Unfortunately, there are no pills for happiness. You have to work to get it. Only a wise and self-confident person receives happiness as a reward. If you have low self-esteem, it will be difficult for you to earn recognition from other people, achieve success at work, and find your soulmate. When a person values himself, he is able to move mountains! This article is about human self-esteem and happiness.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is, first of all, your real perception of your place in the world and what is happening to you. Many people wonder how to increase it. You will not find a clear answer to this question anywhere. It is important to understand yourself, to give an adequate assessment of your own actions, successes and abilities. If you don't believe in yourself, you will never achieve anything. Low self-esteem is always the opposite of happiness.
It should be said that every person sooner or later has to evaluate other people. For example, their behavior, manners or appearance. The criteria for the ideal were laid down in our creation in very early childhood. The result allows us to understand how we really feel about a certain person or thing. After the creature has formed an impression, it complements the finished image with new details. This is why they say that the first meeting is the most important. Our personal self-esteem is shaped by many factors. People's opinion is the main one. In the same way that we are evaluated, we are also evaluated.
How to increase self-esteem and why do it?
Have you ever wondered why some people are luckier than others? Everything that happens to you is in your head. Success comes only to those who really, really want it. Our beliefs and thoughts are the foundation on which our whole life is built. If you don't understand this, you won't be able to become more successful and happier.
There are people who, on a subconscious level, do not allow themselves success to come into their lives. Beliefs and thoughts create a certain block. They also often think that they are entitled to much more than they already have. They list why they deserve it, and then begin to blame themselves for imperfection. Various thoughts begin to come into their heads, like they need to work more, be in the right place at the right moment, etc. It is precisely such judgments that form low self-esteem. You need to live here and now, enjoying every moment you live. Drive away negative thoughts, otherwise they will eat you up.
Let's take small children as an example. They never think badly of themselves. This understanding is inherent in nature. Over the years, a person acquires complexes, self-doubt and low self-esteem. This prevents you from getting what you want. You just have to set a clear goal and believe in yourself, and life will improve on its own. You will have successful coincidences, pleasant events and happy meetings. Self-love is the key to happiness.
Thoughts and actions
How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence? The answer is simple. You just need to enjoy life for no reason. When you wake up in the morning, smile at yourself in the mirror. When we gain confidence, we become brighter, more beautiful, more attractive and more interesting to the people around us. Do not communicate with those who envy you or wish harm. It will not bring you the happiness you seek. Push aside your fears and worries. Just take action! Don't think that people or circumstances are to blame for failures. None of this is true - we create life with our own hands and choose our friends on our own.
Self-esteem in children
Many people ask about how to increase a child’s self-esteem. You must always praise him. Although the baby does not have complexes at birth, they may appear over time. During adolescence, the worst qualities begin to appear. Let's figure out why this is happening?
The fact is that a person forms an opinion about himself in accordance with what he hears and sees in his environment and in his family. We live in a world of standards. Many parents call their children “holey head”, “bungler”, “clumsy”, considering these nicknames to be quite harmless. Over time, they form low self-esteem in the child. He is less likely to show initiative, becomes unsure of his abilities and tries to avoid serious tasks. Children who are constantly scolded by their parents rarely succeed. Don't forget that recognition from people around you and personal success depend on self-confidence. It is very important to find out in time how to increase your child’s self-esteem. It is necessary to trust him with difficult tasks, and after completing them, praise and reward him. There are different children. For some people, public approval is very important.
Since self-esteem is formed in childhood, it is parents who lay its foundations. If you constantly scold your child, he will grow up unhappy due to lack of parental love. At school, teachers constantly say that thinking about yourself is bad and selfish. What a child hears from others is taken literally by him. Peers are also often cruel. Personal qualities are ridiculed and blamed for shortcomings. As a result, the child’s standards drop so much that in adolescence he cannot fully realize himself. Moreover, he feels unhappy and lost. In this case, parents need to think hard about how to increase their teenager’s self-esteem. His achievements should be constantly celebrated and encouraged. It is also important to praise your child simply for being there.
But you should not rely on the fact that low self-esteem arises solely due to the fault of parents or other people. Failures, depression, and stress can suppress the confidence of even a completely successful adult. Not everyone is able to adequately evaluate their actions, achievements, character traits and skills. Agree that separation from a loved one, dismissal, financial crisis, death of a loved one can become reasons for low self-esteem. The result is that an insecure person considers himself unworthy of all benefits. It doesn’t matter to him whether others think so. In his own eyes, he will look like a loser, even if others consider him successful.
There are three types of human self-esteem:
- Adequate. Everyone should strive for it. A person with such self-esteem sees only positive qualities in himself and other people, without noticing shortcomings and weaknesses.
- Overpriced. People see in themselves exclusively the strengths of their character, completely cutting off their shortcomings. Such conceit leads to the fact that others seem inferior to them. Arrogance is a natural problem in relationships with others.
- Understated. A person considers himself worse than others. He thinks that he is unworthy of privileges and bonuses at work, does not deserve the good attitude of his colleagues, relatives, friends, family. This condition is often accompanied by a feeling of guilt. That is why the most common advice from a psychologist on how to increase self-esteem is to love and accept yourself with all your shortcomings. Believe me, it works.
This is very difficult to do. That is why we will outline certain methods that will help a person understand himself and adequately evaluate his actions.
- Take a blank sheet of paper and a pen. Write on it your achievements, starting from childhood. Here you can write that you did exercises, met a nice person, fell in love or found a good job. Write everything that you consider to be your personal victories. It is important not only to make a list, but also to add to it regularly. This will give you an additional incentive to perform small feats every day. This way you can notice your strengths. Thanks to this method, you will no longer wonder how to increase your self-esteem. Personality psychology says that this system really works. If you don't believe it, try it and see for yourself.
- It is very important to motivate yourself. As we said earlier, the main reasons for low self-esteem are failures, stressful situations, depression and inattention from others. In general, a negative perception of yourself or events happening to you. Allow yourself to relax and let go of the situation. Light meditation will allow you to forget for at least five minutes about all the problems that greatly bother you. Do yoga. It will help you look inside yourself and remove blocks.
- Find a passion or hobby for yourself where you can achieve success. Do some strength training at the gym or painting. The main thing is that this activity brings you inner satisfaction.
- The last piece of advice on how to increase a person’s self-esteem is this: you should make a list of all positive qualities (at least 20) and hang it on the refrigerator. Every time you feel sad, you will look at the list of your successes. This will help you love yourself, at least a third.
Still, the main answer to the question of how to increase self-esteem is that you should never compare yourself with other people. Don't look at your neighbor who married an oligarch, or your classmate who received a high position in the largest clinic in the city. All this has nothing to do with you. Understand that these people have their own lives, with their own problems. It is possible that they are unhappy. And yet, you should constantly remind yourself that there are a huge number of people in this world who have achieved more than you, but no less than those who have nothing compared to you. All people are very different. Look around: perhaps someone is looking at you with enthusiastic eyes, wanting to live your life, which you do not value.
How can a woman gain self-confidence?
Many women cannot arrange their personal lives. Psychologists believe that this is due to lack of self-confidence. They also have tips on how to increase self-esteem and love themselves. To begin with, it should be said that women are more emotional than men. That is why they tend to have complexes because of their shortcomings. In addition, women are more suggestible and trusting. Prone to resentment and depression. It should be noted that there are many ways to increase your self-esteem that apply exclusively to the female sex. Nothing cheers you up more than a trip to your favorite store, a beautiful hairstyle or a new dress. For a representative of the fair sex, it is enough to understand that she is beautiful, and then the whole world will fall at her feet. Life will take on colors and love will bloom.
Dear ladies, remember: in order to please men, you must love yourself. It doesn't take much. Go to a beauty salon and to a party. Have a blast, throw out all your emotions. Join a dance group, fitness class or yoga class. There you will be able to take a fresh look at yourself and your body, and notice something in yourself that you had not noticed before. Sport helps relieve stress, and physical activity improves your mood. Don't forget that you will also get a beautiful figure if you attend classes regularly, and this is important.
Sometimes men wonder how to increase a woman’s self-esteem. They can only be advised to do one thing: compliment their lovers more often. It is very important. A woman should feel desired and loved. Only then can she feel truly happy. If a man wants his beloved to feel comfortable, he should give nice gifts from time to time, for example, a subscription to a fitness club, spa treatments or massage. Now men know how to increase a girl’s self-esteem. Once you start paying attention to your loved one, she will change. And as a sign of gratitude, he will do whatever you wish.
How to gain self-confidence after a separation or divorce?
For a woman, a divorce from a man or separation from a loved one never passes without a trace. Family life is very important for both parties; it cannot simply be crossed out. Scars remain in the soul that take a long time to heal. Women are more susceptible to divorce. From an early age, girls were taught the idea that they were the keepers of the hearth. That is why a broken marriage is perceived by a woman as her own fault. If the reason for the divorce was the husband’s infidelity, self-esteem falls through the roof. The thought that the opponent turned out to be better settles into my head. This is actually not true. It's just that men are always looking for variety. There are also those who need to constantly feel the taste of risk. They do not take relationships seriously and are only looking for passion. Why do you need a man who doesn't respect you?
Self-love is the key to happiness and success
In order to get the treasured key, you need to follow a very simple technique on how to increase self-esteem after a breakup. Its main goal is self-analysis. Sit down and think about what worries you most. Ask yourself specific questions that you have long dreamed of getting answers to. Then turn off your thoughts and try to listen to your inner voice. Psychologists say that the answers to questions lie within ourselves. If you don't succeed the first time, don't despair, try again. Your main task is to turn off thoughts.
In order to forget a person, it is enough to forgive. It's easier than you think. Lie on the floor, stretch your legs and close your eyes. Scroll through your head a situation that is unpleasant to you. Try to change it and mentally express what is boiling in you. Then imagine telling the person that you forgive him. Always repeat to yourself that marriage is not just a fragment of life, it is a source of experience. Thank the Universe for giving you the chance to experience what you have experienced in life and overcome all difficulties. Once you put things in order in your head, you will no longer have to watch movies and read books about how to increase your self-esteem and self-confidence. You will simply know that every question has its own answer, which is in your soul.
Success Diary
In order to become happy, you need to constantly record your achievements on paper. Write down compliments you've received, pleasant encounters with friends, and how great you look today. You can write whatever you want there. Celebrate the little things. Time will pass, and you will re-read what you wrote with a smile and pride.
Wish card
A wish map will help answer the question of how to increase a woman’s self-esteem. Take whatman paper and stick your photo in the middle. Cut out beautiful pictures from different magazines and paste them next to your portrait. They are supposed to symbolize success, happiness, health, wealth and beauty. Hang the poster directly on the wall. When you wake up in the morning, you will look at him and smile. A wish map is a model of your ideal life. After some time, dreams will begin to come true.
How can a man become more confident?
Men also suffer from low self-esteem, however, unlike women, they do not always show it. They are not characterized by weakness and expression of emotions. In order to answer the question of how to increase a man’s self-esteem, you must first delve into the essence of the problem. Think about when a turning point occurred in your life and what contributed to it. Assess your strengths and weaknesses. Try to look at yourself from the outside. Once you understand what exactly you did wrong, you can move on. Don't beat yourself up too much. Just try to soberly assess the situation. Now let's move on to specific tips and recommendations on how to increase a guy's self-esteem.
What does a man need to become confident?
- Intelligence. Develop yourself. Read more books, be interested in what is happening in the world. Talk to smart people. A smart man always stands out from the crowd.
- Sport. Join the gym, take up swimming, basketball or football. The main thing is to practice regularly. As a result, you will not only get rid of depression, but also gain a beautiful body. Just imagine how you will catch the admiring glances of women!
- Hobbies. Find a hobby where you can express yourself to the fullest. Start doing something with your own hands, for example, assembling ship models or making furniture. If you are a creative person, painting is just what you need. Don't be afraid to experiment on yourself and try something new. You ask: “How to increase a man’s self-esteem with a hobby?” Very simple. Self-esteem depends on the results of your work. The main thing is to do what you really like.
By observing all these points, you can easily not only raise your self-esteem, but also grow in the eyes of the people around you. The main thing is not to put everything off until tomorrow. We live here and now - remember this.
Many men feel inadequate because they did not feel their father's shoulder in childhood. Women often ask psychologists the same question: “How to increase my husband’s self-esteem?” It is necessary to find him a mentor who will serve as an example. For some it is a faithful friend, for others it is a father. If your lover does not have anyone who could give advice in difficult times, try to find such a person. Even a gym trainer can act as a mentor.
We form our own self-esteem. The main thing is to love yourself and set a goal. You will succeed!
The level of self-esteem influences all human actions. Most often, a person’s self-esteem is underestimated, that is, a person’s real capabilities are higher than a person’s ideas about their capabilities. This is usually due to the fact that the formation of self-esteem occurs mainly in childhood, when a person’s capabilities are poorly developed. In addition, a negative environment has a serious influence. Of course, there are cases when a person has inflated self-esteem, but, in my opinion, this is typical only for very young people. But for adults the opposite situation is typical.
Increasing self-esteem is quite possible, although it is often a rather slow process. However, making a conscious effort to build self-esteem can benefit almost everyone.
How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence? Here are 12 tips to help with this:
1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. There will always be people who have more of something than you and there will always be people who have less of it than you. If you make comparisons, you will always have too many opponents or opponents in front of you that you cannot surpass.
2. Stop scolding and blaming yourself. You cannot develop a high level of self-esteem if you repeat negative statements about yourself and your abilities. Whether you're talking about your appearance, your career, relationships, financial status, or any other aspect of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments. Correcting your self-esteem is directly related to what you say about yourself.
3. Accept all compliments and congratulations with a “thank you.” When you respond to a compliment with something like “no big deal,” you are deflecting the compliment and simultaneously sending yourself the message that you are not worthy of praise, creating low self-esteem. Therefore, accept praise without belittling your merits.
4. Use affirmations to increase self-esteem. Place a statement on a frequently used item, such as a card or wallet, such as “I love and accept myself” or “I am an attractive woman and deserve the best in life.” May this statement always be with you. Repeat the affirmation several times throughout the day, especially before you go to bed and after you wake up. Whenever you repeat an affirmation, feel positive emotions about the affirmation. Thus, the effect of the impact will be significantly enhanced.
5. Use seminars, books, audio and video recordings dedicated to increasing self-esteem. Any information you allow into your mind takes root there and influences your behavior. Dominant information influences your actions in a dominant way. If you watch negative television programs or read crime chronicles in newspapers, most likely your mood will lean towards the cynical and pessimistic side. Likewise, if you read books or listen to programs that are positive in nature and can boost self-esteem, you will acquire qualities from them.
6. Try to communicate with positive and confident people who are ready to support you. When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you and your ideas down, your self-esteem decreases. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better and your self-esteem as a person increases.
7. Make a list of your past achievements. It doesn't have to consist of anything monumental. The list could include small victories, such as learning to snowboard, getting a driver's license, starting to go to the gym regularly, etc. Review this list regularly. As you read your accomplishments, try to close your eyes and recapture the satisfaction and joy you once felt.
8. Create a list of your positive qualities. Are you honest? Selfless? Helpful to others? Are you creative? Be kind to yourself and write down at least 20 positive qualities you have. As with the previous list, it is important to review this list frequently. Many people focus on their shortcomings, reinforcing low self-esteem there, and then wonder why everything in their life is not as good as they would like. Start focusing on your strengths and you will be much more likely to achieve what you want.
9. Start giving more to others. I'm not talking about money. This involves giving of yourself in the form of actions you can take to help others or positively encourage others. When you do something for others, you begin to feel more valuable as an individual, and your self-esteem and mood improve.
10. Try to do what you like. It's hard to feel positive about yourself if your days are spent working at a job you despise. Self-esteem thrives when you are engaged in work or some other vigorous activity that brings you pleasure and makes you feel more valuable. Even if your job does not completely suit you, you can devote your free time to some of your hobbies that bring you joy.
11. Be true to yourself. Live your own life. You will never respect yourself if you don't spend your life the way you want to spend it. If you make decisions based on the approval of your friends and family, you are not being true to yourself and will have low self-esteem.
12. Take action! You won't be able to develop a high level of self-esteem if you sit still and don't take on the challenges that come your way. When you act regardless of the outcome, your sense of self-esteem increases and you feel more positive about yourself. When you hesitate to take action because of fear or some other anxiety, you will only feel frustration and sad feelings, which, of course, will lead to a decrease in self-esteem.
You are a unique person, with enormous opportunities, with enormous potential. As your self-esteem grows, your true abilities will be revealed. You will begin to take more risks and not be afraid of rejection; you will not focus on the approval of other people; your relationships will be much more beneficial both for you and for others; you will do what brings you joy and satisfaction. Most importantly, high self-esteem will give you peace of mind and you will truly appreciate yourself.
Low self-esteem causes nervous tension and stressful situations, which lead to the development of various diseases. Self-doubt deprives a person of joy, prevents him from building relationships, achieving his goals and moving up the career ladder. Therefore, it is vitally important to make every effort to overcome fear and doubts in order to get rid of complexes and gain self-confidence.
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How can a woman gain self-confidence?
There are representatives of the fairer sex who are not particularly beautiful, intelligent and do not behave arrogantly, but are able to create a special aura around themselves, attracting others to their personality. Their secret is self-confidence and a correct assessment of their merits.
In psychology, the following methods are used to help a woman overcome complexes:
- Find something you love. When a person does what he likes and is good at, then he develops and becomes a leader in that area. Those around you will definitely appreciate this and begin to ask for help, and for such achievements you can praise yourself by giving a high rating.
- Remove imposed stereotypes. You should not think that only a person with a higher education can be called smart. Or that only girls with ideal parameters are considered beautiful and successful. You need to live by your own rules and not try to squeeze into what society imposes.
- . Confident women strive to be authentic, they don't compare themselves to others and value their individuality. It is important to learn to enjoy your appearance, education, work and teach others to do the same. Don't miss the opportunity to treat yourself to a relaxing treatment at a beauty salon, new beautiful clothes or a vacation you've been dreaming about all your life. Self-doubt occurs due to the absence of a loved one in a woman’s life, but practice shows that his presence does not solve all her problems if she has not learned to love herself and enjoy life alone.
- Consider all your positive qualities. For those who want to increase their self-esteem, psychologists advise keeping a success diary. It will help to achieve stability in personal development, analyze life situations, changes in oneself and form the necessary character qualities. In it you can record past experiences and main periods in life, successes, victories, awards, starting from school times. You also need to set aside several pages to list all your positive qualities and all the obstacles that you managed to overcome to develop your strengths. You should write down all the good things that happened in the past and what is happening at the present time. If you constantly do these exercises, your consciousness will begin to repress all unpleasant events that negatively affected your self-esteem.
- Treat criticism correctly. The ability to properly listen to criticism, and not take it with hostility, changes a person’s attitude towards people and helps to show love and attention to others, regardless of their attitude. To be self-confident, a woman needs to learn to laugh at her mistakes and shortcomings. Then she will not see her life only in gray colors and constantly be offended by others.
- Have the right social circle. Friends who can support, reassure her of their love and help a girl see all her strengths are a valuable gift in life. .
In order for others to appreciate a person and reach out to him, you must first learn to value yourself. If a girl is able to praise herself and sees her achievements, then those around her will do the same. A woman gains self-confidence if she sets achievable goals and tries to achieve them. It is not always easy to cope with all life situations, but it is important to notice the things that work out and reward yourself for the things you do.
How to get rid of complexes
Raising self-esteem for a man
Increasing self-esteem begins with the process of self-hypnosis. A man must believe and repeat to himself every day that he is a successful and significant person. Over time, he will accept this truth and gain confidence. You can increase your husband's self-esteem with words of praise and gratitude for everything he does for the family.
In addition, to change his attitude towards himself, a man needs to:
- 1. Set goals in life. Representatives of the stronger sex love to act, conquer and achieve. Defining a goal, working on it and achieving it increases men's self-esteem and level of confidence in their importance.
- 2. Don’t scold for mistakes. Wrong decisions, unfinished work, a mistake - this is not a reason to torment yourself, but an opportunity to gain experience, work on mistakes and improve.
- 3. Develop in the mental and physical spheres. Women most often pay attention to smart and athletic handsome men. The interest of the fairer sex in a man has a positive effect on his self-esteem.
- 4. Analyze your circle of acquaintances. If a person communicates with someone who humiliates him and tries to improve his personal qualities at the expense of another, then he develops low self-esteem. A simple way to avoid this is to stop communicating, and surround yourself with confident optimists who will not drag you to the bottom, will be able to notice good qualities and praise them.
- 5. Don't compare with others. Everyone lives the way it suits them, has their own priorities and goals in life. You need to have your own business, then a man will have a reason to rejoice, looking only at himself.
The reasons for complexes and self-doubt come from childhood. A person may be haunted by some childhood failures or grievances. If a man is aware of the fact that now he is no longer a little loser, but an adult who leads his own life and is able to cope with all problems, then this will have a positive effect on raising his own spirit.
Help for teenagers
Low self-esteem in teenagers is common. Signs of the existence of complexes in a child are isolation, poor performance at school, loss of interest in life, dependence on the opinions of peers, comparison and imitation of others. The reasons for these phenomena may be puberty, interest and desire to please the opposite sex, to be accepted by others and familiarity with the realities of adult life.
Advice from psychologists to parents to help their child gain self-confidence:
- 1. Avoid criticism. It leads to the development of low self-esteem and destroys the relationship between children and parents.
- 2. Don't compare with others. Any comparisons should relate the child's successes or failures to his past achievements or failures. And only for the purpose of praising or finding out a weak point that is worth working on.
- 3. Do not discuss the teenager with strangers. All words spoken in the presence of a child can make him depressed, deprive him of joy and self-confidence.
- 4. Help you achieve success. Parents should encourage their teenager to engage in new activities, knowledge and hobbies, and create a favorable atmosphere for development. It doesn’t matter what the result of these new activities will be, the main thing is that he sees the support of his family in his endeavors.
- 5. Respect his opinion. Being within narrow limits, it will be difficult for a teenager to trust his parents and listen to them, so he should be given the opportunity to choose his own friends, recreation and hobbies. This does not at all indicate permissiveness, but speaks of respect for the rights of the individual.
- 6. Help with appearance. It is common for a teenager to complain about his appearance, his figure, to compare himself with his idols, people from the cover of a magazine. The task of parents is to help their child look better - take them to a beauty salon, choose a haircut, buy good, beautiful things that will highlight all the advantages. If you have problems with your facial skin and this worries your teenager very much, you can consult a specialist and find a way to solve the problem.
Have you ever wondered why people who once started out in the same conditions have different lives? Why have you been marking time for years, suffering failure after failure, while your peers are succeeding in all areas?
Why do you waste yourself on work you don’t like, empty conversations with uninteresting people, but you have neither time nor energy left for what is truly valuable? Life seems gray and meaningless to you, you fall into depression over every trifle, but someone feels like a favorite of fortune and confidently walks through life?
Is there a way out? There is always a way out of any, even the most hopeless situation, and there is far more than one. But in order to radically change the course of events for the better, it is necessary to study the essence of the problem in detail. The reason for your failures often lies in understating your merits.
Everything could have turned out differently if you knew what to do and how to find the path that will lead to success and help you believe in your new result. How to raise your level? For what reasons did he suddenly fall? After all, you once studied well, were bright, talented, and showed great promise. What happened?
Why don't you value yourself? 4 main reasons
Reason one: improper upbringing
Remember the already tired phrase: “We all come from childhood”? No matter how banal it may sound, our vision of ourselves is laid down in childhood. Many parents do not even suspect how much harm they are doing to their child by constantly criticizing him, comparing him with others, praising other people's successes and emphasizing his failures.
Such parents and teachers believe that this model of upbringing will spur the child on, stimulate him to high achievements, without thinking at all about how the child really feels. It turns out the opposite effect: they instill in a small person a complex of the so-called “excellent student syndrome.” Can you guess what this could lead to in the future? That's right - only to the fact that the child will not love himself.
Throughout his life he will be haunted by the fear of making a mistake. Because of this, he will miss opportunity after opportunity, refuse to implement interesting ideas, for fear of doing something wrong. As a result, he will not be able to realize himself and will consider himself a failure. And it’s good if one day he comes across the right person, a wise book or a film that will make him understand the essence of the problem and think about his future life.
Reason two: ridicule from peers
Children, sometimes unknowingly, can be very cruel. And trouble is for those who cannot stand up for themselves. Often timid, shy children become objects of ridicule and bullying from their more confident peers. Trifling events are transformed by a child's consciousness into universal meanings.
Well, just think, you made a mistake at the blackboard or knocked over something from the teacher’s table with an awkward movement. The class laughed and forgot about the incident after a couple of minutes.
And children who are unsure of themselves will worry about the incident for a long time, feel like losers and guilty, thereby creating the ground for new ridicule from their peers. And the task of adults is not to let the situation take its course, to be puzzled by how to help the child accept and love himself, to calm, encourage and protect him.
Reason three: negative environment
A person is able to adequately evaluate himself when he is surrounded by interesting, purposeful people who serve as role models for him, stimulate his development as a person, and encourage good endeavors and aspirations.
In such an environment, they are not puzzled by the fact that a person cannot accept himself, because these people know their capabilities, set ambitious goals for themselves and successfully achieve them. If you live surrounded by gray townsfolk who can only talk about a better life without doing anything, then this norm of behavior will gradually become habitual for you.
Any manifestation of initiative and thoughts about how to overcome self-doubt will only cause condemnation and grins here. These people will wash the bones of others and complain about life, taking away your energy. Think about it: is it worth spending time on them?
Reason four: physical disabilities
Unattractive appearance can really become a serious problem for a person. Since childhood, many have experienced mocking ridicule from peers and short-sighted adults about excess weight, poor eyesight, short stature, and who knows what else.
Often, an inferiority complex associated with appearance is far-fetched, especially in adolescence, when children are extremely self-critical. If all the media promote strict standards of beauty, into which you do not fit in any way. How can you not get depressed?
There are also serious health problems that, unfortunately, a person cannot influence. But even in these cases, there are always ways to accept yourself and feel confident, despite your physical illness. So, we figured out what the root of “evil” is. Now let's look for a way out - ways to overcome uncertainty. In fact, there may be a lot of them, let’s look at at least 10 main ones, which have long been tried and tested.
10 ways to raise your standards
- Method 1: change your environment
Being a social creature, a person is at least half at the mercy of his environment. Do you want to be rich, self-sufficient and self-confident? Surround yourself with such people! Each of them at one time thought about how to advantageously present themselves and become confident, and started somewhere.
Successful people, consciously or intuitively following karmic laws, as a rule, turn out to be much simpler and more benevolent than they think.
Having reached heights themselves, they will gladly meet you halfway, charge you with positive energy, and help you become better and more successful. You will have new goals and opportunities. Your life will sparkle with new colors and gain meaning. Believe me, it works!
- Method 2: Recharge your brain, never stop learning
Remember yourself when you were young. Many of you were confident, full of hope and ambition. Everything was easy for you, you grasped everything literally on the fly! Why is it not like this now? Why does any need to learn at least something new now cause you complete rejection and drive you into depression?
Yes, because then your brain worked hard, every day you gained new knowledge. What is stopping you from doing this now? Read useful books, watch wise films, start learning a foreign language, a new computer program, master a new profession, finally.
Load up your brain, let it work at full capacity, and then you will have no problems with how to become self-confident. You will be fully occupied, and you simply physically will not have time for depressive conclusions.
If you are not satisfied with your job and want to start doing what you love, then now there are plenty of opportunities to get almost any profession remotely via the Internet, even if you are already of advanced age or live in a small town or village where there are no educational institutions.
- Method 3: Don't compare yourself to others
If you are truly confused about how to love yourself, stop comparing yourself to other people. Each person is interesting and unique in their own way. There will always be someone who is smarter, more beautiful, more influential or richer than you.
Although, no matter what we say, a person is by nature inclined to compare himself with others. In this case, turn this fact to your advantage: let someone else’s success serve as an example and incentive for your own development, and not as a reason for envy and despondency.
- Method 4: love yourself
No one can love you and appreciate you until you do it yourself. Believe me, everyone has shortcomings. It’s just that someone skillfully hides them, and someone gets fixated on them, and then doesn’t know how to get out of it.
Better pay attention to your strengths. It can't be that you don't have them. Find something to praise yourself for, what are your strengths. Make a list of your achievements and hang it in a visible place. Concentrate on them, cultivate them, develop them in yourself.
- Method 5: pamper yourself
Allow yourself to pamper yourself from time to time. And it doesn’t matter at all what: a fashionable gadget, a beautiful new thing, a trip to the theater or something delicious. Stop fulfilling only the whims of your relatives. In the end, you deserve better too. And this is another great technique for starting to value yourself.
- Method 6: Learn to accept compliments
When people give you compliments, accept them with joy and gratitude. After all, if you respond with “not worth it,” “nothing special,” you not only lower your self-esteem, but thereby offend people who say nice things to you completely sincerely. Therefore, if you don’t know how to love and accept yourself, where to start, first of all, reconsider your attitude towards yourself.
- Method 7: work on your shortcomings
The easiest way is to complain about fate without doing anything to change your life for the better. Are you unhappy with your excess weight? Work on it: go to the gym, to the pool, do yoga, start eating right. There are many ways to get in shape and improve your physical condition, it’s not for me to teach you. Then your thoughts will come into complete order.
Anyone can achieve serious heights and universal recognition, even people with serious health problems. Take the Paralympians or think about Nick Vujicic. They teach and inspire completely healthy people how to cope with their problems and accept themselves. You just need to have a great desire and an iron will. Make a decision for yourself once and for all and start acting.
- Method 8: Do what you love
Doing what you love is another way to yourself. Find time in your life for this, and it doesn’t matter at all what your status is, whether it’s your main job or hobby. After all, only by doing what we love, we get the opportunity to express and realize ourselves to the fullest.
Are you not hired for an interesting job because you lack knowledge? Yes, unfortunately, life does not stand still, and what you were once taught in college or university is no longer relevant for a long time. Take courses, attend master classes, find yourself a tutor, or take training online.
- Method 9: Be honest
Very often people are forced to behave insincerely; they cannot honestly and openly speak out about everything that does not suit them. Because they are either too dependent on other people, or they are afraid of offending someone. And this hurts their self-esteem. How to stop being afraid?
It's very simple - always be sincere. Believe me, people will appreciate this quality and will be grateful to you. Even if you feel hostility towards someone, it is better to express it openly and try to resolve the conflict than to pretend to be friends all your life, while holding a stone in your bosom.
- Method 10: take action!
This is perhaps the surest tactic on the path to how to love yourself and accept your qualities. If you continue to sit with your hands folded and silently endure all the blows of fate, you will finally stop respecting yourself. What then can you expect from others? Don't hesitate, take your first step into a new life right now.
