Modesty in our time. Does a modern woman need modesty? How to overcome excessive modesty

Where did it go? modesty? “Oh times, oh morals...” These are the lines that come to mind; it’s worth looking at modern girls. How things have changed! Where are the pure, innocent images of Natasha Rostova, Asya and Tatyana Larina?

They were replaced by beauties who cannot imagine their lives without glamor, vulgarity and loud shockingness. They have no idea what modesty adorns. By any means to attract attention - here are them main goal. But with what? Here, everyone has their own “talents”: indecent behavior, scandals, showing off their curves. This is how cheap popularity is achieved. Girl's modesty is seen as a disadvantage.

Teenagers talk about modesty

Modesty And good manners have long since faded into the background. Now instead shyness and modesty Sexuality, licentiousness and vulgarity are cultivated in girls. No one thinks about what kind of mothers and spouses they will become, what kind of example they will set for their children. It seems like this fundamental concept, as a family, is completely absent from their value system. Living your life beautifully is much cooler than being a good mother and wife. Why does this question bother me so much today?

The fact is that I see many of my students heeding the means mass media with their active promotion of these disgusting stereotypes. And in reality, girls are not to blame for this - they are only teenagers with a fragile psyche and an unformed worldview, and they tend to imitate. So they chose these immoral girls as role models, naively believing that this is how a woman should ideally look. suffer from their modesty and their more arrogant peers. What my students say about girls modesty? To my great joy, among them there are those who are sincerely confident that modesty still adorns girls!

Markov Sergey

Here, for example, is the opinion of an eighth-grader: “Previously, girls at school had beautiful shape with an apron, they did not allow themselves to dress vulgarly, they wore tasteful things, did not wear makeup and did not even wear earrings. Modesty for a girl associated with honor and dignity. Modern young ladies behave impudently and dissolutely, which goes against the rules of etiquette. When they meet, they kiss each other, swear, and some even get into fights with boys, completely forgetting about modesty and shyness. I believe that a girl should behave with restraint and, of course, she should not have bad habits, after all, she is an expectant mother. I think that if girls do not change their behavior today, then tomorrow it will become a habit for them, which can be fraught negative consequences. Modesty adorns“We shouldn’t forget about this simple truth.”

Boyko Tatiana

Here’s what an eighth-grader says: “Many teenagers are completely unaware of the true meaning modesty. They are unable to distinguish a modest person from a timid quiet person. But in reality modesty- this is not shyness, but calmness, good behavior and the ability to behave.

Alas, today we are talking about such qualities as shyness and modesty, almost forgotten. Stupid parties, cigarettes, alcohol, obscene language, scandalousness and promiscuity - this is what is being promoted to girls today. And who wouldn’t want to be on the crest of a fashion wave? Is modesty decorative?, if she is not in fashion? As a result, modest young ladies give way to uninhibited girls and remain out of work. In my opinion, the younger generation should show restraint not only in clothes, but in thoughts and actions. Girls should be pure and feminine, they should have shyness and modesty. They must also be smart, proud, well-mannered and remain mysterious in the eyes of guys. The girl is interesting for her inaccessibility, but not for her excessive looseness. Girl's modesty“This is her main decoration.”

Zaitseva Anastasia

Here's what another eighth-grader says: “It seems to me that the concept of girlish modesty began to fade away already during perestroika, when the media passed into the hands of private owners and censorship was lost.

Previously, there were no advertisements on television and the level of censorship was very high, but today during the day sex scenes, advertisements for cigarettes and alcoholic drinks, programs like “Women’s League”, “Comedy Club” and “Our Russia”. All this has a direct impact on the consciousness of adolescents, as well as the formation of their interests. As a result, girls think that behaving on par with boys (fighting, drinking, smoking, swearing) is cool, and this way they attract more attention. I am convinced that they are seriously mistaken. In my opinion, boys like shy and feminine girls, only with such girls can they build serious relationship and start a family. And those people I mentioned above are needed for a fun time, but nothing more. Shyness and modesty- that's what's really cool."

Common misconceptions about girlish modesty

Shy is a gray mouse, quiet, shy and unattractive. Not at all! Modesty- This is, first of all, restraint and good manners. A girl may well be active and have her own opinion, but modesty only decorates her at the same time!
Modesty not in fashion. In fact, this concept is timeless, and fashion trends do not affect it in any way. Exactly modesty, honor and dignity determine the fate of a girl.
Modern guys don't appreciate modesty in girls. Not at all! Many young people consider such girls to be something like a treasure, which not everyone can find.

What is unacceptable in the behavior of a modest girl

Wear revealing outfits to show off your curves.
Apply overly catchy, provocative makeup.
Hang on guys' necks, jump on their laps, hug and kiss everyone indiscriminately.
Upload to social media your half-naked photographs.
Be rude, use foul language, insult, and also allow guys to do this in your presence.
Boast and obsessively demonstrate your positive qualities.
It is disrespectful to elders.
Smoking and drinking alcohol.
Conflict and start fights.
Forget about etiquette standards.

But who is to blame for the fact that such a concept as girlish modesty has sunk into oblivion?

Parents who did not instill in their daughter the necessary qualities.
Media that creates negative images of women.

What should I do?

Listen to the advice of elders.
One should not blindly copy the immoral style of behavior promoted by the media. Modesty for a girl should serve as the main guideline.
Conduct yourself according to the rules of etiquette.
Don't forget that friends don't always give good advice.

The best advisor is conscience. True femininity is purity of soul and thoughts. Even in modern world bogged down in vices, you can maintain this beautiful purity.

admin

In psychology, modesty means moral quality, which shows the individual’s attitude towards himself and others. She is not characterized by arrogance or boasting, and with others she behaves the same with everyone, even if there is a reason for pride. The basis of this quality is positive, but there are negative examples modesty.

What is modesty

Let's look at the concept of modesty in more detail. The term "modest" has existed in our language since XVII century. It means humble, moderate, meek and undemanding. This is the one who doesn't bet own personality taller than others.

Modesty due to cowardice or lack of faith in own strength- the problem of the individual himself. An overly modest or inappropriately modest girl may end up alone forever. But on the other hand, the lack of this quality, selfishness and showing oneself to the detriment of others creates considerable problems.

Modesty and Shyness

A person acquires most of the qualities that are inherent in a person in infancy, and some before birth. Scientists' analyzes say that in the womb we are able to hear not only the conversations of mom and dad, but also capture the mother's thoughts. If a child feels that he is desired, then in the future he will grow up confident in his own abilities. If during pregnancy the mother does not love the child, then he has every chance of growing up as a person without and.

It is worth noting that modesty and shyness are different concepts.

Manifestation of lack of faith in one’s own abilities, fear of not being liked. This quality interferes at first in childhood, but if the child is not helped, then in adulthood he will be afraid to set goals and achieve them.

Modesty is an indicator of the upbringing of a confident person. The man knows his strengths, but does not show them off. Therefore, it is believed that modesty is an adornment.

So, after all, is modesty an adornment to a person or a burden for him? The uniqueness of each individual is undeniable. Based on this, it turns out that life principles, character, set of habits are unique in everyone.

We are similar to each other, but we are different, like snowflakes and fingerprints. For one person something is good, but for another it is the opposite. Based on this, it is difficult to say for sure whether it is better to remain modest or, on the contrary, to do everything for show.

Probably everyone will remember a situation in life when the arrogant behavior of another person humiliated their dignity or offended them, causing outrage. This behavior causes negative emotions. Similar feelings arise when we see unbridled behavior, etc.

Now imagine a girl who, embarrassed, lowers her gaze. Or a man who gives way, offers his hand. Good manners, modesty and respect are almost synonymous concepts. You can remain a modest person, but confident. And it is these individuals who are able to achieve what they want.

Modesty in Religion

All religious movements They encourage people to be simple, humble, and make do with little. The desire for pleasure, in any of its manifestations, has never been welcomed by religions. On the contrary, it is generally accepted that giving up such pleasures will cleanse the body and soul and bring them closer to spiritual benefits.

The opposite of modesty in the religious understanding is pride. This is a sin because it does not allow the individual to show forgiveness, compassion, and humility. Even Christ himself washed his feet own students. IN this action there is a hidden importance that is not immediately noticeable. Hidden here is not just the meaning of renouncing superiority, but also the sacrament of purifying the soul.

Pros of modesty

Let's consider the pros and cons of such a quality as modesty. Let's start with the positive side.

Usually, modesty is inherent in girls because this quality is characteristic of them; it is a decisive factor in creating character. Modest girls have always been an example of femininity. This quality was considered an indicator of manners, politeness, and education. From childhood, girls were taught rules, etiquette, and good manners in schools. Initially, they were instilled with modesty.

IN current time modesty has no such thing high value, but did not go unnoticed. WITH people like this It’s easier to communicate, they are not rude, they don’t offend people. At the same time, we are always ready to help and support. These people do not exalt themselves above others; they maintain some distance. Such a person is unlikely to be able to ask you for anything, but he will gladly fulfill your requests, even to his own detriment.

Modest individuals rarely become the center of intrigue or gossip; rumors do not circulate about them. If you do not like to be in the center of the company, you are an altruist, then modesty is your quality.

Disadvantages of modesty

But not everyone is sure that modesty should be classified as positive trait personality. Some consider this particular trait to be the reason for unluckiness, because modesty is the main disadvantage of a modern person.

But in reality, what does the world know about humble individuals? Nothing. None of famous people cannot be called modest or insecure. Based on this, it is concluded that modesty is not required to achieve heights and prosperity. But this is not the entire list of disadvantages. Modesty causes failure on the personal front.

According to statistics, most Men prefer modest girls, but in practice everything is different. Modesty interests a representative of the stronger sex only in the initial stages, when it acts as a mystery. But if it does not go away with the development of the relationship, then the man loses interest and switches to more relaxed representatives of the fairer sex.

It turns out that due to excessive modesty, a girl can lose her chance and be left alone. This quality is a hindrance not only on the personal front, but in building a career. Moving up when you do all the work for yourself and your colleagues and do not try to get a salary increase becomes impossible.

Humble individuals never desire leadership. What they have is enough for them; they do not try to improve their lives. It is worth saying that there are enough arguments against modesty to force you to reconsider your own attitude towards this trait. Modesty gains negative traits, If:

is on display. This approach is often used insecure people. The one who demonstrates his own shyness and modesty achieves praise. Such actions are called false modesty;
natural modesty is called positive quality, if it did not become the cause of complexes. Often excessive modesty and lack of self-confidence become a real problem. They do not allow the personality to develop.

The reason for excessive modesty, as psychologists are sure, can be the following factors:

genetic. Researchers claim that there is a gene for shyness. From the moment of birth, it is noticeable in individuals with an unstable nervous system;
upbringing. The wrong approach to education and lack of communication skills become constraining for a person, they force him to become overly shy;
childhood trauma. Because of the shock that the person experienced in early age, many qualities can suffer, so modesty is not an exception.

How to get rid of modesty

There are several options for answering the question of how to get rid of modesty. One of them involves character building, training and special classes. Another is to seek support from a specialist. For self-training of character, the following recommendations are suitable:

If you want to do or say something, do it, even if the words or actions turn out to be stupid.
Communicate with others more often. You should not refuse a possible meeting with classmates, classmates, colleagues or friends. Remember, in childhood modesty does not hinder communication.
Stop tormenting yourself with reproaches for failing at something. On the contrary, celebrate what you did well. Think about how to fix what doesn't work.
Use the “casual acquaintance” training. To do this, come to a place where there are a lot of people and try to meet and communicate with complete strangers.

If the above methods do not help, then you need to contact a professional psychological help. The expert will conduct all the required diagnostic tests, and if necessary, develop an action plan and tell you how to overcome modesty.

But fight it personal quality is required only when it acquires excessive character. With moderate modesty, be proud of this feeling, remember that it is a person’s adornment.

April 1, 2014

Modesty is a sign of warmth, softness and femininity. Is modesty necessary? modern woman, is this quality in demand today? Many women boldly declare their needs, knowledge, aspirations and desires to the whole world. They pave their way to future happiness; since childhood they dream of “achieving everything.” People who were brought up in Soviet times, they advise young girls that they need to be more modest.

They sincerely do not understand how they can wear such tight skirts, put so much makeup on their face and walk until dawn. But times, as we know, change, and with the times, people become different. Different manners are instilled, completely opposite methods of education are used. Many things are perceived differently. In a world where you can't turn away, like your place already busy, even strangers they are trying to be rude or push, probably there is no need for modesty. You'll be lost with her.

Therefore, another stereotype has appeared in the world - such a seemingly cute and valuable quality is considered almost shameful. Why? Yes, because the world is ruled by the arrogant and unceremonious. And many people mistake modesty for inhibition, timidity or downtroddenness. In fact, this is completely false. Correct definition modesty is moderation in one's own demands, and not timidity at all. For example, most modern women want to vacation abroad, drive good cars, eat delicious food, live in big house with excellent repairs and so on. They make similar demands on their men. In return, they offer a delicious dinner and a variety of sex. Socialites do not want to fulfill homework and keep an eye on everyday problems. A manicure is much more important to them than a husband left without a fresh shirt. Modest girls who take care of a man and the cleanliness of the house are simply in great demand. They will not command the servants, will not prove anything, or fight for their spouse’s salary. Probably for this reason, wealthy people often choose girls from provincial towns as wives.

Modesty implies a lack of desire for beautiful life. The main advantages of a modest girl are self-respect and inner dignity. She always shows respect for others and prefers to listen rather than talk. At the same time, at modest woman Everything is always in order with self-esteem, so she doesn’t have to assert herself by posting photos from fashionable resorts or showing her friends what branded outfits she bought in an expensive boutique.

Modesty is also shown outwardly. In any case, a modest woman will not allow herself to look vulgar; for her, the concept of “style” is close, and not at all “fashion”. Elegance and moderation in everything. Psychologists analyzing this topic Literally bit by bit, we came to the conclusion that modesty helps to find female happiness. This quality It starts in childhood, but you can keep it by working hard on yourself.

17 comments to “Does a modern woman need modesty?”

Modesty has always been valued and is still valued. Modesty can be understood in different ways, but modesty is most relevant in a woman’s needs and ambitions. Not every man will like an overly demanding wife who forces her husband to work hard at work in order to earn more money. A modest and tactful wife who values love and care will please her husband much more; he will be ready to move mountains for her.

You are confusing modesty with self-sufficiency. Modesty is timidity when a person (no matter a woman or a man) is afraid to express himself, even if it is vital for him; a self-sufficient person simply does not need to flaunt what outsiders should not know; he will be able to demonstrate his value to society and assert himself using standard techniques. At the same time, such a person will not hide his skills and talents when necessary, for example, when writing a resume for employment. Therefore he has much more chances that they will approve his candidacy. A modest person will prefer to keep silent about this, because in childhood he was taught that it is not good to brag, so he is unlikely to get a job. And this applies to any area of our life, there is the same tough competition. The humble simply will not survive in the conditions of " natural selection" Teenagers should be taught moderation, first of all, in their desires. Will they self-sufficient people, depends on their environment.

Modesty is falsely interpreted as an inherent property of women (or at least one that should be inherent). Gender is quite vague concept, and it would be much more appropriate to consider modesty not must have women, and a possible trait, therefore, of both female and male individuals. Do you know modest guys? I do, yes, and it’s individual. Don't stereotype women...

But everyone must decide this question for themselves exclusively. It must be admitted that modesty comes into some conflict with the rhythm modern life And modern views for the role of a woman. However, it seems to me that for the most part all this is feigned and modest women remain in price. Perhaps they should not be ashamed to be themselves.

In general, modesty is a very relevant and controversial topic :)
For example, I cannot say with certainty who I would choose - a modest or immodest girl. Rather, I am for showing modesty in certain situations, and for removing it in others. In my opinion, modesty is a very common concept. It includes a number of other signs, not just the lack of desire for a beautiful life, self-esteem and inner dignity. Modesty also has many shades, it can be caused for various reasons, such as the charming modesty of a young girl, caused more by uncertainty and embarrassment, or the modesty of a woman that comes with self-awareness and life experience. In my opinion, modesty is inherent in women who set their goal not to earn money, luxury, but family life. This does not mean that this woman will deny a rich life: it is simply not her priority.
This is how I see a modest woman) In principle, our opinions with the author are similar, I just wanted to make some adjustments of my own)

Modesty is a very vague concept. What was called modesty among our grandmothers is different from the concept of “modesty” among our parents and is radically different from the concept of “modesty” among the generation of the 90s. In the world of social networks, the concept of modesty is even more vague. A photo in a swimsuit can be interpreted in different ways. On the beach, a swimsuit is the norm, even though many people see you, and photos on social media. networks may cause reproaches. I don’t consider it immodest to want to make a career or achieve a higher wages. Now it’s normal for a woman to work and earn money.

It doesn't matter what century we all live in. Modesty has always been spoken of with respect. Yes, many modern girls and women forgot about this concept and completely in vain. It seems that guys love cheeky ladies. But in reality, they only spend time with them. And modest women are protected, honored and respected. So, there is no need to be ashamed of your modesty. You will never fall in anyone's eyes.

A person should be harmonious, or at least strive for this, and modesty is one of human qualities characteristic of anyone, no matter man or woman. The modern way of life dictates its own conditions for survival and behavior in society, especially since it puts pressure on a woman whose modesty, in the concept of a man, is a sign of sexuality. And whether a modern woman needs modesty in most cases is decided spontaneously and individually, but it is at least unreasonable to prevail over it.

“Psychologists who have analyzed this topic literally bit by bit have come to the conclusion that modesty helps to find female happiness.”
I observed the truth of this statement myself. My close friend, beautiful and smart girl, recently gave birth to her third child. She is very happy - her husband loves, appreciates and takes care of her. She takes care of the house and children, has left her job for now, and plans to later reach 0.5 times the salary. So her husband was the most promiscuous and frivolous guy at our institute. But, as he himself says, she hooked him precisely with her purity and modesty. He always had money and many girls tried to get the most out of him. But she considered it indecent - that’s how she was raised.
And in general, if you look around, men after 35 years begin to incline to the fact that modesty and caring in a wife are the main thing.

I agree with the author. A person can have great authority and respect, but at the same time be modest. Modesty does not show itself off. A humble person knows how to listen. He proves his talents not with words, but with deeds. Such a person is not focused on himself, but is able to help and lift. At the same time, without wanting fame for myself. Usually a humble person is praised by others, not himself. And such a personality is worthy of praise!

I agree that the concept of modesty is not unambiguous, in different layers society, in different regions one country in different countries and layers of different incomes, the traits inherent in a modest girl will be different and perceived completely differently, but they will be called the same. Someone will be driving a modest car for one million dollars and in the circle of their wealthy friends driving cars ten times more expensive, she will be modest, outfits will be regarded similarly, it will be completely different in ordinary non-celebrity strata, where refusal may be considered modesty. drinking with the whole company or smoking cigarettes, of course, these are extremes, but still, each person must choose a style of behavior that is comfortable for herself and does not cause negativity from others, although sometimes this is not at all easy.

Modesty and restraint are one of the main female qualities, which are certainly perceived positively by all men; women with such qualities are valuable, and therefore you can often hear the opposite from envious girlfriends, because they themselves have lost such qualities. There are many ways to emphasize your figure, your taste in clothes and makeup, while remaining gentle, bright and beautiful, unfortunately, many use an unprofessional approach and make their image vulgar, which is why others react accordingly.

What is modesty? - I could be wrong, but everyone has their own idea. Lifestyle, beliefs, even appearance features - all this influences a girl’s behavior in different ways, so their “modesty” will be different. Yes, often a modest person is mistaken for downtrodden, and now it’s easier for arrogant individuals, I agree with this a thousand percent, not even a hundred percent, therefore, having experienced the “delights” modest behavior I began to distinguish between situations when modesty is a virtue and when modesty is a reason to sit on one’s neck, that is, to find “ golden mean" A modest girl is generally not expected to rebuff boors, they say, she’s a downtrodden fool, and she won’t really understand, but if she understands, she’ll still be embarrassed and afraid to offend, and if she’s not afraid, then we’ll throw another caustic phrase at her, and she’ll quiet down! WRONG! I completely agree with the article, it’s a terrible stereotype started by those who want to do dirty tricks with impunity! Just like the belief of some that the shy little one sits in the corner and doesn’t know how to have fun, doesn’t joke or laugh. It’s infuriating to think that dancing on the table is an indicator of confidence and sexuality, and being shy in the company of strangers is an anomaly! People, believe me, quiet people also don’t mind having fun and going to a club with their girlfriends, they just don’t need demonstrative behavior for comfort and joy. For me, a modest woman is one who simply does good and behaves with dignity, but will never say: “I am modest”! Well, very modest lady, if you don’t praise yourself, then don’t expect others to praise you!!! I believe that you can wear diamonds modestly if you silently know that you have more than others, but do not boast about it and do not show off an expensive ring or a branded handbag. This modest girl exudes modesty from her. Even the concept of “modest woman” describes the concept of “simplicity”. Ease of communication with others, not pretentious behavior when you have a sports car in your garage, but you understand perfectly well that this is not accessible to everyone and you communicate equally with both pensioners and directors. Yes, you are right about the wardrobe of a modest woman, this is “style”! Sequins and minis for a party, jeans for school, and classics for an interview! Modesty cannot be a fashionable or outdated concept. Kindness and appropriate behavior always at a premium, but the ability to show your teeth in time is a must!

I'll touch on one today interesting topic associated with the development of confidence in life. Do you feel like something is holding you back on your path to confidence? In reality, this is true. There is something that bothers us. And this something can grow from childhood.

We were taught that the best adornment of a person is modesty, that we must “keep a low profile, and they will notice.” This is the program that is firmly ingrained in our brains, and we pass this program on to our children.

About five years ago I had a conversation with a university graduate who was going for a honors diploma. When asked how she sees her future and what she plans to do, the girl blinked her eyes in surprise: “Why, they’ll notice me anyway.” Alas, we didn’t notice...

So let's figure it out Is modesty necessary in the modern world? and how it relates to self-confidence.

What's happened
modesty?

Traditionally, modesty is considered a virtue. But look at the interpretation of this word: modest man– the one who is moderate in his demands accepts what is happening meekly and humbly. This is a soft and meek person, submissive and undemanding. Most importantly, a person does not shout about his own merits and merits.

If you look at the most important ones, you can see modesty among them. After all, a modest person himself says that he has no special talents, that he is ready to bend to the demands of society and limit himself. This is the trap.

I'm not against modesty, but modesty is not the point rather, it is a straight line, on one side of which there is self-abasement and lack of faith in one’s own strengths, and on the other, arrogance and pride.

One wonderful parable says that everyone should have two pieces of paper in their pocket: “For my sake the whole world was created” and “Dust you are and to dust you will return.” The main thing for a person is to know when to take out which piece of paper and read it. By the way, in ancient China modest was considered the one who realized his smallness in comparison with the Universe.

A humble person is not one who does not show others his capabilities and potential. A truly humble person is aware of his own strength and abilities. He doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. But this is a manifestation of confidence. This is how all great people behave. They simply do what they love and are confident in themselves.

True
modesty

True modesty manifests itself precisely when the feeling self-esteem supported by the deepest self-confidence. A person knows his worth, realizes his strength, does not shy away from his beauty, appreciates his talent. He understands that he absolutely does not need the attention or constant admiration of others. Such a person will never elevate himself by putting others down.

However, people often hide behind modesty low self-esteem and yours complexes: timidity, shyness or increased vulnerability. There may also be fear complexes - either a person is afraid to say something wrong, or he is afraid to do something wrong. He is afraid of refusals and ridicule. All this grows from childhood.

This is what the constant guardianship of parents can lead to when they instill in the child “keep your head down,” “don’t give in,” “don’t be too smart,” “don’t stand out.” All this kills self-confidence, lowers the child’s self-esteem, and a person leaves school completely unsure of life. A timid, cautious, shy, downtrodden, complex little man appears. Is this how you wanted your children to be? Did you want them to avoid failure or unpleasant experiences?

Modesty cannot be taught, but confidence can be instilled and developed in a child. high self-esteem. Thus, we give him the opportunity to become extraordinary personality and therefore truly modest.

And if you are unlucky and you received such an “inheritance” from your parents, then there is always a chance to change your life. Remember that your future is in your hands. And if you have realized your complexes, then this is your first step. Start developing confidence, because it is a muscle that can be pumped up.

Modesty
and confidence

Confidence is closely related to awareness of your Purpose. It is very important for every person to know that he not only came into this world, but can give him something. Only by realizing yourself can you give something real to the World. Therefore, it is important not to “sit and keep your head down,” but, on the contrary, to fully realize your potential. Don’t hide behind so-called modesty, but cultivate self-confidence. A person who lacks self-confidence will never be able to realize himself.

Self-love and self-confidence only bring happiness to a person’s life, allowing you to live without stereotypes and fears. You can’t build your life based on someone else’s beliefs; always have your own and live by them. At the same time, you should not hide behind a screen of modesty. Instead, try to overcome your self-doubt.

This little exercise can help you with that:

Write down 10 of your shortcomings and highlight those whose assessment was imposed on you from the outside. You will be surprised how few shortcomings will remain, mainly those that do not interfere with your life.

Therefore, do not focus on your imperfections, live in full force and develop yourself further. Don't be true modesty equally separated from both arrogance and self-abasement. Confidence in life comes from your actions, so value yourself and be open to the world.

And in conclusion, let's look at how children understand modesty - one of the episodes of the popularly beloved “Yeralash”.

If you have chosen writing as your profession, then being modest for you is an unforgivable impudence. It sounds strange, but it's true. And, by the way, this applies not only to writers - to all public professions. Do you still think that you need to be more modest and cannot advertise yourself? Congratulations, the public will think you are an impudent and a hypocrite. And he will do to you the worst thing that the public can do to a novice creator, namely: ignore you.

Why arrogance and hypocrisy? I will be happy to explain in the second part of the note. To begin with, let me remind you this: in the modern world, public people are forgiven a lot. They forgive shocking antics and swear words. They forgive impudence and bravado, evoking beauty and ugliness, nudity and complete shamelessness. Even mediocrity is forgiven if it looks funny - they applaud, like, comment. Only modesty is not forgiven, although we were all taught in childhood that this is a virtue.

I myself went through this hell at the very beginning. I made stupid mistakes: I posted books in their entirety at once, silently and modestly waited for reviews, and for the first six months I received, scary to say, as many as two or three comments a week on new novel. I didn’t even have a VKontakte account. I guess it took a lot of work for me to get angry. Write three novels in six months to think - where are all my readers? Why do they read and remain silent?

That’s why I created the “Writer’s Courage” challenge for beginners. What is it? This is two weeks of continuous tasks and a constant race against deadlines. Competitions. A lot of new tasks, practice and constant writing. Extreme sport for writers. Ask those who passed whether it was easy for them. Nevertheless, out of twenty people, fifteen survived to the end. And judging by their feedback, they saw the point and got some results.

“At first there was fear. Where am I going? Who are all these people? I had never participated in a challenge before, but then I realized that it was time to get out of my cozy shell and do something. The shell confidently withstood the blow. About two hours. And then suddenly it burst and forced me to look at bright light another world."

Katerina Teryokhina

"Fear... Fear that your creation many will not like it, unwillingness to hear negative reviews about a small grain of your soul left in a work, they force you to hide in a dark corner and not attract anyone’s attention.But... Sometimes there comes a time when a small ray of sunshine makes its way into your dark refuge. It will beckon you to come to you. And so you take a step forward, remove the shackles of fear, uncertainty, timidity.”

Nadezhda Oleshkevich

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