Find a way out of any situation. We figure out how to find a way out of a difficult situation

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No matter who you are and no matter what you achieve, trouble can always happen, and you will feel like life will never get better. However, remember that it's your attitude that matters, and here's how you can change it.

Zen Buddhist adept and Harvard professor Robert Waldinger, who leads a study on adult development, followed 724 men for 75 years to understand what makes our lives happy.

It turns out that the basis of happiness is inclusion in a community and healthy relationships. To feel happy, you need to live surrounded by people who are ready to help.

Here are six ways to cope with the strong emotions that often accompany life's challenges. Sometimes they don't help directly solve the problem, but they provide clarity of vision, and that's a lot. Regardless of the outcome, your decisions will not be out of fear - they will be informed.

1. Stop Negative Self-Talk

The first step is to let go of limiting delusions, but it is equally important to stop negative self-talk by asking yourself:

  • What facts for and against are available to me?
  • Am I relying on facts or my own interpretations?
  • Perhaps I'm jumping to negative conclusions?
  • How do I know if my thoughts are true?
  • Is it possible to look at this situation differently?
  • Is the situation really as dire as I think it is?
  • Does this mindset help me achieve my goals?

Sometimes it is enough to admit that you are indulging in self-deprecation to look at the problem from a different perspective.

2. Don't lose perspective

Your current problem in the context of your entire life is a mere trifle, it does not define you as a person, it is not a reflection of your entire history, your strengths and achievements.

We often see only what is right in front of us, forgetting about all the past positive experiences. Keep a holistic view of your life in mind and ask yourself:

  • What's the worst that could happen? Is this likely?
  • What about the best?
  • What is most likely to happen?
  • What will this mean in five years?
  • Perhaps I am making too much of this issue?

3. Learn from your reactions

“Between stimulus and response there is a gap, in this gap we have the freedom to choose our reaction. Our development and happiness depend on this choice,” Viktor Frankl.

How do you respond to a problem? What advice would you give to your best friend in this situation? At every moment we can completely control our reaction to any stimulus, and today psychology knows five ways to improve control over the reaction in a difficult situation:

  • Think about what kind of person you would like to become
  • Think about the meaning and origin of your reactions
  • See the results of your actions
  • Imagine the best answer
  • Learn to treat yourself with compassion

4. Learn from the other party's reactions.

Harvard researchers have shown that using empathy in disagreements is essential for conflict resolution and is a critical prerequisite for successful negotiation outcomes.

5. Assess the situation from the perspective of an outside observer

If you are an observer, then you can step outside the situation, put aside your emotions and observe your reaction.

With this level of self-awareness, even when you are in the middle of a conflict, you are aware of yourself and can separate your personality from the situation.

6. Look outside for help.

In any situation where your own experience is lacking, seek wise advice. Put your ego aside and ask for critical perspectives and constructive feedback, and once you've accomplished the task, help others learn from your experience.

Remember that you and your problem are not a single whole. The problem is just one aspect of your journey, and it is also a source of growth. Don't run away from challenges, because they make us better. And when it seems that everything is lost, remember: this too shall pass.

Prepared by Taya Aryanova

No matter how hard we try to achieve success, no matter what we strive for, what we dream about, and no matter what we do, life is unpredictable and sometimes presents unpleasant surprises. Fatigue suddenly sets in, even familiar and simple tasks seem impossible, and irritation becomes the most important feeling. But no matter how great the difficulties, when a person is mentally prepared to solve the most difficult problems, he is able to find a way out of any difficult situation.

We figure out how to find a way out of a difficult situation

Before you begin to solve the difficulties that have arisen, you need to clearly define several points for yourself: the cause of their occurrence, those responsible, the influence and consequences. The right way out is easiest to find only when you know exactly what you are dealing with. Just take your time to understand how you found yourself in such a situation, otherwise you may come to the wrong conclusions and instead of solving them, you will only worsen your situation.

First, stop being nervous, blaming everyone around you, imagining terrible pictures, feeling sorry for yourself and suffering. Now more than ever you need a cool head and a calm mind.

First, describe everything that happened. Remember what actions led to this. Consider whether there is an opportunity to change or correct them. Sometimes it is enough to admit your mistakes to improve the situation and avoid even greater troubles.

Determine whether there are those who are guilty of them. But don’t rush to blame everyone around you for your troubles. Don't try on the role of a victim, it won't help anything. Dispassionately analyze who influenced you, your decision, or shared the idea that caused the difficulty. If there is such a person, limit your communication with him by refusing to discuss the tasks facing you in the future. This will prevent this from happening again in the future.

Just don’t “burn your bridges” trying to prove to others how wrong the offender is. Your task is to improve your own life, and not to force the culprit to answer for his actions. Never waste time correcting others, there is not much time. After all, he may not have had malicious intent, but simply did not have the necessary information and overestimated his strength when making an intelligent decision.

Assess the impact of this problem on your life, how negative and dangerous it is. The amount of time you have to resolve complex issues with the least loss for yourself and your loved ones depends on this.

Most difficulties arise through the fault of the person himself, namely from his attitude to what happened. Only people are capable of losing their temper over a trifle or not paying attention in time to what was important. Therefore, sooner or later we have to deal with solving problems that require both effort and resources, although this could have been avoided.

After all, one of the most important qualities should, of course, be the ability to foresee and prevent the occurrence of the slightest troubles in life, for which you need to learn to assess in advance the possible consequences of decisions made. But don’t be upset, even if nothing can be fixed, there are still many decisions ahead that will require a serious approach when making them, if you don’t want to constantly look for a way out of difficult situations.


To find the best solution in the circumstances, it is very important to understand whether the situation is really hopeless, or whether you are exaggerating. Imagine the worst-case scenario if you do nothing. Is it really that scary or is there a chance to reduce its negative impact?

Now think about what is better to do: leave everything as it is or you need to show all your willpower and ingenuity to change the state of affairs. Try to look at what is happening from the outside, to see if everything is as bad for you as it seems at first glance.

For example, you have problems at work that could lead to dismissal. Only you are to blame for what happened, and you need to put in too much effort to find a way out. Think about why you made a mistake: you are tired or subconsciously you no longer like your position or work and want to do something new.



Photo: how to find a way out of a difficult situation

Depending on the answer, you can either focus all your efforts on coping with the difficulties that have arisen, or don’t waste time and start looking for a job that will allow you to be fulfilled and bring you joy. When a person enjoys what he does, he takes his responsibilities much more seriously and attentively, avoiding mistakes.

Finding a way out of a difficult situation is not difficult if you understand what result you want to get in the end. Therefore, try to always focus on what you want, and not those around you, loved ones, friends or colleagues. Otherwise, hidden discontent will still cause serious problems that cannot be avoided.

Top 7 ways to find a way out of a difficult situation

  • As soon as you feel that a crisis has come and you need to do something, take a day off and devote it to your favorite activities. Take a walk, play sports, listen to good music, read a book, watch your favorite movie with a happy ending, spend time with your favorite pet, animals help you calm down and look at the world differently. Free your mind from all worries. This is not at all easy to do, but the main first step is here. And they may well be the words of the famous heroine Scarlett O’Hara, which you should say to yourself: “I’ll think about this tomorrow!” Allow yourself to rest so that you can begin to find the best way out of a difficult situation the next day with fresh strength, and not exhausted by numerous doubts and worries.
  • For a more complete picture, write down on paper everything that is happening. How it all started, what stage it is in now, what the threat is in the future. Write down all possible solutions and capabilities that you have. Analyze them in detail and select the most optimal fight option. Set the finished recipe aside and read it again the next day. As time passes, it is much easier to identify the strengths and weaknesses of what you have written. As soon as you feel that this is the most correct way out, start implementing it.
  • If the situation is so complicated and you have no way to correct it, then wait for the right moment, allowing events to develop without your participation. Sometimes this is the best option. Often everything resolves itself as if by itself. The main thing is to retreat in time and not do even more stupid things.
  • You have offended a loved one, and your relationship is on the brink, find the strength to ask for forgiveness if you do not want to lose him. In the same case, when you are deeply convinced that your partner is to blame for everything that happened, and are not ready to forgive him, then prepare for several scenarios: either a breakup, or reconciliation when he realizes his guilt. There is no such thing as a bad choice, there is only one that is right for you and for which you are willing to take responsibility.

Photo: how to find a way out of a difficult situation

  • Look at the problem as if several years have passed, is it as complex as it is now? Maybe a look from the future will allow you to see a solution to it that you haven’t thought about.
  • To find a way out of any situation, you need to have a certain amount of information and the more it is, the easier it is to resolve the issue. Today it is not difficult to search for the necessary data and options for the development of events on the Internet. Here you can also use ready-made solutions that are shared with each other by people who have encountered the same or similar troubles. It is always worth using the experience of others, it is much better than reinventing the wheel.
  • Don't refuse help from your loved ones. It is worthy of respect when a person tries to cope with difficulties on his own, but often their help can become a real lifeline. Sometimes it is enough to talk about a problem to immediately understand how it needs to be solved, and advice heard in time will allow you to win with the least losses.

Photo: how to find a way out of a difficult situation

Life is never an easy walk for anyone; it is filled with both happy and tragic events, regardless of education, place of work and financial status. From time to time, in a series of ordinary affairs, problems arise that require close attention. No matter how they frighten or disrupt the usual course of things, you need to learn to look for a way out of any difficult situation. When a person believes in himself and does not want to give up, he is capable of much.

Life is life. Sometimes you fall into a deep hole and are stuck at the bottom with a broken heart, an empty wallet, or a serious illness. No matter how much you try to climb back, it seems that there is no way out.

In fact, the exit is much closer than it seems. To cope with a difficult life situation, we need only one thing - specifically targeted actions. After all, they are the most effective tool for achieving results.

And if so, we will look at 2 ways to solve any problem using a 4-step action plan, two useful exercises and one tip that helps when everything falls out of hand. We will start with 5 ideas that you need to understand so as not to kill yourself again and not make the porridge thicker than before.

What you need to realize

  • There are people with worse problems than you. For example, children with fatal diseases, parents who lost their young family in an accident, a boy who was killed in an unnecessary war. The world has not agreed on your situation, so you should not give up after the first defeat.

  • Failure can be a happy turning point. This idea can be found on the pages of the book “The Law of Success” by Napoleon Hill. And it’s true: a sudden illness, failure in business or a broken relationship can sometimes save your head from even greater misfortunes.

  • Advice to give up everything is advice from weak people. Before you listen to someone, look at their standard of living. If it is lower than what you want, you should not waste time listening to yet another opinion.

  • Whatever happens, no matter who is to blame, it’s all in the past. Now we are facing a fact and we need to shift our attention to the present.

  • Taking the initiative is a good quality of a successful person, but in our case, too decisive actions can cause harm.

What can you do

Here we come to practice. In general, methods for getting out of difficult situations come down to one thing - raise your “asses” and. It seems simple, but how to do it if the whole body is exhausted and resists? You can try the step by step method below.

Method 1 - Solving the problem yourself

Step #1 – Cooling and Preparation

  • To begin with, as in all emergency situations, you need to stop panicking. The fire has already flared up and even though it is hot outside, you need to remain cool inside. This way the brain will not waste energy on unnecessary emotions and will save resources for solving the problem.

  • Then, you should stop pretending to be a victim. As children, we were often told that we needed to be responsible, and now is the right time for that.

    Take the helm into your own hands to fully control the situation. Otherwise, you can quickly succumb to excuses like “I’m unlucky, I have nothing to do with it, it’s better for him to decide, etc.”

  • The next “half-step” is to find the fulcrum of your problem. When trouble appears, a bunch of other difficulties appear out of nowhere. And if you “pull out” the first trouble, then the rest of the chain of events collapses on its own.

    It sounds promising, but it really is. From solving a complex problem, inspiration comes, a second wind, an increase in strength, and smaller problems are solved on their own.

Step #2 – Reboot

At this stage we must interfere with a sober mind. Here are a few options on how to do this:

  • Gain strength, sleep, eat, relax.

  • Remember your past victories and gain a boost of motivation.

  • Think about what this situation will teach you, what kind of self-confidence you will gain if you solve it. (Invaluable experience, strengthened fortitude, self-confidence - these are just a few of the consequences of the solved problem.)

  • Gain willpower and give up alcohol, excessive smoking, and drugs. Stop being lazy, overeating, in general - do not feed factors that spoil the psyche and destroy the body.

1. The first one is self-programming(or affirmations). It consists in not recognizing the complexity of the situation, and telling yourself that everything is not so bad.

What happened, trouble?- Everything is fine, temporary difficulties! How are you?– Wonderful as usual! Try talking to yourself and others in this spirit. (Sounds like training for sectarians, but if you don’t overdo it, then such thinking is useful).

2. Think about what you believe: into yourself and your powers, God, world energy, a single wave shell, even into reptilians. Believe in it with renewed vigor. (Again, a little strange, but faith is a very strong feeling that can give strength)

3. Emotional release. Sometimes it’s worth punching an innocent pear or bursting into tears into your pillow. Just simply throw it all out directly, without any affirmations. In this matter, your heart will tell you: if you want to cry, if you want to break dishes, if you want to go to the gym and exhaust your muscles.

It's bad that many people are used to holding back their emotions. To freak out, even if you are left alone, is somehow awkward and “not like an adult,” which is why the method is not suitable for everyone.

After the “reboot” you can proceed to the 3rd step.

Step #3 - Focus

When you are calm and all emotions are behind you, you can begin the most important thing - switching the focus from the problem to its solution.

And here comes the most difficult thing, which 90% of those who read the article will not do. Why? Because right now we need to take action. We will need two sheets of paper and a pen. It is advisable to use paper rather than electronic media; the effect will be stronger on it.

We will do 2 exercises that will help free your head from the whirlpool of thoughts and structure your knowledge. After completing them, you will already have an initial speed and a foundation for a further plan of action.

Exercise 1

Describe all the resources you have: knowledge, things, connections, money, valuable information, experience, etc. These are your means to achieve a goal, in our case the goal is to get out of a difficult situation.

Emphasize which of these tools can be used to solve the problem. For example: car- sell, Lech- collect the debt, Alexey Borisovich– call and ask for advice.

If you haven't found something that can help you, then your horizons are still limited. You are groping in the dark when the answer could be just around the corner. Make a small column under the list of resources, and write there all the resources that you think you lack (again, this could be money, connections, qualifications, etc.).

A picture appeared before us that I couldn't fit it all into my head. All that remains is to work with it: use resources, look for funds, supplement with new knowledge. After this we can move on to the second exercise.

Exercise 2

We take a second sheet of paper and brainstorm. We write down absolutely all our thoughts in it: “I have problems and everything pisses me off; I think no one will help me; I should call and make an arrangement, but I’m afraid.”

That is, not just " I need to do this and try this.", but all your feelings, experiences, ideas. All the porridge that is boiling and boiling the brain needs to be poured onto paper.

What's good about this exercise? It materializes thoughts in a unique way. You had an impulse in your head, you had to keep it in your memory, save it, maintain your emotional mood, but now - here it is, on paper! The brain no longer needs to waste energy: constantly show this thought, associate a certain emotion with it. He can focus on something specific and calm down, at least for a while.

That is why it is better to do these exercises on paper. Writing thoughts with your own hand is a little different than sticking them with phone buttons. Imagine what it would be like if children in schools typed everything on a keyboard. Of course, we would learn quickly, but poorly. Here we have something similar.

Step #4 - Plan

Ideally, at this stage you should already have 2 sheets of notes and at least a minimal idea of ​​your further actions. If you have completed all the previous steps, you are great! This means you are ready to work hard and will definitely get the desired result.

The simplest thing left is to write a plan and set goals. Carry them with you so that in your free moment, you always know what to do next.

Method 2 - Ask for help

In order to find a way out of a hopeless situation, you can take a different route. If you are lucky, you have relatives and true friends. Close people, if they are really close, will always help you in difficult times.

There are 3 varieties of this method. We briefly discussed the first one in the first paragraph - ask friends and acquaintances for help.

Second variety: Look for those who have already solved a similar problem.

Believe me, among several billion people there is someone who is faced with the same life situation. Find this person. In his video, book or article, he can show the solution to your problem from his own experience.

Imagine that you are sitting at a round table and talking with people you respect. Friends, parents, it doesn’t matter. If you know their character roughly, you can imagine the advice they will give you.

Practice shows that many tips from the Internet simply do not work. Sometimes forcing yourself to read moral lectures, do some exercises, and overpower your character becomes sickening.

In this state, nothing works anymore. What kind of exercises are there, I would like to gather myself together. In a word - stress.

The only way out of this situation is to disconnect from business as much as possible. Send, score, rest – call it what you want.

Why is this advice “super”? Because it reflects the real state of affairs. If you have completely lost motivation and are discouraged, it is dangerous to finish yourself off! And you can achieve yourself through various practices, motivational speeches, constant reproaches, etc. If you are completely unable to work, these things will not help you and will only frustrate you. “I’m no good”, “Everything is lost”, “Nothing helps me anymore” - that’s all you think about after trying to overcome yourself.

So don’t be afraid to let things go for a while! Yes, this condition can last for several days or even weeks. But the more time passes, the more the spring of motivation contracts. At one point, you will get so tired of idleness that the spring will unclench and with great force will carry you back to the top.

How often, when we find ourselves in a difficult situation that requires a strong-willed decision or the elimination of problems, we begin to think that this is what it is - a hopeless situation. Having once believed that there is no way out of your situation, you allow pessimism and self-pity to take over, and you find yourself in a vicious circle of your own and. I propose an alternative approach - to believe that there is always a way out, and more than one, you just need to make an effort to see it. The bulk of these efforts will be aimed at maintaining a positive attitude and maintaining faith in a successful resolution of the situation.

So, there are no hopeless situations – that’s a fact. What then happens - what do we accept as “hopeless conditions”?

  1. The need to make a decision. It's complicated, scary and requires taking responsibility for the choice made and its consequences. If the choice is wrong, there will be no one to blame but ourselves, so our consciousness closes in and pretends that there is no way out, and we, in turn, play along with it. Convincing yourself that nothing depends on you is the approach of a weak person. Take courage and remind yourself that control is always in your hands - yes, you can make a mistake, but this is your decision, independent and balanced, and, therefore, you are an adult and responsible person.

    What to do:

    • – mistakes are your personal, invaluable experience, which you can always use for the benefit of your development.
    • Take advantage of our advice - take control of your life into your own hands, don’t be a victim.
  2. Fear of change can paralyze even a person who is smart and developed in all respects. This is human nature - it is more comfortable for him to exist in conditions of certainty, but everything the unknown is scary and has a much lower level of comfort. Refusing to do something out of fear that your life will change is not stupid, but it is terribly ineffective. Change is always for the better - repeat this to yourself day and night until you believe it, and then you will discover that you mistakenly believed your situation was hopeless.

    What to do:

    • Change it to something constructive, and your life will pick up a new pace of development, just like you.
    • Read - these brave souls changed not only themselves and their lives, but also the world in which we live. Isn’t this an incentive to joyfully plunge into the coming changes?
  3. Convenience of a “home place”. A person can adapt to any conditions, even the most destructive and uncomfortable ones. Being in a dysfunctional marriage or working in a job where you are humiliated and unappreciated, and justifying it by saying that there is no other way out, means indulge one's complexes and low self-esteem. If self-esteem is very low, a person may even remain in a relationship where violence is used against him - because it is convenient, convenient from his point of view. Trying to change the situation and move away from the role that you are used to playing is difficult, but necessary.

    What to do:

    • Work with - without this work, any attempts to move forward will be short-lived and will entail a return to previous circumstances.
    • To understand and accept that you deserve more and better - for this you need.
  4. Some people try to pass off banal laziness as a hopeless situation. If a person does not want to make any efforts to find a solution, he directs them to looking for excuses. Excuses invented for others are gradually accepted on faith and consciousness, and now the person is sincerely convinced that in his circumstances there is no way out. But you just need to want to change your life and direct your efforts in the right direction.

    What to do:

    • Learn - no one will do it for you.
    • Work towards a promotion - just work, not try or try.
  5. The pleasure of complaining. It is typical for many people to complain about their bitter fate, evil people around them and unfortunate circumstances instead of doing something do. The goal is to get confirmation from others that you are right - “there is no way out, I’m unhappy, I didn’t have a chance, considering the kind of childhood I had...”.

    What to do:

    • Stop whining!
    • Find out why and how to channel your energy from complaints into real action.
  6. Reverence for standards. “It’s customary” is the worst excuse for inaction. By whom it is accepted, why and why this should be reflected in your life, it does not matter at all if you decide to justify your “hopeless” situation with someone else’s opinion, traditions and established practices. In this world, neither those around you, nor the rulers of states, nor anyone else don't define you, only you! You yourself determine where the limit of your capabilities is, so call them limitless, limitless, instead of hiding behind the notorious “this is how it is done.”

    What to do:

    • , even though it’s new and scary, you need it.
    • Use technology to release energy and direct it to creation.

Of course, first of all, I write these tips to remind myself that there are no hopeless situations, but I also want to convey this to you. They really don’t exist; there are difficult ones, which are points of our growth if we choose the path of development rather than stagnation.



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