectly ironed. It's worth paying attention to your socks. They can only be plain, without stripes or patterns. The color of the socks must match the color of the trousers. Many people pay special attention to shoes. Therefore, make sure that it is clean and does not look too worn. One of the main accessories for men is a belt. The color of the belt should match the color of the shoes. The belt buckle should not be huge, as this will attract the attention of your interlocutors, and you will wonder why people are looking at your groin area. To avoid such incidents, try to choose a belt that is not too wide and not too narrow. And the main thing is that it is not overtightened and does not bunch up your trousers.

What does the body smell like?

Smells are also of great importance in creating a positive image.
First of all, take care of the pleasant things. Before an important event, try not to eat foods that will “help” you subsequently emit a foul odor. If possible, brush your teeth shortly before the meeting or chew gum for a few minutes.
Now about body odor. The smell of cleanliness and freshness, as well as pleasant eau de toilette and deodorants, are attractive to the human sense of smell. We advise MirSovetov readers to choose the first option. Take a shower before leaving. After all, there is hardly a single person in the modern world who does not accept fresh natural smells. If you still can’t leave the house without sprinkling on yourself a drop of your favorite perfume, remember that the main thing here is not to overdo it. Most likely, there will be those who will not like your smell. And, as a rule, such a person will not be able to stay in your company for long. If you overdo it with the smell, then let it be three times pleasant to the sense of smell of your interlocutors; few will dare to come closer than a couple of meters to you. Surely, at least once in your life in public places you have met people who, as they say, poured half a bottle of perfume on themselves. Remember your unpleasant feelings from being next to this person and try under no circumstances to find yourself in a similar situation.

A smile is a joyful heart

A smile always puts people at ease. You become charming, attractive and seductive. Your friendly facial expression seems to say to your interlocutor: “I really like you” or “I’m so glad to see you.” Smiling people always evoke approval from others and create a positive image. Even if you feel awkward and insecure, think about something positive and try to smile unobtrusively, and you will immediately feel better. But remember: the smile must be sincere. A fake, forced smile will instantly give you away.

Let's strike a pose

Body language can tell a person a lot about you. Pay attention to your posture, facial expressions and gestures. Your back should be straight and even; stooping will reveal your insecurity and... Excessive facial expressions will distract the other person's attention or even irritate them. Sometimes, out of excitement, some people unconsciously begin to wrap their hair around their finger or fidget with improvised objects: a handbag, a napkin, a pen, a scarf, etc. Control it and don't let your emotions get the better of you. Don't get into closed poses. On a subconscious level, they tell the interlocutor that you do not want to communicate or are demonstrating your insincerity. Closed poses include: arms crossed over the chest, cross-legged pose, intertwined feet or ankles, hands locked. Also, an additional barrier can be created by objects that you hold in front of you: a handbag, a booklet, an umbrella, a folder or papers. In this case, your interlocutor may feel that you are trying in every possible way to avoid the conversation.

About eloquent speeches and kind words

Speech must be correct, competent, without negative and ironic words and emotions. Don't allow yourself to talk too much, otherwise you risk boring your interlocutor. But don’t remain silent, as it may give the impression that you are absolutely not interested. Try to guess in advance what questions might be directed at you, and think about what and how you will say. If possible, come up with a few questions that you can ask the other person, or improvise as the conversation progresses. Either way, if you ask relevant questions, you show that you're interested. Readers of MirSovetov should remember that the most important thing for you is to speak the same language with your interlocutors. You need to prepare for almost any meeting: find the necessary information on the Internet, read the press, ask your friends about the issues that will be discussed. Remember, it is important for you to establish contacts. And the surest way to this is to first of all talk about what interests your interlocutors, and not you.
is always welcome, but before you make a joke, think about whether it will be received correctly and whether everyone will appreciate it. Try to look into the eyes of the participant in the conversation, do not look away often and for a long time, do not study the interlocutor with your eyes from head to toe and do not look “through” him. A wandering glance among your listeners should be a signal that you have tired everyone and it’s time for you to “call it a day.” Know how to not only speak, but also listen. Try to demonstrate that you are attentive and receptive to what is being said to you. Don’t interrupt, even if you’re pretty tired of your interlocutor’s speech. To win over the participant in the conversation and gain his trust, try. But do this only if you are sure that your compliment will not be perceived as a lie or sycophancy. Try not to give characteristics to anyone or discuss mutual acquaintances, even if you intend to give a positive assessment. After all, you can just as easily speak negatively about someone. And you don't need a reputation as a gossip.

In addition to the ability to look good and speak beautifully, the psychological component is also important. It happens that a person is beautifully dressed, does not say nasty things or vulgarities, but still somehow repels us. And sometimes we can’t even understand what exactly it is. The famous American psychologist Dale Carnegie outlined a few more simple rules that, if followed, will help people like you. One of them is: “Be genuinely interested in other people.” Often we are used to talking only about ourselves, about our work and about our problems. The correct thing would be just the opposite - listen to the interlocutor, give him the opportunity to speak, show your interest in what he is talking about. Being a good listener in some situations is much more important than being a good speaker. All this will help you build a trusting relationship with him. Most likely, after this, the person with whom you are having a frank or business conversation will be much more interested in resolving your issues.
Dale Carnegie said that “a man’s name is the sweetest and most important sound to him in any language.” It turns out that almost all of us attach great importance to our name. Therefore, in conversation it is better to call a person by name. By doing this, you seem to be encouraging your interlocutor, giving him a compliment, and arousing goodwill on his part. But keep in mind that you should only address a person by name if you probably remember his name. If you address your interlocutor by pronouncing his name incorrectly or completely confusing him with the name of another person, you risk getting into an awkward position. And such a seemingly trifle can put you in a bad light.
Another rule of Dale Carnegie is: “Instill in your interlocutor a sense of his importance and do it sincerely!” It is important for any person to be appreciated. Everyone wants to hear high praise for their actions and actions. Therefore, in a conversation, try to unobtrusively emphasize the achievements of your interlocutor, but in no case flatter. If you follow this rule, you will be able to easily make useful acquaintances and acquire useful contacts.

Rules for “dealing with everyday life”

It is very important for all of us to understand not only those around us, but also ourselves first and foremost. Sometimes it seems to us that people give us the wrong assessment or do not treat us fairly. Think about it, because, as they say, you know better from the outside. And perhaps we ourselves often try to embellish reality. Therefore, the first thing you should know is: always face the truth. The ability to soberly assess a situation and look at things realistically is useful to everyone. Remember with what degree of distrust everyone treats fishermen waving their arms to the side and shouting that they have caught “such a fish!” Therefore, try to call things by their proper names and not embellish what is happening. It happens that some situation makes you ignorant about certain events. Instead of suffering and thinking why everyone around you knows about what is happening, but you don’t, we recommend that MirSovetov readers find out everything from an informed person, try to do it. If the situation puzzles you in some way, do not be tormented by guesswork, but find out everything honestly. Another rule that should not be forgotten is that people always put their own interests first. Basically the same as yours. Therefore, never believe in the sincerity and integrity of others. If a person communicates with you, most likely he needs something from you. If you want to interest your interlocutor, think about how you can help him and what you can offer him. And the last thing to remember is to trust your feelings and sensations. The inner voice very often tells us what to do, whether it is worth going somewhere and whether we need to listen to this or that person. First of all, you need to learn to trust yourself and rely on your intuition, and only then believe what others tell you.

Building harmonious relationships with people is never easy. But if you put maximum effort into it, it is quite possible. Remember, your success often depends on the impression you can make on others. Don’t be fixated on your person, dress modestly and tastefully, smile more often, learn to speak clearly and to the point, think about what is important to your interlocutors, realistically assess the situation, look soberly at the surrounding reality and listen to your inner voice. But the main thing is to try to be natural and behave at ease, don’t have complexes and don’t be afraid. Be confident and people will like you.

We all want to be liked by others. Even if we say the opposite, deep down in our souls there is always a secret desire to make an impression, to catch admiring glances and bask in the attention of friends and acquaintances. It is quite rightly believed that it is charming and sociable people who achieve more in life, who know how to please others, which opens up new opportunities and prospects for them. In this article I want to talk about how to become charming, sociable and interesting to other people.

Is it possible to become charming, or is this an innate quality?

When someone likes us, our souls immediately become lighter, embarrassment and complexes recede, and we simply enjoy the joy of communication. Conversely, if we feel negative, we become tense and stressed, and our mood drops to zero.

However, only a few people have the innate ability to please everyone and everything and become the main favorite and darling in any environment. Anyone can become charming and sociable. It's a lot of work on yourself, but it's worth it. The main thing is not to lose yourself, trying to please others. People sense falsehood, and it’s easy to turn from a coquette or a pleaser into a universal laughing stock. Those who choose this seemingly easy path forget that charm is love, and love for others should start small. With self-love.

To like other people, you have to love yourself

Only when we consider ourselves attractive and accept ourselves for who we are, respect our dreams, desires, ideas, character traits, do we attract others to us. There are no ideal people, and perhaps not everyone will like you, but those who fall under your personal charm will treat you sincerely and with respect.

The main secret of charm is self-love. Charming people do not judge themselves or others. They are open to love. They think about love, and love shows in their every action!
Deepak Chopra

Self-love, self-confidence and sincerity are three qualities that make people like us. In order to strengthen them and begin to attract good people into your life without putting on flattering or flirtatious masks, you can take certain actions. I want to talk about them in this article.

Decide who you are and what you represent. Preferably in writing; thoughts on paper are better structured than in your head. To take action, you must know your pros and cons. Describe your philosophy of life, your attitude towards different things and areas of life, for example, family, friendship, politics, religion, health. Tell us about what you value most in this life, what you dream about and what you have already achieved. , having killed two birds with one stone, decide on yourself and tell other people about yourself.
Don’t adapt to those around you and don’t try to specifically stand out from the crowd. Don't forget, we need sincerity and naturalness! Do as you see fit, not as others like.
Don't sacrifice what really matters to you. If you lose motivation and joy in life, then all the work on yourself will go down the drain.
Trust your instincts and allow yourself to experiment. Learn through experience what things make you and look for them, even if you have to make a few mistakes.
Take others as they are. Stop judging and criticizing people. Pay attention to their positive aspects, not their failures. Learn to communicate with difficult people calmly, not through force.
Listen to people. Just listen and try to understand without interrupting or going off topic. Make it clear that the interlocutor is really interesting to you.
Don't delay in solving problems. If something negative appears in your life, act quickly, solve it one way or another and put it out of your head. Nothing should take you out of your state of inner peace and balance.
If you set out to solve a problem, solve it to the end. Even if you have to make sacrifices, do not delay your decision, be firm and 100% confident.
Lead a healthy lifestyle. Do, eat, which will be beneficial to your body. Don't be a slave to your eating habits and you will really respect yourself for it.
Be active. Never wait for “sea weather”, act, inspire others, invent, create.

Help others. Don’t just listen to their problems, but try to help with advice or action. Don't be selfish and do things for other people, even if it costs you mentally or physically. But this should not contradict the previous points!
Appreciate and support the best qualities in people. See them not only for who they are, but also for who they could be in a better situation. When a person notices that those around him (you, for example) appreciate what he considers a trifle, he becomes happier.
Speak positively and to the point. Encourage, motivate and inspire instead of criticizing or probing.
Stop gossiping. Do not talk about others in a critical tone and do not tell secrets that have been entrusted to you.
Smile and laugh. A smile is the key to the hearts of other people, so try to be less serious, joke more often, tell jokes and stories, and have fun to the fullest.
Ask, but don't complain. If you need something, then, but never try to push for pity. “Attractive” and “pathetic” are antonyms.
Don't make the other person feel guilty. Even if you know that he did not make the best choice, do not try to convince him that now he will have problems and feel bad.
Don't tolerate it if something causes general indignation. You can’t expect everything to come to its senses, you can’t hide and try to remain silent when injustice happens before your eyes. Take action.
In dialogue, do not get personal. If you are running out of sound arguments, it is better to smile and leave, but do not get into a verbal altercation. Perhaps your interlocutor will consider you a coward, but, unlike him, in the eyes of others you will look like a reasonable and calm person.
Offer your help only when asked for it. Do not impose yourself and do not try to solve the problems of others just because you consider yourself to be a greater specialist in some area than they are. Be adequate, otherwise instead of help you may get harm.

Don't judge people by their appearance. Wealth, fame, appearance may mean nothing when it comes to serious life situations. The real value is those who have a good heart and a pure, sincere soul inside. Unfortunately, this does not manifest itself immediately, so learn to understand people.
Don't say yes when you want to say no. It is better to refuse immediately than to agree, and then get out of it and look for excuses. Say “yes” only when you are truly confident in your choice.
If you promise something, then do more than you promised. Of course, you shouldn't overdo it either, but try to go a little beyond your promises and people will appreciate you even more.
In a relationship, do not try to be in charge or dependent. Imposing your opinion, trying to control others - all this only irritates. Relationships with your loved one, family, friends, or just acquaintances should give you joy and lift your spirits.
Be generous. Do not try to rise by belittling or hushing up the merits of others, reward those who deserve it in word or deed.
If you want to become charming, be able to laugh at yourself and admit your mistakes and shortcomings. You know that's not why people love you.
Always be open to new knowledge. Don't flaunt your intelligence and erudition in an attempt to attract attention. Recognize that you are imperfect and you can learn something from anyone.
Don't be selfish when communicating. Instead of talking about yourself to your loved one, listen to others. Don’t teach people to live their own way; your opinion is not the only correct one. Remember – less “I”, more often “you” (“you”).

Give the gifts you need. Don’t try to give a person something that you think will be useful; it’s better to ask what he really needs. And, of course, don’t give a “pacifier” that a person will accept with a smile, and after you leave, throw it on the mezzanine and forget.
Live on the move and strive for the best. If you have achieved a result in something, do not relax or calm down, but move on. The saying “Better a bird in the hand than a pie in the sky” is not true!
Avoid risks and stressful situations. Eliminate from your life everything that stresses and distracts you. In order to be able to collect your thoughts and tune into the right mood, find yourself a place where no one will disturb you.
Live in the moment. There is nothing more valuable in the world than the current moment. The past cannot be returned, the future is not predetermined, you only have what you have now.
Don't try to fight people or situations you can't control. Better put your efforts in some other direction.
Develop yourself. Look for any opportunities for self-development. , communicate, take courses, learn from those around you.
Take for granted the fact that you cannot please everyone without exception. There are a lot of people, and everyone has their own problems, so appreciate those who like you, and just don’t pay attention to others.

In order to become charming and people like you, you don’t need expensive beautiful clothes, fashionable hairstyles and a loose tongue. Remember - first of all, you must love yourself. I hope now you know the whole truth about how to become charming :)

images (from) http://rona-keller.deviantart.com

Jack Schafer spent 20 years as a special agent with the FBI, where he specialized in behavioral analysis. His duties included detecting lies, persuading criminals to confess, and convincing people to cooperate with the FBI. In addition, he often participated in operations during which it was necessary to win over a variety of people as quickly as possible.

Late in his career he taught behavioral analysis to young officers. One day he saw how they used this knowledge to invite girls they liked on dates. After this, Schafer realized that many techniques are universal and can be used by anyone. This is how the book “Turn on Charm Using the Secret Services Method” appeared, in which Jack Schafer talks about how to make friends, please people and turn on charm at the click of a button, without saying a word.

We have selected some of the most interesting techniques.

The Big Three Signals of Friendliness

There are three most important signals of friendliness that we instantly read on a non-verbal level, before even meeting a person.

Head tilt

This is a universal tool to quickly win over a person. On the lateral surfaces of our neck are the carotid arteries. By tilting our head, we open one of them and thus the other person reads this as a sign of affection. By opening the carotid artery, we send a signal to another person: “I do not expect danger from you.”

Eyebrow game

If you take a closer look at people in cafes who are meeting with people close to them, you will see this interesting feature.

When close people see each other, they raise their eyebrows for one-sixth of a second. This is how a person shows joy.

We do this automatically, without even paying attention to it. If you want the other person to be guaranteed to feel your sympathy, then learn to raise your eyebrows.

Smile

A real smile is distinguished by two features: raised cheekbones and wrinkles formed around the eyes. Even if a child smiles, rays still form around his eyes.

During a fake smile, the cheekbones hardly rise and the rays are not visible.

And this is read as a sign that the person cannot be trusted. So the skill of making people like you also lies in smiling sincerely.

Heavy artillery of sympathy

Nonverbal signals are, of course, good, but they are more of a micro-decision. In order to hit your interlocutor with an arrow of sympathy in the very heart, you need more powerful tools. At the same time, trivial ways to win favor, such as tons of compliments, are unlikely to help. This method might work if you want to charm a saleswoman in a sock store, but we're talking about more complicated situations. So, here are seven more clever communication techniques that will allow you to win someone over.

No "please"

Now about some tricks in communication. The best man advises you to forget about the word “please” in response to your gratitude.

It is much more effective, if you were thanked for something, to respond: “I’m sure if you were in my place you would do the same for me.”

This technique appeals to a feeling of reciprocity, and the person will definitely want to repay you with something. After a while, you can safely ask him for a favor.

Rank Up

At one of the government receptions, Shafer met an aspiring Republican Party politician. During the conversation, Jack said that his new acquaintance's manner of communication strongly reminded him of the style of Ronald Reagan. Needless to say, the young man beamed with happiness. He warmed up to Shafer so much that he began to tell him about his family, the college where he studied, and other personal things. Of course, the comparison with Reagan endeared him to his interlocutor.

Whisper

It is believed that the quieter the tone of the interlocutors, the more intimate and close the relationship between them. Who usually speaks in a half-whisper or whisper? Most often lovers, spouses, lovers. Sometimes they whisper secrets to each other. That is why, on a non-verbal level, we read whispers as one of the ways to demonstrate our trust.

One of the options to win over a person is to simply lean towards his ear and whisper something.

Of course, this should be appropriate and within the bounds of decency. If you lean over to the director and whisper to him: “Vadim Petrovich, I want to show you how we renovated the utility room,” this may be interpreted ambiguously.

Isopraxy

Another method is isopraxy. This is what the scientific world calls a technique when we “mirror” the gestures of our interlocutor. And this technique works great because people are always more inclined towards those who are similar to them. Even if it's just the same pose. Let's say if he folds his arms across his chest and you do the same, then you have a better chance of making him like you more. If the interlocutor crossed his legs, do the same. Of course, you shouldn’t go to extremes here either.

Third person compliment

Sometimes direct compliments can be interpreted as flattery. So that the compliment does not “hit directly”, you can make it in the third person.

For example, you met your boss (from whom, by the way, you soon want to ask for a promotion) and casually tell him: “Boris Petrovich, I met the head of the transport department here and he said that your ingenuity helped the company save a couple of million over the weekend. What did you come up with?”

We, of course, do not encourage you to directly flatter your bosses, especially if you love them. The point is to learn how to please people and be a nice person.

Intentional mistakes

When communicating with a person, you can intentionally make some small mistake. Let's say you pronounce a word incorrectly. People always want to look better than they really are. That is why, if you suddenly make a mistake in front of another person, you will a) allow him to relax around you, b) help him show leniency. And people, you know how they love people to whom they are condescending.

The Golden Rule of Friendship

And finally, the most important rule that you need to know if you plan to build deep and long-term relationships. We always like those people next to whom we love ourselves and feel our own exclusivity. So the most important thing we can do is to make our counterpart like himself during communication.

And the easiest way to do this is to show sincere empathy: listen to the person, hear him, show sympathy and respond positively to his words. In general, just being a living person.

MENSBY

4.6

Do you want a girl, a new company or strangers to like you? The ability to make a good impression from the first minutes of meeting and to evoke sympathy among others is the most valuable quality of a modern person. How to please people or a few secrets of communication.

Everyone wants to be liked by others, even those who swear they don't need it. Despite this, many people, throughout their entire life, or part of it, have the feeling that others do not like them. This article aims to start a discussion about what you can do to start getting people to like you - maybe even "right away."

1. Speaking skills

1.1 Be funny, but don't act like a complete idiot. The school clown is usually a pretty popular kid, as is the funny guy who always makes people laugh. Staying truly cheerful is a difficult task, but it is an important step needed to make people like you.

1.2 Remember one rule: People are interested in themselves. The first step to getting people to like you is simple. All you have to do is show that you are interested in them. Talk to others about them. During the conversation, make sure that the conversation is about the interlocutor, and he (s) believes that this is your initiative.

Find out about the interests of the interlocutor(s) and try to collect more information about them. For example, you are talking to someone who says they went mountain climbing over the weekend.

Ask your interlocutor(tsu) about this hobby: “How did you start climbing?” or “What do you like about climbing?” or “Where is the coolest place to climb?”

Questions will lead to answers, so you can ask more questions and build on the conversation from there. In any case, your interlocutor(s) will be impressed that you are so interested in him/her, and will be glad to have the opportunity to talk about topics that concern him/her.

1.3 Talk about positive things. By and large, people want to be happy much more than they want to be unhappy, so it's better to talk about the positive aspects rather than the negative ones. Too much negativity and complaining can put the other person(s) in an awkward position, and sometimes lead to a dead end in the conversation. Instead, focus on sharing happy or positive aspects of your life with other people to enjoy the conversation or build rapport between you.

Tell us what you love to do and show your sincere enthusiasm. Even if your interlocutor knows almost nothing about your hobby, he will be glad if you are happy to talk about it. A good mood is contagious. So, if the person you're talking to knows next to nothing about Tom Ford clothing, then you can make the topic interesting by showing your love for fashion and experience in explaining it to those who are not familiar with the topic.

When you first meet, stay away from "dangerous topics" such as religion and politics. Most people will automatically judge you if it turns out that you have different beliefs in religion or politics, so it's best to save such conversations for a later time.

If you want to share something negative or bad that happened to you, turn it into a funny story. Humor is a great way to instantly make people like you, especially if you can turn any scary or boring story into something fun and exciting. Look at yourself from the outside and find humor in your life. It's okay to laugh at yourself if everyone knows you don't take it seriously.

Develop your sense of humor. Some people are really good at screwball comedy - parody, slapstick and vaudeville. Others have a drier sense of humor, preferring wordplay, sarcastic remarks and cynicism. Find out which type of humor you do best so that you can call it your own.

Find humor in things that others miss. Really good jokes often come from things that are in front of us but missed by others. Pay attention to funny moments that happened to you, write them down or remember them. When the time comes and there is a suitable topic of conversation, you will tell your friends about them.

Don't give up after bad jokes. Some jokes may miss the mark and not be funny. The good thing is that no one ever remembers jokes that aren't funny! People only remember what was funny. While you're feeling down about a bad joke or a missed moment, remember that you'll have another opportunity soon, so don't miss your chance.

2. Look good

2.1 Pay attention to body language. Body language, like any other language, gives signals that other people perceive without even noticing it. Most non-verbal signals pass without our control - this is the subconscious. Learning to recognize your body's non-verbal cues is an important step towards becoming popular.

Never forget to make eye contact during a conversation. The eyes are an incredibly powerful part of our body. Use them correctly! Look into the eyes of the interlocutor(s), this will show that you are passionate about the conversation and interested in him/her. If you constantly look around or at the ground, it suggests that you are distracted or unsure of yourself.

Smile. Simple as two and two. Separate studies have shown that smiling people seem more reliable and that smiling people live longer. Smile with your eyes as if you are really excited about the meeting or conversation.

Try to appear attentive. Make sure it doesn't look like you're being self-absorbed or distracted by other things. When meeting a new person, it is important to show that you are interested in him/her. Before entering the room, cheer yourself up, drink a cup of coffee, or focus in a way that suits you.

Avoid nonverbal cues that convey boredom or lack of interest. Crossing your arms across your chest shows others that you are bored and don’t want to talk. A heavy sigh demonstrates dissatisfaction or disappointment. Shaking your leg means you are in a hurry. A clenched fist is a signal that you are nervous or angry.

Look like a friendly and attractive person. This doesn't mean you have to dress like everyone else. You just need to appear as an open, honest, natural, friendly, outgoing and pure person. This is important because most people evaluate the other person(s) within the first 30 seconds of a meeting.

Maintain good hygiene. Clean hair, well-groomed nails, brushed teeth and a fresh scent will make you more attractive to people around you. Guys, if you decide to wear a beard or mustache, this does not mean that you do not need to take care of it.

Wear good clothes. You don't need to have a model's wardrobe to look good. Stick to a classic, time-tested style rather than a fashionable and vulgar one. It's easy to look good in clothes that never go out of date, so invest in them.

If you have financial problems, then buy one good item of clothing every time you can afford it. Most likely, you will leave it for a long time, and this way you can gradually acquire good things.

3. Go beyond words

3.1 Make your interlocutor(s) feel comfortable. Of course, this all depends on what "comfortable" means to your partner, but a few rules apply here as well. Go the extra mile and make the other person feel special. Everyone wants special treatment during conversations, so take this into account.

Maintain physical contact from time to time. This could be a handshake or even a more intimate greeting. If you come across as a confident, positive person and do not use threatening gestures, then people are likely to respond positively to your attempts to get closer.

In male society, pats on the back are acceptable, while in female society, hugging is acceptable. Be careful when choosing physical contact with the opposite sex: women can send the wrong signal to men with an innocent attempt to be friendly, while men can intimidate women in the same way.

When the situation is right, don't be afraid to flirt a little. People love romantic attention. It makes them feel special. Flirting is a great way to get closer.

Women, when flirting, maintain eye contact with the interlocutor and smile; men flirt with a woman by complimenting her physical features, making jokes, or buying her drinks.

3.2 Be active and enthusiastic. You know what works well for you and what doesn't. Whatever you do, remain an active enthusiast. Let your voice, body and confidence show it off.

Give your voice a lively and pleasant tone. Choose a tone of voice that conveys energy and emotion. (Radio DJs do this very well, although talking like a radio DJ is probably not a good idea.)

Try not to stutter and say "Ah" or "Um" too often. This is a sign of nervousness. If you notice that you begin to stutter frequently, then speak more slowly. Before you say the text out loud, say it in your head first.

Men can try speaking in a low voice if it sounds natural. Studies have shown that men with deep voices are more sexually attractive to women. But don't try to speak in a deep voice if you don't have one. It's better to speak in a quiet, calm voice than to try to turn it into something it's not.

Just be yourself. In conclusion, this is the golden rule for being liked by others. You can change things about you, but you cannot change your personality. You are who you are. And that’s great, every person is special in their own way and this applies to you too.

Let us remember Carnegie, who wrote the following: “A man’s name is the sweetest and most important sound to him in any language.” If you didn’t catch the name of your interlocutor, don’t hesitate to ask again. If this is a telephone conversation, write down his name so as not to accidentally forget. The fact is that when you use any name substitutes, even affectionate or respectful ones, the interlocutor suspects that you simply forgot his name. And you really might forget it, so it's better to be safe. If it is not possible to write down the name of a new acquaintance, use the simplest mnemonic techniques: you probably already have an acquaintance with the same name (and if not, then this is definitely the name of some celebrity), and all you need to do is remember him during a conversation. The situation is more complicated with rare and foreign names, but even here mnemonics will help you: quickly come up with a simple poem, even a completely crazy one, in the spirit of “Li Zhenfan is flying to Kazan” - and you are guaranteed to remember this name later.

Make a mistake

Oddly enough, the easiest way to win over any person is to make a mistake and let him correct you. Usually we do exactly the opposite: we try not to make a mistake under any circumstances, and if we do, we try to pretend that nothing like that happened. And thus we force everyone around to pretend that they didn’t notice anything. At this moment, those around you feel extremely awkward; they do not at all want to continue acquaintance.

But if you make a mistake and allow a person to correct you, you are killing three birds with one stone. Firstly, he feels more confident because his pride is flattered by this situation; secondly, he can communicate with you more freely; and thirdly, he himself is not afraid to make mistakes in front of you.

Compliment your interlocutor in the third person

Sometimes it can be awkward to give a direct compliment simply because there is no suitable reason. In addition, you want the compliment not to be routine, because the banal “You look great today” will not endear you to many people. What to do? Give compliments, but in the third person.

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For example, like this: “Maria Ivanovna, Vasily Petrovich told me that you are the best doctor in our city.” It doesn’t matter whether Vasily Petrovich said it, and it doesn’t matter who he is. The main thing is that this character (quite probably completely fictitious) Maria Ivanovna was openly flattered. It seems like it’s not good to openly flatter your interlocutor, but it’s not you—it’s Vasily Petrovich. But they will remember you as a pleasant person, and not this very Vasily.

Mirror your interlocutor's posture

But carefully. So that he doesn’t feel like you’re imitating him. If your interlocutor is sitting with his hands folded on the table, it is better for you to also put your hands on the table, but a little differently. If he supports his head with his hand, you can straighten his hair, tuck a strand behind his ear, or touch his chin. It works very simply: posture reflects our internal state, and we perfectly read body language, we just don’t realize it. And if you mirror the pose, this is a sign: you feel the same as your new acquaintance. And it is always more pleasant for us to communicate with those who experience the same feelings as us.

Bare your wrists

And show their insides more often. This is a simple bodily signal: you feel safe, you trust your interlocutor, you do not expect anything bad from him. This is captivating.

Sympathize

It is clear that people are most interested in themselves. If you find it difficult to sympathize with a person you know nothing about, you should listen more carefully to him: in fact, we complain all the time. For bad weather, for traffic, for poor health and for the behavior of others. On drowsiness and lack of coffee, in the end. It’s just not customary to focus on this, these are words spoken into emptiness, words that take up awkward pauses. You are expected to simply agree with them. And don’t just agree, but sympathize. Of course, there is no need to rush to the person with consolations - this is not the reason. But say something like “How I understand you!” You’ve had a hard day, it will end soon, hang in there” won’t hurt.

Make your interlocutor praise himself

It's basic, but it always works. Everyone loves to brag about their achievements, and all you have to do is exclaim in time: “Wow! You have to have an iron will to pull this off!” It doesn’t matter what we’re talking about: work, a hobby or losing weight. Most likely, the interlocutor will answer you with something like: “Okay, nothing special,” but will think to himself: “Wow, I’m great!” That's it, it's done.

Ask for a favor

It seems to us that we can win over a person by providing him with some small favor. This works, but not always: if you help a person in an awkward situation, he may avoid further communication simply because it is unpleasant for him to remember his “shame.” But acting as a savior is a completely different matter. President Franklin once said, “He who has once done you good will be more willing to help you again than one whom you have helped yourself.” This phenomenon is known as the Benjamin Franklin effect. A person who shows kindness to another grows in his own eyes, which means he is always ready to continue communication, because this reminds him of how wonderful, reliable and generally a hero he is. The main thing is not to abuse this method, because no one likes dependent beggars, of course.