How to cope with pain from. How to deal with heartache after a breakup? Don't whine on social networks

People often go to psychologists for one purpose - to immediately numb the pain. To quickly stop feeling

Fast time. Rapid change of feelings. There is no place for pain to live.

People often go to psychologists for one purpose - to immediately numb the pain. To quickly stop feeling - and run again, to life, to work, to family. Like robots. To live and not worry. To live without obsessive thoughts interfering. To live and not feel.

Because pain is about feelings. This is an indicator. Where integrity is broken, it hurts. Where there is a wound, it hurts. Where there is a wound, it cannot help but hurt. If the body is alive, it reacts with pain to injury, disease, or malfunction.

There is a way out: become a cyborg, then you won’t get sick. Never ever. But then the sunset won’t make you happy, and the wine won’t taste good, and the cat won’t touch you. This is also about feelings.

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The wound does not heal instantly. Let's apply some pain-relieving ointment. Let's put on a bandage. But the wound will not heal before all the protective and restoration mechanisms are activated. Blood cannot be forced to clot faster, and cells cannot be forced to regenerate faster. Everything happens at its own speed and in its own time.

The same thing applies to the psyche. She needs to be allowed to work out all the stages. Do not hold it on purpose (do not pick at the wound), do not speed it up (apply one remedy after another right there). You need to let yourself get sick.

The loss hurts. Breaking up hurts. A message with bad content hurts. An unanswered message hurts. A harsh word hurts. Dislike hurts. Ignoring hurts. Jealousy hurts.

We must not run, not save ourselves, but live. You have to be sick. Like during the flu, you need to lie down in bed, drinking tea with lemon. We must accept this pain and this condition. Acknowledge and name what you feel. "Yes I am jealous". “Yes, I’m afraid of losing her, I’m mortally afraid.” And feel. Cry. Angry. Pour out anger. Suffer while looking at photographs. Write stupid letters. You don’t have to send it, but you can write it. Devote part of your time to living through the pain of the situation. Be in it. Without lubricating. Without switching. Without distractions. Set aside time to consciously experience pain.

The psyche itself will turn on defense mechanisms. If you don't disturb it, it will turn on. If you get sick, apathy and indifference will set in. Then a calm understanding of what happened will come. Then – acceptance of the situation and the desire to move on. This is what you wanted to get right away, immediately, at the very beginning.

I know, it's a strange recipe. But you yourself know: the effect of any painkiller ends, and the wound stops hurting only when it heals

Mental pain, suffering - every person experienced this torment. Resentment from betrayal, betrayal, injustice, grief, melancholy - all these feelings are associated with pain that cannot be relieved with medication.

Unfortunately, many people, trying to escape the pain that torments them, find themselves trapped in addictions. This applies to alcohol, drugs, and gambling addiction.

Running away from problems is for the weak. It sounds corny, but it's true. Most people, who tend not to take responsibility for their lives, who look for the cause of failures and mental discomfort from the outside, cannot survive the slightest pain and do everything not to feel it, which only aggravates the situation.

On the other hand, mental pain pushes creative people to create masterpieces; for example, the most beautiful poems are written precisely in a state of mental anguish, looking for a way out.

What to do when your soul hurts?

Let's consider several possible situations when torment arises, and try to understand how you can heal mental wounds.

Hidden benefit

Psychological work with a problem begins with establishing its cause. If you communicate with people who constantly "hit" the possibility, you will not need psychotherapy. It will be enough to change your environment. But if you deliberately find yourself next to such people over and over again, it makes sense to think about why you need this. What pushes you to such “self-torture”? Is there some hidden benefit for you in this?

Very often it causes severe mental pain. In this case, treatment will be useless as long as there is a need to achieve hidden goals. In order to do so, it is necessary to identify them and revise them.

Grief

Another common cause of mental pain is a prolonged experience, for example, from a person or from the loss of a close relative.

In these cases, the help of a psychologist is often necessary, but the person himself can take steps to get rid of the problem.

Firstly, there is no need to fuel memories by looking at photographs of departed people or listening to sad music. Secondly, try to switch your attention to new activities, do what you like most, and most importantly, do not be alone.

When experiencing grief, there is a period when you need to endure the acute pain and let it go. A psychotherapist can help with this. If you are unable to forget the deceased person, try to mentally talk to him and say goodbye. Left alone, light a candle, think about the one who left, internally let him go, making the decision to continue living. Very often, such a choice requires real courage.

Bodily tension

Any phenomena of our consciousness, one way or another, manifest themselves at the bodily level. Acute mental pain leads to the appearance of areas of tension, or muscle tension, in the body. For example, a hunched, tense back, “petrified” shoulders, clenched jaws. Such manifestations are a consequence of restraint. The movement frees the body, returns life to it, and, as a result, mental pain ceases to be unbearable, it “blooms” and gradually goes away. Try to move more, walk, play sports, even if at first it will be difficult for you to force yourself to devote time to this. This will help you cope with pain.

Working with Restraint

You often hear: “Don’t keep your grief to yourself, talk it out, you will feel better.” This is true. At the initial stage, a person needs to release negative emotions and share experiences with loved ones. If you have no one to talk to, you can do a simple job: take a piece of paper and write on it what worries you, what torments you, what hurts your soul. If you write sincerely and do not hold back, you will quickly feel relief. This work is useful because it helps you understand yourself better, and the experiences taken outside no longer seem so scary and insurmountable. By the way, it is recommended to destroy the piece of paper after completing the work. For example, it can be burned. This symbolic action will help you release negative emotions.

Defeat

Mental pain can also be caused by the experience of defeat in a matter that is very important to a person. In this case, the memories come back again and again, a feeling of shame arises, and thoughts of what should have been done are tormented. Such a state of mind will be cured if a person finds the cause of his defeat and builds a different course of action. You need to stop self-searching and understand what led to failure, and what qualities you need to change in yourself to avoid this in the future.

In general, the psychology of experience is built on looking for support in your mind, and only then working with feelings. is the master of himself and his life, which allows him to experience negative emotions without being captured by them. In addition, having learned to think and build our lives correctly, we begin to work for the future, eliminating the occurrence of mental pain and developing resilience in the face of a variety of life circumstances.

Heartache allows you to gain new experience and maturity. The main thing is not to be afraid to live in the present to the fullest, rejoicing, grieving, suffering, learning lessons and achieving new victories. After all, we all came into this world to experience the fullness of existence, and not to hide in a cocoon of experiences. Think about it, you can live and continuously move forward, or you can “experience”, that is, remain in place while life passes by. The choice is yours.

A person experiences mental pain for various reasons. Some lose loved ones, others break up with a loved one. It is not always possible to suppress sadness and start from scratch. Healing mental wounds requires time, effort and constant work on oneself. A depressed state often results in prolonged depression, so it is important to find a balance in time so as not to aggravate the situation.

Unleash your feelings

Don't ignore the fact that sadness is drawing you deeper and deeper. The heart hurts and the soul cries, this is normal. Turn on a hot shower and cry, beat the mattress, scream, just don’t keep it all to yourself. Try to find the balance that makes you feel as comfortable as possible.

Don’t fake a smile, pretending that everything is fine. There is also no need to constantly think about what happened, provoking a nervous breakdown. Home meditation or yoga classes will help you find harmony. These directions are created for healing the soul and solitude with one’s own “I”.

In cases where the above methods are not suitable, create a “sanctuary” in your apartment. Set up a cozy corner, hang curtains in pastel colors, buy soft pillows. Obviously, at first you won’t want to go outside for a long time, but you shouldn’t delay it. When the tears roll in again, go back to your cozy corner, brew a mug of green tea with honey and close your eyes.

Control your actions and mind

There are often cases when a person experiences mental pain and remains in it for a long time. Try to look for a way out so as not to drown in despair. It’s one thing if you decide to wait a week to cope with the torment, it’s another thing when you fall into a prolonged depression.

During heartache, each of us goes through certain stages on the path to healing (grief, anger, indifference, anxiety, fear and humility). Analyze your own actions, think about what helps you move forward.

Perhaps the transition from sadness to dissatisfaction was carried out with the help of physical activity or constant busyness at work. When motivation is found, use it to move on to the remaining stages until you accept what happened.

There are no people who can do without social communication. Family and friends will always support you and fill the void with advice or words of regret. Invite a friend over, cook a delicious dinner or order pizza to your home, watch an interesting movie on a neutral topic. Speak out, ask what she would do in your place, listen to practical advice.

Make it a habit to organize such gatherings every evening over a cup of tea or delicious ice cream. You should not drink alcohol even in small quantities. Under the influence of alcohol, strong emotions will come up that you will definitely not be able to cope with.

If communicating with people is not an option, buy a diary. Conduct a frank dialogue in it, transfer all the pain and accumulated torment to paper. When the time comes and you can let go of what happened, you will need to burn the written sheets and move on to a new stage.

Would you like to keep a diary? It's okay, get a pet. You should not buy a dog if you are not ready for such a serious step. Choose a parrot (preferably a talking one), a cat or fish. The new inhabitant will give strength, as he requires attention, affection and communication. Focus on your pet, take care of it, invest all your love and energy.

Remove material memories

If you have lost a loved one, you should not throw away his things, it will be mean. Collect them in a box and carefully place them in the far corner of the closet. Restore everything to its place when the pain subsides. If you have broken up with a loved one who broke your heart through his own actions, get rid of the “evidence” forever. Take personal items, shaving accessories, and photo frames to the trash. Delete pictures from your PC and phone, erase the number.

If not all items make you remember what happened, sort it. Take the thing in your hand and pay attention to the first associations. Does a wall collage make you cry? Remove and dispose of it. Does the smell of perfume drive you crazy? Remove from sight. Does bed linen cause negative feelings? Leave it. Repeat the steps with each item that misleads you.

Take a break from what's happening

Pick up a book you've been wanting to read for a long time. Start watching a new series or find a hobby. Sign up for dancing, go to a trial class in stretching, Pilates or yoga. Call your friends, invite them to bowling, a water park or a picnic. Try to spend as little time alone as possible, communicate with interesting people.

If your professional employment involves an ongoing work process, throw yourself into it headlong. Improve your qualifications or learn a new specialty. Visit distant relatives, take an outing every weekend.

It's good if you have the opportunity to go abroad. It is not necessary to buy expensive tours for 2 weeks; a three-day trip to the sea or to countries with a large concentration of attractions will be enough.

When a person begins to fantasize or imagine good moments, he is automatically healed. There is nothing wrong with dreams, visualize everything to the smallest detail. Imagine swimming in the sea or driving a newly purchased car.

Find 15-20 minutes a day for a flight of fancy. During a short-term stay in the virtual world, the border with reality is erased, existing problems become less important.

Turn on your favorite music, find a comfortable position and close your eyes. Experts have repeatedly proven that music therapy has a beneficial effect on the nervous system and improves mood. The released endorphins fight stress and smooth out difficult perceptions of reality. After 5 sessions, your attitude towards what is happening changes, and strength appears for new achievements.

Avoid sad memories

You have already gotten rid of things that can remind you of what happened. At this stage, it is necessary to suppress negative memories that bring you to your original state. A regular song playing that day or a walk in familiar places can trigger new stress.

It is not forbidden to think about what happened, but thoughts should be directed in a positive direction. If you notice that sadness will soon come, switch to something neutral or cheerful. Go for a walk where you have never been before, go to a river or lake.

Time will pass, you will learn to live with it, you will be able to easily switch from a once painful topic to completely opposite things. Now it seems to you that it will not get better, but this is not so. Soon the events will be in the past, and you will find the strength to move on.

Pay attention to appearance

Get your hair, face, and figure in order. Go shopping and buy beautiful things that fit perfectly. Find an extreme hobby, go swimming or master snowboarding techniques.

Avoid shaving your head, getting tattoos, or wearing bright colors. Leave such changes for later. Meet new people, spend more time with them. Such a move will not allow discussing the sad events that have happened every half hour.

Develop materially and enrich yourself spiritually

Master literature on sociology, history, psychology or business. Find a profitable job, set a goal and move forward to achieve it. In order not to relax, make a bet with your friends.

Do not keep emotions in your head; in such cases, there is a risk of depression. Invite your friends over, talk it out, spend time having intimate conversations. Monitor your thoughts and actions, do not force memories. Step back, find something interesting to do, go visit relatives or friends.

Video: how to overcome mental pain

Sometimes we love a person so much that it leaves deep wounds in our soul. The pain of being rejected is no less than physical pain. And it doesn’t really matter whether your boyfriend suggested breaking up after a long relationship or a new acquaintance refused to go on a date with you. Healing mental wounds is a very long process, but you need to gather your strength and set off on a long journey to a renewed self.

Steps

Part 1

1. Allow yourself to feel sadness. Heart wounds are always painful. You cannot ignore the fact that your experiences are causing you suffering. This means that you must give yourself time to process the emotions that come with heartache. These feelings are how your brain literally tells you how much something has hurt you. There is no need to artificially suppress these emotions in yourself.

   • Create a healing space. You need time and space to process your emotions and give vent to your bitter feelings. When you feel emotional pain, try to find a calm place where you can cope with the wave of emotions that overwhelm you. Sometimes it’s enough to go for a walk, retire to your room, or just make yourself a cup of aromatic tea.
   • When a person experiences mental pain, he goes through certain stages of this process, during which he experiences feelings such as anger, pain, grief, anxiety, fear and acceptance of what happened. Sometimes you may feel like you are literally drowning in your own emotions, but if you can identify exactly how you move through each stage of experience, it will help you go through the healing process easier and a little faster.
   • Try not to drown in your despair. There is a clear difference between simply giving yourself time to process your emotions and being completely overwhelmed by them. If you find that you don't leave the house for weeks, forget to shower, and life seems meaningless to you, you should seek professional psychological help as soon as possible. These are signs that the grief process is too difficult for you to cope with on your own.

2. Live for today. If you want to deal with all your emotions at once and get rid of your heartache immediately, you are probably setting yourself an impossible task. Instead, move from one stage to another gradually, and always live for today.

   • A good way to focus on a specific moment in your life is to try to live for today. When you catch yourself thinking about the past again and again, stop yourself. Look around: what do you see now? what smell do you smell? What color is the sky above your head? what are your fingers touching? and the wind blows in your face?
   • Don't start coming up with a grand plan to forget the person who broke your heart. On the contrary, if you focus on how to cope with your grief, it will happen on its own.

3. Indifference. When a relationship ends or you are rejected, you will probably feel like there is suddenly a huge hole inside of you. A huge black hole that absorbs all the happiness from your life. At this point, many people make the mistake of immediately trying to fill this hole with something because they are unable to bear this painful feeling. Yes, this feeling causes you a lot of pain, and you have the right to feel empty inside.

   • Create a space for yourself where your ex is not present. Delete his phone number and you won't be able to text him when you've had too much to drink. Add him to the “blacklist” on all social networks, otherwise you will one day find yourself looking at new photos on his account all night long. Don't ask mutual friends how your ex is doing. The more clearly you understand that the breakup is final, the easier it will be for you to heal after it.
   • Don't try to immediately fill the void left by broken love. This is one of the most common mistakes people make when trying to heal emotional wounds. When you try to immediately jump into a new relationship to stop feeling the pain and fill the void left by the previous feeling, it doesn't really help you move through the necessary stages of coping with loss. Your unlived negative feelings will sooner or later return to you, but they will become even stronger and more painful.

4. Tell us about it. You need to make sure you have the right support to help you cope with your heartache. Having strong support from your friends and family, and even your therapist, will help you get back on your feet faster than anything else. Of course, close people will not fill the emptiness that your loved one left in your soul, but they can help you better cope with this emptiness.

   • Find a close friend or relative with whom you can talk about your worries, especially on long, lonely evenings. Try to find a person or people who can provide you with emotional support to make up for the support you received from your partner in the relationship that ended. Ask your friends for permission to call them every time you feel an irresistible urge to talk to that person you are trying to get rid of your feelings for.
   • A journal can be incredibly helpful in this situation. Not only is it a good way to let your feelings out, especially if you don't want to put the burden of your suffering on your friends, but it's also an effective way to evaluate the progress you've made. After re-reading old posts, you will suddenly realize that you now think about your ex much less often or notice that you want to go on dates again (In reality, and not just “to fill the emptiness inside left by broken love”).
   • Sometimes you may need to talk to a psychologist or psychotherapist. There is no shame in seeking professional help!

5. Get rid of things that trigger memories. If you constantly stumble upon objects that bring back memories of a past love, this will only slow down your healing process. You shouldn't keep the old lounge pants that your ex usually wore after work in the closet; get rid of this trash.

   • There's no need to ritually burn anything that reminds you of your past relationship, especially if those things can be given to people who need them. But you should definitely remove these things from your life, one way or another. Additionally, depending on how bad your breakup was, ritually burning things can release a barrage of feelings that were previously locked away in your heart.
   • Take a thing and try to remember what exactly you associate with it. Then imagine putting those memories in a balloon. When you get rid of something, imagine that the ball flies far, far away, and will never bother you again.
   • If you still have valuables in good condition, you can donate them to charity. In this case, you can imagine how much joy this thing will bring to the new owner.

6. Help other people. If you start helping others, especially those who are experiencing the same feelings as you, you can take your mind off your own worries. It also means that you are not drowning in your own misery and self-pity.

   • Take time to listen to your friends and help them if they are having difficulties. Don't focus only on your own heartache. Tell your friends that they can always count on you to listen to them and help them if they need it.
   • Do volunteer work. Find a job at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. Offer your help at rehabilitation centers or shelters for homeless animals.

7. Give free rein to your imagination. You will imagine your ex coming back to you and talking about how stupid he was for letting you leave. You can imagine in detail how you hug and kiss this person, imagine your intimacy in detail. Such fantasies are absolutely normal.

   • The more you try to stop your imagination, the more often such thoughts will come to your mind. When you try not to think about something, especially if you have imposed this strict limitation on yourself, in fact, you only think about it all the time.
   • Set aside special times when you allow yourself to fantasize, so you don't spend all your time in an imaginary world. For example, you can give yourself 15 minutes a day during which you can think about how your ex dreams of getting back together with you. If these thoughts come to your mind at another time, put them aside until the time allocated for fantasies arrives. You don't refuse to think about it, you just put these thoughts off until later.

   Part 2

   Beginning of the healing process

   1. Avoid anything that triggers memories. If you have already gotten rid of all the things that trigger memories, as described in the first part of the article, this will help you avoid such moments. However, there are other things that you should keep in mind. Of course, you won't be able to avoid them completely, but at least try not to look for them on purpose. This will help you recover faster.

      • The occasion could be anything from a song that played on your first date to a small cafe where you spent so much time together studying for exams. It could even be a smell.
      • You may encounter this even when you don't expect it at all. If this happens, determine what exactly triggered your memories, and what kind of memories this factor caused. Then try to switch to something else. There is no need to dwell on these feelings and memories. For example, when you come across a photo of you together on Facebook, admit to yourself that you feel sad and regretful because of it, and then try to think about something positive or at least neutral. You might think about the new dress you'll wear tomorrow, or how it would be nice to get a kitten
      • This doesn't mean you should go out of your way to avoid these evocative moments. You won't be able to do this. All you need to do is just try to avoid encountering things that traumatize you and make you regret the past. You need your mental wounds to heal.

   2. Good music will help you heal faster. It has been proven that music can have a therapeutic effect and help speed up the healing process. Listen to upbeat, energetic songs. Scientific studies have shown that when you listen to such music, your body releases endorphins, which help you perk up and overcome stress.

      • Try not to include sentimental, romantic love songs. This type of music will not help the release of endophins in your brain. On the contrary, such songs will only increase your sadness and stir up emotional wounds.
      • When you find yourself feeling sad again, it's time to turn on some upbeat music to perk up your spirit. If you turn on dance music, you can simultaneously get endorphins from listening to upbeat music and from energetic dance moves.

   3. Take your mind off your heartache. Once you've gotten past the initial stage of giving yourself space to grieve and deal with your emotions, it's time to take your mind off the unpleasant thoughts. When you start thinking about your ex, do something, try to switch your thoughts to something else, come up with some new activity, etc.

      • Call those friends who said you can always count on them if you need help. Read a book you've been wanting to read for a long time. Turn on a funny comedy (and get the added bonus that laughter helps you heal).
      • The more you do to stop thinking about your ex and your mental anguish, the faster you will feel better. Of course it's difficult. It is very difficult to control your thoughts all the time and monitor how much time you spend thinking about your mental pain.
      • Try not to get carried away with "painkillers." It could be something that allows you to stop feeling pain for a while. Sometimes you really need something to give yourself a break from the heartache. However, be careful that these types of distractions do not harm you, especially in the beginning when you need to learn how to cope with negative experiences. Such a “painkiller” can be alcohol or drugs, but it can also be continuous viewing of TV shows or constant presence on the Internet. Or even foods you eat just to make you feel calmer.

   4. Change your lifestyle. One of the problems that faces you is that the usual way of life that was formed when you were together has suddenly been destroyed. If you start doing something new and change your routine, it will open the door to new habits. There will no longer be room in your new life for the person who broke your heart.

      • You don't have to radically change your life to break old habits. Do simple things, for example, go shopping on Saturday morning instead of lying in bed; Try listening to a new style of music or discover a new hobby, such as karate or flower gardening.
      • Try not to make radical changes in your life before you have carefully weighed the pros and cons. Especially try to avoid drastic changes in the beginning, immediately after a breakup. If enough time has passed and you want to show that you are really changing, then it's time to get something like a new tattoo or shave your hair bald.
      • If you have the opportunity to take a short vacation, go on a trip. Even taking a weekend trip to a new city can help you gain a new perspective on what happened.

   5. Don't hinder your own healing. Of course, relapses happen from time to time when you are trying to recover from a failed relationship. This is normal, this is also part of the healing process. But there are some things that you can anticipate and thereby prevent them from setting you back in your movement towards a new life.

      • Pay attention to the words you usually use. When you say: "Monstrous!" or “Terrible” or “Nightmare!”, you continue to see the world in black. This creates negative thinking. If you can't think positively, try to at least stick to neutral expressions. For example, instead of saying, “It's over forever!”, say, “This breakup was very painful for me, but I will do my best to get over it.”
      • Try not to embarrass yourself. You don't need to drive past your ex's house every evening and see if he has found a mate. Try not to call or text your ex while you've been drinking. Things like this only stop you from moving forward.
      • Remember that everything changes in this world. Your feelings today will be completely different in a week, month or year. We promise that a time will come when you will be able to calmly remember this period of your life without experiencing pain.

   Part 3

   Accept what happened

   1. Stop blaming. An important part of your healing and acceptance of what happened is to understand that it is not helpful to blame yourself or another person. What happened is what happened, so you can't do or say anything to change what happened, so what's the use of blaming.

      • Try to find good feelings towards the other person. No matter what he did or didn't do, try to find compassion in your heart for him and what is happening to him. This doesn't mean you have to forgive him immediately, it just means you stop being angry with the person.
      • On the other hand, don't blame yourself for everything. You can acknowledge and reflect on what you did wrong in previous relationships, and promise yourself that you won't repeat past mistakes in the future. But don’t waste time agonizing over your own mistakes over and over again.

   2. Feel when you are ready to move forward. It takes different amounts of time for people to heal from heartache. It is impossible to name a specific period of time that you will need, but there are signs by which you can determine that you are moving in the right direction.

      • You no longer worry if you find several missed calls on your phone from an unfamiliar number.
      • You have stopped picturing the scene of your ex returning to you and on his knees begging you for forgiveness.
      • You have stopped finding associations with your life in films and songs about unhappy love. You notice that you now like to read and listen to things that have nothing to do with this topic.

   3. Try to understand who you really are. There is one thing that usually goes unnoticed while you are in a relationship with someone and during the first stages of grief after the relationship ends. This is the ability to be yourself. For a long time, you felt like you were part of a couple, and then someone who was grieving a lost relationship.

      • Work on your personal development, both external and internal. Play sports or change your appearance. These things are great for boosting your self-esteem, which may have suffered during a breakup. Determine which aspects of your personality you need to work on. For example, if you tend to be passive aggressive when you're feeling down, try to work on finding healthier ways to express your anger.
      • Develop character traits that reflect your uniqueness. When you're spending all your time with another person or trying to cope with the aftermath of a breakup, you tend to pay less attention to your personal interests. Try to restore relationships with people with whom you did not have enough time to communicate during the relationship and after the breakup, and again do what you are truly interested in.
      • Try something new. This can help you meet new people who have never met the person who broke your heart. Learning new things can help your brain take its mind off the heartache and start living in the present.

   4. Try not to return to the past. You don't want to interfere with the healing process from your emotional wounds, so don't do anything that will trigger your mental suffering again. Sometimes this cannot be avoided completely, but you can try to minimize the risk.

      • Don't let this person come into your life too quickly, or at all. You will only irritate your own mental wounds and feel your misfortune with the same acuteness. Sometimes it's impossible to remain friends with your ex.
      • If you do do this, don't despair. The work you have done to heal from emotional wounds has not been in vain. You will still win. Do not give up. When it comes to relationships, everyone has experienced relapses of heartache in one way or another.

   5. Do what brings you joy. When you engage in activities that bring you joy and happiness, you cause dopamine levels to rise in the brain. This is a chemical that helps a person feel happy and fight stress (its level after a breakup can rise to critical levels).

      • Do things that don't bring up memories of your ex. Start doing something new or pick up hobbies you gave up while you were in a relationship.
      • Learn to be happy. People are more willing to associate with those who are happy because happy people help others feel happy too. Of course, you can't force yourself to feel happy all the time, but try to do things that bring you joy and live a life that makes you feel happy.
   • Continue to love yourself, even if it seems overwhelming. In the long run, it will make you stronger.
   • By helping other people, you are helping yourself. Give people good advice and don't show negative feelings.
   • A good joke will make you laugh even in these difficult times. Even if it seems inappropriate to have fun at such a moment, laugh - and life will become a little happier!

   Warnings

   • Don't rely solely on our advice. If you feel like you are getting worse, consider maybe you need professional psychological help.
   • There is no need to harm yourself, even if you feel like you have lost the love of your life.