Striving for excellence. Striving for Excellence – Just Get Started! Antonyms and synonyms

Happy is the one who does not argue with God, but recognizes the perfection of the Universe, and therefore his own, as its part.

In one of her books, Jill Edwards suggested very interesting exercise. You need to identify the problem that worries you. And try to write the reason for it. Just do it with the hand you don't usually write with. This cunning approach allows us to deceive our rational mind.

Soon my left hand clumsily, but very accurately, she gave an answer that puzzled me somewhat. And I continued to ask questions, only now to the answers I received.

The final result was a complete surprise to me. At least, it had simply never crossed my mind before. As it turned out, the basis of everything was my perfectionism (from the English perfection) - .

Looks like it's great! But in fact, this aspiration presupposes Constant Rejection of What Already Is, or of What You Have Done.

Of course, I have more than once noticed the ability to be Dissatisfied with the results your work or yourself.

But I didn’t think that everything had been neglected to such an extent that even my subconscious gave it to me.

It turns out that I am constantly assessed her actions from the perspective of something Not Done, or Done Not So Well.

And this constant Dissatisfaction with my Imperfection prevented me from enjoying life?

But God created every person Perfect!

We cannot understand this until we step outside of ourselves and see ourselves as Part of Holistic System called the Universe. She needs us (like all the existing diversity of species) exactly as we were created!

There are no nobler and sweeter plants,
Than black cypress and white lily.
He, having a hundred hands, does not poke them forward;
She is always silent, having a hundred languages.

Omar Khayyam

My husband has been studying astrology for many years, has looked at many horoscopes, and each time he becomes more and more convinced of how wise and perfect the horoscope of each of us looks. Some planets in it are weak, others, on the contrary, are very pronounced. Thanks to this, certain qualities embedded in us from birth.

And as God’s Creations, we are perfect precisely in these qualities, and in the place where we should be!

If by birth we are destined to develop something in ourselves, we will definitely do it!

Fate itself will bring us to this!

And he will choose very different methods!

After all, Life has a very good Sense of Humor!

This is clearly visible in a person’s horoscope. If something is not given to him, it is only so that he develops in the direction that was intended by God.

And in order to fulfill our Purpose, we need to Communicate, Collide, Find Compromises, Get into trouble, Make Mistakes and Build Relationships with a variety of people.

Imagine for a second if there were billions of clones of you around you?

And could you absolutely accurately predict what your Double is thinking (or doing) now?

How would you live if surrounded only by yourself?

We are being "forged and polished" difficult situations and hard times.

For the hero of the wonderful film "Groundhog Day"( If you haven't watched it, I recommend it) each day starts on the second of February. He lives the same events of that day a little differently, learns a lot, begins to look at Life with “different eyes”!

But the unbearable monotony of the same day, from which he cannot escape, leads him to despair and to suicide.

That doesn't stop him from starting the day all over again the next morning.

When you transport yourself into the reality of this hero’s life, you better understand that

Perfection lies in the diversity of the world! And in us, as parts of it!

Even criminals are needed for something (just as absolutely any plant and animal maintains the balance of the entire ecosystem).

Everything is very thoughtful and interconnected.

And it is precisely certain qualities and character traits of one person that make it possible to maintain the overall Balance in the “Ocean of all Fates.”

Our desire for perfection is illusory. It comes from a position of Non-Acceptance of Self!

And this prevents us from revealing ourselves fully, as unique personality and a piece of the Universe.

We can achieve so much more if we begin to Accept ourselves as we were created!

As soon as we begin to see and appreciate our Uniqueness, then it begins to manifest itself in Full Measure!

The wise Mary Poppins knew this well when she sang:

"Oh, what bliss, to know that I am Perfection,

to know that I am the Ideal!”

ALL THE GOOD TO YOU.

WITH GRATITUDE! ARINA

The pursuit of excellence can be amazing, delightful and rewarding for human potential. - this is a game of snooker with a maximum break of 147 points, the story “The Death of Ivan Ilyich” by Tolstoy, an Olympic gold medal for diving from ten meters, “Matthew Passion” by Bach, the pavilion of Mies van der Rohe (Ludwig Mies van der Rohe) in Barcelona...

Perfectionism can manifest itself in any area of ​​life, but in some areas it is most noticeable.

1. Material sphere

This may be the desire for an absolutely pure, harmonious and beautiful environment. For example, a spotless kitchen or a calm living room. Or it could be an office in which all sockets and wires are hidden, there is not a single extra piece of paper on the desktop and there is a drawer for each thing.

2. Relationships

In the romantic sphere there is also a deep desire for perfection. This strong desire to be fully understood by another person who has beauty, intelligence, high spiritual qualities and kindness. We can dream of a perfect family where children get along well with each other, share everything with their parents and do their homework with enthusiasm.

3. Art

In art, too, you can feel the power of perfectionism. We want to paint a picture that perfectly conveys the mood. To do, which expresses a certain experience. Write a story that, while reading, takes you to a specific place.

The natural mechanism of perfectionism

We become perfectionists because our imaginations can masterfully create improved ways of living. And in some situations this is useful and even necessary. We need the ability to imagine good scripts to receive and focus on their execution. Yes, on early stages human history people had to use their imagination and imagine things in order to survive: required stock drinking water, a way to protect yourself from wild animals at night...

Ideally, imagination should fuel ambitions that are within practical reach, and that's it. But in reality, imagination goes beyond these limits. It is poorly adapted to objective assessment our abilities and how welcoming outside world will respond to our wishes.

It seems that we are endowed by nature with a mechanism that is useful for the species as a whole, but does not provide special benefits to the individual.

Like a salmon that jumps out of the water to overcome waterfalls, we are programmed to do certain things (conquer, conquer, master) that are not related to our abilities.

Nature doesn't care that we are unable to write an outstanding sonata or come up with an original business idea. Imagination cannot influence our abilities. By the way, only one salmon in a thousand reaches end point of your journey.

Part of the blame lies with modern device peace. Until recently, few people cared about ambition. And then America appeared. Since the 1940s, the American Dream has been at its most different manifestations begins to actively spread throughout the world. More and more more people believes that everyone can achieve career heights, material well-being and happiness family life; What sexual relations possible with the same person for decades; that all neighbors can be good friends; that children respect and value their parents. The American Dream expanded the possibilities of happiness and at the same time added problems with perfectionism.

Perfectionism has spread to those areas human activity, in which it is impossible to achieve perfection by following universal rules: they simply do not exist. However, a certain concept of the norm has appeared, and everything that does not fit into it is perceived by a person as...

Striving for excellence is essential

Usually in articles about it is immediately stipulated that in real life the desire for perfection only gets in the way and therefore should be abandoned. And a perfectionist is most often called a person who they want to criticize for ridiculous, unnecessary high standards for yourself and others. Perfectionism is on a par with fussiness, pedantry or obsession.

But perfectionism is not always a bad thing. And what is most surprising is that when we come across things that seem perfect to us, like, say, the music of Bach or the villas of Palladio (Andrea Palladio), we do not call their creators perfectionists.

You just need to approach the understanding of perfectionism a little differently. First you need to know how much effort it will take to make something work well. In cultures like ours, which tend to try to please the consumer, the suffering of the creator is safely hidden from prying eyes. A restaurant visitor will never know how many nights the chef stayed awake worrying about new dishes on the menu. The child has no idea of ​​the efforts, doubts and worries that his parents have to deal with. We don't think about the problems encountered in the cockpit, in the factory, or in the conference room.

It's only when we take the path from consumer to creator that we realize how complex everything really is. And that perhaps our efforts and abilities will not be enough.

Good perfectionism involves the ability to endure the pain of imperfection - of yourself and those around you - over a long period. Success requires forgiving yourself for the horrors of the first draft.

We need this kind of patience when it comes to love. An enraged perfectionist sometimes wants to lash out, but no one has ever changed if they called him nasty names and slammed the door in his face. Of course, sometimes the disappointment in a partner can be so great that you can lose your self-control. This may end in shouting when all you need to do is patiently and calmly explain your point of view. For the perfectionist good decision will not give up his own, but will learn to explain his motives and emotions and share them. It’s just that sometimes it’s difficult for a perfectionist to put himself in the shoes of another person who is less striving for perfection.

Influencing another, trying to make him better is a matter that requires enormous reserves of kindness, patience and gentleness. And you must admit, this is much more difficult than being punctual or maintaining perfect cleanliness in the kitchen.

When to give up perfectionism

The trick is that when something is good enough, you have to be able to recognize it. Perfectionists often continue to strive for an unattainable ideal. This is how they feel: “If I’m late, the whole meeting will be ruined. If the car is scratched, I won't be able to enjoy driving. If it’s in the room, I’ll feel uncomfortable.”

To cope with the problem, you need to understand that, despite some imperfection, something can continue to be attractive.

Getting rid of perfectionism is not easy if it is second nature to you. But three things can help you with this...

1. Statistics and observation

Since only success stories usually appear in the media, you need to look for more objective information. Couples, business failures happen, good people fall into despair - you need to understand why this happens.

2. Sense of humor

In Woody Allen's films "Mr. Hulot's Holiday" or "Annie Hall," the characters are far from perfect, but on the whole they are good people who deserve love and sympathy. We laugh at them not out of contempt, but because we are fascinated by them. A klutz crashes into a door, a nerd gets rejected by a girl, someone gets fired, a vacation goes badly - and yet we don't feel depressed. Humor helps us see that everything doesn't have to be perfect to have fun.

3. Friends with whom you can openly discuss failures

We pay too much for our secrecy high price. We are in a glossy world, where to be normal person- means to be successful. We don't want to look stupid, we don't want people to discuss our failures. But in most situations, this is the norm, and our adversities are very common. To learn to live at peace with yourself, you need to recognize your own imperfections.

Everyone has encountered perfectionists in their lives. But not everyone knows the meaning of this term. Who is a perfectionist? A person who is characterized by perfectionism. In that case, what is perfectionism? Many definitions can be given, but, in general, this is psychological state, the belief that an ideal exists and can be achieved. If we talk in simple language, a perfectionist likes everything to be perfect. But only he himself determines the degree of perfection.

History of the term

People began to talk about such a concept as perfectionism back in the 19th century. Kant, Leibniz and other famous thinkers wrote about him. They described perfectionists as people who strive to improve in terms of morality. And perfectionism was even considered one of the theories of the philosophy of superman. The term itself is borrowed from English language: the words perfect, perfection mean “perfection”, “ideal”.

Gradually, perfectionism turned from giftedness into a special psychological state. And then people began to see this as a pathology. And, indeed, some perfectionists drive themselves to the point of paranoia, trying to achieve an ideal result in anything.

There is a theory that perfectionism develops in childhood. The “excellent student syndrome,” which is present in some children, does not allow them to relax. The child always strives to be the best in everything, but otherwise he not only gets upset, but gets hysterical. Moreover, he is not afraid of his parents’ anger, no. A perfectionist child feels responsible to himself, unable to give in. And this is the worst thing, because such a condition can develop not only into neurotic perfectionism, but also into other serious psychological disorders. Therefore, psychologists recommend that parents not focus on their children’s performance.

Is perfectionism good or bad? It is difficult to talk about this because each case must be considered individually. This trait does not interfere with someone’s life, and the person receives true pleasure because everything is going well. But at the same time, he is not very upset if everything does not go perfectly. But when pathological form a person attaches too much perfectionism great value absolutely everything. Based on this, we can conclude that such perfectionism is not needed by anyone: not the bearer of quality himself, nor his environment.

Am I a perfectionist?

You can recognize a tendency toward perfectionism in yourself by simple test. Take a look at these photos.

Do they drive you crazy? If you felt angry, nervous, or simply pursed your lips contemptuously, it means there is a perfectionist in you. It’s hardly possible to congratulate you on this, because life is probably hard for you.

Perfectionists have a special character trait – procrastination.

This is when a person doesn’t save much nice job for later, justifying himself by saying that he can do better. This can continue indefinitely until the so-called deadline comes - the moment when it is no longer possible to postpone. And then the perfectionist begins to panic: he is forced to start this work, realizing that there is no escape. But lack of inspiration and fear of getting an imperfect result leads to the fact that everything does not go well.

By the way! One form of perfectionism is anorexia - exhaustion of the body caused by refusal of food. Girls suffering from it strive for what they consider to be an ideal appearance.

It is noteworthy that perfectionists can have a pathological desire for excellence in one area, but do not pay attention to others. That is, such a person will have a certain fad for some specific point. And an excellent student, for example, who devotes all her time to studying, will not necessarily carefully monitor her weight.

Four signs

To more accurately understand who a perfectionist is, you need to study the main signs of perfectionism.

1. Think long and carefully about your decisions. This affects not only at work, but also in everyday situations. If your friend spends more than an hour choosing a bag between two models she likes, then she is clearly a perfectionist. Moreover, she may ask for your opinion, but not be satisfied with any answer.
2. Spend a lot of time doing something. If this is a working project, then you can rest assured that the perfectionist will not be able to deliver it on time. Firstly, he will be overcome by procrastination at first. And, secondly, he will constantly correct something, adjust it, trying to bring it to the ideal. And sometimes even the perfectionist himself does not know where this ideal is.
3. Taking on one task, giving it up halfway and returning to the beginning is another symptom of perfectionism. Good example: beautiful handwriting in a new notebook. Remember yourself: you, too, are probably trying to fill out the first page with even letters, and then everything goes wrong. Well, that's okay. But not for the perfectionist! He will tear out a damaged page or start a new notebook.
4. Get irritated and angry if something is not quite perfect. If your friend starts freaking out because someone poked their finger at the top of the birthday cake, ruining the whole whipped cream look a little, who is he? Perfectionist.

All 4 characteristics rarely fit into one personality. Usually it is one thing, but very obvious, characteristic. And it’s very difficult for a perfectionist to live. He himself understands this perfectly well. Perfectionism at work is especially difficult to bear. Because a person is responsible not only to himself, but also to the team and superiors. Failure to complete tasks can lead not only to nervous breakdown, but also to deprivation of the bonus. And such double responsibility becomes the reason for even greater panic attacks. A person is constantly in tension; he does not allow himself to relax. Hence the problems: conflicts at work, taking out anger on family.

But it’s easy to please a perfectionist. It is enough to give him a reproduction of Malevich’s “Square”, sign a postcard using a stencil for letters, or simply show him a picture with ideal outlines (see below).

Curious! There is a humorous statement circulating on the Internet, which, in fact, is taken from psychology and philosophy at the same time. It says that there are people who could do it perfectly, but simply don’t want to or don’t see the point. They are called existentialist perfectionists.

Is there any danger?

Many people are sure that perfectionism is a disease that must be fought. But psychologists don't think so. After all, there is simple form, which does not develop into pathology. And if you cut the cake strictly along the lines drawn with cream or like to cut the carrots into soup into even cubes and not into parallelepipeds, then this is normal. It’s another matter when the nonsense things listed above become too significant for you. And if, because of uneven pieces of carrots, you refuse to eat soup or an incorrectly cut cake flies into the wall, then you should think about how to deal with perfectionism. Because this is already a pathology.

If you are interested in the idea of ​​striving for perfection, and you are thinking about how to become a perfectionist, it is better to immediately change your mind. There's nothing fun about it because perfectionism will often frustrate you rather than bring you joy.

Ways to combat pathology

Perfectionism is part of the structure of psychological disorders, not mental disorders, but it can still greatly interfere with someone’s life. If you want to know how to overcome perfectionism, then you either suffer from this disorder yourself, or you want to help a relative or friend overcome it. Let's look at 8 tips that will help you move away from the pursuit of perfection.

1. Try to understand that the world is imperfect and not try to change it. As they say, it is easier to put on your own sandals than to cover the whole earth with carpets.
2. Realize that the pursuit of perfection is too expensive. Those. Before every action you need to weigh the pros and cons. For example, a perfectionist trying to lose weight may refuse proper nutrition, fearing that he will not lose 10 kg, as he wants, but much less. It's stupid, isn't it?
3. Learn to prioritize. There is no need to chase all the rabbits. Choose one area and achieve excellence in it.
4. Learn to set small goals. After all, it will be easier to overcome minor obstacles, and you will get no less pleasure than from global results.
5. Don't forget about achieved goals. Most perfectionists are also pessimists who see the bad in everything. But when a wave of depression hits because something isn’t working out, you need to remember what you already have. Did you want a car? You bought it. Would you like to get a position? So you are occupying it now! Great, isn't it?
6. Do not depend on others and their opinions. A perfectionist is a person who wants to become perfect in the eyes of everyone around him. But this is impossible. You can’t please everyone, so try to do something for yourself and those closest to you.
7. Don't be afraid to share responsibilities. A perfectionist is sometimes afraid to trust others with something, fearing that the ideal result will not work. So be it! It's not your fault. And you, if you wish, can then finish or redo the work a little.
8. Find it in yourself positive traits character. Your loved ones love you not because you do something perfectly, but for other qualities. Kindness, responsibility, responsiveness - you probably have excellent traits that characterize you as a wonderful person.

If the above does not work, then a specialist will help you. Psychology also has many ways to get rid of perfectionism. And you can figure them out together with a psychologist.

Perfectionists are often asked to remember the proverb “The best is the enemy of the good,” which means that because of the pursuit of the ideal, you can lose everything and become the worst. Example: a girl wants to buy beautiful outfit to go to a friend's wedding. After visiting all the stores, she tries on several good dresses, but does not see them as perfect. Result: the outfit was not purchased, the girl remains at home, angry with herself. Plus, her friend is offended by her. You say this doesn’t happen? This means you simply haven’t encountered pathological perfectionism.

• Inflated level of aspirations and high demands on oneself;
• High performance standards and focus on the “most successful”;
• Perceiving other people as demanding and critical;
• Constantly comparing yourself with others;
• Assessment and planning of activities according to the “all or nothing” principle (polarized thinking);
• Focusing on your own failures and mistakes.

• When I'm working on something, I can't relax until it's perfect.
• Being the best is my life's goal.
• People must do everything efficiently if they undertake something.
• If I make even a small mistake, those around me will not forgive me.
• In any business you need to give all your best.
• You don’t need to leave people any reason to doubt your perfection.
• I try not to communicate with people who do not strive for anything
• I need material proof of my success.
• It irritates me when people make mistakes in simple matters.
• I don't respect ordinary, unremarkable people.
• People I value shouldn't let me down.
• All things are equally important.
• I am constantly working on myself, striving to be better every day, with every next task.
• I get upset if I find a mistake in my work.

• Learn to distinguish goals according to their importance, set priorities and distribute your efforts in the best way.
• Learn to relax. To preserve physical and emotional health alternate tension and rest.
• Stop comparing yourself to other people. Recognize and appreciate your own uniqueness and the uniqueness of other people. Rejoice at your own and other people’s successes, without berating yourself for failures, but perceiving them as an integral, normal part of life.
• Praise yourself. Learn to see in yourself not only shortcomings, but also advantages that are not related to achievements and success. Become more forgiving of your shortcomings and remind yourself of your strengths more often.
• Learn to enjoy life. Find yourself a hobby, activities for the soul - for the sake of pleasure, and not for the sake of achieving results.