Psychologists believe that up to 20% of the world's population suffer from loneliness to one degree or another. If you too find yourself feeling this way, know that you are not alone. Here's what else is useful to know about this condition.
HOW TO LIVE AS A SINGLE WOMAN
Research shows that loneliness can cause serious harm to your health if it bothers you. Possible problems from outside cardiovascular diseases, various depressive states. The good news is that all of these processes are quite easily reversible, and strong relationships with family and close friends reduce stress, improve immunity, and can even fill your life with meaning.
Shared apartments are not just for students, but are also becoming increasingly popular with older people. Many older people don't want to live alone, but don't want to go indoors. There are many benefits collaboration in old age. As a result of the work, you can support each other again and again in everyday life. Joint action and interests can be pursued jointly. Excursions are easier to plan and implement. Often the younger generation in the form of roommate's family members can visit.
LONELINESS IS CONTAGIOUS
Like any other experience, joyful and uplifting or anxious and depressing. Doctor of psychology Susan Newman argues that when a person tells his loved ones about the feeling of loneliness, they begin to discover the same signs in themselves. According to a study published in the journal Social Psychology, the degree of distribution of this feeling reaches three: that is, it goes along the chain you - your friend / friend of your friend / friend of your friend’s friend.
This way you will always be up to date latest events and don't lose touch with young people who can also support you. You have freedom regarding the topics you want to communicate. Our goal is to benefit from your knowledge and life experience and provide other readers with important ideas and information. All authors of our guide also have the opportunity to ask questions about various topics community and even answer questions from others. If we have piqued your interest, please do not hesitate to contact us.
We look forward to your support! Loneliness is born within us. If you follow the tips above, you can help make sure you don't feel lonely and isolated. Analyze your situation - take your time and write down your thoughts. Ask yourself what you are satisfied with and what you are not. Try to figure out what you are missing in order to feel comfortable and accepted. Think about what options you have to get what you want and write down those decisions. Keep in mind that you don't have to turn to other people if you're not feeling well.
And just as hunger signals that it's time for you to eat, loneliness signals that it's time for you to receive companionship.
YOU MAY EXPERIENCE LONELINESS EVEN IF YOU HAVE A LARGE SOCIAL CIRCLE
Because it's not the quantity that matters social connections, but their depth and trustworthiness. To paraphrase the saying “don’t have a hundred rubles, but have a hundred friends,” it would be more correct to say “don’t have a hundred friends, make do with four.”
It is often more satisfying when you find the right job for you and are able to pursue your passions and interests. Think positively and keep in mind that long life should be happiness and without burden! People who are interested in social work can get involved in helping people at the Caritas Social Welfare Center. Voluntary support circle complements high quality social work performed by staff members and offers those affected additional personal attention and warmth.
THE FEELING OF LONELINESS INCREASES WITH AGE
Because the closeness of relationships in our lives is very often due to similar interests and persists as long as the interests coincide. So, first you make friends at school, then at work, then young mothers become your loved ones.
Having a large number of friends on social networks does not mean that you are not at risk of loneliness
Socially engaged citizens can contribute to a responsible, people-oriented cause. The Helping Circle cares for older fellow citizens who are declining in health and losing mobility and communication. Some of them have no relatives and feel lonely and abandoned. But caring relatives also offer helpers the opportunity to relax. With these and other similar services, the support circle helps.
As long as you have a social circle in which you share the same topic, you don’t feel lonely. As life goes on, and even more so with retirement, such circles become fewer and fewer.
LIVING SINGLE: A CONSEQUENCY FROM THE PREVIOUS POINT
As your interests diverge, your degree of closeness will decrease. But this does not mean that every time you have to leave old friends and make situationally new ones. No, it’s just worth considering that the frequency of your contacts with colleagues former job will decrease, and with colleagues in a new way - will increase. And it’s completely normal to meet very old friends once every six months or a year, but at the same time continue to love and respect each other.
Caritas Volunteer Center in Altötting
The Volunteer Center provides you with volunteer opportunities where help seekers and helpers eagerly await your help. Even during your activity, the Volunteer Center is always ready to help and advise.
Caritas Tourist Service Burghausen
Go for a walk, read aloud, play games, or just talk to each other. Regularly, once a week, our volunteers visit one person for about 1 hour each. Since the same person is always visited by separate helpers, small friendships often accumulate, which not only pleases the visiting person, but also the helpers.FEELINGS OF LONELINESS ARE DIRECTLY AFFECTED BY JOB LOSS, DIVORCE AND CHILDREN GROWING UP
If you keep this in mind, you can avoid depression by preparing for these events in advance.
THE FEELING OF LONELINESS IS DECREASED WHEN ACTIVITIES WITH SOMEONE TOGETHER
When a person feels useful, he does not suffer from his experiences. Therefore, even if you have no friends, any collective work, including volunteering, will save you from suffering. At the same time, you get a chance to find like-minded people who can become your friends.
They are lonely, mostly elderly people who often cannot leave their home or apartment alone, to whom our volunteers provide entertainment and games. Using the visiting service is free. To exchange experiences among volunteers, regular meetings are held at Social center Caritas in Burghausen at intervals of about 6 weeks. In addition, additional training events are often organized for our assistants.
Volunteers want to expand the offer to senior citizens and ask relatives to contact
Attending the service: Kathleen Kvoos, Ursula Hunderecker, Manfred Teubner, Eva Reinecke, Dieter Hunderecker, Gudrun Werner, Ruth Mamma and Bianca Pardey. The old people are well supplied. However, what they often miss is interpersonal relationships, not related to care. - People who listen to them and talk to them about everyday life and the past. The outreach service of the Office for the Elderly in Barsinghausen has set out to reduce this shortage somewhat.
THE FEELING OF LONELINESS HARMS NOT ONLY YOUR MIND, BUT PHYSICAL WAY TOO
How do lonely people live? Can a person live life alone? Doctors note that the development of diseases in lonely people is comparable to the same diseases as smokers or overweight people.
There are currently 14 women and one man volunteering to take care of the elderly in free time who live alone and have virtually no social contacts. Some of the staff have been with us for many years. They visit elderly people in nursing homes, some at home in their own homes. Volunteers must invest at least two hours per month in their activities. However, most members of the current team have significantly more exposure to “their” seniors. Eva Reinecke has been working in Visiting Services for eleven years - almost every day.
LONELINESS SHORTENES YOUR LIFE
How to live as a single childless woman? A five-year study of 300,000 older people around the world found that older people living alone were 33% more likely to die for equal period with old family people.
HAVING A LARGE NUMBER OF FRIENDS ON SOCIAL NETWORKS DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU WILL NOT BE LONELY
Because we are talking specifically about the depth of connections, and not about their quantity. This is how social loneliness arises.
Reading aloud, talking, walking - these are so few things we do and we are so grateful. Gudrun Werner regularly visits the crazy lady and, according to her in my own words, is always surprised by what could be stimulated in conversation with people. “Suddenly they remember things from their youth.” Werner emphasizes that employees also benefit from their work: “I am always satisfied with a happy home.”
Sometimes, during regular visits, during shared walks or outings, friendships also develop, says Dieter Hunderecker. “If one of the elders dies, it’s not easy for us.” But the assistants kept in touch with each other and shared their experiences.
BUT FOR LACK OF BETTER, VIRTUAL FRIENDS ARE GOOD
If only because it is still communication, and with a successful combination of circumstances, you can find common ground in real life, especially if you live in the neighborhood.
TECHNOLOGY CAN GET YOU CONTACTS WITH YOUR DISTANT RELATIVES
If you live thousands of kilometers from each other, then using Skype or other voice and video communication systems you can communicate with each other every day.
Feelings of loneliness are directly affected by job loss, divorce, and growing children.
Last year the number of assistants remained constant. There are new employees, but some people - mostly young ones - have had to give up their voluntary work due to professional commitments, Hungerecker says. We even had a Chinese on the team. He used the time to improve his knowledge of the German language.
If necessary, he sends the visitor to the elderly. This is more difficult when older people live at home. There are a lot of lonely people at home, says Bianca Pardey. She has worked for Visiting Services for four years and believes that many seniors or their relatives have been hesitant to contact Visiting Services. Thus, the holosector uses the meeting for a double call: we are always glad to have more assistants.
While many of us have been rushing around these past few weeks preparing to celebrate the birth of our Savior, others are experiencing great loneliness. They struggled through the holidays, waiting for the new year to begin.
Many of these lonely and hurting people will be sitting in the chairs of your church this Christmas. You may never understand the depth of loneliness they feel.
We ask the elderly in the home or their relatives to contact us if necessary, otherwise we have little means of contact. About 1.2 million people in Switzerland are over 75 years of age. If the power is always a coarse-grained network of contacts from the former professional world, from family, friends and associates, when the energy to call again is remembered, with good friend softens, or if activity is no longer possible for health reasons, it gradually disappears. Stay in the company.
The Internet doesn't care about your age
The feeling of loneliness then easily leads to real social isolation. WITH in small steps you can get out of the situation. Here are some tips from the Swiss Red Cross. Choose what suits you best! Treat yourself well: set the table for yourself, cook something nice, treat yourself. Get involved in your neighborhood: visit cultural events, become a member of the association. Be open to new things: take courses such as language courses for older people, get involved in volunteering. Use offers from organizations such as visiting and escorting. Don't set your expectations too high environment. Be lenient if others don't have time. Encourage visitors to visit and use services to get out of the house more often.
- Maintain contacts: Invite neighbors and acquaintances.
- Show interest in the lives of others.
Wanda, whose husband died in October, said: “I realized that Christmas is not just a holiday, it is a whole season in itself. And it lasts longer than spring, summer, autumn and winter combined!”
The feelings of this widow are what so many suffering people feel as they painfully go through the holidays. Because of the expectation that things will get easier once life returns to normal, the most difficult time It seems like a few days before Christmas and a week between Christmas and New Year.
Online contacts function regardless of the distance between participants - an advantage especially in old age, as many people have limited mobility. For seniors who have never worked with computers or the Internet, there are numerous introductory courses available.
Some sites against loneliness
By the way: best trainers- These are mostly grandchildren. Dare to ask children for advice and learning! Basically, there are still a lot of things that need to be improved on websites, especially for older people. Moreover, the University's research applied sciences St. Gallen shows that some older people tend to perceive “older people” as marginal. It's about about participating online in principle and discussing “hot topics” - and not being pushed into specialist areas.
Below are some practical tips you can use to help hurting and lonely people in your church get through the holidays.
1. Explain that loneliness is a normal emotion.
Establishing the feeling of loneliness during the holidays as normal is key to helping people cope with it. Both people who are hurting and those around them in the church need to know that intense loneliness during the holidays is a normal, expected emotion for people who have experienced loss.
It is developed and operated by more than 100 volunteers. They write texts for their generation, develop networks and organize events. The online platform offers a wealth of information, offers and new opportunities for users. The visitor can also use reading and games without registration. You're guaranteed to find someone who enjoys hitting the pusher with you and two other players at any time of the night. By the way, at night you will often meet Swiss people abroad in North or South America.
Best of all, when you play your cards, you can chat with other players in the chat window at the same time - subject to the rules of the game, of course. Do you know any other useful page online? Share it as a comment on this article! The user gets the feeling that he is talking to a real person.
Lonely people sitting in your church may look around and think that they are alone in their feelings. They are so caught up in their own personal crisis that they don't realize that other people in the room are going through the same thing, and perhaps even on a deeper level. All they know is their small, suffering world, in which they feel isolated and abandoned in their suffering.
In this black box, reminiscent of a coffee machine, lives a bluish girl, Azuma Hikari. Instead of just listening to one voice, the user here gets a virtual character presented from an anime. According to the manufacturer, Hikari is 20 years old. She loves watching anime, loves donuts, and doesn't like insects. Her dream is to be a hero and help people who work hard. Helping people should also be the developer's goal because the ad portrays Hikari as a friend.
Through a motion sensor, the box detects where someone is in the room and can therefore interact with the user in a very personal level. Using a camera and microphone, the device recognizes face and voice, lists appointments and adapts to the user's rhythm of life.
I know how they feel because I was in that situation at one point in my life. My husband went to be with the Lord at the end of October. My adult children lived in another city. On top of all this, there was a flood in my house a few days before Christmas. On Christmas Eve, I sat in my house with furniture up on bricks, the carpet torn off, and my heart filled with sadness.
I've never felt so alone. I didn't want to face the next day or the next week. I was wondering how I would ever get through New Year's Eve, an evening that was very special and personal for my husband and me. When I went to church, I was sure that all the people had made special plans for New Year's Eve. I was sure that there would be no one in the room as lonely as I was at that moment.
Help the hurting and lonely people in your church understand that they are not the only ones experiencing deep loneliness, and these feelings will not always be as intense as they are right now. Then remind them what Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 says: “There is a time for everything... a time to cry, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.”
Lonely people may even doubt whether God knows how lonely they are. Remind them of God's promises in the Scriptures, of His constant, abiding presence. Remind them that no matter how they feel, the truth is that God is there with them.
2. Be sensitive to people who are suffering and lonely when it comes to holiday celebrations.
Church leaders often plan holiday events months in advance. However, when events collide with the holidays themselves, it is important to take a few minutes to evaluate how your events are perceived by a widower who recently lost his dear wife to cancer; a young couple who had a miscarriage; a recently divorced person or others in your congregation who are going through a crisis.
Perhaps a widower who has lost his wife to cancer can be warned in advance that the Christmas musical will deal with a sensitive topic (the illness and death of a young mother). He will be able to determine for himself whether it will be too much stress for him to attend this year's musical.
Or consider the situation of David, a divorced father. David's church planned a New Year's Eve party. New Year's Eve fell on the weekend his children were visiting his mother, and he was glad that the church offered something to take his mind off the kids. He also expected to be able to spend time and socialize with other single parents. It snowed all day before the New Year, but that didn’t stop David. He spent almost two hours getting to the church, but when he arrived, the parking lot in front of the building was empty. There was a handwritten note on the door that said: "Due to the snow storm, we have canceled the event because we feel everyone needs to be safe at home with their family tonight."
For David it was like a slap in the face. He later shared with me that although he understood that the minister in charge of the event had a family and he probably wanted to be home with his family, warm and comfortable, but David and others who did not have family at that time evening, it made me feel more alone than ever. He said that even if they had phrased the note differently, it would have helped.
If you have an event that may be canceled due to... inclement weather, come up with a backup plan. If an event is canceled in advance for another reason, consider rescheduling it for another time. Remember, if an event has been announced at your church, you will not be able to send out a standard cancellation email to everyone. You will need someone at the event who is willing to meet people not affiliated with the church, or include in your promotional materials telephone number, which you can call and check if the weather worsens.
3. Call for help from families at church.
Think about David's situation described above. What if some family at church, seeing the bad weather, had texted him a little earlier that day and invited him to join them that evening on New Year's Eve? Create an awareness among your church members of the need to reach others in the Body of Christ who may be lonely during the holidays.
Many church members may be out of town for Christmas or New Year, however, they are capable of sending a message or calling a lonely widower or divorced mother. The key is to let the lonely person know that someone is actually thinking about them and remembering them.
Another suggestion is to find a family in the church that could be paired with a single-parent family. Encourage families in your church to reach single-parent families during the week between Christmas and New Year's. They can invite them for coffee or have a tea party for the girls or a hot chocolate party with sports mugs for the boys. And if single parents need to go to work, which often happens to single parents during the holidays when school is closed, children from another family can invite their children to spend time with them.
Perhaps the most practical advice of all - send out handwritten notes. This can be done in the week between Christmas and New Year. This will show lonely people that they were and are being remembered during this lonely time. Knowing that someone in your church took the time to write them a note will give them hope. It doesn't have to be a Christmas card and it doesn't have to be written on fancy letterhead. (And don't copy one handwritten note!)
David Bueno Martin, one of the GriefShare: Surviving the Holidays experts reminds us: “Healing from grief occurs in the context of community. I don't know of any other way to find healing that isn't in a context where you find other people who can help you."
4. Inspire new traditions
After divorce or the death of a family member, starting new traditions can really reduce loneliness. This can help distract attention from what led the lonely person to at this moment in life. This can give new life to a lonely person.
“Creating new traditions really helps because it gives me a way to celebrate what I have instead of what I don't have.”, says Monica, a divorced single mother. “It’s a way to start over and start again. I'll definitely be busy next Christmas thinking of new ways to spend it. Because trying to do it the old way is just sad.”
Next simple sentences can help suffering people make small adjustments in their views and not be burdened by constant reminders of the things that make them sad. But remember that while new traditions are good, it is important to remember the value of past traditions and preserve some of them as well. The ideas described below will help suffering people not to focus only on what is left in their past, but to begin to look forward little by little, one step at a time.
- Move the Christmas tree to a different location or decide to decorate it with fewer jewelry or with other decorations.
- Bake a different kind of cookie and share it with your neighbors, the homebound, the single parent's family.
- Make other plans for Christmas or New Year's Eve. One single mother took her fifth-grader son on a cruise the first Christmas after her divorce. It's a new memory he will always treasure.
- You may want to plan to purchase all of your Christmas food from a restaurant or store that specializes in preparing holiday food instead of preparing everything yourself.
- Think of a way to help someone else enjoy the holidays. Every year I went with my children to see the Christmas display and lights of the Rhema Bible Center in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. After they grew up and left home, I had a very lonely Christmas ahead of me. I decided to do something new this year and I got lucky five year old boy from a single-parent family to look at the Rema Christmas lighting. For him it was as if he had been in a fairy tale. I was able to look at these lights and lighting with new eyes, and it greatly reduced my loneliness. It brought me joy and laughter, and of course this boy too.
5. Emphasize the true meaning of Christmas.
Help hurting and lonely people remember that this time marks the birth of our Savior. It seems that this fact is often lost, and when lonely people can be reminded of it, it will help them focus on the reason for the holiday.
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“If there was no pain, suffering, sin, destruction, disappointment and death, there would be no need for Christmas.”, says Dr. Paul David Tripp, one of the experts on Sharing the Grief: Surviving the Holidays. “This holiday is also about suffering. This holiday is also about pain. Jesus came to end suffering. He came to end death. He came to end sin, brokenness, pain, destruction and disappointment. So it's more of a holiday for those who suffer than a holiday they need to avoid.
As a suffering person, I must run towards Christmas. Christmas tells me that there is hope for people like me going through what I am going through. Christmas ensures that God has, has, and will continue to deal with what I’m going through.”
Author - Linda Jacobs/careleader.org
Translation - Vitaly Rogonsky For
