Everything will be fine! New positive psychology.

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Tom Butler-Bowdon
Don't worry about trifles... These are all the little things in life. Richard Carlson (review)

© Sokolova V.D., translation into Russian, 2013

© Tom Butler-Bowdon 2003. This edition published by arrangement with Nicholas Brealey Publishing and The Van Lear Agency

* * *

Everything will be fine!

The authors provide recommendations on medicine, holistic health, nutrition, and psychology in a very engaging yet concise manner that can be followed by anyone, anytime, anywhere. A detailed questionnaire is proposed for self-diagnosis. Moreover, the final chapter consists entirely of detailed tables correspondences of diseases and their psychological root causes, as well as psychosomatic methods of getting rid of ailments.


Live easy!

Popular Australian psychologist, artist and writer Andrew Matthews in simple words, with pithy aphorisms and bright, cheerful illustrations, tells about complex things: the laws of nature, life lessons, human thoughts, beliefs and affections. "Live easy!" - a global bestseller about positive perception peace, yours road map to joy, success and happiness, a new wise view of the world around us.


The Power of Positive Thinking

Norman Vincent Peale was an outstanding speaker, and his life's work continues to be carried on by the Peale Center in New York. In his book, he talks about how you can achieve anything you want in life if you have faith.


NLP: Technologies for Success

“People work flawlessly.” Program yourself with new thoughts, actions and feelings, and you will get completely new life. The author of the book, Charles Faulkner, is the pioneer of a number of methods for accelerated language learning, but he became famous for developing NLP methods in the field of financial decision making and modeling successful sales strategies in the securities market.


New positive psychology

1997
Don't worry about trifles... All these are the little things in life

"So many people spend huge amount their energy, “worrying over trifles,” they completely lose their connection with the magic and beauty of life. When you start moving towards this goal, you will realize that you have a lot left more strength to be kinder and softer.”

In a nutshell

Forget about your troubles - and this will allow you to get more pleasure from communicating with people and from life in general.

In a similar vein

Marcus Aurelius. Reflections

Wayne Dyer. The real magic of success

Norman Vincent Peale. The Power of Positive Thinking

Martin Seligman. How to learn optimism

Richard Carlson

Book “Don’t worry about trifles... All these are the little things in life” became a real world bestseller. The history of the book's title is explained by the author in the preface. One foreign publisher asked Carlson to get a review of his book "Get back your joy in life" from famous author bestselling self-help book by Wayne Dyer. Since Dyer was writing a blurb for his previous book, Carlson said he would give it a try and sent in the request.

Time passed, but nothing happened, and six months later the publishers sent Carlson a copy of the foreign edition. Much to his chagrin, he saw that the publisher had used a review that Dyer had written for his previous book! Carlson wrote a letter of heartfelt apology to Dyer, explaining that he would do everything possible to have the issue removed from sale. After several weeks of anxious waiting, he received the following answer:

"Richard, there are two rules in the world harmonious life: 1. Don’t worry about trifles and 2. These are all the little things in life. Leave the book with this review.

Love, Wayne."

This polite response inspired Carlson to write a practical guide based on the divine law of spirituality - choosing a path in life least resistance.

Book "Don't sweat the small stuff" is not a self-improvement guide, but just a collection of ideas that will help you cope with any troubles in life. One hundred strategies, presented in short essays, have certainly proven their value and relevance, judging by Carlson's huge readership.

Perspective view

The book is written in an attractively friendly manner, combining love

end of introductory fragment

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Did you know that worry and anxiety negatively affect nerve endings and call various diseases in the body? This is indeed true. The statement “all diseases come from nerves” is not an invention of scientists. There is very close connection between chronic pathologies and a weakened nervous system.

Unfortunately, in modern world Difficulties and minor troubles await us at every step. A child gets sick, a car breaks down, there is not enough money for a desired purchase - all this causes anxiety, and sometimes panic attacks. Even when the problem is solved, the feeling of anxiety does not leave us for a long time. If you're tired of it, turn to the advice of famous authors who have helped many cope with anxiety, including me.

Illness or character trait?

This is typical for most of us. We worry about our children and parents, we worry before an important event, we cannot sleep when some troubles happen in life, and we constantly think about them. Despite the fact that anxiety over trifles manifests itself in eighty percent of adults, experts classify this condition as signs of a mental disorder.

Indeed, anxiety is a symptom of many diseases, including:

  • Various phobias.
  • Post-traumatic disorders.
  • Alcoholism.
  • Schizophrenia.
  • Neurosis.

Sometimes anxiety is a sign of somatic pathology. A psychiatrist should diagnose such disorders.

Please pay special attention! If, along with a restless state, you experience weakness, rapid heartbeat, nausea or increased blood pressure, you should consult a doctor.

Basic rules for peace in life

If you are completely healthy and constant worry- this is a feature of your character, listen to the following advice:

  1. Be happy with what you have . Learn to enjoy life. Let small successes be a reason to celebrate today. We got a new manicure, took our car back for repairs, washed a tough stain off a white T-shirt - great! The habit of excessive nervousness will disappear on its own when you learn to enjoy life.
  2. Set goals for yourself and achieve what you want . Make a plan for each day and put a tick next to the completed task. Concentrate on your desires, and direct all your thoughts and actions towards their implementation. Then you will have no time and energy left for trifles.
  3. Find a hobby you like . Devote yourself to what you love. By focusing on an exciting activity, you won’t even notice how negative thoughts will leave you.

Maintain a balance between work and work, spend more time with children and parents, go for walks fresh air, attend social events and travel. Only by working on yourself can you get rid of anxiety .

Tips from Dale Carnegie: “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

A couple of years ago, I bought Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” at a bookstore. This is the work of an American writer who lived by the principle that you shouldn’t spoil the mood of yourself and those around you because of troubles. All relationship building techniques in the book originate from the Bible. . Carnegie refers to the words of Jesus more than once. All the psychologist’s advice is based on the practice of communicating with people, and therefore is easily perceived by anyone.

In his works, the writer reveals the key to happiness and success, but he himself never became happy. He committed suicide. Despite this paradox, I simply could not help but read the work of the legendary speaker and teacher.

Each person has only a few decades of life. And we waste these precious hours worrying about troubles that no one will remember in a couple of months.

But it is so. Once, at a corporate party, one of my colleagues had too much alcohol and began dancing right on the pole, erotically (that’s what she thought) moving her limbs. Managers, bosses and invited guests from Germany (the founders of the company) looked at this dance with wide with open eyes. So the next day, having sobered up and seeing her photographs in the public domain, she was not the least bit embarrassed. Moreover, she laughed at herself.

I still can’t say what I was more surprised by – her outburst or the subsequent reaction. However, a month passed, and then six months, and no one remembered this drunken dance anymore. If I were in her place, I most likely would have written a letter of resignation and would not have been able to survive such shame. Now I understand that such things need to be taken with a smile.

It is worth paying less attention to the situations that surround us every day:

  • Rudeness from colleagues.
  • Chief's note.
  • Gossip behind your back.

There is nothing good or bad. Only our thoughts about a situation make it so.

Tested for myself. If it seems like what happened has negatively impacted your life, force yourself to think about the positives of the situation. Start small: a broken heel is a reason to beg your husband for new shoes. At work, they raised the production standard - there will be a reason to develop a higher typing speed, you will have to quit smoking so as not to waste time going to the smoking room. Positive points surround us everywhere.

A person is unhappy not because he is blind, but because he cannot come to terms with blindness.

Any person is able to come to terms with the inevitable, to accept the situation as it is. If you don't do this, you can make money nervous breakdown, trying to deal with circumstances. It’s not for nothing that Schopenhauer said: “To get through life successfully, you need a good supply of humility.”

“Businessmen who don’t deal with anxiety die young.”

These are the words of Dr. Alexis Carrel, which Carnegie cites in his book. Indeed, if we are constantly worried and nervous, we are unlikely to live to see the moment when our grandchildren are born and go to school. It doesn’t matter who we are - businessmen, housewives, doctors or builders, none of us should torment our souls with worries .

At the age of 30, John Rockefeller made his first million. However, at 53, only high-quality medicines kept him in this world. He was brought to this state by constant worry about his success, goals and achievements.

Experts suggested that the businessman follow three important rules:

  1. Avoid anxiety . You should not worry under any circumstances.
  2. Stick to a diet . It is necessary to get up from the table with light feeling hunger.
  3. Learn to relax . Special exercises in the fresh air will help with this.

Rockefeller stopped thinking about how to make money more money, and began to look for simple human happiness, growing a garden, communicating with loved ones, playing golf.

In his book, Carnegie describes many stories from people's lives. Some of them were close to suicide because their minds were filled with anxiety and worry. Reading about the difficult fate of the heroes, you are amazed at their endurance, fortitude and determination.

People who have faced serious problems and were on the edge of an abyss, found strength in themselves and were able to discern the surrounding beauty in the world . So why should we get upset over little things and ruin the mood for ourselves and those around us?

Faith that gives peace

It has been proven that believers experience much less stress. This is due to the fact that a person close to God experiences spiritual harmony, but it is the basis of all life. Remember that happiness is not something external factor, it's inside us . That’s why it’s so important to find harmony within yourself.

Do more useful and kind things for others. Don't regret what happened. If something doesn't go as planned, say, "It's God's will." If happiness happens in life, thank the Lord.

Do you often worry? There is a reason at every turn: the salary is not enough and the position is not the most prestigious, I am not as handsome as I could be, I, as always, am not the smartest in the team, Vitka plays the guitar, I don’t have my own apartment or I do, but New furniture wouldn't hurt, let alone a car... How much time do you spend on these worries? Seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, years...

Is this right?

In order to understand this difficult situation, let's turn to professional psychologist, founder and director of the center practical psychology“Sinton” - Nikolai Ivanovich Kozlov.

Allowing your soul to be disturbed by all sorts of nonsense is simply disrespect for yourself.

One of the main qualities of wisdom is the ability to distinguish real values ​​from imaginary ones, truly important things from trifles. We can debate whether it's worth getting upset about big things, but obviously it's stupid to get upset about little things. It is absurd to worry about losing your wallet when each of us daily wastes millions of unique moments of our lives, meaninglessly wasting hours, days and years.

“There are only three sorrows - illness, death, bad children. Everything else is trouble." Value life, friendship, health, family - and don’t sigh tragically: “Here, there’s no closet...”.

You are a billionaire. How many millions would you value that you have life, arms, legs, sight, hearing (I hope you remember that not everyone has this...)? How, having all this, can you lament the loss of a thousand rubles? If a billionaire laments this, he is either crazy or unscrupulous.

Does this not concern you?

Sage - cruel man. He always remembers what we would like to forget and from which we, like ostriches, hide our heads in the sand: he remembers the possibility of loneliness, poverty, death... And it is against such a background that each event acquires its real significance:

“I was sad because I didn’t have shoes
Until I saw you on the street
A man who had no legs."

To avoid confusing little things with something else, calm down. Count to ten, breathe, try to distract yourself, take your time. If you can just go to bed, do it: “the morning is wiser than the evening.” Ask yourself: is the damage really bad? as if he assessed what had happened calmly, wise man? How will you look at this situation in a year? in twenty years?

Maybe I have bad memory, but now I can’t remember situations from my past that would make me very worried and upset now. Yes, there was a lot, but nothing terrible. If it was so in the past, then it will be so in the future, and there is no reason to worry.

Open your eyes to the worst and accept it. Are you afraid of losing something? Imagine that this has already happened. Can you live without it? Will you survive? What if you never had this at all? Is it possible to be happy in this situation?

Trouble arose with the Club. Yes, the Club is very dear to me - but I can easily imagine life without it. I have many things and people dear to me in my life, but there is nothing that I couldn’t live without.

The child is born naked and helpless. And if you ever find yourself naked and helpless, it only means that you, like a child, have a chance to start living all over again. The child is ready for this. What about you?

Life can present any surprises - learn to accept the inevitable. If the situation is hopeless, don’t bang your head against the wall, accept what happened. Consider that you started living all over again, from this very point. baseline. How will you live?

You can survive everything and you can always be happy.

In the worst case, you will die: will humanity survive this? - He will survive. Well, good.

Of course, when you read a book, everything is obvious and simple, but it is much more difficult to apply this in life, and behaving this way every day is correct. At the Sinton training center, we have created a whole training course - the Synton Program, which includes all of our unique developments. It is here that you will learn to be happy, perceive the world and yourself richer and more correctly, and most importantly, you will learn to do this always.

Of course, no one will argue that a narrowly optimistic view of life impoverishes it just as much as a stupidly pessimistic one. As a rule, one must perceive life in its entirety, with all its pros and cons, exclamations and question marks, millions of mutual transitions - yes!

But “as a rule” does not mean “always and necessarily.”

If they start beating you with sticks and you cannot prevent it, is it worth accepting the blows with sticks in their entirety? Or is it worth closing yourself and defending yourself as much as possible during this beating? Will we condemn this as “escape from life” or a reasonable way out in a forced situation?

And if you are going through a rough patch in life and have no strength, isn’t it better for a while (for someone who knows how to do this) to turn off their emotions so as not to “break down”? Of course, this will impoverish the picture of your life, you will lose some acute impressions, but you will not get stomach ulcers (hypertension, heart attack - who is predisposed to what), you will not shorten your life expectancy and you will be able to enjoy life in all its bright manifestations longer.

If the phrase “turn off your emotions” sounds too harsh for someone, you can formulate the same thing differently: “change the evaluative-experiential attitude to a constructive-active one.” This means facing difficulties and problems not with questions: “Oh, what will happen now??” (and have corresponding emotions trailing behind these questions), but ascertaining and active: “This is. What to do now, how to get out of the situation with the least losses?”

Your worries do not solve the problem. It’s better if there is even the slightest chance to correct the situation, use it.

I learned this advice back in school, when a MEPhI professor, the father of our classmate Nina Ivanova, studied mathematics with us as an elective. He taught: “Suppose you get a bad ticket in an exam and you don’t know it. Don’t waste time worrying about despair: “Oh, why me?..” and “What will happen now?” You still have half an hour before the answer - use it as productively as possible. Remember everything you know and come up with something that is as close to the answer as possible. Think about the beginning and possible options continuation. Get busy, not worry." I remembered this, and since then this advice has helped me many times.

This should become a way of life and act automatically, especially in extreme situations. Anyone who gets confused and allows emotions to take over the soul risks too much.

This morning, five of us (including Sashka’s nephew) went for a ride on a dugout boat and capsized when Marta, Sashka’s shepherd dog, decided to jump out of the boat. It’s deep, the children have sunk to the bottom, the wife doesn’t know how to swim. What is there to worry about!! It was necessary to catch everyone, which is what Sasha and I successfully did. Then they ran to the village, lit the stove to warm everyone up (the day was not hot), then in stories to each other they framed it all as an amusing adventure...

Sometimes circumstances are stronger than us and you face defeat. Well, if there is no chance of winning, do anything. Action is one of the best ways calm down. Do what you want, just don't be sour.

I'm just lucky in this regard. I am a very busy person, so I simply don’t have time to worry.

You can also read other psychological articles on the sites.

Tom Butler-Bowdon

Don't worry about trifles... These are all the little things in life. Richard Carlson (review)

© Sokolova V.D., translation into Russian, 2013

© Tom Butler-Bowdon 2003. This edition published by arrangement with Nicholas Brealey Publishing and The Van Lear Agency

* * *

Everything will be fine!

The authors provide recommendations on medicine, holistic health, nutrition, and psychology in a very engaging yet concise manner that can be followed by anyone, anytime, anywhere. A detailed questionnaire is proposed for self-diagnosis. In addition, the final chapter consists entirely of detailed tables of correspondence between diseases and their psychological root causes, as well as psychosomatic ways to get rid of ailments.


Live easy!

Popular Australian psychologist, artist and writer Andrew Matthews uses simple words, pithy aphorisms and bright, cheerful illustrations to talk about complex things: the laws of nature, life lessons, human thoughts, beliefs and attachments. "Live easy!" - a global bestseller about a positive perception of the world, your road map to joy, success and happiness, a new wise look at the world around you.


The Power of Positive Thinking

Norman Vincent Peale was an outstanding speaker, and his life's work continues to be carried on by the Peale Center in New York. In his book, he talks about how you can achieve anything you want in life if you have faith.


NLP: Technologies for Success

“People work flawlessly.” Program yourself with new thoughts, actions and feelings, and you will get a completely new life. The author of the book, Charles Faulkner, is the pioneer of a number of accelerated language learning methods, but he is best known for developing NLP methods in the field of financial decision making and modeling successful sales strategies in the securities market.


New positive psychology

Don't worry about trifles... All these are the little things in life

“So many people spend so much of their energy 'stressing themselves' that they completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life. When you start moving towards this goal, you will realize that you have much more energy left to be kinder and gentler.”

In a nutshell

Forget about your troubles - and this will allow you to get more pleasure from communicating with people and from life in general.

In a similar vein

Marcus Aurelius. Reflections

Wayne Dyer. The real magic of success

Norman Vincent Peale. The Power of Positive Thinking

Martin Seligman. How to learn optimism

Richard Carlson

Book “Don’t worry about trifles... All these are the little things in life” became a real world bestseller. The history of the book's title is explained by the author in the preface. One foreign publisher asked Carlson to get a review of his book "Get back your joy in life" from acclaimed bestselling self-help author Wayne Dyer. Since Dyer was writing a blurb for his previous book, Carlson said he would give it a try and sent in the request.

End of introductory fragment.

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“Don’t worry about the little things... these are all the little things in life” became a worldwide bestseller. This book This practical guide, which is based on the eternal spiritual law: choose the path of least resistance. “Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...It's the Little Things in Life” is not a self-improvement guide, but simply a collection of ideas to help you avoid stressful situations if possible. One hundred strategies, presented in short essays, have already proven their effectiveness.
The main value of the book lies in the recognition of excessive demands modern life and the culture in which we all live, in relation to man. We can enjoy meditation exercises, special programs relaxation or a Sunday walk on the beach, but the effect of these activities soon wears off, and by Tuesday we are back to driving fast, irritable and worrying about lost time.
How to bring it to your daily life peace and perspective?
Many of Carlson's recipes are quite simple, while others, on the contrary, are revolutionary. Below are some of the one hundred strategies that are outlined in this book.

“So many people spend their time “fussing about little things” and spending a huge amount on it vital energy that they completely lose contact with the mystical side of life and cannot see its beauty. As you work toward this goal, you will find that you have more energy to be kind and generous.”

Become a morning person

When Carlson himself began to get up long before his children and wife, he realized that this “ golden time"can be used for reading, thinking, making plans for the day in peace and solitude. Many of his listeners told him that just this small act of becoming a morning person changed their entire lives.
Get rid of the illusion that noble and calm people can't achieve much
A frantic life, full of constant surprises, seems to best correspond to our ideas about a strong, accomplished person. The desire to become more calm and loving, on the contrary, is associated with sleep apathy. However, a stressful mindset and constant change rob our lives of purpose and true success. Carlson notes that he was very lucky: he was surrounded by calm and relaxed people who, nevertheless, were very successful in life. If it becomes your habit inner peace, then extraordinary ease will appear in achieving goals and helping others.

Don't interrupt others or finish their sentences

This is surprising easy way become more relaxed loving person. Just try it this way.

Learn to live more in the present tense

John Lennon said that "life is what happens when we are busy with other plans." If you pay attention to the present moment, the fear that is more associated with an imagined future will disappear from your life. You'll be surprised how easy problems are tomorrow will begin to evaporate when you don't think about them. Make paying attention to the present time a habit of your mind and see how much your life changes.
Ask yourself, “Will this still matter to me a year from now?”
When Carlson began asking himself this question frequently about troubles that were making him upset, he found that he wanted to laugh. The energy that he previously spent on worry and anger was now spent on creativity and family.

Allow yourself to do nothing

Don't be afraid to rest. You are a person, not a “human machine”, so just be yourself and take into account the need for rest. You will be amazed at how quickly this will clear your mind once you get past the initial feeling of discomfort and enable you to create new ideas.

Imagine yourself at your own funeral

This is extraordinary effective way return to the values ​​that truly matter to you now, when it still makes sense. Few people will look back on their lives and be glad that they spent so much time and energy worrying about little things. Ask yourself: “What kind of person was I? Did I do what I liked and did I really love those. people who were there for me every day?

Imagine the people who live next to you, babies or centenarians
This will almost always give you a sense of perspective and a sense of compassion (as well as surprise and admiration).

Re-evaluate your significant achievements

Instead of thinking about achievements as something external, ask yourself about achievements from the perspective of your inner self. In this case, achievement may include calmness in the face of the unknown.

Be open to “what is”

The world quite often is not the way we want it to be. When someone is disappointed in you, even if it's very close person, or you make a mistake at work, admit that this is the case and do not automatically react too emotionally to the event.
After some time, what bothered you so much will dissolve without any consequences. In many cases you will be able to be more free.

Other strategies include:

- Just for fun, agree with the criticism directed at you (and then watch how
it will disappear).

-Be grateful when you experience joy and generous when you experience pain.

- Be happy with what you have.

- Give yourself time to relax.

The book is written so easily that you can pick it up even when you don't have much time, open it to any page and get the lesson of wisdom or inspiration you need. It does not contain lengthy proofs or life stories, but contains condensed information that would take hundreds of pages in other works. If at least two or three strategies remain in your mind, then you have not read this book in vain.
“One of the main reasons why people are constantly in a hurry, afraid, competitive with others, and continue to live as if they are in great danger, is because fear prevents them from being more calm and loving. This fear tells them that if they relaxed, they would stop achieving their previous goals. They would become lazy and apathetic. You can let go of this fear by realizing that just the opposite works. A nervous and unbalanced state takes a lot of energy and reduces our ability to be creative and constructive.”

Source: http://merzha.com.ua




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