How to survive the pain in your soul after a breakup. Heartache: causes and healing

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Loving a person, spending years next to him, but suddenly being erased from his life is not an easy test. Such a denouement causes physical and mental torment, and the heart shrinks for a long time from injustice, melancholy and loneliness. Such wounds do not heal immediately - painful attacks sometimes take years to make themselves felt. The question of how to stop worrying about separation from a loved one is especially acute for women who find themselves in an unexpected situation.

There is nothing to be surprised: this part of humanity is genetically determined to find happiness through self-realization in the family. The plans for the future of most girls are correlated with the responsibilities of a wife and the joys of desired motherhood. The disappearance of the object of love, with whom dreams and hopes were associated, no matter due to what circumstances, is perceived as a tragedy. The problem of how to relieve mental pain becomes central during this period.

How to get rid of heartache from love: step by step

The fact that individuals are slower than others to “claw themselves out” from a state of deep sensory shock complicates the matter. It is vital for such people to find peace of mind. And without understanding that the goal cannot be achieved at an accelerated pace, they will not be able to get out of the created conflict. For a long journey, you also need to stock up on fortitude. Nevertheless, for the sake of a renewed self - saying goodbye to illusions and ready for the new - it is worth overcoming all the milestones of this path.

Time heals: give it to yourself

• — . Don’t think about why your soul is so bad - just grieve in a space conducive to light sadness: on a walk, in a quiet room, in the kitchen with a cup of tea.
• - Let disappointment, anger, grief, anxiety and uncertainty about the future pass before your eyes sequentially, stage by stage. Plunge into the sea of ​​emotions, but don't let yourself drown in it forever.
• - If at this phase you have lost interest in everything - even the desire to leave the house, take care of yourself, follow a basic regime - seek the help of a psychologist. A professional will relieve such stress.

Get rid of reminders and help others

• — Tips on how to get rid of the past won’t work if you constantly come across your ex’s things. Rituals for burning bridges are too much. Give your unwanted junk to someone who needs it.
• — Perhaps along the way you will remember about charity and select items that will bring joy to people experiencing need and deprivation. Agree: their sorrows are incomparable to your loss.
• - Move from communicating with comforting friends to the position of a comforter. Try on the role of a comrade and adviser. Start listening, comforting, and lending a helping hand to your neighbors.

Get away from provocations and start recovering

• — Avoid provocative factors: songs that give rise to associations, familiar cafes, photographs in communities. Don’t keep your attention on them, switch to fresh songs and relaxation areas.
• — Use energetic, fiery music, rhythmic dance tunes as a medicine. They will create an endorphin rush and lift your spirits. Dance and move more.
• - Shift from the position of “tired of everything” to a pleasurable chain associated with reading a book, watching a thriller, a concert, a comedy show.

Change your lifestyle and be positive

• - The usual way of life that accompanies your existence together has been destroyed - this is understandable. But that doesn't mean . To cope with mental pain, look for an alternative to your previous activities.
• — You may not need drastic changes. But a pleasant hobby, a trip to another city in a nice company or as a solo tourist is what you need. A change of scenery sets the mood for a different plot.
• — Change your image, engage in personal growth. Feel the reserves hidden in you and give them action. We dreamed of mastering the macrame technique, karate techniques - go ahead. There's plenty of time and you're free!

• - Love yourself - this trait does not repel, but attracts, gives success and gives perseverance.
• — Compassion and helping others is a guarantee that you will never be alone.
• — Make jokes and smile: now you not only know how to live on, but you have someone to support you.
• — Trust people and give them love. A sad experience is not a reason to lose faith in good things. It's not far off.

Mental pain is discomfort that a person feels inside himself, but it is not related to any organ. Therefore, there is no medicine to eliminate this disorder.

The severity of unpleasant sensations is different for all people, as well as reactions to mental wounds. Some, simply, reduce their torment with the help of alcoholic drinks, while others escape from reality on the Internet.

A specialist psychotherapist will tell you how to cope with mental pain with minimal consequences for psychological and physical health. However, not everyone will go to a doctor for help, trying to solve the problem on their own. Thus only aggravating the situation.

Development mechanism

Mental pain is a person’s emotional reaction to a negative change in his usual way of life. Most often, it is preceded by a significant loss - the death of a loved one, betrayal or loss of social status.

A quickly emerging negative emotion is assessed by a person as a significant experience for him - a deep spiritual feeling. It is of great importance for the full formation of personality, being a significant link in psychological activity.

Most experts attribute mental suffering to subjective sensations. However, modern research has made it possible to refute this statement - in the images obtained using magnetic resonance imaging, foci of activation in the limbic system of the brain are clearly visible, as a response to moral trauma.

In addition, severe mental pain can be perceived by a person as psychogenic - felt on the physical level. For example, pain impulses in the area of ​​the heart, head, abdomen. Relationships with somatic pathologies cannot be established, nor can they be confirmed by instrumental examinations. Therefore, no medicine can cope with mental anguish. Only a highly qualified psychotherapist can help.

Causes

Mental anguish can also appear for other reasons:

• a constant feeling of fear - living in a family with an accentuated personality prone to physical violence;
• long-held emotions of anger - highly paid work under the guidance of personally hostile management, when the “tyrant boss” gives directly contradictory instructions, demanding to perform such a volume of duties that one person cannot do it, and as a result, it is formed in conjunction with mental suffering;
• deficiency in the body of certain chemicals - neurotransmitters, which can be expressed by hyperexcitation of brain structures, depletion of their ability to compensate;
• disruption of the endocrine organs, provoking the constant production of anxiety and stress hormones - hyperthyroidism, pheochromocytoma;
• a person’s own fixation on his own troubles - looking at photographs of a deceased close relative, returning to memories of happy moments in the past;
• a subconsciously existing need to receive benefits - mental pain serves only to disguise a person’s selfish motives, the desire to receive material benefits from others or increased attention in response to the demonstrated torment of the soul.

Only a competent psychotherapist can put everything in its place - establish the true reasons for deteriorating well-being and suggest how to get rid of mental pain.

Pain in the soul can also arise due to separation from a loved one. : recommendations of a psychiatrist.

Symptoms

Many people describe their negative emotions and worries this way: for them, mental pain is an unpleasant, intense feeling of constant melancholy and painful internal suffering.

At the peak of psychological discomfort, physical disorders may even appear - asthenia with persistent dizziness, migraines, palpitations and nausea, or sleep disturbances, lack of appetite.

For some people, the mental pain from love, or rather its loss, can even exceed in severity and intensity the sensations from a burn, injury, or broken leg. The situation is also aggravated by the need to hide one’s feelings from others and maintain a “social face.”

Hidden internal processes can result in the following somatic signs and physiological symptoms:

• feeling of pressure behind the sternum;
• fossil somewhere in the area chest, heads;
• unpleasant constant burning sensation, coldness in the chest;
• stitching, pressing impulses in the heart;
• discomfort, spasms in the intestines - the upper or lower abdomen, at a certain point;
• constant presence of nausea - comes in waves or is felt every minute;
• disorders in the cardiovascular system - slowing of the pulse - bradycardia, or its increase - tachycardia, fluctuations in blood pressure parameters.

However, others may not pay attention to the physical manifestations of mental anguish, especially if they are not so clearly demonstrated, while emotional manifestations are more clearly monitored. Depression, depressed mood, apathy, anxiety, lack of interest in all current events, “numbness,” “numbness.”

Sometimes the sensations are so exotic that they can already be perceived as signs of emerging psychopathies - the heart was torn out of the chest, everything inside was torn and bled.

How to deal with pain in your soul on your own

Since people are socially dependent creatures, pain in the soul most often arises due to a break in a relationship with a loved one. An emotional disorder can be so intense that it affects the functioning of internal organs - the heart, nervous system, and gastrointestinal tract.

Mental experiences go through several stages, each of which will have its own emotions. Mental pain after breaking up with a loved one begins with the stage of denial - an unwillingness to understand that the relationship is over. This is expressed in a constant return to thoughts about a loved one and the desire to see him.

Since meetings do not take place, emotions move to the next stage - indignation and hatred. The abandoned soulmate strives to throw out the pain, taking revenge in all available ways. Such actions bring relief, but only for a short time. And only then comes the stage of accepting the breakup, when emotional experiences lose their intensity and decrease.

To speed up the process of psychological recovery after a breakup with a loved one, experts have developed several recommendations on how to relieve mental pain at home:

• switch to other activities - do charity work, join a hobby group;
  visit art exhibitions and film premieres more often with friends;
• accept the separation as a fact and end the relationship, getting rid of all things that may remind you of past events;
• start visiting a fitness center, swimming pool, gym - physical activity not only helps relieve nervous tension, but also gives a feeling of joy and self-satisfaction;
• restore old relationships with old friends and go to visit them - communicating with once familiar, but forgotten people, learning new events in their lives, all this helps to distract yourself and survive mental discomfort.

There is no single scheme for how to survive mental pain - each person has to experience various methods and techniques for dealing with the torment of the soul, choosing the best option for themselves.

If mental suffering occurs in one person or another, it is necessary to carefully analyze the situation and one’s own feelings, and find out what could have caused them. Thus, family grief - the loss of a loved one, divorce, serious illness - require a certain time interval to adapt to new circumstances. There is no need to rush or rush yourself.

Without special skills, many people, having listened to the advice of strangers, try to get rid of mental discomfort, constantly remembering unpleasant events, “sprinkling salt” on the wounds of the soul.

Daily dramatization only aggravates the disorder, and does not relieve the torment. Subsequently, it takes much more time and effort to overcome mental anguish - it is better to just speak out once and try to accept the event in your life as it is.

Some people simply exaggerate their own suffering - they fight with “windmills”. Whereas after reassessing what is happening, you can understand that troubles are completely solvable. They are only part of the complex mechanism of the universe and, against the background of the movement of planets in space, are not at all significant for humanity. By minimizing your own troubles, it is much easier to cope with them.

It is imperative to believe in your own strengths, in the possibility that you will be able to “make friends” with the problem and overcome it. Having spent time carefully studying the situation - together with his best friend, a psychotherapist, understanding what exactly can be done, the person is thereby already taking steps for his mental recovery.

Another direction in the fight against mental discord is to reconsider your lifestyle. Active physical work helps to escape from the bottomless abyss of melancholy and depression - carry out long-planned renovations in the apartment, start attending yoga classes, a swimming pool. You should pay attention to your diet - enrich it with vegetables and fruits, useful microelements and vitamins. Sleep is an equally important component of health. It takes about 8-9 hours for the brain to have the opportunity to calm down and process everyday events.

Helping the soul overcome discord is within the power of every person. You just need to set a similar goal for yourself, and also listen to the opinions of experts in this field.

Sometimes we love a person so much that it leaves deep wounds in our soul. The pain of being rejected is no less than physical pain. And it doesn’t really matter whether your boyfriend suggested breaking up after a long relationship or a new acquaintance refused to go on a date with you. Healing mental wounds is a very long process, but you need to gather your strength and set off on a long journey to a renewed self.

Steps

Part 1

1. Allow yourself to feel sadness. Heart wounds are always painful. You cannot ignore the fact that your experiences are causing you suffering. This means that you must give yourself time to process the emotions that come with heartache. These feelings are how your brain literally tells you how much something has hurt you. There is no need to artificially suppress these emotions in yourself.

   • Create a healing space. You need time and space to process your emotions and give vent to your bitter feelings. When you feel emotional pain, try to find a calm place where you can cope with the wave of emotions that overwhelm you. Sometimes it’s enough to go for a walk, retire to your room, or just make yourself a cup of aromatic tea.
   • When a person experiences mental pain, he goes through certain stages of this process, during which he experiences feelings such as anger, pain, grief, anxiety, fear and acceptance of what happened. Sometimes you may feel like you are literally drowning in your own emotions, but if you can identify exactly how you move through each stage of experience, it will help you go through the healing process easier and a little faster.
   • Try not to drown in your despair. There is a clear difference between simply giving yourself time to process your emotions and being completely overwhelmed by them. If you find that you don't leave the house for weeks, forget to shower, and life seems meaningless to you, you should seek professional psychological help as soon as possible. These are signs that the grief process is too difficult for you to cope with on your own.

2. Live for today. If you want to deal with all your emotions at once and get rid of your heartache immediately, you are probably setting yourself an impossible task. Instead, move from one stage to another gradually, and always live for today.

   • A good way to focus on a specific moment in your life is to try to live for today. When you catch yourself thinking about the past again and again, stop yourself. Look around: what do you see now? what smell do you smell? What color is the sky above your head? what are your fingers touching? is the wind blowing in your face?
   • Don't start coming up with a grand plan to forget the person who broke your heart. On the contrary, if you focus on how to cope with your grief, it will happen on its own.

3. Indifference. When a relationship ends or you're rejected, you'll likely feel like there's suddenly a huge hole inside of you. A huge black hole that absorbs all the happiness from your life. At this point, many people make the mistake of immediately trying to fill this hole with something because they are unable to bear this painful feeling. Yes, this feeling is causing you a lot of pain, and you have the right to feel empty inside.

   • Create a space for yourself where your ex is not present. Delete his phone number and you won't be able to text him when you've had too much to drink. Add him to the “black list” on all social networks, otherwise you will one day find yourself looking at new photos on his account all night long. Don't ask mutual friends how your ex is doing. The more clearly you understand that the breakup is final, the easier it will be for you to heal after it.
   • Don't try to immediately fill the void left by broken love. This is one of the most common mistakes people make when trying to heal emotional wounds. When you try to immediately jump into a new relationship to stop feeling the pain and fill the void left by the previous feeling, it doesn't really help you move through the necessary stages of coping with loss. Your unlived negative feelings will sooner or later return to you, but they will become even stronger and more painful.

4. Tell us about it. You need to make sure you have the right support to help you cope with your heartache. Having strong support from your friends and family, and even your therapist, will help you get back on your feet faster than anything else. Of course, close people will not fill the emptiness that your loved one left in your soul, but they can help you better cope with this emptiness.

   • Find a close friend or relative with whom you can talk about your worries, especially on long, lonely evenings. Try to find a person or people who can provide you with emotional support to make up for the support you received from your partner in the relationship that ended. Ask your friends for permission to call them every time you feel an irresistible urge to talk to that person you are trying to get rid of your feelings for.
   • A journal can be incredibly helpful in this situation. Not only is it a good way to let your feelings out, especially if you don't want to put the burden of your suffering on your friends, but it's also an effective way to evaluate the progress you've made. After re-reading old posts, you will suddenly realize that you now think about your ex much less often or notice that you want to go on dates again (In reality, and not just “to fill the emptiness inside left by broken love”).
   • Sometimes you may need to talk to a psychologist or psychotherapist. There is no shame in seeking professional help!

5. Get rid of things that trigger memories. If you constantly stumble upon objects that bring back memories of a past love, this will only slow down your healing process. You shouldn't keep the old lounge pants that your ex usually wore after work in the closet; get rid of this trash.

   • There's no need to ritually burn anything that reminds you of your past relationship, especially if those things can be given to people who need them. But you should definitely remove these things from your life, one way or another. Additionally, depending on how bad your breakup was, ritually burning things can release a barrage of feelings that were previously locked away in your heart.
   • Take a thing and try to remember what exactly you associate with it. Then imagine putting those memories in a balloon. When you get rid of something, imagine that the ball flies far, far away, and will never bother you again.
   • If you still have valuables in good condition, you can donate them to charity. In this case, you can imagine how much joy this thing will bring to the new owner.

6. Help other people. If you start helping others, especially those who are experiencing the same feelings as you, you can take your mind off your own worries. It also means that you are not drowning in your own misery and self-pity.

   • Take time to listen to your friends and help them if they are having difficulties. Don't focus only on your own heartache. Tell your friends that they can always count on you to listen to them and help them if they need it.
   • Do volunteer work. Find a job at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. Offer your help at rehabilitation centers or shelters for homeless animals.

7. Give free rein to your imagination. You will imagine your ex coming back to you and talking about how stupid he was for letting you leave. You can imagine in detail how you hug and kiss this person, imagine your intimacy in detail. Such fantasies are absolutely normal.

   • The more you try to stop your imagination, the more often such thoughts will come to your mind. When you try not to think about something, especially if you have imposed this strict limitation on yourself, in fact, you only think about it all the time.
   • Set aside special times when you allow yourself to fantasize, so you don't spend all your time in an imaginary world. For example, you can give yourself 15 minutes a day during which you can think about how your ex dreams of getting back together with you. If these thoughts come to your mind at another time, put them aside until the time allocated for fantasies arrives. You don't refuse to think about it, you just put these thoughts off until later.

   Part 2

   Beginning of the healing process

   1. Avoid anything that triggers memories. If you have already gotten rid of all the things that trigger memories, as described in the first part of the article, this will help you avoid such moments. However, there are other things that you should keep in mind. Of course, you won't be able to avoid them completely, but at least try not to look for them on purpose. This will help you recover faster.

      • The occasion could be anything from a song that played on your first date to a small cafe where you spent so much time together studying for exams. It could even be a smell.
      • You may encounter this even when you don't expect it at all. If this happens, determine what exactly triggered your memories, and what kind of memories this factor caused. Then try to switch to something else. There is no need to dwell on these feelings and memories. For example, when you come across a photo of you together on Facebook, admit to yourself that you feel sad and regretful because of it, and then try to think about something positive or at least neutral. You might think about the new dress you'll wear tomorrow, or how it would be nice to get a kitten
      • This doesn't mean you should go out of your way to avoid these evocative moments. You won't be able to do this. All you need to do is just try to avoid encountering things that traumatize you and make you regret the past. You need your mental wounds to heal.

   2. Good music will help you heal faster. It has been proven that music can have a therapeutic effect and help speed up the healing process. Listen to upbeat, energetic songs. Scientific studies have shown that when you listen to such music, your body releases endorphins, which help you perk up and overcome stress.

      • Try not to include sentimental, romantic love songs. This type of music will not help the release of endophins in your brain. On the contrary, such songs will only increase your sadness and stir up emotional wounds.
      • When you find yourself feeling sad again, it's time to turn on some upbeat music to perk up your spirit. If you turn on dance music, you can simultaneously get endorphins from listening to upbeat music and from energetic dance moves.

   3. Take your mind off your heartache. Once you've gotten past the initial stage of giving yourself space to grieve and deal with your emotions, it's time to take your mind off the unpleasant thoughts. When you start thinking about your ex, do something, try to switch your thoughts to something else, come up with some new activity, etc.

      • Call those friends who said you can always count on them if you need help. Read a book you've been wanting to read for a long time. Turn on a funny comedy (and get the added bonus that laughter helps you heal).
      • The more you do to stop thinking about your ex and your mental anguish, the faster you will feel better. Of course it's difficult. It is very difficult to control your thoughts all the time and monitor how much time you spend thinking about your mental pain.
      • Try not to get carried away with "painkillers." It could be something that allows you to stop feeling pain for a while. Sometimes you really need something to give yourself a break from the heartache. However, be careful that these types of distractions do not harm you, especially in the beginning when you need to learn how to cope with negative experiences. Such a “painkiller” can be alcohol or drugs, but it can also be continuous viewing of TV shows or constant presence on the Internet. Or even foods you eat just to make you feel calmer.

   4. Change your lifestyle. One of the problems that faces you is that the usual way of life that was formed when you were together has suddenly been destroyed. If you start doing something new and change your routine, it will open the door to new habits. There will no longer be room in your new life for the person who broke your heart.

      • You don't have to radically change your life to break old habits. Do simple things, for example, go shopping on Saturday morning instead of lying in bed; Try listening to a new style of music or discover a new hobby, such as karate or flower gardening.
      • Try not to make drastic changes in your life before you have carefully weighed the pros and cons. Especially try to avoid drastic changes in the beginning, immediately after a breakup. If enough time has passed and you want to show that you are really changing, then it's time to get something like a new tattoo or shave your hair bald.
      • If you have the opportunity to take a short vacation, go on a trip. Even taking a weekend trip to a new city can help you gain a new perspective on what happened.

   5. Don't hinder your own healing. Of course, relapses happen from time to time when you are trying to recover from a failed relationship. This is normal, this is also part of the healing process. But there are some things that you can anticipate and thereby prevent them from setting you back in your movement towards a new life.

      • Pay attention to the words you usually use. When you say: "Monstrous!" or “Terrible” or “Nightmare!”, you continue to see the world in black. This creates negative thinking. If you can't think positively, try to at least stick to neutral expressions. For example, instead of saying, “It's over forever!”, say, “This breakup was very painful for me, but I will do my best to get over it.”
      • Try not to embarrass yourself. You don't need to drive past your ex's house every evening and see if he has found a mate. Try not to call or text your ex while you've been drinking. Things like this only stop you from moving forward.
      • Remember that everything changes in this world. Your feelings today will be completely different in a week, month or year. We promise that a time will come when you will be able to calmly remember this period of your life without experiencing pain.

   Part 3

   Accept what happened

   1. Stop blaming. An important part of your healing and acceptance of what happened is to understand that it is not helpful to blame yourself or another person. What happened is what happened, so you can't do or say anything to change what happened, so what's the use of blaming.

      • Try to find good feelings towards the other person. No matter what he did or didn't do, try to find compassion in your heart for him and what is happening to him. This doesn't mean you have to forgive him immediately, it just means you stop being angry with the person.
      • On the other hand, don't blame yourself for everything. You can acknowledge and reflect on what you did wrong in previous relationships, and promise yourself that you won't repeat past mistakes in the future. But don’t waste time agonizing over your own mistakes over and over again.

   2. Feel when you are ready to move forward. It takes different amounts of time for people to heal from heartache. It is impossible to name a specific period of time that you will need, but there are signs by which you can determine that you are moving in the right direction.

      • You no longer worry if you find several missed calls on your phone from an unfamiliar number.
      • You have stopped picturing the scene of your ex returning to you and on his knees begging you for forgiveness.
      • You have stopped finding associations with your life in films and songs about unhappy love. You notice that you now like to read and listen to things that have nothing to do with this topic.

   3. Try to understand who you really are. There is one thing that usually goes unnoticed while you are in a relationship with someone and during the first stages of grief after the relationship ends. This is the ability to be yourself. For a long time, you felt like you were part of a couple, and then someone who was grieving a lost relationship.

      • Work on your personal development, both external and internal. Play sports or change your appearance. These things are great for boosting your self-esteem, which may have suffered during a breakup. Determine which aspects of your personality you need to work on. For example, if you tend to be passive aggressive when you're feeling down, try to work on finding healthier ways to express your anger.
      • Develop character traits that reflect your uniqueness. When you're spending all your time with another person or trying to cope with the aftermath of a breakup, you tend to pay less attention to your personal interests. Try to restore relationships with people with whom you did not have enough time to communicate during the relationship and after the breakup, and again do what you are truly interested in.
      • Try something new. This can help you meet new people who have never met the person who broke your heart. Learning new things can help your brain take its mind off the heartache and start living in the present.

   4. Try not to return to the past. You don't want to interfere with the healing process from your emotional wounds, so don't do anything that will trigger your mental suffering again. Sometimes this cannot be avoided completely, but you can try to minimize the risk.

      • Don't let this person come into your life too quickly, or at all. You will only irritate your own mental wounds and feel your misfortune with the same acuteness. Sometimes it's impossible to remain friends with your ex.
      • If you do do this, don't despair. The work you have done to heal from emotional wounds has not been in vain. You will still win. Do not give up. When it comes to relationships, everyone has experienced relapses of heartache in one way or another.

   5. Do what brings you joy. When you engage in activities that bring you joy and happiness, you cause dopamine levels to rise in the brain. This is a chemical that helps a person feel happy and fight stress (its level after a breakup can rise to critical levels).

      • Do things that don't bring up memories of your ex. Start doing something new or pick up hobbies you gave up while you were in a relationship.
      • Learn to be happy. People are more willing to associate with those who are happy because happy people help others feel happy too. Of course, you can't force yourself to feel happy all the time, but try to do things that bring you joy and live a life that makes you feel happy.
   • Continue to love yourself, even if it seems overwhelming. In the long run, it will make you stronger.
   • By helping other people, you are helping yourself. Give people good advice and don't show negative feelings.
   • A good joke will make you laugh even in these difficult times. Even if it seems inappropriate to have fun at such a moment, laugh - and life will become a little happier!

   Warnings

   • Don't rely solely on our advice. If you feel like you are getting worse, consider maybe you need professional psychological help.
   • There is no need to harm yourself, even if you feel like you have lost the love of your life.

Instructions

The first thing you want to do is forget everything and run away. But the method of “buying a trip to the sea or a ticket to the village to visit your grandmother” is far from the best. It will give only immediate results. And then you will still need to return home to the real world. And then pain It will only get sharper. Everything in normal life will remind you of pain - the memory was muted for a short time. And upon her return, she will again capture the heart.

To get rid of pain, you need to name its cause. Speak it out loud clearly. Or write. The main thing is to realize. This may require an interlocutor - it could be a best friend or a psychologist. If pain caused by the loss of a loved one, you need to figure out what hurts in leaving pain most of all? This could be fear or guilt. If a loved one has left you, you need to understand what really happened as a result of his departure: lost confidence in the future or wounded pride.

Now you can begin to get rid of what reminds you of the cause of your mental pain. Remove for a while or completely throw away photographs and belongings of the person who is the source of pain. Or communicate less with him if he is still present. If the source of mental pain is, then do not read articles on professional topics, avoid communicating with colleagues.

When the reason is named and realized, there is nothing that can remind of it, and the emptiness in life is filled with a favorite activity, you can say: “I am starting a new life in which there is no place for mental pain.” And start enjoying every day. Look for a way to do this. This could be a loved one heard on the radio, a conversation with a loved one, a chocolate bar eaten at night, a walk in the rain barefoot and without an umbrella, buying a new dress or tie. There are many reasons for joy. There are many of them pain There are more than reasons to be sad! And every new day is a powerful pill against mental pain.

Helpful advice

Do not expect instant results, and do not mistake the first relief for recovery.

With physical pain, everything is simple: there are painkillers, there are doctors. But what if your soul hurts?

Instructions

There can be many reasons for mental pain. We get offended, engage in self-criticism, worry about family and friends, encounter rudeness and betrayal - and the body reacts to all this with acute, piercing pain, hotly spreading through all tissues, aching, piercing, which makes you want to scream. It seems that it cannot be relieved, only after a while the pain will dull a little and it will be possible to forget about it for periods.

In fact, it is possible to cope with mental pain. Oddly enough, the usual painkiller that we take for headaches, for example, can help. If you can’t stand it, you can take a painkiller tablet and a mild sedative, for example, motherwort or valerian. If possible, wrap yourself in a blanket, drink herbal tea (chamomile, mint, sage, raspberry leaves, strawberry tails - choose what you prefer) and sleep. Sleep is good medicine.
This is not a panacea, and the pain, of course, will not go away immediately, like a click, but it will give you the opportunity to soberly assess the situation. Unfortunately or fortunately, we cannot explain the motives for other people’s actions. Therefore, there is no need to try. Don't get hung up. Yes, an event occurred that we took to heart; a loved one hurt or offended us, or our own unworthy act haunts us. But the situation has already developed this way. And we must accept her as she is. Don't look for reasons or someone to blame.

Accept the pain and let it be, cry if you want, don’t hold back your tears. “After despair comes peace,” said the great Anna Akhmatova. Try it, it will become easier.
When a void is formed, it requires immediate filling - this is the law of physics. An evening with friends, a celebration in honor of a good day, organized with children, no matter how trivial it sounds - shopping, without even leaving home, will help you take your mind off and have fun.

Draw, sculpt, bake pies, cook borscht, shoot, go to the forest for a week, in company, with tents, visit a theater or exhibition - ask yourself what you want right now. Talk about the pain, even on a piece of paper - take a pen and write what you feel.

And don’t expect everything to pass soon - emotional wounds take a long time to heal. Just remember that life is wonderful, no matter what happens in it. There is always a way. If, despite all efforts, the pain is still unbearable, you can seek help from a specialist - a good psychologist will give advice that is suitable for a particular person in a particular situation.

Head pain may be a symptom of a serious illness or a consequence of fatigue and stress. You can improve your well-being with the help of pills, herbal remedies and alternative medicine.

Instructions

Determine the nature and cause of the headache. If the problem is overexertion or fatigue, you can try to recover on your own. If the painful condition is accompanied by nausea and vomiting, persists for three days or more, or is the result of a head injury (including a concussion), you should consult a doctor.

Try to relax, lie on your back, create twilight in the room and open the window to provide fresh air. If possible, try to be quiet for at least a few hours. Using light circular movements, massage the temporo-parietal part of the head, and carefully go through the hair with a massage brush.

If the pain is not severe, try to do without medications. They have mass, cause and act for a short time, albeit quickly. Also, do not take (you can rinse your mouth with cognac without swallowing it if you know that the headache has developed due to blood pressure) and do not smoke. If you are hypotensive, drink a cup of coffee; if not, herbal tea with valerian, sage or peppermint.

Use proven methods. Apply a lemon peel to your right temple and hold until the skin burns slightly. Or apply a gauze bag with rye bread soaked in table vinegar to the sore spot. Drink a glass of warm milk with a quarter teaspoon of soda mixed in it. A proven remedy for relieving headaches is also ordinary black tea: you need to brew it, stir a teaspoon of sugar in a glass and drink slowly, then go to bed. If you are suffering from overexertion, you can add mint to your tea.

Take a bath with aromatic oils of lavender, mint, pine, sage, eucalyptus, wormwood, and chamomile. Mix four to eight drops of one of these oils with a tablespoon of olive oil or milk and pour into cool bath water. If a bath is not available to you or is contraindicated, drop some essential oil on a cloth and apply it to your temples for a minute, or simply apply a cold compress to your head.

Use acupressure techniques: with a certain skill, they can relieve headaches in a matter of minutes. On your left hand, find a point between your widely spread thumb and index finger, straight ahead, and apply pressure to that spot for thirty seconds using two fingers of your right hand.

Sources:

• Headaches in 2019

When you experience physical pain, the solution is obvious - you turn to someone who prescribes the necessary treatment for you, and the unpleasant sensations recede. The situation with mental pain is much more complicated. People rarely turn to a psychotherapist in moments of despair, but are increasingly trying to drown out their feelings on their own.

Instructions

Most people try to drown out mental anguish with alcohol. It might help if you spend one evening with your best friend, drinking wine and discussing your problem. The next morning after intimate conversations you should feel better. However, if you carry out such “treatment” regularly, another problem will be added to your problem - the problem of alcoholism.

Play sports. During exercise, endorphin is produced - the hormone of joy, and rhythmic, repetitive actions help to distract from worries. In addition, after regular workouts, your figure will improve, which will also improve your mood.

Change your surroundings. Take a vacation and go to a resort where you have long dreamed of visiting. If you don’t have this opportunity, go to another city for the weekend. Do everything to get new experiences that will drown out the mental pain and distract you.

Why do people suffer from mental pain? Mental pain is a feeling of melancholy and suffering that a person experiences for certain reasons. This disorder should not be neglected; it can be much more dangerous than known physical diseases. Mentally ill patients may experience disruptions in the functioning of internal organs. This already threatens with bodily illnesses. Therefore, it is necessary to think about how to cope with mental pain as early as possible.

This disease is similar to, because it appears in a person as a result of an unpleasant event in life, or because of worry about another person. Every person can suffer such pain if their expectations are not met. A person forms certain patterns of life in his brain, and if reality does not coincide with them, then emotional suffering appears. Quite often, people suffer from mental pain, hiding it from their loved ones and friends.

Fighting heartache

The patient can deal with pain in several ways. So, mental pain can move from a person’s consciousness to his subconscious. It exists, but man avoids it. The release of mental pain is possible when a person demonstrates his emotions and feelings. But this does not mean that he becomes aggressive or irritable. A person seeks salvation from illness in his loved ones and friends. For example, if a person had a quarrel with his soulmate and he experienced mental pain, then he can only get rid of it by communicating with this person.

But with subconscious mental pain, everything is more complicated. The person does not recognize a mental disorder, he says that everything is fine with him. He confirms this not only to those around him, but also to himself. Such pain is much worse than conscious pain, it is more difficult to cope with, because it is hidden deep in a person’s subconscious.

The fight against hidden mental pain is quite difficult; a person can have it for several years. It negatively affects the character of a person who begins to communicate with people like himself. Also, he may not even meet new people or avoid contact with old acquaintances.

Mental pain does not allow a person to study, work or do his favorite thing normally. At such moments, a person often does not even understand what is going on. It happens that certain events force a person to remember an unpleasant life situation that has long caused him emotional distress. If the patient is unable to bring emotions out and get rid of them, then it is necessary to turn to a psychologist or a loved one who can listen to everything.

Emotional distress after a breakup

It's no secret that after breaking up with a loved one, severe and long-term emotional distress can occur. In some cases, it is as severe as the stress after the death of a loved one. Breaking up brings mental pain that can torment a person for months and even years. All this time, the patient will experience stages of denial, indignation and pain.
Emotional experiences after a breakup begin with a stage of denial. At first, a person simply does not understand or does not want to understand that his relationship with his loved one has come to an end. This happens on a subconscious level, and the person simply does not realize the breakup.

A person suffers greatly due to the fact that he will never be with his soul mate. When he accepts this harsh reality, he will get a chance to get rid of mental pain. But such understanding does not come immediately. The duration of the experience directly depends on the duration of the relationship. To bring this moment closer on your own, you need to get rid of all objects and even contacts with people that are reminders of the relationship.

The next stage of mental pain from breaking up with a loved one is the stage of indignation and even hatred. A person who has been abandoned tries by all means and means to take revenge on his ex, to bring him maximum inconvenience. But such radical measures, as a rule, occur as a result of a scandalous breakup, for example, after infidelity. Resentment occurs because it is difficult for a person to blame himself for the breakup. It is much easier to blame your ex for all the sins.

The stage of indignation is characterized by the fact that a person focuses exclusively on negative emotions, which has an extremely bad effect on the prospect of a quick recovery. Also, a person often thinks about how much he could have done during this time, rather than spending it on relationships. There is a feeling of loneliness for your future, and even denial of new relationships.

When your soul hurts, you don’t need to restrain yourself from loud suffering and even tears. They make it possible to quickly cope with the pain in the soul. There is nothing scary or shameful about this, because even scientists have proven that tears make it possible to quickly relive and forget the problem. Many people who didn't want to break up continue to contact their ex, and even ask him to start over. And if that person does not agree, then there is no need to insist on your own, because this leads to even greater suffering and memories of a happy past. This will significantly slow down mental recovery.

It's no secret that in most cases, women find it much more difficult to cope with separation. This can be explained quite simply, because for them love comes first in life, while for a man the main thing is work. Therefore, men are not so focused on this problem and find it easier to replace their ex.

Of great importance in the fight against such experiences is the ability to switch to another topic, for example, doing something you love or developing your personality. But if this doesn’t help, and the mental pain has been going on for a year or even more, then it’s better to turn to a psychologist.

How to relieve severe mental pain?

Severe mental pain is not at all like physical pain, because it manifests itself in suffering. And they, in turn, lead to a loss of meaning in life for a sick person. Mental experiences are accompanied by melancholy, loneliness, shame, guilt, and fear of future problems.

In order to relieve severe mental pain, it is necessary to understand its root cause. For example, if such a reason is a certain person, then you need to work on your relationship with him, and not extinguish your emotions. If there is no understanding on his part, then you need to avoid him, even if this leads to dismissal. Finding a job is much easier than restoring the body from the effects of stress.

After a difficult breakup, emotional distress can last up to one year. It is necessary to start a new relationship after this period, so as not to step on the rake twice. The mental pain from a person’s illness or death must be passed through and accepted reality as it is.

It is necessary to understand that the negative event has already ended. You need to go through a period of pain and plan your future life taking into account this negative situation. You can meet someone who is experiencing a much greater disorder. This will help you understand that the situation is not so difficult; other people have it much worse. A proper daily routine and exercise will help you overcome mental pain faster.