Causes and origins of people's aggressive behavior. Causes of aggressive behavior

Aggression is an attack motivated by destructive behavior that contradicts all norms of human coexistence and harms the targets of the attack, causing moral and physical harm to people, causing psychological discomfort. From the perspective of psychiatry, aggression in humans is considered a method of psychological defense against a traumatic and unfavorable situation. It can also be a way of psychological release, as well as self-affirmation.

Aggression causes damage not only to an individual, an animal, but also to an inanimate object. Aggressive behavior in humans is considered in the following sections: physical - verbal, direct - indirect, active - passive, benign - malignant.

Causes of aggression

Aggressive behavior in humans can be caused by a variety of reasons.

The main causes of aggression in humans:

- abuse of alcohol, as well as drugs that weaken the nervous system, which provokes the development of an aggressive, inadequate reaction to minor situations;

- problems of a personal nature, unsettled personal life (lack of a life partner, a feeling of loneliness, intimate problems that cause, and later turn into an aggressive state and manifest themselves at every mention of the problem);

- mental trauma received in childhood (neurosis received in childhood due to poor parental relations);

- strict upbringing provokes future manifestations of aggressiveness towards children;

- passion for watching quest games and thrillers;

- overwork, refusal to rest.

Aggressive behavior is observed in a number of mental and nervous disorders. This condition is observed in patients with epilepsy, schizophrenia, due to injuries and organic lesions of the brain, meningitis, encephalitis, psychosomatic disorders, neurasthenia, epileptoid psychopathy.

The causes of aggression are subjective factors (customs, revenge, historical memory, extremism, fanaticism of some religious movements, the image of a strong person introduced through the media, and even the psychological individual traits of politicians).

There is a misconception that aggressive behavior is more characteristic of people with mental illness. There is evidence that only 12% of people who committed aggressive acts and were referred for a forensic psychiatric examination were diagnosed with mental illness. In half of the cases, aggressive behavior was a manifestation, and in the rest, inappropriate aggressive reactions were noted. In fact, in all cases there is an exaggerated reaction to circumstances.

Observation of teenagers has shown that television perpetuates an aggressive state through crime programs, which further enhances the effect. Sociologists, such as Carolyn Wood Sheriff, challenge the popular belief that sports act as ersatz war without bloodshed. Long-term observations of teenagers at a summer camp showed that sports competitions not only do not reduce mutual aggressiveness, but only increase it. An interesting fact was discovered about the removal of aggressiveness in adolescents. Working together in the camp not only united the teenagers, but also helped relieve mutual aggressive tension.

Types of aggression

A. Bass, as well as A. Darkey, identified the following types of aggression in humans:

- physical, when direct force is used to inflict physical and moral damage on the enemy;

- irritation manifests itself in readiness for negative feelings; indirect aggression is characterized in a roundabout way and is directed at another person;

- negativism is an oppositional manner of behavior, marked by passive resistance to active struggle, directed against established laws and customs;

- verbal aggression is expressed in negative feelings through such forms as screeching, screaming, through verbal responses (threats, curses);

Growing up is a difficult stage in the life of every teenager. The child wants independence, but is often afraid of it and is not ready for it. Because of this, the teenager has contradictions that he is not able to sort out on his own. At such moments, the main thing is not to distance yourself from the children, to show tolerance, not to criticize, to talk only as equals, to try to calm them down, to understand them, to understand the problem.

Aggression in adolescents manifests itself in the following types:

- hyperactive - a motor-disinhibited teenager who is brought up in a family in an atmosphere of permissiveness of the “idol” type. To correct behavior, it is necessary to build a system of restrictions using game situations with mandatory rules;

- an exhausted and touchy teenager who is characterized by increased sensitivity, irritability, touchiness, and vulnerability. Behavior correction includes relieving mental stress (hitting something, noisy play);

- an oppositional-defiant teenager who shows rudeness towards people he knows and parents who are not role models. The teenager transfers his mood and problems onto these people. Behavior modification involves problem solving in collaboration;

- an aggressive-fearful teenager who is hostile and suspicious. Correction includes working with fears, modeling a dangerous situation with the child, overcoming it;

- an aggressively insensitive child who is not characterized by emotional responsiveness, sympathy, and empathy. Correction includes stimulating humane feelings and developing children's responsibility for their actions.

Aggression in adolescents has the following causes: learning difficulties, shortcomings in upbringing, characteristics of the maturation of the nervous system, lack of cohesion in the family, lack of closeness between the child and parents, the negative nature of relationships between sisters and brothers, family leadership style. Children from families where there is discord, alienation, and coldness are most prone to aggression. Communication with peers and imitation of older schoolchildren also contributes to the development of this condition.

Some psychologists believe that teenage aggressiveness can be suppressed as childish, but there are nuances here. In childhood, the social circle is limited only by parents, who independently correct aggressive behavior, and in adolescence, the social circle becomes wider. This circle expands to include other teenagers with whom the child communicates as equals, which is not the case at home. Hence the problems in families. A group of peers considers him an independent, separate and unique person, where his opinion is taken into account, but at home the teenager is classified as an unreasonable child and his opinion is not taken into account.

How to respond to aggression? To extinguish aggression, parents need to try to understand their child, accept his position if possible, listen, and help without criticism.

It is important to eliminate aggression from the family, where it is the norm between adults. Even as a child grows up, parents act as role models. For parents of brawlers, the child will grow up to be the same in the future, even if the adults do not clearly express aggression in front of the teenager. The feeling of aggressiveness occurs on a sensory level. It is possible that a teenager grows up quiet and downtrodden, but the consequences of family aggression will be as follows: a cruel, aggressive tyrant will grow up. To prevent such an outcome, it is necessary to consult a psychologist to correct aggressive behavior.

Prevention of aggression in adolescents includes: the formation of a certain range of interests, involvement in positive activities (music, reading, sports), involvement in socially recognized activities (sports, work, art, organization), avoiding manifestations of force towards the teenager, discussing problems together, listening to feelings of children, lack of criticism, reproaches.

Parents must always remain tolerant, loving, gentle, communicate on equal terms with teenagers and remember that if you move away from your child now, it will be very difficult to get closer later.

Aggression in men

Male aggression is strikingly different from female aggression in its attitudes. Men resort mainly to an open form of aggression. They often experience much less anxiety, as well as guilt, during periods of aggression. For them, aggression is a means of achieving their goals or a unique model of behavior.

Most scientists who have studied human social behavior have suggested that aggression in men is determined by genetic reasons. This behavior made it possible to pass on one’s genes from generation to generation, defeat rivals and find a partner for procreation. Scientists Kenrick, Sadalla, Vershour, as a result of research, found that women consider leadership and dominance of men to be attractive qualities for themselves.

Increased aggression in men occurs due to social as well as cultural factors, or more precisely, in the absence of a culture of behavior and the need to demonstrate confidence, strength and independence.

Women's aggression

Women often use psychological implicit aggression; they are worried about what kind of resistance the victim may give them. Women resort to aggression during outbursts of anger to relieve mental and nervous tension. Women, being social creatures, have emotional sensitivity, friendliness and empathy, and their aggressive behavior is not as pronounced as men's.

Aggression in older women baffles loving relatives. Often this type of disorder is classified as a symptom if there are no obvious reasons for such behavior. Attacks of aggression in women are characterized by a change in character and an increase in negative traits.

Aggression in women is often provoked by the following factors:

- congenital hormonal deficiency caused by early developmental pathology, which leads to mental disorders;

- emotional negative experiences of childhood (sexual violence, abuse), victimization of intrafamily aggression, as well as the pronounced role of the victim (husband);

- hostile relationship with mother, childhood mental trauma.

Aggression in the elderly

The most common disorder in older people is aggression. The reason is a narrowing of the circle of perception, as well as a false interpretation of the events of an elderly person who is gradually losing touch with society. This is caused by a decrease in memory for current events. For example, stolen items or missing money. Such situations cause problems in family relationships. It is very difficult to convey to an elderly person with memory impairment that the missing item will be found because it was placed in another place.

Aggression in the elderly manifests itself in emotional disturbances - grumpiness, irritability, protest reactions to everything new, a tendency to conflict, groundless insults and accusations.

The state of aggression is often caused by atrophic processes and vascular diseases of the brain (). These changes often go unnoticed by relatives and others, being attributed to “bad character.” A competent assessment of the condition and the correct selection of therapy allows one to achieve good results in establishing peace in the family.

Husband's aggression

Family disagreements and strong husband aggression are the most discussed topics in consultations with psychologists. Conflicts and disagreements that provoke mutual aggression among spouses are as follows:

- uncoordinated, unfair division of labor in the family;

- different understanding of rights and responsibilities;

- insufficient contribution of one of the family members to household work;

— chronic dissatisfaction of needs;

- shortcomings, defects in upbringing, discrepancies in mental worlds.

All family conflicts arise for the following reasons:

- dissatisfaction with the intimate needs of one of the spouses;

- dissatisfaction with the need for the significance and value of one’s “I” (violation of self-esteem, dismissive and disrespectful attitude, insults, resentments, incessant criticism);

— dissatisfaction with positive emotions (lack of tenderness, affection, care, understanding, attention, psychological alienation of spouses);

- addiction to gambling, alcoholic beverages of one of the spouses, as well as hobbies that lead to unreasonable waste of money;

— financial disagreements between spouses (issues of family support, mutual budget, each person’s contribution to material support);

— dissatisfaction with the need for mutual support, mutual assistance, the need for cooperation and cooperation associated with the division of labor, housekeeping, and child care;

— dissatisfaction with needs and interests in leisure and recreation.

As you can see, there are many reasons for conflict, and each family can identify its own pain points from this list.

Sociological studies have found that men are most sensitive to material and everyday problems and difficulties of adaptation at the beginning of family life. If a husband has male problems, then often the whole family suffers from this, but the wife suffers the most. Feeling his powerlessness, a man looks for the culprit and in this case it turns out to be a woman. The accusations are based on the fact that the wife is no longer arousing as before, she has gained weight, and has stopped taking care of herself.

The husband's aggression is expressed in petty nagging, dictatorship, provocations, and family quarrels. Often this is a consequence of dissatisfaction, as well as lack of self-confidence.

The reason for the husband’s aggression lies in his complexes and in no case are the wife’s shortcomings and behavior to blame for this. Having analyzed the form of manifestation of the husband’s aggression, one can find that it can be verbal, in which there is a demonstration of negative emotions (insults, rudeness). This behavior is typical of domestic tyrants.

A husband's aggression can be indirect and expressed in malicious remarks, offensive jokes, jokes, and pettiness. Lies, threats and refusal to help are also expressions of indirect aggression. Deceitful and evading husbands get their way with the help of hysterics and threats. This behavior is typical of despots, psychopaths, brawlers, and torturers. Men with personality disorders are very difficult, both for communication and for family life. Some husbands show cruelty (physical and moral).

Most women try to improve relations with their aggressor husband, but all attempts to improve the relationship and the desire to learn to understand the aggressor, as well as to become happier with him, come to a dead end.

The main mistakes made by a woman with an aggressor husband:

- often shares her fears and hopes, counting on understanding, giving her husband the opportunity to once again be convinced that she is weak and defenseless;

- constantly share your plans and interests with the aggressor, giving your husband another opportunity to criticize and condemn her;

- often the victim wife tries to find common topics for conversation, but in response she receives silence and coldness;

— the woman mistakenly believes that the aggressor will rejoice at her successes in life.

These paradoxes indicate that all a woman’s aspirations for internal growth and improvement of relationships with her aggressor husband only worsen the situation. An interesting fact is that the aggressor, when scolding a woman, describes exactly himself in the accusations that he attributes to her.

Fighting aggression

What to do when you feel aggression? You should not put up with the tyranny of your spouse, because you cause great damage to yourself and your self-esteem. You do not have to endure attacks, bad temper, supposedly from a stranger. You are an independent person with the same rights as your husband. You have the right to emotional peace, rest, and respect for yourself.

How to treat aggression?

It is important for the aggressor himself to understand the reason that prompted him to such behavior. If you persuade your husband to consult a psychologist, you will receive recommendations from a specialist on eliminating aggression from your life. However, if the husband’s personality anomaly is pronounced and further cohabitation is unbearable, then the best option would be divorce. Husbands of the tyrant category do not understand well, so you should not indulge them. The more you give in to them, the more brazenly they behave.

Why is it necessary to fight aggression? Because nothing passes without a trace, and every painful injection causes certain damage to the female psyche, even if the woman finds excuses for her tyrant, forgives and forgets the insult. After some time, the husband will again find a reason to offend his wife. And a woman will try to maintain peace at any cost.

Constant insults, as well as humiliation, negatively affect women’s self-esteem, and, in the end, a woman begins to admit that she doesn’t know how to do much. Thus, he develops an inferiority complex.

An adequate normal man should help a woman, support her in everything, and not constantly humiliate her and poke her nose at her shortcomings. Constant nagging and reproaches will affect the general tone and mood and disrupt a woman’s peace of mind, which will have to be restored with the help of specialists.

Good afternoon A child (son) 1 year 10 months shows aggression, endless tantrums with or without cause. If we are in a company with children, then he bites, pushes, hits, hugs everyone with such force that he almost strangles them, and takes away all the toys. He reacts to the word “can’t” with hysterics, lies on the floor and yells, freaks out. I try to calm him down and explain that this is not possible, and he starts hitting and biting me. Yes, sometimes he just lies down next to me and starts kicking me. He doesn't offend anyone else in the family except me. I don’t know how to behave with him anymore...

• Good afternoon, Anastasia. The development of children from 1 to 2 years of life is complicated by a number of crises associated with growing up. At this stage of development, the child begins to feel himself as an individual separate from the mother and to get to know himself, to look for his own “I”. Each new children's achievement is a kind of leap. Often, in some children, such mini-crises provoke so-called behavioral failures. For example, some children become capricious or have trouble sleeping.
  Most psychologists are convinced that the only period in which hysterics are acceptable is when a toddler is one year old. After all, he does not have enough vocabulary to explain his desires and behavior, and hysterics are his usual way of behaving. He simply doesn’t know any other way. Just a couple of months ago, all he had to do was whine, and his parents would immediately run to him, calm him down, console him, and fulfill his wishes. And today, although he has matured a little, he still does not know any other way to attract attention. You need to understand that the toddler himself will not be able to cope with hysteria, he simply will not be able to calm down on his own, so you should pick up the child and hold him close. But shouting, slapping the butt, and swearing is wrong and harmful to the child’s further development.

Good afternoon.
I have self-aggression. I know for sure because I have been suffering from this for a long time. I have a five-year-old son and I try to restrain myself...I try very hard.... however, sometimes I can’t resist and my son hears... and comes from the other room and asks “Mom, why are you beating yourself?”... we need to do something about it...
Is there any over-the-counter medication I can take to take the course?
I don’t want to go to specialists - I’m afraid that they’ll lock me up in a mental hospital and take my son away. The long period of restraint is 7-10 days, then I still have a breakdown... and PMS has nothing to do with it.
Thank you

• Hello Tatiana. We recommend that you contact a private specialist regarding your problem. The paid clinic ensures anonymity, the psychiatrist will help you understand yourself and your personality problems.
  Understanding why you harm yourself is the first step towards recovery. If you identify the reason why you physically harm yourself, you can find new ways to cope with your feelings, which in turn will reduce the desire to harm yourself.

  • thanks for the answer!
    Do I need a psychiatrist or psychologist or neurologist?

    • Tatyana, in your case, a psychotherapist is the best option.

Good afternoon. I probably won’t be original in my problem, but I would like to hear an assessment and advice regarding my specific situation.
Married for over 20 years. The relationship with my husband is good, except for the outbursts of anger that occur regularly, once every few months. The same scenario always happens. It begins with his irritability, which manifests itself from several days to a week. He’s the one who’s accumulating anger, that’s what I think. Moreover, he gets irritated at any word, but it is clear that he is trying to restrain himself. Then there comes a moment when this any word becomes the starting point for his scandal. This is the last case in particular. We live outside the city. I came from the city and brought my child from school. Saturday. He is sitting preparing lunch. He loves to cook. He does it with pleasure. Released the dogs from the enclosures. We have 5 Central Asian Shepherds. A neighbor arrived. They ran to the fence and barked at the neighbor. I'm nervous. I say that you can’t let everyone out into the yard at once. God forbid anything happens. The husband says he will drive them out soon. And if I need it, I can do it myself. I say that I can’t do it myself, because I’m sick (chondrosis has broken, it hurts to turn), and it started. Potatoes flew into the wall, and accusations that I sent the food, ruined everything, a bastard and the last person in the whole wide world. I turned around, told my son to start the car, and went to round up the dogs myself. I took two of them away, put the third one on a leash, my husband came out and started shouting that I was taking this dog to the wrong place. I got behind the wheel and asked for the gate remote control. He said there was no remote control. Although he has it in his pocket. I turned around and drove out through the task gate.
I never raised my voice. The only thing she said was that I didn’t see my fault. In the evening I wrote to him that he was causing me pain and resentment. But there is no anger towards him. He didn't answer.
Then our next scenario begins. Now we won't talk to each other for a long time. He seriously believes that he is absolutely right. Ends up having to talk at work. (we work together in our organization).
Then again dear, beloved, sun until next time. Please tell me if there is a model of behavior to avoid these aggressive outbursts. Sometimes I fear for the lives of my children and myself. Because when he is furious, he flies with such force that it becomes scary.

• Hello Olga. Your problem is clear. We recommend changing your attitude towards your husband’s periodic aggressive outbursts - stop being offended, experiencing psychological discomfort and proving something. No matter how hard you try, they will still repeat themselves. This does not depend on your behavior or the behavior of your children.
  “In the evening I wrote to him that he was causing me pain and resentment. But there is no anger towards him. He didn't answer." “There’s no point in explaining anything to my husband either.” His aggression is a psychological release. Try to anticipate your husband’s condition and not support the conflict in any form.

My husband has attacks of aggression, mainly if I am not happy with the fact that he drinks at work or on vacation with the same group of employees. In my opinion, they drink often, only 10-15 people have birthdays, not to mention holidays. My husband is 53 years old, has hypertension, and constantly takes pills to lower his blood pressure. I don’t think alcohol contributes to his health and longevity, and of course I say that it’s unpleasant for me. 5 years ago he quit smoking, before that he smoked all the time. Now he constantly reproaches me for this during quarrels. This seems strange to me, I say that if he only did this for me, and now this is his “trump card” argument in our dialogues, then why such sacrifices, I don’t need them. He says that I control him, that almost everyone laughs at him... And what is masculine strength - I want to smoke and drink - it’s my business - you sit quietly, or what? I’m not talking about the fact that there are people who never drink of their own free will, who don’t drink in groups, but are present at corporate events, and in general are the soul of the company (I had such an employee). I don’t see any heroism here; a person does this of his own free will. Today we were at another corporate party, company day, I haven’t been having conversations lately on the topic, I drank or didn’t drink, it’s good for you after that, it’s bad…. I arrived, I said that I would call at least once a day, just like that, say hello, how are you... I didn’t even say anything else, and in general I didn’t intend to... God, what started here: throwing things, motherfucker, that I’m already for him... that he doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, and I’m making it work for him here, I almost pulled down the interior doors. I was scared that he was going to beat me up, but he flew out, slamming the front door to God knows where... I have no one to turn to, my parents are no longer alive, my brothers and sisters are gone, my cousins ​​are far away, they have families, children, grandchildren, but what about a friend? tell me. I don’t understand what I’m guilty of, what’s wrong with hearing a kind word from the person you live with just one in a day, isn’t that normal? I'm trying to adequately assess the situation and figure it out. If a person considers himself henpecked just because he takes into account his wife’s opinion, or calls her once a day, in my opinion this is not normal. Now I kind of have to be on alert all the time, choose my words, what if I do something to shake his self-esteem again... This is not life - in constant tension, and the expectation that he will be “offended” again. At the same time, oddly enough, my husband is the breadwinner in the family, the head of the enterprise, I also earn money, but less, which seems normal. What's wrong and what should I do?

• Hello, Tasha.
  “I arrived, I said that I would call at least once a day, just like that, say hello, how are you... I didn’t even say anything else”
  With these words you unconsciously tried to make him feel guilty and they served as a trigger for his aggression. The husband may have already arrived in a bad mood or is subconsciously always ready for the next claims, and these words were enough to throw out aggression on you.
  “I don’t understand what I’m guilty of, what’s wrong with hearing a kind word from the person you live with just one in a day, isn’t that normal?” - Of course you're right. But forcing a man to express his attention to you in this way is also wrong. You yourself can show attention, care towards your husband, speak kind words and tell him, if possible, when he is in a good mood, that you miss him and can barely restrain yourself from calling him when he is at work. During the conversation, monitor your spouse’s reaction so as not to aggravate the situation and switch the conversation to another topic in time.
  “Now I kind of have to be on alert all the time, choose my words, what if I do something to shake his self-esteem again... This is not life - in constant tension, and the expectation that he will be “offended” again.” Unfortunately, this happens very often. After all, men are very proud, vulnerable and touchy. And the key to a happy life in marriage is the ability to shut up in time.

Hello! In our family, unfortunately, the following situation has developed... I have an older brother (I am 25, my brother is 35 years old). My first memories of his manifestation of aggression are that he fought with his middle brother (he is now 33), but at that time I was still very young and it seemed to me that it brought him pleasure - to hurt his own brother. When I was about six years old, I remember how my brother hit my mother for the first time, he was chasing her to hit her, and was talking some kind of nonsense. At that time he played and sang at weddings, and naturally tried alcohol for the first time. When I was at school, I heard quarrels between my parents and my drunken brother, I was sent to another room and locked in just in case, you never know... And this “you never know” happened from time to time, my brother got into a fight with his sick father and mother... By the way - parents never! they didn’t fight, they quarreled occasionally, like all normal people, but dad or mom never allowed themselves too much.
Over the years, everything became even worse... My brother allowed me to give up on my mother, father, brother, wife... My father became weaker over the years, his illness affected him very much, but this did not stop his brother. Thanks to one of these blows, the middle brother developed a hemotoma in the abdominal cavity, which grew into a tumor, and he almost died. I know of an incident where he almost drowned his wife in the bathtub. Their child is sick with a brain tumor.
I can, of course, tell many more cases, but... He often drinks with friends, for them he is the life of the party, always cheerful, can make anyone laugh. At the same time, one cannot call him an alcoholic, since he conscientiously runs his own business and works hard. In a drunken state, it can start halfway, just look at it the wrong way. He only shows aggression towards his own people!!! When you try to talk to him about what happened, he doesn’t want to talk about it at all, because he doesn’t feel guilty at all. And often he doesn’t remember what he did at all, or simply pretends... He never asks for forgiveness for what he did. When you try to talk about the fact that he seriously offended his mother or did something else, he immediately breaks into a scream and screams to the last. He believes that he does everything, almost feeds and clothes everyone. Everything around is d... mo, and he is the “navel of the earth.” And all this comes out in a very loud monologue; if you try to object to him, you will hear the scream even louder.
I’ve been living in the capital for 7 years now and I don’t depend on anyone... My father recently died, my brother’s wife is pregnant with their second child, my mother lives in our parents’ house with my middle brother... But! I can’t live in peace, because I know that my older brother is tyrannizing everyone there! And he absolutely does not admit that he has problems with alcohol, and even more so with nerves or the psyche... And he does not admit it. I am very afraid for the health and emotional state of my loved ones, as he does not allow them to live in peace. But I can’t imagine how to deal with this problem, since my brother refuses the help of specialists... Please advise me, because I’m in despair!

• Hello, Anastasia. According to the description, your older brother is very close to a representative of the excitable type of character accentuation. Which is characterized by instinctiveness and what the mind suggests is not taken into account by such a person, and the desire to satisfy momentary desires, needs, instinctive impulses becomes decisive.
  Knowing this, we can recommend to you and all your loved ones not to criticize him, not to touch his personality in conversations, not to discuss his actions, not to remind him of past mistakes. Since all efforts will be useless, and it will be quite easy to run into his high impulsiveness and irritability. If necessary, such people simply need to be tolerated, but generally in society communication with such people is avoided if they show their temper and do not restrain themselves.

Problem with mother. He constantly rushes at me, swears for no reason, threatens me with physical harm, and has even gone as far as assault. She starts yelling wildly out of nowhere, doesn’t want to listen to anyone, everyone is to blame for her, etc. Always judging those around me, literally looking for something to cling to and pouring it all on me. He doesn’t make any contact when talking, he sees only one thing in everything: “you’re trying to contradict me, #@*#@???” and starts up even more. There are moments of calm when he even tries to improve relations, but it all ends in reproaches and using everything he learns against me. These reproaches and scandals hit where it hurts. If suddenly a scandal begins because of some lost thing, then it doesn’t matter whether I’m to blame for it or not, I never apologize for empty attacks. What to do?? How to find an approach?? How to calm a hysterical person?

• Hello, Alina. It is recommended to eliminate attacks of anger by switching attention to something pleasant or distracting for the aggressor and, of course, not to provoke him, since the breakdown of negative emotions on the immediate environment is akin to a drug and they give the aggressor great pleasure.

Hello. Here's the problem I have. I’m 23. My father left early, although he fully participated in my brother’s and my upbringing, our childhood was difficult, it wasn’t easy for my mother to pull us along, and subsequently there was no love for the rest of the world, something like a child’s complex. I am extremely hot-tempered, an absolutely happy mood easily changes to an extremely hostile state, but I have never shown aggression towards strangers, only in case of protecting myself or my family. I work a lot, and this is associated with constant physical and moral stress, which is why I always lashed out at those around me (family, girlfriend, close friends). But recently everything has changed a lot. Now there is no aggression towards close people, I don’t lose my temper, I try to be softer, don’t get excited somewhere, I quickly calm down. BUT! As soon as I hear something addressed to me from a stranger, not necessarily an insult, any provocation, I suddenly have a feeling of HUGE hatred, it’s like adrenaline or a state before fainting, I can’t calm down until... but here it ends in different ways, but in most cases until my “enemy” is on the floor. And I understand later that I didn’t seem to hear anything particularly offensive addressed to me, but at that moment it felt like he was threatening me with death, and I couldn’t help but defend myself. Later I will realize and understand everything, but the feeling that I did everything right will not leave me, I cannot convince myself of this and no one can. By the way, now something else has appeared, in terms of intimacy, now the preference is more towards, well, let’s say not exactly, but a little towards rough intimacy, well, of course, not in relation to me, I have become a little rougher. No, my girlfriend likes it, of course, but I just noticed this in myself. And I’m writing all this only because for the first time I felt scared, not of consequences, not of responsibility, no, I became scared of myself, that I couldn’t control myself at the moment of aggression, I couldn’t calm down. Thank you for your help.

• Hello, Alexander. Most likely, you are characterized by an excitable type of character accentuation (an extreme version of the norm), which is expressed in weak control and insufficient controllability of your own drives and impulses. Therefore, it is very difficult for you to restrain yourself in a state of emotional excitement and not get irritated. There is no need to be afraid of your condition. Now you know that such a type exists, and you are one of it.
  Moral principles do not matter for this type, and in outbursts of anger there is an increase in aggressiveness, which is accompanied by an intensification of corresponding actions. The reactions of excitable individuals are impulsive. What is decisive for the behavior and lifestyle of such a person is not prudence, not the logical weighing of one’s actions, but desires, uncontrollable impulses.
  Therefore, we recommend avoiding extreme situations in which conflict is possible or situations where your behavior, business, or personal qualities are criticized.
  Your types prefer athletic sports, where they can release pent-up energy or aggression.
  “But recently things have changed a lot. Now there is no aggression towards close people, I don’t lose my temper, I try to be softer, not to get into trouble” - Gradually, with age, you will become softer. Of course, this will depend directly on your immediate environment, your social circle. A personality of your type often carefully chooses his social circle, surrounding himself with weaker ones in order to lead them.
  Try to get plenty of rest, don't overwork yourself, and avoid starting difficult tasks when you're in a bad mood or tired, as behavior problems may occur in such situations. Do not place high hopes and expectations on society. The world is not ideal and it cannot be changed. People tend not to “filter” their words, which mean a lot in life.
  Meditation, auto-training, yoga can help you find peace of mind and be more stress-resistant.

Hello. I have an atypical situation, I am dating a girl, she is 19 years old. We’ve been dating for about 2 years, she has a very difficult relationship with her mother and grandmother, she doesn’t have a father, she always had quarrels with her mother, she just had crazy hysterics, it even got to the point of assault, about a year ago she moved in with me. At the beginning of the relationship, when there were disagreements or even minor quarrels, she became uncontrollable, a stream of aggression, swearing, insults and humiliation addressed to me, although I myself never even called her a fool, let alone swearing. Always in a conflict I tried to calm down and find out the reason for this behavior, she always says that she cannot control herself, that after she does not express everything to me, only then she calms down, and it does not necessarily have to be our quarrel. She quarrels with her mother and takes her anger out on me, responds rudely and swears. After my threats to break off the relationship, she calmed down more or less, but still during quarrels a stream of obscenities, insults, etc. emanates from her. The last time in the shopping center, where she and I and my friend were, she started screaming across the entire floor at me because I didn’t wait for her and followed me and screamed all the way to the exit. Everyone turned to look at us, and she didn’t react in any way to my friend’s and my requests not to shout and to calm down. Another type of behavior is to run away from me through the streets, even in unfamiliar cities, where she can get lost. Even during quarrels, he sometimes threatens to kill himself, especially when I talk about breaking up. I was very tired of this and began to show defensive aggression towards her myself, began to respond to her scream with a scream, damaged furniture from aggression, and after I showed aggression, she quickly calmed down and was the first to make peace and ask for forgiveness.. Tell me if changes for the better are possible or should you think about breaking up?

• Hello, Ruslan. You need to stop the girl’s manipulation, because as soon as she realized that you were capable of counter-aggression, she got scared and changed her behavior pattern.
  Tell her directly that you understand the complexity of the situation regarding her loved ones and communication with them, but you will not allow you to be treated this way. Either she changes internally, learns self-control, signs up for yoga, goes to see a psychologist, independently studies her problem, or you will be forced to end such a relationship.
  “Even during quarrels, he sometimes threatens to kill himself, especially when I talk about breaking up.” “This is a skillful game of a neurotic manipulative, allowing him to achieve his goals. And you need to keep the priority of your interests in mind.
  Ask her a question calmly: what will you gain from it if you kill yourself? Who will benefit from this? Let her understand that you are not familiar with remorse and that your relationship with her has strengthened you internally, so you will not grieve for a long time, but will quickly find a replacement for her. Therefore, it may make sense for her to change, stop blackmailing you and start respecting you as a person.

  • Thank you very much for your answer, now the problem and the seriousness of the situation have become clearer to me, because I repeatedly told her about restraining myself, about a psychologist, about internal changes, she seemed to be trying to control herself at first, but after a while everything started again again , and if quarrels with hysterics are already happening less often, but they are becoming more and more difficult, and to any of my arguments about her unreasonable aggression, that the conflict can be calmly resolved, she replies that I am so bad and brought her to such a state.. she tells me it seems she just doesn’t want to change and really sees that I’m succumbing to her manipulations, I’ll try to send her or go with her to a psychologist or psychotherapist, if there are no results, then apparently I’ll have to break off the relationship

    Again I turn to you, I tried to behave as you advised, when asked to go to a psychologist or psychotherapist, she laughs and says that she is not a psychopath, and an attempt to stop her manipulations, in particular ignoring her, led to her going out onto the 12th floor balcony and I blackmailed her that she would dump her, she is unbalanced, when I break up with her I am afraid that I might actually commit suicide, what can be done either in terms of referring her to a psychologist or in terms of a safe separation?

    • Either you can help her decide to seek help (exactly how to do this - you should know better, since you have been living with her for two years), or you will suffer from her inappropriate behavior all the time you spend together... Without face-to-face help She definitely won’t need a specialist. There is simply nothing to add to what was written earlier without seeing the patient.

      You need to break up with her while there are no children. My daughter is almost the same and doesn’t want to change. If earlier she asked for forgiveness for, so to speak, bad behavior, then over the years she began to believe that everyone in the family was to blame. Ruslan, you can’t change her in any way, don’t waste time on her, life will be poisoned with such a girl. There should be peace and order in the house, love and minor quarrels (you can’t live without them) and most importantly, find a girl so that you are drawn to her and so that you are not ashamed of her behavior.

      You need to break up with her while there are no children. My daughter is almost the same and doesn’t want to change. If earlier she asked for forgiveness for, so to speak, bad behavior, then over the years she began to believe that everyone in the family was to blame. Ruslan, you can’t change her in any way, don’t waste time on her, life will be poisoned with such a girl. There should be peace and order in the house, love and minor quarrels (you can’t live without them), and most importantly, find a girl so that you are drawn to her and so that you are not ashamed of her behavior.

My husband and I have been together for 2 years. For the first six months, I was happy that a loving, attentive, affectionate man was with me, carried me in his arms, and blew away specks of dust. There were, of course, quarrels, but minor ones. The only thing that always amazed me was that during the conflict he could say such words to me that it’s difficult to even describe. But she didn’t pay much attention to it. The first time he laid his hand on me was after drinking enough alcohol. It was unbearable. I was in a closed room for 3 hours, he beat me, then he took a knife and cut my dress on me, broke a bottle on my head, after which I was already unconscious. I woke up on the balcony in a pool of blood. Seeing that I had regained consciousness, he literally ordered me to wash myself and lie down to sleep next to him. I started to get hysterical, he started beating me again. At some point, the neighbors started breaking down the door and I managed to escape, wrapped in a blanket, and left. I don’t know how, but I forgave him after a couple of months. And everything repeated itself, only the next time he tortured me for several days until the police intervened. But with our laws, there will be real punishment only when he kills. I can only say one thing, all this continues over and over again. I turned into a dog and I know that I will forgive him again. I know it's my fault, but maybe there is a way to cure it. I'm afraid that he will kill me soon. Tell me what can be done!!?

• Taisiya, you and only you can make yourself happy. Only you can change your life. You are now a victim, you need to urgently contact a specialist if you yourself are not capable. And my advice is to RUN AWAY from this asshole!!! As soon as possible! I hope you don't have children. Go to your mother, to your friend, there are centers for women who find themselves in difficult situations, or even to the train station! He will always beat you because you endured it! You cannot fight back, leave, run away. But I’m sure you can do it if you want it yourself. Change your life once and for all. And finally stop being a victim. Good luck to you!

How to cope with the aggression of a 9-year-old child with epilepsy. The girl doesn’t want to do her homework, she starts throwing everything, screaming, and may hit her mother. There is no way to deal with it, just trouble. What should we do, please help.

• Hello, Nadezhda. In your case with your daughter, we recommend that you consult a child psychologist. After talking with both you and the girl, the specialist will be able to establish the reasons for aggressive behavior and tell you how to more effectively achieve the desire to learn.

  • Thanks, we think we can try it too. Only I'm a grandmother. My daughter is already exhausted with her. The granddaughter takes Depakine, there are no attacks, and her character has become aggressive during the treatment. And when will this all get better?

My husband and I lived together for 5 years. We are 25 years apart. I am now 39, he is 64. Signs of aggression began to appear after the first 3 months. It seemed to me that it was my fault, I tried to talk, understand the reason and not do it again. Sometimes this was expressed in a furious scream (very, very strong, impossible to convey), sometimes in silence from 2 days to 10-15. As a result, I was always the first to make peace. Over the course of 5 years, similar situations occurred once a month. (on average) The husband never once considered himself guilty the whole time. Moreover, he punished. You don’t know how to behave, I’m going on vacation for the New Year alone. So out of 5 New Year holidays, 2 times I celebrated the New Year at home alone. At the same time, I tried to react differently to his hyper/or or long silence. And I screamed back at first (this turned out to be the most ineffective) and calmly tried to explain how I felt and left for a day or two. Once at the airport we were flying on vacation, I went to the toilet and lingered a little, screaming like mad for about 10 minutes, people began to gather around. I managed to stop only when I said that either you stop or I’m not going. Then on vacation I was silent for 2 weeks. I went separately. The last breakup was because he screamed when I told him what I bought at the grocery store. He yelled that he didn’t want to listen to this, the topic was closed. I tried to justify myself, causing him to go into rage. In the end I said that I couldn’t listen to this anymore. And she left. He said, well, I went to... A month later he called and brought me my things from his dacha. And he said that if you apologize, I will forgive you. I came back 1 day later and apologized. And he said, you have a scandal on your tongue all the time, you can’t stop in time as always, I signaled to you to stop, but you don’t hear what they say to you. In general, I go on vacation alone in the summer, but the second autumn vacation is still in question. And we also had tickets to the theater, he said that he wasn’t going to go there alone, he didn’t go alone, and so on. since I may not have time at all. I couldn't stand it and left forever. 3 days have passed. It’s hard, I’m in a lot of pain. I’m trying to calm myself down, maybe he’s not normal?

• Hello Irina. It is clear that your husband has an unstable psyche and is dependent on periodic manifestations of aggression. It doesn’t matter whether it’s you or another wife, he will behave the same way.
  You did everything right by leaving, I don’t understand why you are suffering? In a relationship, he is the tyrant, and you are the victim, and this will always be the case.

  • I suffer because I know that I myself am responsible for everything that happens to me. So I’m trying to understand whether EVERYTHING was done on my part. And also, I love him very much, every finger, every hair... But I understand that I will soon become disabled if I stay. It’s better to “die” once than to do it endlessly. When he quarreled with me, it was like being thrown into hell: “you stop breathing and feeling.”

    I printed out your answer, I’m re-reading it, it becomes a little easier.
    THANK YOU.

My sister and I have a mother born in 1927. She almost lost her memory. She doesn’t recognize some of her loved ones, doesn’t understand where she lives, can’t understand that her husband (our father) died and plus her illness. My sister takes care of my mother. After the death of her father, her sister does not leave her mother. She quit her job and sleeps with her mother in the same room. She is a doctor, a nurse and a nanny for parents. Look for such daughters. And even before her illness, her mother doted on her. But now everything has turned into a continuous nightmare. It was as if a demon had possessed the mother. She does everything in defiance, picks on food, doesn’t want to take medications, calls her sister names we’ve never heard from her, has already tried to hit her several times and has bitten her twice. My sister also has health problems. WHAT TO DO? How to reduce mom's aggressiveness. You have to hide your knives, but you can’t foresee everything.

• Hello, Yuri. In your case with your mother, you need to seek help from a psychotherapist.

Aggressive human behavior is a natural reaction to danger, triggered automatically by the body in emergency situations. Sudden outbursts of rage often lead to unpredictable and irreparable consequences. Why do outbreaks of aggression occur and how to resist them?

An aggressive person is a real problem for those around him.

Thoughtless offensive words or awkward movements can enrage an interlocutor, neighbor, wife or husband, who becomes dangerous both for himself and for the people around him. An aggressive person may commit a crime that he will regret for the rest of his life. Why can't we always control our rages? How to get rid of anger painlessly?

Why does a person become aggressive?

Each person has his own boiling point; in a few seconds, the most balanced individuals can turn into reckless people if a feeling of danger arises. Not only a person’s personal qualities influence the level of aggressiveness; the hormonal cocktail given by nature has no less influence on this level.

Researchers in the field of human psyche have concluded that the causes of aggressive human behavior are fluctuations in the level of the following hormones:

Adrenalin;

Norepinephrine;

Testosterone.

Adrenaline launches a rescue program, not everyone is endowed with norepinephrine, but people who have norepinephrine splashing into their blood instead of adrenaline are more likely to jump into battle than run away. Testosterone gives a person a quick temper, and the higher the level of this hormone, the more aggressive the person is.

The presence and quantity of certain hormones explains the behavior of a person who becomes aggressive and why everyone can restrain their emotions to their own extent. No one has yet learned to keep this reaction under complete control.

Psychologist Erich Fromm studied inappropriate behavior and identified two types of aggression.

1. Benign aggression serves the cause of life. A person shows this type of aggression when his interests are threatened.

2. Malignant human aggression is an acquired reaction associated with cruelty or with a pathological feeling of asserting oneself through aggressiveness.

You can and should fight benign aggression on your own. And people with malignant aggression need the help of psychologists or psychiatrists.

Aggression is a word of Latin origin (“aggredi”) and means “attack, to attack.” The modern rhythm of life, mental and physical stress, insomnia and regular stressful situations lead to the fact that the population is becoming more and more aggressive.

Someone, throwing out negative energy, calms down and moves on, but someone cannot cope with the burden of problems on their own and aggressive behavior already becomes a mental illness, and not just a manifestation of a bad character or a reaction to a particular situation. Psychotherapists consider aggression to be destructive human behavior that causes psychological discomfort and physical harm to people. In addition, aggressive behavior for no reason may indicate serious hormonal imbalances in the body, as well as the fact that the person is suffering from Alzheimer's disease. In any case, aggressive behavior requires a thorough examination, which is not recommended to be postponed under any circumstances. It is no secret that aggression increases every year. It affects not only disadvantaged countries, but also quite happy ones in terms of the economy and standard of living.

Aggression is a form of destructive behavior that manifests itself in causing physical, emotional or psychological harm to others. Vanity, endless worries, the rhythm of life, stress - all this contributes to the manifestation of anger and hostility towards others. Both the person himself and the people around him suffer from such behavior. What are the forms of aggressive behavior and what are their causes?

Causes of aggression

A person is not born aggressive by itself. Of course, this may be a consequence of a serious illness, but most often aggression is associated with certain factors. These include:

Psychological trauma. Aggression is a consequence of parents. If they showed this negative quality in relation to the baby, then the baby will completely adopt their character trait over time. Some, even when creating their own family, do not draw any conclusions, but, on the contrary, act in the same way as their parents.
Frequent viewing of films and TV series with obvious manifestations of violence and horror. Games with a similar attitude captivate a person even more, so he begins to show aggression not only in the virtual world. At any opportunity, this quality will break out in reality.

Personal problems. When many things in life don't happen the way we planned, we get angry and upset. However, it is better to draw the right conclusions and not do this again. For some, the problems become so insurmountable that every time they are mentioned, a form of aggressive behavior arises.
Excessive strictness in the education process. If children are limited in everything, then one should not be surprised at the manifestation of their aggressiveness.
Overwork. Because of relaxation or relaxation, nervous breakdowns and manifestations of hostility towards everything often occur.
Irritating factors. One of the reasons for aggression is a feeling of injustice and dissatisfaction with what happened. Each person is individual, so resentment, insult and humiliation in some people cause a response in the form of uncontrollable anger.

Material difficulties. The inability to satisfy one's natural needs is a common cause of aggressive behavior. If you also compare yourself with other, wealthier people, a hostile attitude cannot be avoided!
Alcohol or drug addiction. People from this category show aggression quite often, and their behavior is uncontrollable. also has a negative impact on behavior.
Injustice. Imagine that you are participating in a marathon or sprint race. However, your legs are shackled. Having discovered a difficulty, your anger will accumulate, because you cannot change anything. It is not surprising that millions of people experience similar feelings when they are humiliated, insulted and left out because of their race.

Types of aggression

Depending on the cause, aggression manifests itself in different forms:

Physical. It manifests itself by directly causing bodily harm to another person.
Verbal. Spreading rumors and gossip is considered indirect aggression. It also happens directly, when a person insults and humiliates his interlocutor.
Directed or random.
Auto-aggression is a negative attitude and even causing pain to oneself. External aggression is directed at others.
Justified and unfounded.
Instrumental is used purposefully to achieve a goal, while hostile results in anger.
Defensive aggression is a consequence of such behavior, and provocative aggression is the first attack.

Help with aggression

Both the aggressors themselves and their victims need help. Some need to learn to restrain emotions and control anger, while others need to learn the necessary methods of defense.

Help for aggressors:

Education is the key point in this matter. Parents are advised to remember the main rule: what they invest in their children is how they will grow up. If you do not make any effort in raising your child, the result will only be negative. Therefore, caring mothers and fathers should learn a new teaching method - empathy. Tell your child about the feelings of other people, how his behavior affects others, analyze the actions of the baby and his peers. Such reflections in a calm environment will help eliminate aggression and negativity towards the people around him.

If the aggressor is an adult, then you cannot do without the help of a psychologist. In some cases, even drug treatment is required.

Help for victims of aggression:

Victims of aggression need to formulate their own concept of behavior with people prone to displaying uncontrollable anger. The main thing is to understand their purpose. The aggressor usually tries to make you angry, to feel. If you break down or cry, the goal will be achieved. Therefore, avoid the following behaviors:

Anger. The response of the aggressor even more causes a storm of feelings and emotions, which can even lead to physical violence.

Revenge. This quality will not help calm the aggressor, and you will not feel satisfaction at the same time.
. Sometimes it is better to immediately stop the argument and even leave the aggressor. Avoid those who are prone to such qualities. If this is a person close to you, try to stop the quarrel before it starts.

Learn to choose the moment to talk. Telling your life partner about the problem and your feelings in a calm environment will encourage him to change. At the same time, speak meekly but firmly, looking into the eyes of your interlocutor. Don't forget about self-esteem! If talking doesn't help, seek professional help.

Aggression test

It is impossible to change the aggressor if he himself does not want it. Therefore, each of us should ask ourselves these questions:

— Do I often meet with my spouse and friends?

— Do I get irritated when I'm in a traffic jam or in a long line at the store? Can I restrain myself?

— Do I fall asleep easily or before going to bed am I tormented by thoughts about the troubles of the past day?

— Do I feel shame after a nervous breakdown?

- Am I easy-going or do I have a tendency to harbor grudges?

— Do I often lose control of myself and my emotions?

If you have problems in the areas listed, this does not mean that you have aggression. However, these areas of life indicate your tendency to show uncontrollable anger. Knowing your shortcomings, you should start correcting them and developing those that will help you be a worthy person!

Humanity has been studying aggression and, accordingly, aggressive behavior for a long time. But still, there are still many unanswered questions on this topic. That is why this article will examine aggressive behavior in as much detail as possible: the reasons for its occurrence, various forms, as well as methods of correction.

What it is?

Initially, you need to decide on the terms that will be widely used in this article.

Aggression. There are quite a few explanations for this concept. And they all differ in some way. However, it should initially be noted that the term “aggression” is translated from Latin as “attack.”

• According to Arnold Bass (a famous psychologist), aggression is any human behavior that can cause harm to others.
• Zilman argues that aggression is a person’s attempt to inflict various kinds of bodily and physical injuries on other people.
• Other scientists say that aggression is justified only if there is a desire to cause offense or damage to a person (and not just the end result).

What is aggressive behavior? This is about the same as aggression itself. That is, this is a certain set of actions aimed at causing physical or bodily harm to a person or group of people.

Main groups of reasons

It is imperative to consider the various reasons that may provoke the occurrence of aggressive behavior. Thus, scientists identify three main groups of factors: biological, social and psychological.

Biological reasons

What are they, the biological causes of aggressive behavior?

• Heredity. Especially if it is burdened by various genetic problems, alcoholism, drug use or other psychotropic substances. Or if the parents have a history of various viral infections.
• Sex hormones. Scientists have proven that a person’s aggressiveness is influenced by the amount of certain hormones. Namely, in this case, testosterone levels are important. It increases significantly in adolescence, during puberty.
• Neurotransmitters. Experts say that changes in the metabolic process of neurotransmitters influence aggressive behavior. Namely serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine.
• The frontal lobe of the skull has a special influence on a person’s aggressiveness and deviant behavior (it is the one that carries out planning and suppresses aggression). If it is injured or does not work properly, the processes of aggressiveness and appropriate behavior may be disrupted.

Social factors

It is worth noting that experts say: it is impossible to separately consider only one-sided causes of aggressive behavior. Most often, the problem is provoked by a complex of various factors. Thus, it is important to note that a person’s social environment is of particular importance.

1. Often, aggressive behavior is formed in the family from early childhood as a normal form of communication with others.
2. Psychologists say that less educated people suffer more often from aggressive behavior. Therefore, we can conclude that the level of education also affects a person’s aggression.
3. Aggressive behavior can also develop at the place of work.
4. If we talk about teenagers, then often such incorrect behavior is formed in them as a result of communication in certain groups and groups. The child’s commitment to a particular subculture is also important.

Psychological reasons

The peculiarity of personality traits can also influence the formation of aggressive behavior in a person. In this case, it is most often customary to talk about:

• Anxiety.
• Egocentrism.
• Impulsivity.
• Emotional instability.
• Tendency to emotions of anger, rage.

It is worth noting that the characteristics of control and self-esteem of such a person are also of great importance. However, the level of socialization of each individual is still the most active here (along with the assimilation of legal, moral and ethical standards of behavior), as well as the characteristics of the motivational sphere.

Another set of reasons

Aggressive behavior of a person can also be provoked by other reasons, so-called one-time reasons.

1. Pain. Scientists have experimentally proven that severe pain can cause aggressive behavior. And although the experiments were carried out on animals, the same rule applies to Homo Sapiens - Homo sapiens.
2. Heat. Scientists have long been saying that climatic conditions affect the human condition. So, if an individual is “pressured” by tobacco smoke, sultry heavy air, bad odors - all this can provoke outbursts of anger and aggressive behavior. However, this statement is rather a hypothesis, because scientists have not yet received direct evidence of this fact.
3. Attack. Often, a person’s aggressive behavior is a response to the same actions of another individual. As they say, “an eye for an eye.”
4. Closeness. Again, this fact has been proven through animal experiments. But it still applies to humans. If someone is placed in a small space (such as a cage), aggression and aggressive behavior will occur over time.
5. Alcohol and various psychotropic substances are often the direct cause of aggressive behavior in many individuals.
6. Excitement, including sexual arousal, can also provoke this problem.

Peculiarities

It is worth noting that the aforementioned psychologist Bass describes the features of aggressive behavior on the basis of three extremely simple scales:

1. Physical - verbal (verbal) aggressive behavior.
2. Active - passive aggressive behavior.
3. Direct - indirect aggressive behavior.

However, these are unstable forms and can vary depending on the situation. For example, active physical aggressive behavior is striking another person, beating him. An inactive form is, for example, hiring a killer or conspiring with another person who will cause damage. Passive physical aggressive behavior, for example, is the desire to do everything to prevent another person from reaching the top in their career. Further even easier. So, a verbally active action is a verbal insult. And verbal inactivity is the usual spread of gossip or dirty rumors.

Forms

It is also important to note that there are also different forms of aggressive behavior. So, most often scientists arrange them in special pairs.

• Physiological and pathological aggression. In the first case, a person’s actions do not have malicious intent, but are committed in order to assert himself, to master something. The concept of defensive aggressive behavior may also arise here. In this case, a person simply turns on a defensive reaction and self-preservation instinct. In the second case, we are talking about purposeful, true aggressive behavior. Then the main goal is precisely to cause harm to another person.
• Separately, experts distinguish physical (bodily) and verbal (verbal) aggression. It is worth noting that in young children it is the first form of behavior that predominates. In adults, verbal aggressive behavior is most common. In this case, the process of socialization and the transformation of certain behavioral reactions to adapt to existing moral and ethical standards play a huge role.
• Separately, there is also hidden aggressive behavior (in this case, a person plays out in his head various types of his actions in relation to another person or group of people) and open (divided into two subsequent types).
• There is overt direct and overt indirect aggressive behavior. In the first case, actions are directed directly at the object that you want to harm. In the second case, harm can be caused indirectly. Most often this is done through anonymous letters and spreading gossip. It is also important to note that it is indirect aggressive behavior that can manifest itself openly or on the sly (complaints, lies, denunciations, nagging, gloating).

It should also be said that the founder of psychoanalysis, Gunter Ammon, identifies three main types of aggression (and, accordingly, aggressive behavior):

1. Constructive. In this case, aggressive behavior has socially acceptable forms.
2. Destructive. Here aggressive behavior takes a socially unacceptable form.
3. Scarce. It most often affects patients with various psychosomatic disorders or diseases. In this case, it is customary to talk about a deficit of existing behavioral skills.

Aggressive behavior can also be divided into two types regarding its direction:

1. Extrapunitive behavior. That is, external, aimed at other people.
2. Intrapunitive behavior. Directed exclusively at yourself. This is the so-called auto-aggression.

A few words about children

Aggressive behavior in children is a fairly large set of problems that must be dealt with from a very early age. After all, if certain measures are not taken in time, the child can harm not only too many people, but also himself. Also, advanced forms of this condition are quite difficult to correct and correct.

Psychological portrait of an aggressive child

It is worth noting that aggressive behavior in preschoolers is a very common phenomenon. However, how can you find out that a child has problems and that he needs help at this stage? So, for this you need to know what signs indicate that the baby has aggressive, and not any other, behavior.

• High frequency of aggressive behavior. If a child shows hostility towards others more than 4 times an hour, his behavior can be classified as aggressive.
• Predominance of physical aggression. That is, the child tries to cause bodily harm to people from his environment: hit, kick, pinch, etc.
• Direction of behavior. It is safe to say that a child has big problems if the purpose of his aggressive behavior is to cause pain, and not to achieve a certain goal (for example, to offend in order to take away a toy).

Sources of aggressive behavior in children's groups

It is also important to note that aggressive behavior in children is provoked by the following main factors or, as they are called in psychology, sources:

1. Feeling of fear. A child can behave aggressively if he does not trust others, if he sees danger in his environment.
2. Prohibitions. Very often, the cause of a child’s aggressive behavior is prohibitions that do not allow the child’s plans or desires to be realized. The reason is the usual dissatisfaction of needs.
3. Independence. Also, a child can behave aggressively, defending his right to a certain territory (toy). This is a manifestation of independence, an attempt to gain freedom.

The basis of aggressive manifestations in children

However, it must still be said that the aggressive behavior of preschool children is most often caused by the way of life to which the baby is accustomed. What does it mean? Young children copy everything that happens in their immediate environment. And most often it is family. Practicing psychologists and psychotherapists note that most children with aggressive behavior adopt this form of communication from the relationships of older relatives: parents, grandparents. That is, if it is customary in a family to swear, call each other names and sometimes kick each other, you need to understand that the baby will do the same with other people around him in the external world. Many parents simply need to pay attention to themselves first, and then only look for flaws in their children.

Also, aggressive behavior of preschool children is often caused by ordinary jealousy. That is, with negative behavior the child simply wants to attract attention. Most often, this occurs when another baby is born in the family, and much less time is devoted to the first child.

But here we must remember: if you do not respond correctly to isolated outbursts of aggressiveness and corresponding behavior, this can develop into a bad habit. And it will be much more difficult to cope with this.

Rules of conduct for parents

As mentioned above, aggressive behavior of younger schoolchildren is a very common problem. How, then, should parents react correctly? What needs to be done to avoid further aggravating the condition?

1. We must remember that prohibition and aggression are not the best response to a child’s aggressive behavior. It’s not worth paying your child the same. You need to try to understand the reasons for this behavior, and also try to eliminate them.
2. There is no need to abruptly stop a child’s aggressive behavior. This must be done gradually. We must try to give the baby the opportunity to splash out his aggression. Or move it to something else. For example, you can let your child tear up a photograph of his enemy. As a result, the number of manifestations of aggressive behavior in real life will significantly decrease.
3. Children need to be shown the right example. Therefore, in front of them, you need to try not to get angry, not to shout, and not to offend others. For example, hitting your husband in the shoulder out of anger is setting a bad example for your child.

Parents must remember that aggressive behavior is not always bad. More precisely, sometimes it can be a natural defense against the actions of others. So you can’t scold the baby right away. The best thing to do is to teach him how to manage his temper tantrums. This skill will definitely be useful to him throughout his life. And, of course, while the child is small, he needs to be hugged, kissed as often as possible, and told that he is loved and valuable. After all, often the aggressive behavior of schoolchildren is simply a desire to attract attention.

A few words about teenagers

A separate topic is children during puberty. And, of course, aggressive behavior of teenagers is a huge problem. It is worth noting that the reasons for this are most often the following: fluctuations in hormone levels and the influence of the immediate environment. So, everything about the first point has already been said above. What about the second? Psychologists say that adolescence is the time of formation of a child as an individual, his maturation. Here the desire arises to show independence as often and as much as possible. But the problem is that not all parents are ready for this. And again, prohibitions come to the fore, which are the main provocateurs of such behavior. At the same time, children’s aggressiveness often increases as a result of their communication in certain groups. Teenagers often cooperate in so-called groups of interests. Some of them aim to harm not only parents and people around them, but also themselves (groups of teenagers prone to suicidal behavior). In this case, the child must be removed from such a group as soon as possible.

Correction of behavior of young children

Separately, it is also necessary to consider such a sub-item as correction of a child’s aggressive behavior. What can a parent do to get rid of this problem?

1. Ignoring minor aggression. However, you can't just pretend that nothing happened. You can say: “Baby, I know that you feel bad, I understand you.” It is strictly forbidden to shout and respond in kind.
2. If a small child begins to show aggression, you should try to switch his attention to something interesting. That is, the baby needs to be distracted.
3. We must learn to bring a child out of a state of aggression. So, you can approach him, take him by the hand (a distracting maneuver) and ask if he is tired, maybe wants to drink or eat.

Physical exercise

Psychologists say that an excellent correction of aggressive behavior in children is various physical exercises. However, for this, the child must want to cope with the problem himself. That is, at moments when he feels a surge of aggression and a desire to hurt someone, you need to start squatting, doing finger exercises, etc. This is not only an excellent distracting, but also a calming maneuver.

How can you distract yourself from outbursts of aggression and aggressive behavior? So, the child should know that the following actions will help him:

1. You need to inhale the air, hold your breath for a while, and then exhale.
2. If there is such an opportunity, you should go.
3. The usual clenching and unclenching of fists helps a lot.
4. The usual tearing of paper helps to cope with aggressive behavior.
5. If a child has frequent outbursts of aggressive behavior, he should always have two walnuts with him. At the moment of a surge of rage, they need to be shaken in the hands, thrown, thereby being distracted.

It is important to note that correcting the aggressive behavior of young children often cannot be achieved through the efforts of parents alone. You should not hesitate to involve specialists in this action - psychologists, psychotherapists.

Correction of adolescent behavior

Aggressive behavior among teenagers is also a very common problem. A lot of modern children become uncontrollable during puberty. This is greatly influenced by the parents themselves, communication with the outside world, and television. What kind of correction can be made to the aggressive behavior of adolescents, and what should it include?

1. Calm reaction. Most often, a teenager’s aggressive behavior is aimed precisely at offending his parents and “pissing them off.” In this case, we must try to do everything so that after an outburst of anger the child develops a feeling of shame for his actions. You can also ask leading questions about fatigue, hunger or thirst during inappropriate behavior (as is the case with small children).
2. The parent must remember that the focus should not be on the teenager himself, but on his behavior. That is, it is not the child who is bad, but his manner of communicating with others. When analyzing a situation, you need to concentrate on this case, without remembering previous similar ones.
3. With teenagers, you also need to control your negative emotions and outbursts of anger. And for aggressive behavior you should not be afraid to ask your child for forgiveness.
4. Correcting aggressive behavior of adolescents prohibits such completely ineffective methods as threats, name-calling, and the use of physical force.
5. The best method to bring a teenager out of a state of aggression is to be calm. This will discourage and calm the child.

Preventive measures

Prevention of aggressive behavior is also very important. After all, as they say, it is better to prevent a problem than to deal with it later. What should you remember in this case?

• Correct formation of a circle of interests. It is necessary to involve the child in activities that have a positive effect on the formation of personality: music, sports, reading.
• The child will not have time for anger and aggression if he is involved somewhere as often as possible. In this case, various activities will be relevant: labor, sports, organizational, artistic, etc.
• Even in the most difficult situations, you need to pay attention to the positive aspects of the child’s character. And not the negative ones.
• You cannot respond to a child’s aggressive behavior in kind. In this case, he will understand that he is doing wrong. Otherwise, this behavior will definitely repeat itself.
• Children's feelings must be respected. You also need to listen to them. It is very important to find out the reason for aggressive behavior. After all, this is the only way to stop this problem in the future.

What else does the prevention of aggressive behavior in children and adolescents involve? So, parents must remember that aggression is a release of a huge amount of energy. That is why we must try to redirect it in the right direction. This could be work, tearing up paper, or even a pillow fight.