Why can a person not be interested in anything?To answer this question, you must first understand what arouses a person’s interest in the first place.
What piques a person's interest?
I won’t beat around the bush, but I’ll say right away that positive emotions arouse interest. If you remember the moments when you were interested in something, you will notice that such moments were highly emotional. Moreover, emotions should be positive. Negative emotions cause a reverse reaction, i.e. flight and disgust.
Now think back to your life, or at least the last few months. How many things gave you positive emotions? Does your work give you positive emotions? Does family life evoke positive emotions? Does entertainment evoke positive emotions?
If not, then the reason for this is the lack of satisfaction of needs. It is difficult to be interested in a job (or study) that does not satisfy curiosity, the need for success, the need to excel over others, or the need for money. Why do you love such work and be interested in it?
The same is true in family life. If family life does not satisfy a person’s needs, then it is not surprising that the person is not interested in it. This happens with any area of life.
It happens that a person finds himself in a situation where none of the areas of life in which he is involved brings satisfaction. That's when a person becomes uninterested in anything.
Why do people find themselves in this situation?The fact is that in order for a person to receive something, he must first invest something. For example, if you want to receive love from another person, then first you need to do good to him. This creates the conditions (but not a guarantee) for the other person to want to do good to you. However, in order to make another person feel good, you need to feel good too. It turns out to be a vicious circle.
This principle works very clearly with money. To earn money, you first need to have some initial capital. When there is nothing to increase, then it is impossible to earn something.
How does interest relate to this? Directly. Lack of interest stems from a lack of positive emotions. Emotions rest on the lack of positive events in life. And the lack of positive events depends on the lack of resources.
Thus, the reason for the lack of interest is external environmental conditions. But there are also internal conditions that also greatly influence us, but it is with these conditions that we can do something.
Internal conditions for the emergence of interest
How do we measure life satisfaction? How do we know when we have succeeded?
Very simple. We feel satisfaction when we achieve some of our personal goals. Moreover, these goals may be different. From “eating a sandwich with butter” to “earning a million.”
It happens that a person sets goals for himself in isolation from his current life situation. Either too high or too low. In the first case, a person cannot receive immediate emotional reinforcement, since he cannot achieve the goal, and in the second, he does not deserve emotional reinforcement, since the goal is too easy.
Let me give you an example. Eating a sandwich with red caviar for some beggar is a great achievement that will make him euphoric for a week. Maybe he will remember this sandwich all his life. And for some millionaire this sandwich will not evoke absolutely any emotions. Because it's too easy.
Accordingly, the business in which this sandwich serves as a reward will be of great interest to the beggar, but to the rich it will cause boredom and disgust.
The goal of “earning a million” will not evoke any emotions in a beggar, because for him this is an unattainable task, for which he does not have the resources to achieve.
Therefore, if you are not interested in anything in life, then one of two things: either your life goals are too easily achievable, or, on the contrary, they are too high and you do not have enough resources.
For sustained interest in any activity, we need fairly frequent reinforcement. If we want to be interested in making money, then it is necessary that we earn it regularly, preferably with an increasing tendency, so that it does not become too easy for us.
Therefore, if you are not interested in anything, then you should start by setting realistically achievable goals for yourself. Every time we mentally check the “done” box next to something, it will kindle our interest in this activity.
Done things are like firewood in a fire of interest. If you don’t throw them in, the fire will go out sooner or later. I hope you get the idea.
Nothing is interesting in life, you don’t want anything, you’re too lazy to do what you don’t like but need to do. Different people come to this state at different ages. Psychologists say that apathy and depression are the scourge of our time and recommend attending their consultations. But is this really so? Today I would like to understand this issue in this article.
In my case, this state has lasted for about 2.5 years, before it was not particularly conscious, I tried to avoid it, look for distractions, new ways to entertain myself, be it new activities, communication with people, relationships, food, entertainment, but the transition energy nutrition forced me to remove all masks and pull the problem out in all its beauty and essence.
This condition became so unbearable that there was nothing left but to look for ways to solve this problem.
What is the actual reason? And the reason is that there is no happiness, harmony, love, or fullness inside. To hide this spiritual emptiness, I and other people are looking for something to occupy ourselves with. They try to do good deeds for someone in the hope of getting at least a drop of emotion from another person, this problem is successfully eaten away so as not to feel pain for a while. In general, we try in every possible way to run away from this pain, hide it, put it off for later, but it doesn’t go away.
In general, if you look closely at all a person’s actions, not individual ones, but all of them, you can see that they are aimed only at obtaining only one thing - love, positive emotions, happiness.
Look carefully why you went to meet a friend in a restaurant today, why you started doing fitness, why you started a family, why you eat, why you do something selflessly for other people. Everything, everything, all of this is just to catch that moment of happiness and love that you think you will get from these actions.
A person's life consists of chasing these tiny moments of happiness and love, but what happens when you don't get these emotions? You begin to get upset, suffer, and apathy appears. Your expectations do not coincide with the real world, and, in fact, they should not coincide.
When a person cannot achieve a state of happiness and love for a long time, he falls into deep depression. Psychologists and psychotherapists begin to treat him, and sometimes his relatives send him to a mental hospital, but this still does not solve the problem, because the solution lies in a completely different plane.
Consider the world, everything that is temporary in it. Your body will sooner or later grow old and you will no longer be able to enjoy its flexibility, you can get sick, your significant other can always leave you in different ways, children grow up and they have their own interests, all entertainment sooner or later gets boring. No matter how you try to get settled in this world, it won’t work!
All this is temporary, all dust. And when you come to the realization of the impermanence of all forms and you are no longer attracted to existing toys in the material world, your spiritual search begins.
It is precisely this state, when nothing is interesting here anymore, and something new has not yet been found, that is transitional. This is one of the stages of spiritual growth, but due to the ignorance and blindness of others, especially close people, a person in this state can easily be sent to a mental hospital.
In general, on the path of spiritual growth, a person threatens to be committed to a mental hospital more than 5 times. If you find yourself in one of the borderline states, you should not turn to psychologists and psychotherapists - they have no solution, they only have a desire to suck money out of you. You should look in a completely different direction.
Try watching satsangs of enlightened masters, doing qigong, yoga, meditation.
In general, this is a good state, you need to be grateful that you have it, because it leads you to find a solution, to your spiritual awakening.
The solution to all suffering lies in the direction of complete liberation from materialism and awareness of the state of enlightenment (samadhi), finding absolute harmony, balance and love within oneself.
I found more details about the problems inherent in the stages of spiritual growth here http://www.elenareiter.com/Duhovny_rost1.html Good luck and success to you!
Hello! I am 23 years old. I can describe my condition as follows: irritability, apathy, laziness, weakness, lethargy, lack of interest in people, a feeling of powerlessness and hopelessness. Nothing works out for me on all fronts: I’m looking for a guy, but the wrong ones come across; I'm looking for friends - they either leave me or are initially not interested in friendship. Besides, I have no idea what I want to work as. I graduated from university a year ago. I trained as a translator. I don’t want to work in my specialty, because I developed an aversion to languages during my studies. I got the job through an acquaintance. Where I was “stuck”, I am not needed, so I sit at work and do NOTHING AT ALL for days on end. For me there is simply no work. It’s both boring and uncomfortable because my colleagues are plowing, and I’m sitting reading a book. So it turns out: you don’t want to sit, and you don’t want to do anything. I have no idea where to go to work and with whom. I'm not interested in anything and I don't want to work. It costs me a lot of effort to even get to this job, even though it’s not far away. I don't have friends because I'm not a sociable person. I always wanted to have one girlfriend. The two of us can go for a walk and chat. And all the friends with whom I went together ran away into a cheerful company. Besides, I'm not a laughing person. I like to discuss specific topics, share opinions, enrich a person with something new and be enriched by him, rather than laugh and chat about nothing. In general, there is no one willing to walk with me, like a little girl with a little girl, and have “small talk.” There's no boyfriend either. There were mutual claims with all the exes, so all the breakups were mutual. I was on a dating site for several years. There are no adequate guys there. They either want a princess, or a housekeeper, or a mistress. In general, no matter who I met there, everyone had a wormhole in them, and it became clear why in real life all the girls ran away from them. I tried to find friends via the Internet. I wrote to people who wrote “Looking for friends.” And a pandemonium also began: sometimes they didn’t answer, sometimes they answered, but there was no interest, then there were people with oddities and it also became clear why they didn’t have anyone in real life and that’s why they searched the Internet. In the end, I gave up and am not looking for a boyfriend or friends. Tired of it. And I don’t know where to look, if not on the Internet. I have been “working” at work for two months now. And also zero. Smart, good fellow guys are either married, or if not married, then with a very repulsive appearance. At lunch, everyone sits and looks at their phones. Everything is limited to “hello” in the corridor. So in this job I don’t gain any new skills or contacts. Everything in my family is also gloomy: my grandfather is paralyzed, my grandmother died of cancer 4 years ago, my dad died of alcoholism 2 years ago, my uncle and I don’t get along. You can’t really talk to my mom. We have no common interests. She doesn't want to look for them. He says: “Don’t make me a friend of the same age.” If I offer my interests to her, she says she doesn't care. So we communicate only about everyday issues and work. And that’s not enough for me. I want to walk with her and watch movies. She doesn't need anything. So even though I live with her, it feels like I’m alone. I am interested in psychology and popular science films and books (about space, anthropology, evolution, pseudoscience). And even then my interests are sluggish. Whatever I'm interested in, I don't dive deep into anything. I don't even want to look after myself. I have never been interested in clothes, cosmetics, etc. But I still exercise and eat right. However, it doesn't give me pleasure. I do all this with a crooked face and through a huge “I DON’T WANT” and “I CAN’T”. I decided to learn how to paint. And that’s not to say that I will do this with great interest and enthusiasm. The only thing I want is to visit other countries. This is really once a year on vacation. And once a year is not enough. I don’t know how to travel anymore. I spend the weekend at home on the Internet. I don't even want to go out for a walk. The only two things that bring me joy are food (in which I began to limit myself very much when I ate “ears” on my thighs) and the summer house. Mom says that I’m in this state because I’m lazy and I’m mad about fat: I have an apartment, I have a dacha, I have a job. So what else do you need? I still have mood swings. Either I feel so bad that suicidal thoughts creep in, or I can walk around in euphoria, full of energy. And these surges occur for no apparent reason and last for several days. Euphoria for a couple of days, then depression. And so on in turn. I'm exhausted. How can I get out of this “vegetable” state? How to stop living in a state of “I don’t want to do anything and I don’t want to do anything”? I'm tired of being without friends, without a boyfriend, without a manicure, without new impressions and bright emotions, without makeup, in tatty clothes, earning two pennies at a dead-end job. I hate my life. I want everything to be different, but I don't need anything
Hello. I am 22 years old. I am a final year student at a sports institute. Nothing interests me in life. Nothing makes me happy. Complete apathy. I don't know what's happening to me. I used to play sports. Running and then football. 4 years ago I had to quit sports due to a knee injury. For about 3 years now I have been feeling lonely and somehow lost. I do not have friends. No one. As I write, I’m most scared that it’s probably all my fault. I do not know what to do. I feel like I'm lost in life and can't find a reason why this happened. I’m trying to find support from my parents, because I have no one else but them, but they push me away and don’t want to listen. After this I feel even more pain. Help me please. Sometimes it seems to me that I am dying... I want to live so much. Because now I am not living, but suffering...
Hello, Anastasia! Now it is important for you not to look for the reasons why this happened (of course, there is your contribution - after all, you control your life), but to understand what you are missing and answer the question for yourself (what can YOU do for this?)! i.e. e. problem: NO FRIENDS - answer - what can YOU do to make them appear? (start communicating, leave the house, there are people around you at the institute, go to work); problem: NO INTERESTS (what can YOU do to make them appear?) - what else are you interested in, what to do (yes, you have lost sports in your life, but you have NOT lost your life)!
and accept yourself - your parents can accept or reject you - this is THEIR choice and their right, BUT this does NOT make YOU stop being - accept yourself! help yourself, build your life yourself! take it into your own hands! develop, get to know yourself, the main thing is ACT!
Good answer 5 Bad answer 3Hello, Anastasia. You are now having an internal crisis. You are confused about priorities, you don’t know which steps should come first. This happened due to a distorted, dominant upbringing by parents who did not give you the concept of primary and secondary values. Hence the apathy and failures , and loneliness. Your main task is to start with yourself and see in yourself a diamond with a unique cut. To feel strong, significant, confident, capable, adored by yourself. That is, your attitude towards yourself will become valuable. There is a rule - How I treat myself , this is how others will treat me. That is, YOU will become interesting to others. Self-esteem will strengthen. There will be a need to fulfill desires and realize goals. This only happens in a positive way. This is how everything should happen slowly but surely. Often, for quality steps required
I'm not interested in anything in life, what should I do? It happens that a young man is not interested in anything at all. He has completely lost interest in doing anything, but can spend hours working on the computer. Why is this happening? Maybe it has developed, but independence is not developed? Most likely this is the case.
What are the features and conditions for the development of independence? What to do if your friend, child or husband says: “I’m not interested in anything in life.”? What to do if a person is really not interested in anything? You will find answers to these questions here.
A reader of our site asked .
Psychologist, Lebedeva Marina Nikolaevna, answers.
A person has lost interest in life, what to do?
Text of the letter ( given briefly )
My now adult son is not interested in anything in life. He has all the signs of psychological immaturity of the individual, he has no purpose in life and is not interested in anything. Now he lives alone.
I, of course, realize that there was overprotection on my part: I made all the decisions, thinking that it was difficult for him due to the consequences of trauma and illnesses suffered in childhood. The nervous system and psyche are weak.
There are positive aspects: when he is interested in something, he can show patience, perseverance, conscientiousness and responsibility.
Earlier
At school, my son had friends and had good contacts with teachers; I studied well too. I used to have a lot of hobbies. He does not have low self-esteem; rather, he has a tendency to blame others and circumstances for failures. There were attempts to make friends, but he was not sociable by nature and did not develop relationships further.
Now
A tendency towards egocentrism and computer addiction developed. After training, he worked a little in his specialty, but when he encountered difficulties, his nervous system could not stand it and he quit. Now he doesn’t even make any attempts to find a job and doesn’t think about what means to live on or what’s happening around him. Is often isolated and inactive.
Nothing else interests you and it’s hard to get them interested. Please tell me what actions on my part to take to develop independence? How to help a child (even though he is already an adult) overcome his fear of difficulties?
How to influence the development of independence and interest in life. Psychologist's answer.
What does a person’s independence depend on?
Unfortunately, often, maternal care develops into overprotection. I want to do everything for my beloved baby in order to save him from difficulties. Even when the baby is no longer a baby at all.
What happens to a person in the absence of independence skills in education.
Of course, overprotection on the part of the parent does not contribute to the child’s independence. If for many years you made all the decisions for a person, then he did not learn to do it himself. What should a builder do if, having reached the roof, he realized that the foundation of the building is very weak, although a lot of time and money was spent on construction?
Undoubtedly, the situation needs to be corrected. But developing independence is a rather labor-intensive process. If in childhood, when the foundation of the personality was being laid, the child was not taught to choose and make decisions, to work for the benefit of others, then as an adult, at the thought of having to do this himself, a feeling of fear and even panic arises.
An adult can be compared to a fully built house. When noticing shortcomings in the building, especially in the foundation, you need to understand that incorrect or hasty actions in reconstruction can lead to the fact that the entire house can collapse. After all, to get to the foundation you need to break something, and then fix it. Likewise in a person, in order to change anything, it is necessary to break some attitudes and stereotypes that were laid down very deeply and for a long time. It is hardly possible to do without the help of a specialist here.
Specific steps. What to do when you are not interested in anything?
The behavior of a person who decides everything for another is identical to the behavior of the “Savior” from. Be sure to read the article of the same name (in blue) because this article describes how the mindset of the so-called “savior” shapes the mindset of the opportunistic victim.”
In addition to the fact that a person gets used to the fact that he doesn’t have to decide anything and doesn’t have to stress over anything, he loses the habit of dealing with difficulties. Accordingly, there is no internal strength to take responsibility, plan, deal with failures and move forward. And what kind of activist persistently formed such a personality? It's good that you realized that you created this problem yourself.
Therefore, give him small, simple tasks, assignments and praise him when he does it. In general, praise him for his active actions, ask him about how his day went and what interesting things he saw on the Internet (after all, he practically doesn’t see anything else).
Your role now is not to criticize ANY of his decisions. Do not express concern about the state of his affairs... But, on the contrary, express confidence that he can cope with all the problems himself, he himself will be able to find a way out of any situation, he himself is able to find a job and he himself will find the resources for this, because he is a MAN, KNOWS WHERE TO LOOK INFORMATION, HAS EDUCATION, and a lot more, for which you should praise and encourage him. How to do this correctly and how to generally treat men correctly (your son is a man) look on the Internet,training by Oleg Gadetsky “Men and Women”. To understand what your behavior should be towards your son, you will need to watch this training more than once. Write down your cliches in behavior and practice new ones...
Of course, you can give advice. But, in such a form as... “I read here...”, “I recently discovered...”, “what do you think about such and such”... In general, so that everything looks as if you are simply sharing information that you seemed interesting and useful.
Since all these steps on your part need to be worked out, rehearsed and consolidated, I think that you cannot do without the help of a psychologist. After all, in order to change the situation and methods of interaction, you need to change your attitudes and habits. This is not one day's work.
The above phrases and those that the psychologist advises you need to be memorized directly. And start the conversation after “Hello” and “How are you?” only from them. Of course, for this it is advisable to personally attend psychological training. Because it is very difficult to get rid of attitudes and associated forms of behavior that have been developed over the years.
Also, every person has an inherent need to belong. If he is not surrounded by people with common interests, then a deformation of personality occurs associated with distance from society and there is a risk of becoming dependent on anything, from computer games to groups in which they encourage murder and violence. Therefore, it is necessary to find in your city some kind of creative, sports or training group (school of creativity, dance, music, language learning school, hand-made school, communication training, etc.), where he could find interesting communication, interesting people and, perhaps, , friends and become a friend yourself.
Sincerely, Lebedeva Marina
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