True kindness today is a luxury that is difficult to find in modern world. Many people believe that kind person someone who simply does not do evil - however, in my opinion it is more neutral person than really kind. Kindness must be manifested first of all in thoughts and actions, only then will a person be truly kind and will sow this energy around him.
I wrote quick guide about how to become kinder - this memo will help every person become a little kinder. Thanks to these rules, I became a kind and sweet girl.
Why do you need to be kind?
It would seem that the absence of bad deeds is already a great result, and is it possible to wish for more? I thought this way throughout my life until, quite by accident, I met a girl who was truly kind and brought light and positivity to everyone around her. To be honest, I was immediately interested in this - I was already thinking about how to be kinder.It was clear that she puts a lot of effort into this, she sincerely monitors herself and her behavior, tries to be nice and not conflict with anyone. From our conversations, I learned that this behavior is her personal interpretation positive attitude to the world and to people, which is largely dictated by religion.
One day she found herself in a difficult situation and no one came to her aid. She learned a lesson from that situation, and decided that since there is so little kindness in the world, then it is necessary to increase its amount. It was with her that I consulted when I was thinking about how to become a kind person.
There is another side to the issue - good deeds usually return a hundredfold. It is unknown how this works, but it has been noticed more than once or twice - once you do a good deed for someone who needs it, you can expect gifts from fate in the near future. They are not always material (and this is even good), but they are always very significant for a person.
The benefits of kindness
- Scientists have proven that kind people live longer. It turns out that being nice is good for your health and longevity.
- Cosmetologists emphasize that kind people only become more beautiful with age - it’s all about facial wrinkles and small facial expressions, which we have practically no control over. The wicked and aggressive people Quite often, small facial muscles are tense, which is why the face takes on an unpleasant expression.
- When you yourself adhere to a certain system of behavior, a certain atmosphere gradually develops around you. Who wouldn't want to live the life of a kind and sweet girl?
- Good deeds bring unexpected dividends.
- Fair people are more pleasant, they have more friends - everyone wants to be friends with a nice and calm woman.
How to take the path of goodness
How to become kinder? First of all, you need to define for yourself what it means to be kind and sweet. When I thought about this, I came up with the following concept for myself - goodness comes first large stock unconditional love to the world and everything around us and the willingness to do something. Love for the world is a complex phenomenon, but I believe that this should be learned - and not just in order to seem nice to your friends and acquaintances, but in order to learn how to live happy life, enjoy every day you live.The desire to become better can be achieved through change. In my case, it was necessary to slightly change the concept of relationships with people - I am quite sarcastic, and often offended people. Yes, I’m sure it wasn’t out of malice, but on the other hand, does it matter to the person I offended whether I did it on purpose or in passing?
I thought carefully about my behavior and decided to stop criticizing others without their asking for it, and also refrain from harsh and sarcastic comments. If there is something to praise, if it is difficult to find a reason for praise, just pass by. Ultimately, few people are interested in other people's opinions.
The next step is to learn to do good. I sometimes fed stray animals, and I thought that this was a really good and useful thing. Isn't it bad when kittens go hungry? Badly. And I, therefore, am a young man and a rescuer. However, then I looked critically at my actions and realized that this was some kind of wrong kind of good.
I used this technique to further correct behavior, and thus I stopped bringing pancakes from the dining room to the office of a colleague who is on a diet, started bringing fruits and vegetables to my mother instead of sweets and candies (it turned out that my mother practically stopped eating sweets), and began really cute in the eyes of others. I finally learned to hear the people around me and take into account their wishes.
The ability to be grateful
Love for the world is also expressed. The best lesson What life taught me was the ability to make the world after me a little better than it was before me. In fact, it’s simple - throw away someone else’s candy wrapper, consciously smile at passers-by, put purchases at the checkout in the order that it is most convenient for the cashier to count them. Small things like this really help change the world, and if you start changing yourself, the world will respond positively.The ability to thank people and the universe is an important part of this path. As soon as a person begins to do something, make some decisions, follow principles, he begins to feel the value of everything that happens around him. This is a purely intangible phenomenon, but very important.
Imagine that a heavy door on the subway was not held for you, and it hurt you painfully. Surely you will be more grateful to those people who will hold the door next time, and you will not get hurt. Small acts of kindness from the world and people around us deserve gratitude. Of course, it is best expressed in words or deeds, but best thanks in this case, the tradition of doing small good deeds to other people will continue.
My experience
They helped me good books and good advice from knowledgeable people- I chose several of my friends who I considered positive and kind, and followed their recommendations. At first it was not easy, and then a natural shock happened to me - it was as if my eyes were opened, I began to see how much indifference there was in me and in those around me. The desire to change this gave me strength, and I still try to spread goodness around me.It's not as difficult as it seems - you just need to be a little more attentive to the world. Every day I ask myself - what can I do today for the world and other people? How can I help our planet become a better place? And you know, the answer is always there.
Sometimes it’s an old lady who has no one to talk to - I patiently walk her from the store to the entrance and listen to her simple news, sometimes it’s volunteer work (I’m also still helping an animal shelter), sometimes it’s just something good - planting flowers around at home, look after the neighbor's kids.
My relationships with my family and loved ones have also changed. I can't say that there are any dramatic changes, we have always been friends, but now my parents have begun to truly trust me - they know that I will always come to the rescue. And my little sister is not afraid to share her secrets with me - because now, instead of sarcastic comments, she receives support and love.
New habits
- Listen to the world and the people around you.
- Do not get into quarrels and conflicts, try not to become the cause of them.
- Treat everything that happens with understanding.
- Not only to appear cute, but also to be cute - sincerity should become a faithful companion.
- Making the world around you better.
Will following the rules mentioned in it help a person become kinder? Write your memo. You can use the rules that are proposed in this memo.
Try to see the good and kind in people, first of all! This makes everyone around you become kinder and nicer.
Be kind to people!
Learn good from the good!
From good - good,
From evil - evil is born...
D. Likhachev: “Strive to walk the paths of goodness, as simply and unconsciously as you walk in general. The paths and roads of our beautiful garden, which is called the surrounding world, are so easy, so comfortable, the meetings on them are so interesting, if only the “initial data” are chosen correctly by you.”
Kant: “Kindness is our duty. The one who often fulfills it and sees his good intentions come true, eventually begins to really love the one for whom he did good. The words: “Love your neighbor as yourself” do not mean that you must first love him and only then, as a consequence of your love, do good to him. No, you must do good to your neighbor, and this activity of yours will ignite in you love for humanity, which will be the consequence of your activity aimed at goodness.”
A. Schweitzer: “Good is that which serves to preserve and develop life; evil is that which destroys life or hinders it.”
L. Tolstoy: “Effort is needed to do good, but it is even more necessary to abstain from evil. Life without moral effort is a dream.”
A. Yakovlev: “Each living creature Every action necessarily contributes to something: either good or evil. There are no “neutral” actions.”
L. Tolstoy: “To believe in good, you must start doing it.”
V. Brzeszczyk: “Good exists where it is constantly created.”
A. Schweitzer: “Evil is that which destroys life or interferes with it.”
Appendix 3
Good and evil in Russians folk tales
I want to explain such concepts as good and evil, citing heroes of Russian folk tales as examples. Good and evil are the main ones moral concepts in life. It is these concepts that guide people in their actions. From the point of view of good and evil, a person evaluates both his actions and the actions of other people. Good is moral value, which refers to human activity, a pattern of people’s actions and relationships between them. To perform moral (good) actions consciously, selflessly, and not with the expectation of benefit or reward - means to do good. For example, in the fairy tale “The Frog Princess,” everyone helps Ivan Tsarevich because he is kind: he does not shoot a bear, drake, or hare, he saves the pike by throwing it into the sea and saves Vasilisa the Wise from the evil Koshchei. And in the fairy tale “Morozko”, the hardworking sister, who helps everyone and works tirelessly, receives a reward from Morozko, but the lazy and rude one receives nothing and everyone laughs at her. Evil is the opposite of good and is what morality seeks to eliminate and correct. Evil can exist in different actions of people. For example, in the fairy tale “Kolobok”, the fox tricked the little bun onto his nose and ate it. And in the fairy tale " Goldfish“The greedy old woman wants to have everything, but in the end she gets nothing. Because she is evil and her greed knows no bounds.
Even in Russian folk tales, the meaning was laid down that good is good and evil is bad. Good heroes They always help, but they don’t like evil people. And good always triumphs over evil!
You don’t have to graduate from university to learn kindness - study and implement these 9 rules on how to become a kind person, and you simply won’t recognize yourself.
1. The fundamental rule in the case is how to become a kind person, there is the ability to be grateful to everyone and everything for what you already have. Too often we take what we have for granted and for granted. And at the same time we constantly grieve for what we don’t have. Try to appreciate what you already have and imagine that someone else doesn’t have that either.
2. If possible, give thanks! Especially if words of gratitude are simply bursting from your chest. Make it a habit to say a simple “thank you” whenever appropriate. This way you will automatically learn to be grateful and can become a kind person.
3. Impossible become a kind person, if you are constantly discussing someone. Especially in disrespectful terms. Imagine that someone allows themselves to behave this way at your expense. Will you like it? Surely not. Therefore, try to evaluate someone only when it is truly appropriate.
4. Watch yourself when you criticize someone. Of course, sometimes it is important to make some fair point, but do not overdo it. Become a kind person perhaps when criticism is aimed at pointing out mistakes to a person. Then you give him the opportunity to realize them and correct himself. If you try to humiliate him, reduce his achievements or qualities, you will not succeed in becoming a kind person.
5. Try, at least a little, to understand each of those around you, no matter how badly he behaves. Everyone has their own opinion on certain things, and it is not at all necessary that it will coincide with yours. Treat this with understanding and patience. This will increase your communication skills, horizons are expanded. Don't limit yourself to just your own opinion.
6. Give people compliments, and as often as possible. Find something about everyone that you really like. Try to divert your attention from what irritates you about the person. It is enough to simply note a good hairstyle, good makeup, excellent pants - and a person will already feel joyful in his soul. Sometimes this inspires people to great deeds.
7. Strive to do more good deeds. At every step, even in small things. Letting a pedestrian pass even where he shouldn’t cross, picking up a fallen thing for someone, giving up a seat in a vehicle - all this makes you kinder, even from your inner feelings. And if you hear words of gratitude in response, nothing can replace this joy.
8. Don't get involved in, try to avoid them. But leave behind the feeling that you can stand up for yourself. The most important thing is not to waste your internal energy to unnecessary squabbles. It is better to direct it to necessary and, again, good deeds. If you see that you are still not understood and are unlikely to be understood, take it for granted and move on. Once you make this decision, you will feel how much easier your life is.
9. And most importantly, don’t forget to show kindness to your loved one! It is impossible to be kind if you are unable to be kind to yourself. First of all, you must love yourself, and only when you feel this, people will also begin to show reciprocal feelings towards you.
That's how simple they are 9 rules for becoming a kind person.
Why is kindness not given to everyone?
Who is practically born with inner feeling good, but someone has to develop this feeling in themselves. There's nothing terrible here, you'll just have to make it a little more difficult. In addition, people who seem kind are not always that way. How can you understand that a person treats you kindly? As we know from a very old song: friendship begins with a smile. Therefore, a kind person is a smiling one! But how to become kinder if everything around you practically demands nervous breakdowns, aggression, anger and moralizing? There is no need to worry, everyone can become kind, even the saddest and nervous man, the main thing is to start taking care of yourself...
Although for the most part it’s worth watching not specifically for yourself, but for your thoughts and wishes. For example, when you come to new company, most people immediately think that they disliked him. This may be true, but you need to understand that people cannot love you without knowing you. So you need to tune in to what unfamiliar people They are just studying you, but you yourself need to become more smiling and friendly, then others will also see your inner kindness. Whether we will have kindness or not is not known, and when we look in the mirror, we look at ourselves with different eyes than those around us. So don’t immediately expect that you will be accepted and loved by everyone around you overnight - prove that there is something to love you for.
How can you become kinder than you are now?
If you are constantly told or hinted that you angry man, want to be kinder and more condescending to others, to understand people and their actions, which means you lack kindness within yourself! This results in indignation, but people around will not understand your loneliness, and to understand people, you need to be kinder. How to become kind in the modern world and is it possible? Actually possible! You just need to fantasize and be able to imagine any imaginary picture.
Don't blame people for their actions. They have a conscience for this, and you should support the person close to you and try to understand his action, if it is not a betrayal towards you, of course. In addition, it is worth distinguishing between a person’s one-time mistake and a constant attitude towards you (even if a person cheats on his partner, this can be forgiven, given that the mistake is understood and punished, but if cheating has been, is and will continue, it cannot be tolerated).
Don't take revenge on others. Even if someone did something unpleasant to you, do not do something unpleasant in return. Everything will return to normal in time. You can reassure yourself that you will become kinder, and your offender will always be waiting for a trick. In addition, it is impossible to take revenge so that the result is “1:1”, because taking a guy away from a friend (and she had and will have a lot of these guys) and ruining a car (for which another friend saved up or took out a loan and makes money with it) - there will be different things for different people. Just as for one person a guy will be more expensive than a car, but for another person a phone will be more expensive than a parent.
Smile more often, but sincerely. If you feel like smiling, smile! It will be nice for everyone around. However, this is not always appropriate: for example, smiling at the person you like accompanied by his partner is unnecessary, because you can cause a scandal between people. You also can't smile when we're talking about about something serious, they expect action from you, not coquetry. And lastly: don’t force a smile! A smile, to be kind, should leave your lips on its own, and not tense, as if you were pinched somewhere.
Always stand in the other person's position. Whatever a person does, imagine that you also committed such a rash act: would you like forgiveness, understanding and support from the outside? If so, be sure to understand and forgive the other. But never say: “I wouldn’t do that.”
“He who does good to a friend does good to himself.” “When you give, you receive.” “It’s time to give when you don’t have much.” These and a million other quotes about kindness teach us to be compassionate, generous, honest, and understanding. For real. Human.
No matter how many fairy tales are written and films made, with different endings, good still triumphs over evil. And in life too. We believe in it. Today is World Spontaneous Kindness Day, reminding us of the importance of being human. To be, not to seem. Dalai Lama XIV says that you need to do good deeds, and not just think about it. Taking action is the main thing.
Selected from different books facts about kindness. Read, think about it and, most importantly, implement good ideas. We think this is the most important thing in life.
1. Kindness changes the world
Everything we have done only for ourselves dies with us.
Everything we have done for others and the world lasts forever.
Albert Pike
Tal Ben-Shahar, a scientist studying positive psychology, and author of What You Choose, writes about what many of us are afraid to think about. The fact that many events in the world around us do not depend in any way on efforts individuals, and yet we greatly underestimate our ability to change the world for the better.
In the movie "Pay Another One" school teacher asks students to make a report on how each of them could change the world for the better. One of them, Trevor, decides to commit three good deeds, volunteer to help randomly selected people three times, and then ask them - instead of gratitude - to help someone else three times and so that instead of gratitude they ask for the same thing, and so on.
If every person who is helped by someone in turn helps three other people, then in twenty-one “steps” every person on Earth will have received help from someone. The film tells the story of how Trevor's good deeds create a positive influence that spreads like ripples on water. This influence deeply touches the lives of people whom Trevor himself has never even met.
In our "global village" social connections are strong and every action ripples through time and space. That's why it's important not to stop doing good - .
Feeling helpless in the face global problems is rooted in our belief that an individual's contribution is a drop in the ocean. But if you find a way to do something good and “infect” other people with it - even just a few - you can create significant change.
Change the world for the better. Repay others for what they have done for you and inspire them to do the same.
2. Doing good makes us happier.
Without kindness, true joy is impossible.
Thomas Carlyle
Generosity and generosity are wonderful human qualities. They are very useful for the body and mental health. The ability to share time, energy or money with people helps to increase feelings of happiness and reduces the risk of depression, stress levels and has a beneficial effect on relationships with others.
It turns out that we naturally feel happier when we are generous. When we give something to someone, our altruism activates the parts of the brain that are responsible for pleasure, communication with others, and trust.
People who are actively involved in philanthropic activities increase their self-esteem and strengthen their faith in own strength. Simply put, we are happy - .
Showing kindness activates the production of endorphins in the brain. These biological reactions create euphoric feelings of peace and happiness in a generous and generous person.
3. Being kind means being a strong person.
The great thinker of the 20th century, Stephen Covey, calls courage the father of all virtues. Courage and respect help us become complete, whole individuals. It takes a lot to develop a personality life experience, have to do it many times and in different ways walk around the built building until you notice where it has sagged and where it has sagged as a result of past mistakes, and only in this way gradually come to the integration of an internal character.
That's why for construction strong character patience is required. Men who begin small and work on themselves every day with high principles in mind are sure to spread their influence until they become models of true character and, as a result, mentors and teachers to others.
There is always time for a good deed, -
Such people become catalysts for change and Transition Persons who can break cycles negative behavior in their families, organizations or communities.
4. Kindness is an act of giving.
Generosity, whether material or spiritual, changes a person. For the most part, we tend to give, especially when it is convenient for us or socially approved. This is how man is made. If you look at it, we are constantly giving something away - time or energy. But when you spend time with your children, staring at the TV, surfing the Internet on your tablet, or constantly thinking about problems at work, this is not a real act of giving.
The most valuable gifts have nothing to do with money. They are associated with deeply personal and emotional manifestations human soul: understanding, moral support, spiritual closeness and kindness.
It is very important to give and love when you cannot demand the same in return. This is why giving is so difficult, but so important for personal growth, -
It's easy to be a giver when all you have to do is take money out of your wallet. Is it a matter of investing time and mental strength into someone or something. Giving gifts with soul is much more difficult than with money. But generosity changes everything when it comes from the depths of the soul. And this is the most important thing.
5. Kindness is the path to originality
The desire to help others helps the person himself. This is a natural consequence of being exceptional. To take the path of “otherness” from others, you need the ability to share experience. How can I purchase it? Doing good deeds again. Don't be afraid to get attached to something that will give you incentive and motivation. You can train with someone, take an art class, help animal shelters, or go on a charity mission to African countries. Over time you will understand what you have purchased new experience, you can pass it on to others and become extraordinary, not on anyone similar person- by yourself.
Kindness changes people -
