In this article I will talk about how to make promises and how to achieve them.
In my life, I constantly use the power of promises I make to myself. This helps me work despite laziness, play sports despite the resistance of my body, not procrastinate and realize my plans.
It is impossible to completely get rid of laziness and resistance. Laziness is an almost primitive instinct that will always be with us. You need to learn to be stronger than her! The power of promises helps me with this.
A lot has been written about how important it is to set goals for yourself. But I prefer to use the wording "promise" rather than "goal" because I think it's easier to stick to a promise than to follow a goal.
How does this work?
Let me give you an example.
If I think, “I think I’ll go for a run tonight,” then by the evening my desire to run may dry up. I'm full of energy in the morning, but as the day ends, things can change. And when this time comes, I can reason like this: “I’m tired, I want to lie in bed, so I won’t go anywhere.”
But if I tell myself: “today I will run for exactly an hour, I promise myself this and will not go back on my promise,” then completing the task becomes almost a matter of honor for me. I strive to fulfill my promises at all costs. Of course, if it suddenly rains heavily outside, I will not go for a run today, but will go for a run tomorrow instead.
Promises eliminate any possible excuses I might have.
At first I often broke promises to myself, but then I got used to keeping them. Next, I will tell you what you need to do to form such a habit.
Replace “must” with “I promise!”
If you need to do something (wash the dishes, find the necessary information on the Internet, do work), make a promise to yourself to do it
Think carefully about your intentions, do not tell yourself: “tomorrow I will try to smoke less” or, even worse, “I need to smoke less,” but give yourself a clear goal: “tomorrow I will DEFINITELY smoke no more than 5 cigarettes. I give you my word!”
There is nothing worse than this meaningless “should”! It does not motivate you to action, but simply talks about some ideal event in the abstract future.
Every time such thoughts starting with “should” creep into your head, immediately change them to promises!
Turn any intention you have into a promise. Clearly say in your mind: “I promise not to eat sweets after dinner today!”, “I promise to call my father today,” “I promise to work at least 4 hours today,” “I promise to get up early tomorrow,” “I promise to go jogging at least once a week.” “,” “I promise to go to the doctor,” etc.
When I taught myself to say “I promise” instead of “may” or “should,” my self-discipline increased dramatically.
I did a lot of things at once that I had put off for a long time indefinitely. It became easier for me to control my weaknesses. I started doing more sports and self-development and sitting in front of the computer less. I started getting more work done.
Find any reason to make a promise to yourself.
Come up with challenges every day within your capabilities. This will strengthen your willpower, make you more responsible and obliging.
Think you're spending too much money? Promise yourself to spend no more than a certain amount next month!
Have you looked at yourself in the mirror and decided that you have gained excess weight? Promise yourself to go to the gym at least 2 times a week and eat fast food no more than once a month.
Don't promise yourself the impossible. There is no need to try to do something that you cannot do. If you have habits that you can't give up completely, at least limit them. For example, if you realize that you spend a lot of time on social networks, promise yourself to log into Facebook no more than twice a day.
Clearly formulate the tasks you set for yourself
Promises should be as specific as possible. You must clearly state the deadlines and conditions for fulfillment. When two firms enter into a contract, they write down in the document all possible terms of the contract so that neither party can violate the requirements of the business. You can’t just tell your business partner: “bring me the parts within a month.”
It is necessary to describe the number of parts, delivery times, product names, carrier, etc.
Imagine that you are making a contract with yourself. All you need is just terms and a few conditions.
Set specific goals for yourself, writing down all the conditions in the “contract”. For example, you try to eat sweets less often, as it is harmful and causes problems with excess weight. But you haven’t thought about how rarely you should eat sweets.
You just decided that you should do it less often. As a result, on Monday you can eat a piece of cake in the morning and evening, and on Tuesday you can eat three chocolates.
In this case, no rule regulates exactly how much sweets you should eat. Therefore, you risk not getting rid of excess weight problems.
Therefore, formulate your promise as specifically as possible: no more than one sweet per day (or two days, or a week). Suppose you can deviate from the terms of this promise only on the occasion of some holiday when they treat you to cake. But, again, you should eat no more than a certain amount. Discuss all these conditions in advance. Make a mental contract with yourself. And no matter what comes to your mind, do not go back on your promise. Protect yourself from all possible excuses. The contract already exists, all the conditions are discussed in it, and you cannot break it.
How to deal with duality of choice
In any situation of duality, when you are choosing between two decisions, one of which expresses your will, desire to develop and diligence, and the other is a reflection of your laziness and procrastination, try to choose the first without thinking too much.
For example, did you start thinking: “Should I go for a run today or not?” If you start thinking, making arguments for and against, then there is a high probability that your primitive self will prevail over you. You will always find arguments against not running and staying at home, watching TV and eating cake if you think long enough.
When you start debating with yourself about whether to do what your mind tells you or do what laziness tells you, you are already taking the first step towards capitulation to laziness. You seem to be telling her “I would run today, but let’s listen to you, my lazy self, maybe you have some thoughts of your own on this matter.”
If you tell yourself that, then you are certainly doomed to failure. A person is inclined to follow the path of least resistance and he will instinctively strive for a solution that points to this path.
Therefore, in situations of ambivalence, the first question you should ask yourself is: “what is the right thing to do?” When I say “right,” I mean “right” in relation to considerations of common sense, happiness, intelligence, personal development, and caring for yourself and your fellow man.
Not eating fast food is the right thing to do. News healthy image life is correct. Helping loved ones is the right thing to do. It’s right not to worry about trifles.
This is what “right” means without any excuses. I think everyone knows perfectly well about this “correct” and it will not be difficult for him to realize which of the two solutions is more “correct”.
After you determine what is right and what is wrong, for example, going for a run today is right (since it is healthy and you promised yourself to run twice a week) but staying at home and watching TV is wrong, right there make a promise to yourself to do what is right.
This will help you not to get involved in arguments with your laziness, in which it will most likely win. You will make a clear, common-sense promise to yourself and save yourself from pointless moments of unproductive thinking. In my experience, this greatly relieves the brain.
Everyone is familiar with situations when you cannot choose one solution out of two. “What should we do, go to the country at the end of the work week and get drunk there, or spend the evening at home, in silence, let your head rest, spend time with your loved ones?”
Thinking about this choice can consume your brain. You won't come to the right decision if you think about what you want more at the moment. Maybe right now you want to go to a party.
Just because we want something doesn't mean it's actually what we need.. You don’t need to be guided only by your “wants” when making decisions.
Tomorrow morning you will be more pleased to wake up without a hangover, fresh and rested. In this case, you will not regret spending time at home and will understand that you made the right choice.
To make your decision easier, just think about what is right, not what you want most at the moment.
Tell yourself: “the right thing to do is go home, which is what I’m going to do. And stop thinking about it anymore. I made my choice and I am not going to regret the missed opportunities. I may feel some regret now, but tomorrow I will know that I did everything right.”
At this moment you will feel relief! You don't have to have this tiresome debate between your mind and your primitive self anymore! You may want to think about something else. Now your mind is free!
It may seem to you that if you always follow this rule when making decisions, then you will put forward very high demands on yourself. And you will not be able to satisfy these demands. After all, it is impossible to always do the right thing; sometimes you need to find compromises. And I completely agree with this.
If you use this rule only in a situation of difficult choice, when you are already initially choosing between the right and wrong action, then your life will improve, your desires will be fulfilled and this will not require much dedication from you. Let me give you one more example.
For example, you are going to attend a friend's birthday party. And you think what’s best for you to do: drive a car and not drink at the holiday, or go there on your own and get drunk. Without thinking for a long time, choose the first option. And promise yourself not to touch the bottle.
This rule does not force you to make a large, overwhelming effort of will. It simply helps to stop your ears when your primitive self starts talking to you.
You must have seen how in cartoons a little angel and a devil appear above the different shoulders of the characters. It’s better not to push them together, but just close the ear into which the devil whispers, there’s no need to listen to him...
Don't make promises you can't keep!
To ensure that your promises are fulfilled, do not set too difficult tasks for yourself. Remember my motto “start small.” If you have never exercised and want to overcome yourself and start doing it, then start with light exercises in the morning. There is no need to force yourself to achieve marathon records.
In this case, you will not be able to keep your promises and will scold yourself for it. Set yourself achievable goals.
Don't force yourself. Find time to relax. If you understand that you cannot fulfill a promise, make its conditions easier for yourself.
Some people find it easy to exercise every day, but for others, a 10-minute run will be a big test of willpower.
Therefore, choose goals within your capabilities.
Prefer long-term promises over short-term ones
Make promises on a regular basis, create a long-term plan, and do not limit yourself to single promises. Instead of promising yourself to drink no more than once a week just this week, make a plan to drink no more than once a week in general from now on.
Gradually complicate the conditions of the promise: drink no more than once a month or promise yourself not to drink at all.
Celebrate promises fulfilled
Carry a piece of paper or electronic media with you where you write down all the promises you make to yourself. When you complete something, check the box. Personally, I am always pleased to mark completed plans in an electronic diary. When I check the box next to a completed task, I feel a small victory. “Another completed task,” I think.
Don't beat yourself up if you can't keep your promises.
You may not be able to do everything at once. There is no need to reproach yourself for this, give up and think that you are a completely weak-willed person. Let me tell you right away that keeping promises to yourself is hard. It took me a while to learn this.
If it were possible to assign a difficulty level to all my recommendations, then I would not be able to classify this post as an easy post. But this is not a reason for anyone not to try these tips.
You may need some at least slightly developed skills to keep promises.
I repeat, start with easy promises. There is no need to suddenly leave your comfort zone.
It is important that promises to do or not do something in the future do not turn into a reason for you to get carried away by momentary weaknesses in the present.
The point of this post is not only to teach you how to complete the tasks. First of all, I want you to learn to set these tasks for yourself.
So that you move from optionality and uncertainty to honesty and confidence.
The main thing is that you get into the habit of formulating clear and definite promises instead of vague intentions, replacing “must” with “I promise” or “I will.” And then your level of self-discipline will increase!
I wish you good luck! Set goals for yourself and achieve them!
Life is not always a sunny day with flowers and butterflies. Sometimes it can be very difficult. It took a lot of price to get to where you are now, so the best way to make sure it doesn't go in vain is to move forward. Free yourself from the negativity of the world - from ignorant people telling you what to do and what not to do. Promise yourself to look forward, live in the future, and get there. In other words, start making positive promises to yourself!
Promise to never give up, to push harder to get what you want, to laugh louder and longer, and to push your doubts to the curb so they don't poison your life. Promise yourself to become a person who will be taken into account in your own life - because that is exactly what you are.
Promise this to yourself and keep your promise.
Repeat after me: “I promise...”
1. Don't let the past determine my future.
Your past problems, failures, weaknesses, regrets and mistakes can teach you a lot if you are willing to learn, and punish you severely if you are not. So let them teach you. And if you regret some of the decisions you made in the past, stop eating yourself. You did what you thought was best there and then, based on what you knew and your own experience. The mind that made this decision was much younger. And if you were making this decision today, from the height of accumulated experience and wisdom, you would undoubtedly act differently. So be lenient with yourself. Time and experience are a great path to personal growth, helping us make much better decisions for ourselves and those we care about.
2. Be the master of your own life and never give up responsibility for it
“Well-wishers” told you that you should blame your parents, teachers, education system, government, and so on for your failures, but should never blame yourself for anything? Well, stop with this! Failures are always your own fault, first of all, because if you want to change, if you want to become someone else, the only person who can do this for you is yourself. Your life is your responsibility. So become its owner!
3. Live as my heart tells me, and not as others want.
Allow yourself to follow the path that can make you happy. And understand that many of those who are now walking next to you will refuse to take this path with you - they simply do not like the fact that you make decisions for yourself, and there is nothing you can do about it. Sometimes when you decide to pursue your own happiness, it comes into conflict with someone else's perception of this world. But sometimes, in order to achieve something wonderful, you have to sacrifice something. And sometimes this “something” turns out to be people who want you to dance to their tune.
4. Get rid of relationships with people who lead nowhere
Most people come into your life just to teach you something. They come and go, but they leave something behind. And if they decide not to stay in your life, that's generally okay. Not all relationships last forever, but the lessons they taught you stay with you. And if you learn to open your heart and mind, every person in your life, even those who drive you crazy, can teach you something worthwhile. Sometimes, when you realize that you spent a lot of time with a person who is no longer around, you get a very strange feeling, but... that’s life. And you are now exactly where you should be.
5. Don't let any situation steal my smile forever.
Even on the darkest day of your life, try to remember that you are you. Try to remember the things that truly changed your life. And then realize how far you've come - and smile. There is nothing stronger and more beautiful in this world than a smile breaking through tears. Anyone can smile in happy times. But smiling when you want to cry is true strength and resilience. Remember - everything will be fine. Sooner or later, one way or another. The main thing is to keep moving forward. You will emerge from the crucible of sorrow a hundred times stronger than you were.
6. Trying to get out of my comfort zone
Just because you're having a hard time doesn't mean you're bound to fail. In order to achieve true success, you need to work and work. Remember - if it’s difficult for you, it means that at this very moment you are becoming stronger and smarter. And the more you fight with fate, the faster you will learn. And it’s better to spend ten minutes straining all your strength than an hour spitting at the ceiling. Practice every day until you feel like you've reached your limit—then keep going. Give it your all and a little more, make mistakes, learn from them - and continue.
And, of course, if you have problems with any of these points, know that you are not alone. We've all had to deal with this. And many are now invisibly next to you, trying to become better, think more clearly, and direct their life to the path on which you would like to see it.
MARC AND ANGEL CHERNOFF
Translation
I continue to sum up 2015 and summarize scattered thoughts. At the same time, I decided to publicly make myself several promises for the next year.
In 2016 I promise myself:
1. Give yourself more love and attention. “I” should always come first for any person. Firstly, only a happy person can make others happy, because you cannot share what is not there. Secondly, only a strong, healthy, strong person in every sense can help others - often desire alone is not enough, there must also be opportunities. Finally, thirdly, every woman wants to smile at her reflection in the mirror. And for this it is necessary that the reflection corresponds to the ideal. If you look like a scarecrow, then there is nothing to smile about. So I promise
- today finish the “beauty schedule”, in which you describe all the procedures for every day, and strictly adhere to it;
- Stop focusing solely on price when purchasing skincare products; savings are important, but the ingredients on the packages are written for a reason, and no one canceled the experience, because if the brand was rude before, then there is no reason to believe that it has changed for the better;
- look every day in such a way that you won’t be ashamed to stand in front of the camera at any moment;
- admit the fact that I have bad, weak nails (and my hands are my weak point and are in terrible condition), and, not forgetting about strengthening supplements and procedures, regularly do extensions and corrections (and regularly - this is once every 2-3 weeks , and not in season and before important events);
- honestly don’t cut your hair for a year (light periodic trimming doesn’t count) and see what, coupled with my numerous masks, this will lead to;
- achieve by the end of 2016 those goals that are “tied” to well-being and appearance.
2. Give more love and attention to your husband, home and friends. And this is not at all difficult - there is plenty of time in the day, but most often it is spent very irrationally. If earlier I thought that Internet addiction was not for me, today I am ready to admit that I am addicted to a number of social networks and the news. So I promise
- take full charge of caring for the house and no longer try to delegate it to your husband (it is not forbidden to ask him for help);
- give the house a cozy look by actively working on its furnishings;
- stop hiding beautiful tablecloths and expensive plates “for a special occasion” in boxes and cabinets: every day is unique and deserves the best;
- develop an effective schedule that allows enough time for daily relaxation so that this time can be spent with your husband or friends.
3. Pay attention to self-development. In my case, this term includes learning foreign languages, reading and listening to audio books and lectures, professional growth, meditation and sports (cardio, strength training, swimming, yoga). All of these items are included in my list of goals for 2016. So I promise
- read at least 84 books (the list was compiled in advance, but if necessary it can be adjusted, including quantitatively - upward);
- read at least one book each in French, Spanish, English and Arabic (in the latter case, reading comprehension is not yet necessary :));
- take the Basic Internet Copywriting Course by Pavel Berestnev twice - the second time with a mentor in order to pass the test and gain access to paid orders of the Copywriting League;
- take (including repeat - refresh) all the professional courses that I have, as well as the “Implementation Wizard” training;
- include time in your daily schedule for morning stretching and meditation;
- adhere to a developed sports plan, which includes three sports sessions (cardio plus strength training) per week, and gradually increase the number of sports days;
- achieve by the end of 2016 those goals that are “tied” to growth and self-development.
4. Stop freezing. I'm sick of it. Today I got angry, opened all the windows wide and took off one of the sweaters - and you know, I felt warm all day. And in general, I am sure that everything starts from the head. So I promise
- to harden yourself and by next winter - perhaps - swim in the sea all year round, that would be cool;
- engage in self-hypnosis - I’m sure that I can convince myself that the girl is warm :);
- If possible, find environmentally friendly and economical means of heating.
What promises should you make to yourself? Everyone now strives to live to the fullest - this approach is found in books, in films, sung in songs and poems, there are many statements on this topic. You are advised to live wisely, freely and happily. Sometimes it all seems like a boring cliché. No one thinks deeper into the idea - it is clear that everyone wants to live to the fullest, receive maximum emotions and impressions. But how to achieve all this? Here are a few things to promise yourself to achieve success.
Learn to accept your strengths and weaknesses
Remind yourself that everyone comes into this world for a purpose. You are worthy to live, to believe, to love. To feel important to the world, you must overcome self-esteem issues and learn to love yourself. Try to be your main support. The best thing you can do for yourself is to learn to accept yourself unconditionally.
Talk about yourself with love
Another helpful promise to make to yourself is that you will be your own biggest fan, not your own worst critic. Many people around you will be happy to criticize you and destroy your self-confidence. Don't become one of them. Support yourself, help yourself in difficult times. Only you can do the most for yourself.
Always remember that you can't control everything
The belief that you can control everything and everyone in your life is completely wrong. You can't become a happy person if you don't admit that you are. Everyone has defeats, things go differently, each person has their own priorities. But don't despair. In fact, you don't need to control everything around you to live your best life. You just have to watch how you think.
Choose your opponents correctly
You will be challenged every now and then, so just remember that you don't have to prove anything to anyone. In fact, it's completely unnecessary. Make the right choice and don't try to get involved in any competition. Choose your opponent wisely and compete only when it really matters.
Forget the mistakes of the past and save only useful experiences
There is no point in reliving your past failures again and again, worrying and worrying about what has already passed. You will only spoil your mood. Instead, try to look at your past objectively and figure out what exactly you could have done better. You can't go back, so try to move forward.
Maintain a calm mood
Believe that the source of happiness is inside you - no one can ruin your mood if you don’t allow it yourself. Try to be a positive person and improve yourself. Try to see the bright side of everything.
Do not give up your own values and beliefs
You determine your own values and priorities. Figure out what is really important to you and try to follow your principles to the maximum. Don't let temptations - money, fame - change your path and turn you into a person you are not. Follow your own ideals and don’t chase others’. 
Learn to live in the present
Enjoy every bite of your favorite dish. Try to listen and understand everything your best friend tells you. Give your attention to the people you love. Don't rush, don't take everything for granted. Life is not a competition, but a wonderful adventure worth enjoying every minute.
Letting go of things that drag you into the past
Life is too short to hold on to people and things that bring you down. Don't cling to them. You know you can be above this.
Stay motivated to pursue your goal
Don't be afraid to pursue your goals, arm yourself with knowledge and keep doing what you love. Your interests fill your life with meaning. Develop them, find new ways for self-improvement.
See the positive sides in any event
If you take yourself too seriously, you will quickly burn out and feel despair. You don't want to be a tired, exhausted person, do you? Of course not. Find a balance between fun and discipline, and look at any situation with humor. This skill will quickly make you happier and more confident.
