And the subjects of the Russian Empire will express themselves like this...

I, the servant of God Dmitry Mikhailovich Vasiliev, in the 30th minute of driving the infidel self-propelled cart Mazda 323, being possessed by the demon of arrogance, fell into the sin of violating the commandments of road movement.

At the crossroads of the roads of Enlightenment and Engels (cursed be this Antichrist!) I, neglecting the fact that the red light was showing at the signal, when turning to my right hand, did not allow a pedestrian to pass - a youth with God's creature the dog Tuzik.

I kindly ask you to note that Tuzik was not tightly lashed with a neck rope. Tuzik, possessed by righteous anger at my infidel cart, began barking and threw himself under my wheels. Overwhelmed by pity for every creature of God, I applied the emergency brake.

At that moment, the girl on the cart of the godless Hyundai Getz was making a maneuver to change lanes behind me, as a result, due to my emergency braking, she hit my cart from behind (diagram and list of damages are attached)

From the impact, my cart moved forward and completely crushed Tuzik. As a result of the injuries received, God's creature Tuzik died on the spot.

Recognizing the sin of violating clauses 1.3 and 1.5 of the Commandments, I am ready to suffer penance and donate a white bull to the district temple of the Road Warriors.

I do not admit myself guilty of damaging the carts, since the girl did not keep the distance given to us by law from above, and in general she is an unreasonable woman, the cause of Adam’s fall from grace.

But, since we not only use foreign words in daily communication in our native language, but also when we communicate with foreigners, the problems of translation are still close to us...

It is very important to be able to correctly translate from English into Russian, as well as from Russian into English.
It happens that we incorrectly perceive English words by ear or mistakenly understand their meaning. There are also curious mistakes among professionals involved in adapting English-language books and films.

Sometimes mistakes happen such that later they become legendary.

There are three main reasons why translation errors occur.

1. Poorly developed listening skills

Most of the mistakes are due to the fact that sometimes translators find it difficult to hear certain words:

“I have been there.”- “I have beans there” (correct: “I’ve been there”).
Been /bɪn/ - past participle of the verb to be;
bean /biːn/ - “beans”.

“By the way.”- “Buy a road” (correct: “By the way”).
By /baɪ/ - preposition “by”, “on”, “to”, “about”, “at”;
buy /baɪ/ - “to buy”.

“Stop the violence!”- “Let the violins be silent!” (correct: “Stop the violence!”)
Violence /ˈvaɪələns/ - “violence”, “cruelty”;
violins /ˌvaɪəˈlɪns/ - “violins”.

2. Polysemy of English words

One of the most characteristic features of the English language is its polysemy (multiple meanings). Many words in it have several lexical meanings, which means they can be used in completely different ways. different situations. This is where a considerable number of translation errors arise, based on the polysemy of words in the English language:

“I saw my Honey today.”- “I drank my honey today” (correctly: “Today I saw my sweetheart”).

“Phone seller”.- “Call the seller” (correctly: “Telephone seller”).

“I'll be back.”- The Terminator wanted to say: “I’ll be back,” but he said: “I’ll have my back.”
I'll come back - I'll come back.

3. Literal translation of idioms

In order to make our speech expressive and add imagery to it, we use idioms or phraseological units - stable speed speeches that have their own unique meaning. Idiomatic words and expressions are a fairly broad and complex topic, so we have written a whole series of articles devoted to the phraseology of the English language. Some manage to translate literally phraseological units existing in English, and the result is complete confusion:

“Watch out!”- “Look outside!” (correct: “Beware!”)

"Ladybird"- “Female bird” (correct: “Ladybug”; “Beloved” (poetic).

“I fell in love.”- “I fell in love” (correctly: “I fell in love”).

In addition to the above reasons, one of the largest sources of errors can be considered Google program Translate. Unfortunately, she is not the best assistant in translating from English into Russian (and vice versa), as she often translates individual words from the phrase, without taking into account its entire context:

Are these exercises difficult? - No, lungs.
- These exercises are difficult? - No, the lungs (lungs as an organ human body).

4. Errors in interpretation and translation

As you know, translation is carried out in two forms: oral and written. Interpretation is used when conducting meetings and negotiations with foreign language interlocutors, as well as when translating various video materials. Written translation is used when translating texts, including fiction and documentation. No matter how excellent professionals interpreters and translators are, but, as they say, even an old woman can get screwed. Even experienced specialists can sometimes mishear a word, incorrectly translate a set expression, make a typo, or choose the wrong translation of a word.

Let's learn from other people's mistakes.

Let's look at examples of mistakes made by English translators and try not to repeat their mistakes.

Funny blunders of interpreters

“So long!”- “So far!”
A touching farewell scene in one of the films ends with the phrase “So long!”, which for some unknown reason was decided to be translated as “So far!” Most often, the word long is used to indicate the length (extension) of an object or the duration (in time) of some phenomenon. In addition, the idiom so long is translated as “bye”, “farewell”, “goodbye”.

“Calm down!”- “Go downstairs!”

Ignorance of phrasal verbs does not exempt you from responsibility. And calm down does not translate at all as “go down.” Correctly translated it sounds like this: “Calm down!” (calm down - “calm down”, “calm down”).

“I need you, buddy!”- “I need your body!»

In the American comedy “Father of the Bride,” the hero says: “I need you, buddy!” Which was translated as “I need your body!” The translator of this film has a clear need to develop listening skills, because buddy (“friend”, “buddy”) and body (“body”) are completely different things.

“Come on, old boy!”- “Come here, old boy!”

A funny oxymoron (a combination of incompatible things), which was the result of a translation mistake. Initially it should have been translated as follows: “Come here, buddy!” or “Come on, buddy!” (old boy - “buddy”, “old man”). Perhaps, it would not be amiss for this translator to replenish his knowledge about spoken English by studying English slang.

Still slang expressions, various abbreviations and acronyms form an integral part of modern English-speaking culture.

“Slender throat”- “Slender neck.”

In this case, the translation option from the synonymous range of meanings was incorrectly selected: we do not say “slender neck.” We take a dictionary and look up the word slender - “thin”, “slender”, “graceful”. Which of these will be more harmonious? Correct: “thin neck”? Why neck? When throat is more like a throat or throat. Maybe the neck, of course, in some cases, but just like that, without context - the throat.

“Fur coat”- “Fur coat.”

Here we observe the phenomenon of literal translation, although it would be more logical to use the Russian-language analogue - “fur coat”.

“Witness box”- “Witness booth.”

Although the box is in certain cases can be translated as “booth” (for example, phone box - “ telephone booth"), in this case the English-language author most likely meant the place occupied by a witness to testify in court.

“Drugstore”- "Drug warehouse."

In fact, this word refers to a pharmacy kiosk that is familiar to us, where they sell over-the-counter drugs and related products.

“Wireless Internet”- “Wireless Internet”.

The literal translation of this phrase has turned the achievement of the technological world - wireless Internet - into an obscure device.

“Fly-fishing”- “Fishing on the fly.”

This translation error is easily explained. As we have already said, most words in the English language are polysemantic, and without being extremely careful, you can easily confuse a couple of meanings of the same word. As, for example, here: fly-fishing refers to the process of fishing for fish on a fly (a fly), and not catching it in free flight (fly - “to fly”).

“Max found him bleeding like a pig.”- “Max saw that he was bleeding like a pig.”

The correct translation of the phraseological unit to bleed like a pig is “to bleed”, “to bleed heavily”. The origin of this expression is explained by a rather cruel phenomenon: when pigs are slaughtered for meat, their jugular vein is cut, which causes massive bleeding. Also, the sentence would be clearer if it were translated as "Max found him bleeding."

“He stretched his legs.”- “He stretched out his legs.”

A lack of understanding of what an idiom is and the use of incorrectly memorized information when translating can change the meaning of an expression beyond recognition. So, to stretch one’s legs just means “stretch your legs” (especially after sitting on something for a long time), and not the same as kick the bucket (“stretch your legs”). -

Hallo, Mellville!- he shouts. - Hello, Melville! - translators are not lost.

According to the plot of one of the books, the hero accuses a certain Melville of cheating. And although hullo is an informal version of hello - a word used when greeting someone, in this meaning (based on the context of the situation), hullo is an exclamation of surprise, attracting attention. This phrase can be translated this way: “What are you doing, Melville!”

“I’m not a woman you can trust” translated as a terrible and frank confession: “I’m not a woman, believe me.” And this despite the fact that the heroine only wanted to talk about her personal qualities: “I’m not the woman you can trust.”

The conclusion suggests itself: it is extremely important to train translation techniques along with other speech skills. For what?

“She is bold today!”- “She’s bald today!”

It is unlikely that any adequate author would describe a heroine who changes her hairstyle so radically. Most likely, he meant the courage and determination that she showed in a certain situation (to be bold - “to gain courage”, “to dare”).

“There were men and women standing at the bus station.”- “There were women and people standing at the bus stop.”

Actually, men should be translated as “people,” however, judging by the context, the author mentions representatives of both sexes: “There were men and women at the bus stop.” Women are people too.

And one more thing...

Can You hear me?-Can you have me here?
Undressed custom model- Naked customs model.
Manicure- Money heals.
I'm just asking- I'm just the king of ass.
I have been there- I have beans there.
God only knows- The only nose of God.
We are the champions- We are champignons.
Do You feel alright?- Do you know everyone on the right?
Bye bye baby, baby good bye- Buy buy a child, the child is a good purchase
To be or not to be?- To bee or not to bee?
I fell in love- I fell into love.
Just in case- Only in the briefcase.
I will never give up- I will never throw up.
Oh dear- Ah, deer.
I saw my Honey today- I drank my honey today.
I"m going to make you mine- I'm going to dig a mine for you.
May God be with you - The May Lady Bee is with you.
Finnish people- Finished people.
Bad influence- Bad cold.
Phone seller- Call the seller.
Good products- God is on the ducks' side.
Let's have a party- Let's organize a party.
Watch out! - Look outside!
I know his story well- I know your historical well.
Let it be!- Let's eat bees!
Press space bar to continue- Space Press Bar continues
I love you baby- I love you, women!

The story about the translators (supposedly a fact of life):

At some institute that trained literary translators, during a test, students were given the text of a Russian ditty and asked to translate it.

The text is:

Oh, my bast shoes,
Four frills,
I want to spend the night at home,
I want - at Egorka's.

Leaflets with the results of the work were collected and given to students of another group, with the offer to translate them back into Russian.

Here are the most interesting options:

The shoes shine unbearably with varnish,
It's just a step to the abyss, everything is decided.
Nowadays sleep is no longer easy for me at home,
I'm destined to sleep with George today.

Second option:

It's been a long journey in boots
The frills have become dusty to the roots,
I want to be able to relax at home,
If not, I’ll spend the night with friends.

Anecdotes about translators:

***
In a hotel in the States, an American woman (A) and a tourist from Russia (R) had to be placed in the same room. In the morning A discovered that her bag was missing. Naturally, I let the hotel security know. They wanted to resolve everything peacefully and called the translator (P) and the following dialogue arose between them:
A: My bag is missing, ask the Russian if she took it?
P: Did you take the American woman’s bag?
R: I need her!..
P: She needs it.
A: Do you need it? But this is my bag?! Well, if you need it, the bag costs 300 bucks, let him give you 300 and let’s leave in peace.
P: Give me 300 bucks and the conversation is over.
R: Hello, I’m your aunt!..
P: She is your relative.
A: Hmmmm. Yes, my grandparents are emigrants from Russia. Well, okay, since it’s a relative, then let him give at least 200 dollars.
P: 200 dollars.
R: Doesn’t she need horseradish?..
P: The Russian offers to pay with vegetables.

Life stories:

***
One thousand nine hundred and eighty worn out year, group Soviet troops in Germany. In the city of Dresden, our military invites German officers to celebrate November 7 in the garrison club-assembly hall. A very responsible event - after all, an official international action with a political overtone. As it should be - first the official part, then the banquet. A whole lieutenant general arrives from the “center” to report. As usual, as part of the report, a text of several dozen pages was prepared for him - about the successes of our socialist society, about the growing international friendship between our countries, about the important mission we are performing in Eastern Europe etc.

A lieutenant, a very intelligent young man, passionately in love with German culture and language and poorly adapted to military service, was appointed as the translator of the report. He was never distinguished by any exploits, and in order to be noticed (and maybe promoted), he needed to please the “general from Moscow.” With great diligence, he simultaneously translated a four-hour report to his German colleagues, who, taking all their will into a fist, tried not to fall asleep and not cause an international scandal. German officers are well-mannered people and therefore tried to portray an interested expression on their faces. But by the end of the four-hour report, it became obvious to even the speaking lieutenant general that the audience was in a pre-comatose state.

In order to defuse the situation a little, at the end of the report, he decided to tell a joke... The young translator, in order not to miss idiomatic phrases and to better convey the meaning of the joke to the guests, first listened to the entire joke, and then decided to translate... After a long pause, in a stuttering voice, he said: in German, something that only a few years later I decided to tell my friends:

Dear guests... Just now, at the end of the report, my general told you an anecdote, the meaning of which I did not understand even in my native language. If you have even a drop of sympathy for me, I ask you not to “hand me over” to your superiors and applaud the speaker...

Usually, the self-possessed Germans crawled out of their chairs with laughter and joyfully applauded the end of their torment. The general was pleased - the report was a success! And a month later the starley washed the captain’s stars.

***
In one of the countries of South-West Africa. At one of the magnificent banquets dedicated to the next anniversary of the conquests of the local revolution, which was attended by the entire top of the local generals, a tipsy Soviet colonel, after drinking pink water from a special vessel intended for washing hands after eating game, began to tell an anecdote about Vasily Ivanovich Chapaev. Realizing that I (the translator) was in trouble and that the natives wouldn’t understand a damn thing - who he is and why he’s sleeping with some Anna, who, moreover, is a master at shooting a machine gun, I quickly got my bearings and told the mountain an old and shaggy joke about a cunning Portuguese peasant (the prototype of our Khoja Nasreddin). In response there was long and prolonged applause, smoothly turning into wild laughter.

***
The word "Caucasian" has 2 meanings in English:
1. Caucasian, native or resident of the Caucasus;
2. A person of Caucasian race, a white person.
This word confused Russian translators not so long ago. Somehow in the 90s. last century, a news report that a plane crashed near Manila (Philippines) and all the passengers were killed, 95% of whom were Caucasians, was broadcast on the central channel of Russian television all day, with notes of some bewilderment in the voices of the announcers. Until, finally, around midnight, they reported that the dead “Caucasians” were not residents of the Caucasus, but representatives of different European countries and white Americans, and the error in interpretation was the fault of the translators. Other Russian television channels continued to broadcast the news without any changes.
To this day, this term continues to confuse many “highly professional” Russian translators.

***
I already remember it in my own words. Since 1986, Vladimir Karpov has been the secretary of the Writers' Union. He came to writing from the army, honored colonel, intelligence officer, Hero Soviet Union... Yes, you may have even read his novels “Eternal Battle” or “Take Alive.” Due to his position, he often had to give interviews and hold press conferences. At one of these press conferences with Soviet and foreign journalists, a certain official from the organizers, introducing Karpov to those present, delved into the stages of his biography and, among other things, noted that while being the commander of a reconnaissance platoon, he took 79 “languages.” The translator-interpreter, a girl right after the foreign language, inexperienced in the intricacies of military terminology, translated almost word for word, which to the ears of the foreign journalists present sounded like “he mastered 79 languages.” Such biographical details shocked the public. Everyone silently looked with respect at the talented intelligence officer, since they had never met such polyglots. Finally, one of the journalists decided to clarify.
- Did you say 79?
The girl-translator turned to the official and asked:
- Seventy nine?
He nodded:
- Seventy nine.
The girl translated dispassionately:
- 79.
And then the comedy of the situation dawned on one of the Soviet journalists. There was a laugh, then another, and finally everyone laughed out loud. Someone along the way explained what was happening to the foreigners and now the whole room was laughing. To Karpov’s credit, he was not offended, and when the reason for the laughter was explained to him, he laughed along with everyone else.

***
Stories about military translators and the features of simultaneous translation into different wild tongues reminded me of a story told about twenty years ago by one of my friends. He, as a graduate of VKIYA, having received lieutenant's shoulder straps, went to Algeria to serve as a military translator. With French.
One day there was a very important reception at which ours, Algerians and the French were present. It is possible that there were other brothers in arms, but that does not matter. The important thing is that our hero was assigned to a certain general of ours, so that he could translate all this enemy speech into Russian, and the general’s nonsense, accordingly, into French.
At first the general was quite sane, he spoke a lot, and the translator translated successfully. Then the stripe-maker mercifully let the lieutenant go to eat and drink, noting at the same time that he no longer intended to speak, but intended to take him to his chest. This is what our hero took advantage of, having managed to consume a lot of delicious alcoholic drinks. And when the pleasant alcoholic warmth had already fairly spread throughout the body, the lieutenant found his general demanding an interpreter to come to him. To make a toast together. It was a nightmare, because the general could no longer speak clearly, and the translator could no longer translate clearly.
“But they’ll fuck me,” it flashed through my head, “they’ll say I couldn’t handle it!” An unexpected, but correct solution appeared in the alcohol-poisoned brain. More precisely, it was a pre-planned impromptu, prepared at the institute. There, someone smart forced future translators to memorize several long, good toasts in the enemy language, and to memorize them automatically. Like, it will come in handy when you find yourself in a “situation.”
And so, the general brings a blizzard, the Russians are decorously silent, and the translator, swaying slightly, with inspiration in the language of Moliere and Rousseau, on full autopilot, pronounces an intoxicatingly beautiful toast, interrupted sometimes by polite applause from the French-speaking audience.
Finally, the toast ended, the translator received a storm of applause, and, going into alcoholic nirvana, for some reason he remembered the stunned eyes of the Algerians and the cackling faces of the French. The explanation of the phenomenon happened the next morning, when one of his French acquaintances retold him of yesterday's performance. “The toast was wonderful, mon chere, but why the hell did you constantly address the audience as “Dear Vietnamese friends!”?

***
One of my favorite “living” stories, which, in my opinion, belongs here. It took place at the former Military Institute of Foreign Languages.
Phone call from the Ministry of Defense:
– We urgently need a translator from Angolan! The car is out!
– Don’t they know that they speak Portuguese in Angola? – the duty officer was surprised, dialing the internal number of the faculty. When it turned out that all the students who spoke Portuguese were on leave, the problem was solved simply: they grabbed the first “Spaniard” they came across and sent them to their destination, relying on the fact that Spanish and Portuguese are related languages. Like Russian and Ukrainian.
A guy arrived at the Ministry of Defense. There they tell him:
– You will translate the film.
– Are there installation sheets?
- No. What is this?
The poor fellow felt sad. Simultaneous translation from a non-core language is a task in itself. But it’s one thing to have live communication between interlocutors, when the translator can, if something happens, ask again or take a break, and quite another thing to have a film. Why don't you stop him to look in the dictionary!
They took the “Spaniard” into the booth. They gave me a microphone. The lieutenant colonel sat down next to him. Just in case.
The translator sees that only generals are gathering in the hall. “Well,” he thinks, “Khan has come to me!”
Finally, the lights went out and the first shots began to appear.
– Listen, this is not the Angolan language! It's Mongolian! – the endless expanses of the steppe, the short, curly horses and the “Genghis Khans” sitting on them did not leave even the slightest possibility of doubting that this was Asia, and not Africa.
-Are you a translator? – the lieutenant colonel asked a rhetorical question.
- Well, yes!
- So translate!
There is nothing to do. Got ready and started.
He looks at the screen, and there are two Mongols gathered in the middle of the steppe on their small horses and talking about something.
- Hello!
- Hello.
- How are you?
“Nothing,” our linguistic talent improvises.
-Have you collected the harvest?
- Yes, thank you.
At this moment, one of the interlocutors pulls out a saber and blows off the head of the other. Then comes the voiceover.
– ...This is how collectivization began in Mongolia! – the “translator” skillfully interprets it and proceeds to the next scene.
In general, the generals liked the film.

This is the very situation for which we don’t like off-screen laughter. You are watching a foreign sitcom, the audience is laughing behind the scenes, and sometimes in the most inappropriate places. It doesn’t seem funny, but these idiots in the audience can’t stop. As a rule, this means that there is a joke that was either translated unfunny, or was botched in the adaptation, or was completely ignored.

Most of us first watched the series “Friends” on the “Russia” channel, for which the translation was done by the “Nota” studio. Much later, a new translation appeared for the Paramount Comedy channel, but the dirty deed has already been done: the old version has become a classic and the voice acting in it is more pleasant.

We have selected several interesting mistakes in the old translation that shed light on some scenes of the series.

Chandler says that he dreamed that he was back at school, standing in the school cafeteria and realizing that he was completely naked. Friends who listen to the story sympathize with him, since everyone has ever dreamed of something like this. But Chandler continues.

In the original, Chandler says that his mother calls him (“And it turns out it’s my mother”). Why the translators decided to replace the word “mother” with “president”, one can only guess. Maybe they thought it would be funnier this way.

Warner Bros. Television

Friends went to a restaurant to celebrate Monica's promotion. Phoebe, Joey and Rachel try to order less because they don't earn much and can't afford to spend so much. But then it turns out that the bill will be divided equally between everyone except Monica.

What this flash of conscience has to do with it is completely unclear. Probably because Chandler didn't say anything like that at all. When Phoebe objects, "No, I'm sorry, but that won't happen," he replies, "Oh, promnight flashback." Paramount Comedy translated this moment more adequately: “Wow! They told me the same thing at graduation.”

Warner Bros. Television

Ross and Chandler in a cafe

It is not at all clear why Chandler was alarmed. It becomes clear if you open the original and hear or read in the subtitles that the word “critical days” was replaced by the slang word “girth”, which literally translates as “girth” and is used, among other things, in situations when talking about the thickness of a man’s genital organ. In this case, Chandler's concern seems more believable.

Warner Bros. Television

The action takes place in Chandler and Joey's apartment. Rachel finds a book in the freezer.

In general, Stephen King's novel "Shining", written back in 1977, is quite famous book to quickly find the correct translation. And it would be clearer to Russian-speaking viewers why Joey was scared.

Warner Bros. Television

Chander smokes and opened the window so as not to smoke in the room. It's autumn outside, so the apartment immediately becomes cold.

It sounds, frankly, very strange. Even for Phoebe. If you look at the original, Phoebe actually says: “Really cause mine get me out of tickets.” Something like “And mine help me avoid fines” (for traffic violations).

Warner Bros. Television

Ross, Joey and Chandler finished watching the film, rented from a video rental store, and an emotional dialogue ensues:

To be honest, it’s not very clear why they were so excited - some little-known film from 1990, known only to fans of Steven Seagal. But everything falls into place when you see the name “Die Hard” in the original - “ Die Hard" Here we agree, you can watch it twice in a row.

Warner Bros. Television

Chandler came to an interview with a new company and really wants to get this job, so he tries hard to dampen his humorous talent. He almost succeeded, although we see that he is ready to laugh at the words of a potential employer.

Chandler's suffering and the audience's laughter are completely incomprehensible to us. The point here is that duties in the original are the word “duties”, which is similar to the slang “doodies” - “poop”. Therefore, Chandler, with his specific sense of humor, is really in a difficult position - he finds it very funny. Not the most subtle joke, but still a joke.

Adapting it to the Russian language is quite difficult, so the RTR translators simply gave up on it. Paramount Comedy tried to rectify the situation. The joke didn’t get any better, but at least it’s clear what they’re talking about:

Warner Bros. Television

Rachel visits Monica and Chandler

It seems that the vector of the joke is relatively clear, but in the original Chandler said that he would “go back to reading the obituaries” (“I have to get back to reading the obituaries”). This, you see, is more like a good joke, conveying his “retired” lifestyle at that time.

Why do the off-screen audience laugh after Chandler's words? Because what he actually said was, “Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name.”

Found a mistake? Select a fragment and press Ctrl+Enter.

Dumb door: the funniest translation mistakes

Very often, you don’t even have to be a “MGIMO finisher” to understand that the translator is very “lost in translation” and has created his own reality. And she can be quite quirky!

We have collected striking examples of such parallel realities in professional translation communities and forums. Injoy!

It's scary to imagine

In translation scientific article They explain to the people that snakes used to have legs. For example, they write, they found the skeleton of a terrible fossil snake “with six long legs.” The people, who could not believe in this (not in the presence of legs as such, but in their length and number), went to look for sources - it turned out six feet long(six feet long).

Miracles of Medicine

“Investigation on the Body” is a wonderful series, I still can’t get around to watching it in the original. The other day I had fun when I heard in translation: “But before they gave injections for rabies into the stomach!”

A terrible weapon - a saucepan!

It happened in a china shop in Spain. The store sold very beautiful handmade items. On the price tag under the pots the signature was in Spanish, Italian and Russian: “ollas de fuego directo”, “pentole fuoco diretto”, “ pans for direct fire“. This is the third month I’ve been laughing, remembering... (Actually, “dishes for an open fire.”)

Horny Hotel

I work in the tourism sector. From time to time I come across translation mistakes. Two pearls of the last week were simply knocked out. About the hotel services: “they are waiting for you outside fun activities“. About the long-awaited opening of the hotel: “the general manager... said: “Every day we feel like around us excitement grows“. Yes. I imagine that on the opening day of the hotel, the excitement will reach such a level that the ceremony will turn into the final scene of the movie “Perfume”.

Virginity is dangerous

Translation of Ursula Le Guin's work: “ Married women Angya only occasionally, in extreme need, mounted winged horses, and Semli, after her marriage, also never left the walls of Hallan; and now, sitting in the high saddle, she felt like a teenager again, a wild virgin rushing with the north wind over the fields of Kirien on half-brooded winged horses.” There is a translation closer to the original, but it’s really boring: “...sitting down in the high saddle, she again felt like a girl with a violent temper.” How can a girl with a violent temper compete with a violent virgin?

Please sir, I'm pregnant

Some movie on TV. Russian subtitles: “ Pan-troglodyte. Female. She's pregnant." Well, that's it, gentlemen, cave gentry, we've arrived. Naturally, the next shot is of a chimpanzee, scientific name Pan troglodytes.

Miracle of selection

I'm watching the series NCIS, season 4, in Russian translation. The brave Israeli woman mentions the ZAKA organization. They ask her what kind of office this is, and Ziva explains: “This is Orthodox Jews, who collect parts of the bodies of the dead.” These are the religious mutants...

Help yourself

I’m reading Lois McMaster Bujold (translated), about another Miles Vorkosigan space odyssey. Description of the banquet, buffet-movie-wine-domino: “Miles walked up to the table and helped myself from the cup from which all the guests scooped wine.”

(One of the comments: “After the same Miles in one of the translations before the buffet table checked whether his tie was zipped, no “self-help” is no longer surprising.”)

Seven seasons and eggs

The main character of one of the translator’s books once put on a “seven-season” coat. Is it hard to name the seven seasons for which it was designed? And for breakfast, her family had bacon and “fried eggs”... She laughed out loud. By the way, somewhere there was such a breakfast as “bacon and eggs.” An excellent definition for an ideal husband! :)

Speaking of eggs

On NTV the news showed a story about some super-brazen robbery of a museum in London. They included a fragment of a BBC report. A policeman stands there and says: “Unfortunately, we didn’t have enough manpower to apprehend them...” That is, there weren’t enough of them. The translator has his own opinion: “Unfortunately, we didn’t have enough male power, to capture them!”

Eggplant mon amor

It turns out that you can translate the names of still lifes very playfully. For example, “Still Life with Crows” – “I still live with crows”, and “Still life with eggplant” – “ Quiet life with eggplant“.

He also sings

One Russian, who knows a little Serbian, decided to give a tour of the Hermitage to Serbian tourists. When they came to the “Peacock” clock in the Pavilion Hall, the word “peacock” in Serbian completely flew out of his head. By analogy, he organized: a peacock is a bird of the gallinaceae family - chicken, therefore, the masculine gender will be chicken. “The chicken unfurls its tail and sings,” was the result. First the Serbs fell, the next day the entire Serbian pulpit fell - the word “kurets” turned out to be the three-letter word that is written on fences.

The biggest and tastiest

A story about Hebrew courses for newcomers. The girl prepared a mini-report about olives. And “olives” in Hebrew is very similar to “members.” And so she says (and does not understand why the teacher is sliding to the floor) the following: “Members are green and dark, they grow in Spain, Greece and other southern countries... But the largest and tastiest are in Israel!”

Boy, girl...

Philip K. Dick, “The Man in the High Castle”: “He was not a soldier, not one of those gum-chewing, rude louts with greedy peasant faces who... fill cheap nightclubs whose walls are covered with photographs blondes not the first youth, pinching the nipples of flabby breasts between wrinkled fingers...” Blonde or blond - for the translator, as in that joke, there is no difference!

Van, tu, fri... Beautyful!

Lyrics: “She was wearing a dressing gown with enough leg showing through its opening at the moment to indicate she had nothing on beneath it” (Elizabeth George, “Believing the Lie”). Translation: “She was wearing a light robe, between the open flaps of which you could see enough legs- enough to understand: there is nothing under the robe.” Just wondering, how many legs is enough?

Pearl from “Home Alone 2”. Situation: one of the two bandits, a lanky one, “sticks” to the bag of a passing beauty, and she punches him in the face. The second one tells him: “Serves you right!” (“Serves you right!”) Voiceover translation: “Use your right hand!”

Tell me who your friend is

From the film. Two men walk into a bar, and one says: “For me – beer and for my friend – Jim Beam.” The translator demands: “Beers for me and my friend Jim Beam!”

A little funny

A radio DJ translated Sheryl Crow's song “All I wanna do is have some fun” twice in a row during the week as “All I want to do is a little funny.”

The dog could grow up

In an article on economics: “ Marginal dachshunds increased by 20 percent.” I’m curious where marginal dachshunds are found and what they feed them there...

(Marginal tax – marginal tax rate.)

You can't make a joke

The main character of the film, a teacher (played by Denis Hopper), enters into an intimate relationship with his student. Scene: they are driving a car, the girl tells him that she is pregnant. Hopper's hero stops the car and they get out. The teacher is shocked. The girl leans against the hood and, smiling, says: “I’m just kidding.” The translator “comforts” the hero through her lips: “I’m just giving birth to a child.”

Burnt out at work

I watched it during the broadcast of the movie “Robocop” on the first CT channel. One of the company's directors takes the head of the company hostage - in the presence of a robot policeman. RoboCop states that he cannot harm a corporate employee. After which the boss suddenly shouts out to everyone’s surprise: “You’re burned out!!!” - and then suddenly RoboCop, to everyone’s joy, kills the criminal to death, despite the instructions he just mentioned! Alas, the translators were unfamiliar with the word “fired”...

Baba with a cart

A participant in one reality show listened to Bob Marley’s song “No woman, no cry,” sang along and translated: “No woman, no tears.”

Optimistic option

A classmate was translating the text from English, and translated the words mourning and bier instead of “to groan, grieve” and “coffin” as “morning” and “beer”. And instead of mourning for the dead man lying in the coffin, it turned out that he had a hangover from beer in the morning!

Jenny Big Snake

Columbo enters a young girl's room and wants to talk to her. And then something funny happens. The girl Jenny (probably out of embarrassment at the sight of Columbo) begins, like the Indian Chingachgook, to talk about herself in the third person: “Jenny will answer.” All that remains is to add “hao!”, and you can invite Gojko Mitic to play this role. And the correct translation is much more boring, of course: “I want to ask you a few questions, Miss Jenny.” - “You can just Jenny.” (“Jenny will do.”)

So that's who you are, Dumbledore!

Michael Gambon in Top Gear: “I am Dumbledore...” Deadpan translation from Discovery Russia: “ I am a stupid door...“

Illustrations: Shutterstock

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Phenomenon linguistic polysemy often leads to funny situations and ridiculous mistakes when we try to translate a word or phrase from one language to another. However, novice translators are not afraid of the difficulty of grammatical structures, the similarity of sounds of different words, and as a result, stunning linguistic gems arise, and sometimes shocking errors, such as the following:

Muskelkater- muscular cat.

In fact, the word Muskelkater in German has nothing to do with a cat, it is the name given to the condition after a workout when the muscles ache and buzz, literally: “muscle hangover” (since Kater is not only a cat, but also a hangover).

You notice many epic mistakes of translators in films, when speech in a foreign language is heard in the background, and the translation already sounds, and you notice that the translation text conveys a completely different meaning and meaning than the original text.

German commentator at the European Championships in ballroom dancing: Der Tänzer soll die Tänzerin fair führen(The partner must lead the partner according to the rules). Translator: the partner must seduce the partner. Oooh, what a subtle play on words or the insensitive ear of the translator? After all fair fuhren means “to lead according to the rules”, and verführen- “to seduce.”

Another famous example of phonetic polysemy can be found in famous song Rammstein bands Du hast. The German text says: " Du, du hast, du hast mich". A slightly booming voice of the soloist and deliberately clear articulation, and we get: Du, du hasst, du hasst mich. Do you hate me? A play on words, it would seem, because the continuation of the phrase reveals the secret of the meaning: Du hast mich gefragt! But why then in the English version - You hate me? Rammshatain fans and translators, over to you!

In the meantime, here are a couple more examples of similar-sounding words that are important to distinguish from each other:

Bären / Beeren- bears / berries

beten/betten/betten- pray / make bed / beds (plural)

bitten/bitten- offer / ask

How many translation mistakes are based on this elementary similarity of sound!

Frucht-Bar / fruchtbar- Fruit bar / fertile (but some also manage to confuse it with furchtbar- horrible!)

So how did it turn out last year, fruitful or terrible, comrade translator?

When translating, it is very important to consider spelling and case! Otherwise, you may end up with completely absurd stories, like this one:

Der Gefangene floh. / Der gefangene Floh. / Der Gefangene Floh (Name)- The prisoner escaped. / Caught flea. / Prisoner Flo (Name).

Ich bin neugierig und gefräßig. / Ich bin neu, gierig und gefräßig. - I am curious and gluttonous. / Yanovy, greedy and gluttonous.

Here's another striking example:

Er hat in Havanna liebe Genossen,… / Er hat in Havanna Liebe genossen.

In the first case, he had friends (albeit dear to his heart) in Cuban Havana, and in the second, he enjoyed love in Havana, so there you go!

Translation of proper names and names of streets and cities is generally a separate topic for discussion. By the will of translators, Nadezhda Tereshchenko turns into Hoffnung Tereschenko, Einstein in "one stone", Brad Pitt in "Pitt board" (Brett!), being translated into German, the writer Maxim Gorky turns out to be bitter, and even a simple Russian guy Sergei may not be lucky with a translator.

When studying any foreign language a person encounters errors, for example, when using new words and grammar rules or when translating from one language to another. In our article we will look at the funniest mistakes made by English translators and find out why and how they arose. You'll see where mistakes come from and learn how to avoid them.

It is very important to be able to correctly translate from English into Russian, as well as from Russian into English. After all, we study a language in order to speak it correctly and to be correctly understood. It happens that we incorrectly perceive English words by ear or mistakenly understand their meaning. There are also curious mistakes among professionals involved in adapting English-language books and films. Sometimes mistakes happen such that later they become legendary.

There are three main reasons why translation errors occur.

1. Poorly developed listening skills

Most of the mistakes are due to the fact that sometimes translators find it difficult to hear certain words:

• “I have been there.” - “I have beans there” (correct: “I’ve been there”).

  Been /bɪn/ - past participle of the verb to be; bean /biːn/ - “beans”.

• “By the way.” - “Buy a road” (correct: “By the way”).

  By /baɪ/ - preposition “by”, “on”, “to”, “about”, “at”; buy /baɪ/ - “to buy”.

• “Stop the violence!” - “Let the violins be silent!” (correct: “Stop the violence!”)

  Violence /ˈvaɪələns/ - “violence”, “cruelty”; violins /ˌvaɪəˈlɪns/ - “violins”.

2. Polysemy of English words

One of the most characteristic features of the English language is its polysemy (multiple meanings). Many words in it have several lexical meanings, which means they can be used in completely different situations. This is where a considerable number of translation errors arise, based on the polysemy of words in the English language:

• “I saw my Honey today.” - “I drank my honey today” (correctly: “Today I saw my sweetheart”).
• “Phone seller”. - “Call the seller” (correctly: “Telephone seller”).
• “I'll be back.” - “I’ll be your back” (correctly: “I’ll be back”).

So the Terminator in the film of the same name promised to return, and not turn back. After all, you must admit, it would sound extremely stupid and incomprehensible.

3. Literal translation of idioms

In order to make our speech expressive and add imagery to it, we use idioms or phraseological units - stable figures of speech that have their own unique meaning. Idiomatic words and expressions are a rather broad and complex topic, so we have written a whole series of articles devoted to the phraseology of the English language.

Some people manage to literally translate phraseological units that exist in English, and the result is complete confusion:

• “Watch out!” - “Look outside!” (correct: “Beware!”)
• “Ladybird” - “Female bird” (correct: “Ladybug”; “Beloved” (poetic).
• “I fell in love.” - “I fell in love” (correctly: “I fell in love”).

In addition to the above reasons, one of the largest sources of errors can be considered the program Google Translate. Unfortunately, she is not the best assistant in translating from English into Russian (and vice versa), since she often translates individual words from a phrase without taking into account its entire context:

Errors in oral and written translation

As you know, translation is carried out in two forms: oral and written. Interpretation is used when conducting meetings and negotiations with foreign language interlocutors, as well as when translating various video materials. Written translation is used to translate texts, including fiction and documentation.

No matter how excellent professionals interpreters and translators are, but, as they say, even an old woman can get screwed. Even experienced specialists can sometimes mishear a word, incorrectly translate a set expression, make a typo, or choose the wrong translation of a word. Let's learn from other people's mistakes. Let's look at examples of mistakes made by English translators and try not to repeat their mistakes.

Funny blunders of interpreters

• “So long!” - “So far!”

  A touching farewell scene in one of the films ends with the phrase “So long!”, which for some unknown reason was decided to be translated as “So far!” Most often, the word long is used to indicate the length (extension) of an object or the duration (in time) of some phenomenon. In addition, the idiom so long is translated as “bye”, “farewell”, “goodbye”.

• “Calm down!” - “Go downstairs!”

  Ignorance of phrasal verbs does not exempt you from responsibility. And calm down does not translate at all as “go down.” Correctly translated it sounds like this: “Calm down!” (calm down - “calm down”, “calm down”).

• “I need you, buddy!” - “I need your body!”

  In the American comedy “Father of the Bride,” the hero says: “I need you, buddy!” Which was translated as “I need your body!” The translator of this film has a clear need to develop listening skills, because buddy (“friend”, “buddy”) and body (“body”) are completely different things.

• “Come on, old boy!” - “Come here, old boy!”

A funny oxymoron (a combination of incompatible things), which was the result of a translation mistake. Initially it should have been translated as follows: “Come here, buddy!” or “Come on, buddy!” (old boy - “buddy”, “old man”).

Perhaps, it would not be amiss for this translator to replenish his knowledge about spoken English by studying. Still, slang expressions, various abbreviations and acronyms form an integral part of modern English-speaking culture.

Funny mistakes made by translators

• “Slender throat” - “Slender neck.”

  In this case, the translation option from the synonymous range of meanings was incorrectly selected: we do not say “slender neck.” We take a dictionary and look up the word slender - “thin”, “slender”, “graceful”. Which of these will be more harmonious? That's right: “thin neck.”

• “Fur coat” - “Fur coat.”

  Here we observe the phenomenon of literal translation, although it would be more logical to use the Russian-language analogue - “fur coat”.

• “Witness box” - “Witness booth”.

  Although box in certain cases can be translated as “booth” (for example, phone box), in this case the English-language author most likely meant the place that a witness occupies to testify in court.

• “Drugstore” - “Drug warehouse”.

  In fact, this word refers to a pharmacy kiosk that is familiar to us, where they sell over-the-counter drugs and related products.

• “Wireless Internet” - “Wireless Internet”.

  The literal translation of this phrase has turned the achievement of the technological world - wireless Internet - into an obscure device.

• “Fly-fishing” - “Catching fish on the fly.”

  This translation error is easily explained. As we have already said, most words in the English language are polysemantic, and without being extremely careful, you can easily confuse a couple of meanings of the same word. As, for example, here: fly-fishing refers to the process of fishing for fish on a fly (a fly), and not catching it in free flight (fly - “to fly”). You can read more about the polysemy of words in the article “Polysemy in the English language”.

• “Max found him bleeding like a pig.” - “Max saw that he was bleeding like a pig.”

  The correct translation of the phraseological unit to bleed like a pig is “to bleed”, “to bleed heavily”. The origin of this expression is explained by a rather cruel phenomenon: when pigs are slaughtered for meat, their jugular vein is cut, which causes massive bleeding. Also, the sentence would be clearer if it were translated as "Max found him bleeding."

• “He stretched his legs.” - “He stretched out his legs.”

  A lack of understanding of what an idiom is and the use of incorrectly memorized information when translating can change the meaning of an expression beyond recognition. So, to stretch one’s legs just means “stretch your legs” (especially after sitting on something for a long time), and not the same as kick the bucket (“stretch your legs”).

• -Hullo, Mellville! - he shouts.
  - Hello, Melville! - translators are not lost.

  According to the plot of one of the books, the hero accuses a certain Melville of cheating. And although hullo is an informal version of hello - a word used when greeting someone, in this meaning (based on the context of the situation), hullo is an exclamation of surprise, attracting attention. This phrase can be translated this way: “What are you doing, Melville!”

• “I’m not a woman you can trust” was translated as a terrible and frank confession: “I’m not a woman, believe me.”
• “She is bold today!” - “She’s bald today!”

  It is unlikely that any adequate author would describe a heroine who changes her hairstyle so radically. Most likely, he meant the courage and determination that she showed in a certain situation (to be bold - “to gain courage”, “to dare”).

• “There were men and women standing at the bus station.” - “There were women and people standing at the bus stop.”

  Actually, men should be translated as “people,” however, judging by the context, the author mentions representatives of both sexes: “There were men and women at the bus stop.” Women are people too.

  No less funny blunders arise when translating from Russian to English language. Therefore, you should carefully select the translation option by checking the dictionary. For example, on a website for learning business English there was a rather annoying translator’s mistake:

• “Why did you quit your previous job?” - “Why did you live your previous job?”

  Everything would be fine, but the verb leave (“to leave”, “to leave”), implied in this issue, was misspelled (written with errors). You can develop spelling skills with the help of current tips from the article “”.

As you can see, incorrect translation sometimes leads to misunderstandings and funny incidents. Let these blunders of English translators make you smile and protect you from such mistakes. However, remember that only those who do nothing make no mistakes. Learn, dare, and you will succeed. Good luck in English!