Gives a feeling of security. Crisis psychologist: How to restore a basic sense of security

Human. “The problem of a lack of a sense of security is insoluble until a person realizes that he is not grounded enough. He may believe that he is safe because he gets money, has a family and a position in society. But if he is not grounded, he will suffer from a lack of inner sense of security,” writes Alexander Lowen in “Psychology of the Body”. The internal sense of security is based on the feeling of body contact with support, with the ground. Through this feeling of the ground under your feet is built basic model human interaction with the world. According to oriental medicine, in the middle of the feet there are yongquan points, which are considered “gates” through which the body’s vital energy can be replenished and regulated by the energy of the Earth. Yongquan is the first point of the kidney channel. And the kidneys in the system Chinese medicine associated with the emotion of fear, as well as will.


When we say that a person is well grounded, or that he has his feet firmly on the ground, it means that the person is aware of himself and his surroundings. To be grounded, according to Alexander Lowen, means to be connected to the basic realities of life with the body, sexuality, people around, etc. We are connected to them to the same extent as we are to the earth.

In traditional eastern practices (qigong, aiki do, etc.), a person’s feet are compared to the roots of a tree. Through the legs, the human body feeds on the primary energy of the earth. And normally this resource is constantly available to a person. Taoist Han Xuqu said: “The feet breathe constantly and continuously, moving gently.” IN in this case"breathing" implies energy metabolism between the body and the ground. “However, for some this sensation is so weak that it does not reach consciousness, since they do not concentrate attention on their body. Lowen notes. - When we say that someone has their head in the clouds, we mean that most of a person pays attention to his thoughts or his dreams, and not to the sensations in his feet. The quality of a person's grounding reflects his inner feeling security. When a person is well grounded, he feels confident on his feet and is confident that he has the ground under his feet. This does not depend on the strength of the legs, but only on how much we feel them. ...we can be simultaneously aware of both what is in the mind and what is happening in the body. I have developed this skill and often pause during lectures to check the state of tension in my body and breathing, and to feel how my feet touch the floor. My listeners take these short pauses with pleasure, since at this time they can rest and I can concentrate. The success of my lecture is directly proportional to the degree of my contact with the body and feelings. The success of this practice depends on the presence in the body of a strong energy pulsation that unites the two poles of the body. When this connection is interrupted, the person becomes ungrounded, causing a breakdown in communication between the speaker and the listeners. I worked with my body for a long time to develop good grounding.”

You can return sensations to your feet and check your grounding level in different ways. Here is one of those that I offer to my clients: close your eyes, lower your arms freely along your body, lift (not too high) one leg and stand in this position as long as you can. The condition is not to open your eyes. Change your leg - the results and sensations may be different. In any case, you will get distinct sensations in your feet.

When working with the body, the main thing is to relate to it and the sensations in the body. Standing like this on one leg, when your eyes do not help you maintain your balance (oh, how habitual it is to cling to the external), you will be able to observe internal process self-tuning and balancing that occurs in the body to restore balance. When I work with a client, he himself experiences and puts his experiences into words (i.e., he is aware) of this process. This is the most important thing for self-regulation and development - to receive and realize own experience, and not hear how it could or should be. But, here I’ll make a reservation: you can feel how force/energy or your will surges down, rushing to your feet. The shoulder girdle naturally straightens and relaxes, and the center of gravity of the body, the center of balance, is formed in the lower abdomen. Generally, good result- standing on one leg with eyes closed more than 1 min. If you managed to hold out for about 15 seconds, . then it’s time to get serious about not only grounding, but also health.

Along the soles of our feet there are channels of six important internal organs, when you try to maintain balance on one leg, the weakened channels may even begin to hurt, but at the same time they will be trained, which in turn will have a beneficial effect on the organ to which the channel belongs and on the part of the body in which this organ manifests itself. This exercise is called "Golden Rooster Standing on One Leg" and is used in Chinese medicine specifically to strengthen the kidney channel.
According to the canons of Chinese medicine, the kidneys are responsible for: reproductive function, excretory function(urine and feces), for storing semen, for growth and development, for retaining qi energy in organs, for sexual energy, for water in the body. The kidneys store the quintessence of Jing, the state of which determines the state of the vital spirit Shen. The condition of other channels, as well as a person’s active longevity, depends on the tone of the kidney channel. Anxiety and fear weaken the kidneys. Unaccountable fear, melancholy, feelings of hopelessness are a sign of weakened kidneys.

Check the strength of your kidneys, as well as the level of general vital energy can be done as follows: find the Yongquan point on the sole - 1/3 of the distance from the point between the base of the 2nd and 3rd toes to the end of the heel.

The point is determined in a sitting or lying position with the toes bent (in the center of the formed fold). The pad of a large or index finger apply moderate pressure on the points for 3 minutes. Normally, Yongquan points are moderately sensitive (painful) when pressed and elastic (at the point of pressure, the pit disappears immediately after the massage). For preventive strengthening, it is recommended to press the points daily. Chinese doctors claim that pressing Yongquan, the first point of the kidney channel, helps relieve anxiety and fear. After a month of this simple practice, you will notice that the skin on your feet has become more elastic, a hole does not form, no matter how much you press. This means that qi has entered this area. In fact, if the Yun Quan points are activated, then we are going through the entire kidney channel. It's simple and effective way strengthen the kidneys. It is also recommended to steam your feet in the evenings. All these methods are aimed at forcing blood and qi to flow into the lower extremities and return to the source.

If a hole remains at the place of pressing, this is an indicator of kidney weakness and lack of energy in the body. In this case, it is not worth stimulating the Yongquan point. First you need to get the blood and qi to flow to your feet. For example, do the “Golden Rooster standing on one leg” exercise several times a day. When doing the exercise, focus on the Yun Quan midfoot point of the leg you are standing on. With this you will train your will. According to the Imperial Medicine Book, the will is also related to the kidney channel. If you can, distribute your attention between the yongquan points and the area 4 fingers below the navel. In Aikido, this point is called ki, concentration on which gives not only psychological, but also physical stability. Rule of Aikido Master Koichi Tohei, 10th Dan: “If you concentrate on one point in the lower abdomen, the mind automatically concentrates on the point known as the third eye (called tentei in Japan) and which is located on the forehead - between the eyes. ...If you have a fixed mind, you will have motionless body. If you fall over from a slight push, it means your mind is in motion. It is not at rest." This is how in Aikido one enters a state of unification of mind and body in living peace. This state of relaxation is sustainable, the most resourceful and strong condition.
This cognitive-body training will help you learn to concentrate and help you maintain your balance. When performing the exercise, keep your spine straight, as if you were tied to the ceiling by the top of your head with a rope. After you gain confidence in this exercise, you can return to pressing the Yun Quan point.

It happens that the points during massage are very painful. This means that blood and qi are stagnating at some other points in the kidney channel, and the stagnation is quite serious. In this case, a person can hardly perform the “Golden Rooster Standing on One Leg” exercise. You need to push through the kidney canal, find painful points - places of clamps. It is necessary to massage painful points, make the canal passable and free from congestion. After this, massage the Yun Quan points again - they will no longer be so painful. To get blood into your legs so you can do the Golden Rooster Standing on One Leg, start with a kneeling exercise:

1. Lay out a mat for yourself - this exercise must be done on a soft floor.
2. Get on your knees and fists. You can stand by the sofa, rest your elbows on it, unload your knees and transfer part of your body weight to the shoulder girdle and arms.
3. Start moving carefully. If you are at the sofa, then take small steps. If on the floor, then move slowly forward or just stand still, waddling from side to side, slightly lifting one knee. Try to choose a position so that there is no sharp pain.
4. If there is no pain in the knees or is tolerable, then you can not use your fists, straighten your back and walk on your knees.
5. It is recommended to warm your knees before exercise with camphor oil or something else, but without a burning effect.
6. Start doing this exercise with 1-2 minutes (according to your own pain), then increase to 5 minutes.
7. Do knee walking 2-3 times a day, once preferably in the morning.
By the way, walking on your knees is recommended for anyone who experiences pain in the knee joints. In this case, your diagnosis is not important: whether you have an inflammatory process or a joint injury.

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The center of the family is the woman. Despite the fact that a man should act as a leader in a relationship, and as the locomotive to which a woman is attached and which leads her through life, all relationships are best case scenario should be built around a woman’s desires, her vision of life, and the universe that she wants to create around herself.

But how can you make a woman feel harmonious in her family? Just feed her, let her sleep, and have sex with her? It’s clear that this is not the case :) A woman is structured differently than a man, and first of all she needs protection.

Do you know what secret words Will they help you make a man fall in love with you very quickly?

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But what protection? After all we're talking about not just about protection on a physical level. How can a woman feel completely protected? How to provide a woman with a reliable basis for calm and accumulation of feminine energy?

1. Physical protection

The first block of protection we will talk about is physical protection. This is satisfied simple thing, and in principle, everyone understands that a man must protect his woman from physical danger.

That is, if you and your man meet several gopniks in the gateway, then the woman should automatically step behind the man’s back, and he should continue to solve the problem. And so it is in everything. A woman must be physically protected and not fear for her life.

There are nuances here. Let’s say if someone behaved indecently or unworthily towards a woman (let’s say he pinched her in the public place). It seems like there is no particular physical danger, but how should a man behave?

Of course, a man must rush at the offender with a battle cry and a grin and tear him to shreds.

At the same time, the size and physical condition of the offender should not play any role for the man - his task is to do everything in his power to destroy the threat.

In this case, a man may find himself deeply knocked out because a world boxing champion has attempted to kill a woman. But that doesn't matter. Because when he's knocked out, his beloved woman will be next to him which will support him. And the moment a man commits inappropriate behavior towards his woman, at that same moment the woman will no longer be married.

Another nuance: a woman may not behave quite correctly in a public place. Let's say you drink too much and climb onto the table to start dancing a striptease. In this case, she may “run into” condemnation from society.

How should her man behave in this case? Even if he understands that she is wrong, he must take her side and fight for her to the end. Defend her wrong to the last drop of blood. Then the woman will again see her husband’s love and understand that she is married, regardless of her behavior. It is possible to figure out who is right and who is wrong, but only one on one, when a man can talk softly with a woman in private.

2. Emotional protection

The second type of protection that a woman needs, and which only her husband or man can provide her with, is emotional protection. What does this mean - emotional protection?

This is a man’s ability to accept all a woman’s emotions, both positive and negative, calmly, without judging, without advising anything, without adding anything of his own, and so on.

A man allows a woman to be completely open, to pour into herself everything that accumulates in her.

If a woman feels that there is a person with whom she can share everything that is going on in her soul, she begins to feel emotionally protected. Greater peace and harmony comes. The woman's mood improves.

How to find the key to a man's heart? Use secret words, which will help you conquer it.

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That is, once again, a man must, simply must, listen to his woman, listen every day, and listen carefully.

3. Financial protection

This is the third type of protection, also very important. A man is a leader and breadwinner, so his task is to ensure that the woman does not experience any financial difficulties and is fully protected in this regard.

Moreover, this not only means that the man provides for the family, but also means that the man relieves the woman of all the stress associated with this.

Let’s say it’s very stressful for a woman to pay for all sorts of housing and communal services, etc., or constantly save and save money. It’s good when a man takes on these tasks, freeing the woman from worries about them.

The same applies to various payments on loans, mortgages, and the like. A woman should know that everything is fine with them in terms of financial wealth, and this will calm her down.

4. Sexual protection

Another very important type of protection for a woman, which many men are not even aware of, is sexual protection. What does it mean to protect a woman sexually?

This means that in families and couples sexual relations should only happen when both want, and not when the man wants. The nature of a man and a woman is structured differently, and in most cases a woman needs intimate connection much less often than a man. A man wants this all the time.

And here the question is: what direction will the relationship take? Along the path of satisfying male lust at the expense of a woman, or along the path when a man observes a certain asceticism, while being in tune with the woman’s desires and her mood?

A woman who can feel protected sexually is much more liberated and feels better. After all, often women, in order to attract a man, and, as it seems to them, to bind him to themselves, diligently portray for the sake of the man how often and how much sex they need. But in fact it’s not like that.

And when this thing turns into serious relationship, then the woman gets tired of pretending and begins to refuse the man. She stops acting and pretending to be a sexual theater actress.

And the man is shocked: why did she refuse? What am I doing wrong?

He feels unloved and abandoned. And all because the woman first tried to lie - both to the man and to herself. It always ends sadly.

But the important thing is that if a man agrees with his wife’s intimate desires, and not just follows his lust, and can control himself, then when they happen, these intimate relationships, when both people want this and are in the right mood (and again, a man needs to try hard to bring a woman to such a mood!), then in this case these relationships come out as rich and vibrant as possible.

And completely incomparable in emotions and joy with ordinary and routine sex after watching the “Time” program and eating fried potatoes every day after work.

Conclusions

If a man is able to provide his woman with all these types of protection, he is already at a very high level. on the right track fortunately for his wife. And I repeat, for a woman to feel protected, she needs all four types of this protection.

You can't discard any of them. You cannot listen carefully to a woman, but at the same time you will have nothing to eat at home, and she will eat crusts of black bread.

Or you cannot fully provide for a woman financially, but at the same time not provide sexual protection - constantly demanding payment from her in the form of sex. In this case, the woman will feel disharmony and unhappiness.

The most important thing is that a man who is able to provide all types of protection for his woman will receive something that others have never dreamed of. Happy woman will reward the man with his love and affection, and the man will fly on wings.

And this vicious circle- as soon as he is filled with the energy of a woman and begins to fly on wings, he will achieve everything great success in society, and give greater protection to women. This synergy of two living beings, created for each other, will develop exponentially - higher and higher.

There are only a few secret words, upon hearing which a man will begin to fall in love.

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A sense of security (psychological safety of the individual) arises when a person consciously and, while maintaining responsibility, influences the circumstances of life in order to provide conditions for his mental balance and harmonious development.

What is security? This is a state of protection of the vital interests (needs) of the individual from internal and external threats.

According to E. Schomburg, the basic needs of life are:

  1. Safety;
  2. Self-esteem;
  3. Recognition, approval, feeling of success;
  4. Experience positive memories.

Social security is a state public relations, in which a person can independently, without interference and outside pressure, freely choose and implement his strategy of behavior, spiritual, social, economic and political development.

Psychological safety personality is the security of the psyche of each individual, his mental health, spiritual world. Violation of any of these components leads to destabilization of the internal state of mind person. The reasons for destabilization may be:

  1. Psychological trauma and disasters.
  2. A sharp change in values ​​and moral principles as a result of certain circumstances.

These situations can lead to:

  1. Loss of active life position.
  • Reluctance to self-regulation, adaptation in a social environment, self-knowledge.
  • In this case, a person seeks to ensure a state of security with special “ defense mechanisms”: subconscious, conscious and supraconscious psychological defenses(more about defense mechanisms. These mechanisms are designed to “numb” negative emotions, primarily fear, but at the same time they are capable of veiling or distorting reality. In this case, the feeling of fear is replaced by a feeling of inexplicable anxiety.

    Feelings that enslave us and make us passive are unacceptable: constraining sadness, despair, fear, anger, superstition. The joy of the thirst for freedom, forcing us to become stronger and more perfect through the satisfaction of our desires, gives us the confidence that even being chained, we will be free and powerful if we do not stop thinking. Benedict Spinoza.

    Conscious and responsible influence on the circumstances of one’s life in order to provide conditions for one’s peace of mind and development assumes that a person is ready for any external changes, including the fact that changes may turn out to be unforeseen, and a combination of circumstances may be unfavorable. He sees cause and effect and is aware of his participation in the current situation (high level subjective control), understands his thoughts and feelings, is aware of his attitude to certain events. Social security assumes that a person has no fears about the people around him, no impressions that there are any threats from them, and no assumptions that such threats may appear in the future. A person is open to contacts, he trusts people and expects the same from them.


    The state of security and peace of mind for the future is largely ensured by the disclosure and realization of one’s capabilities. Creative activity begins with what has meaning for the creator himself, and only later does the product of creativity acquire meaning for other people. Such success practically provides a person with a feeling self-esteem and self-confidence. According to some experts, highest level human development begins when creative activity refers to the person himself - the personality creates itself. A self-made man is a person who has made himself in the deepest sense of the word; he is an autonomous, well-organized, self-regulating personality. Psychological safety of a person who owns his inner world, in this case it is considered absolute.

    The feeling and state of security is achieved in two ways - the above is the “path in spite of”, i.e. becoming a Self-made man despite weaknesses, obstacles, difficulties, victory over oneself.

    The second path - no less, and maybe more effective - is the “path in the name.” It gives not just a feeling of security, but also a state inner harmony, the right to be yourself, to follow your own path in life

    You are already familiar with its components. Firstly, it is trust in yourself, in your thoughts, feelings and actions, complete acceptance of yourself. And as a result, trust in the world.

    Unconditional acceptance and self-love give you a sense of security, freedom for self-expression, feeling, and activity that you consider appropriate for yourself and appropriate in a given situation.

    Self-trust, self-acceptance, self-love brings the understanding that you are always responsible for your actions, while no one should be responsible for you, and you do not have to be responsible for the behavior, thoughts and feelings of other people.

    Having independent choice conscious attitude to one’s actions, behavior in the name of success and happiness, and not because of avoiding a threat (psychological or physical) - all this gives a feeling of safety and security.

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    Secrets about women that every man should know de Angelis Barbara

    Chapter 4 Women want to feel safe

    Why do women need so much more support and encouragement in their personal relationships than men?

    Why do women always try to make future plans with their partner?

    Why do women constantly want to know what their partner is feeling and thinking?

    Why do women get so worried and anxious when a man does not share with them what worries and worries him?

    The answer to all these questions is very simple. Because one of the basic needs of every woman is the desire to feel safe. I'm not talking about physical safety, for us it is much more important emotional security. We want to be confident in the strength of our relationship and in the seriousness of our partner’s intentions. We want to trust our own love so that we can open up to give and receive love.

    Emotional security is the key to any woman’s heart. When we feel safe, we are willing to take risks. When we feel safe, we can relax. When we feel safe, we begin to glow with happiness.

    Why is the need for security so important for women? It seems to me that this happens because deep down every woman does not feel confident. Perhaps my words will seem incorrect to you, but nevertheless it is so. No matter how independent, confident, self-sufficient and free we consider ourselves, deep down we remain exactly the same as our great-grandmothers. We struggle with this side of our nature, we try to suppress it, we are ashamed of it, we criticize ourselves for this weakness, but we cannot completely get rid of it.

    Where does this feeling come from? internal uncertainty? Firstly, this is a result of the fact that we live in men's world. Our society only a few decades ago began to value and respect women and offer us what men have received since the beginning of time. Even today, in many parts of our planet, the life of a man is valued much more highly than the life of a woman. Girls are killed so that they do not become a burden to the family, which needs sons and heirs. We hear about this and say, “Well, this happens in undeveloped countries!” And yet, even in the most highly developed countries, such as the United States, women earn less than men for the same job. Of course, things don’t go to such extremes as killing girls, but the meaning of what’s happening is exactly the same - the life and work of a man are valued much higher than the work and life of a woman.

    We learn this lesson from the moment we are born. Even now, in most families, children receive their father's surname rather than their mother's. Most of us never think about the significance of this event in our lives, but even this shows disdain for women. And when we feel unappreciated, we unconsciously begin to feel insecure.

    Even on a physical level, a woman constantly feels vulnerable and unprotected. Hence the subconscious desire for security. A man can penetrate our body. We can be raped and penetrated against our will. Most women are physically unable to resist men. Even if we don't think about it, the realities of our world constantly influence our psyche. Women unconsciously feel their physical and mental vulnerability in the modern world.

    But to truly understand why women feel insecure, we need to go back to the dawn of civilization and pay a visit to our ancestors. These women were completely dependent on men. The men were hunters, they provided the tribe with food. They were warriors with skills that allowed them to withstand enemies and predators. Only men could protect children from death. And the woman still had sole purpose: She needed to find a man who could take care of her and the children that would be born as soon as she became fertile.

    Naturally, in such an environment, a woman could not survive without a man. Imagine that a man dissatisfied with a woman could throw her and her children out of a cave or house, and then they would freeze from the cold or be torn to pieces wild animals. Could a woman feel safe for even a minute?

    And although humanity has undergone significant changes over several thousand years, women have remained physically, financially and socially dependent on men. We couldn't feed ourselves. We did not have the opportunities that free men had. Our inner strength was limited. Remember, it was only in the last century that women got the opportunity to work, and therefore, if they wanted, they could gain at least some independence from men. And with the invention of contraceptives, people were able to decide for themselves whether to have children or not.

    And this historical heritage affects all women. It doesn’t matter whether you are eighteen or eighty, whether you consider yourself independent or subservient to a man, all women have the same heritage. I believe that it is in all of us genetic memory about the harsh past. Inner voice barely audibly whispers to us: “You cannot live without a man,” “You will die if he leaves,” “You will not achieve this or that - all this is only for men,” “Look for someone who will take care of you, because you’ll never be able to do it on your own.” And behind all this “good” advice lies only one thing: "A woman never feels safe."

    If you are a man, don't think I'm complaining or cursing men. I just wanted to explain why women never feel safe and need your support and encouragement. Most men do not perceive women from this point of view, because they have a completely different past behind them and they live in this world completely differently. You might be thinking: “But I’m not a rabid sexist who just climbed out of a tree! I don't need my future wife bore my last name. I love her and don’t want to limit her freedom.” To this I can only say one thing: your future wife is lucky! But to fully understand her, you must know her psychology, which has its roots in the deep past, inherited from many generations of women who were less fortunate than her.

    Why do women need men's approval so much? Why don't we feel safe not receiving it?

    Have you ever wondered why you are so desperate to gain the approval of a man, sometimes a man whom you have absolutely no respect for? The answer is very simple. Historically, women have learned that they are entirely dependent on men for their survival. Therefore, our “job” is to attract a man and keep his interest so as not to lose him. How we look, how good we are in bed, how we express ourselves, how we maintain order in the house, how we monitor the manifestation own feelings so that he does not feel uncomfortable - all these habits, decisions and behavior are based on the same thought: “Is he happy with us?” Our subconscious tells us that if a man is happy, he will stay with us, and if he stays, we will be safe.

    This is why women often look to men for approval of their actions and feelings. “Is he okay with me?– we ask ourselves. – Have I tired him with my emotions? And when we feel that we are doing everything right, we breathe a sigh of relief, allow ourselves to relax and finally feel safe. But, receiving signals that a man is unhappy with us, our sense of security decreases to a critical level.

    I know from myself and from the experience of thousands of women who have turned to me for help that seeking a man’s approval is an unconscious process. This is a primal reaction that occurs at the very beginning of a personal relationship. And this reaction sometimes surprises us with its intensity. “Why do I care so much what he thinks?– we ask ourselves. – Why don't I feel safe when we fight? The answer is very simple. Male approval or disapproval triggers the innate survival instinct in the female subconscious, causing a feeling of danger and uncertainty.

    Let's look at a typical scenario to illustrate what I'm saying. Katie and Juan have been living together for two years. They recently decided to get married. One Sunday morning, Katie sensed that Juan was angry with her, but when she asked him what was wrong, he just brushed it off, saying that everything was fine. Katie tried several times to talk to Juan about his concerns, saying his behavior made her very sad. Juan remained silent and grew increasingly gloomy. Eventually, Katie burst into tears and asked Juan if he had changed his mind about marrying her. Juan lost his temper and said:

    “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I have nothing to do with your problems.”

    And he went into another room to watch TV.

    How did Katie feel? She was worried, worried, and felt out of place. “Something is wrong!” - her instincts screamed. Juan's displeasure triggered a survival mechanism. She sensed something was wrong, and an alarming inscription flashed in her brain: “DANGER! DANGER!" All this happens absolutely automatically, she is not even aware of her own actions.

    How did Juan feel in the same situation? He was worried, irritated and angry. He couldn't understand why Katie was so worried today, why she was dramatizing the situation. In his opinion, nothing happened, he just had a headache and wanted to watch TV alone.

    Who is responsible for the tense situation? Both. Katie had to better control her survival instinct, which came into play due to the fact that she no longer felt safe. She needs to learn to manage her reactions. And Juan needs to learn to understand what his actions and behavior are causing Katie’s anxiety. In this case, he did not tell her what was happening to him, causing her to draw incorrect conclusions. By learning to better understand a woman's need to feel safe, Juan will immediately feel that his personal life I became calmer and happier.

    I remember the first time I gave a lecture on this topic to a mixed audience, in which both men and women were present. The women nodded in agreement, and many had tears in their eyes. They finally understood what hurt so much inside them and what they could not understand. What about men? They listened to me with respect, trying to understand, their eyebrows frowned, their eyes squinted. It was not easy for them to accept a completely alien point of view.

    After the seminar, a man approached me holding his wife’s hand. His words absolutely accurately reflected the feelings of all the men present at the lecture. He said: “I’ve never seen women that way. Your words are quite reasonable, but it turns out that There is an invisible side to the woman I love that I didn’t even know about. I always considered myself a sensitive person, but I didn’t even suspect...”

    Indeed, this man was a sensitive person. But even the most sensitive man in the world will not be able to understand the craving for security that lives in every woman. They haven't been programmed for this for millennia! The man didn't finish. His wife hugged him and kissed him on both cheeks. Her kiss told him everything. For the first time, her husband realized that there was an invisible side to her, an invisible part of her nature that even she herself could not explain to him. And what was the result? The realization that he was ready to understand her created in this woman the feeling of security that we just talked about.

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    This feeling is unusual for me, because I don’t know how to stay in a calm state for a long time, I often experience unreasonable fear and the feeling that I will have to pay for my safety later. I subconsciously move away from this feeling. In my opinion, a sense of security is greatly enhanced by being surrounded by people close to me, when I receive support and help from them in difficult situations. But it is often difficult for me to share my difficulties with someone and ask for help. And it’s easier for me to isolate myself from others and solve problems alone than to trust someone and feel a sense of security. I would really like not to run away from this feeling and not replace it with anything else, but to learn to live it without fear.

    A feeling of security comes when I feel at ease and comfortable, when there is no fear or anxiety.

    In my opinion, this is one of the basic human needs, like sleep and food, and naturally I want to feel safe. But sometimes, my illness does not allow me to feel safe, since I am used to such feelings as anxiety and fear. I rarely manage to track my security and this is something I would like to learn.
    Feeling safe, I arrive at good mood. But it seems to me that this feeling can dull my vigilance. I want to somehow learn to control it so that it doesn’t completely turn my head and take me into the wrong steppe. I do not hide or suppress the feeling of security, but on the contrary, I rejoice in it and share it with my loved ones.



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