Unrestrained character. How to communicate with hot-tempered people? From a religious point of view

Many people know first-hand what hot temper is. Every new day for them is a real overcoming of reality. They struggle with every trifle, cling to every little thing and often, very much hate everyone with whom they are forced to communicate. They always find the reasons for their own anger in the actions of others. Although in fact it lies in themselves, in their perception of the world and in their actions. Hot-tempered people are to blame for what happens to them. You will accept this point of view as soon as you read this publication to the end.

Overcome by irritability, tired of hot temper

Several years ago, I, being a temperamental person who has quite a rich life experience and developed consciousness, tried to prove everyone wrong. Literally everything irritated me. Starting with what they told me and ending with the actions of people. I had no idea how to cope with rage, but most importantly, I did not understand that this perception of reality was wrong. From some point on, I began to look for ways that would allow me to find inner balance and I managed to “cool down.” Only then did I realize that I was “flashing up” in vain in each case. Aggressive behavior did not bring me any benefit, but only harm, even greater irritability and frequent temper tantrums.

I was prompted to remember how I behaved in past years by an incident with one of the readers of the “Advise!” site. She asked a question, received an answer on the page of this resource, and then wrote that the answer was nonsense and began to demand that her message be deleted. But she knows the rule of this web project - all letters sent by users through the feedback form are published on the site. They are not deleted because the administrator spent a lot of time answering them. The woman in question perceives reality incorrectly. She sees everything in a distorted light, does not perceive what is written or spoken to her, and then takes out her psychoses on others, wasting their time and nerves. The temper in her case is causeless. And from the outside, her behavior looks, to put it mildly, idiotic. I hope someday she realizes this and understands how much harm she did to other people by getting on their nerves. This is worth understanding for all irritable individuals.

Hot temper. Causes

In this part of the publication, I decided to describe what causes severe irritability and subsequently manifests a temper. The first reason could be called “fractured nerves.” If you were subjected to terror as a child by parents, classmates, relatives, neighbors, friends, acquaintances or strangers, then you should not be surprised at your incorrect perception of those with whom you communicate. After all, you consciously and subconsciously expect an attack, and therefore “are always ready for battle.” Any phrase even remotely reminiscent of what past aggressors told you can provoke you into a temper. To get rid of this pattern of behavior, you need to cleanse your subconscious by mentally erasing negative experiences of the past from your memories. This should be done before bed, every day, for several months or even years. At some point, relief will come and irritability will pass.

The second reason is that your energy is oversaturated with the energy of fire. If you are not aware of how the world works and how your subtle body functions, then I recommend that you read it to understand what is happening. In this part of the article I will briefly describe what happens in the energy of a person for whom hot temper is the norm. Having thought about the word itself, we can already draw a conclusion - it means some kind of active action, namely, raising dust. Excessive energy activity occurs in people who have many active, fighting elements, in particular fire, wood and metal. With the strengthening of the fire element, the mind ceases to cope with the processing of information, and therefore it is perceived incorrectly. When wood energy is strong, an irresistible irritation is felt, which goes away only after active physical action. Metal energy is a protective layer of a living organism and therefore its strengthening leads to the elimination of temper and aggressiveness, but only if fire and wood are suppressed. How to reduce your irritability by strengthening the metal element, read.

The third reason why temper may arise is a feeling of permissiveness and a sense of self-importance. If you believe that you know more than others, are better informed about everything and have supposedly special rights, then you will probably be annoyed by any message that you read or the statement of someone from your environment. In this case, you need to stop rushing around with yourself, and try to hear those who communicate with you. If you fail to do this, then your social circle is not suitable for you. Look for those who match your level, correspond and talk with them. Or prove yourself. For some, the experience of an advisor helps them get rid of their irritability and, in general, problems.

The fourth reason for the occurrence of psychosis lies in some physical abnormalities. For example, with dysfunction of the thyroid gland or with changes in hormonal levels during menopause, attacks of severe irritation and even aggression may occur. Therefore, if you are overcome by short temper, you should consult a doctor so that he can send you for a comprehensive examination. If the cause of your mood swings is identified and subsequently eliminated, then you will be able to easily change your behavior pattern and become a more calm person, indifferently perceiving what is happening around you.

How to deal with temper?

The main idea that you must understand if you are bothered by short temper is that you yourself are to blame for the occurrence of this condition. You are used to behaving this way, and therefore no one will help you change your behavior. Once you realize that you are behaving incorrectly, you will take the first step towards peace. The reasons why you are irritable can be different: energy, people, disturbances in body functions, inflated self-esteem, etc. But they are all mechanisms, and the starting point is your behavior pattern. Change it, make adjustments, and you will see how easy it is to perceive your surroundings without flaring up on every occasion or without it.

To make it clear to you how to deal with temper in practice, I will give an example from my life. I was once very annoyed by an online acquaintance; he took up a lot of my time, got on my nerves and made me very angry. At some point I realized that such communication was harmful to me. I didn't get anything useful for myself when I talked to him or corresponded with him. So I deleted him from all the programs through which I kept in touch with him, and breathed a sigh of relief. After all, I then got rid of the irritant. This is an example of how you can change your behavior. Instead of continuing to communicate with an unpleasant person, and then taking out my anger on loved ones and strangers, I simply excluded this person from my environment and thereby ensured a calm life for myself.

But what if you get hot-tempered when communicating with many people? How from her? This is where working on yourself will help. First, find something that allows you to relax and unwind. For example, sedative pills:
— Glycine;
— Afobazole;
— Tenoten;
— Phenibut;
— Vitrum Superstress;
— Persen;
- Novopassit.
To find the most appropriate medications for you, you should consult your doctor or pharmacist. Increased temper can be easily treated with zinc tablets (without vitamin C). You need to take one piece three times a day, daily. After about two weeks, calmness and absolute indifference to all irritants will appear. When I was very irritable, I was able to quickly get out of the vicious circle of insurmountable psychosis only thanks to zinc tablets.

Healers who prefer herbs to treat various disorders of the body can also tell you how to deal with hot temper. They will help you with irritability:
- St. John's wort;
- valerian root;
- coriander seeds;
- motherwort;
- hop cones.
Recipes for preparing infusions from them are usually indicated on the packaging. St. John's wort helps me a lot. It makes me sleepy, calm and indifferent to all irritants. Try drinking its infusion or taking it in tablets and you will probably calm down.

After you choose a calming remedy for yourself, you should begin to change your usual pattern of behavior. I’ll warn you right away – it won’t be easy. How to overcome temper? First, during the next attack of rage, you need to make an effort and force yourself to stop. It's difficult, but necessary! It doesn’t matter at what point you slow down your thoughts or actions, it’s important to just stop and start doing something that is unusual for you. For example, you want to lose your temper and quarrel with someone, stop, think about something else, be distracted by important matters. You can start cleaning your home or office. The cause of the irritation will be forgotten, and the pattern of behavior will be changed. If you do this every time you want to go crazy, then as a result, in about two months, you will be able to get rid of your psychoses.

Some psychologists who know how to treat irritability and short temper recommend avoiding situations that cause you to have attacks of aggression. Are you very nervous about people's posts on social networks, messages in communities and topics on forums? Avoid such resources, do not communicate with a large number of Internet users. If you don't like what someone writes to you via email or in response to your comment, then just don't respond. It is difficult for an irritable person to understand how one can not react to irritation. But this is precisely where the secret of getting rid of temper lies - you need to change your behavior, move away from active actions to passivity. Are queues making you nervous? Don't stand in them! Does public transport cause you stress? Find a place of work close to home or walk.

The most important thing you need to understand is that you don’t need to ask yourself how to treat short temper, but rather think about what you can do to change your attitude towards irritants. You shouldn’t treat psychosis as a mental illness, although sometimes that’s exactly how they are felt and perceived. It is more correct to look for reasons in your reaction to what and who causes a violent reaction in you. Only by stopping yourself every time you want to “explode” and “tear” everyone, you can get out of the vicious circle, find your peace and become detached from worldly affairs. By immersing yourself in your experiences and emotions, you lose the opportunity to look at the situation soberly and respond to it correctly. This means that your actions will lead you to a nervous breakdown and subsequent long-term treatment. Don’t forget about this and stop all your psychoses at the very beginning of their occurrence. I recommend that you go through.

Scientifically speaking, being irritable means overreacting to some stimulus. Fortunately, this can be dealt with quite easily. You can overcome this overreaction if you know a few tricks.

First of all, it is worth learning that hot temper and irritability are inherent in all modern people without exception. The reason for this phenomenon is high stress loads in the form of an excessive amount of absorbed information. The brain is not able to cope with such a volume of information and refuses to adequately respond to newly received stimuli.

Before dealing with them, short temper and increased irritability should be carefully analyzed for possible causes of their occurrence. In particular, it is important to exclude deficiency of vitamins and minerals, the presence of organic pathologies of the structures of the brain and central nervous system. In women, similar periods can be observed during certain phases of the menstrual cycle.

How to get rid of a temper

Take a break whenever you feel irritated or feel that your emotions have risen, try to remember that you just need to relax. This kind of knowledge may seem annoying in these conditions, but be sure to do it. And this will be a big help in the fight against your excessive temper.

Before dealing with a temper tantrum, start breathing deeply - this allows oxygen to enter the brain, allowing it to function more efficiently. And drink a glass of water. Such actions will stop your irritability and temper for some time.

Don't be afraid to comfort yourself by surrounding yourself with things and activities that you enjoy: it could be a big scoop of your favorite pistachio ice cream or the new season of a comedy show. You can also inflate a balloon until it bursts - often, along with it, all the negativity that has accumulated inside you disappears. Whatever it is, do it when you feel that fire of indignation and discontent growing within you. This will balance your emotions and you will feel less irritable.

How to overcome hot temper using simple methods?

In order to know how to overcome a temper, you need to learn that you should not allow any negative thoughts. If possible, don’t think about anything at all, or remember something pleasant and good. These simple methods are used by all professional psychologists, and recently by young girls too, to drive away all bad thoughts.

Play with your child - it gives an incredible release of emotion and charges you with positivity for several days ahead. Fly a kite, jump, run, play ball, pick flowers, play with your pet and your child. Playing helps relieve stress in your brain, which causes irritability and short temper.

Exercise, especially yoga. Researchers have long recognized that the latter helps control not only one’s actions, but also emotions. Physical exercise helps trigger happiness hormones from within, which will obviously make you feel happier.

Go visit, or rent a car or bike and ride to the nearest beach. Or you can go shopping if the weather does not allow you to go out into nature. If you feel like you're starting to get irritated just thinking about work, then maybe you should take a short three-day vacation and go somewhere together as a family. And it doesn’t have to be abroad or a beach; the nearest mountain, clearing or other beautiful place near you is quite suitable.

Talk to family and friends, especially those you haven't seen for a long time. They probably miss you very much, and a pleasant conversation will distract you from all sorts of irritants for a long time.

Sometimes the cause of hot temper and irritability is a simple lack of sleep. There is only one way out in such a situation - long and high-quality sleep. For many people, this is one of the best ways to overcome irritability. Perhaps this method will work for you too. As soon as you feel the first notes of irritation, the first thing you should do is just rest. And in the next situation, just sleep and you will see the effect when you wake up. It won't make you forget about the cause or irritant, but at least you will feel better.

It's better to spend your time producing all these things than wasting your time and nerves on annoying anyone.

Increased emotional temperament

Increased emotional temper is more typical for the male part of the planet. Hot temper is a hellish mixture of irritability and emotional incontinence, which is characteristic of very temperamental people.

How to deal with a hot temper and what will help you get rid of accumulated tension and react more calmly to unexpected events in everyday life

Hot temper very often creates many problems in everyday life. Where another would remain silent and pass by, you can fall into the grip of negative emotions, the mood of you and your loved ones will be ruined for the whole day. Any little thing can make you angry and provoke a quarrel with your loved one or a conflict at work. Needless to say, in the eyes of others you will begin to look like an ill-mannered rude person, which will not have the best effect on both your career and close relationships.

Often, a person with an explosive character can justify his outburst of anger by innate characteristics of temperament. However, this often indicates nothing more than emotional promiscuity, because by working on yourself you can minimize the manifestation of your negative sides and not go beyond certain limits.

In order to combat the aggression that accumulates inside, one of the types of activities associated with physical activity is suitable.

You can go to the gym or take a dance class. This will help you safely get rid of the tension accumulated inside, your figure and coordination of movements will become much better.

Make it a rule not to rush to react violently to unexpected actions on the part of others that irritate or anger you. Try to mentally count to ten, taking the necessary pause. During this time, the intensity of your emotions will subside a little, which will allow you to avoid rude words or inappropriate behavior towards others.

Fill your every day with positive emotions, which you can get in abundance by listening to your favorite music, walking in the park or chatting with friends.

Try not to be overtired throughout the day, sleep at least eight hours a day, eat properly and on time.

In some cases, hot temper can signal serious changes in hormonal levels, so you should definitely visit a specialist so that he can do the necessary tests. You can also take herbal-based sedatives for a while, which will reduce discomfort and you will begin to relate to everything more calmly.

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Hot temper – a tendency to inappropriate, excessive reactions - emotional incontinence, explosive irritability to ordinary stimuli; predisposition to anger.

Once upon a time there lived a very hot-tempered and unrestrained man. And then one day his father gave him a bag of nails and ordered him to drive one nail into the fence post every time he could not control his anger. On the first day there were several dozen nails in the fence. After a week, the young man learned to control himself, and every day the number of nails hammered into the post began to decrease. The young man realized that controlling his temper is easier than driving nails. Finally, the day came when he never lost his temper. He told his father about this and he said that from that day on, every time his son managed to restrain himself, he could pull out one nail from the pillar. Time passed, and the day came when the young man could tell his father that there was not a single nail left in the pillar. Then the father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence: “You did a good job, but do you see how many holes there are in the post? He will never be the same again. When you say something evil to a person, he has the same scar in his soul as these holes.”

Temper - a distraction of the mind to steal emotions . In a calm state, the mind controls the manifestation of feelings and emotions, and only during temporary insanity, which is what hot temper is, negative destructive emotions flow into space. The heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, and a powerful surge of adrenaline occurs. If you don’t slow down in time, you can smoothly transition into a state of anger in many of its manifestations, including extreme ones - rage and rage. Having pumped enormous energy out of a person, a flash of temper throws him into a state of despondency, exhausted, devastated, defenseless and gloomy. The friends of short temper are ardor, impatience, anger, imbalance and irritability.

Losing his mind for a while, a person practically does not control himself, becomes weak-willed, and therefore loses respect in the eyes of others. Hot temper neutralizes the ability to make the right decisions, pushes one to rash actions, worsens a person’s well-being, provokes problems, leads to hysteria and ends with a feeling of shame.

Hot temper is characterized by an instant jump from a calm state to an extremely excited, agitated and impulsive state. Temperament plays a significant role and cannot be discounted. Hot temper is a personality without “brakes”. Every person hundreds of times a day has to consciously or unconsciously make a choice about how to react to a particular situation in life. The right to choose is a huge gift of fate, an invaluable advantage of a conscious individual. For example, on the tram we were pushed and at the same time they commented impolitely on the push. A person has a choice of how to react to the situation - get into an argument with a tram boor or ignore the provocation. It takes a split second to think about what to do. Hot temper, no one knows for what sins, is deprived of the greatest advantage of personality - rights of choice . Without a moment's hesitation, she flares up, sharply raises her voice, tears at her vest, actively gesticulates, in a word, gets angry with all her might. In other words, there is no “safety valve” between the event and the reaction to it in the form of the right to choose. The irritant, freely bypassing the filters of consciousness, directly affects the sensitive centers of a person, causing an outbreak of temper. There are countless reasons for hot temper, but there is only one reason - the impossibility and inability to make a choice on how to react to life events.

The trigger for a temper can be any trifle, but, first of all, it is anger, fueled by condemnation. Lacking self-control and mental stability, it is easy for a person to “ignite” when encountering ignorance that does not want to actively listen, constantly interrupting and objecting. Bad mood, stress, overwork, fear and anxiety can be a good springboard for a temper. In other words, the cause of irascibility can be any object or situation in the external world that is given excessive significance.

Hot temper has many enemies in the form of philanthropy, kindness, tolerance, understanding and the ability to forgive. The antidote to it is kindness, wisdom and self-control. It is a quickly passing emotion, and this must be used. It is very important to catch the first moment of temper and not allow the spark to flare up into a flame. For this, a person needs to be distracted, like a child, from the subject of the conversation and kept in the arsenal of available means - calmness and reconciliation.

The life of a hot-tempered person cannot be called safe. What kind of safety can we talk about if a person has no “brakes”. A striking example of irascibility is the great artist Caravaggio. A man of violent temperament, rude, courageous and independent. The artist’s hot-tempered and quarrelsome disposition gave rise to constant clashes with others, which often ended in a fight, a duel or a blow with a sword. For this he was repeatedly prosecuted and imprisoned. In 1606, Caravaggio, in a quarrel that broke out during a ball game, killed his opponent and fled from Rome. Finding himself in Naples, he moved from there to Malta in search of work, where, after staying for a year, he was accepted into the order thanks to the patronage of the grandmaster, whose portrait he painted. However, for grossly insulting one of the leaders of the order, Caravaggio was thrown into prison, escaped from it and worked for some time in the cities of Sicily and again in Naples. In the hope of the pope's forgiveness, he went by sea to Rome. Wrongly arrested by the Spanish border guards and robbed by carriers, the artist fell ill with malaria and died in 1610, thirty-six years old.

Peter Kovalev



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