" It talks about a world in which no one could lie. One day, something broke in the brain of one inhabitant of this world, and he uttered his first lie. In order not to spoil the impression of the film, I will not say further and I advise you to watch it to learn about how our world could look without lies.
And since in the real world there are more than enough lies and deceit, here are a few ways to deal with them and bring a person you don’t trust to light.
Observe a person in a critical situation
When a person has to act critical situation, he cannot dissemble or play. He does not have the ability to use masks, and he will most likely act as his instincts dictate.
People who have been offended by life most often take it out on the service staff. Waiters, cleaners, salespeople - they all get it. If a person whistles or snaps his fingers at the waiter, this is the first sign that your interlocutor is an idiot.
Watch your body language and intonation
It's not difficult to find. Liars can be recognized by several signs:
- Pauses in conversation.
- Averting your eyes when answering a question.
- Changing the topic of conversation.
- They make excuses even when you don’t reproach them.
- Faces are often touched.
Of course, you shouldn’t overdo it and follow every gesture of your interlocutor. But sometimes this little cheat sheet helps clear things up.
Gossip about mutual friends
We love gossip to a greater or lesser extent. And, unfortunately, we often do not know the extent of them. By gossiping about mutual friends, you will see with your own eyes how much crap can come out of a seemingly good person.
Lend or borrow money
And although we have already said that this is the last thing you should think about, but by borrowing or lending money to a person, you can learn a lot of new things about him.
Go on a trip together
Extreme way. If you are already thinking about how to bring a person to clean water, then going on a trip with him is not the best idea. best idea. But after spending some time alone, you will see all his cockroaches.
Tell me a secret
Telling a secret will test a person's ability to keep secrets. If you don't trust him, you can tell him a trivial secret or a made-up secret, just to see if he will rush to retell it further.
Have there been situations in your life when you needed to understand what a person really is? What did you do?
We will try to immediately avoid possible misunderstandings. If you don't like your therapist, does that mean he's really bad specialist? It's not that simple. After all, the relationship between a therapist and his patient is extremely subjective: one of us may not like that the therapist is silent all the time, while the other, on the contrary, may find his questions and statements unceremonious.
We are confident that a good therapist is, first of all, a person with whom we feel comfortable, who will support, understand, and offer the best ways to resolve difficulties and troubles. However, if such a feeling does not arise, this does not mean that we have met a bad specialist.
Unfortunately, we risk being deceived no less if it seems that the therapist is the best and most competent. Indeed, in search of an ideal, we fall into the power of illusions inspired by the unconscious memory of early childhood charms and disappointments in relationships with parents. And we unwittingly transfer them to the therapist, and therefore simply cannot see him objectively.
When experiencing difficulties, we seek help from another person, whom we consciously or unconsciously endow with enormous power.
Sometimes statements about the “worthlessness” of the therapist can only be a convenient excuse to justify refusing psychotherapy. After all, when we feel the need to open up to someone, to share our feelings and fantasies, we often experience excitement and anxiety.
We may be aware that we need the help of a specialist, but we will unconsciously shy away from reviewing our behavior patterns. Although destructive relationships make us suffer, due to habit they seem safer to us than the uncertainty of the new. This is how psychological resistance arises. A person in his power is ready to declare all specialists bad - just so as not to undergo such an unpleasant and often painful procedure.
He must respect ethical standards
So is it possible to objectively assess whether the specialist we turned to for help is good or bad? When experiencing difficulties, we seek help from another person, whom we consciously or unconsciously endow with enormous power: we pin our hopes on him and are convinced that he is the one who will help us.
Therefore, we can say that a psychotherapist is bad in one and only case - if he abuses power, his influence on us. It is unacceptable to use a patient to improve one’s own social and financial situation, increase self-esteem, or get rid of feelings of loneliness with his help.
Whatever the psychotherapist's specialty, he must adhere to the code professional ethics and fulfill certain obligations towards the patient. The first among them is maintaining confidentiality, protecting personal life the patient from any intrusion by so-called third parties.
A psychotherapist has no right to establish friendships with a patient or (especially!) sexual relations. Violation of any of these rules, even if it seems quite harmless, indicates that something is wrong with this specialist.
How do we feel about the services of psychotherapists?
According to the fund's survey " Public opinion", held in 44 regions of Russia in May 2006:
- 44% of Russians aged 18 to 35 say that in difficult situation ready to turn to a professional for help.
- 6% met with a psychologist at least once. A third of them believe that it did not bring them any benefit: “The psychotherapist was not qualified enough,” “After a month I felt worse,” “I don’t trust him.”
He should answer your questions
Each method of psychotherapy has its own limitations and rules. For example, in psychoanalytic practice physical contact between analyst and patient is generally prohibited, unlike, say, body psychotherapy. A cognitive therapist will likely ask you to do your homework, while a Gestalt therapist, for example, will likely tell you, “Let's observe what happens in the session.”
Before starting therapy, it is useful to gain some understanding of the generally accepted methods of psychotherapy - this will allow you to avoid pseudo-experts and outright ignoramuses.
You need to find out about the professional reputation of the psychotherapist you came to see. At the first meeting, ask him about what training he has received, about his specialization, direction or school to which he belongs, and whether he is a member of any association that has its own code of professional ethics.
You should be concerned if your therapist refuses to answer these questions. Be careful: at the first appointment, the psychotherapist should invite you to discuss the formal side of your relationship: the frequency of meetings, their duration, price, possible payment for missed sessions.
He must follow the general rules
Regardless of which method you choose, you, as well as your therapist, will have to follow certain rules. Important role The time, location of the sessions, as well as their cost play a role. Meetings are held in a specialist’s office, and not in the fresh air, and certainly not in your home. You must agree on exact time, and the duration of the session should always be set in advance - usually it is from 45 minutes to 1 hour. Payment must also be agreed upon. If the amount charged does not seem to match the prices you know, discuss this openly with your therapist.
Be careful if he is not prepared to determine how long he expects treatment to take. Do not take risks, because therapy does not last forever, perhaps in this case you are just a profitable client. But the main thing is that you do not have to pay for anything other than therapy, which is a service provided by the therapist. Of course, you should not be involved in the organization of his personal or business life, as well as the well-being of his family or friends.
“There was no falsehood in his behavior”
Maria, 42 years old
“I was 35 years old when I decided to undergo a course of psychoanalysis. I found information on the Internet and made an appointment with the first psychoanalyst. I thought it was strange the way he behaved. For example, during a session he could get up and leave the office, and then silently, without explanation, return. Or called on the phone from time to time. This annoyed me so much that I decided to leave him and find another specialist.
But not everything went smoothly with the second one either: he recorded conversations on a dictaphone and checked from time to time whether everything was recorded. And when I decided to interrupt therapy, he started calling me: “You need me!”
Fortunately, a friend recommended another analyst. With him, I immediately had the feeling: “This is the one I need!” And not even because he understood and supported me, but because in his manner of behavior, in the way he spoke, in the way he listened, there was no pretentiousness or falsehood. And meeting this person actually allowed me to understand a lot about myself.”
Is he acting unusual?
A therapist is not a friend and should not try to become one. So there is absolutely no need for him to call you at home to tell you about how he spent the weekend, or to invite you anywhere... If the therapist offers to come to him for lunch or makes an appointment outside his office, this should alert you.
If he compliments, if you feel like the object of his admiration, worship, sexual interest, if he himself looks overly exciting and sexy, leave him. This is not the atmosphere and not the specialist you need. And finally, you should be wary of any unusual behavior, details that are contrary to decency and common sense: strange and pretentious clothing, scientific or esoteric jargon, familiarity.
When mutual trust is established
By what signs can we be sure that we have found exactly the therapist we need? Ideally, after the first conversation, you should be left with the feeling that it has become better, your soul is lighter because someone is really listening to us, trying to understand and help. The atmosphere in the office, the appearance of the therapist, the way he greets you, how punctual he is - all these are factors that encourage you to trust him.
But if you're in doubt, it's best to talk to him about it. Good psychotherapist will accept your doubts and use them to figure out together where your old, stereotypical fears and attitudes are manifesting themselves, and where he is really doing something wrong. This will be another step towards establishing (or restoring) trust. A bad therapist will most likely ignore your doubts or make up excuses for himself. So you will be left with the feeling that he does not understand you and does not even hear you.
About the author
Elena Sokolova - clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, doctor psychological sciences, Professor of the Department of Neuro- and Pathopsychology, Moscow State University. M. V. Lomonosov, author of several books, including “Psychotherapy. Theory and practice".
People's biofields constantly interact, but this process is not always useful. It’s good when no one suffers during the exchange, or one voluntarily shares energy, and the second does not take too much.
In practice, everything is different: in the world there are not only energy donors and vampires, but also a number of other entities. One of the most dangerous and destructive is the carrier of a negative aura. This view does not fit into simple classification, and is easy to calculate. It is especially important to know how to recognize a person with bad energy for those who have begun to see a series of unpleasant changes in their life, but cannot find their cause.
Where does the problem come from?
A person's aura is very sensitive to his actions, thoughts and emotions. So, every day we make decisions that influence the course of events, and the balance of positive and negative energy always very fragile. It is believed that bad energy appears in those who at one time made the wrong choice, committed grave sin or crime. If you do not realize the consequences of your actions in time, the situation only gets worse.
Note: not only living beings have a biofield, but also inanimate objects. For example, you can hear the concept of “bad energy in an apartment.”
How to recognize a carrier of a bad biofield
If you suspect that someone around you is a bad influence on you, pay attention to these signs.
1. Communication with this person causes a number of inconveniences, even physical ones for many. No matter how nice and open the interlocutor may seem, it is as if an invisible force is pushing you away from him. During the dialogue appears headache, you feel overwhelmed, your mood drops sharply. Someone experiences heart pain, it becomes difficult to breathe, and their vision becomes cloudy for a moment.
2. With his entire appearance, such a person seems to remind you of the frailty of existence, the meaninglessness of your actions. Simply put, even a born optimist gives up. With constant contact, you can suddenly become aggressive or, on the contrary, quiet, meek and melancholic. People with a weak biofield begin to have thoughts of suicide, so at the first sign they should quickly get rid of such society.
In the Orthodox worldview, the concepts of “aura”, “biofield” and the like are still considered inapplicable, from the evil one, therefore the topic of fighting such people (with negative energy) the church ignores. But Christian “holy fathers” no longer burn people alive at the stake for such words.
3. Another sign of a person with bad energy is that he, like a magnet, attracts new problems to himself. And it would be okay only to himself, but also to others - relatives, friends, even to colleagues in the office with whom he works. Yes, yes, like in that movie: “In every group there is at least one stinker like that...” Most often, he does not even suspect that the aura is polluted, weak and carries a danger to the owner and others. Perhaps the bearer has long become accustomed to his fate and has stopped doing anything to correct the situation, considering himself a failure or undeservedly offended by fate.
It is curious that cutting hair on a day that is not intended for this weakens a person’s energy field, but, other things being equal, he is not in danger of a serious imbalance.
4. The external signs of a person with negative energy are easy to detect: he almost never smiles! And if this happens, then the smile is forced, condescending, and perhaps out of politeness. More often, such people look upset, depressed, complain about life, whine that they don’t have time to do anything, and everything is falling out of their hands. Unfortunately, this is not a mask, and the problems mentioned are really regular in their lives, so it’s worth admitting here: the person is not lying, he really feels exhausted at the end of every day, and the troubles never end.
Do not confuse the owner of a negative biofield and energy vampire. The second one happily absorbs the energy of others, does not disdain either positive or negative - remember the people who love to be in the midst of scandals and generate them with their own hands. The first type has no need for energy - he simply cannot use it correctly.
5. It can become a previously completely clean person who is in constant contact with the carrier. These are spouses of alcoholics or drug addicts, as well as people who have experienced severe tragedy, illness and death of a loved one. Once plunged into the abyss of deep emotions and black melancholy, every day they grow deeper and deeper into a cocoon of negativity, and it is very difficult to break out of it.
6. A separate category consists of individuals exposed to the influence of black magicians. Unfortunately, there's no way around this professional help will not work, removing the evil eye or damage is a difficult matter, and experimenting without the proper skills, even trying to get rid of negative energy in itself, it’s clearly not worth it.
7.
Another group of potential owners of heavy energy are people with a red veil in their aura. Each biofield has its own unique color; identical people do not exist.
The red veil (overlap) is a complex phenomenon, and most often it occurs in early childhood. These are the people who early age were exposed to serious risks and were on the verge of death. For example, babies born wrapped in an umbilical cord, which threatened the baby with suffocation during childbirth. These could also be adopted children or children separated from their parents, people to whom mom and dad did not pay attention in childhood, humiliated, beat, and mocked. In a word, the young man was inflicted such trauma, physical or mental pain, that he turned on the instinct of self-defense on a subconscious level. 
You can identify him by his behavior: he is an eternal fighter, adversary, opponent. He fights against circumstances, the injustice of life, but in this battle he inflicts maximum wounds... on himself. If we add sudden attacks of rage, then there is no doubt that he belongs to this type.
The veil does not always indicate a person’s bad energy. Some carriers successfully use it as protection.
Unfortunately, it is impossible to remove this phenomenon until the owner is sure that surrounding life safe, does not pose a direct threat. In practice, childhood fears and traumas are the most difficult to work through.
Fortunately, both for those with heavy energy and for their “victims” there are ways to get rid of problems.
Popular ways to cleanse a person’s aura and his home
In order to remove negativity from yourself, you should first resort to simple methods:
- Get out more often fresh air, walk, pay attention have a good rest. Even a simple walk in a park or forest will bring a boost of energy and nourishment.
Did you know that among plants there are also donors and vampires? For cleaning energy field The last ones will be needed. This could be aspen, from a small piece of which you need to make a talisman and wear it under your clothes. Short-term contact with poplar, bird cherry, and spruce will help get rid of heavy energy. To establish communication, you should put right hand in the solar plexus area, and press the left palm with the back side to the lower back. Then you have to hug the tree inside palms at your back and relax for a few minutes. You should be very careful and use this “therapy” in doses. Natural healers draw out first negative and then good energy, be careful!
In addition to replenishing, in parallel, try to remove from everyday life strong destructive emotions: envy, temper, rage, do not accumulate resentment. All this spoils your aura and pollutes it.
- Check home For bad energy you can use a candle. Place it where you are most often: this could be, for example, a desk used for work, an area near the TV, or a cabinet in the kitchen. It is important that the windows are closed and there is no draft in the apartment. If the flame fluctuates, the candle smokes, or smokes soot, it means that it is necessary to get rid of the accumulated energy ballast.
- Cats are living indicators of bad energy in the house. If your daughter’s or mother’s pet, previously indifferent to you, tries to climb into your arms, “massage” the back with its claws, or lie down next to your head, check your biofield.
- To clean the energy of your home, which directly affects your condition, use a simple method: take a transparent glass without sharp edges, pour into it clean water almost to the edge, add a pinch of salt and a little vinegar. Leave it for a day, then pour it into the ground, but don’t poison the plants living nearby; find infertile soil.
- You can also cleanse with an egg: you only need to take fresh homemade (country) white, store-bought ones will not work. If the session is conducted for yourself, you will need the help of a loved one with the type of energy donor, mediator, filter. We need to give up bad thoughts, relax as much as possible and lie down. An assistant rolls the egg clockwise over your body, following its contours. Half an hour will be enough to absorb negative energy and debris into the testicle. After this, you need to take it away from the house without breaking it and bury it deeper. For your purposes, choose an area where no one lives, much less grows anything. A vacant lot would be good.
For many, the procedures help them feel better within a day; for severe cases, they will have to be repeated several times.
- Get rid of all things that accumulate negativity. These are most often broken, damaged household items: cracked mirrors, chipped cups, torn but beloved clothes, burst or bent rings... Don’t be sorry, throw them away without a twinge of conscience or pity.
If the item is expensive, for example, old gold jewelry, perform a cleaning ritual. The easiest one: rinse running water. After this, take the product to be melted down or keep it in a dark, tight bag.
Be that as it may, it is not advisable to store any damaged item, since negative energy, like rubbish, accumulates in cracks, chips and creases. The original way out of the situation is to take a photo and get rid of the thing.
Electricity powering household items, also creates its own biofield. With constant contact with electrical appliances, a person’s energy weakens, so if you work in an office at a computer, minimize contact with equipment after a hard day.
Conclusion
WITH bad energy we can and should fight. Having pumped up your own biofield, you will immediately notice positive changes in your life. As for carriers of unpleasant energy, the easiest way is not to communicate with them. In some cases, they can be helped, but no one can guarantee that during the cleansing you yourself will not become mired in melancholy and develop ruptures in your aura. If you are full of strength and ready to help people, go ahead, perhaps this is your calling. Everything is learned in practice. Good luck!
With a lit candle, you need to walk through the entire room, including the bathroom and utility room; if it starts to smoke, and the flame continuously sways and crackles, it means that there are negative currents in the house, which cause a negative state of the household.
10 signs that there is negative energy in the apartment:
1 You go home full of energy and plans for the evening. Come home - and... your strength suddenly leaves you. You cannot do anything, the desire has suddenly disappeared.
2. You don't want to go home.
3. It’s not comfortable at home, it seems that the apartment is dark, the walls and ceiling are pressing, and the mood is spoiled.
4. Moved to new apartment and your family relationships deteriorated sharply, they began to swear, quarrel, and misunderstandings appeared. Or your health has deteriorated, your money has become worse.
5. You don’t get enough sleep during the night and get up unrested, provided that you sleep the usual number of hours. Sleep was disturbed. I dream about horror movies.
6. It’s hard to keep the apartment in order. If the apartment is energetically dirty, then it is difficult to clean it.
7. Someone in the apartment was seriously ill or died.
8. Repairs cannot be made. We constantly have to redo it, everything slows down. The wallpaper peels off and everything falls apart.
9. Flowers grow poorly. They are dying, frail ones.
You can monitor the energy status of your home:
To be completely sure, you can check the energy status of the apartment with a candle. Take a church candle (you can use a regular paraffin candle). Light it and walk around the apartment, especially paying attention to all corners. See how the candle flame behaves. If the flame is even and does not crackle, then everything is in order. If the flame “dances,” smokes, or goes out, this is an indicator of negative energy in the apartment. It's time to cleanse the energy of the apartment!
Top 15: reasons for the appearance of negative energy in the apartment:
the apartment is located in a negative place (energy rift, black hole - we talk about this in more detail in the 1st stage classes of the Author's Esoteric School VEGAS. Now it is purely informational what this could be)
staying in the apartment negative people(angry, envious, constantly pouring out negativity)
quarrels and scandals in the apartment
someone else's envy of you
energy of old residents
staying in the apartment of a seriously ill person or if there was a deceased person in the apartment
negative emotions of the owners
introduced negativity (emotions, evil eyes, bad wishes), other people's energies, what we brought with us from the street, work
old things
antiques
old mirrors that outlived their owners, witnessed tragedies and misfortunes
unpleasant and negative guests
paintings or objects depicting scenes of violence, blood, dark forces
presence of stuffed animals and fish in the apartment
constantly working TV, radio with negative news and information
Apartment analysis:
Look carefully at the apartment, you are used to many things and don’t notice them, but they continue to work in negative side for you. Look around the apartment through someone else's eyes.
Highlight things that you inherited, bought in an antique store or from advertisements, what is shown in your paintings and photos (if they are hanging on the walls or in plain sight), if there are photographs of deceased people standing or hanging, put them in albums, their should not be visible and there are several reasons for this), do you have old mirrors that were purchased a long time ago and you are not their first owners.
The influence of paintings and photographs on the energy of the apartment:
The same applies to photographs, sculptures, figurines.
It is absolutely contraindicated to keep paintings of demonic content in the house, depicting freaks, devils and monsters. They themselves have an extremely negative effect on a person, and they also attract all kinds of dirt into the house. Don't forget - like attracts like. Every object in the apartment is constantly involved in its internal energy exchange. This participation must be positive. Therefore, keep in your sight only such works of art that generate bright and joyful or neutral, peaceful feelings and thoughts. (Georgy Kapitsa "Bioenergetics of the apartment")
Energy of old things in the apartment:
If your house is filled with old things, furniture left over from grandparents, previous owners. Each thing at the energy level remembers everything that happened in the house and continues to radiate these energies into the apartment, and therefore to you.
The easiest way is to get rid of old things. If this is not possible, for some reason, then put them in order, repair them, wash everything, clean it and then you can continue energy level clean the items themselves.
Cleansing the energy of old things.
For a method of cleaning furniture and old things (the same applies to second-hand items), see the addendum to the article.
A case from practice: after convincing her to throw away unnecessary things from the house, old pillows, grandmother’s things, furniture, the client’s attacks of allergic cough stopped. My grandmother had asthma.
The influence of mirrors on the energy of an apartment:
If you have an antique or antique mirror, think about it. Do you need this energy and information in your apartment?
Cleansing the energy of mirrors.
1 way
Dilute salt in water, any concentration, salt is a powerful way of cleansing. And wash the mirror with this water. Then rinse with plain clean water.
2 way
Light a candle in front of the mirror and give the information: “The flame of this candle cleanses the energy of the mirror from negativity.”
Perhaps one candle is not enough here. Watch the candle flame. It will tell you when the mirror is clean.
Popular experience says that mirrors should at least be wiped with a damp cloth after guests visit.
One of the important manhood is intimate experience. Find out from our material about 7 signs of a bad lover, which indicate a bad intimate experience of a man.
TOP 7 signs of a bad lover that can be recognized at first sight
depositphotos.com
Among other male virtues, sexual skills are far from being the most last place. After all, if there is no compatibility in intimate life, then no matter how smart, kind and generous the gentleman is, such a relationship will most likely end in nothing. Even the fact that your mother really likes him won’t save the situation. And in order not to waste your time, learn to recognize a bad lover at first sight.
Narcissism and inflated self-esteemopinion
Such a man perceives a woman as a tool for getting pleasure and will not “bother” with how good she is in bed. All your wishes, reviews and suggestions will remain in best case scenario unnoticed, at worst they will offend him.
Talks about sexual exploits
A true professional in his field will never boast of his merits. And this is absolutely true in any field. A man who is confident in his sexual capabilities will demonstrate this to you in practice, and will not brag about how many women have been in his bed.
He doesn't touch you
A sensual man enjoys not only sex itself, but also simple touches. If he is not looking for tactile contact with you, do not try to casually touch your hand, straighten a stray curl - do not expect exquisite foreplay. Sex with such a man will be boring and monotonous.
Behaving rudely
This is not about the fact that he is not sensitive enough with you, or allows himself to raise his voice - no one will behave like this on the first date, this is already a clinical case. Watch how he interacts with waiters, service staff, and a passerby who accidentally stepped on his foot. Any boor is an aggressor. You shouldn't expect good sex from him, even if you like it rougher. The most he can do is a couple of minutes of monotonous movements.
He doesn't care about your opinion
If he listens to you with half an ear and assures you that you should never have red wine with seafood, despite your assurances that this is how you like it, most likely this will make itself felt during intimacy. He knows everything better than you, why should he take into account your desires.
Lack of sense of humor
This doesn't mean that everyone is a born joker. good lover, not at all. But in bed without a sense of humor it’s not easy, every awkward situation, can ruin your mood for a long time and unsettle you.
He eats quickly and drinks quickly
Food is also sensual pleasure and by the way a man does this, one can judge what he will be like in sex. If he does it with pleasure, measuredly and thoroughly, then the sex will be of high quality - with long foreplay before and pleasant conversations after.
Let us also recall that we previously wrote about how to deal with feelings of jealousy. Find out more follow the link.
