When starting to date girls, guys make the same mistakes due to their inexperience. It would seem that what could be easier than calling and making an appointment? But for some reason, the reaction on the other end of the line turns out to be completely different from what you expect. The girl doesn’t remember you and isn’t particularly in a hurry to go on a date. And if he agrees, then when you meet you turn out to be complete strangers to each other. To prevent the situation from getting out of control, you need to know how to increase interest in yourself.
Unusual approach when meeting people
In order for a girl to remember you and want to meet you quickly, your acquaintance must be special. Avoid banal words and phrases. There should be a lot of questions in her head that she shouldn't get answers to right away. That is, your main task is to intrigue and play on her curiosity. For this reason You shouldn’t delay the exchange of contacts: your meeting should be a bright, short flash. The more boring your future girlfriend’s life is, the easier it will be to interest her.
Ways to intrigue a girl
Tell her that you know something about her that she is hiding. Another option is to promise to show her something unusual. Breaking off thoughts halfway also works great for developing interest. Start telling something animatedly, and then abruptly get ready and leave your companion. Lack of information will cause her to keep coming back to you in her thoughts., fantasize and finish drawing.
Use non-standard answers to her questions
Every question she asks is an opportunity for you to intrigue her. Let's say she asks how old you are. You can, of course, just name the number, or you can say: “How much do you think? Promise me that if I tell you, you will do something for me.” If she asks again what exactly she should do, do not reveal this terrible secret to her for the time being. Conduct the dialogue easily, turning everything into a game so that the girl does not feel tension. When she accepts your rules, consider it a done deal..
So, Make it a rule never to answer your interlocutor's questions directly. Every question left unanswered creates a lot of guesses in a person’s head, which simply inflate curiosity to incredible proportions.
Latest secrets
Communication with a girl should be intimate: you keep everything secret, but there should be trust in the conversation. Another prerequisite for developing interest is your unpredictability. To do this, you need to understand a little about female psychology: find out what kind of attitude the girl is used to, and do exactly the opposite. Breaking out of the pattern is the most powerful way to increase interest in yourself.
Man is a social creature. Positive attention, kind attitude, and genuine interest from other people are extremely important to us.
It’s no secret that it’s always a pleasure to communicate with an interesting person, get acquainted and make friends, which means that there is a clear benefit from your own attractiveness.
For all our readers, we publish a number of useful tips on the website that will allow you to change your life by introducing more activity, positivity and meaning into it.
It’s never too late to improve yourself, and even small changes can disrupt a boring and established way of life, adding:
- positive emotions
- useful experience
- pleasant impressions
- success and efficiency
- new acquaintances, friends and comrades!
Increasing interest in yourself: what to do
1. Be interested in new things
Everything new that can be discovered should attract the attention of an interesting and developing person. You can start moving in this direction:
- visiting a new restaurant, gym, store, library or cinema;
- taking up a new interesting hobby (photography, yoga, cooking, etc.);
- by performing new and unusual actions, and so on.
Innovations that we encounter for the first time provide new experience, expand our horizons, and provide new knowledge and skills.
There is no need to be afraid of change! behavior, adding novelty to it.
2. Share new products and news
Generosity is a unique quality that brings joy to both parties. Share new discoveries and achievements, tell your friends about new hobbies and experiences. Perhaps in your further journey to self-improvement you will no longer be alone!
A person who talks about news and innovations every day becomes a sensation himself.
3. Take action
You can read hundreds of books about self-development, but still not get off the couch to take a specific action - the first step. Inaction is the worst enemy of a person who sincerely wants to develop and enjoy life.
You don't have to think long and hard about your aspirations, just do it. Forget about the negative, fill your life with new interesting and bright events, new actions and habits. Don't waste time in front of TV screens, live an active, active and useful life. Rejoice yourself and give joy to others.
Make it a rule: to do at least one new action “today” that did not happen “yesterday”.
4. Accept yourself
We are all individual and unique, and there is simply no time for self-criticism and lynching. Accept yourself along with all your habits, quirks, preferences and views on the world.
Our mistakes and shortcomings will forever remain ours, and there is no point in reproaching ourselves “for spilled milk.” Assess the situation objectively - there are NO ideal people without quirks!
Turn any deviations from generally accepted standards of society into your own dignity, emphasizing the individuality of your person. And move on!
5. Discard indifference and inertia
If we aim for people's sincere attention and interest, we will inevitably have to come to terms with their oddities and problems. Show understanding, provide help and support to people who need it. Don’t be indifferent, because if you are not interested in others, then how can you count on the return feelings?
Develop in yourself all the qualities except indifference, indifference and soullessness.
6. Reduce overconfidence
A person for whom “I” is more important than “YOU” or “YOU” is initially uninteresting and unsympathetic to others. Inflated self-esteem, boundless ego - those aspects of character that repel people. Learn to listen, understand, empathize and help with action, instead of admiring yourself and your “swamp”.
Be open to people, control your emotions and words, be natural and genuine in everything you do. Don't try to be better than others in words, prove it with deeds, and teach those around you.
7. Don’t be “like everyone else”
It takes courage to openly express your own opinion and be able to back it up with facts. This does not mean that you need to “swim against the tide.” A little independence, individuality and originality will only attract the attention of others, and this is the first step to interest.
8. Avoid whiners and bores
Such people will certainly tell you (and provide a lot of evidence) that the world is very bad and nothing can be done, so there is nothing to start with. But where is the benefit of such communication for you personally?
It is much better to surround yourself with those who share your aspirations and endeavors, who are trying to make changes in their own lives and share their experiences with others. People from whom you can learn are truly invaluable, because... They provide assistance completely free of charge to everyone who is ready for change and self-development.
Assess your surroundings. Is there a person in him who is not afraid of defeats and failures, who is moving towards his dream, who is full of strength and desire, and most importantly, acts? If not, then you have every chance to become the first interesting and active person among your friends, relatives, comrades and colleagues!
Inspiration and the desire to do something are a resource just like energy, and they can be managed. If you stop wanting something from life, most likely your source of energy has dried up and needs reinforcement. Here are five ways you can do this.
I’ll say right away: I don’t know what to do for those who, in principle, never wanted anything. Probably agree with Artemy Lebedev’s proposal: “How to motivate yourself? No way. Stay in the ass." Or go to a psychotherapist to rule out signs of depression. The problem of someone who cannot make up their mind and falls into a stupor as a result was solved by Barbara Sher. Read her book “What to Dream About” if you feel potential in yourself, but don’t know where to put it. Or “I refuse to choose” - it is for those who are torn between several activities at the same time.
I am writing this article for everyone else: for people who set goals, achieve them, sometimes score and set others. And they worry if the time of life is not filled with something meaningful. And, probably, this article is for people who are busy with something pleasant to them. Otherwise, the answer to the question “Why don’t I want anything?” obvious (if it’s still not, then here it is: because you can’t want what you don’t want).
What you need to know about inspiration and energy
The problem is that even your favorite job or hobbies cannot inspire you all the time. Stagnation still occurs from time to time. For example, it hits me once every few months: at such moments I don’t feel like opening a book, let alone languages, dancing and enthusiasm at work. Over the last year I have been trying to explore this feature. I created a table, I note in it the ups and downs for each lesson, I look for patterns. I haven’t found the algorithm yet, but I have identified general principles and learned to use them. And I share it with you.
The first thing I realized is that you can equate inspiration and motivation and think of them as energy. This is unscientific and unfounded, but convenient because it actually illustrates the same thing - the internal resource through which we move forward. Sometimes I think in the same terms about willpower. I like the theory of American psychologist Roy Baumeister, which Kelly McGonigal described in the book Willpower. It sounds like this.
For self-control, the brain needs mental energy, and if you cannot gather yourself, then you need to restore your strength.
Why don't you want anything
So, let's say our desire to do something is related to the amount of energy. When there is a lot of energy, there is enough interest for at least one of the regular activities. (By the way, if you know how to expand your “flow” so that there is enough for several at once, or know someone who does, please let me know.) Daniel Brownie in the book suggests working out and doing breathing or meditation practices, but there are probably and other ways.
Energy is a fickle resource; we either give it or receive it. And if you don’t have enough energy to do what you love, even though you just had it, you’ve wasted your supply along the way.
Here's what could have caused this to happen.
Lack of system. I quickly get exhausted if I take on one thing or another, but when I work through the to-do list and check off the boxes, I feel a pleasant tone (in fact, it’s thanks to endorphins).
Communication with some people. Dangerous categories of citizens are manipulators, whiners and aggressors. But if you are an introvert, you may be “de-energized” by communication in general and even by commenting on other people’s posts on social networks.
Stress. Daniel Brownie advises how to prevent him from drinking away his internal resources. Several exercises from the book “The Source of Energy” and other books on the topic that will help you “recharge” are in the article.
Consuming meaningless information. Personally, after 10 minutes on Facebook I feel like I’m in a swamp. The advice to “only follow inspiring people” is not a panacea. You still can’t hide from posts about packing for vacation, dog vaccinations and new kindergartens. For the same reason, I follow almost no one on Instagram and am not interested in the lives of stars, although it would be useful for work.
An activity you don't like. There are two options here: either learn to have fun despite everything, or not invest emotionally.
General fatigue and lack of body care- poor nutrition and sleep, lack of physical activity.
If you observe how you feel, you will find several more activities that drain resources. My personal beacon is a feeling of irritation. When everything suddenly boils inside me, even though nothing bad seems to have happened, it means that I am busy with something devastating.
What to do about it?
Now to the question “Why don’t I want anything?” there is an answer: “Because there is not enough energy.” I don’t know how true it is, but this answer is good for two reasons: it shuts up the inner critic and tells you what to do next. So what? Firstly, to neutralize the destructive factor, and secondly, to restore the resource. Here are some ways to recharge.
Rest. The most obvious way. There are no universal tips here like “get enough sleep,” “go to an exhibition,” or “take a walk in the park,” because everyone has their own methods. Personally, lately this has restored me: on a day off, sit on the sofa, surround yourself with three different books, a laptop, a tablet, a German textbook, a notepad for writing down ideas and making lists.
Switch from one activity to another at the first sign of boredom. A few hours of such chaos - and that’s it, I’m ready for something structured.
Sport. In the process, endorphins are released, and as a result, you always see changes, even small ones. They provoke a surge of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that makes us strive for a goal and is strongly associated with the motivation mechanism. It is precisely his bursts that are felt as bursts of inspiration.
Get ready for pleasant changes. Dopamine is produced from everything new. That's why it's so nice to go shopping, dream, promise yourself to start a new life on Monday or plan. And this, as you understand, involves many different activities. For example, I “charge” in a fabric store or on Asos, in a bookstore near a shelf with language textbooks.
When I watch videos of Irish dancing champions, study beautiful apartments, fashionable looks or figures of ballerinas on Pinterest, listen to music to which I can perform a performance. In general, I give free rein to my imagination and draw pictures of a beautiful, but quite possible future.
Do something without a strict goal and deadline, if you are a woman. Or, if you are a man, find yourself in a situation of competition or overcoming. I heard this theory from leading women’s trainings: they advise their visitors to restore “yin” energy in some endless processes, for example, handicrafts, cleaning or hobbies, the thrill of which is not at all the result. Yes, I know, this all sounds like a sexist's sweet dream. But it helps me personally. Cleaning out a closet, sorting notes in Evernote, making a list of books I've read and books I want to read - all these are my “secret gardens” in which the resource of inspiration is replenished quite quickly.
Do what you love. This will allow you to recharge with energy, and it will be enough for something else. Remember the hobby schedule? I wrote it to help you overcome neurosis (Barbara Sher explains that it's the fear of not succeeding in all 5, 10, or 100 of your hobbies) and take control of your many hobbies. The method seemed new, and this triggered the production of dopamine. It was enough for me for three weeks: I read a lot, danced, didn’t miss training in the gym, instilled a healthy habit (at that time it was facial exercises)... In short, I was literally bursting with energy.
But then the dopamine charge ran out, and it began to be enough for one thing. For what exactly, you can’t say for sure. I'm still trying to figure out what makes me want to remember French this week and pick up a guitar next week. But now I know for sure: if you want one thing, you don’t have to force yourself to devote attention to another. The energy will “flow” on its own, just give it time.
Everything I’ve said has been helping me stay productive for six months now. Now I quickly understand where the energy flows and restore it using one of the proven methods. Periods of stagnation still occur, but they do not last longer than two weeks. At such times, I leave myself alone and let the sine wave creep up on its own.
Many people experience periods in their lives when they lose all interest in it. People begin to remember the years of their youth, when they were interested in any events, they strived for something, achieved something. We rejoiced at every little thing and every evening, going to bed, we dreamed that a new day would come faster. Where do all these feelings disappear over the years, how to deal with it? How to regain interest in life?
Reasons why life becomes boring
In fact, it’s easy to understand why you lose interest in life. People begin to close themselves off from the world around them, they do not want to see and hear everything that is happening. In a similar way, a person exhibits a defensive reaction, which helps to hide from the pain encountered on his life's path.
Everyone can remember how often he utters such phrases: I don’t want to see this, I don’t want to hear this, I have no desire to experience this again. When pronouncing such phrases, people trigger certain mechanisms:
- Destruction program.
- Completely block out any feelings.
- The real world in all its manifestations is no longer perceived.
Regardless of whether a person understands that with such thoughts he is giving an order to launch a program of destruction, he acts. There are several channels of perception on which the understanding of the surrounding reality depends. How to regain interest in life? You need to learn to correctly perceive the world around you.
Signs of Depression
If you have no interest in life, what should you do? How can you tell if a person is depressed? Psychologists define it according to the following characteristics:
- A person ceases to be pleased with any events that previously caused positive emotions. Apathy, sadness, guilt and despondency appear.
- The person no longer sees a way out of the current situation.
- Interest in sexual life is lost and physical activity decreases. Sleep became short, and interest in food was lost.
- Self-confidence completely disappears, and the person begins to avoid other people. In some cases, suicidal thoughts appear.
- People can no longer control their feelings and emotions.
It is quite difficult to get out of such a state, but it is possible, and in such a situation it would be useful to seek help from a psychologist.
Vision is a visual channel of perception
Thanks to vision, people have the ability to see, distinguish a large number of shades, and notice everything that happens around them. As people age, their vision deteriorates, but not because they lose the ability to see. Scientists conducted many experiments and were able to prove that it can be 100% even in old age.
Visual perception of the surrounding reality depends on how ready a person is to notice and accept everything that surrounds him. Any offense, manifestation of anger and irritation “closes people’s eyes.” Diseases associated with vision loss or deterioration occur because people do not like everything they see in their lives. In children, such diseases arise because they do not want to see what is happening in their families.
Hearing is the auditory channel of perception
Hearing is the most important channel for perceiving the world around us. It also affects the ability to speak. The vibrations emitted by sound are perceived not only by the hearing organs, but by the whole body. Therefore, when a person’s ability to perceive information through the organs of hearing is closed, he is fenced off from life and the surrounding reality.
People often repeat what was said, mostly because their attention is very distracted. The auditory perception is also closed in cases when the interlocutor screams loudly, especially if it is something unpleasant. Children often have hearing problems due to loud scandals in the family, they do not want to accept it, and as a result various diseases arise.
Sensory channel of perception: sensations and feelings
A person receives most of the information thanks to his feelings, and he closes them, if something goes wrong, instantly. This often happens when he is faced with insurmountable obstacles, such as fear, resentment, love suffering. Life becomes uninteresting because its taste is lost. It has a direct connection with the perception of any smells, tastes, and tactile sensations are also of great importance.
People often resort to the simplest way to turn off such a channel of perception - smoking. You can also dull your feelings by closing yourself off; computer games and the Internet allow you to escape from reality into another world. Today, when technology has developed to a high level, this happens very often.
If you lose interest in life, what should you do? There are some rules for those who have lost interest in life, they will help regain it.
You need to completely change your schedule. This could be a change in the route a person takes to work. Perhaps it is worth abandoning the transport he is following, or getting off a little earlier than his stop and then continuing on foot. Many people find it helpful to listen to their favorite music while traveling and on their way to work. This helps strengthen the nervous system.
How to regain interest in life? Advice from a psychologist: you need to start experimenting and stop being afraid of new things in your life. It is also important to stop eating the same foods. Change your hairstyle if it hasn’t changed for a long time, update your wardrobe. You need to start enjoying all kinds of innovations.
It would be a good idea to update the interior of your home; you may even have to throw away some old things and buy new ones. Adding new colors to the interior of the apartment also helps.
You will need to become a little selfish and get rid of those responsibilities that were familiar and took up a lot of time, but were not necessary. You need to start loving yourself and stop listening to someone, learn to believe in yourself. Enjoy any small positive events in your life.
What needs to be done to regain the desire to live
How to regain interest in life? The advice of psychologists boils down to the fact that you need to learn to accept the world around you as it is, and treat yourself in the same way, perceive yourself as real in this world and begin to respect. Be grateful for all the events that happen in your life.
When a person has lost interest in life, what to do? Everything is very simple, in fact, life responds to what a person does in it, and all events do not happen by chance. To start living and enjoying what is happening, you just need to be a person with a capital “H”, believe in yourself and not commit
In order for the desire to live to appear, a person must be completely satisfied with himself and everything that he does. Of course, it is difficult to imagine a person who will be satisfied with everything that happens, but who is not successful. But many people believe that success is money. Everything is much simpler, a successful person is one who realizes himself and loves his type of activity. There are people who do not have much wealth, but consider themselves successful and enjoy life.
Success does not mean having an expensive house, car, yacht. All these are just little things in life compared to when a person was able to realize himself. A successful person always returns home with great joy and is glad to meet people close to him. Such people know what their meaning in life is, they have clearly defined goals that they strive for.
If you have lost interest in life, what is the simplest thing you can do? Even some of the world's leading psychologists advise not to lose your sense of humor in any, even the most difficult situation. And sometimes you can laugh at yourself.
There are moments that help get rid of depression.
It is necessary, as strange as it may sound, to balance your diet. Stop making all sorts of snacks that don’t lead to anything good. It is necessary to balance your diet so correctly that you do not have to resort to additional consumption of any vitamin complexes. It is useful to eat a small amount of dark chocolate, it helps
It helps to cope with problems very well by keeping a diary, in which you need to write down any little things that happen in life, both successes and failures. Sometimes there are cases that help to get out of depression - this is a state of shock. These are moments when a person urgently needs to act in a given situation. In this state, he forgets about all the problems that prevent him from living a normal life. It is important that such actions are under the supervision of a specialist, otherwise the negative consequences can be very dangerous.
Lost interest in life? You need to pay attention to such simple things as your daily and night routine. Analyze whether the sleep and rest schedule is correct. First of all, you need to normalize your sleep and be sure to find some favorite activity that will become a hobby. Thanks to this, you can completely escape from pressing problems.
If it seems that everything in life is bad, then how to find interest in life? You need to reconsider your views on it and understand that it is rich in many positive events. You need to become more optimistic. Believe that life can change in a positive way, and begin to make every effort to achieve this.
Most people tend to exaggerate events in their lives. You need to look back and analyze what is happening, and then everything will begin to fall into place. Perhaps some problems were too exaggerated or completely far-fetched. It is best in cases when depression has overcome you to look around and see how colorful the world around you is. Start enjoying life and everything will start to get better.
Taking a break from your activities as a means of combating depression
How to return a person's interest in life with the help of a pause in business? There's nothing complicated about it. You just need to relax, perhaps do meditation or go on vacation in nature. Feel how pleasant it is to meet the sunrise in some of your favorite places. Spend the evening by the fire. Watch the water flow and not think about your problems. Listen to your soul and remember some pleasant moments in life.
Remember your life purpose
How to restore joy and interest in life? To do this, a person needs to remember his innermost dreams, because everyone has had them. It is as if you need to go back to the past and find what made you happy at that time, the meaning that gave you energy and the desire to live. Then it’s good to think at what exact moment the turning point in life occurred and what exactly happened, why live. Then you need to mentally return to the place and time when this happened and rewrite the past. After such a rethinking of everything that is happening, you should begin to live in complete harmony with your soul and check everything with it. Medicine that can help overcome psychological difficulties is in everyone’s soul.
How to stop blocking feelings
There are 2 options for advice from psychologists on how to regain interest in life and stop blocking feelings.
First: you need to try to look inside yourself, to understand what emotions you want to hide from others and yourself. Next, you need to accept them completely, feel them, experience them and simply let them go.
This is best done in childhood. A child can freely, without hesitation, cry if someone has offended him, and immediately forget about everything and start playing, doing his favorite thing. This way children easily let go of negative emotions.
It is much more difficult for an adult. He needs to find a place where no one will see him. Calm down and understand what emotions bother him most. When he has dealt with this, he needs to accept them, feel them completely, and in this way he can reset the negative emotions. Negative feelings will no longer be blocked, and it will become much easier.
The second option: a person needs to seek help from a psychotherapist.
Laughter is the simplest remedy to relieve depression
A person just needs to perceive everything easier. Start every morning with a smile and understand that life is beautiful, no matter what. It is very useful to watch comedy films. This simple therapy has helped many people begin to enjoy life and get rid of the negative emotions that eat them from within.
Conclusion
There is a well-known truth: any correctly posed question carries an answer. A person wondering how to regain interest in life is already on the right path.
Passion for certain subjects, the desire to follow your dreams and the intention to achieve your goals arise precisely at the moment when you are interested in life itself in everyday phenomena. The rapture of vital activity helps to reveal one’s capabilities and rise to enormous, previously incomprehensible heights. But how can one achieve this disposition if everyday life falls like a heavy canopy?
For this situation, there are a number of tips that increase your mood and your own interest in life, do not depend on the mental state of a particular person and have been effective since ancient times almost unconditionally. They help activate invisible charges of joy in the brain. However, the most curious fact is that these recommendations are familiar to everyone, but, unfortunately, little known for meaningful use. So let's take a closer look at these tips:
More often you are in relative proximity to running water
It creates an atmosphere in which the feeling of hopelessness and depression is unthinkable. How quickly the life-giving moisture flows, so powerful is its influence. It is not for nothing that a person chooses these components of running water for a place of rest. So why does it have a positive effect on a person’s mood and emotions and restore such important strength for life? It's all about the anions that are formed during the movement of the flow. They cleanse the human body, binding cations that are harmful to well-being and creating favorable conditions for the penetration of viruses.
Get a pet
There are many studies descriptively showing that having a pet significantly reduces stress and increases satisfaction. For a long time in Europe, pets, in particular cats and dogs, have been living in the territory of private nursing homes, since the therapeutic importance of their proximity is officially recognized. You may also need the help of a psychologist at http://ra-kurs66.ru/psixoterapiya to get rid of everything that prevents you from living happily.
Eat bananas or chocolate
It couldn't be easier. Bananas aren't just a convenient snack that's easy to grab on the go, they're an instant mood booster. And although for many this is not so obvious, this is the reality. This fruit combines pyridoxine, complex carbohydrates and tryptophan, which promote the production of the joy hormone serotonin in the liver. Of course, bananas significantly increase your blood sugar levels and are not a diet that will help you maintain a slim figure. Therefore, you should eat them no more than several times a week. However, chocolate, especially bitter chocolate, not only serves as an original source of joy hormones, but is a very useful product for burning calories. This is surprising, but true.
So, as you can see, the recommendations for igniting passion in life are very basic. It won't be difficult to complete at least some of them. Enjoy life, know how to rejoice and accept it in all its diversity. Then you will not have any difficulty in being inspired by nature. And gradually life will become more exciting and meaningful.
