How to deal with envious people. Envious people: how to deal with them? What to do if envy has “sprouted” within you

Envy is not the best thing human quality. It is not surprising that we try to avoid fierce envious people and communicate with them as little as possible. But what if this is not possible?

Even the most wonderful and close person to you can catch the virus of envy. After all, we constantly, reluctantly and unconsciously, compare ourselves with others, and if this comparison is not in our favor, we begin to envy. A friend who is having problems personal life, can easily experience a sharp attack of envy when you tell her what a great gift your husband gave you. A neighbor counting pennies will look askance at your new fur coat. A childless colleague will wince when your child calls you at work...

Of course, you can and should work with your own envy: get rid of your complexes and the habit of comparing, shift the emphasis from other people’s achievements to your own. But a person must carry out this work independently. Unfortunately, it is impossible to influence an envious person from the outside. How to communicate with him, protecting yourself as much as possible from his unkind attention and negative emotions?

Understand the nature of his envy. Yes, my sister is not here right now better times, so she looks with envy at your successes. However, this does not mean that she treats you badly, it does not mean that she has stopped loving you. Her envy is her personal problem, but not yours!

Neutralize your negativity. It is better to look at an envious person as a person who has contracted an illness. Yes, it’s unpleasant, but it’s not fatal to your health and your relationships. Try to... feel sorry for him. Not out loud, God forbid, this will only set your interlocutor even more against you! Feel sorry for yourself, mentally.

Give a mental gift. Imagine how everything that he lacks simply falls from the sky onto your envious person: luck, love, wealth. Imagine how it rains down on him from above from the blessings that he lacks.

Focus his attention on his achievements. If your friend is desperately jealous of your career, you shouldn’t “become poor” at every opportunity, saying that you have little success, and in general, everything is not so simple. Most likely, your words will only make her angrier. Do it differently: shift the conversation to her achievements, and every person has them. A woman who is unsuccessful in business can be an excellent housewife, so praise the cleanliness of her home and her culinary talents. Having not yet found her soul mate, she may be an excellent painter or systematically involved in sports. You can, on occasion, say: “I envy your willpower (abilities, accuracy) so much!” This phrase will certainly raise her self-esteem and shift the focus of the conversation to her.

Offer help. But your proposal should not be too deliberate, “in the forehead”, otherwise it will only offend the interlocutor. Perhaps your help will consist in the fact that you will temporarily distract him from sad thoughts, say, by inviting him to a concert or a walk. It might be worth asking, “Can I help you?” However, only offer help if you are ready to actually help.

Show that everything is ahead. When a person has a bad streak in life, he probably believes that this is forever. That he will never get out of poverty, never meet his soul mate, or find a job he likes. Let him know that all troubles are temporary. Tell us that moments of despair have also happened to you, but now everything is behind you. Perhaps your words will encourage him, but be prepared for the fact that they will cause protest and irritation, they say, it’s good for you to say that, you’re in chocolate... In this case, just switch the conversation to something neutral .

If everything goes well in a person’s life, others begin to envy him. Sometimes envy is “white”, which is not so scary, since everything is limited to a statement of fact. It is much worse when envy is “black”. In this case, someone who is often lucky in life is subjected to a real energy attack. in a subtle way. This can last until trouble happens, which acts as a catharsis for the envious.

Subtle Plan

A person who is envied should always try to live on a positive wave, so as not to lose his luck and continue to attract more good things into life. In this case, attacks from envious people, if they cause harm, will be temporary and almost unnoticeable. Positive energy will help correct the general energy-information background, and the one who sent “negative arrows” will receive everything back.

All people are connected invisible energy waves and information fields. Therefore, the one who is envied by everyone is constantly attacked. To reflect them and continue to develop, you need to remain at your level of energy and consciousness.
In addition, there is no need to cling to your luck and take everything for granted. This is more a matter of increasing self-esteem.

Visible world

If you don’t delve into subtle matters, but look at it from the perspective material world, then living among envious people is difficult, but possible. You need to continue your path, trying to improve relationships with those who are jealous. This could be a joint hike, organizing a festive feast, general visit baths and much more. You must try to be simple and direct, even realizing that there may be only envious people around.

They often envy a successful career, big money, a good family, a large apartment, and popularity. If a person has more of something than others, an invisible line is drawn between him and others. It is important to try to erase this line, showing that we are all beautiful in our own way, we have a set of certain good qualities, features.

Again about subtlety

If a person does not notice that he is envied, he will not be affected by an energy attack from “black” envious people. This means that he himself does not cling to his lucky status, does not boast of what he has. That is, if there are envious people around you, it means that you yourself contributed to this by drawing an invisible line between yourself and others. Once you stop considering yourself better than others, the situation will immediately improve and attacks on the subtle plane will decrease significantly.
It’s not for nothing that our distant ancestors said: “What’s inside is outside.”

This speaking method will help you more tactfully express how you feel about this person's jealousy-driven behavior and describe how it affects you. If you are in a close relationship with someone who is jealous of you, look for a way out by constructively working through the issue of trust with your partner. And finally, study the features of such a phenomenon as jealousy and ways to change the situation for the better.

Steps

Understanding the Nature of Jealousy

Don't worry if this person behaves negatively around you. Jealousy makes people invent a lot of non-existent negative phenomena both about ourselves and about relationships. If you are in a relationship with someone who is very jealous of you, then most likely he will take many of your words and actions personally, even when it does not apply to him. For example, if you spend the evening together and you are tired after have a long day and want to return home early to go to bed, this person will conclude that you are bored with him.

• In response to negativity on his part, do not start defending yourself. Just talk openly about what's going on inside you. For example: “I’m not yawning because I’m bored with you. I enjoy spending time with you. I’m very sleepy because I had to get up at 5am today to get to work early.”

1. Pay attention if you notice that a person pays attention exclusively to all the good things in your life and ignores all the bad things.

   Often people experiencing jealousy are unable to understand the complexity of another person's life because they are too busy with their own experiences and fears. Consider whether your partner in your relationship is feeling fearful or threatened. Some jealous people are prone to everything good that they have loved one

   • see yourself as a threat.

2. For example, they may constantly talk about how great your friendships are with other people because they themselves don't feel like you have a good friendship, and this makes them jealous. Unfortunately, any good relationship with other people will be perceived by them as a threat, even if you do not perceive them that way at all and do not even compare these relationships. Be careful: social media may make the situation worse. People are often unable to appreciate the complexity of relationships and, viewing them through the lens of social networks. For example, someone who is jealous of you may perceive your life as a series of cheerful photos on your page. This distorted view can give them the impression that they know you and your life well, although in reality they may be extremely far from it.

   • Change the privacy settings on your social media pages.

3. Learn how and when to distance yourself from a person. If you understand what triggers a jealous outburst, it will be easier for you to correct the situation. For example, if one of your friends gets jealous every time he hears that you have a new boyfriend, there are several options you can choose from.

   • You can avoid talking about your relationships with guys with or in front of this person. You don't have to post photos with your new guy on social networks. And finally, don’t arrange get-togethers with a jealous friend and your boyfriend.
   • But remember that you need to find a solution that allows your ex to reconcile with the situation, and not just avoid him.
   • Sometimes the best thing to do is to give that person a little more space without you. If you see that a person is withdrawn, communicate briefly and in a positive way. For example, if this is a work colleague, you can say: “I heard you had great sales this month. Keep it up!"

   Effective communication

   1. Share your feelings with the person. If this is a conversation with a friend who is showing jealousy towards you, use “I statements” to convey to him how you feel about it. Start by saying, “I feel,” and then describe your feelings about one time that person said or did something out of jealousy.

      Describe the specific behavior that makes you feel this way. It is necessary to talk only about the behavior that you can observe, without mentioning the reasons that, in your opinion, caused such behavior.

      Explain exactly how this person's actions affect you, or say how you tend to interpret it.

      • For example, you might explain your feelings like this: “I feel annoyed when you ask if I have plans to hang out with my other friends because I automatically assume that you'll be upset if you know I want to hang out with them.” .
      • You can also tell how you interpret certain of his actions. For example, you could say, “I feel annoyed when you ask me again if I want to hang out with my other friends because I feel like you don’t trust me and are always expecting me to betray you.”
      • Try not to place all the blame on the other person in your explanations. For example, it is better not to say: “I feel like I have to answer your text messages because you are always jealous.”

   Ways to overcome jealousy in relationships

   1. Distinguish where normal human jealousy ends and dependence and violence begin. Below are a few warning signs that you may be in an unhealthy relationship. If the person next to you is trying his best to isolate you, control you, or show other extremes due to jealousy, you need help.

      Take a quiet moment and invite your partner to talk. Say that you want to sit down and talk for a few minutes about your relationship. Find out if this is a convenient time for him to have such a conversation. Choose a place where you can talk calmly and openly.

      • Turn off the TV or any other noise source. Sit nearby and focus on the conversation.

   2. Tell your partner openly about your feelings. Use the statements given in the first section of the article. Try to convey what is happening to you and how his jealousy affects you and your relationship.

      • In addition to expressing your feelings, you may want to discuss when exactly these jealousy attacks started and how it affects your relationship. For example, you could say, “Because I once had a very jealous boyfriend, I was very alarmed when I received your text asking who I was with.”

   3. Focus on getting your point across clearly. When you describe your feelings, explain how your memories, expectations, hopes, or conclusions from the situation provoke those feelings. Start phrases with: “I imagined...”, “I understand that...” or “I wanted...” to explain to your partner as clearly as possible what is going on inside you.

   4. Try to resolve the trust issue through joint efforts. This means both people must take active position to build mutual trust. Take and analyze a specific problem in your relationship. Everyone must speak out and explain what behavior he expects from his partner in a given situation. You can jointly come up with some tasks for each other that will allow you to resolve the situation in a positive way. An example of an active decision would be the following: “Every time I talk to any girl, I will catch your eye for a couple of seconds so that I can mentally tell you that I love you.”

      • Try not to make large or unrealistic demands. For example, saying: “I wish you wouldn’t talk to girls anymore” is not a very healthy way to solve a problem. The solution must be practical and feasible.

   5. Develop your communication skills as a couple. When discussing jealousy or any other relationship problem, use a couple simple techniques communication aimed at creating mutual respect and acceptance. First of all, speak in short sentences. Second, show empathy for the other’s experience. And third, acknowledge what he said and respond by demonstrating your understanding of what your partner expressed.

      • Use short sentences and be honest and open with your partner. Say: “It hurts me that you suspect me of cheating.”
      • Show empathy in your conversation. Say, “I really appreciate your honesty and willingness to share your feelings with me. I know it wasn’t easy for you to say all this.”
      • When responding to your partner's words, repeat often what he said. For example: “You say that you are uncomfortable because I am friends with my ex-boyfriend, and now I'm thinking about what I can do to make you feel safe."

Why are people envious and angry, huh? What to do if there is an envious person at work? I will answer these questions especially for the readers of Popular About Health. Unfortunately, there are people who cannot rejoice in the happiness and success of others. At the same time, not only colleagues at the workplace, but even the closest people can become envious.

Firstly, envy is a person’s desire to have what another has in abundance. Secondly, an envious person wants evil for a person and his behavior is such that if I don’t have it, then you won’t have it either. You can be envious in different ways: someone is more beautiful, smarter, richer, someone has a better position, has children and a family, and so on.

If a person is jealous and at the same time desires evil, then this is a destructive feeling. But we can also say that if a person wants to achieve the same heights that the one he envies has achieved, and at the same time treats him well, this, on the contrary, will spur him to achieve what he wants, but this does not happen often, mainly the envious person experiences negative feeling to a more successful comrade, which is bad. Envious people often do not rejoice at the successes of others; they regard this as a kick to achieving their own successes.

Why do people envy other people?

Envy, as a feeling, is formed in the process of education in childhood. Of course, parents wish only the best for their children, but due to their ignorance they give the child no proper upbringing.

Often envy is formed due to, it would seem, simple phrases: "Look at Valya's Nice picture turned out, what did you draw?" And how will the child feel? Probably, he will simply hate Valya and just want to tear up her picture. She will feel that they love her less because of this. As a result, children's complexes will gradually develop, which will definitely appear in adulthood.

Adults, when they compare children between children, spoil the relationship between children, and also instill a feeling of uncertainty, fear, and mistrust. Such a child will feel deprived, offended, and uncomfortable.

How to recognize an envious person at work?

Usually, an envious person can be identified, and if such a person appears at work, there are a number of signs by which he can be identified. For example, such a person has hatred without any objective reasons. If you noticed this from your colleague, here the best option will not go on conflict situation and just let her go.

Another trait of an envious co-worker is the desire for constant gossip. In addition, the envious person will talk behind his back; they have little courage to go into some kind of direct conflict with the person. A weapon against this can be a frank conversation with a gossip.

In addition, an envious person will simply fly with wings if he finds out that the one for whom he has an envious feeling has suffered defeat. No one is immune from mistakes. Skills and diligence will gradually return to their former results, and the envious person will remain where he was. Don't give in to negativity and move forward boldly.

Envious people are your closest competitors. They will always try to get on the same level with you, although you are simply doing your own thing, without regard for others. Don’t pay attention to those who stare at you with envy from behind, just don’t turn around and don’t have contact with such people. And yet - the best weapon against envious people is self-confidence, self-control and a sense of humor.

You can talk to someone who is jealous of you, explain to him the importance of being yourself, that you should not copy others. You can admire the success of the envious person, which will give him confidence. If this is difficult and impossible to do, then just be patient. More often than not, envy is a lack of self-confidence. Try to praise the one who envies you, try to celebrate his successes.

People who envy are the most unhappy creatures deep down. Inner fear prevents them from moving forward. If you can, think about how you can help such a person to make him happier. Do not waste your energy on a conflict situation, do not spoil the mood.

The recommendations will be as follows. Try to limit your time communicating with him to a minimum. Envious evil people don't know how much effort it takes to achieve success, so you can tell them how much effort you put in to achieve everything. Perhaps your interlocutor will be convinced that nothing just fell from the sky on you, but that you just need to work and achieve your goals.

Many people have probably heard that you need to be happy quietly. Therefore, do not talk about successes and good relations with your spouse, always guard your peace so that happiness is only yours. Never complain about failures, as this will be used by an envious person against you, and do not react to barbs. Be confident and love yourself. Let go of all the past negative events. Live for today, enjoy every little thing.

You can find an amulet that will protect you from evil envious people, do this, for example, just pin a pin, especially if you believe in such amulets, then it will work on psychological level you will feel much more comfortable. But better than a talisman is a kind, loving attitude towards the person who experiences destructive, envious emotions towards you; as a result of such behavior, you will experience psychological comfort.