Even with great effort, we cannot always forget certain situations from the past. However, there are several simple ways that you can get rid of unpleasant memories and start life with a clean slate.
Our life is divided into three categories - past, present and future. In each of these periods, certain moments happen to us that are impossible to forget. In this article we will talk about what has already happened to us, and about what we need to leave in the past forever in order to start living again.
Memories of the past are moments that we can no longer forget. It doesn’t matter whether they are pleasant or not, we will always visualize them in our minds, because they are an inseparable part of us. The past is the basis of our life. Every day we live can bring something pleasant and new into our lives, or it can upset us. Unfortunately, we cannot control our destiny and we do not know when something important will happen to us. Because of this, unpleasant moments occur in our lives, which leave behind not only consequences, but also negative memories. The site's experts offer you several ways in which you can let go of the past and start a new life.
Main causes of negative memories
Living in the past is a thankless task. Sometimes a person involuntarily mentally returns to his previous life and tries to realize his mistakes. However, to get rid of negative memories, you need to understand the reasons for their occurrence.
Death of a loved one. It is this memory that is almost impossible to get rid of; you can only come to terms with it. The death of a loved one can not only turn our life upside down, but divide it into “before” and “after”. For a long time, a person feels lonely, especially if he has lost a person who has always been his main support and support and with whom he has many pleasant memories.
Breakup or betrayal. The betrayal of a loved one is very difficult to survive. Cheating leaves a deep wound in the heart and makes us completely disappointed in the opposite sex. Breakup is also one of the biggest shocks in our lives. As a rule, such memories fade into the background only with the advent of new love. However, the fear of being abandoned again never leaves us.
Moving. Longing for old places and old acquaintances - this is what people who change their place of residence face. Over time, we get used to a new city, make new friends, but memories of familiar places never leave us. In this case, you just need to get used to your new life and find your advantages in it. Try to look back as little as possible, otherwise moments of the past will never leave your consciousness.
Wrong choice of profession. Even in childhood, parents try to prove to us that one profession is much better or easier than another. Having enlisted the support of loved ones, we make a choice and don’t even think about the consequences. Many years pass, and we remember with bitterness those times when we were choosing a future profession, and we think that now it not only does not bring us the expected income, but also deprives us of joy. Many people say that it’s never too late to change your life, which means that in order to get rid of negative memories and hated work, you just need to make a decision on your own and finally choose the type of activity that you like.
Ways to get rid of negative memories
Before you learn about ways to get rid of negative memories, be in a positive mood. Don't forget that besides the unpleasant moments in life there are many good things. Suffering and complaining is not a way out of the situation. In this way, you harm yourself by refusing to let go of the past and start living with a clean slate.
Analyze your past. Before you get rid of negative memories, you need to understand some aspects of your past. At this stage you need:
- Let go of the past. Having experienced a series of failures, a person begins to think that one day they will repeat in his life, and thereby attracts them. Whatever mistakes you have made in the past, you must let go of the memories of them. You don’t have to put up with the fact that troubles will happen in your life, try to imagine your future in a better light.
- Admit your guilt. Everything that happens in our lives is partly our fault. You should not blame other people for your problems, because no one decides what you should do in a certain situation. To start life again, you need to admit that your mistakes are your fault. This way you can draw conclusions for yourself and avoid difficulties in the future.
- Forget your mistakes. Perhaps you once betrayed a loved one or committed another, no less bad act. This does not mean that memories of him and feelings of shame should haunt you throughout your life. At this stage, it is important to understand that you are a person, and it is common for any person to make mistakes. Your task is to avoid doing things in the future that will cause you to torment yourself.
After analyzing your past, you must draw a conclusion for yourself. If at this stage you have gotten rid of some unpleasant memories and were able to forgive yourself, then you did everything right.
Learn from the past. Everything that happens to us should not disappear without a trace. Even from an unpleasant situation, you can learn a useful lesson that will help you avoid mistakes in the future. Our past is an invaluable experience, because all the events that happened directly related to us. Your task is to draw the main and useful things from it and let it go. However, not many people are able to do this. Many continue to step on the same rake, clinging to a past life and making mistake after mistake.
Freeing yourself from negative memories. The most important stage has come, in which you must completely get rid of negative memories. To do this you will need:
- Choose the right attitude. Start each morning with the thought that today will bring you new pleasant memories.
- Psychological trick with water. If negative memories do not leave you, turn on the tap and imagine that they are flowing away together with water.
- Get rid of things that have negative memories associated with them. If there are things in your house that you have negative memories associated with, get rid of them. For example, after breaking up with your loved one, you don’t need to keep gifts and photos together, no matter how dear they are to you. One look at them will pull you back into the past, preventing you from moving forward.
- Change the environment. If the atmosphere around you makes you sad and provokes unpleasant memories, make changes to it. In this case, you can do repairs or buy new furniture. If you have long wanted to change your place of residence, then the time has come to take action. Such chores will not only help you take your mind off negative thoughts, but will also be the first step towards starting a new life.
- Change appearance. To understand your true inner state, you need to look at yourself in the mirror. Most likely, your appearance will make even you feel sorry for yourself. Think about whether your memories are worth such sacrifices? Head to the beauty salon, fitness center and boutique shopping. Change your appearance so that, looking at your reflection, you feel confident and ready for new victories and achievements.
- Thank and forgive your offenders. Of course, you don’t need to make a personal meeting with every offender, but mentally you must forgive them, even if it is not easy. Resentment, hatred, anger, desire for revenge - all this is an extra burden that prevents you from starting a new life. Get rid of it and you will feel better.
- Master meditation. Meditative practices help you relax and free your thoughts from everything unnecessary, including negative memories. With the help of meditation, you will learn to focus your attention only on important and pleasant things, which means that the past itself will fade into the background.
- Get rid of bad habits. Bad habits clog a person's life. The minutes that you could spend on something more important and useful are spent to your detriment. First of all, you need to get rid of alcohol. Alcoholic drinks negatively affect the nervous system, and while drinking them, people begin to be overcome by memories of a past life and negative thoughts. By getting rid of addictions, you will be doing a huge service to yourself and your body.
Meditation to get rid of unpleasant thoughts and memories
Meditation is the best way to relax and get rid of negative memories. This meditation practice is distinguished by its simplicity, and it can be performed at any time of the day.
To begin, choose a quiet place and sit comfortably. It is best to do meditation in nature, but if you do not have such an opportunity, you can do it at home, but be sure to be alone.
Imagine that you are in a beautiful place, a harmonious, peaceful environment reigns around you, and the only thing stopping you from taking a step forward is the heavy bag that you are holding in your hands. In your mind you should open it and see that there are stones in it. Imagine that each of them is one of your unpleasant memories. Start mentally throwing them out of your life by repeating:
- I let go of my past;
- I myself can control my thoughts;
- I am free from my memories;
- I am ready to part with my memories and start a new life;
- I live in the present;
- I love only myself and my family;
- I will be able to meet new love;
- I will find
Life is full of events, and they are not always joyful: some of them you simply want to erase from your memory. However, often a person mentally plays out a negative situation in his head, returning to it again and again. However, you can get rid of this habit, and the tips described below will help with this.
How to forget an unpleasant event?
When thinking about how to forget something forever, you should resort to the following method. You will be required to relive the negative event without changing the plot. It is important that you feel emotionally what happened in the past. Remember all the little things you can.
Then imagine that all this happened not to you, but to someone else. What advice would you give to this person? Surely you would see the situation from a different angle. Put yourself in the shoes of the people who participated in it. What emotions are you feeling now? Most likely, you will not be so offended by everything that happened. After this, imagine how the picture fades and then disappears from your field of vision. You can even mentally drown her in sulfuric acid. She is no more, she has disappeared, she has died, which means you can let everything go. Understand that the past is dead and will never come back. Once you understand this, the pain will go away.
How can you forget something terrible?
You can erase a terrible event from your memory by switching your brain to something completely different. This could be work, a new hobby, dating. Also, you shouldn’t be alone, otherwise thoughts about what happened will simply haunt you. It’s better to spend some time with friends and relatives. Of course, from time to time, memories of a negative event will pop up in your memory, but every day it will hurt you less and less.
Some people have nightmares in which they return to that terrible reality and relive it. In this case, you need to think only about good things before going to bed. For example, thank your Higher Power for the positive things that happened over the past day. It could be:
- meeting with an old friend;
- your baby's smile or first words;
- a pleasant memory - a cute kitten or puppy, a beautiful butterfly.
You can also watch a comedy, a concert of your favorite artist, or listen to a new album before going to bed. It is important that you take your mind off what is weighing you down. As a result, you will go to bed in high spirits, which means you will only have pleasant dreams.
How to forget something bad in your life?
Bad events often happen in a person’s life, and most often he blames a relative, friend, or acquaintance for them. As a result, hatred appears, but it does not allow you to live in peace. In this case, it is very important to forgive the person who harmed you and let him go. Meditation will help you with this. Sit in a comfortable chair or lie down on your bed, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Once you are completely relaxed, you can begin to meditate. Imagine a place where you will be as comfortable as possible, and invite your offender there. Look into his eyes, look at his facial features, look at his clothes.
Now tell him everything you think about him. Surely you have accumulated a lot. You don't have to be shy in your expressions. Once you tell your abuser how you feel, you will feel better.
The next stage will be forgiveness. Take the person by the hands, look into his eyes and tell him that you forgive him. This must be done sincerely. Say the words “I forgive you” as many times as you want until you believe it. After this, you can let the offender go: look after him, wish him happiness and surround him with love.
You should feel lightness, it will be a sign that you have let go of the situation. If not, you need to do this exercise every evening. It may take you a month or a week, take your time, as it will become easier for you. As a result, the bad event will not dominate your mind; your brain will simply forget it.
How to forget a negative event forever?
The following exercise will help you forget something forever. For it you will need to find a sheet of paper, a saucer, matches and a pen. Sit down at the table and describe a negative event that happened to you. Remember all the details. Once you realize that you have nothing more to add, reread what you wrote and tear the paper, imagining how the negative situation is erased from your memory.
Then take a saucer, put scraps of paper in it and set them on fire. Look carefully at the flame, imagine how all your grievances and memories burn in it. Once the paper is completely burned, wash off the ash with water. That's it, this memory is no longer there, it has no power over your mind. Remember this and enjoy today without going back to the past.
You can read more tips on consigning memories to oblivion in our article -.
It's not just your life that has had so much negativity. Most people have terrible memories that need to be unleashed for a second and they will be devoured. Therefore, let's talk about how to forget bad memories. By the way, if you can do this, your psychological state will change for the better, which means your present will become a little better.
Do you need a psychotherapist?
Sometimes they just sit and agree, shaking their heads. The same thing happens when communicating with friends: a friend sits and assents, everything ultimately comes down to rubbing out the terrible past and tearing apart old wounds. So, we don’t need such a psychotherapist. But a more intelligent one will be quite suitable, but only on the condition that the two of you will work together.
Both cognitive therapy and body-oriented therapy can help. But here is a fairly effective method from a psychotherapist, who told the author how to get rid of bad memories (well, or part of them) in a week. We just start a notebook (maybe with an ugly picture) and for a whole week we write down all the bad memories of childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.
Don't be shy and pour it all out. The second option is from Lissy Moussa’s simoron: we write down all the nasty things on small pieces of paper, everywhere, even at work, even on the trolleybus. Spend a week on this too. And on Saturday we string everything on a thread and wear it on our belt like a tail. The result is the same: both the tail and the notebook need to be burned on Sunday evening and the ashes scattered. Then walk from that place at a brisk pace and without looking back.
If this is labor-intensive and unpleasant for you, just shout out and speak out, even if it’s to a supportive friend who is ready to erase this negativity for the umpteenth time. The next thing to do is to take a spoonful of honey out of all this and understand what good there was from all this evil. Well, now you can get rid of this trash of negative memories.
We forgive
We forgive ourselves and forgive those who became the source of bad memories. A mature person fully understands that at the time of the wrong action he probably had no other choice. Just like the one who offended him. The only thing you can do here is forgive. Try to understand what is unacceptable for you (insults, betrayals, humiliation of your neighbor, self-affirmation at the expense of others, scams) for others may be the norm, because such people were not taught differently and were not given the same upbringing as you.
And further. If you were once insulted or humiliated, this does not mean that you are bad. Perhaps the person simply asserted himself in this way, or was pursuing his own goals, in achieving which you were simply something passable.
Pick up the ball
There is one method to forget bad memories, at least for a short time. This method won’t get rid of them forever, but it will definitely prevent them from taking over you. So, as soon as something unpleasant comes to mind, we pick up the ball and remember the children's game: I know ten names of boys.
We hit the ball against the wall and remember five boys' names. Let's complicate things further. Today you saw ten beautiful things and did ten good things. It doesn't cure, but it relieves pain.
And in general, active movements and physical activity can work a miracle. We do yoga or something from the “smart body” category four times a week. It takes a little time, but it is distracting. Helps for the first time after a flurry of negative emotions.
Getting rid of things
How to get rid of bad memories if everything around you “turns on” their button? No way. So, we take out to the trash all the things that remind us of our betrayed friends. We also send a photo of the betrayed husband there... Things should not become a source of negative memories. It’s much more difficult with phrases and words that provoke.
Coming up with an alternative history
In fact, memories can be replaced. Moreover, even the most negative memories are sometimes overgrown with unpleasant details that... did not happen.
So why not replace them with good ones? Or, instead of loneliness, poverty and humiliation from classmates and parents in adolescence, imagine that you were popular, wealthy and loved by your parents.
If in childhood you were attacked by a dog and since then you have been afraid of them, then you can revive in your memory the moment that your older brother or father protected you. And after that, think about how good it is to be saved by your brother or dad. You can also rewrite an unpleasant story from the past and change the course of events so that everything ends happily and joyfully.
Just an exercise
You can lie down on the sofa or sit in the most comfortable chair. The main thing is to be alone and quiet. Watch your breathing a little. Try to imagine your memory in some collective way. You don't really need a clear picture - you need something that evokes emotions in you. Now attach adjustment knobs to this picture: just like on an old TV.
If this is already difficult for your imagination, a remote control on which you can turn down the sound and brightness will do. Now rotate this knob or press the remote control button. First we turn the sound down to zero. Now, you no longer hear insults from your classmates or your ex. Now we remove the contrast of the memory.
And finally, we remove the brightness. As a result, the unpleasant picture from the past should turn into a silent blur. Do all this very smoothly, slowly destroying memories. You can repeat the exercise when negative moments come to mind again.
The second option is to place the resulting picture in a room with many lamps. And now, slowly but surely, we turn off the lamps one by one: the first, the second, the tenth... the image becomes visible worse and worse... You can also repeat this exercise. Over time, you will realize that the memory no longer hurts so much.
You can also imagine that what hurts you so much is just a dream from the past.
And remember that memories are just imprints from the past. They simply no longer exist, just as the past does not exist. Were you bullied by children at school? You can look at the children now passing under your window. Are you afraid? So, there is no past, which means it’s quite possible to get rid of it.
In every person's life there are incidents that one would like to forget. Any memory brings incredible pain. Of course, over time it becomes dull, but a person wants to completely forget about the bad. This can be done using several methods.
Negative memories arise after a person has experienced events that caused him anger, fear, resentment, hatred or disappointment.
To try to let go of any memories, you need to understand that it is thoughts and thoughts about him that bring pain. Many people are simply unable to understand who exactly is to blame for what happened exactly like this. There is no need to replay in your head many times what has already happened. This will help you forget bad memories as quickly as possible.
It will be best when you once objectively evaluate the entire current situation and the feelings that it produced on you. Say it all out loud or write it down on a blank sheet of paper. You don’t want anyone to hear this; forgetting is your own business.
Psychologists say that after every unpleasant situation that occurs, you should first of all accept yourself exactly as you are. Don’t get angry at others, and end each memory with these thoughts:
- Each person did exactly what he wanted.
- You shouldn't judge others, it's their own business.
- If I made a mistake, then I have the right to do so, just like others.
- This situation gave me a new experience.
- Now everything is in the past, this situation will no longer bother me.
Methods on how to forget bad memories in your life
A powerful weapon against unpleasant memories is an active imagination. There are several types of imagination that can easily help in the fight against past memories.
They are:
1. Substitution of bad memories
2. Rewind time
3. Generating memories
These methods work using your imagination and imagination. You need to imagine any situation as realistically as possible.
As soon as you start to have negative memories of the person who hurt you, try to imagine a pleasant situation with this person. This method will help you quickly dull the pain and forgive your offender. After this, it is much easier to let go of this person.
For many people, negativity is retained in their memory more than any positive situations. Human memories must always be in balance. If positive memories are not enough, then it is better to use your imagination. Start dreaming, imagine that everything came true exactly as you wished.
Once there are enough positive memories in your mind, the person will again feel happy and joyful. In this state, he will understand that everything in his life will only be good. With the help of generated memories, a person will set himself up for positivity.
Clearing yourself of bad memories is not an easy task, but if you work on yourself every day, you will soon see excellent results and be able to forget them.
Chances are, we all have memories that people would like to forget. A disturbing incident, an embarrassing situation, humiliation, insults from a loved one - it could be anything. And no matter how hard you try to forget it, the memory resists.
There is no need to suppress all unpleasant thoughts. There are times when you need to reflect on what went wrong so you can learn from your mistakes and move on. But when the only effect of your thoughts is to prolong the pain, you need to get rid of them and move on.
Recent research suggests that people can program themselves to forget things on purpose. Here's how to forget what you don't want to remember.
Drive away bad thoughts
Making a conscious decision not to think about bad memories can help erase them forever. When you are reminded of something you don't want to think about, don't let your mind think about it.
Forget all the details associated with memories
To get rid of bad memories, forget about the details, people, and emotions associated with them. Details may include smells, sounds or images associated with an event you do not want to remember. For example, if you don't want to think about a traumatic event, remove the details associated with it from your mind. It could be the song playing in the background or the faces that were looking at you at the time.
Do this daily
Suppressing unpleasant memories is difficult. Any thought that is suppressed tends to ricochet. For example, if you want to block the emotions associated with a car accident, your brain looks for any thought about it to block it. This makes it, so to speak, more accessible. That is, when you don’t block it, the thought rushes back and again haunts you. Thus, you need to block memories on a daily basis. You need to regularly push them out of your consciousness.
Don't focus too much on blocking thoughts
Blocked thoughts tend to come to life faster and more strongly when you give them too much meaning and attention. Accept the fact that suppressing thoughts is very difficult, but you must continue to work at it, while trying not to overdo it.
Avoid triggers
Certain images, objects, smells or places may trigger bad memories for you. Remove objects or images that are preventing you from forgetting something you don't want to remember from your mind. Avoid places or meeting people that remind you of your painful past.
Distract your mind
Another strategy you can try is to replace the bad memory with something good. If the thought of a past failure continues to haunt you, try thinking about how you succeeded at something in the past. Don't let bad memories affect your mood. As soon as they wash over you, start thinking about something good.
Associate something positive with a bad memory
Learn to associate negative thoughts with positive ones. This will help you overcome bad feelings. For example, think about your bad moment while enjoying a good movie, or do something that makes you happy. A positive association will make your negative memory less painful.
Become aware of the memory
Another theory suggests that becoming fully aware of the memory and the negative emotions associated with it will help you cope with painful emotions. Feel angry, sad, or hurt. Squeal, scream, cry. Let go of your emotions to reduce their power over you.
Use a release ritual to erase your memory
This is a mental exercise, a kind of ritual to free yourself from negative emotions or memories that have settled in your mind. Write down every detail of the memory that you want to forget. Allow yourself to write openly, knowing that no one will read it. Then you need to burn the sheet of paper. When you see that the paper is on fire, you mentally release the memory. Alternatively, you can also tear or shred the paper into small pieces, this also helps a lot.
Practice mindfulness
Learn to focus on the present moment instead of thinking and worrying about your past, which cannot be changed or predicted in the future. Don't go through your day on autopilot. Notice and pay attention to small details, sights, smells and sounds. Regular meditation practice will help you to be mindful and appreciate every moment of life.
Live your life to the fullest and create good memories
Always be around people who make you happy. If possible, travel and meet new people. Communicate as much as possible. This will help you form new good memories, which will naturally make your bad memories disappear.
Don't sit idle
Invent a new hobby or physical activity. Devote yourself to creativity and take part in arts and crafts activities. Spend your energy creating something new, or try yourself as a volunteer. You will be constantly busy and have less time to spend thinking about bad memories.
Talk to someone about it
Talking to a trusted friend or family member can help. Their advice, opinions and similar stories can give you a different perspective on things and help you forget what you don't want to remember.
By following all these tips, you will be able to erase bad memories from your memory and gain complete control over your life.
