It's time to sort out another one. This time the written work contains many speech errors, so do not use it as an example. The most interesting thing is that the author of this text is a fairly prepared graduate, and this fact allows us to draw a disappointing conclusion about the quality of speech of the average eleventh grader. But a simple statement will not solve the problem, so let’s look at the shortcomings so that you remember them when writing your own texts. We will look at the errors after the essay, which I publish with minor edits:
“Do you need to admit your own mistakes? Of course, each person will answer this question differently. In my opinion, if we make mistakes, we must admit their. A person who knows how to admit his mistakes tries to correct the situation and does not draw conclusions. And if you do not admit your guilt, then the person will not do output 1, and in the future you may encounter the same error again.
Let us turn to the story of M.A. Sholokhov. The main character of the work, Andrei Sokolov, is a man of honor who went through two wars and survived the terrible agony of captivity. Andrey committed your 2 mistake before leaving for the front. When the relatives saw off the hero, happens 3 unpleasant . Irina Sokolova mourned her husband and said that they would never see each other again, to which Andrei pushes Irina away. He couldn't listen to his wife bury him alive. Deep in his heart, the hero kept hope that this would not be their last meeting. Having pushed away his dearest person, Andrei regrets what he did and cannot forget or forgive himself for it. He admits his mistake, but, unfortunately, it was no longer possible to correct it. Irina Sokolova and two daughters died during the war. Andrei Sokolov made an irreparable mistake, and he will remember it for the rest of his life.
Let us also remember one of the heroes of the novel by A.S. Pushkin. Unlike Andrei Sokolov, Alexey Shvabrin is a dishonest person, capable of treason and betrayal. He does a lot irreparable actions 5 that endanger the lives of other people. The most significant mistake in the hero’s life is going over to the side of the rebel Pugachev. This act of Shvabrin served as betrayal 6 The Motherland and all the inhabitants of the Belogorsk fortress. Alexey Shvabrin himself does not realize his mistakes; for him, making them is the norm of life. Alexey does not admit his mistakes and, accordingly, does not draw conclusions, and most likely the hero may encounter his failures again.
every 8 the mistakes we have made, we must answer for ourselves. A person who admits his mistakes deserves more respect than a person who renounces his guilt and does not consider himself guilty.
(322 words)
Notes:
- A if you do not admit your guilt, then a person will not do output 1...
Grammatical error: will make (who? what?) conclusion(V.p.), and not (who? what?) output(R.p.)
In general, in the essay there are often unjustified repetitions (tautology): “ If necessary to acknowledge your own mistakes? Of course, each person will answer this question differently. In my opinion, if we make mistakes, we must to acknowledge their. A person who knows how to acknowledge his mistakes, tries to correct the situation and does not draw conclusions..."
- Andrey committed your 2 mistake before leaving for the front.
Pleonasm (use of an extra word): it’s already clear whose mistake Andrey is making.
- When the relatives saw off the hero, happens 3 unpleasant conversation for Andrey with his wife Irina 4.
Incorrect use of tense forms of verbs and word order, leading to ambiguous understanding of the sentence.
Verb usage is happening(non-Soviet, present) in the main part of the SPP is inappropriate, since in appearance and tense this predicate must correlate with the verb saw off(non-sov.v., past tense) in the subordinate part. Right: " When the relatives saw off the hero, an unpleasant conversation took place..."
Unjustified violation of word order ( an unpleasant conversation for Andrey with his wife Irina) makes it difficult to understand the meaning of a sentence. Right: " An unpleasant conversation for Andrey with his wife Irina"
- He does a lot irreparable actions 5
Lexical incompatibility: a mistake may be irreparable, but not an action.
- This act of Shvabrin served as betrayal 6 The Motherland and all the inhabitants of the Belogorsk fortress.
Speech error associated with lexical inconsistency. You cannot say: “Served betrayal.” To correct the error, the sentence must be constructed differently. At least this: “Shvabrin’s act is a betrayal of the Motherland and ....”
- Summarizing what has been said, we can conclude that every 8 the mistakes we have made, we must answer for ourselves.
Open the explanatory dictionary of D.N. Ushakov and read an article about the pronoun k every: 1) Every in a given quantitative series, any of its own, recognized as equivalent, both one, and the other, and the third, etc. Is this the meaning implied in the essay? No, here we are not talking about equal errors, but about all of them. So it’s correct: “ Summing up what has been said, we can conclude that we must answer for all the mistakes we have made ourselves.”
I had a boss, by the way, probably the best 
, who taught me very, very much about life and business. He is a very progressive and fast person. One day he said in an insinuating tone: "inability admit mistakes- the biggest problem!" I also thought why a person like him said this so meekly and at the same time strongly. And I remembered this phrase because I respected him (it’s hard not to respect a person who manages to manage several billion-dollar projects and at the same time lead an interesting and rich life).
Then time passed, and the phrase was spinning in my head and I began to notice how many problems I have when I do not admit mistakes. There were a lot of them! It's like evil fate, it turns out. I just didn’t pay attention to it before. And then I began to notice that almost all people don’t know how to admit mistakes, even if they tell everyone and themselves that they can.
After all, admitting a mistake is not just telling someone: “I’m wrong or I’m wrong.” This is to realize that you are wrong, but this is already difficult. Because everyone always has their own truth, and until the rooster pecks, we will fight for this truth, like a bull with a matador.
And you know what else I noticed over time. It is not necessary to say out loud that the mistake is understood and acknowledged. It is important to understand this for yourself and draw conclusions. Because it happens that by admitting your mistake out loud you put yourself in a vulnerable position, so sometimes it’s better to remain silent if possible. Or they don’t expect recognition from you, but you deliberately confess, thereby showing that “What a great guy I am!” Well, if you’ve already been pushed against the wall and you clearly see that you’re wrong, it’s better to admit it both to yourself and out loud! It will be easier for you and everyone! And most importantly, don’t leave yourself feeling guilty!
Cases are different and people are different. But practice and observe yourself in a week. How many times have you admitted, at least internally, that you are wrong, if indeed you are wrong? This is where, of course, the dilemma and discussion begins. But notice, it always begins in internal dialogue in favor of YOURSELF! And to be objective, sometimes it’s worth looking from the outside.
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The one who does nothing makes no mistakes.
Theodore Roosevelt
It is common for every person to make mistakes. But not admitting your mistakes is the biggest mistake. This is the height of stubbornness, which is often confused with determination, although there is a big difference between these concepts.
- Stubbornness - behavior, in which a person ignores people’s demands on him, does not follow instructions, does it out of spite.
- Determination is trait, which helps a person achieve the desired results.
Stubborn people face misunderstanding and judgment from others. The inability to integrate into society and the reluctance to admit mistakes leads to conflicts. The personality becomes aggressive and withdrawn. She may develop mental problems.
The ability to admit your own mistakes is important for personal development. We will tell you how to develop it in the article. By following the recommendations, you will learn to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings in communication and will be able to control your emotions in any situation.
Why don't people admit their mistakes?
Everyone knows the feeling of admitting one's own mistake. Shame, a feeling of personal defeat, fall. They stop many from confessing in such situations.
The reasons for reluctance to admit a mistake can be external and internal.
External
These are circumstances that we cannot influence or only partially influence. They do not depend on us and can happen at any time.
- Vehicle breakdown.
- Bad weather conditions.
- Late time.
- Small child at home.
- Unseen circumstances.
- Trauma or accident.
- Another person interfered.
- Delay at work.
- Disease.
Domestic
Cause |
How it manifests itself |
| Defeated, but proud - what could be more stupid for self-esteem and authority in the eyes of other people. Covering up your guilt or mistake is a real defeat, but admitting, apologizing or correcting a mistake is a victory. |
|
| Fear of mistakes | Many people attach great importance to the opinions of others and are afraid of falling in the eyes of others, being ridiculed and being criticized. Your mistake may be noticed, even brought up for discussion. But it won't last long. Other people's mistakes are quickly forgotten. Only we remember our mistakes, because only we experience them deeply. |
| Complexes come from childhood. People are afraid of the prospect of being ridiculed, of looking weak. Children hide their fears behind cunning, even lying. This carries over into adulthood. The Napoleon complex has a great influence when pride interferes with making the right decisions. |
|
| Fear of losing status | You need to be aware of your status personally, and not rely on someone else’s opinion. It should be remembered that gaining status is always associated with mistakes and blunders; this is inevitable. Accept it and prepare yourself. It is common for a person who moves forward to make mistakes. |
| Dependence on the desire to act or look ideal in the eyes of others forces one to be guided by behavioral stereotypes, follow other people’s ideals, conform to other people’s ideas, and may even live a life that is not one’s own. |
Few dare to show their shortcomings and look for an external reason for excuses. As a result, relief comes, shame does not weigh, and in the eyes of those around you, you are justified. But only for the near future. If other mistakes follow and the picture does not improve towards admitting mistakes, the person will lose trust and respect in the eyes of others
In fact, an apparent defeat turns into a victory for a person who admits his guilt, both in the eyes of other people and in his own. This is a sign of strength.
You need to be able to be flexible in relationships with people, in relation to performing professional tasks. If you take on a task, you are also responsible for it.
What are the consequences of this behavior?
The collision of internal attitudes that contradict each other leads to psychological discomfort.
It manifests itself in a painful perception of the situation, a feeling of shame and leads to a search for ways to self-justify one’s mistakes. This is an attempt to remove the burden of responsibility from oneself and shift it onto circumstances or other people by stubbornly denying that one is wrong, sometimes even using cunning or deception. This is the position of the victim.
Why you need to admit mistakes
The trend in the moral development of society is such that people who are able to admit their mistakes enjoy great respect and honor. There are few strong-willed people. They are valuable, they are held tightly, they are needed. After all, their honesty, high level of self-criticism and willpower deserve absolute trust.
Defeat can always be turned into victory: correct a mistake, do something much better. And in the professional sphere, such character traits will be highly appreciated. Admitting your guilt frees you from psychological burden.
Someone who knows how to admit that they are wrong has the ability to control emotions, respect other people’s opinions, be critical of themselves and strive to correct their shortcomings.
To do this, you need to constantly develop and learn to accept constructive criticism.
How to learn to admit that you are wrong
Most people are willing to accept apologies and forgive. After confessing, you need to internally calm yourself, praise and stop self-flagellation. Evaluate not yourself and your behavior as a whole, but a single action.
There is an effective psychological exercise - "Mistake". It will help you learn to accept yourself with your shortcomings, without being afraid to admit it to yourself and others. Especially if you are prone to exaggerated experiences and see mistakes as a disaster.
Step 1
- To make it easier to accept your own, even serious, mistake, you need to express it in a funny way. Say to yourself ironically: “ Error" or " There was an error", accompanying what was said with a frivolous gesture of hands.
- You can copy some animated character. You need to pronounce it in a playful manner, being in a relaxed internal state.
- First, say it out loud without witnesses or in the presence of friends. Bring it to the level of a ritual. Then you can do this mentally.
- After confessing, you will not want to engage in destructive self-criticism.
Step 2
Switch your perception from negative to positive:
- Mentally or actually put your arms around your shoulders;
- Say out loud or silently: “ I'm good" Or create another phrase that carries the same meaning.
By swearing, we turn on the self-defense system. Learn to protect yourself with praise. Try praising another person during an argument and you will witness his transformation.
A person who has developed the ability to be stronger than pride and has learned to switch perceptions from negative to positive becomes a self-confident, independent and self-sufficient director of relationships with people.
Step 3
Go to action. Give yourself the attitude: “ Work" Get to work fixing the error. But first, apply the rule of error differentiation: separate minor mistakes from global, significant ones. Erase the first ones from your memory, work on the second ones so as not to repeat them.
Learn to accept criticism, trust the advice and corrections of those people who are guidelines for you, in whose sincere and friendly attitude you are confident.
Also learn to resist the temptation to criticize others over small matters. Apply the error differentiation rule. If it is necessary to express a critical opinion, do so in a matter-of-fact manner in a friendly and condescending manner. Don't make labels about a person's personal characteristics.
When and how to admit your own mistakes
Main psychological attitudes:
- Admit it immediately the moment you realize your mistake and your guilt. Do not delay, so as not to change your mind, succumbing to doubts.
- Make a confession in a categorical form: “ Yes, it’s my fault for what happened and I’m ready to take responsibility"Video for the material
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Admitting that you made a mistake can be very difficult if you are trying to keep up your face. However, in the eyes of other people, a person who knows how to admit mistakes and move on is more likely to gain respect than someone who gets angry and avoids responsibility. Ultimately, by continuing to refuse to admit that you are wrong or causing problems, you can lose your reputation, relationships, your job or career.
As difficult as it may seem to learn to admit mistakes, this skill will free you and allow you and others to move on to better relationships or better outcomes. Get ready to admit your mistakes!
Steps
- When you make a mistake, your inner critic goes crazy, blaming you for everything, making the mistake look even worse than it actually is. You only think about your mistake in a negative light.
- Following this mistake, you lower your self-esteem, call yourself stupid, stupid, hopeless. You may even convince yourself that “I will never get anything right,” thereby eliminating any opportunity to learn from your mistakes.
- Having made a mistake in any area, you immediately stop believing in your thoughts and ideas, and also begin to think about the actions you take and the decisions you make several times.
- You tell yourself that this mistake will “never happen again” and let the past become a warning that stifles your growth and development, preventing you from taking worthwhile risks for your future career, studies, life plans, etc. Soon you will become an irritated recluse who repeats the same actions that will not result in a “mistake.”
- Your idea of "error" is distorted. You perceive any oversight, be it a forgotten cup of tea for a loved one in the morning or one day's unchecked spelling on a document, as a disaster that will disappoint others.
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Reframe the idea of what it means to make mistakes. First of all, mistakes happen, they will happen later, even after you “learn your lesson.” Life can be generous with mistakes, as well as with opportunities to learn, love, and chances to accomplish what you set out to do, if you decide to accept them. Secondly, mistakes show us what we are capable of, showing us what we cannot do. When you're ready to admit your efforts were a mistake, remember that Edison got the light bulb only after ten thousand attempts. Thirdly, a large number of mistakes result in scientific, business, architectural, creative inventions and discoveries. In addition, with the help of mistakes you can understand something about yourself. Mistakes have a place in our lives.
Admit your mistakes. One of the best and most effective ways to respond to a mistake is to take responsibility for it, especially if it upsets, harms, or bothers other people. And it's a good idea to admit a mistake if it's bothering you or the person you're trying to become, so try not to place the blame on someone else. Stop running away from mistakes, otherwise they will continue to haunt you.
After this, try to make amends. This may be easier than it seems, unless your pride is holding you back. Read the second part of this article about how you should admit your mistakes to a certain person.
- Read “How to Make Amends” to dive deeper into this topic.
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Accept your behavior but don't put yourself down. Instead of calling yourself a whole bunch of negative names, realize that while you could have done better/differently/more considerately than you did, perhaps mitigating factors such as tiredness, hunger, a sense of urgency, a desire to please, etc. overtook your more balanced self. Concentrate on how to deal with the underlying reason rather than on belittling your whole self. Accept your behavior, but don't criticize yourself. Instead of calling yourself names, understand that while you could have done better/different/more thoughtfully than you did, you may have had extenuating circumstances such as being tired, hungry, in a hurry, wanting to please, etc. and they took you by surprise. Focus on getting to the root cause rather than putting yourself down.
- For example, you can tell yourself something like “In the future, I will eat/sleep/take all factors into account/call a friend, etc.” before making a difficult decision/drawing conclusions/creating a project, etc.”
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Learn to move on. Looking back means drowning in negative thoughts about the past. You cannot change the past, but you can live more consciously in the present. Learn from your mistakes, but don't stop there. The next time a mistake is made, this understanding will help you see events in a different light.
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Strive for excellence. Many people who are unable to admit mistakes suffer from what is called a “perfection complex.” Striving for perfection can show you wallowing in your mistakes all your life, leaving you feeling demoralized all the time. Instead, strive for perfection, but at the same time accept that you are imperfect.
- You don't have to be the best at everything. You don't have to be the brightest, the most animated, the most beautiful, or the best dressed person in the group. If you think that you need to be the best, you will be consumed by thoughts of your shortcomings, and almost everything you do and how you act will seem wrong in your eyes.
- You are perfect just the way you are and can continue to learn and develop.
Warnings
- You can't control how other people will react. However, you can make sure that You you move on yourself.
- Stop punishing yourself for not being a good enough person or for making mistakes. You are good enough, and everyone has made mistakes in the past on their journey to perfection.
- Learn from your mistakes. Evaluate the mistake and how you can avoid making it in the future. If you forget this incident, you are likely to make a mistake again.
Consider how you felt when you made a mistake. If you're a perfectionist or an overactive self-critic, mistakes you make can scare you to death or make you believe you'll have to hide them or blame them on someone else. Yet these actions will cause new problems, and the situation will only get worse, or you will have to face even worse consequences. If any of these options apply to you, you will definitely need to apply the methods used in this article:
By admitting your mistakes, you can avoid aggravating relationships. Do you admit your mistakes? Are you always right? It is worth sincerely apologizing for your excessive persistence or awkwardness, and your work colleague or your loved one will be conquered by your courtesy. He himself will begin to apologize and say that it is most likely not your fault. That this is just an awkward misunderstanding. Don't believe me?
Try it yourself
Trying to defend our mistakes shows immaturity of character and, perhaps, our stupidity. We often observe verbal battles among preschool children. The child defends his position at any cost: by fighting or screaming. If the child is not prompted, and even worse, if the child constantly observes in his family a violent model of problem solving (upholding his own rightness at any cost), then do not expect good things. That’s why it’s so important to teach children to admit their own mistakes from childhood.
We all have the right to make mistakes. It’s not for nothing that they say: “Only those who do nothing make no mistakes.” And the more responsibility you take on yourself, the more cones will fall on your head. Because we learn everything in our life through trial and error.
The older we get, the more we realize: all questions and problems can and should be resolved calmly. That’s why it’s so important to receive instructions in childhood: we learn to negotiate, we learn to listen and hear our interlocutor; We learn to respect other people’s opinions, without losing the right to our own point of view.
Admitting our own mistakes speaks of our maturity and wisdom.
There will definitely be mistakes. There is no need to be afraid of them. Everyone makes mistakes. When I worked with kids, I often uttered this thought to my students: “All adults were little once: both me and your parents. And we were often wrong too. And we didn’t succeed at everything right away. It’s impossible to learn everything, but you will definitely become the best at something. For example, the best striker on your hockey team. And your brother may become a talented artist. Don't be afraid to make mistakes! We learn from mistakes."
And years later, from personal observations, I want to say: this attitude is very effective. You just need to give children, and even adults, some hints:
- While a person is alive, he works and studies, which means he has the right to make mistakes. The main thing: do not step on the same rake over and over again. We learn to analyze and gain experience, then mastery is revealed and talents are revealed. What is talent? These are thousands of drops of sweat and 5 drops of genius.
- Wherever you are, no matter who you interact with, always treat others the way you would like to be treated. Stay good people.
I really want to live surrounded by kind, understanding, versatile, well-mannered people. People who know how to admit their mistakes, and therefore know how to forgive the mistakes of others. What is needed for this? Try to become such a person yourself.
Here's a good example
Elbert Hubbard receives an angry letter from a reader. It just breathes curses. This is what the author’s answer looked like: “...If you think about it, I myself don’t completely agree with it (the article). Not everything I wrote yesterday is what I like today. I am glad to know your opinion on this issue. Next time you're in the neighborhood, be sure to visit us and we'll have a good talk about this..."
How can you be offended by a person who wrote such a disarming letter?
The city takes politeness and tact. By admitting our mistakes, our communication with opponents becomes useful and effective.
