Specific information about resources. Specific goals and actions

Dreams are what make a person’s life better, richer, more interesting. There is nothing wrong with them, because it is in dreams that a person imagines what he wants to achieve in life, and only after that he begins to realize his idea. On the scale of human history, until quite recently, human flight across the sky, travel into space, the ability to communicate while in different places on the planet, at great distances from each other, seemed like a dream, and only in the last century these dreams were realized by scientists and engineers. However, dreams also have back side. Some people become so deeply immersed in their own dream world that they become unable to make their dreams come true. In this case, we can say that dreams become harmful; a person needs to think about how to stop dreaming.

If you lie on the couch all the time and indulge in thoughts about how nice it would be to have a huge fortune, without doing anything for it, the chances that money will appear to you on its own are negligible. In the same way, you are unlikely to become if, instead of working out in the gym, you just spin in front of the mirror, dreaming about ideal figure. In the first case, a carefully worked out business plan and absolute compliance with it in your work will help you realize your dream. The second involves a properly selected diet and a set of exercises necessary to correct your figure. Only when you begin to make efforts and patience to make your dream come true can you expect that your goal will be achieved.

For what reason do our dreams and fantasies never come true and come true? This may happen due to the fact that the fantasy is too divorced from reality, or due to the dreamer’s lack of confidence in his own abilities.

For example, you work for low paid job and you don't have your own home. Your life's dream is a luxurious mansion on Atlantic coast. Can this dream be considered feasible, taking into account the fact that even if you save all the money you earn throughout your life, it will still not be enough to purchase a plot of land and build a house? Most likely you will decide that your goal is unattainable. However, who is stopping you from changing yourself, your way of thinking, finding yourself new job, which will be paid decently, or even open your own business? Any dream can become a reality if you constantly do something to achieve it.

For those who are wondering about how to stop dreaming and start realizing their fantasies, can I advise you to think about what they are ready to do to get what they want right now? Don’t delay the start of your actions; start moving towards your goal right now. Do something every day that will bring your dream at least one step closer to you. Constantly ask yourself the question of what you have already done to make your dream come true, and how close you have come to it at present.

When setting a goal for yourself, dreaming about something, try to do it in such a way that your dreams are as specific as possible. For example, if you are not satisfied with your figure and you want to get rid of a few extra pounds, then you must clearly tell yourself exactly how many kilograms or centimeters are extra for you. You also must, in accordance with which you will move towards your goal. IN in this example you must decide what your diet will be, what physical exercise you will perform and to what extent, etc. When the plan is ready, start implementing it, and you can see for yourself that your dream is quite real and achievable.

If achieving your dream is very difficult, then break it down into several more simple tasks, the implementation of which is within your power. By achieving these goals one by one, you will begin to believe in own strength and the reality of your ideas.

Desire to be realized

Example of successful people

Live in the present

Specific goals and actions

Since childhood, we have been convinced that dreaming of a bright future is not harmful. Songs on the radio encourage you to believe in your dreams. For the heroes of fairy tales and some films, everything they wish for comes true. But practice shows that dreams are rarely beneficial, because you can get lost in illusions. How to stop dreaming and start moving towards what you want?

I wake up at 6 am and go for a run. Then I take a shower, brush my teeth, leisurely drink tea or coffee, and read a book. At half past eight I am already greeting my employees in my own office. This is a small company with a stable income. Over the 3 years of business, I have learned to plan my day wisely. I'll be home at 5 pm. Everything is scheduled by the hour: communication with friends, relatives, girls. There is enough time for everything.

Hello, my name is Alexander. Well, how do you like my illusions? I’m sure many readers found them very down-to-earth. These thoughts have been haunting me for several years now. My work is very different from the above schedule. I'm a cook. I work with early morning until midnight almost every day in the summer. I read a lot on this topic and realized one simple, but for some reason inconspicuous thing: in my fantasy there is no room for movement towards it.

I live one way of life, but dream of another. For so many years I have not tried to do anything to change this. But everything is quite simple. There is a lot of literature on business. No matter how much we scold the state, it is not difficult to open an individual entrepreneur now. A few months ago I decided to reconsider my lifestyle. This article- this is a collection of information that pushed me to make this decision, stimulated and helped in its implementation.

Is it harmful to dream?

Dreams make you distracted. Harvard psychologists David Gilbert and Matthew Killingsworth developed an application for smartphones. They decided to identify what people's brains are doing during certain activities. Users of the program received questions at random times:

1. What do you do?
2. What are you thinking about?
3. How are you feeling now?

In conclusion, they were asked to determine their level of happiness on a 100-point scale. 2250 people took part in the experiment. The results were published in the journal Science in 2010. The researchers found:

• 46.9% of respondents think about their own life while working and doing household chores mental state, experience past failures or dream of a bright future;
• when reading and watching films, the percentage of abstract thinking decreases, and when listening to music it increases;
• during sex, less than 9% of people are attached to extraneous thoughts;
• The more focused you are on the current activity, the happier a person feels. Peak positive emotions observed when communicating with friends.

Indeed, if you are waiting in line at a store or government office, or doing routine work, then the fantasies of your brain know no bounds. But during sex, you don’t have to want anything more.

“Chronic inability to do the right thing in right time— the cause of most of our misfortunes.”

Andre Kukla - American psychologist

Concentrating on what is important here and now contributes to the productive cohesive work of a person and his brain. In other words, both business and dream must be given strict consideration certain time. Many scientists and philosophers speak in a similar way.

Why is dreaming harmful?

Let's consider two concepts:

1. A dream is something desired.
2. A goal is the subject of a person’s aspirations.

Plunging into dreams, we go to an amusing trip to the future, no matter how positive. In this flight of fancy, the future has already arrived. But he has neither past nor present. This is the main danger - the illusion of what has already been accomplished is created. The brain calms down, forgetting about pressing problems. It turns out that there is no longer any need to act. Reality distortion threatens depressive state. Emotional stability is violated regardless of the positivity or negativity of thoughts. After all, people dream differently. Some see themselves as heroes, others as rulers of the world, and others as destroyers of the universe.

Achieving a goal requires targeted actions. At the same time, a person lives in the present: he is content with what he has, decides pressing problems, suffers defeats and rejoices in victories. Through thorns, a person gradually rises to those heights that are so important to achieve. And it doesn’t matter exactly how and at what age a person decided to achieve his goals. Some people have been on the warpath for a place in the sun since childhood. Some people wonder how to stop dreaming and live in reality while being mature. What is important is awareness and a firm division of thoughts into dreams and goals, an understanding of what is achievable and what is not. It is important to promote ideas in reality, and not to give in to fruitless illusions.

The extreme level of daydreaming is daydreaming. A person who devotes his energy to fruitless mental activity over time plunges deeper and deeper into the fairy tale invented by his brain. At the same time, he has to go out real life, to communicate with people. This gives rise to despondency, apathy, aggression, despair, and disappointment. I can’t help but recall a phrase from Victor Hugo’s novel “Les Miserables”: “If a person has acquired the habit of leaving home to dream, then the day will come when he will leave home to throw himself into the water.”

How to stop dreaming and start acting?

The secret to success is movement. It will not be possible to predict its trajectory, but it is necessary to try to calculate the steps towards achieving the goal. When a person has aspirations, there is no time to dream. The brain is too busy solving problems that constantly arise in the process of implementing plans. Taking action means:

• accept yourself, your shortcomings and imperfections;
• take responsibility for your actions, thoughts and life;
• have a clear idea of ​​what to strive for;
• look your fears in the eye;
• be ready for challenges and take the hits.

How more people ponders over certain circumstances, the higher the risk that he will refuse real action. To prevent this from happening, you need to develop the above personality qualities. Next, in order to stop dreaming and start acting, you need to develop a plan and pay attention to the following points.

Prioritization

Life forces you to make choices. Productive action presupposes linearity, that is, focus on one process. A person is not able to break apart. You should do one thing, follow one path, strive to achieve one goal. After completing one task, they move on to another.

Specific resource data

In our dreams, we often spend billions of money, but we never imagine the process of earning it. To get what you want, you need to build on what you have. If there are not enough resources, then there will be ways to increase them. To do this, you need to answer a number of questions. For example, there is a desire to live in own home. How much will it cost? How will I get it if wage is 30 thousand per month? Can I increase my income? This already speaks of an attempt to turn a dream into a goal.

The begun process is completed by concretization in time and space. Where will the house be located? What does he look like? How much time and money will be invested in the solution? specific tasks? Determine the deadline for achievement. Of course, life makes adjustments. But an abstract representation of desires threatens that they will never come true.

Making an emotional-volitional decision and additional motivation

A person is dependent on emotions. The real decision is made when we clearly understand the consequences of achieving the goal. What happens at the end of the journey? How does the presence of the desired object make you feel? Emotions strengthen faith in one’s own rightness and give strength to move forward. But sometimes you give up so much that the effect of your own motivation weakens. Books, films and stories of successful people come to the rescue.

Immediate action

The deeper the elaboration of the paths to the goal, the better. We are not able to predict all the twists and turns. Therefore, action is more important than thinking. Business coaches conduct such an experiment. Some participants write the desired amount of money. The notes are hidden.

The task is to find your piece of paper while blindfolded. To prevent the seeker from stumbling, a free participant is assigned to him. People behave differently. Someone stands and waits patiently for a moment, and then walks in the right direction. Someone begins to rummage around with their hands until they find the treasured item. It is noticed that in the first case, errors occur less frequently. But active seekers achieve results faster. Practice gives best result than theoretical calculations. Therefore, if you do not act, it is harmful to dream.

Formation of social connections

Communication with active people charges with energy, provokes action, motivates at the right moment. Ideally, you need to find people with similar interests who have similar goals. It is important to pay attention to their stories not only about successes, but also about failures. Since stopping living in dreams means taking responsibility for actions, you should not be afraid of mistakes. To reduce them to a minimum, you need to pay more attention to the words of more experienced interlocutors. Did someone tell you about their failure? Thank the person and do everything to prevent this from happening again in your case.

Constant self-analysis

Only what can be measured can be changed. At the very beginning, you need to catch yourself in illusory thoughts. Write down in a notebook when and under what circumstances dreams interfere with living a full life. Next, with the help of willpower, try to exclude extraneous thoughts. Regular physical training and a balanced diet help with this. At the same time, write down goals, deadlines for achieving them and possible tasks on the way to what you want. Successes and failures are regularly compared with what was planned.

Conclusion

So what we found out:

1. Dreaming is not harmful, but dwelling on dreams is useless and dangerous to health.
2. For fantasies to be useful, you need to turn them into goals.
3. Results are achieved by actions, not by thinking about them.
4. Happy is the one who is focused on what he loves.
5. You need to record your successes and failures in order to monitor changes.

In general, dreams turn into illusions. To return to real world, you need to make a decision and feed it with emotions. Personally, motivation didn’t help me much during monotonous work, physical exercise and willpower. Then I resorted to exercises. “Fibonacci Technique” - adding numbers in your head. The result of the previous example is added to the last term: 1+1=2, 2+1=3, 3+2=5, etc. At the same time, I switched off from any thoughts except addition. But concentrate on boring work It's still difficult.

“750 words” - in the morning, immediately after waking up, I wrote everything that popped into my head. Frankly, I didn’t always reach the required length (750 words). When stupor arose, I often quit without finishing even half of it. This option also helped me. I had the impression that I was not thinking about anything at all. This was somewhat intimidating and forced me to focus on the problems.

Everyone dreams in childhood - this is a conditionally normal manifestation. The child has no special worries, and free time he imagines friends, enemies and various circumstances. It is assumed that an adult knows himself and his desires. If there are no aspirations in life, then finding them should remain a priority. In any case, it is better to live in the present. The Brain Trainer website will help you let go of your dream and start taking action. We have other articles on this topic. Choose from them the one that will help you.

Question to a psychologist

I live in fantasies, in a fictional world, where I am ideal and everything is fine. But I understand that this is impossible and I need to live in reality, but I can’t.
I have no friends at all, I’m constantly inside myself, I hardly even leave the house, I’m not interested in communicating with people, I’m very afraid of people.
And I live in fantasies: I really love being alone at home, I turn on music and imagine different situations, I walk around the room like crazy, I imagine my friends with whom in reality it is very difficult for me to communicate, I communicate with them even though they are not there, but I imagine them, and I behave very boldly with them, and they behave as if I wanted to. I already feel like I’m going crazy.
sometimes I even just walk down the street with headphones on and imagine something.
and so almost every day, in the fictional world I am in a great mood and I laugh, but in the real world everything is just terrible, I am constantly in no mood and cry for no reason. I really love dancing, but I gave up dancing, now I dance at home representing the stage and all those people!
please help me how to get rid of this? Or have I completely lost my mind?

Irina, this happens when something doesn’t suit you in today’s life.

In order to avoid such a “retreat into fantasy”, it is advisable to realize that you are so dissatisfied with today and in your life - and change it...

Read more about this here:
http://psiholog-dnepr.com.ua/psychological-stories/ushel-obeshchal-vernutsya

To do this, try to turn to yourself - to your feelings, thoughts and, most importantly - desires and figure out what you want for yourself - for your body, appearance, health, for your activities, career, finances, for your contacts - with yourself and others, for their relationships with the opposite sex, for communicating with their family, friends and relatives, for their plans, goals, meanings, faith, etc.

And achieve what you want.

Sincerely, Svetlana Kiselevskaya, psychologist, master's degree.

Hello. Irina. Living in a fantasy means that you are afraid to live in reality. That is, you are poorly adapted to reality. Adaptation occurs in early childhood, when a child is being raised. That is, in order to get closer to reality, it is important to have new relationship strategies. On your own this is difficult to do, since it is overcoming the fears of being a different person. You can work with the book by Ellis. Humanistic psychotherapy. Six months. If changes do not occur, then the help of a specialist is preferable. The issue is closely related to a sense of self-worth. Accepting yourself as more and more good and flawless, you become confident in various areas relationships, you have goals, aspirations, opportunities, in the form of abilities and initiative. The question requires time and motivation.

Karataev Vladimir Ivanovich, psychologist of the Volgograd psychoanalytic school

Hello Irina!

Irina, I have a lot of questions.

In order for you to receive adequate help, you need to visit an endocrinologist, neurologist, or psychiatrist.

When a medical factor has been ruled out, make an appointment with a psychotherapist/psychologist.

Consider the proposed options and rehabilitation plan. Be attentive to the specialist’s competencies.

Mirmanova M.B., psychologist Kostanay.

Irina, teaching you to live in reality was the task of your parents in your early childhood. This did not happen and we have what we have.

Today you yourself have to get out of this meaningless state, with the help of a specialist. Living in the past or in the future is the same as not living, you miss the present, what is happening nearby ( interesting interlocutors, friends, girlfriends, relationships with guys, and all the events of this life..)

Find this specialist for yourself; it is extremely difficult to do this on your own.

Best regards, Olga Chemeris.

Chemeris Olga Valentinovna, psychologist Kostanay

Having a dream and being a dreamer are two things different states mind. Dreamers simply go with the flow of life without real plans. Anyone who has a dream acts towards achieving his goal.

When you decide to come down from heaven, overcome the obstacles that stand in your way and organize a plan of action, you become a doer. If you're ready to get started, here are 9 steps to stop dreaming and start taking action:

1. Take responsibility for your actions

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."— Arthur Ashe.

One of the most frustrating things is listening to someone constantly complain about their life. Especially when they blame the world for their problems. Perhaps the whole universe is against you, does not care about you and is deceiving you. But your actions or lack thereof are not her fault. Say this statement out loud: “I control my actions and choose how I respond to circumstances.” Say this every day. Nothing is truer than this statement.

You can and should start being active and emotional. Learn to control your anger when you are angry. When it slips into your head negative thought, immediately push it back. This will take practice because we have been programmed by our environment to behave and think in a certain way. Fight to change your negative thinking, or you will remain a bitter and unhappy person. Use your aggression for good, or use it in your work.

1. Give and receive love and forgiveness

“Learn to fill your day with POSITIVITY. Think about how your ideas CAN work, not how they can't."— Steve Harvey.

After you have curbed your inner ability control your thoughts and emotions, it's time to start focusing on the positive. The best way to start is to accept and forgive people who have hurt you. Loving and forgiving is no longer about giving something to someone, but about receiving - you heal by letting go negative relationships. If these people truly love and care about you, they will fight for you. If you leave and never hear from them again, then they don't care about you, so why should you? Your resentments cause you to focus on people who are not worthy of your time and attention. Anger makes you feel depressed, deceived, sad, sad and lonely. Learn to truly forgive those who have offended you and you will take tons of weight off your shoulders. You will free your mind and be able to start working towards your dreams.

1. Accept yourself

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”— Eleanor Roosevelt

Now that you're focused on living positively, it's time to look in the mirror and love what you see. Physically and mentally. . Don't let anyone dictate how to live your life. This will only lead to a boring, predictable, miserable and mediocre life. Do what makes you happy, don't just dream about it. Love everything about yourself, including your flaws.

1. Choose your surroundings wisely

“We met not by chance, You are either a blessing or a lesson.”

This path will end many relationships in your life. People who don't support you, who take advantage of you and are negative should leave! At first, you may feel lonely and insecure. If you focus on yourself and not on them, these feelings will go away. It's time to move on. Time to let go. Those who truly love and respect you, who accept you for who you are, will stay. They will support you throughout your journey. Your relationship with them will become more valuable to you than it ever was. If you give your all in a relationship and they don't give anything back, stop running after them the next time they leave. You will thank yourself for this in the future.

1. Learn to ignore negativity from other people

“I don’t know what the key to success is, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”-Bill Cosby

Since you have set out on your path, there will always be people who will try in every possible way to pull you off it. Therefore, before starting, you must complete the steps described above. If you are prepared for the attacks of the haters, you can rise above. It is easier to criticize others than to work on yourself. Knowing this gives you a sense of peace about where you and where they are in life. It's obvious that you are taller, even if others don't think so. Keep moving and let them say what they want.

1. Make your plans carefully

“Failure is not the opposite of success, but inaction.”— Royce Liano

Freeing your mind from emotional confinement gives you space to focus on your dreams. Now that you have a clear understanding, it's time to take action. As a doer, you need a game plan. Write down your ultimate goals at the top of a sheet of paper. Below, write down the steps you plan to take to get there in an organized, realistic manner. Let's say your goal is to become a nurse. Your possible first step is to volunteer at your local hospital to see if it's something you really enjoy. Next, you can make a list of schools that you can apply to. The third step is to collect Required documents for admission to the respective colleges. See what you got? The sum of all the small actions you take equals your goal. Write them down in your list of daily, weekly, monthly tasks, and get closer to your dream.

1. Do ANYTHING, ANYTHING

“Success usually comes to those who are too busy to look for it.”— Henry David Thoreau

Many people get to step 6 and stop. Your plan won't come true on its own. magically. To get results later, you need to do something today. So start exploring, traveling, volunteering, writing, calling, asking, developing, or jumping on any opportunity that will help you get ahead. You may have to take complex solutions in order to ultimately reach the goal. Start with what you can, do your best, that's where it starts.

1. Accept failure and detours

“I didn’t suffer defeats. I just found 10,000 ways that don't work."- Thomas Edison

We've all had epic failures in life. It's time to stop looking at these failures as the end of everything. Failure is an integral part of success. Ask anyone very successful person, has he had any defeats, and he will tell you that he has had hundreds of them. Failure just means trying another way. Start looking at failures as positive experiences. How can we learn without making mistakes? An error is the result of an attempt. People who avoid failure in everything lead mediocre lives. We are not like that. We long for true happiness and inner peace. I remember in the past, I would go to work with trepidation and fear. Now, thinking about work, I feel calm and happy. It's still hard work. But now it's a job I'm passionate about.

When you set out on the path to achieving your dreams, be prepared that along the way, it may change a little, or change a lot. Your passion is already programmed within you. Unleash your potential and talent through this process and keep moving forward no matter what you receive.

1. Use social connections and resources

“Opportunities don't happen. It is you who create them.”-Chris Grosser

Sooner or later, you will realize that you need others to help you get to your goal. Do you get information and experience from them or recognition for your talent. Browse good informative websites, attend courses or lectures where you can learn and interact with other people. Put your pride aside and promote yourself, your work and/or knowledge without shyness. Take seriously everything you find and anyone who helps you. Opening one door can lead to many more opportunities.

Start with the first step. Don't stop halfway. If you follow these 9 steps from dreamer to doer, you will overcome your fears and take a leap of faith. Congratulations, now your life will begin for real. Please note that this will be hard and at times not fun. Stay focused, but don't forget to take time to clear your mind and relax. I hope you are now feeling inspired to step out of your comfort zone and take a chance on happiness.

“Dreams seem to float down a lazy river. The path to success is like riding a roller coaster. Find the courage to get on this roller coaster and keep going until you feel sick.”—Margot Daughtry.