Today we will talk about how they differ high and low personal self-esteem. After reading this article, you will find out what it is personality self-esteem, why it is needed, what main functions it performs, what are the main signs and reasons for low and high self-esteem, and much other interesting and useful information on this topic. We will need all this in order to consider in the next article how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence. So, first things first.
What is personal self-esteem?
Let's start with a definition. Self-esteem is a person’s opinion about himself, about his own personality, its strengths and weaknesses, about his physical capabilities and spiritual qualities, about his abilities and skills, about his appearance, comparing himself with other people, understanding himself against the background of others.
In the modern world, adequate self-esteem and self-confidence are one of the key factors in any business.
If a person does not have self-confidence, he will not be able to convince his interlocutor of something, he will not be able to lead other people, therefore, in general, it will be much more difficult for him to follow the intended path.
Personal self-esteem plays a huge role in human development and achievement. Without adequate self-esteem, a person is unlikely to achieve success in business, build a career, be happy in his personal life, or generally achieve anything.
Functions of self-esteem.
Psychologists identify 3 main functions of personality self-esteem:
- Protective function. Personal self-esteem forms the degree of a person’s independence from other people’s opinions, and self-confidence makes it possible to feel relatively protected from the influence of any external unfavorable factors.
- Regulatory function. Self-esteem gives a person the opportunity to make choices and regulate his life path: to independently set and follow his own goals, and not someone else’s.
- Developmental function. Thanks to self-esteem, a person develops and improves, since it acts as a kind of motivating factor for.
Low, high and inflated self-esteem.
You can often hear such expressions as “adequate self-esteem”, “low or low self-esteem”, “high self-esteem”, “inflated self-esteem”. Let's figure out what they mean in simple words.
Low self-esteem (low self-esteem)- this is giving yourself, your personality, lower ratings and characteristics than they really are.
Inflated self-esteem- This is the perception of one’s own personality at a higher level compared to reality.
Respectively, adequate, ideal, high self-esteem- this is the most objective and realistic assessment of one’s own personality, perceiving it as it is: no better and no worse.
Both low and high self-esteem prevent a person from developing, but this manifests itself in different ways. In fact, there are very few people with adequate, high (but not inflated!) self-esteem. Numerous studies by psychologists have proven that most often people have low self-esteem, which is one of the most serious reasons for their failures in life. Including, in relation to the theme of the site Financial Genius - and low level. Therefore, it is very important for people who have low self-esteem to think about increasing their self-esteem, and not just think about it, but begin to act in this direction.
Signs of low self-esteem.
Since it is always difficult for a person to objectively evaluate himself, let's look at the characteristic signs that indicate that he has low self-esteem.
- Constant dissatisfaction with yourself, your work, family, life in general;
- Constant self-criticism and soul-searching;
- Increased sensitivity to criticism and comments from other people, strong reaction to criticism;
- Strong dependence on the opinions of others;
- The desire to act in accordance with common stereotypes, the search for approval from others, the desire to please everyone, the desire to justify one’s actions to others;
- Indecisiveness, fear of making mistakes, severe frustration and feelings after making a mistake;
- A strong feeling of jealousy, especially without reason;
- A strong feeling of envy of the successes, achievements, and lives of other people;
- Constant grievances, incl. over trifles;
- Dissatisfaction with your appearance;
- Hostile attitude towards the surrounding world (everyone around is an enemy);
- Constant feeling of fear and defensive position;
- A pronounced pessimistic attitude.
The more of these signs you find in yourself, the more you should think about how to increase your self-esteem and gain self-confidence.
Problems and difficulties arise in the life of absolutely any person, but the difference in their perception is important. A person with low self-esteem perceives all temporary problems as permanent, as his “hard fate,” and therefore is always negative and pessimistic. As a result, all this can even cause serious mental disorders. While a person with adequate self-esteem strives to overcome emerging difficulties and does everything possible for this.
Why do you need high self-esteem?
Now let's look again at why adequate, high self-esteem is so important. Many people have a stereotypical opinion that high self-esteem is bad, that you need to “know your place and sit and keep a low profile.” And such a belief, by the way, is also one of the signs of low self-esteem.
In fact, low self-esteem of an individual gives rise to a lot of problems, causes the development of complexes and even mental disorders, and most importantly, it greatly hinders a person’s development and movement forward. Simply because he is not sure that he can go through any specific steps. Such people “go with the flow,” and the main thing for them is that no one bothers them.
High self-esteem, on the contrary, opens the way to achievements, to new heights, new areas of activity.
There is one more important point: if a person has low self-esteem, other people will never rate him highly (and this, as you remember, is important for him!). While a person with high self-esteem is always known and respected, his opinion is valued and listened to.
People will begin to appreciate and respect you only when you have adequate high self-esteem and self-confidence. Believe in yourself and then others will believe in you!
Signs of high self-esteem.
Now, by analogy, let's highlight the main signs that you have high self-esteem, you were able to raise it, or it was like that (in this case, you are great!).
- You are always confident in yourself, your strengths and capabilities;
- You accept yourself as you are;
- You are not afraid to make mistakes, you learn from them, perceive them as experience, and move on;
- You are calm when you are criticized, you distinguish between constructive and destructive criticism;
- You easily come into contact and find a common language with different people, are not afraid of communication;
- You always have your own point of view on any issues;
- You strive for self-development and self-improvement;
- You tend to achieve success in your endeavors.
Reasons for low self-esteem.
To talk about how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence, it is also necessary to know the causes of low self-esteem, since eliminating the cause is more effective than dealing with the consequences. Interestingly, these reasons can be of a very different nature, ranging from genetic predisposition, ending with the social environment, the conditions in which a person grows and develops. Let's look at them.
Reason 1. Wrong upbringing. For many people, parents raised them only with the “whip”, constantly scolding them, comparing them unfavorably with other children. Naturally, such a child develops low self-esteem from childhood: he cannot do anything, he is bad, he is a loser, others are better.
Reason 2. A series of failures or psychological trauma. It happens that a person often has failures, and especially when there are many of them, and they come in succession, he begins to perceive this as a pattern, his own weakness, his own powerlessness. Or it could be one, but very significant event, which psychologists call “psychological trauma.” This is especially pronounced, again, in children and adolescents (it is at an early age that personal self-esteem is primarily formed). Accordingly, a person develops low self-esteem: he cannot be confident in himself and “programs” himself in advance for failure.
Reason 3. Lack of life goals. A very serious cause of low self-esteem. If a person does not have clearly expressed ones, he has nothing to strive for, there is no need to develop. Such a person leads a passive lifestyle, without developing his personal qualities. He doesn’t dream, doesn’t care about his appearance or his well-being, and such a person often has not just low self-esteem, but non-existent self-esteem.
Reason 4. Environment and social environment. The formation of a person’s self-esteem is greatly influenced by the environment in which a person is located. If he grows and develops among amorphous people without goals, floating with the flow, he himself will most likely be the same, low self-esteem is guaranteed. But if he is surrounded by ambitious, constantly developing and successful people who are good role models, a person will strive to keep up with them, and he is more likely to develop adequate, high self-esteem.
Reason 5. Problems with appearance or health. And finally, another significant reason for low self-esteem is the presence of certain defects in appearance or visible health problems (excess weight, poor vision, etc.). Again, from an early age, such people may be subject to ridicule and insults, so they often develop low self-esteem, which hinders throughout adult life.
Now you have a certain idea of what personal self-esteem is, how low and high self-esteem differ, what are their signs and causes. And in the next article we will talk about how to raise your self-esteem if it is low.
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Self-esteem is an individual’s assessment of himself, his capabilities, qualities and place among other people.
With the help of self-esteem, the behavior of an individual is regulated. A person compares what he does with what is expected of him.
Types of self-esteem:
1) positive, negative, contradictory; 2) high or low;
3) true, false, fictitious, distorted;
4) adequate, inadequate (inadequately overestimated or inadequately underestimated).
Self-esteem is the result of the projection of the “real self” onto the “ideal self.”
In addition to self-esteem, it is worth noting the group’s assessment of the individual and the expected assessment. They can all disagree with each other, especially in children's groups.
According to K. Rogers, high self-esteem, “looking ahead” of the individual’s real capabilities, is necessary for personal growth. Numerous domestic studies have shown that only adequate self-esteem allows an individual to live without internal conflicts, and inadequate self-esteem is a source of disappointment and increased personal anxiety.
There are 2 components in the structure of self-esteem:
1) cognitive – knowledge about oneself, arguments, analysis, comparison, synthesis, judgment, inference;
2) emotional – attitude towards oneself, satisfaction, repentance, approval.
Self-esteem is expressed in 2 forms - general and private. She can be either more or less categorical (I think, probably, it seems so to me, etc.).
Self-esteem is closely related to the level of aspirations.
The level of aspiration is the desired level of self-esteem of an individual, manifested in the degree of difficulty of the goal that the individual sets for himself.
The desire to increase self-esteem manifests itself in two trends:
1) the desire to increase aspirations in order to experience maximum success;
2) lower your expectations to avoid failure.
A person sets the level of his aspirations somewhere between too difficult and too easy tasks and goals in such a way as to maintain his self-esteem at the proper height.
William James' formula: Self-esteem = Success / Pretension
According to the formula for increasing self-esteem, you can choose two ways:
1) increasing success or 2) reducing claims.
One should distinguish between self-respect - an attitude towards oneself as if from the outside, conditioned by some of my real merits or shortcomings, and self-acceptance - a direct emotional attitude towards oneself, independent of whether there are any traits in me that explain this attitude. All these features of self-attitude, which leave a huge imprint on a person’s entire life, are formed by parental education. Positive self-esteem, which lies at the basis of inner freedom, is created by love, and negative self-esteem by dislike. Self-attitude is a feedback mechanism.
Levels of self-realization (Korostyleva L.A.).
1) primitive performing;
2) individual performing;
3) the level of implementation of roles and norms in society (with elements of spiritual and personal growth);
4) meaningful life and value realization (realization of essential authenticity).
The way a person treats himself “programs” him for further achievements. Self-perception plays a big role in everyone's life, so it should not be overlooked. Basic knowledge about this will not harm anyone, and, most likely, will even be beneficial. They will help highlight problematic issues and, if possible, correct them. The article talks about the concept of self-esteem, its formation, the possibility of change, the types and levels distinguished.
What is self-esteem
Self-esteem is the level of self-acceptance, the ability to critically analyze one's own capabilities. It is inextricably linked with self-love. A person with a bunch of complexes will not be able to experience this feeling until he gets rid of them. Self-esteem affects how easy it is for an individual to communicate with others, achieve goals, and develop. Those who have it too low experience serious difficulties in all areas.
The problem with low self-esteem is that its owners refuse to change. They are often sure that this attitude towards themselves will last for the rest of their lives. This is a misconception, because self-perception is influenced by many factors; it cannot be the same throughout life.
How self-esteem is formed
Its foundations are laid in childhood. After infancy, the child begins to understand the essence of comparisons, and self-esteem appears in his system of concepts. Parents should be careful with statements addressed to their son or daughter. Phrases like “Alina is a better student in all subjects” or “but Dima is already learning a second language by the time he is fourteen” do not motivate children. Rather, such expressions make them hate both Alina and Dima, and sometimes even their parents, who deal a blow to their self-esteem. A child/teenager should not think that he needs to earn the love of loved ones or try to outpace his peers in a contrived race. He needs, first of all, support and faith. On the contrary, praising also does not lead to the formation of an adequate assessment.
Adults who inspire a child to believe that he is the most talented, and that others are no match for him, are doing a disservice. Brought up on praise, even after puberty, incapable of self-criticism. This prevents them from developing and eradicating their own shortcomings. Some of those who at one time received an “overdose” of compliments and flattery become downtrodden and unsociable in adulthood. This pattern of behavior is the result of a combination of parental actions and harsh reality. Understanding that he is not unique in his own uniqueness leads a person to depression and other mental disorders.
In addition, a number of other factors influence self-esteem, including environment(classmates, classmates, work colleagues, relatives), financial situation, education. Many complexes come from school. Victims of bullying spend a long time coping with their fears and are susceptible to phobias for the rest of their lives. Comparing one’s own financial situation with the income of more successful people greatly affects self-esteem. But self-evaluation is not static; it changes throughout life, the level depends, among other things, on the efforts of its owner.
Types of self-esteem
There are three main types. Their names are used not only in psychology, but also in everyday life. You can often hear phrases like “he has inadequate self-esteem.” Classification helps to understand how individuals evaluate themselves, how close their opinion is to objectivity.
Adequate self-esteem- a type that, unfortunately, is characteristic of a minority of people. Its owners know how to treat their abilities sensibly and do not deny shortcomings, trying to get rid of them. In addition, the emphasis is on strengths that are actively developing. Few are capable of adequate self-criticism. Often one can observe two extremes - either too much self-flagellation, or inflated self-esteem.
Radical qualities are signs of the second type of self-esteem, which is usually called distorted(inadequate). Its formation is almost always the result of complexes, obvious or hidden. Often behind high self-esteem lies uncertainty and attempts to appear better in the eyes of others. The understated one is distinguished by the fact that its owner directly broadcasts his own complexes - he talks about them to others, behaves accordingly (stiffness, tightness, difficulties in communication).
There is another type that is common to the majority - mixed. It means that at certain moments in life a person treats himself differently. He is able to adequately evaluate actions/deeds, devote time to excessive self-criticism, and sometimes overestimate his own skills. Unfortunately, most people fail to maintain balance, and such “fluctuations” are fraught with mental problems.
Levels of self-esteem
There are three main levels, as well as types. They demonstrate a degree of self-love, an ability to see both positive and negative traits, and an affinity for balance. The levels are related to the species, but there are still differences, which will be discussed further.
Low
The first one, the least loved by everyone. They try to get rid of low self-esteem in every possible way. There are thousands of techniques that tell you how to deal with complexes, and some of them are effective. Level refers to distorted perception; it is characterized by an inability to praise oneself, underestimation of one's merits, a high level of anxiety, and constant comparisons with others who are more successful. It is easy to offend those who have problems with self-esteem - it is enough to simply joke about them or hint at a lack of appearance/knowledge. Low self-esteem creates a lot of inconvenience. It's really worth fighting.
Normal
One of the indicators that a person does not have serious mental health problems. He knows how to listen to his inner voice, analyzes his own mistakes, and is able to make jokes about himself. At the same time, such a person will not allow her to be insulted, forced to do useless, tedious work, or have her rights ignored. This level is worth striving for, because it is recognized as optimal.
High
The third level is inherent to those who focus on their strengths, overlooking their shortcomings. It is no less dangerous than low. This type of self-perception is not adequate. People with high self-esteem easily ignore constructive criticism. It is difficult for them to leave their comfort zone; they resist it with all their might. Rigidity of beliefs, rejection of others is a big problem. Its danger also lies in the difficulty of recognition. It is believed that someone who vehemently defends his position is strong, confident, and reliable. But there is also the other side of the coin: unshakable beliefs hinder development and prevent the opportunity to learn and try something new.
As a result- self-esteem directly depends on living conditions, upbringing and environment. However, unfavorable factors are not a reason to give up on yourself. With a strong desire, one’s attitude towards oneself can be successfully adjusted, and there are many examples of downtrodden, indecisive men and women turning into liberated, strong individuals. It all starts with awareness of problems, the desire to change for the better and, of course, effort.
Self-esteem of personality is part of those processes that form human self-awareness. With self-esteem, a person tries to evaluate his qualities, properties and capabilities. This is done through introspection, introspection, self-report, and also through continuous comparison of oneself with other people with whom a person has to be in direct contact.
Personal self-esteem is not a simple satisfaction of genetically determined curiosity, so characteristic of our distant ancestor (according to Darwin). The driving motive here is the motive of self-improvement, a healthy sense of self-esteem and the desire for success. Self-esteem not only makes it possible to see the present “I”, but also to link it with your past and future. After all, on the one hand, the formation of self-esteem takes place in the early years. On the other hand, self-esteem is one of the most stable personality characteristics. Therefore, it allows a person to consider the roots of his weaknesses and strengths, make sure of their objectivity and find more adequate models of his behavior in various everyday situations. According to T. Mann, a person who knows himself becomes a different person.
The structure of self-esteem has two components:- cognitive, reflecting everything that an individual has learned about himself from various sources of information; - emotional, expressing one’s own attitude towards various aspects of one’s personality (character traits, behavior, habits, etc.).
American psychologist W. James (1842 - 1910) proposed a formula for self-esteem:
Self-esteem = Success / Level of aspiration
The level of aspiration is the level that an individual strives to achieve in various spheres of life (career, status, well-being, etc.), the ideal goal of his future actions. Success is the fact of achieving certain results, fulfilling a certain program of actions that reflect the level of aspirations. The formula shows that self-esteem can be increased either by reducing the level of aspirations or by increasing the effectiveness of one’s actions.
Personal self-esteem can be adequate, overestimated or underestimated. With strong deviations from adequate self-esteem, a person may experience psychological discomfort and internal conflicts. The saddest thing is that the person himself often does not realize the true causes of these phenomena and looks for reasons outside himself.
With clearly inflated self-esteem, a person:
Acquires a superiority complex (“I’m the most correct”), or a complex of two-year-old children (“I’m the best”);
Has an idealized idea of himself, of his abilities and capabilities, of his significance for the business and for the people around him (trying to live according to this ideal “I”, he often creates unjustified friction with other people; after all, as F. La Rochefoucauld said, there is no better way to get into trouble in life, than to consider yourself better than others);
Ignores personal failures for the sake of maintaining his psychological comfort, maintaining his usual high self-esteem; pushes away everything that interferes with the existing image of oneself;
Interprets his weaknesses as strengths, passing off ordinary aggressiveness and stubbornness as will and determination;
Becomes inaccessible to others, “mentally deaf”, loses feedback from others, does not listen to other people’s opinions;
External, he associates his failure with external factors, other people’s machinations, intrigues, circumstances - with anything, but not with his own mistakes;
He treats critical assessment of himself by others with obvious distrust, attributing all this to nit-picking and envy;
As a rule, he sets impossible goals for himself;
Has a level of aspirations that exceeds his real capabilities;
Easily acquires such traits as arrogance, arrogance, striving for superiority, rudeness, aggressiveness, rigidity, and quarrelsomeness;
He behaves in a markedly independent manner, which is perceived by others as arrogance and disdain (hence the hidden or obvious negative attitude towards him);
Subject to persecution by neurotic and even hysterical manifestations (“I am more capable, smarter, more practical, more beautiful, kinder than most people, but I am the most unfortunate and unlucky”);
We predict that he has stable standards of his behavior;
Has a characteristic appearance: straight posture, high head position, direct and steady gaze, commanding notes in his voice.
With clearly low self-esteem, a person:
Has a predominantly anxious, stuck, pedantic type of character accentuation, which constitutes the psychological basis of such self-esteem;
As a rule, unsure of himself, shy, indecisive, overly cautious;
Acutely needs the support and approval of others, depends on them;
Conformal, easily influenced by other people, thoughtlessly following their lead;
Suffering from an inferiority complex, he strives to assert himself, to realize himself (sometimes at any cost, which leads him to being indiscriminate in the means of achieving his goals), feverishly to make up for lost time, to prove to everyone and, above all, to himself, his importance, that he is worth something;
Sets lower goals for himself than he can achieve;
Often he “disappears” into his troubles and failures, exaggerating their role in his life;
Too demanding of himself and others, excessively self-critical, which often leads to isolation, envy, suspicion, vindictiveness and even cruelty;
Often becomes boring, annoying others with little things, causing conflicts both in the family and at work;
It has a characteristic appearance: the head is slightly pulled into the shoulders, the gait is hesitant, as if insinuating, and when speaking, the eyes often look away to the side.
The adequacy of self-esteem is determined by the relationship between two opposing mental processes in a person:
Cognitive, promoting adequacy;
Protective, acting in the opposite direction to reality.
Self-esteem is also related to self-esteem. You can’t run away from yourself and you can’t hide, so each of us must see ourselves from the outside: who am I; what others expect from me; where our interests coincide and diverge. Self-respecting people also have their own line of behavior: they are balanced, non-aggressive, independent.
