First, let's answer the question - what is experience? This is the process of repeatedly comprehending a situation from the past or future. What is noteworthy is that experiences are triggered by people prone to this, however, they then live their own way. own life. In some cases, our inner world becomes a place of their independent, uncontrolled existence for an indefinite period.

Life goes by too quickly, and if you spend it on something that can’t be fixed anyway, on constantly irritating your wounds, then there will be no time left for something more important...
Oleg Roy. Web of Lies

It is considered absolutely normal to worry about some changes in your life, and about problems, as well as thinking about the future.

Sometimes it is experiences that push us to the right decision problems. But sometimes experiences go too far and become a chronic phenomenon. You urgently need to get rid of this and here are my 9 tips on how to,how to get rid of worries:

1. Acceptance of reality

We live in a very fickle world. Even the best laid plans can fall apart in the blink of an eye. If you learn to accept impermanence real world around you, your life will become much easier.

2. Live in the moment

You can stop worrying about the future by starting to live for today. Today you go to work and give yourself completely to it, today you communicate with family members and enjoy it. Today is just today. Evaluate the colors, smells, sensations today. The future is undoubtedly very important and there must be some kind of plan for it too, but don’t get lost in it. The sooner you understand this, the sooner you will begin to enjoy life!

3. Make an action plan

You can solve the problem of unnecessary worries by simply making an action plan. In order to achieve your goal, you need to think through a clear action plan. Make a list of tasks needed to achieve this goal.

4. Think positively

Throw away all the negativity and start living positively. Deliberately banish bad thoughts out of your head and believe in yourself. Set yourself up for positive emotions, and your life will change for the better!

5. Prioritize

Decide on your priorities and deal with each one individually. Get into the habit of writing down everything you do for the day. This way, fewer surprises will come your way. The feeling that your day was not in vain will help you relax.

6. Take action

Simply worrying will not help you solve all your problems, so try to leave the worry behind and start taking action. Plan your day by the hour and don’t leave a minute to worry. Solve your problems sequentially and as they arise. Try to rationally distribute your day and not leave a second for useless worries.

7. Keep a diary

Thoughts are always very abstract and sometimes very difficult to understand. They often distract you from important matters and lead you in a direction that is not at all necessary for you. Write down your thoughts, this will concretize and simplify them. This will help you deal with many serious problems in your life.

8. Just talk to someone

9. Do relaxation exercises

Breathing exercises, yoga, physical exercise, massage is still a small fraction of what can help you.

Learn to think soberly and you will get rid of stupid unnecessary worries.

Many people suffer from chronic anxiety. These tips may help solve this problem. If you know of any other ways to deal with constant worry, please share with us!

After a series of falling in love and breaking up, I realized: men come and go. I have come to terms with this fact. When a relationship doesn't develop the way I want, I don't take it to heart. I've learned to adjust my expectations. When a relationship falls apart or a man rejects me, I don’t blame myself.

I still believe in love - I will always believe in it. But in my eyes it has lost its magic. I began to treat love more realistically. When another relationship breaks up or the man turns out to be different from what I expected, I don’t go crazy with grief.

My heart warns me - don’t have too much hope, prepare for the worst. Even before starting a relationship with a man, I think about the consequences of breaking up with him. Before falling in love, I mentally prepare myself for suffering. In every acquaintance I see an inevitable separation. Potential love is scary because of the pain it can cause.

I'm tired of traveling a thousand kilometers for the sake of people who are not ready to take at least a few steps towards me

I was no longer the dreamy young girl who blindly followed my feelings and wanted more than anything to love and be loved. Now I don’t open my heart to people who will then tear it into pieces.

I'm tired of traveling a thousand kilometers for people who are not ready to take at least a few steps towards me. I have become older and wiser. Now I understand that romantic relationships are not the most important thing in life. I’d rather spend my energy and time on something more practical and real – like work. It brings returns commensurate with the investment. I will invest strength in myself and my development, instead of pinning my hopes on another person, I will spend time with loved ones. There's no point in worrying about those who won't be in my life for long.

I need a real stable relationship, not just passion and physical attraction that quickly evaporates

I need pragmatic love that makes sense. I don't need feelings that drive me crazy and make me do stupid things. It's no longer fun to chase love and fight for a happy ending that only exists in my imagination. I prefer to live by my own rules and not wait for someone to change their attitude towards me; I don’t want to waste time and energy on people who are unworthy of me.

I dream of a stable, comfortable future. I want to be the meaning of life for my man. I want natural love that I don't have to desperately fight for. I finally realized that I deserve more. And you are worthy too. You deserve all the love in this world, don't chase it.

To find love, forget about it

In order to meet love, you need to learn to switch, advises clinical psychologist Veronica Kazantseva.

When we want something badly, we create excess tension around the desire. We constantly think about it, make superhuman efforts to achieve what we want. In the case of love, we are looking for our one and only, looking closely at men, evaluating potential partners.

Such tension prevents you from enjoying life and paying attention to pleasant events. It also turns men off - when communicating with them we become tense, overly demanding or overly interested. This frightens and worries men. Often love comes when the brain “turns off.” We begin to communicate naturally - we enjoy interacting with another person and do not expect anything in return.

Don't get hung up on finding a potential partner. It's better to shift your focus, but it's important to do it right

If you switch to work with frantic zeal, the effect will be the opposite. You won't have the energy or time to personal life. People around you will think that you are only interested in work. Better do something interesting. Choose a hobby that will help you meet men: shooting club, climbing wall or pair dancing.

But meeting your hero is not the main goal. The main thing is that you need to gain experience communicating with different men. When a woman similar experience She figures out a lot about men herself. A woman transfers her projections to a potential partner and rejects him without having time to really get to know the person. Meet and flirt with men - having had enough of such communication, you will feel confident. Then you can see a man for who he is and make the right choice.

Details on how to deal with emotional experiences. Practice

What emotional experiences are there and how to live without unnecessary worries.

Greetings friends! Today we will learn to react correctly and cope with our experiences. How can you cope with the experience?

Often, in order to cope with something, you first need to stop fighting. Internal struggle creates additional stress and tension in the body and in some cases, in certain human conditions, for example, with severe mental exhaustion, the struggle itself will not only not produce results, but will only worsen the situation.

There is one wonderful saying - “If on your way you meet steep mountain and you can’t successfully climb to the top, it’s better to go around this mountain.”

There are several real and very effective ways"struggle" with emotions.

The first, as I already described in the article “,” is about how to relieve tension and cope with. Read more about this in the above article by following the link.

And now about natural way, very effective, which we should always apply in life, in fact we need to live by it. Many initially do this intuitively and therefore do not have many psychological problems.

This method not only allows you to cope with the experience and internal unpleasant feeling, but also leave it in the past forever. But for it to work, you need to feel it, feel it very deeply within yourself with all the accompanying sensations.

That is, keep in mind we're talking about not about mental experiences when you think, stress yourself out and only get worse, we are talking about a calm, “thoughtless” experience of this very sensation that you feel internally if you feel bad. We do not run away from this feeling and do not try in every way to get rid of it, and therefore it does not arise. internal struggle, and the feeling itself goes away much faster and without major consequences.

Now let’s look at something, let’s understand for ourselves what the experience itself is.

Experience is our natural state, we live by these experiences. Good or bad if we find ourselves in a difficult life situation.

Plus, there are Real experiences that are associated with real events and there is something that worries us very often, but is not ours natural experience. These are just mental (mental) experiences invented by us (our brain), which in the overwhelming majority are caused by anxiety (fear), doubts.

And these experiences almost never become reality - they are only in our heads. These are either our exaggerations (catastrophization of events and facts), or fiction (distortion, glitch in thinking), or the consequences of the struggle with real experience, far-fetched ideas that arose during this - thoughts, suggestions, etc.

A simple example,- the mother is worried that the child does not return home for a long time - this is the worst thing to eat natural experience, there is no point in fighting such an experience or somehow getting rid of it, because it is justified. And agree that we will worry until our child returns.

But if a woman constantly thinks about this, often frightens herself with some thoughts, begins to work herself up, build up, think out and imagine all sorts of supposed and most terrible troubles and imagine God knows what is in her head - this is no longer a real experience itself, this is a far-fetched one. and repeatedly, intensified experience which can result in obsession, anxiety disorder or even PA ().

Moreover, such thinking not only harms health and the psyche in particular, and deprives a person of normal, peaceful life, but not effective in its essence because it does not help a person to gather internally and act most effectively and sensibly.

In general, from time to time experiencing anxiety and fears in our lives is completely normal and we cannot fight natural experiences because they correspond real situation , some kind of real threat. And the main thing is that we are not enslaved by the irrational ones, far-fetched thinking fears and worries.

In 99.9% of cases, nothing terrible will happen in the described example with a child, but the woman still screwed herself up and such a strong experience can automatically (reflexively) arise later, every time, similar situation. Are such serious ones necessary? constant worries, which still would not have solved the problem and what’s more, would hardly have given the opportunity to act more logically, thoughtfully and correctly?

And sometimes, in general, there is a slight worry about some unpleasant situation, but the person immediately tries to get rid of the unpleasant feeling and throw everything out of his head, but this does not always work, and then he begins to look for a solution, allows his imagination to run wild, and begins to replay this situation in his head and then can't stop.

I thought it up, screwed it up and tortured myself even more instead of let me worry to his body that natural experiencing state, but without unnecessary thoughts and emotions, which would gradually leave it on its own, without heavy psychological consequences, here you just had to wait.

The sun brings life, but so does the rain. Agree, it is logical to arrive at various states- rejoice, be sad, have fun, be sad, etc. It’s important that if this happens, then let it happen naturally, without your trying to quickly get rid of something or invent something, so that you certainly feel better right now. If there is a reason for some feeling, then it is so, and it must be accepted as reality and live (experience) naturally.

Mainly these are far-fetched, mentally untwisted and inflated in the head, emotional experiences and artificial struggle with any of your experiences are main problem person. This is what worries us for the most part, and not our clean(real) experience that arose in its corresponding situation.

How to separate the natural and how to cope with emotions in general?

There is no point in fighting a real experience at all, because it appropriate to the situation and just produces a resource for us, for some necessary actions. But often we direct this resource not to actions, but to thoughts and struggle with the natural experience itself. We’re simply stressing ourselves out even more.

Why does this happen because people perceive their inner experiences as something bad. And first of all, this is done by OUR MIND itself.

The experience arises and the person begins to actively fight it. Fight because his brain tells him that this is bad, this is unpleasant, something needs to be done about it and he needs to get rid of it as soon as possible. And having gotten rid of it, you can calm down and begin to experience pleasant sensations again.

When a person enters into a struggle with this experience, with this state, trying to calm himself down or completely forget about it, what happens is internal conflict . And very often the opposite happens - the experience is even greater intensifies.

You yourself can remember how, while struggling with some experience or idea that haunts you and because of which you are often nervous, you looked for a way out, a solution, and excited yourself so much that then you could not fall asleep. Even somatic disorders arose, increased heartbeat, unpleasant sensations in the head, sweating, possibly trembling in the body and insomnia. Such a struggle can lead to death if you do not stop in time.

Now we understand that by nature,experiences are different, Real and Contrived (wrong), now what to do.

I’ll say right away that natural the experiences will not go away, they will only be cleared, and this will allow you to look at things more soberly and, on top of everything, it will teach you not to fight this real experience, but to accept it, chew it over, and use it for action, with a cooler head.

Likewise, those experiences that are caused by some serious organic or psychological illness. They will not go away so easily, because they are natural in this situation, but it is not a fact that they will not disappear after performing the exercise.

This is an exercise, we just try to chew it. It will allow you to get rid of all far-fetched, incorrect or self-inflicted experiences. Experiences that to a greater extent and they do not give you peace and do not allow you to open up to the experience that should arise from your past.

First you need slow down our minds, V in this case he is our enemy. We need to be friends with our thoughts, because our healthy thoughts faithful helpers and friends, but in this case what happens is that the brain sends a command and tells us that we need to immediately do something with this experience, that is, fight it, get rid of it so that it becomes easier, and this conflict.

We need to turn off our mind and leave this experience within ourselves, accept it and see what happens. That is, only itself will remain with us, pure experience.

How to do it- You close your eyes and simply allow your body to feel, allow it to experience. In this case, either some images may appear in the head (maybe completely incomprehensible), or some physical sensations in the body. For example, pulsation in the arm or vibration in the leg. And you need to observe this feeling.

It is important not to analyze with your brain, because it doesn’t need all this and resistance can be created. Everything must happen naturally. And be sure to bring this observation to the end. Until the image, changing, disappears completely, or the sensation that has arisen disappears. In this way, you can get rid of forever, even from outdated, inspired experiences.

And you don’t need to give this experience any assessments or compare it with other experiences that you once had, it is important to feel and stay with this experience that you have now.

In fact, this is just an experience, the very unpleasant, strongest experience from which we suffer is created our mind.

Very often this happens in life, what I survived difficult situation and having experienced strong feeling, that very natural experience leaves, and instead of it there remain those thoughts, those sensations and emotions that subsequently continue to disturb us, causing emotional experiences even in an environment that is not appropriate for them.

And for a person it is simply necessary to get rid of such unfounded experiences, first of all, in order to react correctly to the present (natural) experience in the future. And what is equally important is to learn not to avoid discomfort, anxious, exciting life situations which we often need to enter into. Do not be afraid of them and thereby remain calm and avoid difficult thoughts and internal sensations.

One time may not be enough for a certain emotional experience to disappear once and for all. Just repeat the exercise several (3-5) times, usually this is enough. But we remember that you need to carry the observation of an image or sensation to the very end; sometimes it may take only a few seconds, sometimes a few minutes.

There are people who “sick” with various fears, some ideas, try to fight them, try to run away from their experience (fear), try not to face it, thereby only strengthening this fear from the inside, but they just had to start experiencing it, allow yourself to experience it to the end, even though it can sometimes be very unpleasant. Experienced experience - lived (disappears)

This most unnatural (natural) behavioral exercise is very good to use with those experiences in the situation of which you do not act quite correctly, constantly experience stress, unconscious anxiety, obsessions and do not react adequately. It will help you get rid of everything unnecessary, far-fetched and preventing you from understanding this very unpleasant feeling that has arisen.

Start with small exercises first emotional experiences And unpleasant situations and, subsequently, move on to stronger ones.

And finally . X would like to introduce you to an excellent tool that I am sure will be useful to you. Good luck!

Dictionary Ozhegova.

worry

Efremova T.F. Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language.

worry

S.I.Ozhegov, N.Yu.Shvedova. Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language.

Anxious thoughts visit every person from time to time and different situations. Feelings of anxiety can be completely justified - we worry about ourselves and our loved ones, and this is normal. But often anxiety becomes an obstacle to normal functioning. How to cope with pathological anxiety on your own, without the help of a psychotherapist? Let's take a look useful tips who will help in this matter.

Learn to breathe.

A great way to tame anxiety and learn to manage this feeling is deep breathing. Few people know what processes occur in the human body when he breathes deeply and consciously. In addition to the fact that all organs are saturated with oxygen, very rapid relaxation also occurs. Thanks to this, it is possible to get rid of anxiety, which sometimes fetters. If you learn to breathe correctly, deeply, anxiety attacks will become rare guests. Get rid of the habit of shallow breathing, practice deep inhalations and exhalations wherever you are, and soon this skill will become automatic.

Don’t let negativity enter your soul and head.

Very often anxiety is the result of regular intake negative information. Stop watching the news, delve into other people's problems less often if you are not going to help. Spend more time with positive people, who with their cheerful, optimistic attitude instill faith in goodness. If you begin to consciously choose the information that you are going to let into your head and soul, you will worry much less often.

Work on positive thinking.

Starting to think positively is not an easy task. To do this, you need to daily tune yourself to appropriate thinking, control and filter your thoughts. Carefully select the thoughts that you begin to scroll and develop in your head. Thoughts give rise to emotions, and emotions can take control of our actions and influence our mental state. Therefore, start your every morning with the mental attitude that something wonderful will definitely happen to you.

Get rid of the desire to control everything and everyone.

The beauty of our life is that we are not able to keep everything under control. But there is no point in worrying and worrying about this. Do what you can and hope for the best without worrying about hypothetical troubles that could happen to you or your loved ones. Let go of control and enjoy the present moment without demanding the impossible from yourself. Influence what you can influence, and let the rest out of your thoughts. Freedom and anxiety are born in the head, and this can only happen when you give up the desire to control everything.

Remember that anxiety, like fear, disappears if you don’t “feed” them. Don't feed your anxiety negative thoughts, but on the contrary, invest your efforts in optimism and love of life. Your self-confidence, success and bright future will attract positive events!