Post rules of etiquette and good manners. Behaviors in human life

To talk about a person’s culture of behavior means to talk about his manners. This word denotes some stable signs that have become habitual in relation to others and even simply constantly repeating movements that find their expression in how to sit down, stand up, walk, talk, etc.

The history of culture knows many documents that contained different rules behavior. These include “Letters to a Son” by the English Lord Chesterfield, written in the 18th century. Along with the naive and funny, they also contain something instructive for people living in our time. “Although... the question of how to behave in society may seem like a mere trifle, it always has important when your goal is to please someone privacy. And I have known many people who, by their clumsiness, immediately inspired such disgust in people that all their virtues were then powerless before them. Good manners win people over, attract them to you, and make them want to love you.”

How often in those days, in many countries, knowledge of the rules of etiquette and the ability to practically apply them played a noticeable role in fate socialite. It happened that the doors of influential houses were closed in front of him only because, while at a dinner party, he showed his awkwardness and inability to handle cutlery.

Speaking about manners, we should not forget about their social and national character.

Paintings and applied arts, fiction and films are a wealth of material that, reflecting various details of people’s lives, also shows their different manners precisely in this regard, social and national.

We remember Pushkin’s Onegin, a representative of the noble class, who had “the happy talent to touch on everything lightly in conversation without compulsion, with scientific-looking an expert in maintaining silence in an important dispute and arousing the smiles of ladies with the fire of unexpected epigrams.” He “danced the mazurka easily and bowed at ease.” “And the world decided that he was smart and very nice.”

We remember the magnificent Kustodiev merchant's wife who drinks tea from a saucer...

We read about the Japanese and their manner of bowing many times a day to acquaintances and even strangers, depending on different situations.

We know about the British way of holding back their feelings and the Italian way of throwing them out.

And yet it is possible for people of all nations to talk about manners, which can be good or bad.

There are people who are almost opponents of the rules of good manners and good manners. They say: “The rules of good manners are just a form that says nothing about the content of a person. There are people who are morally corrupt, empty, masking their mean inner bourgeois with good manners. And therefore, in order not to be mistaken about a person, so as not to mistake the external, feigned for his true essence, it is better to completely discard all these rules. Let every person behave the way he wants, then it will be immediately clear who is good and who is bad.”

Of course, the main thing is - inner essence a person, but no less important are his manners of behavior.

When a person rudely shouts at his subordinates and constantly interrupts his interlocutor, then what is it? Bad person, an egoist and a self-lover who considers only own opinion and your own amenities? Or is this a person who is not bad at all, but who does not know how to behave, an ill-mannered person? And if a young guy smokes right in a girl’s face, stands lounging in front of her, holding his hands in his pockets, leans his elbows on her shoulder, and instead of a polite invitation to dance, casually says “let’s go,” - what is this? Bad manners or any lack of respect for women?

I think it's both. But many rules of good manners were not written down artificially, were not made up. Throughout human history, they have arisen as necessary requirements life itself. Their appearance was dictated by various considerations of goodwill, concern for others, and respect for them. And many of the good manners that exist today have come to us from time immemorial...

Some of them are based on sanitary and hygienic requirements. For example, the custom of wiping your feet clean when entering a room or even taking off your shoes, as is customary among the Japanese, covering your mouth with a swimming trunk when sneezing and coughing, not sitting at the table unkempt, with dirty hands, etc.

There are manners that are dictated by considerations of convenience and expediency. This explains the rule about how to go up and down stairs. So, when going up the stairs, a man usually walks behind a woman one or two steps, so that right moment, in case she stumbles, he could support her.

When going down the stairs, for the same reason, a man walks one or two steps ahead of a woman.

A number of other manners are based on aesthetic considerations. Thus, it is not recommended to talk loudly and gesticulate excessively, or appear anywhere in an unkempt manner. And even by the way someone stands, sits, holds their arms and legs, one can even judge their respect or disdain for others.

And the most beautiful face, the most impeccable body proportions or beautiful clothes will not leave the right impression if they do not correspond to the demeanor.

A well-mannered person not only takes care of his appearance, but also develops his gait and posture.

One of the most serious and severe critics of his time, Belinsky attached great importance education of beautiful manners and condemned even those people who “can neither enter, nor stand, nor sit in decent society.”

And the great teacher Makarenko made a lot of efforts to cultivate in his communards even the ability to “walk, stand, talk.” At first glance, the expression “be able to walk, stand, talk” may seem simply strange when applied to an adult. But will each of us really dare to cross the middle in front of others, and by the way, not only because he is too embarrassed and shy, but also because of the lack the required culture a body that does not obey him, he does not know how to control it, does not know where to put his hands when walking, how to hold his head, move his legs in order to feel at ease and free. And in order to develop such a gait, you need to remember some tips. First of all, your step should be commensurate with your height: It looks ridiculous and funny A tall man, a man or woman shuffling his feet, just like a short person taking excessively long strides. Not pleasant impression produced by a person swaying while walking or swaying their hips. It’s not nice to walk around slouching with your hands in your pockets. And, on the contrary, it is pleasant to look at a person with a straight and free gait, the main quality of which would be naturalness. But if we are talking about a straight gait, then it, of course, has nothing in common with the one about which they say that its owner “swallowed an arshin.”

Each of us wants to be attractive and charming, to feel comfortable and “at ease” in any society and in any situation. It's not just about appearance, fashionable clothes and grooming. You must be able to behave, know the rules of good manners that give cultured person from afar and in any society.

Rules of good manners: what are they and why are they needed?

Indeed, manners can be good, noble, worthy and, on the contrary, vulgar, vulgar and even stupid. You can give many more definitions, but I think you understand the meaning. A person is judged by his behavior and manners, as well as by his clothes. By the way, the latter can say much more about a person than the company that sewed your dress and designed your handbag.

Good manners are a consequence of education and self-improvement. Not all of them, unfortunately, with early childhood They are vaccinated in the family and at school. But at any age you can start working on yourself, developing a style of behavior worthy of a self-confident, intelligent and well-mannered girl.

For what/who are they needed? good manners? First of all, you need them yourself. So that you won’t be ashamed not only to eat a hamburger at McDonald’s, but also to go to the theater, to a luxurious restaurant in an unfamiliar company, or to a social event, where paparazzi with cameras are scurrying around and “hot shots” are waiting. Thanks to decent manners, you can get a higher-paid, prestigious position (like the dress code, in serious companies there are recommendations and prohibitions on “wrong” behavior), win a respectable, respected man, and make useful and successful acquaintances in different circles.

Rules of "bad" manners

Behavioral mistakes that are very common among women, regardless of their age, profession, nationality and personal interests, include:

  • The desire to attract the attention of others (usually citizens of the opposite sex) in every possible and impossible way. This includes loud laughter, laughter with teeth showing, squealing, speaking in a raised voice, butting into other people’s conversations, unsolicited advice and comments, and banter.
  • Excessive mannerism, deliberate effeminacy and refinement. Sticking out your little finger at the table, rolling your eyes for no reason, languid sighs, wagging body parts, gestures and facial expressions invented “for raisins” - all sorts of excesses, in a word.
  • On the contrary, ostentatious indifference, indifference, “mega-experience”. Often young girls, who in principle can know little else and have seen little in life, so as not to seem like simpletons and easily impressed people, do their best to pretend that “everyone already knows” and “nothing will surprise them.” They purse their lips, look from under their brows and arrogantly. This is not necessary! All this and something else has nothing to do with the rules of good manners!
  • Imitation (explicit, exaggerated) of one of the famous secular, “glamorous” characters. Copying intonation, phrases, accent, gait, etc. Be yourself, you deserve it!

  • Naturalness!

Simplicity and naturalness! But - in moderation. Not the kind of simplicity that is “worse than theft,” you understand. Just be yourself and respect yourself. Then you won’t have to hide your complexes by giggling loudly at the movies or walking around in a daze from your inability to start a conversation with the guy you like. If something surprises you, be surprised! If it makes you happy, smile! For yourself, not for others. People around will immediately notice a sweet girl with a bright and clean face, open to the world and emotions.

  • Restraint

Pay attention to how members of the British royal family, For example. They are always calm, friendly and benevolent. They smile with their eyes, rather than baring their teeth. In this regard, our pop stars, unfortunately, are not an example. Let's try to act like Kate Middleton! Friends will immediately notice and appreciate the change for the better.

  • Politeness

Always and towards everyone. Not only to the dean at the institute or the boss at work. But also to colleagues, classmates, neighbors, janitors, the crowd waiting for a train in the subway. Do you know what Renata Litvinova (who is undoubtedly an example of excellent manners) says? A truly beautiful and intelligent person never shows off these qualities. He is unfailingly polite and willing to help. He values ​​himself and, as a result, those around him. And one of the “signs of a real Parisian” is that he says “bonjour” to everyone he meets (that is, he says hello). I hope you convinced me?

  • Curiosity

If you don't know something, never hesitate to ask! What kind of equipment to take to an oyster restaurant, how to put on the most fashionable exotic hat, how to get to the library... It’s not a shame or a sin not to know something. A person is given his whole life for self-development and learning.

This is only the basis of social etiquette, a basis that every self-respecting girl should know. Having studied, understood and accepted the rules of good manners, you will do own life more colorful, beautiful and worthy of respect!

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Introduction

One of the basic principles modern life is to maintain normal relationships between people and the desire to avoid conflicts. In turn, respect and attention can only be earned by maintaining politeness and restraint. Therefore, nothing is valued as dearly by the people around us as politeness and delicacy. But in life we ​​often have to deal with rudeness, harshness, and disrespect for the personality of another person. The reason here is that we underestimate the culture of human behavior, his manners.

Manners are a way of holding oneself, the external form of behavior, treatment of other people, expressions used in speech, tone, intonation, gait, gestures and even facial expressions characteristic of a person.

In society, good manners are considered to be a person’s modesty and restraint, the ability to control one’s actions, and to communicate carefully and tactfully with other people. Bad manners It is customary to consider habits of speaking loudly, without hesitation in expressions, swagger in gestures and behavior, sloppiness in clothing, rudeness, manifested in outright hostility towards others, in disregard for other people’s interests and requests, in shamelessly imposing one’s will and desires on other people, in inability restrain your irritation, in deliberately insulting the dignity of people around you, in tactlessness, foul language, and the use of humiliating nicknames.

Good manners as the basis of etiquette

Good manners - the basics of behavior well-mannered person in society. The way of dealing with other people, the expressions used in speech, tone, intonation, gait, gestures and facial expressions are all called manners. Modesty and restraint, the ability to control one’s actions, to communicate carefully and tactfully with other people—it is on these qualities that good manners are based. There are a few basic rules of etiquette that you should adhere to.

Good manners also mean that we know and understand other people, so we calmly accept their behavior and thus avoid irritation and bad attitude towards them, thereby causing a positive reaction on their part. Manners are the ability to get your way by doing something nice for others. Manners are defined as treating people in a polite, courteous manner.

By assessing your principles, habits and instincts, identifying which of them are positive and which are negative, you can get an idea of generally accepted standards, about their interpretation and perception.

Bad manners are considered to be the habit of speaking loudly, without hesitation in expressions, swagger in gestures and behavior, sloppiness in clothing, rudeness, outright hostility towards others, disregard for other people's interests and needs, shameless imposition of one's will and desires on other people. Also - the inability to restrain one’s irritation, deliberate insult to the dignity of people around him, tactlessness and foul language.

Manners relate to the culture of human behavior and are regulated by etiquette. Etiquette implies benevolent and respectful attitude to all people, regardless of their position and social status. It includes polite treatment of a woman, respectful attitude towards elders, forms of address and greeting, rules of conversation and behavior at the table. In general, etiquette in a civilized society coincides with general requirements politeness, which are based on the principles of humanism.

A prerequisite for communication is delicacy, which should not be excessive. Do not mistake flattery and unjustified praise of what you see or hear for this quality. There is no need to try hard to hide the fact that you are seeing, listening to, tasting something for the first time, for fear of seeming ignorant. Any pretense is repulsive.

Ability to behave correctly in different situations can protect you from an unfriendly attitude, which is certainly important for any person, and especially if we're talking about about him business relations. The exchange of formal pleasantries (unless it is outright fawning) is actually not such a banal thing as it seems at first glance. By showing the proper tact, you win over your interlocutor and leave a pleasant impression - that’s the whole axiom.

The idea of ​​excessive complexity of etiquette rules and the desire to simplify relationships is very controversial. Stopping showing each other signs of respect does not mean taking life easier.

Courtesy

When it comes to social events, you should: answer as quickly as possible whether you will come or not; a promise should not be broken except for a very serious reason; and immediately inform the organizer of anything that has anything to do with your participation in the event.

This approach is universal. Of course, a formal breakfast is more important than a party in a pub, but the essence is the same. Call if you are running late or cannot make it at all, even if it is an informal meeting. It may surprise you, but people sometimes worry about you. For example, did you have an accident if you didn't show up for a meeting? Nowadays, with the widespread use of answering machines, you can cowardly call people when you expect them to be absent and leave your apologies on the answering machine.

How to introduce people

There are formal rules about how people should be introduced. There are situations where you certainly must do this with utmost care. In more in general terms, in the usual everyday situation or at work, if there is any doubt that someone doesn't know someone, you should introduce people to each other in the simplest possible way. Of course, you can say more if you want. You can also immediately continue on your way, but you still have to introduce everyone. It is considered very bad form to force your friends to listen to your conversation with someone else without even introducing them to each other.

All this is even more important when it comes to social events. Many people who are otherwise polite and reasonable do a poor job of this task. They believe that introducing people to each other is not their business. Either they are too shy, or they assume that everyone already knows each other; or consider it too formal and tedious to introduce everyone by name. However, presentation is so important to the flow of conversation that it doesn't matter who does it. You may introduce your brother and sister to each other by mistake, but remember: it is better to introduce people you already know to each other than not to introduce them at all. Don't assume that everyone already knows each other. This is another example of underestimation self-importance: on any public event. You may know virtually no one, but others may know even fewer there. Then you can become a link between the two groups, and it is your responsibility to introduce them.

How to thank communication etiquette demeanor

What could be more important than this? When I tell people I'm writing a book on etiquette, this is the topic they care about most, and they insist that I cover it. They get hurt by how much other people don't bother to say "Thank you." This feeling is so universal - then who are the people who don’t bother to say thank you? Perhaps people in to a greater extent They expect words of gratitude from others and react sharply to their absence or insufficiency, while they themselves generally forget to say “Thank you.”

In this area there is huge number options, and you have to reckon with local traditions. However, in general, you should thank people appropriately for almost everything: an invitation (even if you decline it), a gift, a weekend spent visiting someone. You express gratitude immediately, and if the service or gift is very significant, you thank again later - in a letter, or by phone, or in person. (If you are thanking a family or group of people, it is best to do so in writing, since you may not be able to reach everyone by phone.) In some cases, you may want to give a small symbolic gift. You should never say, “Oh, they probably know how grateful I am to them, so there’s no need to talk about it,” or, “So many people gave me wedding gifts, so I don’t think they expect me to thank each of them in writing.” " Both are completely wrong! I want to emphasize again: you will never make a mistake or offend anyone by expressing gratitude, but you will be wrong if you neglect this simple show of politeness.

Personal habits

There is a general consensus that certain manners and habits are inappropriate. This point of view of people should be taken into account, even if you yourself do not share it. The rules include the following:

Always cover your mouth with your hand when you cough or yawn.

Use a tissue when you sneeze, or cover your nose with your hand if you don't have time to do otherwise. Don't pick your nose or sniffle.

Don't itch or pick anything out from under your nails - such actions create a repulsive impression.

The main idea: you should not do anything that is unpleasant to the people who are forced to watch it.

A little embarrassment

Sometimes it happens that we unwittingly offend someone. No one is immune from mistakes, from accidental tactlessness in conversation or gesture. As a rule, all you need to do is apologize sincerely and the incident will be over. If you have a sense of humor, then perhaps the best way an apology will be an acknowledgment of one’s mistake in a cheerful manner, laughing at oneself. In any case, the moment of tension that has arisen cannot be left unresolved - it will be unpleasant for both you and your interlocutor.

When a person sneezes, you should tell him “be healthy!” even regardless of whether you know him or not.

Many people always dress their own way and don't worry about it. For example, they wear jeans with a shirt everywhere - both to work and to a wedding. Others don't leave the bedroom without makeup and high heels. Such people probably have no problem deciding on clothing. The rest of us (this is especially true for women, since men tend to have fewer styles and clothing options and thus are less likely to make mistakes) have to think about this problem. In this case, you need to either follow the rules or think carefully yourself.

If we are talking about a completely official event, then perhaps the invitation will give some recommendations on this matter, or you can call the organizers and ask - this will be a completely normal and reasonable step. If the event is less formal, it is best to ask the hostess or another guest. When it comes to visiting some fashionable place, it would be correct to ask the owner (or a friend, if he invited you to stay at his parents’ house): “Are we going to change for dinner?” An elegant dress will help a woman in almost any situation. This is more difficult for men, since in some cases a tuxedo will be required for dinner. Usually you will be warned about this in advance, but there is nothing wrong if you ask about it yourself.

If you still can’t figure out how to dress correctly for an event, ask yourself: “What clothes seem to suit me?” in this case most appropriate? Some people don't like it when they wear too little, others don't recognize formal style, still others - categorically do not want to dress like others... Think carefully about everything and choose your outfit; It may not be perfect, but at least you won't feel uncomfortable.

Good manners are profitable

Effective activity is unthinkable without modern standards business communication.

The ability to behave correctly has always been of enormous importance in a professional environment. This is especially important in the context of company development. When compliance with business etiquette becomes a kind of indicator of reliability and an indispensable condition for business success.

By following behavioral norms and rules, we create an atmosphere interpersonal communications, which allows you to achieve maximum efficiency of employees and, as a result, influence labor productivity. Ultimately, maintaining business etiquette proves to be cost-effective for the company. Businessmen all over the world know this postulate: good manners are profitable.

The importance of little things in business etiquette

Psychologists have conducted research and observations that suggest that the so-called “body language” is an unconscious expression of what a person really thinks and feels. There are many different gestures that can mean something, that can be a message or part of a message, that may or may not be the same as words.

"25 nonverbal communication gestures":

1. The interlocutor drums his fingers. This may mean that he is impatient or nervous.

2. The interlocutor shrugs his shoulders. He is not interested in what you say or doesn't care.

3. Clenched hands mean despair, a feeling of hopelessness.

4. Clenched fists are evidence of aggressiveness. Trying to control your anger.

5. Relaxed hands, turned in front of you with palms up, mean difficulty, surprise, puzzlement.

6. If the interlocutor unbuttons his jacket, it means that he is preparing for active actions.

7. Hands crossed on the chest mean challenge or condemnation.

8. If man walking quickly, hands free, chin raised, therefore, he demonstrates self-confidence and determination.

9. If a person walks, dragging his feet, hands in his pockets, head down, it means he has lost heart, is in despair, depressed, depressed.

10. The palm of the hand, placed on the cheek or propped up with a fist, means interest on the verge of surprise.

11. If the interlocutor hits himself on the chin, then some kind of guess dawned on him, he is preoccupied.

12. If a person touches or rubs his nose, it means he is reflecting, thinking about something.

13. Hands on hips pose - a demonstration of superiority or a challenge.

14. If the palms are folded, this may mean that the interlocutor is thinking.

15. If the interlocutor tilts his head to the side, it means he is being ironic or prone to ridicule.

16. Glasses lowered to the tip of the nose and looking over the frame - a demand for more, especially facts.

17. If a person is pacing back and forth, then he is apparently preoccupied or nervous.

18. Squeezing and rubbing the bridge of the nose is a sign of fatigue.

19. If a person sits on the edge of a chair, it means he is waiting and showing interest.

20. If a person sits cross-legged, slightly swinging his leg, he is most likely bored.

21. Characteristic gesture index finger- desire to emphasize your point of view.

22. If a person demonstratively stretches his crossed legs forward, and even more so, puts them on a nearby chair or somewhere else, it means that the person wants to impress others with his bad manners.

23. If a person leans back and supports his head with crossed hands, it means that he is trying to relax and also make an impression.

24. If during a conversation the interlocutor covers his mouth with his hands, then he does not want to be understood.

25. If a person puts his hand behind his back and clenches it into a fist, and the other holds his wrist, then he is closed and tense.

When acting, you must always remember the basis interpersonal relationships- about the correctness of the action and the positive response. A confident and authoritative appearance promotes confident and authoritative actions, and therefore the corresponding perception of the partner. Thus, appearance and behavior are used to achieve goals. Actions not only add details to the appearance, but also confirm or refute the first impression. An equally important and significant addition to the image is speech.

Conclusion

Business ethics and etiquette, the culture of business relations are of great importance for the success of all endeavors in the business sphere: be it management, business, politics, education or art. How to optimize communication in all spheres of human life, how to make business noble and success achievable and permanent, how to climb the career ladder in the most honest and effective way, how to succeed in any business field without high culture communication, without basic knowledge, but so important norms and rules of etiquette.

Good behavior is the basis on which good relationships with others can be successfully built.

Bibliography

1. Psychology and ethics of business communication: Textbook for universities / Ed. prof. V.N. Lavrinenko. - 4th ed., revised. and additional - M.: UNITY-DANA, 2005.

2. Tebekin A.V., Kasaev B.S.. Organization management. M. - 260 s. , 2008

3. Uzerina M. S. Ethics of business communication UlSTU, 2004

4. M.G. Podoprigora Business Ethics Tutorial. Taganrog: Publishing House TTI SFU, 2012.

5. Semenov A.K., E.L. Maslova Psychology and ethics of management and business. - M., 1999.

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Good manners

Good manners - One of the basic principles of modern life is maintaining normal relationships between people and the desire to avoid conflicts. In turn, respect and attention can only be earned by maintaining politeness and restraint. Manners are a way of holding oneself, the external form of behavior, treatment of other people, expressions used in speech, tone, intonation, characteristic gait, gestures and even facial expressions.

Therefore, nothing is valued as dearly by the people around us as politeness and delicacy. But in life we ​​often have to deal with rudeness, harshness, and disrespect for the personality of another person. The reason here is that we underestimate the culture of human behavior, his manners.

Manners are a way of holding oneself, the external form of behavior, treatment of other people, expressions used in speech, tone, intonation, characteristic gait, gestures and even facial expressions.

In society, good manners are considered to be a person’s modesty and restraint, the ability to control one’s actions, and to communicate carefully and tactfully with other people. Bad manners are considered to be the habit of speaking loudly, without hesitation in expressions, swagger in gestures and behavior, sloppiness in clothing, rudeness, manifested in open hostility towards others, in disregard for other people's interests and requests, in the shameless imposition of one's will and desires on other people, in the inability to restrain one’s irritation, in deliberately insulting the dignity of people around him, in tactlessness, foul language, and the use of humiliating nicknames and nicknames.

Manners relate to the culture of human behavior and are regulated by etiquette. Etiquette implies a benevolent and respectful attitude towards all people, regardless of their position and social status. It includes polite treatment of a woman, respectful attitude towards elders, forms of addressing elders, forms of address and greeting, rules of conversation, behavior at the table. In general, etiquette in a civilized society coincides with the general requirements of politeness, which are based on the principles of humanism.

A prerequisite for communication is delicacy. Delicacy should not be excessive, turn into flattery, or lead to unjustified praise of what is seen or heard. There is no need to try hard to hide the fact that you are seeing, listening to, tasting something for the first time, fearing that otherwise you will be considered ignorant.

At the table it is considered impolite to talk about the cost of dishes, whisper in a neighbor’s ear, and much more. Dishes, silver, crystal, porcelain. The business card is widely used in business relations and protocol diplomatic practice. It is just as foolish to despise fashion as it is to follow it too zealously. Business letter should be short, precise and to the point. Demeanor is the same way to show respect for the people around you, like neat clothing, polite behavior in conversation, and tact. Some table manners. First courses can be served either in a deep plate or in a special broth cup. A suit is the business card of a business person. “You are accepted by your clothes,” clothes are the main condition for how good a person’s opinion is of you. Passengers who are familiar with the norms of etiquette do not have drinking bouts in the compartment, do not make cosmetic masks, and do not clean their nails. Leading Rule behavior in the theater - maintaining silence. You can recognize a well-mannered person on the street by his measured gait and ability to behave modestly but with dignity. Wines are served either chilled, warmed or simply cold. Champagne is served chilled, Bourgogne or Lafite is served warm. The rest of the wines are served simply cold. Don't stand out with your clothes during working hours. The tone of the conversation should be smooth and natural, but not pedantic or playful. Each nation has its own rules of meetings and partings. Rules for talking on the phone. You can't insult a woman. When setting the table, you should keep in mind that it is not customary to put more than three forks or three knives (each type of dish must have its own utensil) since all the utensils will not be used at the same time anyway. The letter itself begins with an exact repetition in the left top corner address written on the envelope. Making a phone call is not so simple: even if the interlocutor does not see you and cannot evaluate your appearance and manner of behavior, the more he will pay attention to your voice, to the slightest intonation. Faxes are gradually fading into oblivion, but in some places they still continue to be used. The meaning of colors, their combination with each other. The foundations of economic ethics were laid by Aristotle. Usually, before entering the hall, visitors examine themselves in the mirror. Etiquette in letters is essentially the same formalities that have turned into customs.

Introduction

One of the basic principles of modern life is maintaining normal relationships between people and the desire to avoid conflicts. In turn, respect and attention can only be earned by maintaining politeness and restraint. Therefore, nothing is valued as dearly by the people around us as politeness and delicacy. But in life we ​​often have to deal with rudeness, harshness, and disrespect for the personality of another person. The reason here is that we underestimate the culture of human behavior, his manners.

Manners are a way of holding oneself, the external form of behavior, treatment of other people, expressions used in speech, tone, intonation, gait, gestures and even facial expressions characteristic of a person.

In society, good manners are considered to be a person’s modesty and restraint, the ability to control one’s actions, and to communicate carefully and tactfully with other people. Bad manners are considered to be the habit of speaking loudly, without hesitation in expressions, swagger in gestures and behavior, sloppiness in clothing, rudeness, manifested in open hostility towards others, in disregard for other people's interests and requests, in the shameless imposition of one's will and desires on other people, in the inability to restrain one’s irritation, in deliberately insulting the dignity of people around him, in tactlessness, foul language, and the use of humiliating nicknames and nicknames.

Good manners as the basis of etiquette

Good manners are the basis for the behavior of a well-mannered person in society. The way of dealing with other people, the expressions used in speech, tone, intonation, gait, gestures and facial expressions are all called manners. Modesty and restraint, the ability to control one’s actions, to communicate carefully and tactfully with other people—it is on these qualities that good manners are based. There are a few basic rules of etiquette that you should adhere to.

Good manners also mean that we know and understand other people, therefore we calmly accept their behavior and thus avoid irritation and bad attitude towards them, thereby causing a positive reaction on their part towards us. Manners are the ability to get your way by doing something nice for others. Manners are defined as treating people in a polite, courteous manner.

By assessing your principles, habits and instincts, identifying which of them are positive and which are negative, you can get an idea of ​​generally accepted norms, their interpretation and perception.

Bad manners are considered to be the habit of speaking loudly, without hesitation in expressions, swagger in gestures and behavior, sloppiness in clothing, rudeness, outright hostility towards others, disregard for other people's interests and needs, shameless imposition of one's will and desires on other people. Also - the inability to restrain one’s irritation, deliberate insult to the dignity of people around him, tactlessness and foul language.

Manners relate to the culture of human behavior and are regulated by etiquette. Etiquette implies a benevolent and respectful attitude towards all people, regardless of their position and social status. It includes polite treatment of a woman, respectful attitude towards elders, forms of address and greeting, rules of conversation and behavior at the table. In general, etiquette in a civilized society coincides with the general requirements of politeness, which are based on the principles of humanism.

A prerequisite for communication is delicacy, which should not be excessive. Do not mistake flattery and unjustified praise of what you see or hear for this quality. There is no need to try hard to hide the fact that you are seeing, listening to, tasting something for the first time, for fear of seeming ignorant. Any pretense is repulsive.

The ability to behave correctly in various situations can protect you from an unfriendly attitude, which is, of course, important for any person, and especially when it comes to his business relationships. The exchange of formal pleasantries (unless it is outright fawning) is actually not such a banal thing as it seems at first glance. By showing the proper tact, you win over your interlocutor and leave a pleasant impression - that’s the whole axiom.

The idea of ​​excessive complexity of etiquette rules and the desire to simplify relationships is very controversial. Stopping showing each other signs of respect does not mean taking life easier.

Courtesy

When it comes to social events, you should: answer as quickly as possible whether you will come or not; a promise should not be broken except for a very serious reason; and immediately inform the organizer of anything that has anything to do with your participation in the event.

This approach is universal. Of course, a formal breakfast is more important than a party in a pub, but the essence is the same. Call if you are running late or cannot make it at all, even if it is an informal meeting. It may surprise you, but people sometimes worry about you. For example, did you have an accident if you didn't show up for a meeting? Nowadays, with the widespread use of answering machines, you can cowardly call people when you expect them to be absent and leave your apologies on the answering machine.

How to introduce people

There are formal rules about how people should be introduced. There are situations where you certainly must do this with utmost care. More generally, in an ordinary everyday situation or at work, if there is any doubt that someone does not know someone, you should introduce people to each other in the simplest way possible. Of course, you can say more if you want. You can also immediately continue on your way, but you still have to introduce everyone. It is considered very bad form to force your friends to listen to your conversation with someone else without even introducing them to each other.

All this is even more important when it comes to social events. Many people who are otherwise polite and reasonable do a poor job of this task. They believe that introducing people to each other is not their business. Either they are too shy, or they assume that everyone already knows each other; or consider it too formal and tedious to introduce everyone by name. However, presentation is so important to the flow of conversation that it doesn't matter who does it. You may introduce your brother and sister to each other by mistake, but remember: it is better to introduce people you already know to each other than not to introduce them at all. Don't assume that everyone already knows each other. This is another example of underestimating one’s own importance: at some public event. You may know virtually no one, but others may know even fewer there. Then you can become a link between the two groups, and it is your responsibility to introduce them.

How to thank communication etiquette demeanor

What could be more important than this? When I tell people I'm writing a book on etiquette, this is the topic they care about most, and they insist that I cover it. They get hurt by how much other people don't bother to say "Thank you." This feeling is so universal - then who are the people who don’t bother to say thank you? Perhaps people expect words of gratitude from others to a greater extent and react sharply to their absence or insufficiency, while they themselves generally forget to say “Thank you.”

There are a huge number of options in this area, and you have to respect local traditions. However, in general, you should thank people appropriately for almost everything: an invitation (even if you decline it), a gift, a weekend spent visiting someone. You express gratitude immediately, and if the service or gift is very significant, you thank again later - in a letter, or by phone, or in person. (If you are thanking a family or group of people, it is best to do so in writing, since you may not be able to reach everyone by phone.) In some cases, you may want to give a small, symbolic gift. You should never say, “Oh, they probably know how grateful I am to them, so there’s no need to talk about it,” or, “So many people gave me wedding gifts, so I don’t think they expect me to thank each of them in writing.” " Both are completely wrong! I want to emphasize again: you will never make a mistake or offend anyone by expressing gratitude, but you will be wrong if you neglect this simple show of politeness.

Personal habits

There is a general consensus that certain manners and habits are inappropriate. This point of view of people should be taken into account, even if you yourself do not share it. The rules include the following:

Always cover your mouth with your hand when you cough or yawn.

Use a tissue when you sneeze, or cover your nose with your hand if you don't have time to do otherwise. Don't pick your nose or sniffle.

Don't itch or pick anything out from under your nails - such actions create a repulsive impression.

The main idea: you should not do anything that is unpleasant to the people who are forced to watch it.

A little embarrassment

Sometimes it happens that we unwittingly offend someone. No one is immune from mistakes, from accidental tactlessness in conversation or gesture. As a rule, all you need to do is apologize sincerely and the incident will be over. If you have a sense of humor, then perhaps the best way to apologize would be to admit your mistake in a cheerful manner, laughing at yourself. In any case, the moment of tension that has arisen cannot be left unresolved - it will be unpleasant for both you and your interlocutor.

When a person sneezes, you should tell him “be healthy!” even regardless of whether you know him or not.



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