We don't see reality, we see our version of reality.

One married couple moved to live in a new apartment.

In the morning, as soon as she woke up, the wife looked out the window and saw a neighbor who was hanging out washed clothes to dry.

“Look at how dirty her laundry is,” she told her husband.

But he was reading the newspaper and did not pay any attention to it.

- She probably has bad soap, or she doesn’t know how to do laundry at all. We should teach her.

And so, every time the neighbor hung out the laundry, the wife was surprised at how dirty it was.

One fine morning, looking out the window, she screamed:

- ABOUT! Today the laundry is clean! Probably learned how to do laundry!

“No,” said the husband, “I just got up early today and washed the window.”

The gist of the story is this: what we see depends on the cleanliness of the window through which we look.

Your beliefs are a sullied lens: they cloud everything you see.

This is how you become a prisoner of what you believe.

We see what we believe

“Compelling storytelling creates the illusion of inevitability.” – Daniel Kahneman

The brain is like a dirty window; it filters what we “see” to suit our beliefs.

Confirmation bias (accepting information that matches our beliefs and rejecting information that contradicts them) is a phenomenon in which the brain manipulates your perceptions.

“If there is something you really want to believe in, then that is what needs to be questioned the most.” – Penn Jillette

Of the many types of fallacious thinking, confirmation bias is the most misleading. It makes people feel smarter than they actually are and underestimate any logic that contradicts their own.

Neuroscientist Tali Sharot used hot topic– climate change – to demonstrate how beliefs distort our vision.

The study found that people who doubt that at the moment Human-induced climate change is occurring and exhibits a form of asymmetrical renewal.

They change their beliefs in response to unexpected good news (average temperature does not rise as quickly as expected) and are unable to do so in response to unexpected bad news.

Conversely, people who strongly believe in anthropogenic climate change change their beliefs in response to unexpected bad news much more often than in response to unexpected good news.

Your beliefs lead you to take sides rather than “see” other possibilities.

The study found that when you are exposed to different “scientific evidence,” it increases polarization.

What you believe makes you a prisoner

“Your beliefs will be the light that illuminates what you see, but they will not be what you see, and they will not be a substitute for vision.” – Flannery O'Connor

What you believe is not the problem; being blinded by your beliefs is the problem. Your beliefs influence your perceptions. Instead of accepting reality, you wage war on it.

How?

1. We don't know what we don't know

Psychologists Leonid Rosenblit and Frank Keil coined the term “delusion of explanatory depth” in 2002 to clarify how people manage to believe they know more than they actually do.

During the study, participants felt very confident about understanding how they worked various items– sewing machine, crossbow, go mobile phone. Later, when they were asked to write detailed explanations how each subject performed, the knowledge rating plummeted.

“Most people think they understand the world much better and more deeply than they actually do,” psychologists said.

2. We focus on other people's shortcomings (not our own)

Remember the story about dirty windows?

When things don't turn out the way we expect, we think it's the other person's fault.

Or, in other words, it's easier to think that someone else doesn't know how to do laundry than to take care of their dirty windows.

3. Ignorance leads to bad decisions.

As the results showed, participants who did not know where Ukraine actually was, as a rule, were in favor of military intervention. Ignorance clouds our judgment.

As cognitive scientists Stephen Sloman and Philip Fernbach explained: “ Strong feelings in relation to problems do not arise from deep understanding.”

4. We believe in placebos

The idea that something will work just because you believe in it is one of the biggest dilemmas modern science. Mark Crislip, Doctor medical sciences, says, “The placebo effect regarding pain is simple example cognitive behavioral therapy; the pain remains the same, the emotional response changes.”

A placebo can act as a psychological boost, but it can also turn into addiction or denial of what is causing real pain.

5. We don't know how to accept facts.

Outright denial is a form of confirmation bias, especially when it comes to deeply held beliefs such as religion.

Galileo was condemned by the Catholic Church for "suspicion of heresy" when he declared that the Earth revolved around the Sun, and not vice versa, as written in the Bible.

When does it occur new theory, the typical reaction is to reject it. Instead of asking the question "Is it possible?", most people focus on "It's impossible!"

6. Beliefs fuel prejudices.

Stereotypes are based on equivalent beliefs.

We believe that people who fall into a certain group are the same and that they behave in the same way as “others.”

"Women are bad drivers." "All black guys are criminals." "Immigrants are dangerous." Prejudices form generalizations without analyzing the facts.

People resort to exceptions to the norm to confirm their rules.

How to get rid of limiting beliefs

“Question a man's beliefs and you question his dignity, position and power. When beliefs are based on faith alone, they are by definition fragile.” – Steven Pinker

Having beliefs is not a problem; to be their prisoner is where the real problem lies.

Peace activist William Sloane Coffin Jr. said, “If you stand for nothing, nothing can bring you down.”

But if you hold your beliefs based on faith, they can drown you in a sea of ​​intolerance and ignorance.

1. Be aware of your bias

Awareness of your own bias is the first necessary step.

The way you look at the world can get you into a lot of trouble.

Beliefs are part of your personality. But you are not your beliefs. You control what you believe in, not the other way around.

Blaise Pascal said: “People almost invariably arrive at their beliefs not on the basis of evidence, but on the basis of what they find attractive.”

2. Encourage and accept dissent

Most people avoid conflict because beliefs are a very sensitive topic. However, suppressing tension brings more harm than benefit.

Surround yourself with people with different points of view.

Abraham Lincoln deliberately filled his cabinet with rival politicians and those with different ideologies. He encouraged heated debate and discussion when making decisions.

3. Understand what you stand for

Most of your beliefs were instilled in you as a child. Some of them, such as religion, sports interests or political affiliation, were directly passed on to us from our parents.

"We contain many different people" – Walt Whitman

Your values ​​and beliefs determine what you say yes and no to. You are a combination of all those layers.

You are your inherited beliefs, your choices and contradictions.

4. Challenge your own beliefs

Challenging yourself is not easy. List your core beliefs and write down everything that is wrong with them. Pay special attention to those that were instilled in you as a child.

Reconsider what you believe from time to time.

Challenging beliefs can make them disappear or become stronger.

Buddha said: “Doubt everything. Find your own light."

Changing your mindset—getting rid of limiting beliefs—takes courage and clarity.

5. Don't be afraid to look stupid

Your faithful ally is also yours worst enemy. It's about the ego.

Stop playing the victim in your life. Self-confidence is about being able to see the world as it is, instead of looking for what will please your ego.

As Steven Pinker said: “When people organize their lives around these beliefs and then find out that others are doing just fine without them, or worse yet, successfully disproving them, they are in danger of looking like fools.”

Sometimes looking like a fool is the price you have to pay to become freer (and smarter).

How do you combat your limiting beliefs?

Limiting beliefs and hidden benefits are a barrier to youth and health.

How to get rid of limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs and hidden benefits are a barrier to youth and health. There is practically no theory in this article, but there is practical work with limiting beliefs and hidden benefits. In the course of this work, you will understand without further explanation (if you didn’t know before) what limiting beliefs and hidden benefits are and what to do with them so that they do not interfere with our lives?

In this article, we will understand the limiting beliefs and hidden benefits that make us grow old and sick. By analogy, you will understand how to work with limiting beliefs and hidden benefits in other areas of life: money, well-being, relationships - whatever.

Identifying Limiting Beliefs

Take a pen and paper (or create a text file on your computer, such as Word) and write down the following 4 sentences:

1. Over the years people become...
2. Every year I become...
3. When I'm 70 years old, I will...
4. Old age is...

Continue each phrase with the words that immediately come to your mind. You can list several options (I won’t give examples for now so that you only have your own associations). Important: do it NOW and only then read on!

Now read what you got. First, let's talk about sentences 1, 2 and 3. Most likely, you completed these phrases not only with positive words (for example, “over the years, people become smarter, more experienced”), but also with negative ones (for example, “over the years, people become sick, weak, helpless, wrinkled").

So, everything negative is NOT REALITY. These are just your LIMITING BELIEFS. What programs your brain to trigger the aging process, to illness, to failure.

And don’t say that your beliefs are based on facts, proven, etc. Beliefs always set us up to search for their confirmation. This is the main property of any beliefs - to confirm themselves. And protect themselves from any facts that could shake them (beliefs).

As soon as you hear or see something that contradicts your beliefs, you immediately try to discredit these “inconsistent” facts (“this cannot be”, “I don’t believe in this”, “lies”, “mistake”, etc. .d.). This is how the “self-preservation instinct” of your beliefs works.

But if any information confirms your beliefs, it will inspire you with absolute trust and will be easily accepted on faith, without any checks.

And also, if we really look into it, are these negative beliefs “yours”? Where did they come from? Initially - stories and words of other people (for example, parents, teachers, people in authority for you), from other people's experience. And then, having accepted other people’s beliefs, integrating them into own picture world, you began to look for confirmation of them in the world around you - again in other people’s experience, but also in your own. And whoever seeks, as we know, will always find!

So, let's destroy these “pseudo-our” beliefs!

The good news is that letting go of limiting beliefs is much easier than you might think! To do this we will do one simple thing...

Working with limiting beliefs.

So, getting rid of limiting beliefs is not easy, but very simple! However, working with limiting beliefs is not so much about destroying them as replacing them with other, positive, “non-limiting” beliefs.

In sentences 1, 2 and 3, cross out everything in bold negative words, and above them write the opposite positive words, even if you don’t believe in them (you probably don’t believe in them YET, but, fortunately, this is not required). If you did the task not on paper, but on the computer, then select the entire phrase and cross it out like this, and write the corrected phrase below.

Example:

Over the years, people become old, sick, ugly, and stupid.

Over the years, people become younger, healthier, more beautiful, smarter.

As you can see, we get rid of negative (limiting) beliefs, replacing them with positive (permissive) ones.

Limiting beliefs are called limiting because they limit us, drive us into a certain framework:

• it is only possible this way, and not otherwise,
• everyone gets old, which means I can’t avoid it,
• at 60 years old everyone has high blood pressure,
• etc.

Positive beliefs, on the contrary, do not prohibit anything, but only allow it. And thus, they allow you to go beyond your usual boundaries, get out of the well-trodden rut and choose some other path.

Is it that simple? Well, not really.

Now the MOST IMPORTANT: repeat this action every evening, before going to bed, for 7 days (one week in total).

Write these few phrases with a continuation (with any continuation that comes to your mind), and then replace the negative words with positive ones - the opposite in meaning.

You will see how gradually fewer and fewer negative words come into your head, and more and more positive ones. Let me remind you - IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO BELIEVE in what you write. This works regardless of your faith!

Of course, to completely and finally get rid of limiting beliefs, you will need more than one week. Therefore, take a break of 1-2 months and repeat the work with limiting beliefs again.

But more importantly, DO something to confirm your new, positive beliefs. Only your actions aimed at achieving absolute health and youth will help consolidate new affirmations and will not allow the old ones to return.

Revealing hidden benefits:

Now let’s read the 4th sentence (“Old age is...”) - how did you continue it? I admit, I deliberately confused you a little by suggesting that you first complete all four phrases. In this last phrase, all negative words are COMPLETELY APPROPRIATE! And this is explained by the fact that OLD AGE and AGE are completely unrelated. Aging is a disease, and age is just a number in your passport, which simply SHOULD NOT affect you! (and if you agree now - see the beginning of the article - about limiting beliefs

But if you finished the 4th phrase with positive words (for example, “Old age is peace, respect from others”), then they settled in your consciousness (and subconscious, which is much more important) ... HIDDEN BENEFITS. This is such a secretive, insidious animal that is capable of sabotaging any of our attempts to become young, healthy and beautiful. Identifying hidden benefits and getting rid of them is more difficult than limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs, they are on the surface! And hidden benefits are hidden because they are hidden and disguised. But we will bring them to clean water too!

The main thing is that we discovered them. Now they can't get away from us.

Working with hidden benefits:

HIDDEN BENEFITS mean that you associate what you want (for example, rest, freedom from work and other obligations, attention from others) with old age. ATTENTION! Your desires are COMPLETELY CORRECT (not the right desires It just doesn’t happen)! It is NOT CORRECT to link these desires to the state of OLD AGE!

I repeat once again that old age is precisely a state (of soul, body, consciousness), and not a specific age. However, the word "age" is so strongly associated with various conditions(children, teenagers, young, middle-aged, senior, pensioners...) that it is very difficult to “untie” him from these associations. Therefore, I recommend using the word “age” less often, and, if possible, completely eliminating it from your vocabulary.

As soon as we discovered these harmful attachments of our desires to the state of old age, they (the attachments) began to LOSE POWER. And in order for them to finally melt, it is necessary to find another, constructive, way to get what you want, instead of aging! Often, you don’t even need to look. It is enough just to SEE that the state of old age has NOTHING to do with your desires.

For example, in order to stop working, you need to retire, and receiving a pension in no way depends on your health and appearance- You don’t need to bring a doctor’s certificate about a bunch of “senile” ailments in order to receive a pension and relax for your own pleasure!

Getting attention can be a little more difficult - since childhood we are accustomed to being pitied when we are sick. But this problem is easy to solve. Often, simply asking is enough. Just say, “Dear husband (wife/daughter), I’m terribly lacking in attention. Please bring me a cup of tea and a bagel in bed!”

And remember that as you become younger and more beautiful, you will receive much more SINCERE ATTENTION, and not attention out of obligation/out of pity.

Your wishes are very important! Be sure to look for a way to get what you want - the main thing is that this method is not as destructive as aging and disease.

What do we do with our recorded phrase (“Old age is...”)? Yes, we simply cross out all the POSITIVE words with which you continued it (we leave the negative ones). There is no need to replace them with negative ones. We have already done all the work with hidden benefits when we discovered them and found alternative ways to get what we want.

Just as we do with sentences 1-3, sentence 4 also needs to be written down every evening for 7 days and work done to identify hidden benefits and neutralize them.

Let's review what we do every evening for the next 7 days.

Limiting Beliefs:

1. We write down sentences 1-3 in a notebook (“Over the years, people become...”, “Every year I become...”, “When I am 70 years old (80-90-100), I will...”
2. We continue each sentence with the words that come to our minds by association.
3. We cross out all negative words and write positive ones instead (with the opposite meaning).

Hidden benefits:

1. We write down "Old age is..."
2. We continue the phrase with the words that come to our minds.
3. We find positive words and identify hidden benefits.
4. We find constructive ways achieve what you want and cross out the positive words.

P.S. The method described in the article for identifying limiting beliefs and hidden benefits and working with them, of course, is not the only one. There are many methods, most of which offer to deal with these phenomena much more thoroughly. This method can be called the express method, it is so simple and fast compared to others. However, simplicity does not make the proposed method less effective!

If you want to “dig” into the nooks and crannies of your consciousness and subconscious, look for the roots of limiting beliefs and the sacred meaning of hidden benefits, then here are a few questions that you can ask yourself (the questions are suitable for both limiting beliefs and hidden benefits).

Questions for working with limiting beliefs and hidden benefits:

1. When did I develop this belief?
2. Who gave me this belief?
3. Was the person who instilled this belief in me lucky, happy, healthy, etc. (depending on the belief being examined)?
4. Do I want to be like the person who instilled this belief in me (in the area to which this belief relates)?
5. Under what circumstances might this belief be false?
6. Do I know someone who has opposing beliefs?
7. How competent is a person with opposing beliefs in the area to which the beliefs under study relate)?
8. How can giving up this belief affect my life (positive and negative consequences)?
9. How might rejecting this belief affect people close to me (positive and negative consequences)?

As you can see, you can come up with a lot of questions, you can delve into yourself endlessly. Frankly, I don't like it. I prefer simple and effective solutions. For me, the main thing is the result. And for you?

Anecdote on the topic:

A man comes to a psychologist and says: “Doctor, I haven’t slept for a week! Every night, as soon as I go to bed, a herd of elephants runs out from under the bed, then zebras, crocodiles crawl out after them, lions run out... and everyone laughs, blows the whistle, growl... and so on all night!"

The psychologist scratched his head and said: “The case, of course, is complex - complex hallucinations, visual and auditory. But not hopeless! Long-term treatment is required, 2 times a week, $200 per session. But in about half a year there will be an improvement!”

The patient said he would think about it and left.

A week later, the psychologist meets him by chance on the street and asks how he is doing.

The man says: “Everything is fine, my neighbor cured me, for a bottle!”

The psychologist is surprised: “How???”, and the man explains: “Yes, simply, I filed the legs by the bed!” published

The science of making miracles. Author's training for the fulfillment of desires Karavaeva Natalya Gennadievna

How to get rid of beliefs that prevent you from moving towards a new life

Old habits are strong and jealous.

Dorothea Brando

Another “enemies” of achieving a goal are the so-called “limiting beliefs” and “secondary benefits from not fulfilling a desire.”

Secondary benefits will be discussed in the next chapter. Here we will talk about harmful beliefs.

What are limiting beliefs?

These are our attitudes regarding the sphere in which the goal lies.

Each of us has behind us a whole baggage of such attitudes, beliefs and patterns that we have accumulated since early childhood and until today. Children perceive information uncritically. We perceived what people significant to us said and did: parents, educators, teachers - as the ultimate truth.

Children perceive information uncritically. We perceived what people significant to us said and did: parents, educators, teachers - as the ultimate truth.

If your parents believed that big money could not be earned honestly, you believed this too. If your teachers put it in your head that “nothing good will come of you,” then on a subconscious level you still have this attitude that does not allow you to move forward.

Friends, acquaintances, and colleagues also made (and continue to make) their contribution to your worldview. The books you read and the films you watched left your imprint there. Not last role Various attitudes that the media persistently impose on us also play a role.

You will have to fight your stereotypes and limiting beliefs!

As a result, every person has a whole set of limiting beliefs, such as: “You cannot get rich honestly,” “In our country it is impossible to run your own business,” “Real men have disappeared,” “All women only need money from me,” “In our family They’re all overweight, that’s the constitution—nothing can be done about it,” and the like.

Such attitudes undermine your faith in yourself and in your goal, force you to give up at the slightest difficulty, and sometimes not even take on the task at all, considering it impossible.

It is possible and necessary to get rid of limiting beliefs.

Practical tasks for REALISTS

EXERCISE"Working with limiting beliefs"

Write down frankly, without hesitation, everything you think about the area within which your dream lies. Find your list of limiting beliefs.

Example

Money is evil. There is always not enough money. When you have money, your mood rises and you want to live. Having money, you can do what you love, travel. If you didn’t live richly, there’s nothing to start with. All rich people are thieves and bandits. By earning a lot of money, you can provide your parents with a calm, happy old age, and your children a decent future. To earn a lot of money, you need to work from morning to evening.

Divide the sheet into two parts. In the column on the left, write down all the harmful beliefs that you discovered.

Example

On the right, opposite each negative belief, write down a positive statement. It doesn't matter whether you believe it or not.

Example

Cut (tear off) left side sheet with limiting beliefs, tear it into small pieces and burn it (scatter it in the wind, throw it away, flush it down the toilet).

Rewrite the positive statements written on the right side into new leaf paper in clear, neat handwriting, here you can add those positive statements that were in your original text.

Place the resulting list in a visible place. Read these statements as often as possible. Instill new ideas through repetition, just as you learned the multiplication tables as a child.

? Money is just a tool; it can be used for good deeds.

? I always have enough money.

? It's never too late to become who I want to be

? Among the rich there are many honest and noble people.

? You don't have to work hard to earn big money.

? Having money, you can do what you love, travel.

By earning a lot of money, you can provide your parents with a calm, happy old age, and your children a decent future.

Practical tasks for ROMANTICS

EXERCISE"Dialogue with the Inner Critic"

Take a pen and paper. Find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed. Relax.

Write down your desire as a statement.

The thoughts that come to your mind after this, quickly, without hesitation, transfer to paper, in the line below. This is your inner Critic challenging the possibility of getting what you want.

All contradictions that will appear from the depths of the subconscious are your inner fears and limiting beliefs.

Your task for each argument of the internal Critic is to find your own counterargument in favor of the fact that your desire can be realized. It will turn out to be unique written dialogue with your inner critic.

Continue until all his critical and derogatory remarks have dried up.

Example

IN next year I am marrying a smart, rich man out of mutual love.

Where can you get something like this? The smart and rich were taken apart long ago.

There are a lot of interesting wealthy free men around.

Maybe so, but why does he need you? There are women much more beautiful than you.

Yes, I have. But I'm also very sweet and charming. I have a lot of virtues and talents. I am sure that I can please my chosen one.

To please him, you must first find him. It won't fall from the sky on your head.

It won't fall. But there are chances to meet someone smart and rich. Now I will look around more carefully.

Ha, to the sides! What do you think, rich people travel on buses and subways?

Maybe his car will break down the day we meet. And then, why on the bus or subway? It is absolutely not necessary to meet on public transport.

Hmm, well, where else? On online dating sites?

There are actually a lot of options. We may meet by chance at some party. Or he will come to our office on business. Or we’ll meet at a conference, seminar or exhibition. In the supermarket, after all. Isn't that enough? Or at least on a dating site. What's wrong with that?

Are you completely out of your mind? There are only maniacs there. And what will mom say?

Well, you forgot about maniacs. As for my mother, I’m already a big girl and can take care of myself. Mom has not given me orders for a long time. Your own head on your shoulders.

This is what's scary! Do you know what kind of shots are found?! I would read crime reports. You will find yourself an adventure to the fifth point.

Don’t be harmful, you know that I am a completely reasonable and sensible woman and will not get involved in any adventures. Yes, and you are always on the alert - you will give a sign if something is wrong.

What a sycophant! Okay, what to do with you - go for it.

Examples of beliefs that are worth destroying: Outdated beliefs Only lies can achieve success in life There is never enough time to cope with all the things Money is always short I can handle it myself All these shamanic things are completely unrealistic People don’t like,

Three basic principles lives arising from the teachings for the new era 1. If everything in the world is short-lived and limited manifestations of Darkness and Energy, you should not take everything in the world too seriously. You should perceive all this as a game, fun, entertainment. Play to your heart's content and