Sometimes people face problems that seem to be passed down in the family from generation to generation. And even academic psychology turns out to be powerless in solving them. If you encounter something similar, then it is not at all necessary to turn to grandmothers or fortune tellers.
A scientific study of such problems was carried out by the famous German philosopher and psychotherapist Bert Hellinger (b. 1925). As a result of his research, he developed a method with which it is possible to solve complex problems that go beyond the limits of one human life. This method is called systemic arrangements.
The term introduced by Bert Hellinger - familien-stellen, is translated from German as “family constellation”. Sometimes this method is also called systemic or organizational constellations.
The Hellinger Method is often presented as a branching family tree because it deals with unfinished tasks that have roots in family history. These processes from the past involve living family members in what happened long ago. Descendants find themselves intertwined with the destinies of all previous generations.
The main point of this method is that a person’s roots go far back into history. We cannot refuse the experience that our ancestors accumulated and passed on to each other. It is too valuable, it is thanks to this experience that our family has survived. This experience is passed on from parents to children, and with it often comes unsolved problems, intra-family conflicts and some oddities of behavior that are difficult to explain because they have already lost their context.
The family constellation method is concerned with restoring this context to gain a deeper understanding of the situation and problem that the person is facing. And most importantly, to find a solution to this problem.
The constellations are based on the method of psychodrama, supplemented by the method of substitutes, people who help restore the lost context. They may play the roles of absent or deceased family members. This method was used by psychotherapist Virginia Satir in her work.
Hellinger significantly enriched it by adding a phenomenological approach to it. This approach means the value of subjective perception of reality over reality itself. That is, if a person is worried that his mother left him at home alone as a child, then work will be done on this situation, although in fact she may have left him alone once for 5 minutes, thinking that he was sleeping . But the feelings of the participant in the arrangement are more important than what actually happened. The work is carried out specifically with feelings, although the real context of the situation is restored.
When can the systemic arrangement method help?
Constellations work with family weaves. But what are family weaves? These are complex, confusing life situations that sometimes cannot be explained from the point of view of reality. If a situation happening to a person has no real logical explanation, then it can be considered a family entanglement. Here are some examples of such situations:
1) a person works a lot and hard, but his work brings little money;
2) an attractive and intelligent girl cannot get married;
3) despite a healthy diet and a healthy lifestyle, serious illnesses appear for inexplicable reasons;
4) a person feels that he must help children left without parents, unhappy, homeless, or feels some kind of duty to other people, although in fact he personally did not take anything from them.
Often the feelings we experience are not true, for example:
1) inexplicable fear, fear of attack, although you have never been attacked in your life;
2) constant anxiety, without obvious reasons or reasons;
3) jealousy that has no basis;
4) causeless sadness.
All these situations are not accidents, but interweavings that have roots in the destinies of our ancestors. It was they who did not resolve something in their lives, they made mistakes, they did not love them. And these sensations, sometimes through words and stories, sometimes non-verbally, at the level of sensations, were transmitted to us from parents or other relatives. As a result, we partially live a life that is not our own, and solve problems that are not our own. But each of us can become happy. To do this, you need to understand and unravel your family weaves and start living your own life.
Laws that work in family weaves
The reasons for the appearance of family entanglements can be very different, but there are three orders (laws) according to which the family system develops and lives:
1) balance (equilibrium) between “take and give”;
2) hierarchy in the system (senior - junior);
3) belonging to the system.
Any violation of these laws leads to problems in life (tasks that require solutions). For example, if one of the sisters, growing up, takes responsibility for the entire family, relegating her parents to the background, then there is every reason for a family entanglement to arise.
It may have causes in the past. But it will most likely affect the future, in the lives of this sister’s children, as well as other young members of this family. That is why it is very desirable to find the reasons for the occurrence of such a situation and unravel them as quickly as possible.
What happens during systemic constellation trainings?
Therapy takes place in groups where there is an agreement to work together and a certain level of trust. At the same time, a person working in constellations can be as frank as he is comfortable with.
He sets out the essence of the problem and, to solve it, chooses other people who play the roles of his loved ones, co-workers at work, and so on. Already at this stage, people begin to become involved in a problematic situation and experience some feelings that they can share.
The name itself reflects the essence of the work in the Hellinger method: the assembled participants are placed in a room, in accordance with the place in the mind it occupies in the mind of the main participant in the arrangement. These people are called “deputies”; they talk about the feelings and states they are experiencing, which allows the psychotherapist leading the constellation to untangle relationships in emerging conflicts and unresolved situations, and build the correct hierarchy from senior to junior.
Different levels of human perception are worked out (visual, auditory, spiritual (mental), emotional). Substitute participants move into the arrangement field, and new people are included in the process. The leader uses various psychological techniques, using his experience and intuition.
The exchange of feelings and thoughts during the constellation process, which occurs under the guidance of the leader, very often in itself helps to untangle the knot in relationships from the past or present.
A person experiences situations in a new arrangement, in a safe space, and ultimately acquires a new perception and a different positive model of behavior. If, based on the results of work for this system, the arranger made the right decision, then this is reflected in the state of the participants - they experience even, calm feelings.
This method uses the concept of a “knowing field”, which is not found in any other psychological technique. It means that the substitutes somehow connect to the feelings and knowledge of those people, instead of whom they participate in the constellations. In practice, this can look absolutely incredible.
But if you understand that an agreement on mutual participation and mutual assistance has been concluded between the group members, then everything that happens will not seem so incredible. In addition, in the mind of the person for whom the constellation is being done, all the departed family members and all the feelings that they experience are present. And the deputies, being included in the arrangement, one way or another, feel this content of his consciousness.
Occasionally, the leader introduces a character such as death into the arrangement. This must be done in situations where the death of someone close to you seems incomprehensible, unfair or unexpected, or the person is tormented by a feeling of guilt towards the deceased. In such situations, the high professionalism of the leading psychotherapist is required in order to proceed accurately and carefully. In some of these cases, at the discretion of the driver, in addition to the deputy of the deceased relative, death is introduced into the constellation as a fact that took place in life. As you can see, the approach to psychological work is unconventional. And yet, it is very effective. Many who were disappointed in psychotherapy and psychodrama were able to find solutions to their problems through constellations.
Conclusion
Each arrangement is unique and individual, it depends on the specific person and his needs. It is important that this method does not require long and serious work, like, for example, a psychoanalyst. One serious problem can be resolved in one arrangement. If you are afraid to participate in constellations, take part first as a substitute. You will gain a unique experience that will also help solve your problems.
In our country, the Bert Hellinger method is an effective method officially used by psychologists, recognized by the All-Russian Professional Psychotherapeutic League. The scope of use of constellations is large - in pedagogy, business, medicine, and psychotherapy.
The method described above is very young (founded in 1992), is in the stage of formation and constant development, showing us a wide variety of creative approaches to each person. The professionalism and experience of the leading psychotherapist plays a great role in its effectiveness.
What is an arrangement?
Arrangement is work to become aware of the deep subconscious processes that form the problem in order to find a solution to it. Currently, this method is used in group therapy and individual counseling. The placement method is systemic, that is, it works with problems of a systemic nature (family, tribal, organizational...), and short term-- the method is characterized by a small number of meetings with a psychologist and large intervals between them. Solution-oriented means that the focus of a psychologist's work is finding a solution, rather than analyzing the problem itself.
The constellation method owes its appearance to Bert Hellinger, a German psychotherapist. Having summarized his multifaceted experience in philosophy, theology, pedagogy, and various areas of psychology, he was able to identify patterns , which lead to tragic conflicts between family members. On this basis, he developed his own method of therapy, which is becoming increasingly popular throughout the world. Constellation is still a very young method (it gained wide popularity in 1992 after the publication of Gunhard Weber’s book “The Two Kinds of Happiness” in German).
About the name of the method.
"Arrangement" is the author's term translated from German (familien-stellen - family arrangement). It most accurately reflects the essence of what happens during work in this method: people (deputies)arrangein the group’s workspace, intuitively determining to each their own. This is where the arrangement begins. The figures placed by the client reflect his subconscious image of the situation with which he works in the arrangement.
What does the arrangement work with?
"You can choose between the peace of weaving and the risk of freedom."
Claude Rossele(replica of a Swiss constellation from the October seminar on organizational constellations, 2009)
Bert Hellinger introduced the concept of “family interweaving,” which is what the constellation works with. What is it? Unfinished processes of the past in the family (or the extended family of the clan) unconsciously involve living members in what happened long ago. This is how the law of balancing the system works. Descendants, obeying these laws, are called upon to complete what was unfinished by their ancestors: to grieve, to finish, to live something for someone... Thus, a person finds himself in a subconscious trap, intertwined with the destinies of his ancestors. Without realizing it, he is not living his own life, solving problems in life that are not his... The method of constellations allows you to “unravel” such interweaving. Live in the present, not in the past. Allows you to release powerful life resource, which was previously unavailable due to involvement in past processes.
Family weave is easy to recognize: if the situation you are experiencing has no explanation from the point of view of real life, it is an interweaving. For example: a beautiful and intelligent woman does not find a mate - she is intertwined; You work hard, but end up with no money; You take care of your health, eat normally, avoid drafts, but still get sick often; you know that drinking is harmful and you still get drunk in a subconscious desire for death... Do not console yourself with the words: “it happens by chance.” Do not blame viruses, stress, the political situation or the environment for what is happening to you. Understand yourself. Behind every such accident lies a serious systemic background. If the feelings you experience do not correspond in the strength of their manifestation to the real situation (for example: there is fear, but there is no reason; there is jealousy, but there was no betrayal; sadness - for no apparent reason...), most likely you are with someone... then they are intertwined and these feelings are not yours. They are from the system. And once in the past these feelings were quite adequate to some situation.
“Man is born for happiness, like a bird is born for flight.” And so it is. Each of us is born with a full range of opportunities to build a happy life. The only question is: how to build a successful present while living in the past? Without full contact with reality? With myself?
The reasons for the appearance of family entanglements are varied. They are revealed during the placement process. Each arrangement, like the person for whom it is made, is unique. And yet there are systemic laws (orders), the restoration of which allows you to free yourself from intertwining: the balance of taking/giving, hierarchy in the system, belonging to the system (see “Articles”, “Site Terminology”).
Balance between “taking” and “giving”.This is the basis of any relationship. Being in a relationship, some of them we take and something we give it away, and only then the relationship can BE, can last. An imbalance leads to various family entanglements. For example, incest is a consequence of an imbalance between spouses. If the husband brings more to the relationship than the wife (it doesn’t matter what: you can take and give in a relationship different things - money, feelings, gifts, children, manifestations of care...), the child, out of love for his parents, takes on the function balancing. The daughter’s relationship with her father is the return to him of what the spouse “owes.” Daughter does this for mom. An imbalance of take/give among parents makes the child a victim of entanglement. If the balance is not restored where it was disrupted, the “debt” is passed on through generations. The message about what needs to be done, for whom and why is becoming less and less clear, but the need for balance in the system remains. Law of homeostasis! And then the descendant on whom this task will fall (random choice!) will most likely either get sick (and these will be serious health problems. What cannot be expressed either by feelings or words finds expression in an imbalance of the body), or suffer losses of a different nature...
In a situation where a descendant unknowingly takes on the role of a rescuer for an ancestor, there is also a violation of the hierarchy in the system: the younger one takes care of the older one. They seem to change places, breaking the chronology of events. A person lives something for an ancestor. His own life, due to the intertwining, fades into the background. Can such a person be successful in work and family life? What kind of children will he raise if his attention and feelings are not here, but somewhere else?
Hierarchy in the system --chronological order of entry into the system: who is senior, who is junior, who is first, second, etc. Violation of the hierarchy leads to family entanglements. For example, a violation of the hierarchy in parent-child relationships (the child becomes a parent to his parents) leads to the emotional and functional burden of the child. Such a child does not study well, often gets sick, and does not have good relationships with peers. Often such children subsequently do not create their own family, or are unhappy in their family life. By serving their parents emotionally as a parent, they are not free to shape their lives. This violation of hierarchy has deep systemic roots. .
If a family had aborted children, miscarriages, or children who died early (which are not usually remembered in our culture), living children often subconsciously also live for them. In such a situation, even a simple recitation to the child, for example: “You are not my first, but my third. You could have older brothers or sisters,” can free him from family entanglement.
Belonging to the system. Each member of the system has the right to belong. For the family system, it does not matter whether this person was a saint or a criminal. He was - and that's the main thing. Someone's son, someone's grandfather, father... His place is precisely defined. Without him, his children would not have been born, everything would have been different in the family. If someone in the family is forgotten and thereby deprived of his right to belong to the system (for example: a grandfather who disappeared in the war, a repressed relative, an aborted child), someone else from the family system will take his place and live like him, reminding him of the excluded. Substitution will occur, or identification(See "Site Terminology"). That is, someone living today will be intertwined with a deceased person, or with a person of difficult fate. He himself will have a difficult fate, or live for another (aborted): eat for another (overweight), work (workaholism, hyperactivity), find it difficult to understand oneself, one’s actions, desires (inappropriate behavior)... A solution for such family intertwining : Restore the right of family membership to expelled members.
These are just small examples of what the arrangement method can work with. For a more complete picture, read the books of B. Hellinger, G. Weber, I. Kucera. (See “Recommended Reading”).
How does the arrangement method work?
The basis of the work of the constellation is the phenomenon that people take on the role of another person about whom they have no information, but in this role they are able to perceive and feel the same way as those whom they replace. The phenomenon is called “substitute perception”, and the people chosen for certain roles are called “surrogates”. Deputies, voicing their states and experiences, allow the psychologist to reconstruct the course of events in family history and gradually, step by step, unravel the tangle of family relationships. Return those excluded to the system, build the correct hierarchy, sort out the balance... The work is carried out by adding and moving deputies into the placement field, using various techniques and rituals. An indicator of the correctness of the solution for this system is the comfortable state of all participants in the arrangement (even feelings, absence of discomfort in the body...), signs of physical and mental relief in the client.
It is quite difficult to describe how the arrangement works. The work is carried out at different levels of client perception (visual, tactile, auditory, mental, emotional). What is common in all arrangements: the client living a new experience in a safe space. A person receives new information about his situation from the point of view of the system, lives this situation in a new way, thereby acquiring a new model of behavior and a new perception.
The best way to understand how a constellation works is to take part in it as a proxy. Your own feelings will tell you much more than a story about it. You will be able to gain insight into how family bonds work, what breaks relationships and what allows them to last. And once again - read books!
Types of arrangements.
What kind of arrangement to carry out depends on the content of the client request:
family constellations -working with family problems; this also includes arrangement of subpersonalities(working with intrapersonal conflict) and genus line placements ( when clarifying ancestral messages, family attitudes that negatively affect life...);
structural arrangements-- allow you to work with such phenomena (structures) as work, money, illness, fears, etc., these also include symptom constellations;
organizational arrangements - to resolve problems in labor teams;
Special area of application: used in working with script writers, business consultants, scientists. These also include arrangement of roles, arrangement of basic character traits, arrangement of structural formulas of stories.
client arrangements (refer to organizational arrangements)- arrangements for people in helping professions (doctors, psychologists, teachers, social workers...). This type of arrangement allows you to see the relationship between the one who helps and the one who is helped. Here you can see how effective and efficient the assistance is and adjust it, clarify the true motives for the assistance, clarify the goals of the participants in the process, and clarify the situation.
scenario arrangements
tetralemma arrangements -- arrangements for decision-making situations. They are used to find new ways to solve problems when creativity is blocked.
If the client is uncomfortable talking about his problem in a group, hidden arrangement, i.e. without voicing any information. The degree of openness of his work is regulated by the client himself. All information received in consultation and during the placement process is strictly confidential and not subject to discussion. All materials on the site related to real arrangement work do not contain information that violates the anonymity of clients; texts are published only with their consent.
Age limits.
Client age(from my constellation experience) can be different: in general from 14 to 65 years. The main criterion here is awareness of the decision to make an arrangement and serious motivation. How much does a person understand what he wants for himself in life from this work and why he needs it. It is unacceptable to treat the method as fortune telling and act out of curiosity; make requests that have nothing to do with you (in such cases, placement is not carried out!).
If the problematic situation concerns a small child or an adult who, for some serious reason, cannot participate in the work himself as a client (but gives his consent to this), you can work in a constellation with members of his family. (For example, such a case is described in the article “Children’s Symptom”. Returning a child in the family system to his, CHILDREN’S, place is healing for him, regardless of his absence during work.)
Age of deputies also has a wide range. It is quite rare to find people who cannot be substitutes. Reasons: severe tightness, tension in the body, which prevents you from feeling and catching bodily sensations. Or a strong emotional involvement in a certain problem (if there is something similar in the life of the deputy himself). Both can (and should!) be worked out.
Contraindications.
1. Pregnancy (the issue is decided individually).
2. Childhood age of the client.
3. Acute conditions (both physical and psychotic).
4. Alcohol and drug influence.
5. Unrealistic fantasy placement request.
Development of the method today.
Arrangement is a very young method, so it is quite flexible and not formalized. He is characterized by creativity and constant development.
In September 2007, the first International Euro-Asian Congress on system constellations in Russia “Connecting East and West” was held, the European part of which took place in Moscow, and the Asian part in Vladivostok.
This large event demonstrated the enormous variety of creative approaches within the method. For example: arrangements in the imagination Heinrich Breuer (Germany) for consulting work; Christina Essen (Austria) and her works with multi-layered messages through arrangement of spiritual and poetic texts, clarifying GLubin's life attitudes client ; arrangement of body parts in working with symptoms (Stefan Hausner, Germany). R installations with figures, arrangements with floor anchors,as individual counseling methods…
Alina Farkash presents a new column, the heroines of which anonymously (and therefore frankly) tell how they managed to solve their personal problems with the help of psychologists and psychological techniques.
- PROBLEM: CHILDREN'S RESULTS AGAINST MOM.
- METHOD: HELLINGER ARRANGEMENTS.
- HOW MANY SESSIONS: ONE.
- COST: 3,500 RUB.
You know, everyone always thought that I had an ideal mother... She is beautiful, cheerful and modern. My friends always ran to her for advice and to talk about life. But I never told her anything. I am, in general, a quiet phlegmatic, and the only person in the world who can drive me into hysterics and slamming doors in ten seconds is my mother.
How we couldn't talk
My prosperous mother beat me throughout my childhood. I was a homely girl, whose happiness in life was to hide in a corner with a book, I studied well, never left anywhere without calling, until now (until I was 29 years old!) I have not tried either vodka or cigarettes... Why beat me?
I needed a reason. I pestered my mother with this “why?”, my mother shouted in response about my indifference and the fact that I never understood her. I screamed that I didn’t know how I could help her at three years old, when she first…
Despite everything, I love my mother. And she me too. But the resentment was stronger: the question “for what?” burned out my brain, I didn’t know what answer I wanted to get, and I continued to ask it with the tenacity of a maniac. Mom exploded with the same persistence. I went to psychologists, some called for forgiveness, others - to stop “soul-destroying communication with my mother,” but no one answered why the hell my mother beat me.
How everyone shed tears
I found myself in Hellinger constellations by accident. I read stories on blogs, saw an announcement that deputies were invited to the formations, and decided to take a look. Everything took place in the center of Moscow: a small room with sofas around the perimeter, ten people, a psychologist-presenter. The person for whom the arrangement was being done came to the center and talked about his problem. And the presenter offered to choose from those present deputies for the participants in the conflict. Sometimes these were real people, sometimes already in the process of arrangement the psychologist asked to add the hero’s dead grandmothers or unborn children to the action. Then everything was very strange: the newly appointed relatives walked around the room, quarreled, refused to communicate, blamed each other and tried to get closer again. The presenter gently guided the deputies, asked them questions, and asked them to describe their feelings. The one for whom the arrangement was done sat and shed tears: “Yes, yes, dad always talks to me like that!” Or: “How do you know that grandma’s brother died in prison?” And then everyone stood hugging each other and sobbed in unison. I looked and thought that everything was far-fetched. That people see what they want to see. And it is not clear how this can help.
How mom got a substitute
I don’t know why during a break I approached the presenter and asked her to do the arrangement for me. I was shaking to the point of nervous stuttering. I was scared to hear from the deputy what I was always afraid to hear from my mother. I noticed someone who could play her role a long time ago - a beautiful plump blonde with a gentle face. Amazing resemblance to the original!
Then miracles began: the little brunette, who was me, ran around the room and hid in a corner (how did she know?), “Mom” chased her and tried to hug her. “I know she likes to be alone, but I can’t help it, I really want to hug her!” - “Mom” explained, and I was covered in sweat from how similar everything was to my reality.
“You see,” said the presenter, “she really loves you, even too much. Yes, she violates your boundaries, but she doesn’t know any other way.” I already knew that she loved me: “Ask her why she beat me.” “Mom” began to tell how tired she was and how no one loved her - in frighteningly familiar expressions and intonations. The presenter asked the girl portraying me to sit down, and me to stand in her (in my!) place. More precisely, climb onto a chair and look at “mom” from above. “From this position, do you also want to ask her similar questions?” I felt embarrassed: “mom” seemed small and defenseless. But the desire to find an answer was stronger than the awkwardness. I was shaking, I repeated, as if wound up: “Why! You! Me! Bila! “Mom” screamed back at me. “I wanted it, and I beat it,” the presenter suddenly interrupted our hysteria. I choked mid-sentence. And she continued: “Tell her that you are her mother and that you know better how to treat your child. That you were in a bad mood or PMS... That’s none of her business.” “Mom” obediently repeated this to me. And at that moment I suddenly felt better. Then, when I thought about everything that had happened, I realized that the presenter had relieved me of the burden of responsibility. It wasn't me who did something so bad that my loving and loving mother had to beat me while she was having PMS. Or she just wanted it that way. I have nothing to do with this. I was small and could not influence the situation in any way.
But at that moment I stood on a chair, looked stunned at “mom” and repeated: “Why did you want this?” She suddenly said: “I never wanted other children, only one like you. And you... You never let me get close to you.” And she added in a whisper: “I still want to hug you.” And suddenly a puzzle came together: my mother always said that she dreamed of a short, gray-eyed brunette, how she was afraid of giving birth to the “wrong” child, how happy she was when I turned out exactly as she had imagined. How I dreamed of a brother, but she refused to give birth to someone else: either we are undergoing renovations, then grandpa has a heart attack, then she needs to defend her dissertation∂, then we are saving for a car... I got off the chair and hugged my mother’s deputy. The stranger's blonde and I stood and cried. I raised my head: everyone was crying. It seems that this story was relevant not only for me.
How we went for a manicure
I was asked not to discuss anything with anyone for two months. I didn't discuss it. But on the way home, I dialed my mother’s number, and for the first time in many years we had a normal conversation. It was as if she had been bewitched - she never once accused me of indifference. And I didn’t remember her childhood insults. We even agreed to go for a manicure together! And they went. I don’t know if what they told me at that session is true; I even think that from the outside it seemed just as far-fetched and far-fetched as the other arrangements. But I got the answer to my question. And I felt better. And mom felt better: we actually love each other very much.
Systemic family constellations are a method of psychotherapy by the German philosopher Bert Hellinger, which is based on three laws: the law of belonging (connection), the law of hierarchy (order) and the law of give-take balance (exchange). The Hellinger technique of psychological constellation is good because:
- saves the client time and money, allowing you to find the cause of the problem and its solution within one or two sessions, whereas other methods could be useless;
- makes it possible to look so deeply into the client’s family system, gleaning information about the life and scenarios of past generations, that sometimes the results of therapy amaze even the constellation specialists themselves.
The Olvia Family Counseling Center in Moscow offers more than 20 psychotherapeutic practices, including family, individual, ancestral and many other psychological system constellations according to the Bert Hellinger method, collected for you in one place.
Systemic arrangements help make a person’s life happy, namely:
- realize the hidden causes of conflicts between spouses, “fathers and children” and find harmony in relationships;
- identify and eliminate the causes of diseases (improve well-being, get rid of symptoms, recover);
- solve problems in your personal life (get rid of loneliness and build a happy relationship with your partner);
- identify and eliminate the causes of fear of money and allow yourself to become rich and successful;
- choose the most suitable business partner or project for investment;
- understand and eliminate the causes of negative events (scenarios) recurring in life;
- determine your calling, understand what is best to do in life;
- choose the optimal solution in a difficult situation, conditions of lack of information, and much more.
The specialists of the Olvia Center not only conduct daily constellation sessions, which take place in a friendly atmosphere of mutual understanding, support and sympathy, but we have created for you a special training aimed at teaching systemic constellations according to Hellinger at a very affordable price for Moscow.
Group systemic constellations are an interesting and often unpredictable process that can be divided into several stages:
- a conversation with the client, during which the essence of the problem, his relationship with the family, as well as the necessary, in the opinion of the specialist, family details are clarified;
- selection of substitute family members among other session participants. It is at this stage that the phenomenon of substitutive perception arises, when participants begin to interact with each other like the people they replace in the arrangement;
- work to eliminate the causes of the problem. To eliminate violations of the laws of family systems, rearrangements of figures and pronouncing permissive phrases are used, and the actual state of affairs is recognized.
A few examples from systemic family constellations:
- During the arrangement of parts of the girl’s personality, a part was identified that felt internal guilt, was sad and did not want to live. It turned out that in this way the girl remembers her older aborted brothers and sisters. “They didn’t get anything, how can I be happy?” The internal feeling of guilt is that if they were born, then the girl most likely would not have been born, i.e. her birth cost the lives of her older brothers and sisters. The reluctance to live, the desire to die is compensation, an attempt to atone for one’s guilt. After talking with her brothers and sisters in the constellation, the girl realized that they did not need her sacrifice, that only memory and respect were enough for them. The feeling of joy and fullness of life immediately returned to her;
- request - husband left for someone else. The arrangement is as follows: the client’s mother and father are walking in different directions, the daughter is trying to keep her parents together, the husband is moving away from this situation. In the subsequent conversation, it turns out that her parents want to separate, but the woman does her best to prevent this, she has forgotten about her husband and is trying to solve her parents’ problems. The constellator's proposal to the client is to decide on priorities: either devote her life to her parents and solving their problems, or focus on her relationship with her husband (man). Only she herself can make the choice;
- a girl came to a family constellation with a question about why men who previously earned good money, as soon as they start dating her, immediately have problems with money. The thing turned out to be that there was no reciprocal energy flow of gratitude from the girl and after some time the men became de-energized, subconsciously did not want to bring money to her, because... didn't feel any recoil.
Like any other method, systemic family constellations have their limitations in application. Constellations are not a panacea for all ills, although their scope of application is very wide. In some cases, other tools, individual for each person, are better suited, and it is best to talk about this with a specialist. However, it is the systemic constellations according to the Hellinger method that make it possible to identify the hidden causes of conflicts in family systems and determine the negative influences of generic scenarios.
Find out more about what types of constellations are held at the Olvia Center and what is right for you, by calling the numbers listed in the section “
It has long been known that a person’s motives and actions are controlled not only by his own mind and will. Personal behavior is also influenced by unconscious generic scripts. Thanks to the method of systemic constellations, a person can become aware of these scenarios, work with them and get out of the traps that prevented them from achieving their goals.
Concept of arrangement
Constellation is a therapy method whose goal is to help the client become aware of the deep subconscious processes that are the cause of the problem. The constellation method can be called systemic (works with generic, family, organizational problems) and short-term (a small number of meetings with a therapist that occur at large intervals).
The founder of the constellation method was Bert Hellinger. Having summarized his knowledge and experience in philosophy, psychology, pedagogy and theology, he identified patterns that lead to various family tragedies. Based on this, he developed the method of family constellations, which has become quite popular in modern psychotherapy.
The term arrangement is the author’s and most accurately reflects the essence of what is happening. While working, people are spaced out in the workspace. Everyone's place is determined intuitively. A person with a problem arranges other group members (substitutes); the arrangement he makes reflects his subconscious perception of the problem.
What problems do system constellations work with?
Constellations work with “family weaves,” a concept introduced by Hellinger himself. Family entanglements are unfinished processes of the past in the family, which on a subconscious level involve currently living members of the family in what happened a long time ago. In the theory of system constellations, all this is explained by the balancing of the system, when descendants are forced to complete what their ancestors began: to experience grief, live certain events for someone, restore justice, etc.
Thus, a person falls into the trap of his subconscious, and his fate begins to intertwine with the fate of one of his ancestors. The task of systemic constellations is to unravel such interweavings and free up life resources that could not be used due to involvement in past events.
Family entanglements are easily identified: if the problematic situation being experienced has no real explanation, it may be caused by an entanglement. For example, an intelligent and beautiful woman cannot find a life partner for a long time. A person works a lot and hard, but remains poor. A person protects himself from illness in every possible way, actively monitors his health, but still often gets sick. Such situations may seem like a coincidence, but in most cases there is a family intertwining behind them.
If the feelings a person experiences are too intense for a particular situation (irrational fears, unreasonable jealousy, sadness and despondency for no apparent reason), most likely this person is intertwined with someone from the family, and these feelings do not belong to him.
The reasons for family entanglements are different. They are determined during placement. Each arrangement, like the client for whom it is performed, is unique in its own way. But there are systemic laws, the restoration of which allows a person to get out of the interweaving.
Balance between “taking” and “giving”
In every relationship we take something and give something. This is the only way the relationship can continue to exist. When this balance is disturbed, family entanglement is likely to occur. For example, as a result of an imbalance between husband and wife, incest may occur. If the spouse contributes much more to the relationship than the spouse (anything can be given and taken in a relationship: feelings, money, children, gifts, care, etc.), the child may try to balance this relationship at the expense of himself. In this case, the relationship between the daughter and the father will be the return of the wife’s debt. On a subconscious level, the daughter does this for the benefit of her mother.
If the balance is not immediately restored where it was disrupted, the need to repay the “debt” passes on to the next generations. At the same time, it becomes unclear who, for whom and for what reason should suffer, but the system’s need for balance will be preserved. The descendant who will be entrusted with the task of restoring balance will most likely either be sick (with serious health problems) or suffer some other losses.
In situations where a descendant becomes a kind of rescuer for an older member of the clan, a violation of the family hierarchy also occurs: the younger one protects the older one. There is a change of roles and a violation of the chronology of events. A person living in the present time lives something for his ancestor. His own destiny fades into the background, and therefore he cannot be happy in his family and be successful at work and in society.
Hierarchy in the system
Hierarchy is the chronological order in which family members enter the system: eldest, youngest. Violation of the hierarchy also provokes family entanglements. An example of a violation of hierarchy is when a child becomes a parent to his own parents. If a child is born to infantile and psychologically immature spouses, he has to take the position of an adult in relation to his own parents. Such children grow up responsible and develop well, but at the same time they often have serious health problems and may not have good relationships with peers. In adulthood, such people create their own family, but feel unhappy in it.
If there have been early deaths, aborted children, or miscarriages in a family, they are usually kept quiet in our culture. Children living after them can subconsciously live life for them. In such a situation, it is often enough to simply tell the child that there were already children in the family before him (or there could have been). Restoring the memory of the unborn or the dead can free one from family entanglement.
System affiliation
Every person has the right to be part of their kind. For the family system, it does not matter whether he was a righteous man or a criminal. The main thing is that he was there. He was a son, a father, a grandfather, a great-grandfather. It has a clear place in the system. His children would not have been born without him, the clan could have changed. If someone from the family system is deliberately forgotten, he is deprived of the right to belong to the system. For example, a grandfather or great-grandfather who disappeared during the war, a repressed family member, a prisoner, an aborted child. To restore justice, someone else from the family must take the place of this person and live like him. In this way, he will unconsciously remind the other members of the clan about the forgotten person.
It turns out that someone currently living will be intertwined with a deceased member of the clan. He himself may have a difficult fate (if a substitute member of the family system had it) or will live for two (early deceased children, miscarriages or aborted children), that is, eat for two (overweight), work for two (workaholism), have poor awareness your Self, your needs and desires. The problem is solved by restoring the right to belong to one’s clan.
The principle of operation of system arrangements
The constellation is based on the phenomenon that people step into the role of another person about whom they know nothing. But in this role, they perceive what is happening and feel the same way as the one they are replacing would do. This phenomenon is designated by the term “substitute perception”, and people playing certain roles are called “substitutes”. Deputies voice their feelings and experiences, which help the psychologist gradually restore the course of events in the family system, explore the problem, build the correct hierarchy and restore order to the balance.
In the process of work, the psychologist can add or move substitutes in the arrangement field. Various techniques and rituals are used. The correctness of the decisions made is indicated by the psychological comfort of all participants in the arrangement, as well as the client’s feeling of relief.
In general, it is quite difficult to describe the principle of operation of family constellations. The work is carried out at several levels of perception: visual, auditory, emotional, tactile. With the help of constellation, the client can experience new experiences in a safe environment. New information is revealed to the client from the point of view of the system, he experiences his situation in a new way.
To understand how a systemic arrangement works, it is enough to participate in it as a deputy. Your own feelings will show much more than any theoretical information.
Age restrictions
The age of participants in system constellations can be different, from 14 to 65 years. It is important that a person consciously decides to participate in the arrangement and clearly understands why he needs it. It is unacceptable to come to a constellation for the sake of interest, treat it as fortune telling, or present irrelevant requests.
If the problem concerns a small child or an elderly person who cannot attend the constellation himself, you can work through his problem in a constellation with members of his family. Such arrangements are often carried out by parents for their children. The age of the deputy allows almost everyone to participate in the arrangement.
It is quite rare to meet a person who is not suitable for the role of deputy. Reasons: preventing you from feeling tension in the body, excessive tightness, closedness. It is also better to refuse to participate in the constellation if the client’s problem causes a strong emotional involvement of the deputy (for example, something similar happened in his life).
What effect does the constellation have on the participants?
As practice shows, during the arrangement all its participants feel a therapeutic effect. The client himself, who purposefully asked for help, as well as his deputies and even the psychologist, go through changes.
Client
Everything is logical here: a person made a request and received a solution to his problem. For a whole hour (and sometimes two, three or four) a person receives help and energy from other participants. It is important that the client understands that he also needs to give his best. No one can make him happy except himself. The therapist and surrogates become merely conduits to his own insight. No one can walk this path for him. And if the client himself is not ready to accept responsibility for himself and begin to change, the constellations will not help him in any way.
Therefore, in some cases, therapists refuse a client a constellation without explaining the reasons. When a person comes without a specific request, simply out of interest or with a mocking look in his eyes: “Well, surprise me,” you should not waste the strength and energy of the entire group on him.
Deputy
Typically, people who agree to be substitutes think that they are selflessly helping someone else get rid of their problem and see the situation more clearly from the outside. In reality, their contribution is not so selfless. They also get a lot from their work. It is believed that substitutes receive a slight therapeutic effect from the arrangement. But in some cases, by participating in someone else’s arrangement, a person receives more than the one for whom this arrangement is performed.
In practice, there was a case when, in the systemic constellation of one client, a story was discovered in which one of his ancestors cursed God because her child died. At this moment, one of the deputies began to cry, and then sob loudly, saying that she was experiencing feelings not from the role, but her own. Then she said that she herself experienced such a situation, but was never able to fully overcome her grief. During the arrangement, the woman released her knee-jerk emotions, after which she felt better.
Placers believe that deputies do not fall into their roles by chance. For example, if you observe a regular group, you will notice that the roles of offended children are most often played by those who themselves have unresolved problems with their parents; the roles of mistresses and seductresses are played by girls who are in this role in real life.
Observer
Everyone present participates in the arrangement; it is not possible to simply look at what is happening from the outside. Sometimes observers (viewers) experience unusual feelings and emotions, as well as sensations in the body. This is a response to the events of the arrangement. The therapeutic effect on the observer is manifested in the following: a person observes the processes, connections and interweavings in someone else’s family system. This allows him to take a different look at his own family system.
Therapist
At first glance, it may seem that the arranger receives only professional experience and material benefits from his work. This is partly true. But the therapeutic process is more than a commodity sold for money. Constellators rarely talk about this, but they not only help people solve their problems. Unbeknownst to yourself and others, they are being worked on themselves. It happens that the stories of clients, which are in no way intertwined with the therapist’s life situation, over time become a storehouse of knowledge for the psychologist and help him solve his own problems.
