So, what are social emotions and feelings? These include moral (moral), intellectual and aesthetic.
Moral emotions and feelings arise in children and develop in the process of communication and in the course of joint activities and are largely determined by moral norms and moral principles.
Intellectual are those emotions and feelings that arise in children in the process of learning about reality. The intellectual feelings of preschoolers are expressed in cognitive interests, curiosity, in experiences associated with the search for truth, with the analysis and solution of problem situations.
Aesthetic emotions and feelings are those that arise in a child when perceiving and creating the beautiful, sublime, comic, and tragic. Such emotions and feelings are evoked in children by both the creations of nature and the creations of human hands.

The formation of higher human feelings and emotions occurs in the process of the child’s assimilation of social values, social requirements, norms and ideals, which, under certain conditions, become the internal property of the child’s personality, the content of the incentive motives for his behavior.

In this regard, A.V. Zaporozhets gives the following definition of social emotions: “social emotions are emotions that have acquired stability and a social orientation and reflect the desire to do something useful not only for oneself, but also for other people, for surrounding adults or peers.” As a result of such assimilation, the child acquires a unique system of standards of values, by comparing observed phenomena with which he evaluates them emotionally as attractive or repulsive, as interesting, surprising or uninteresting, ordinary, good or evil, as beautiful or ugly. In accordance with it, as A.V. writes. Zaporozhets, even before a preschooler begins to act, he has an emotional image that reflects both the future result and the assessment from adults - teachers and parents.

Emotionally anticipating the consequences of his behavior, the child already knows in advance whether he is going to act well or badly. Anticipation of the useful result of actions, and the resulting high evaluation from adults, is associated with positive emotions, which additionally stimulate behavior. The mechanism of emotional anticipation of the consequences of an activity underlies the emotional regulation of a child’s actions. The development of the emotional sphere goes “hand in hand” with the formation of voluntary regulation. This voluntariness first appears in play activities, and at 5-6 years of age it enters into other types of activities. Thanks to this, emotional processes begin to actualize traces of past experience, i.e. as if to transport the child not only to the future, but also to the past, hence the possibility of the appearance of such phenomena as “shame”, “feelings of guilt”. The above emotions and feelings are psychological new formations that characterize the personality of a preschool child as a whole, his “I system” and worldview.

Relieving the state of emotional discomfort.

A). The child is asked to depict the gaits of various people and animals, for example: to walk like a small child, like an old man, like a clown in a circus, like a kitten, like a bear, etc. He can come up with variations of gaits himself.

b). You can play this game in another way, asking the children to guess by their gait who they wanted to portray. During this exercise, tension is relieved and children are emotionally liberated.

2. “My emotions”

The game is aimed at the ability to feel the mood of others, as well as the ability to correctly convey one’s emotions. The child is invited to frown like an angry person, like an autumn cloud, get angry, like a hungry wolf, like an evil witch, get scared, like a cowardly bunny, like a kitten who sees a dog, smile like a sly fox, like a happy one, rejoice like flowers in the sun, like birds in spring.

3. “Show the mood”

This game relieves emotional and muscle tension.

The adult himself shows the movement and asks the child to portray the mood: “We fly like a butterfly, and now like an eagle, we walk like a little one, and now like an old grandfather. Let's play like a clown in a circus, and now like a frog in a swamp. Let’s walk thoughtfully, like a person who doesn’t know what to do, let’s jog across the sunny lawn.”

4. Game-discussion “Relationships”

This game is based on a discussion of the poem “House with a Bell” by L. Kuzmin:

There is a small old house above a green hillock.

There is a bell hanging at the entrance,

Decorated with silver.

And if you gently, quietly

If you call him, then believe him,

That an old lady will wake up in the house,

Gray-haired old lady,

And he will immediately open the door.

The old lady will say affably:

- Come in, don’t be shy, my friend.

The samovar will be placed on the table

A pie will be baked in the oven.

And he will be with you

Drink tea until dark.

And a good old fairy tale

She'll tell you.

But if, but if, but if

You are in this cozy home

You start knocking with your fist,

You will raise the ringing and thunder,

Then Baba Yaga will come out,

And you won’t hear fairy tales,

And there is no pie in sight.

After reading the poem, discuss it with your child and find out that the result depends on behavior, on attitude towards people, on intentions, that how you treat others determines how they will treat you. Ask the following questions:

Why in the second part of the poem did not the kind old woman, but Baba Yaga, come out to the child from the same house?

Why did the old woman give the child tea and pies and read a good fairy tale?

5. “Mimic gymnastics”

Invite your child to perform the following facial exercises: wrinkle his forehead - relax. Raise your eyebrows - relax. Wrinkle your forehead - raise your eyebrows - relax. Close your eyes - open and widen your eyes - raise your eyebrows - open your mouth - relax. Wrinkle your nose, widen your nostrils - relax. Smile.

6. "Mood"

This game allows the child to understand how different moods are related to each other.

The child sits on. An adult throws a ball and names a certain mood. The child, in turn, throws the ball back, calling the opposite mood. For example:

kind angry; cheerful - sad; clear - gloomy; quiet - loud; beautiful - scary; warm - cold; strong - weak; silent - sociable.

7. “Continue the sentence”

The child sits on. The thrower says some unfinished sentence, and the one who catches the ball must complete it.

8. "Listen"

This exercise helps children pay attention to themselves, their feelings and emotions.

Ask your child to sit comfortably and close their eyes. We sit quietly and listen to what is happening around us, inside us. Let's listen to our feelings. Next, let him share what he felt, what he wanted, what he heard.

9. “Role gymnastics”

The game is aimed at relieving tension, at emotional revitalization, and helps expand the child’s behavioral situations.

A). Tell a poem (child's choice) as follows:

Very fast;

Whisper;

At a snail's pace;

As a foreigner;

Like a robot.

b). Walk like:

Baby;

A very old man.

V). Smile like:

Cat in the sun;

Like the sun itself.

G). Sit like:

Bee on a flower;

Rider on a horse.

d). Jump like:

Grasshopper;

Kangaroo.

e). Frown like:

Autumn cloud;

Angry Mom;

Angry lion.

This game can be played when you have guests at home. Not only adults, but also adults will enjoy playing it. To do this, you can use various drawings, applications made by the child and packaged in envelopes, parcels, etc. Each player is assigned a number that will act as his address. Before the game, you can ask the players to guess riddles that are related to mail. For example:

Blue house at the gate.

Guess who lives in it.

The door is narrow under the roof -

Not for the squirrel, not for the mouse

Not for the bottom tenant -

A talkative starling.

News is flying through this door,

They spend half an hour together.

The news does not stay at home -

They fly in all directions.

(Mailbox)

What travels around the world staying in the same corner?

Each participant then decides to whom he wants to send his letter or parcel and puts the corresponding address number on it. If you notice that no one has sent anything to one of the children, send it to him yourself - in this game no one should feel lonely and offended. After this, all mail is given to a pre-selected postman, who delivers letters and parcels to the recipients.

This game is relaxing. With its help, muscle tension is relieved, you calm down and relax.

Children lie on the floor, arms along the body, eyes closed. The adult gives the following instructions: “Guys, the game “Magic Dream” begins.” You will not truly fall asleep, you will feel and hear everything, but you will not talk, move or open your eyes until you “wake up”. Listen carefully to me and repeat my words to yourself. Rest easy. Let everyone have a good, kind “magic dream”.

Eyelashes drooping...

Eyes are closing...

We rest peacefully

We fall asleep in a magical sleep.

Breathe easily, evenly, deeply.

Our hands are resting...

The legs also rest - They rest, they fall asleep...

Relax, fall asleep...

The neck is not tense

And relaxed... .

Lips part slightly

Everything is wonderfully relaxing...

Everything is wonderfully relaxing -

The tension has flown away...

And the whole body is relaxed...

It's like we're lying on the grass

On the green, soft grass...

The sun is shining now...

Our feet are warm...

Breathe easily... evenly... deeply...

Lips are warm and limp,

And not at all tired.

We rested peacefully.

We fell asleep in a magical sleep.

It's good for us to rest!

But it's time to get up!

We clench our fists tighter.

We raise them higher.

Stretch!

Smile!

Open your eyes and stand up."

In the process of this, imitating the movements of animals, he improves and develops the expressiveness of his movements, learns to control his body. The game promotes liberation.

"Bunny"

The arms are bent in front of you, the hands are down. Jumps, moving simultaneously on two legs forward, backward, sideways. He looks around timidly.

"Kitty"

Get on all fours, stretch your right “paw” forward, lean on it, and pull up your back “paw”. Then do the same with your left hand and foot. Bend over.

Place your bent legs together and squat down slightly, taking small steps. “Curl up”: sit down, clasping your knees with your hands, head down.

"Cockerel"

Walk, raising your legs high, bent at the knees, flapping your “wing” arms on your sides. Head held high.

"Sparrow"

It jumps on two legs at the same time, then “flies”: it runs, waving its “wing” arms, the movements are frequent and not wide. Sparrow sat on a branch: squat down, group.

"Horse"

Hit with a hoof - raises and lowers the leg, sliding the toe back and forth on the floor. Then he gallops at a side gallop - he puts one leg to the other as he gallops. He runs, raising his legs bent at the knees high. The head is raised, the body is straight.

The nature of emotions

Intellectualistic approach. Organic manifestations of emotions act as a consequence of mental phenomena.
Theory I.F. Herbart. The scientist claims that the most important psychological fact is the representation, respectively, of feelings - this is the connection between existing ideas; they can be seen as a reaction to a conflict between ideas.
Position of V. Wundt. Emotions represent certain changes that characterize the influence of feelings on the course of the ideas themselves.

Types of Social Emotions

Social emotions are usually divided into positive and negative.

Positive/conjunctive. Positive social emotions appear when a group of people is aimed at achieving common goals, the result of which brings satisfaction to the participants. Typically, such social emotions can range from weak preference to deep affection. With the latter, exclusively positive intentions are attributed to the partner (in the case of love), which, of course, are often not so objective.
Negative/disjunctive. Negative social emotions appear when a situation of competition arises: the success of one person entails the failure of another, which often leads to conflict. As a rule, a person can only notice in such an opponent what is unpleasant to him, ignoring his positive qualities.

Development of social emotions

The development of social emotions is subject to the general development of the psyche in ontogenesis (Fig. 1).

Picture 1. " "

Emotions undoubtedly play one of the most important roles in children's lives. They help children perceive the surrounding reality. In addition, with the help of emotions, children can show any reactions to stimuli in the world around them. Thus, the expression of emotions in children manifests itself in a more direct way than in adults, but in the same ways: verbally and nonverbally.

The formation and development of social emotions is also extremely important for the successful life of a child.

The basis for the formation of social emotions is moral education. It occurs based on the lives of individual people around us, on the world as a whole.

Social emotions are understood as deeply internalized social norms that constitute the subconscious in the structure of the personality and have a regulatory function. Social emotions are considered as constant emotional attitudes towards the norms and rules of behavior accepted in a given society; as determining a positive emotional attitude towards some rules, assessments, norms and a negative one towards others; as regulators of communication between peoples, making appropriate behavior common for a given society, and helping to socialize children in a direction adequate for society.

A distinctive feature of the class of social emotions is the character mediated by social norms, and the specific function is to consolidate the experience of entering and mastering the surrounding society of norms and rules, which acquires internal significance and becomes an emotional experience.

The child’s assimilation of social values, requirements, norms and ideals, under certain conditions, become the internal property of the individual. As a result, the child acquires a unique system of measures, standards of value, with which, comparing observed phenomena, the child evaluates them as attractive or repulsive, good and evil, beautiful and ugly.

Emotions throughout childhood undergo development under the influence of social conditions of life and upbringing. Gradually, higher emotions and feelings are formed that have no analogues in animals - compassion, empathy, care for loved ones, a sense of duty, mutual assistance, responsiveness.

Already at preschool age, higher human feelings begin to form, and the source of their origin is the practical activity of the child, during which he realizes his relationships with the outside world and assimilates the values and ideals created by society, masters social norms and rules of behavior.

A decisive role in the development of social emotions is played by the child’s inclusion in joint activities with other children and adults, which allows him to experience and feel the need to comply with norms and rules. In the process, the simplest social motives for activity are formed, which consist in the desire to do something necessary, useful, not only for oneself, but also for other people; and also develop special forms of social orientation, attention to other people, which is a necessary condition for the emergence of empathy, sympathy for their joys and sorrows, their needs and requirements.

Social emotions – These are emotions and feelings that arise when social needs are satisfied. These include feelings caused by unintended and undesired social position, discrepancy between how we want to look and how we actually look, discrediting the basic attitude of the attitude (embarrassment, shyness, social anxiety), etc.

As with any other type of emotion (biological or psychological), social emotions can be positive (sometimes called unifying, or conjunctive) and negative (sometimes called dividing, or disjunctive).

Positive feelings usually arise when people pursue common goals, the achievement of which brings everyone some satisfaction. Participants in communication in such situations are interdependent: the initiative and activity of one depends on the contribution made by others. Accordingly, each side views the other as a desired object. A lover or comrade is valued, such a person is cared for, protected, supported, given gifts, and sometimes contributed to the development of his abilities.

Positive feelings range in intensity from mild preference to deep devotion. When experiencing positive feelings, as a rule, only the most desirable intentions are attributed to the partner. The fact that the desire of the perceiver may not correspond to the objective qualities of the object of love can be easily discovered by observing the behavior of a person in love: he attributes the most sublime motives to his partner, justifies him in everything, stubbornly does not notice his shortcomings and endows him with precisely those qualities that he is used to admiring .

Negative feelings usually arise when one person's success results in another person's failure. A situation of rivalry arises, the consequence of which, as a rule, is a conflict: the enemy is seen as a dangerous object and must be disabled or destroyed. Disjunctive feelings are supported by contrasting concepts. In the behavior of the opposite party, only what is considered disgusting is noticed. Since almost every human action can receive several interpretations, then, as a rule, the actual behavior of the opponent does not matter. If he behaves courageously, he is called a fanatic; if in the face of impressive opposition he retreats, he is called a coward. Since the enemy is regarded as something inferior, the use of the principle “the end justifies the means” is justified in relation to him. Opponents attribute unrealistic motives to each other and then react emotionally to the images they themselves have constructed. This explains the fact that rivals and enemies rarely understand each other.

Social emotions

emotions and feelings that arise when social needs are satisfied.

The most important social emotions that regulate the nature of interpersonal relationships usually include embarrassment, shyness, envy and jealousy. Let's look at some of them in more detail.

FROM THE WORK EXPERIENCE OF FOREIGN PSYCHOLOGISTS

A group of British psychologists led by M. Argyll conducted a series of studies on the influence of various types of relationships on feelings of happiness and satisfaction. They identified the following hierarchy of types of relationships: the most significant source of satisfaction is the spouse. Close relatives and friends take the next place, work colleagues and neighbors are in last place. At the same time, three factors were identified that determine the degree of satisfaction: material (tangible) help, emotional support (including the degree of trust and self-disclosure, turning to another as a confidant) and community of interests.

Why is marriage so significant? When comparing the behavior of spouses in happy and conflicting marriages, it turned out that in happy marriages positive statements significantly prevail over negative ones and especially over critical ones. In disharmonious marriages, quarrels are very frequent, and husbands view them more negatively than wives. Harmonious marriages are characterized by a predominance of positive non-verbal behavioral acts (for example, kisses, gifts, help). They are characterized by greater satisfaction with their intimate life, more hours spent together, agreement on financial matters, and a joint approach to solving problems that arise. Mutual reinforcement and support are essential. Each partner brings something different, and sex and communication simultaneously serve as encouragement for both.

Marriage contains sources of all kinds of conflicts. However, it also contains great opportunities for satisfaction. One study found that marital satisfaction could be predicted by the following data: frequency of intimacy minus number of arguments. Overall satisfaction depends on the balance of these two components.

Friendship - independent source of happiness. It is less important than marriage or family life, but more important than work or leisure (although this ratio may vary for different age groups). Friendship is most important for young people, from adolescence until marriage. At this time, it is the main type of relationship and becomes significant again in old age, after retirement or the loss of loved ones reduces the number of human connections. In between these two periods, family and work take up much more time than friendships. An interesting difference between the sexes was found: women form closer friendships than men and have more intimate conversations. They are more prone to self-disclosure, while men are more prone to joint activities and games.

One study found that friends eat, drink, talk, and spend leisure time together. The combination of socializing with food and drink seems to be the most characteristic feature of friendly meetings. Friends instantly lift each other's spirits, either in the form of fun and entertainment characteristic of children and young people, or in a calmer form characteristic of older people.

It has been discovered that people need friends for three reasons:

1) material assistance and information, although friends provide it to a lesser extent than family or colleagues;

2) social support in the form of advice, sympathy, confidential communication, or simply a common outlook on the world (for some married women, friends in this regard are more important than husbands);

3) community of interests, joint activities, common games.

Social skills and the ability to find and maintain friendships include the ability to communicate in a supportive style, provide mutual favors, and express friendly affection. The ability to communicate with third parties is important. Friends do not come alone: everyone carries with them connections with a whole group of their friends and acquaintances, and it is very important to learn how to communicate correctly with this system of friendly contacts. Friendships can fall apart when people are jealous of their friends' other relationships, are unable to keep secrets, or cannot stand up for a friend in their absence.

The source of fairly strong social emotions is relatives, especially siblings, parents and adult children. When they meet, they usually eat together and share family news. They just enjoy being together. If necessary, they are ready to provide significant assistance, for example, look after children, help with money, provide support in case of difficulties at work or other troubles. At the same time, relatives spend their leisure time together much less often (friends have an advantage here), in addition, completely different attitudes towards life values and lifestyle are more often observed between relatives. Brother and sister are one of the most powerful and satisfying bonds, but they have a complex relationship. They may experience a strong sense of community and togetherness, but also feelings of jealousy and competition that begin in early childhood.

The significance of family ties can be explained by the following: during prolonged cohabitation from early childhood in the same family, a kind of conditioned reflex ties are formed. Another hypothesis is that people care about the well-being of their genes and, therefore, of those who share the same genes. Women tend to be more involved in kinship ties than men, especially with female relatives (for example, ties between mother and daughter or between sisters).

What is the source of happiness derived from family ties? In constructive help, which is much higher than the help provided by friends, and in very strong, long-lasting attachments, which are expressed in lifelong attention and care, pleasure from communicating with each other.

Satisfaction from communication at work is more important for those who are popular, belong to small, close-knit work groups, and for those who have the opportunity to communicate directly while working. This is satisfaction of a practical, instrumental nature, for example, from advice received or assistance in work, from cooperation in completing a joint task. As a rule, people talk a lot at work, joke and gossip both during work and during the lunch break.

Level of satisfaction received from communication with neighbors, Quite modest and mostly associated with minor day-to-day mutual assistance. Quite often, communication between neighbors is structured like a conversation across a garden fence; From time to time, cooperation may arise on more serious issues of local importance (proposed construction of housing, roads). Neighbors are important for those family members who are at home most of the time. They provide assistance with childcare and grocery shopping. Neighbors are important to older people because they can be their main source of social contact.

(Cm.: Argyll M. Psychology of happiness: Trans. from English –

M.: Progress, 1990. – pp. 43-56.)

Embarrassment. Let's imagine the scene: in a cafe during a break between classes, you are talking with the professor about an important idea that came to your mind, and, carried away by the presentation, you spill coffee on yourself. It is obvious that you look ridiculous, stupid, not at all what you would like. You are confused.

Embarrassment

a feeling that arises as a result of a discrepancy between how a person wants to look and how he actually looks; Concern about external image, caused by increased attention to a person in a situation of real action or as a result of unexpected discrediting of the basic attitude towards the nature of the relationship.

Embarrassment occurs as a result of a discrepancy between how a person wants to look and how he actually looks. In other words, embarrassment is caused by an unexpected and inappropriate discrediting of the basic attitude towards the nature of the relationship. So, in our example, if you tried to appear intelligent, calm, competent, confident, then your image of a competent person was distorted by the spilled coffee, and you became embarrassed because you “lost face.” In this case, the loss of face occurred against your desire. If you were playing on stage, then there would be no trace of any feeling of embarrassment in such a situation. Thus, personal humiliation becomes a cause of embarrassment.

Embarrassment is sometimes explained by the fact that a person finds himself in the center of attention despite his desire. As a result, emotional reactions arise (a blush of shame, looking at the floor, agitation), which are called and experienced as embarrassment.

The state of embarrassment caused by the consciousness of one's own inadequacy was investigated in an interesting experiment carried out by A. Modigliani (see Duck, 1990). He held a series of different “competitions”, some of the participants of which, without knowing it, were expected to perform poorly and thus let the entire team down. Those who experienced the bitterness of failure in front of others were very embarrassed, much more than those who were lucky enough to fail in public. The latter did not worry too much, and even then mainly because others were soon to learn about their failure. Those who were very embarrassed made great efforts to restore their self-esteem and regain the respect of other team members. Modigliani noted six tactics used for this:

The desire to shift attention to something else (“How long do I have to wait, I have an appointment soon?”).
The desire to make excuses (“Fluorescent lamps make it difficult for me to concentrate”).
The desire to show off your other strengths (“Actually, tennis is not my thing, I love chess”).
The desire to reject the very idea of competition (“What’s the use of eating with chopsticks when there’s a fork nearby”),
Denial of defeat (“Try to please her”).
Desire to find support (“I hope I didn’t let you guys down too much?”).

Thus, the key characteristic of embarrassment is a person’s concern about his external image, due to increased attention to it in a situation of real action. The idea of self-concept helps explain the cause of embarrassment: the concept of self includes not only “what I think about myself,” but also “what I think others think about me.” If I feel that the respect of others for me is falling, it worries me.

However, the threat to a person's self-concept can be minimized if those who observed the stressful situation make it known that the incident will not affect their attitude towards the “victim”. To help your partner overcome embarrassment, you can use certain communication techniques. In our example, such assistance could take the following forms:

1) reducing the importance of what happened: “Don’t worry, nothing happened, spilled coffee is such a small thing compared to what we are discussing”;

2) an indication of mitigating circumstances: “It is difficult to hold a cup while sitting on such a rickety chair”;

3) recollection of one’s own experience of similar situations: “Don’t worry, something similar happens to me when I’m passionate about an idea.”

For his part, to restore the status quo, an embarrassed person can either turn the incident into a joke, or resort to an apology or some other means, such as those described above.

It is important that in order to overcome embarrassment, both parties need to make efforts to restore the “public image” of the victim, or to confirm that the incident did not in any way affect the attitude towards him.

Envy. The French writer F. de La Rochefoucauld has an aphorism: “People often boast of the most criminal passions, but no one dares to admit to envy, a timid and bashful passion.” The feeling of envy is akin to the feeling of fear, anxiety, anger, malice and is one of the most profound experiences.

Envy is always based on social comparison, although the process of social comparison itself does not always give rise to envy. If, when making a comparison, a person discovers someone's superiority - the other has higher achievements, greater abilities or more attractive personal characteristics - then the reaction of the comparer may be a decrease in self-esteem, accompanied by annoyance, grief, hostility or even hatred towards the one who is superior to him; desire or actual harm to him. Thus, envy manifests itself on three levels:

at the level of consciousness - as awareness of a lower position;
at the level of emotional experience - as a feeling of annoyance, irritation or anger because of this situation (and envy can appear both as an emotion - situational envy, and as a feeling - persistent envy, and as a passion - all-encompassing envy);
at the level of real behavior - as various kinds of destructive acts aimed at destroying, eliminating the object of envy (for example, spreading rumors, slander, slander, etc.).

So, envy is a feeling that arises when an individual does not have what another person has, and passionately desires to have this object (quality, achievement, success) or to deprive another person of the object of envy.

Envy

a feeling that arises when an individual does not have what another person has, and passionately desires to have this object or to deprive another person of the object of envy.

The fundamental premise of envy is the superiority of another person and the awareness of his inferior position in connection with this. An envious person interprets someone else's success as his own failure.

True, the possibilities for comparison are limited to certain social boundaries. An envious person, as a rule, compares his position, his achievements with the position and achievements of those who are close to him in social status (“a potter is jealous of a potter”, “a king is jealous of a king”). The lives of people close in status are more accessible for comparison and analysis. In addition, the immediate environment is most often the reference group, the reference point in relation to which the subject measures and evaluates his achievements and gains, failures and losses. Thus, the shorter the social distance, the higher the likelihood of envy. In turn, large differences rarely cause envy (“a beggar does not envy a nobleman”). The envious person is oppressed mainly by small differences. According to available empirical data, the emergence of envy is greatly facilitated by personality traits such as ambition, selfishness, vanity, selfishness, and laziness. Envy is often generated by a lack of internal ideological and psychological balance and harmony. It does not occur or occurs less frequently in an independent, self-sufficient, unprejudiced person, passionate about his own, and not other people’s, affairs.

There are several forms, or types, of envy: malicious (or hostile) and non-malignant (or competitive). People talk about black and white envy. Some authors identify depressive envy as a special type, also generated by a humiliated position, but resulting from a feeling of injustice.

Gentle envy - the desire to have what someone else has. Malicious envy - the desire to ensure that another does not have what he has. The focus of evil envy, therefore, is the elimination, the destruction of its object. Anyone driven by gentle envy only wants to be like his rival: “I want to have what he has.” The one who is driven by evil envy wants to destroy: “I want him not to have what he has.” In the first case, a person strives to rise to the level of the object of envy, and in the second, to humiliate the object of envy to his own level. If the motive of a non-maliciously envious person - to become the same, to achieve the same - can be understood and morally accepted, then the motive of a maliciously envious person - to destroy, take away, eliminate the object of envy - is impossible to accept. What are the roots of malicious envy?

First of all, it is dictated by one’s own powerlessness, one’s own inability and the awareness of one’s status as hopelessly low. Since the goal of the maliciously envious person is to overcome inequality, but this task is beyond his strength, the only possible solution is to use an aggressive method: to humiliate the opponent, to reduce him to his level. Another reason may be due to the fact that a person who has superiority is perceived by the envier as the reason for his failures, his powerlessness and humiliated position and therefore arouses hatred towards himself.

Is it possible to neutralize envy? Are there ways to combat it?

At the social level, methods for curbing envy can include: respect for individual freedom, tolerance for differences, disclosure of the depravity of envy in the media, and finally, religion, which preaches the rejection of the temptation to encroach on someone else’s.

At the individual level, there are also a number of ways to neutralize it. In some countries, organizational leaders do not advertise employee salaries so as not to arouse feelings of envy. As a result, it is even considered indecent to ask questions about income. Self-control and self-education also inhibit the emergence of feelings of envy.

Jealousy. Envy and jealousy are opposite in their subject matter: the first is always annoyance and grief at someone else's success or well-being; the second strives to preserve what the subject already has. Modern dictionaries contrast envy and jealousy in terms of the direction of passion, respectively “towards oneself” and “from oneself”: envy stems from the desire to acquire what another has, while jealousy arises from the fear of losing what has already been acquired; the jealous person is concerned with control over people who are significant to him. Both feelings have an interpersonal context. However, envy is born from a dyadic relationship (the envier and the object of envy), and jealousy is born from a triadic relationship (jealous individual, partner, rival).

The reason for the emergence of jealousy, as some researchers believe, is a feeling of infringed pride and a violation of property rights. Where private property in general is jealously guarded, spouses may also treat each other as property. With this approach, the norms for the protection of private property also apply to marital and sexual relations. Thus, the jealous person appears as a defender of property. This may be why jealousy, unlike envy, is more often met with social approval, and sometimes even encouraged rather than suppressed by the public.

Let us turn once again to La Rochefoucauld: “Jealousy is to some extent reasonable and fair, for it wants to preserve our property or what we consider to be such, while envy is blindly indignant at the fact that our neighbors also have some property.” .

And yet the most important function of jealousy is the function of protecting the self-concept. Many aspects of a person’s ideas about his Self are related to sexual relationships, in many ways they are created and supported by a partner. Therefore, the threat of losing a partner turns into a threat of destruction of the individual’s self-concept.

However, we can talk not only about sexual partners. Jealousy arises between friends, between students in relation to the teacher, between employees - because of the location of the authorities, between children - for special attention from parents. Close people may be jealous of each other for some activity (sports, work, etc.), that is, for an excessive hobby, in their opinion. Envy and jealousy interfere even in business relationships. People often work together amicably until there is a suspicion that someone might get ahead and overtake the rest. A person may harbor a grudge against another because he is polite, handsome, and obviously liked by women, or he may dislike a colleague because he works hard and makes him feel remorse about his own laziness. Dislike can develop into hatred with all the ensuing consequences for joint activities. There are several forms of jealousy.

Despotic jealousy - a jealous person looks at his spouse or partner as a way to satisfy his needs, therefore he cannot and does not want to respect his personality and strives to subjugate it to himself. Jealousy in this case is a tool of submission. Egoists, emotionally cold people who do not tolerate the independence of others are despotically jealous.

Another form is jealousy, which arises from feelings own inferiority. Such a person continues to doubt his worth and his attractiveness, even when he is loved. He tries in every way to prevent his loved one from communicating with others in order to avoid any comparison. Often they try to neutralize the danger of comparison in advance by criticizing others, time, reasoning about universal depravity, depravity and their own moral purity. Such a jealous person does not behave as rudely as a despotic one, but uncontrolled jealousy in all its forms ruins relationships between people.

Often accusations of treason have no basis in reality - this is a kind of way to attribute one’s actions or desires to another, to transfer real or possible guilt to him. Jealousy depends not only on the intensity of experiences and the strength of feelings, but also on the characteristics of the individual and the level of his culture. Even if you love someone very much, you can not experience jealousy; you can also experience extreme jealousy without any special feelings of love.

Thus, embarrassment, shyness, envy and jealousy, being common social emotions, give interpersonal relationships a relatively unstable, tense character, and often pose a threat to their existence. In this regard, the problem of managing emotions and feelings becomes particularly relevant.

Most people believe that emotions are a natural, uncontrollable reaction of the human body to environmental events. Thanks to this myth, negative emotions, callousness, cruelty, and selfishness prevail in our society.

The theory of social psychoanalysis of emotions shows that the basic social emotions of a person arise and develop from childhood events, primarily from the circumstances of the child’s interaction with his parents. The theory also explains that young children masterfully control their emotions - turn them on, turn them off, and select them as keys to solve certain situations.

The theory debunks the myth of the uncontrollability of emotions and proves that managing emotions is natural for us. This is a return to the mastery that each of us had as children.

Here are the main provisions of the theory of social psychoanalysis of emotions:

Children are born not helpless, but strong enough and possessing all the necessary tools to manage their parents in order to take care of their interests and needs. Basic children's management tools: a complex of animation, surprise, interest, whining, different types of crying (discontent, aggression, fear, disgust). At the initial stage, this limited arsenal is enough for the child to control his parents.

From approximately 3 to 7 years old, children masterfully control their emotions, know for whom and why they are showing them, their emotions are intentional, conscious and voluntary.

At this age, a child can instantly start and stop his crying, select the required volume and timbre, and the addressee. Children clearly answer two questions: to whom are they crying and why. Also, from the age of 3, in order to beat parents and relatives, the child masters new, more serious, energetic emotions - hysteria, resentment, whims, irritation, anger, indignation, shyness, boredom, fatigue, fears, despair, horror.

From the age of 4, in the process of socialization, the child gradually begins to degrade the control of his emotions, which by the age of 16-18 turn into involuntary and uncontrollable.

In the process of communicating with peers, who are also professionals in emotional manipulation, the child realizes that the winner in the emotional battles of peers is the one who makes his emotions as strong as possible - that is, he connects the whole body, turns off his brains and makes himself seem uncontrollable. Children gradually begin to hide the intentionality of their emotions and shift responsibility for emotions to others. You develop the habit of not thinking in difficult situations, but worrying. Parental demands are accompanied by emotions, laying the groundwork for the Inner Saboteur.

Thus, between the ages of 16 and 18, the keys to controlling emotions are completely lost. The child puts on a mask. Emotions become a patterned habit, an involuntary, automatic reaction.

When entering adulthood, a child is faced with a choice: whether to regain the keys to control emotions or to believe that his emotions are involuntary.

If previously learned automatic emotions helped the child win, then when entering adulthood, an adult child understands that no one reacts to his emotions anymore, that it is no longer possible to get what he wants.

Someone grows up and regains the keys to controlling emotions. And someone remains in the state of a child and finds friends with whom they can continue to play with emotions, as in childhood, and continues, out of habit, to sort things out, argue, and take revenge on themselves and their Life.

If during the entire upbringing the parents do not control the child, then the child begins to control the parents.

If you do not manage the situation, then first of all the child learns the negative. The child begins to pick up keys and control parents with the help of negative emotions. Parents can control the child’s attention, switch and anticipate his demands, set rules and requirements, and show firmness. It is important not to indulge whims, but also not to accuse someone of cunning, as these are negative suggestions. Look for and instill positivity.

What do you think about the theory of social psychoanalysis of emotions?

Do you fully control your emotions or are the keys to controlling them lost somewhere?

Milena Vladimova

Types of Social Emotions

As with any other type of emotion (biological or psychological), social emotions can be positive (sometimes called unifying, or conjunctive) and negative (sometimes called dividing, or disjunctive).

Features of the development of social emotions in children. Emotions in social processes

Types of Social Emotions

Development of social emotions

Types of Social Emotions