Self-perception. Body dysmorphophobia is a distorted perception of oneself

- Who are you?

- Me? I am a photographer-stylist - coach - journalist - producer. And what?

Adequacy is a thing that seems to exist, but it may not exist. After all, where one confidently raises his thumb up, the other doubtfully twirls his index finger at his temple.

What makes the situation worse is that we live in a time of amazing freedom of self-identification. Today it is easy to assign yourself any identity and, without hesitation, move forward, calling yourself anyone. Many clearly defined professions have simply disappeared, or are rapidly disappearing before our eyes. Every year new ones appear - hybrids, derivatives.

As they say, “every gopher is an agronomist!” And there’s nothing to be done about it, and there’s no need to do it.

But it doesn’t happen without consequences. And in this situation they are “seasonal loss of contact with reality” (the phrase of Alexander Gerasimov). In other words, there is an inadequate perception of oneself and feedback from the world.

I will illustrate this problem with a small life sketch.

When I was in Cyprus during an NLP master course, a concert took place under our windows almost every evening, where singers and animators gave a performance for vacationers very out of tune and off-key. The “concert” ended only at eleven in the evening. During this “concert” I usually went for a walk along the sea and admire the sunset, or went to bed comfortably, tightly closing the balcony door and windows. So as not to hear.

It’s not that I’m an expert in music... Behind me there’s only music and Czerny’s sketches for seven years in a row. Not that I have the right to evaluate... No, of course! Everyone is free to express themselves as they wish. But my dear ears, my dear ears, are not made of iron!

But for some reason these people decided that they were musicians. Somehow they proved to themselves that they are singers.

This situation resulted in reflection for me. What then is “adequate self-perception”? What are its criteria? Is this very adequacy the key to success or an obstacle to it?

And I came to this conclusion:

No matter who we consider ourselves to be in this life, to understand whether this is true, we always need proof And confirmation. Moreover, they should always be like internal, so and external.

Internal confirmations- this is what we think about ourselves. A set of memories (the more the better) of what we successfully accomplished. Inner conviction and clarity in answering the question “who am I?”

External confirmations is what others think about us. Their opinion is about who in their understanding we are and how much we are in demand by the world as who we pretend to be. In other words, this is feedback from the world.

It happens that there is much more internal conviction than external one. For example: you consider yourself a writer, but those around you are not ready to consider you as such, no matter how hard you try.

It also happens differently when there is much more external conviction than internal conviction. That is, those around you are vying with each other to tell you that you are a writer! And that they are waiting for your books or articles. But you refuse and do not agree, and not at all out of modesty, but because this title does not correspond to your internal criteria.

Not that I'm implying your inadequacy. But you must admit: in both cases, the imbalance is obvious. And this story is clearly not about success.

So how do you understand?

By and large, quite simple turn on your powers of observation.

And this means:

• Identify internal and external confirmations for yourself that will let you know whether you have become who you want to be;
• Be attentive to feedback from both the inner and outer worlds;
• Level out imbalances in your system;
• Strive to have as much external and internal confirmation that you are who you say you are!

Because since “you called yourself a milk mushroom, get into the back” and “be responsible for the market.” So that later there would be no “excruciating pain for the years spent aimlessly” (c).

I wish you all the adequacy and accompanying success!

Self-concept is our sense of identity. This is a mental image, a person’s perception of his individuality, his abilities, knowledge, and competence. This is a kind of “self-theory”, which may very little coincide with reality. The self-concept is based on individual interpretations of ourselves based on our experiences and evaluations of other people. The self-concept includes ideas about one’s own body, a social component correlated with gender, ethnic, civic perception of oneself, as well as knowledge about oneself in comparison with other people and a sense of one’s own uniqueness.

When is the “I-concept” formed?

The self-concept is formed through the accumulation of certain experience in solving life problems and when receiving assessments from other people, and above all, parents. The role of first experience is very important for the formation of self-concept. For example, if a teenager is rejected the first time he tries to get a date, he may later perceive himself as unattractive to the opposite sex. When we have a positive experience, we become confident that we possess the personal qualities that we associate with this experience. So, for example, if Katya remembers English grammar faster and better than her brother, then in her self-concept she will consider herself competent in matters of English grammar.

What is the difference between self-concept and self-esteem?

Unlike self-concept, self-esteem– not so much an interpretation as our assessment of our own competence and value. That is, self-esteem is not only how well or poorly we do something, but also what value we attach to it within our value system.

Self-concept and self-esteem directly influence our communication style. A person with a detailed self-concept is able to better understand himself and his own needs. A person with high self-esteem is more active in communication than a person with low self-esteem.

How much do these feelings influence our behavior?

Our self-perception has a much stronger influence on our behavior than our actual abilities. For example, a person has the skills and competence to become a manager. But he will not show them when the need arises, because he believes that he does not have the ability to do so.

However, our self-esteem and self-concept rarely reflect who we really are. The gap between incorrect self-perception and reality is called incongruity.

Self concept - a sense of one's own identity.

Self-esteem is a person's overall assessment of his or her competence and worth.

Self concept and self esteem- these are two types of self-perception that greatly influence the way we communicate.

I am concept is a sense of one's own identity. It is a thought or mental image you have about your skills, abilities, knowledge, competence and personality. Self-esteem is your overall assessment of your competence and worth.

Formation and maintenance of self-concept

How do you know what your skills, abilities, knowledge, competence and personality really are? Our self-concept is based on individual interpretations of ourselves that we have given based on our experiences and the reactions of other people.

Self-perception

We form impressions of ourselves based on our own perceptions. Based on our own experiences, we develop our own perception of our skills, abilities, knowledge, competence and personality. For example, if you think that you easily strike up conversations with strangers and enjoy having casual conversations with them, you might conclude that you are unusually friendly.

We emphasize the enormous role of first experience as a specific phenomenon. For example, someone who is rejected on their first date may perceive themselves as unattractive to the opposite sex. If subsequent experiments lead to similar results, the initial perception is reinforced. Even if the first experience is not repeated immediately, it may likely take more than one successful attempt to change the initial perception.

When we have a positive experience, we are more likely to believe that we have the personal characteristics that we associate with that experience, and these characteristics become part of our overall self-image. Thus, if Sonya quickly debugs computer programs that Jackie struggles with, she is most likely to consider herself a “competent problem solver” in her self-concept. Her positive experiences confirm that she has certain skills, hence this characteristic is reinforced as part of her self-concept.

Other people's reactions

In addition to our perception of ourselves, our self-concept is shaped and supported by how other people react to us. For example, if during a brainstorming session one of the employees said: "You're a really creative thinker"- you may decide that these words are the best fit for your image. Such comments have a special power to influence self-perception if you respect the person who complimented you. These remarks are more effective if made immediately after the fact that caused them. You use other people's statements to confirm your opinion of yourself. They can confirm, strengthen or change our perception of who and what we are.

Some people have a very detailed self-concept, they can describe a large number of skills, abilities, knowledge on many issues and personal qualities that they possess. The richer our self-concept, the better we know and understand who we are, and the better we can cope with the difficulties that arise when interacting with people.

Our self-concept begins to form early in life, and the information we receive from our family changes our self-concept. Family members should feel responsible for developing, through their words and actions, a correct and strong self-concept in other family members.

For example, when mom says: “Roberto, your room looks clean. You are a very organized boy.", or the brother remarks: “Kisha, by lending Tomika five dollars, you really helped her out. You are very generous", - this will help Roberto or Kisha realize an important part of their individuality.

Unfortunately, in many families their members harm the self-image of others, especially the development of the self-concept in children. It is very harmful to blame, give nicknames and constantly pay attention to the shortcomings of others. When the father shouts: “Terry, you are so stupid! If you had just thought a little, this wouldn't have happened.", he destroys his son's faith in his mental abilities. When big sister teases: "Hey Dumbo, how many times do I have to tell you, you're too clumsy to be a ballerina", she destroys her sister’s perception of grace.

Developing and maintaining self-esteem

Recall that self-esteem, or our overall assessment of our competence and personal worth, is our positive or negative assessment of the self-concept. Note to yourself that having high self-esteem is not the same as feeling completely fine; you still need to have a reason for it. Our assessment of personal worth is based on our values ​​and is continually refined through experience. From Mruk's point of view, self-esteem is not only how well or poorly you do something (my concept), but also what meaning we ourselves attach to our actions or how we evaluate whether we are doing something well or badly.

For example, part of Fred's self-concept is the belief that he is physically strong. But if Fred does not consider the physical strength or other qualities he possesses to be worthy, then he will not have high self-esteem. Mruk believes that high self-esteem is determined by the perception of existing qualities and the belief that these qualities are valuable.

When we successfully use our skills, abilities, knowledge or personal qualities in the pursuit of becoming a worthy person, we increase self-esteem. When we fail to use our skills, abilities, knowledge, competence or personal qualities, or when we use them to achieve unseemly goals, we lose self-esteem.

Correctness of self-concept and self-esteem

The accuracy of our self-concept and self-esteem depends on the accuracy of our own perceptions and on how we respond to others' perceptions of us.

We have all experienced success and failure, and we have all heard compliments and criticism addressed to us. If we place too much emphasis on successful experiences and positive outcomes, our self-concept can become exaggerated and our self-esteem becomes inflated. If we nevertheless take failures personally and have a low opinion of our successes, or if we long remember criticism received, our self-image may not be formed and our self-esteem may be low. In neither case will our self-concept and self-esteem accurately reflect who we are.

Incongruence is a gap between an incorrect perception of oneself and reality.

Incongruity- this is the gap between the incorrect perception of oneself and reality. This becomes a problem because our perceptions of ourselves are likely to have a greater impact on our behavior than our actual abilities.

For example, Sean may actually have all the skills, abilities, knowledge, competence and personal qualities to be a successful leader, but if he does not believe that he has these qualities, he will not take the step when the need for a leader arises. Unfortunately, individuals tend to reinforce their perception of themselves by changing their behavior in accordance with their self-concept. Thus, people with high self-esteem tend to behave in a way that demonstrates greater confidence, while people with low self-esteem tend to behave in a way that reinforces the low self-esteem that they are in the grip of. The inaccuracy of a distorted self-image is reinforced through self-fulfilling prophecies and through message filtering.

Self-fulfilling prophecies

Self-fulfilling prophecies are events that occur as a result of one's own or others' predictions, expectations, or conversations.

Self-fulfilling prophecies are the predictions you make about yourself. We often predict success or failure for ourselves. For example, Stefan sees himself as easy-going and able to recognize people without effort, and he says: "I'm going to have fun at the party tonight.". As a result of his positive self-awareness, he expects to meet new people, make some new connections, and have fun. In contrast, Arthur sees himself as lacking the skills to create new relationships, and he says: “I doubt I know anyone here. I'm in for a completely disgusting evening.". Because he is afraid of meeting new people, he feels awkward when introduced to someone and, as he predicted, spends his time standing alone against the wall and dreaming of when he can leave.

Self-esteem has an important influence on the predictions people make. For example, people with positive self-esteem evaluate success positively and confidently predict that they can repeat it. People with low self-esteem attribute their success to luck and predict that they will not be able to repeat it.

The predictions of others can also influence your actions. For example, when teachers behave as if their students are capable, the students buy into the expectations and succeed. In the same way, when professors behave as if their students are untalented, the latter may “sink” into the prediction imposed on them. Thus, when we talk to others, we have the opportunity to influence their future behavior.

Message filtering

Our perception of ourselves can also be distorted when we filter what others say. Even if we “hear” messages correctly (that is, our ears receive the messages and our brain records them), we do not perceive them in the same way. For example, let's say you've created a lesson plan for your student group. Someone says that you are a good organizer. You may not hear this comment, you can ignore it or reply: "Anyone can do it - it's not difficult". If you really think you're a good organizer, you'll take note of the compliment and might even enhance it with a line like, " Thank you, I worked hard preparing for the class, but it paid off. The decision just came into hand.”

Changing self concept and self esteem

Self concept and self esteem- stable characteristics, but they can change. In his analysis of some other studies, Christopher Mruk found that self-esteem can increase. He reports: “Ultimately, self-esteem grows as a result of hard work and practice, practice, practice - it is an inevitable existential fact.”

Introducing yourself

A role is a pattern of acquired behaviors that people use to achieve expected goals in a particular situation.

We also present our self-image and self-worth to others through the various roles we play. A role is a pattern of acquired behaviors that people use to achieve expected goals in a particular situation. For example, during the day you can play the roles of "student", "sibling" and "salesperson".

The roles we fill may be determined by our own needs, the relationships we create, the cultural expectations that influence us, the choice of groups of which we would like to be members, and our own conscious decisions. For example, if you were the eldest child in a large family, your parents may have assigned you the role of big brother, which assigned you the functions of disciplining, looking after siblings, or housekeeping functions, depending on how they envisioned family relationships. Or if your peers see you as a “clown,” you may continue to play that role, laughing and telling funny stories, even though you actually feel that this role has been forced on you and it only brings you harm. Each of us plays many roles every day, and we find within ourselves different skills and attributes to fulfill those roles. In each new situation, we can try a role that is familiar to us or try to play a new one.

Self concept, self-esteem and communication

Our self-concept and self-esteem influence the correct understanding of ourselves. They also influence our communication, helping us overcome our internal contradictions and influencing our communication style.

Self-perception reduces internal message competition.

When we have to make a decision, we can become especially aware of the different and often mutually exclusive “voices” in our head. Listen to Corey's monologue upon his return from his job interview.

Corey: I think I made a very good impression on the Deputy Director of Human Resources - I think so because she talked to me for a long time. Well, she talked to me, but maybe she just wanted to be nice. It's her job after all. No, then she wouldn't waste so much time on me. And she just beamed when I told her about my internship at the Federation. Yes, she said she was interested in the experience I had at my internship. By talking about this, she made it clear to me that this might affect her attitude towards me as a future employee.

If Corey is confident in himself, he will probably conclude that the interview was sincere and will be calm about it. But if he considers himself unworthy and thinks that he does not have the necessary skills and abilities to do the job well, he will probably listen more to his negative assessments of the situation and conclude that he has no chance of getting the job.

Self-perception influences how we talk about ourselves with others

If we think highly of ourselves, we are more likely to communicate with confidence. For example, people with a strong self-concept and high self-esteem tend to encourage others to believe in their success. Likewise, people with a healthy self-image tend to defend their point of view even when faced with counterarguments. If we have low self-esteem, we tend to communicate insecurely, understating our accomplishments.

Why do some people put themselves down despite their achievements? People who have low self-esteem are likely to be unsure of the value of their contributions and expect negative evaluation from others. As a result, it may be that people with a low self-concept or low self-esteem find it less painful to put themselves down than to hear criticism from others. To anticipate others' likely discussion of their failures, they do so first.

Cultural and gender differences

Culture influences perception and influences people's self-image. The majority of American citizens adhere to the so-called “Western view of themselves.” They say that personality is an independent being with certain abilities, traits, motives and values ​​and that all these factors determine behavior. Moreover, people with this Western perspective view the individual as the basic social unit. In Western culture, a positive self-concept and self-esteem are built on values ​​such as independence and the discovery and expression of the uniqueness of each person.

To this day, people of different cultures use different values ​​to build a positive self-concept and self-esteem. In many Eastern cultures, the family, rather than the individual, is the smallest social unit. Such cultures do not accept or value independence; rather, interdependence between people is valued. A confident individualist in Western culture may view these qualities as strengths and develop positive self-esteem. A person belonging to an Eastern culture and possessing the same qualities will view them as shortcomings and will develop a negative self-esteem.

In Western cultures, children will value their personal qualities that are associated with independence, developing high self-esteem on this basis. In any Eastern culture, they strive to develop interdependence in a child. Such children will increase their self-esteem when they cultivate cooperation, helping, and self-sacrifice.

Similarly, men and women are socialized to view themselves differently and judge themselves by whether their behavior is consistent with what is expected of their gender in their culture. If a woman is expected to take care of the home and family, then those women who find the skills, abilities, knowledge, competence and personal qualities necessary to do this will enrich the self-concept and increase self-esteem. But women who don't possess these qualities are likely to be less confident and more likely to have low self-esteem.

Illusory reality is human self-perception, peace. In connection with the transition to a new level of development, a division of realities began to occur on Earth. Many people don't realize it, but they feel it. The most striking example of separation is when you are talking to a person, but he does not understand you, does not hear you, speaks as if you are not there.

A person, rising in his development, increases the high frequencies in himself, and rises higher from the 1st illusory world. He goes through an interesting period in his life, somewhere hesitating and doubting his changes. Changes from levels 1 to 9 self-perception and the surrounding world. An inner calm appears inside, from which a Man thinks and speaks differently. Light frequencies also change, and only firmness and steadfastness in the decision to move towards changes will help you quickly pass this path as a most interesting experience for the Soul.

Realities are separated so that people do not come into contact with each other. By making oneself, a Man goes to higher vibrational levels.

There are 9 illusory realities. Most people on Earth are in the 1-2 illusory world.

Characteristics of people of the 1st-4th illusory reality and perception of oneself at these levels.

• they talk a lot
• have fears
• there are energies of struggle
• The soul screams in despair
• On the outside there is a smile, but on the inside there is sin: fear of death of oneself, children, “it won’t work out,” envy, condemnation, disbelief, the need to prove something to someone, etc.

Corner self-perception expands as you move up the illusory ladder. In reality 6-7, awareness increases, there is a quick response to one’s negative manifestations, their rapid transformation, and feeling increases. Gratitude makes it possible to quickly climb higher on the ladder of illusory reality.

From the 9th illusory world onwards, Man is in high frequencies. Such people lack emotionality, animal consciousness, and dependence on the mind, but at the same time they have a very developed sensual consciousness, which allows them to communicate directly with the Creator. Inside there is a smile, joy, calmness, inner lightness, silence, constant contemplation, and on the outside everything you want.

High-frequency energies are pouring onto the Earth, bringing rapid changes in Man on Earth. These changes occur differently for everyone, depending on pollution and energy potential. The separation of realities is lived by the Earth itself. People don't even know about it.

Don’t put off your own transformation, no one will do it for you.

Perceiving yourself through the eyes of others