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The greatest tragedy of life is to lose God and not miss Him” (F. Norwood).
Although atheists claim not to believe in God, some Christians and all Muslims believe that at some point in their lives even committed atheists will accept His existence. The innate but stubbornly ignored sense of God awareness usually manifests itself in difficult moments. World War II quote: “There are no atheists in a fox hole.”
Undoubtedly, there are times - be it days of painful illness, a humiliating attack by criminals, or split seconds in anticipation of dire consequences inevitable accident - when we understand how vulnerable a person is and has no control over fate. Isn’t it the Creator we turn to at such moments? These moments of despair should remind everyone, from the religious scientist to the ardent atheist, of man's dependence on a reality much greater than our insignificant existence. Greater in everything: in knowledge, strength, will...
In such bitter moments, when all human efforts are in vain, and nothing material world cannot help, to whom, if not to God, does a person instinctively appeal? In moments of testing, how many times do we turn to the Lord, each time promising to stand on true path! But how many people keep given word?
The greatest disaster for man will undoubtedly be the Day of Judgment, and the unfortunate will be the one who recognizes the existence of God only on this terrible day. The English poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning, describing the appeal of the sufferers (“Man’s Lament”) writes:
“And the lips say: “God is compassionate”
Those who have never praised Him."
The thinking atheist, although full of skepticism, still fears Doomsday, the absence of which he is unable to prove. Therefore, just in case, he says:
“Oh Lord, if there is a Lord! Save my soul, if I have a soul” (Joseph Ernest Renan, “The Skeptic’s Prayer”).
Would a person lose anything if he turned to God with such a prayer? If an atheist decides to remain in unbelief, it will not get worse, but if with conversion the man will come to faith, as Thomas Jefferson said:
“If you find a reason to believe in God, the knowledge that you live under His supervision and He approves of your actions will give an additional boost - if there is any future life, the hope of a happy existence will fuel the desire to earn it..."
If a person does not see God in the splendor of His creations, he should look again. As Francis Bacon once said: “I would rather believe all the fairy tales, the Talmud and the Koran, than that the universe has no mind.” He further writes: “The Lord never performed miracles to refute atheism, because His simple works already refute it.”
Think about it, even the smallest creations, simple for Him, are a miracle for us! Take, for example, a tiny spider. Does anyone really believe that such a sophisticated creature could have arisen from the “primordial soup”? This creation - a small miracle - can produce up to seven types of silk, incredibly thin but durable. Spider silk is stronger than steel. The spider produces different silks for different purposes: hunting, wrapping prey, creating a pouch for storing eggs, etc. And this is only a small part of the spider's miracle.
And at the same time, man considers himself a higher creature. Just one minute of sincere reflection can prove to a person his insignificance. Looking at a beautiful building, we are imbued with respect for the architect, and when admiring a sculpture, we think about the sculptor. But look at the sophistication of the creations around: from the smallest complexity nuclear particle to the unknown expanses of the Universe. Are you really getting nowhere? Surrounded by splendor, we humans cannot even create the wings of a mosquito! The whole world, the Universe is in a state of amazing harmony, demonstrating the result of random coincidences that transformed cosmic chaos into balanced perfection! Some call it a coincidence, others call it creation.
People with a fixed mindset often try to escape from their problems. If their life is flawed, then They themselves with flaws. It's much easier to pretend that everything is fine. Consider this dilemma.
Dilemma It would seem that you have everything: a successful career, a happy marriage, wonderful children and true friends. But with one of the listed “points”, in fact, not everything is so smooth. Little do you know, your marriage is falling apart at the seams. It’s not that there were absolutely no signs of impending trouble, but you preferred to give them a different, incorrect explanation. You tried to realize your idea of the “role of a man” and the “role of a woman” and did not notice your partner’s desire to establish more active communication. And when they realized what was happening and tried to pay attention to their spouse, it turned out that it was too late: he had lost his emotional connection with you, and your marriage ceased to excite him.
The reaction of a person with a fixed mindset.You always felt sorry for divorced people, bro-
secret people. And now you are among them. You have completely lost your sense of self-worth. Your husband, who has gotten to know you very well, no longer wants to live with you.
Month after month passes, and you still cannot muster the strength to continue living. You have already convinced yourself that even the children will be better off without you. It won’t be long before you feel like a worthwhile and necessary person again, and again find some hope. But time goes by, and now you finally feel a little better. Now comes the most difficult stage. After all, you still have a fixed mindset. You are constantly trying to pass a verdict on life. When something good happens, your inner voice says, "It's not so bad after all." But when something bad happens, a little voice says, “My husband was right.” And you also evaluate each new acquaintance and see in him a potential traitor.
How can you reimagine your marriage, yourself, and your life from a growth mindset perspective? Why were you afraid to listen to the signals your husband was sending you? What could you do then? What can you do now?
The first steps of a person with a growth mindset.The point is not that the marriage you are about to
You got used to being considered essentially good, but suddenly turned out to be not quite good or even not good at all. A marriage is a living organism that at some point stopped developing due to lack of nutrition. You need to think about what role you - both you personally and your partner - played in order for everything to end this way. Be especially thoughtful about why you didn't heed the call for greater intimacy and understanding.
As you begin to analyze what happened, you realize that, due to a fixed mindset, you perceived your husband’s requests as criticism addressed to you, which you did not want to listen to. You also realize that at some stage you were afraid that you were not capable of the kind of intimacy that your husband asks for. And instead of discussing these issues with him, they remained deaf to his calls, hoping that everything would work out on its own.
When relationships go sour, we all need to think deeply about similar questions. And we need to do this not in order to judge ourselves, but in order to overcome our fears and gain the communication skills that we all need to build and maintain good relations in the future. After all, a growth mindset allows people to carry forward not condemnation and bitterness, but new understanding and new skills.
Maybe even now there is a person in your life who is trying to tell you something, something that you refuse to hear. Adopt a growth mindset and listen again.
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Good afternoon. I can't find a definition for the situation. I’ll just describe specific cases, maybe you can tell me how to communicate with such a person and why this happens. A person constantly denies obvious things. As an example: “You ignore questions for several days, this is rudeness.” - No, this is not rudeness.”, “Yesterday you promised to meet in the evening or call me.” - I didn’t say that. (And I know perfectly well when and what we agreed on ) - Why are you lying? - I’m not lying.” It got to the point where the person spent a week proving to me that he didn’t call me at half past 4 in the morning and didn’t throw tantrums. I asked for a printout from the operator. He sent it to me in a modified form, I made my request to the operator, where everything was clearly written. When I showed it to him, he simply did not want to talk about this topic. These are just a few cases, these happen with enviable frequency, when you start talking, you hear answers like “I didn’t say that.”, “No, that’s not true,” “No, that didn’t happen, you’re lying.” This mental disorder or has the person simply become completely insolent and considers everyone around him more stupid?
Answers and advice from psychologists
Hello, Tatyana! This behavior is called gaslighting and is one of the varieties psychological violence. The title comes from the film Gaslight, in which a husband tries to drive his wife crazy by changing the lighting in the house and convincing her that she is “imagining it.” The purpose of this behavior is to “bend” the victim, to convince him of his own inadequacy. It would be best to completely stop communicating with such a person.
Psychologist, psychologist-sexologist, online consultant
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Good afternoon, Tatyana. Constant denial can be defensive reaction in order not to be held responsible for their actions and avoid punishment. When a message is sent to him with specific demands and claims, defensive actions are automatically activated. The situations described are reminiscent of the relationship between a strict, controlling mother and a teenager who is not given the opportunity to explain his actions, for example, in a softer form: I was worried about you yesterday when I was expecting you, but you didn’t come. I was very sad, I felt bad.....If you had at least called me that you would not come, then I could go / do /.... And this worries me and upsets me in our relationship.. ...I would like the next time......
Direct questions: why, you......cause resistance..
Try to change your communication tactics as between adults who contribute to the relationship.
At the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries, the ruling circles Ottoman Empire decided on the first modern history of humanity, the large-scale destruction of one people.
Historians recall Turkey, the legal successor of the Ottoman Empire, to its past, in which the Armenian genocide is a red stripe. Then the Turks mercilessly massacred entire villages. No one was spared - neither men, nor women, nor old people, nor children. But a hundred years have passed, and the Turkish side denies the very fact of genocide...
Last December, Turkish Prime Minister Ahmet Davutoglu flew to the Azerbaijani capital, Baku, to meet with President Ilham Aliyev. Following the meeting, the Turkish guest made a statement that actually outlined a new vector in the confrontation with Russia and its ally, Armenia:
We discussed regional issues, led by the Nagorno-Karabakh problem. Turkey's position is open and specific: as long as all occupied Azerbaijani lands, every single one square centimeter will not be returned - Türkiye will continue to support Azerbaijan
At the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries, the ruling circles of the Ottoman Empire decided on the first large-scale extermination of one people in modern human history. The Young Turks made far-reaching plans to create a “Great Turan”. Ataturk dreamed of annexing Transcaucasia to his empire, North Caucasus, Crimea, Volga region, Central Asia. On the way to this goal, the ruling elite had to put an end to, first of all, the Armenian people, who resisted the aggressive plans. Also, with the help of genocide, the Turks solved another problem - economic. As a result of genocide, a lot of wealth Armenian people passed into the hands of the Turks.
The streets of the Armenian neighborhoods turned into such “cemeteries” after Ottoman soldiers came to raid them. Men were slaughtered or shot, women were raped and crucified on crosses. Orphaned children were driven into the desert. There they died of hunger and beatings.
crucified women
According to various sources, by 1915 the number of those killed among Armenian population exceeded 600 thousand people. And similar persecutions continued for at least another 10 years.
In the video for the “100 Seconds” project, the famous Polish director Krzysztof Zanussi read an excerpt from the testimony of Misak Sedrakyan, a genocide survivor.
When the soldiers broke down our door, my mother rushed to our aid in horror. But the soldiers killed her before our eyes. Then my brother immediately climbed through the ventilation hole onto the roof. When I tried to do the same, the soldier wounded me by hitting me twice with his sword. And I fell down. Then one of them said: “This one is still young. Let's not kill him.” And they let me go. And they began to rob the house. I got out of hiding and saw my mother’s corpse lying on the threshold of our house. There were corpses all around - all over the village. I saw soldiers on the other side raping young women and forcibly taking girls away. I ran away in horror and hid in a pile of dry manure.
In total, 24 similar videos were shot for the 100th anniversary of the Armenian genocide. Provided texts for filming National Archives Armenia. Each of the passages was read by people with social influence in the world - writers, musicians, actors and journalists. Ordinary residents of the Armenian Republic also made similar videos this year. For example, the girl Alvard Gevorgyan. She recorded on video the story of her great-grandfather, Gevorg Minasi Gevorgyan, who survived all the horrors of the Armenian genocide of 1915.
“The mother pushed him into the extinguished fireplace and covered him with a thick black grate so that he could not be seen. And at the same time she told him: “So that you don’t see or hear, don’t you dare leave here!” At that moment, Turkish soldiers burst into the house. In front of my great-grandfather, his sisters were raped, all the women who were at home. Among them was his pregnant aunt, in the late stages of pregnancy. Turkish soldiers began to place bets on what gender the child would be. When the bets were already made, they ripped open her stomach alive and took out the still living child. They put him on a bayonet that was on the gun and they ended up shooting him.”
In the early 20th century, many photographs were taken of orphans in the Ottoman Empire. Today they are kept in the Armenian Museum of Moscow. The photographs show very tiny boys and girls who became homeless due to the fact that all members of their families were destroyed. These kids were lucky, they didn’t end up in the so-called special Turkish steam rooms.
According to the testimony of French doctors, little Armenians were sent to mobile steam baths, in which they were then killed with superheated steam - that is, they were actually boiled alive.
Agree, it is impossible to forgive, much less forget, such things. This is why millions of Armenians around the world are pushing for genocide to be officially recognized as a crime against humanity, and why relations between Armenia and Turkey remain bitterly cold even a hundred years later.
True, today's Turkish government denies both the scale of the tragedy and the number of victims it suffered. At the same time, officials refer to the lack of archival evidence. And this is not surprising, because who wants to be known as a nation of murderers and rapists? That's why Turkish authorities so carefully hides the terrible facts of genocide from the world community. For example, destroying documents, organizing “alternative” photo exhibitions on the topic of the Armenian genocide. But still, the Turks are unable to greatly retouch their own history.
Mehmed Talaat Pasha will forever remain in the history of Turkey as one of the leaders of the Young Turk Party “Unity and Progress”, and the perpetrator of the massacre of the Armenians. To today His numerous correspondence with the governors of Turkish provinces has been preserved. In one of these messages to the mayor of the city of Alepo, Talaat gives detailed instructions on how the “Armenian question” should be resolved.
To Aleppo prefecture
“The right of Armenians to live and work in Turkey has been completely eliminated. The government, which takes full responsibility in this regard, has ordered not to leave a single child in the cradle. Let women and children be expelled without any reason, no matter who they are, even those who cannot go. And do not give the population any reason to defend themselves.
Another early way to deal with troubles is to refuse to accept their existence. We all automatically respond with such denial to any catastrophe. The first reaction of a person who is informed about the death of a loved one is: “No!” This reaction is an echo of an archaic process rooted in children's egocentrism, when cognition is controlled by a prelogical conviction: “If I don’t admit this, then it didn’t happen.” Similar processes inspired Selma Freiberg to title her classic popular book about early childhood“The Magic Years.”
A person for whom denial is a fundamental defense always insists that “everything is fine and everything is for the best.” The parents of one of my patients continued to have one child after another, although three of their offspring had already died from what any other parent not in a state of denial would understand as a genetic disorder. They refused to mourn their dead children, ignored the suffering of two healthy sons, rejected advice to seek genetic counseling, and insisted that what was happening to them was the will of God, who knew their good better than themselves. Experiences of elation and overwhelming joy, especially when they arise in situations in which most people would find negative aspects, also talk about the action of negation.
Most of us resort to some degree of denial, with worthy goal make life less unpleasant, and many people have their own specific areas where this protection takes precedence over the rest. Most people whose feelings are hurt, in a situation where it is inappropriate or unwise to cry, would rather give up their feelings than, fully aware of them, suppress the tears with a conscious effort. In extreme circumstances, the ability to deny the danger to life on an emotional level can be life-saving. Through denial, we can realistically take the most effective and even heroic actions. Every war leaves us with many stories about people who “kept their heads” in terrible, deadly circumstances and, as a result, saved themselves and their comrades.
What's worse is that denial can lead to the opposite outcome. One friend of mine refuses to have annual gynecological tests, as if by ignoring the possibility of uterine and cervical cancer, she can magically avoid these diseases. A wife who denies that her husband who beats her is dangerous; an alcoholic who insists that he has no problem with alcohol; a mother who ignores evidence of her daughter being sexually abused; old man, not thinking about giving up driving a car, despite the obvious weakening of the ability to do so - these are all familiar examples of denial at its worst.
This psychoanalytic concept has been adopted more or less without distortion into everyday language, partly because the word “denial,” like “isolation,” has not become slang. Another reason for the popularity of this concept is its special role in 12 Step programs (drug addiction treatment) and other activities designed to help their participants become aware of their habitual use of this defense and to help them get out of the hell they have created for themselves.
A component of denial can be found in most more mature defenses. Take, for example, the comforting belief that the person who rejected you actually wanted to be with you, but is simply not yet ready to give himself entirely and formalize your relationship. In this case, we see the denial of rejection, as well as a more sophisticated technique of finding justification, which is called rationalization. Similarly, defense through reactive formation, when the emotion turns into its opposite (hate - love), is specific and more complex look denial of the feeling from which one needs to protect oneself, rather than simply refusing to experience the feeling.
The most obvious example of psychopathology due to the use of denial is mania. While in a manic state, people can deny their physical needs, need for sleep, financial difficulties, personal weaknesses and even your mortality. While depression makes it completely impossible to ignore the painful facts of life, mania gives them psychological insignificance. People for whom denial is their main defense are manic in nature. Analytically oriented clinicians classify them as hypomanic. (The prefix “hypo,” meaning “few” or “several,” distinguishes these people from individuals experiencing true manic episodes.)
This category has also been characterized by the word “cyclothymia” (“alternating emotions”), since it tends to alternate between manic and depressive moods, usually not reaching the severity of a clinically diagnosed bipolar disease. Analysts view these fluctuations as the result of periodic use of denial, each time followed by the inevitable “collapse” when the person becomes exhausted due to a manic state.
The presence of unmodified denial in an adult, like other primitive defenses, is a cause for concern. However, mildly hypomanic people can be charming. Many comedians and entertainers demonstrate wit, energy, a penchant for wordplay, and an infectious high spirits. These are the signs that characterize people who, over a long period of time, successfully remove and transform painful experiences. But relatives and friends often notice reverse side Their character is heavy and depressive, and it is often not difficult to see the psychological cost of their manic charm.
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