What to do if your child is restless. A fidgety child: what to do with upbringing? Two dangerous periods

What a fidget!

We love our children dearly. But we don't always like the way they behave. We think: “What a blessing it is to be parents!” - when you hear boisterous laughter, when they obediently brush their teeth and act like little ladies and gentlemen. But, unfortunately or fortunately, the “devils” wake up in them, and we don’t know how to calm them down.

Despite the fact that each child is naughty in his own way, similar problems - general solutions. And our theme is a child “with a motor”. Let's try to figure it out?

He rushes around the apartment, clinging to corners and “destroying” everything around him. Starts to juggle food, spins on the stool until he falls. The ball hit the TV again. Even in kindergarten they say: “Your head is good, but your legs give you no rest.” He can’t spend a minute in peace! Do you recognize?

The term “hyperactivity” became fashionable and, as happens with fashionable terms, began to be used erroneously, for other purposes. The first thing you should know for sure: hyperactivity: is diagnosis, not a characteristic of behavior. And it sounds like this: That is, it is completely wrong to say about an active child who is almost always in motion: “He is hyperactive.” Active - yes, but “hyper” - no!

Many parents are sincerely surprised to learn that “hyperactivity” is a painful condition. They believed that this was simply a synonym for “restlessness”!

The term “hyperactivity” should be taken seriously, not considered a bargaining chip and in no case be confused with “restlessness”, “mobility” and “restlessness”. All this can be manifestations of the most healthy activity!

Of course, from time to time all healthy children have the manifestations described in the first column. But if much of the above is repeated frequently and continues for more than six months, then your child may have hyperactivity disorder.

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What a fidget!

We love our children dearly. But we don't always like the way they behave. We think: “What a blessing it is to be parents!” - when you hear boisterous laughter, when they obediently brush their teeth and act like little ladies and gentlemen. But, unfortunately or fortunately, the “devils” wake up in them, and we don’t know how to calm them down.

Despite the fact that each child is naughty in his own way, similar problems have common solutions. And our theme is a child “with a motor”. Let's try to figure it out?

He rushes around the apartment, clinging to corners and “destroying” everything around him. Starts to juggle food, spins on the stool until he falls. The ball hit the TV again. Even in kindergarten they say: “Your head is good, but your legs give you no rest.” He can’t spend a minute in peace! Do you recognize?

The term “hyperactivity” became fashionable and, as happens with fashionable terms, began to be used erroneously, for other purposes. The first thing you should know for sure: hyperactivity: is diagnosis, not a characteristic of behavior. And it sounds like this:attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD).That is, it is completely wrong to say about an active child who is almost always in motion: “He is hyperactive.” Active - yes, but “hyper” - no!

Many parents are sincerely surprised to learn that “hyperactivity” is a painful condition. They believed that this was simply a synonym for “restlessness”!

Healthy activity and hyperactivity: let's compare!

The term “hyperactivity” should be taken seriously, not considered a bargaining chip and in no case be confused with “restlessness”, “mobility” and “restlessness”. All this can be manifestations of the most healthy activity!

Of course, from time to time all healthy children have the manifestations described in the first column. But if much of the above is repeated frequently and continues for more than six months, then your child may have hyperactivity disorder.

Mini-test: Active baby

Sometimes you feel like your baby is too active. Let's try to find out if this is a healthy activity. Answer the questions “yes” or “no.”

1. Is the child able to spend time in quiet games or listen to a book several times a day?
2. Does the child like activities related to sorting objects (for example, “sort them by colors, by shapes,” “match the object to the picture,” etc.)?
3. Can your baby freeze for a few minutes while watching something new or interesting?
4. After a period of activity, is he able to calm down on his own (for example, by running or engaging in quieter play)?
5. Does he fall asleep well and soundly? ordinary days When is the ritual of falling asleep observed?
6. If he is upset or crying, can you calm him down relatively quickly by cuddling him?
7. When he comes to the clinic, is he able to wait quietly for a while if you occupy him with a game or a book, starting to run only if the wait is very long?
8. At a children's performance (intended for this age), he can concentrate on the performance at least for the first 20-30 minutes
9. Can you, with all the spontaneity, call him “cautious”?
10. His speech development Is it normal?

Let's summarize. If you answered “yes” to most of the questions, then there is probably nothing to worry about. Your child is quite active!

To a peaceful direction!

So, your child is active and inquisitive. It is important to maintain this activity for him

normal growth and development. even if you are very tired. And here are some recommendations.

*He needs it!If you remind yourself of this, it will become much easier. Little children are very special creatures. They have a great desire to understand the world around them, and they move towards their goal without noticing obstacles. The child’s attention is short-term: it is still difficult for him to concentrate on anything for a long time, he quickly switches. It is impossible to force him to do something that is not interesting to him.

* Create the conditions. A child learns about the world with his fingertips, which is why he needs to touch everything, and for this he needs to get there, climb, and run. parents should help him with this, creating conditions under which he can study the subject that interests him.

* He must move! A child, having run wild on the street, will behave much calmer at home. If he does not have such an opportunity, he will “light up” around the house, dropping everything!

* Develop attention.An active, lively child needs his parents to moderate their ardor from time to time and offer quiet entertainment. They really need to develop perseverance! Joint drawing, including with fingers, is perfect for this; modeling, reading. When walking on the street, spend part of your time just walking, talking with your child and drawing his attention to everything that is happening around him.

In the process of normal mental development There are several interesting mechanisms involved.

The first is that the baby gradually begins to “hold” the image of the object that interests him and resists attempts to distract himself. The older the baby gets, the more difficult it is for him to switch attention (normally, the ability to maintain attention is very important with age of development).

The second is that in order to achieve the goal, the child must ignore everything that interferes with this. Including your “no”! this mechanism allows him to walk (or run) forward, exploring the world. Try not to interfere with him, but rather help him.

We often hear mothers complain that their child is restless, requires constant attention and cannot be left alone for a minute. The question arises, what to do with such a child. The fidget causes a lot of trouble and worry to parents, because it is almost impossible to keep track of his movements, much less keep him safe.

Fidgety or hyperactive child?

Let's try to figure out what is hidden behind this cheerful term “fidget” that brings a lot of worries. It is immediately necessary to understand that the fidget and hyperactive child- this is not the same thing. Although behavioral lines external manifestations are similar, but the root causes behind each behavior model are very different. It is almost impossible for parents to figure this out without the help of a specialist.

Is a hyperactive child a modern disease?

Don't be scared by the fact that the term hyperactive child is found in medical terminology, and the fidget - only in colloquial speech. It is necessary to consult a doctor so that a specialist can understand the situation. Hyperactivity in children may be accompanied by a disease such as attention deficit disorder, which will become big problem when a child attends school, because it leads to scattered attention, poor concentration, and rapid fatigue during mental stress. And if you miss time, it is very difficult to fix something.

A hyperactive child often has low self-esteem and, as a rule, reacts very sharply to trivial situations, but at the same time it is very difficult to calm such a child. Such a child is very irritable and touchy.

In general, the symptoms hyperactive child are: restlessness, inconsistency, disobedience, stubbornness, absent-mindedness, carelessness, clumsiness. In older children, eccentricity and restlessness usually go away, but the inability to concentrate remains, sometimes even for life.

And who is this fidget?

• Firstly, this is a child who constantly causes a lot of trouble for parents. He keeps his parents in constant voltage, because at any moment he can climb somewhere, turn something over, injure himself or something around him.
• Secondly, such kids almost never obey, do they only do this? whatever they want, while not paying any attention to the screams, requests and persuasion of adults.

It is clear that all parents want their child to grow up obedient, well-mannered, without any worries or troubles. It’s clear that this almost never happens, but when a child’s behavior crosses all acceptable boundaries, we are simply at a loss, not knowing what to do and what to do. And, unable to bear it, we take our anger out on the child, and this makes everything even worse. And although we promise ourselves to hold back in the future, when the cup of patience is overflowing once again, everything happens all over again.

What to do and how to get out of this vicious circle?

A fidgety child is your child’s lifestyle and state of mind, so you have to come to terms with it.

But do not forget about age dynamics, because having begun as an urgent need to explore the world around us, this feature can develop into one of negative traits the character of the child if he encounters misunderstanding on the part of the parents.

When the child gets on his feet (at about 12 months) and begins to explore the open spaces offered to him, give him some freedom, because prohibitions will make him want to get his way at any cost. Be there to help when needed. Of course this requires large quantity patience and dedication from parents during this difficult and difficult period of time. But then you won’t have to rack your brains over what to do with your child’s intolerable character.

The more prohibitions and restrictions, the greater the temptation to break out of them and try everything that is prohibited. Of course, complete freedom is not an option, but try to give it as much as possible. Try as much as possible to satisfy your child’s needs in understanding the surrounding space.

Dear parents, show your imagination and creativity, and also try to involve the child as much as possible in free time. Thus, by offering him an alternative and the opportunity to learn something new and interesting, you will save yourself from problems with a fidgety child, and he will spend his free time usefully.

Maria Balashova (Maleeva)
Consultation “My child is a fidget”

"My child is fidgety»

Sometimes you have to hear from mom: “He doesn’t sit still at all”; “Keep an eye on him”; “He has an awl in one place” and so on.

Psychologists are often asked: “Is this normal?; Maybe he should be kept with a tight rein? What should I do with it? Should he indulge or forbid him?; How should I behave with him?" Let's first try to figure out what is hidden behind this funny word that brings so much trouble « fidget» ?

It must immediately be stated that fidget– this is not the same thing as hyperactive child. Behavioral manifestations may be similar, however, the root causes behind each behavior and the dynamics of the development of children's characters differ from each other. As a rule, it is difficult for the naked parent eye to distinguish between these manifestations; to do this, it is better to contact a specialist who will analyze all stages of your growing up. baby and will help you choose the optimal parenting style.

Don't be scared by the fact that the term is hyperactive child found in medical practice, and the word « fidget» only in colloquial speech. If child cannot sit in one place for even three minutes, is quickly exhausted from intellectual stress, cannot concentrate on anything, is motorically disinhibited, then in this case it can be assumed that he has baby attention disorder, the so-called attention deficit disorder (ADD, which is very often accompanied by a movement disorder - hyperactivity. Becoming obvious by the age of five (it is at this age that parents may confuse ADD with restlessness, attention deficit will acutely manifest itself when child will start studying at school. And if time is lost, then child It will be very difficult to adapt to the demands of school and study successfully. First of all, you should understand the situation calmly so that an adequate way out of the current circumstances can be found.

And who is he? « fidget» ? Firstly, this is always the one who gives adults a lot of trouble. There is a fear that this baby will climb somewhere, break something, hurt himself or something around him. We can say that parents with such child feel constantly stressed. Secondly, in addition to all this, they almost always say about such a nimble baby that he does not obey at all. Of course, all of us, adults, want our children to obey us, so that they grow up giving us as little care and worry as possible. Although we understand intellectually that this practically never happens, but when it goes beyond all acceptable limits, we sometimes don’t know what to do. And if sometimes, unable to bear it, we lash out at our beloved child, then we suffer from a feeling of guilt about our reaction. But when the cup of patience becomes full again, no matter how we set ourselves up before, in a more or less calm period of time, our nerves again make themselves felt, then causing another portion of feelings of guilt. And it will stand before us question: how to get out of this vicious circle?

Let's take things in order. Unlike hyperactivity, restlessness, so to speak, is not constant, i.e. fidgety child Maybe, although not as often as we would like, but still spend your leisure time quietly and calmly, that is, not be on the move all the time. Also, when interest arises in something, the fidget responds with its attention.

If your the child is not"hears" when adults approach him, often "Having his head in the clouds", is easily distracted, then this kind of inattention can be corrected (preferably in game form, training your attention as well as your muscles. There are special games effective in the directed development of attention.

Fidgeting is a way of life, the state of your soul baby, if you want. But there is also an age-related dynamics of this condition. Having started, in accordance with age development, How strong desire research environment this can develop into a persistent character trait of a growing personality baby, if he comes across ours with you misunderstanding. And when I got to school, baby can wait troubles: deuces, comments due "bad" behavior, and even worse, the labels of a loser and a hooligan.

In order for you and I to learn to understand the behavior of our beloved baby, we should not wait for five to seven years, but immediately after birth we should learn to understand each other.

Standing on my feet, literally (around 12 months of age) the child is interested in everything, which now falls into his expanded field of vision. After all, he has long been able to grab everything from us, turn it over, drag it into his mouth, etc., and now such open spaces are opening up and new ones are appearing physical abilities that it is very difficult not to use all this in order to satisfy his interest in studying everything that surrounds him. In this sensitive (sensitive) period of mental development baby, we, parents, need to satisfy this vital need baby, without fear giving him a certain amount of independence (but being nearby, to comply with the necessary safety measures). With the help of parents, primarily the mother, or her substitute, for further mental development child It is very important to make sure of the safety of the world and of your increasingly established competence. This, of course, is very difficult to do in everyday communication with child, but it’s better to be patient for this difficult, but very important period so that later the whole family does not have to rack their brains about what to do with such a restless character of your baby.

The more prohibitions and restrictions, frames and boundaries, the more persistent the desire of a growing person to try what "it is forbidden", find out what "it's still early", to penetrate where "forbidden". Of course, we do not mean complete freedom of action, complete permissibility and lack of control - this, in turn, also has its own undesirable consequences. We're talking about necessary conditions development baby that you and I, adults, create. Satisfying cognitive activity child in that volume, which he himself determines for us, you and I are laying the foundation of strong, trust relationships with our child. The patience spent will pay off in fruitful communication and will become the key to our peace of mind in the future.

This is especially important between 3 and 4 years of age, when child starts talking to himself "I" and experiments with her independence. You just need to always be there in order to provide assistance at the right moment. necessary help, suggest, explain, support. Trusting the world, feeling satisfaction from being needed, the baby will delight you with his development

We love our children dearly. But we don’t always like the way they behave. We think: “What a joy it is to be parents!” when we hear boisterous laughter as they obediently brush their teeth and act like little ladies and gentlemen. But, unfortunately or fortunately, sometimes “devils” wake up in them, and we don’t know how to calm them down. And then we are ready to exclaim: “Why am I being punished!” In the series of books “A Resolver for Parents” we will discuss many problems. And, most importantly, look for solutions. After all, despite the fact that each child is naughty in his own way, similar problems have common solutions. And our topic today is a child “with a motor.” Let's try to figure it out?

He rushes around the apartment, clinging to corners and “destroying” everything around him. He begins to juggle food at the table, spins on a stool until he falls. The ball hit the TV again! He cannot sit through lessons for even 10 minutes. Even in kindergarten or school they say: “You have a good head, but your legs give you no rest.” He can’t spend a minute in peace!

Do you recognize? The complaints of parents of active children are very similar. I often hear them say “my child is hyperactive.” The term “hyperactivity” became fashionable, and, as happens with fashionable terms, it began to be used erroneously, for other purposes. The first thing you should know for sure: hyperactivity is diagnosis, not a characteristic of behavior. That is, it is completely wrong to say about an active child who is almost always in motion: “he is hyperactive.” Active – yes, but “hyper” – no! Many mothers and fathers are sincerely surprised to learn that “hyperactivity” is a painful condition. They believed that this was simply a synonym for “restlessness”!

Perhaps you also need to figure out whether the child’s activity is appropriate age standards, i.e. “normal” or we're talking about about the painful state of hyperactivity? Most likely, this is why you bought this book. You will read in it six stories about children of primary, preschool and school age. We paired them up to compare how a child with normal activity and with ADHD behaved. In the book you will find mini-tests so that you can understand whether there are reasons for anxiety. And, of course, solutions that will help you build communication with your child.

Well, we hope you get answers to your questions. You may find that your worries are unfounded. But maybe our book will help you understand what a child needs professional help. Both – important result. Well, good luck!

The phenomenon of hyperactivity began to be studied at the end of the 19th century, and since then it has been studied by doctors and psychologists. big way to describe this condition and provide assistance to children. The full diagnosis is: ADHD syndrome (attention deficit hyperactive disorder). It is under this name that it is listed in international classification diseases, ICD-10, classified F90.

Fact #1: Hyperactivity syndrome is of a neurobiological nature, i.e. it depends on developmental characteristics nervous system, and not from the “evil will” or “bad upbringing” of the child. If at least one of the parents suffered from ADHD, then the risk of developing this syndrome in the child is 30–40%;

Fact #2: Hyperactivity syndrome is almost always combined with attention deficit (reduced attention levels), as well as impulsivity (reduced control over one’s actions);

Fact #3: Children with ADHD have normal intellectual development, and a decrease in performance in some tests is associated with a lack of attention and haste in answers;

Fact #4: Hyperactivity syndrome, as a diagnosis, can be made already in the first year of a child’s life, although diagnosis at this age is extremely difficult;

Fact #5: The problem of child hyperactivity begins to worry parents of children from 3 to 7 years old. If the first symptoms resembling hyperactivity syndrome appear later, then most likely this is due to other diseases;

Fact #6: ADHD affects about 5–7% of children of preschool and primary school age. Hyperactivity syndrome is the most common cause school maladjustment students in grades 1–4;

Fact #7: Boys suffer from ADHD significantly more often than girls. For example, in elementary school the ratio favoring boys is approximately 4:1;

Fact #8: TO adolescence hyperactivity decreases significantly or even disappears, but the “fame” that the child managed to earn earlier (“loafer,” “hooligan,” “loser”) persists and complicates life;

Fact #9: Only a neurologist or psychiatrist can make such a diagnosis. Parents, teachers, psychologists and doctors of other specialties can only assume presence of ADHD;

Fact #10: To make a diagnosis, a special examination is required, which includes a clinical interview with parents, test methods, including with the child himself. Necessary stage– a study of neurological status conducted by a neurologist.

Fact #11: Despite the fact that ADHD is neurobiological in nature, the environment in the family, garden and school matters a lot. Illiteracy and lack of understanding of the origins of the problem can aggravate the manifestations of hyperactivity, just as awareness and patient care can work wonders;

Fact #12: The sooner the problem is identified and help begins (both for the child and his family), the faster this condition is overcome, and the more better baby feels at home with family, among peers, and with “strangers” adults.

Fact #13: If a child suffers from ADHD, he or she is not the only one who needs help. His parents, like no one else, need information, with psychological support and guidance from specialists. That's who it's really difficult for!

Before we get to the most interesting part, i.e., looking at pictures from life in which you may recognize yourself and your child, you need to dwell on one important issue. If you have read everything that has been written on the previous pages, then you know that the term “hyperactivity” must be taken seriously, not considered a bargaining chip and in no case confused with “restlessness”, “mobility” and “ restlessness." All this can be manifestations of the most healthy activity! So how can you recognize whether your child is active and healthy or is already in a state of hyperactivity?

Of course, from time to time all healthy children have the manifestations described in the first column. But if many of the above are repeated frequently, and this continues for more than six months, then your child may have hyperactivity syndrome.

Mashenka came with her mother to my classes in the “short-term stay group”. 10 baby-mother pairs attended these classes twice a week. At one year and two months old, Masha was a real powerhouse, as they say - always visible. She boldly and actively explored first the space of the group, and then the sports and music halls. She was interested in everything, although as soon as the interest faded, it was impossible to keep her in place. Her mother Lena sighed tiredly and complained that her daughter did not sit for a minute, she was always climbing somewhere, climbing, climbing. He falls asleep with difficulty, and sleeps without getting enough sleep according to certain medical “standards.” Lena said confidently: “Masha is hyperactive!”

We love our children dearly. But we don’t always like the way they behave. We think: “What a joy it is to be parents!” when we hear boisterous laughter as they obediently brush their teeth and act like little ladies and gentlemen. But, unfortunately or fortunately, sometimes “devils” wake up in them, and we don’t know how to calm them down. And then we are ready to exclaim: “Why am I being punished!” In the series of books “A Resolver for Parents” we will discuss many problems. And, most importantly, look for solutions. After all, despite the fact that each child is naughty in his own way, similar problems have common solutions. And our topic today is a child “with a motor.” Let's try to figure it out?

What a fidget!

He rushes around the apartment, clinging to corners and “destroying” everything around him. He begins to juggle food at the table, spins on a stool until he falls. The ball hit the TV again! He cannot sit through lessons for even 10 minutes. Even in kindergarten or school they say: “You have a good head, but your legs give you no rest.” He can’t spend a minute in peace!

Do you recognize? The complaints of parents of active children are very similar. I often hear them say “my child is hyperactive.” The term “hyperactivity” became fashionable, and, as happens with fashionable terms, it began to be used erroneously, for other purposes. The first thing you should know for sure: hyperactivity is diagnosis, not a characteristic of behavior. That is, it is completely wrong to say about an active child who is almost always in motion: “he is hyperactive.” Active – yes, but “hyper” – no! Many mothers and fathers are sincerely surprised to learn that “hyperactivity” is a painful condition. They believed that this was simply a synonym for “restlessness”!

Perhaps you also need to figure out: is the child’s activity consistent with age norms, i.e., “normal,” or is it a painful state of hyperactivity? Most likely, this is why you bought this book. You will read in it six stories about children of primary, preschool and school age. We paired them up to compare how a child with normal activity and with ADHD behaved. In the book you will find mini-tests so that you can understand whether there are reasons for anxiety. And, of course, solutions that will help you build communication with your child.

Well, we hope you get answers to your questions. You may find that your worries are unfounded. But maybe our book will help you understand that your child needs professional help. Both are important results. Well, good luck!

13 facts about hyperactivity

The phenomenon of hyperactivity began to be studied at the end of the 19th century, and since then doctors and psychologists have come a long way in describing this condition and providing assistance to children. The full diagnosis is: ADHD syndrome (attention deficit hyperactive disorder). It is under this name that it is included in the international classification of diseases, ICD-10, under the heading F90.

Fact #1: Hyperactivity syndrome is of a neurobiological nature, i.e.

depends on the characteristics of the development of the nervous system, and not on the “evil will” or “bad upbringing” of the child. If at least one of the parents suffered from ADHD, then the risk of developing this syndrome in the child is 30–40%;

Fact #2: Hyperactivity syndrome is almost always combined with attention deficit (reduced attention levels), as well as impulsivity (reduced control over one’s actions);

Fact #3: Children with ADHD have normal intellectual development, and a decrease in performance in some tests is associated with a lack of attention and haste in answers;

Fact #4: Hyperactivity syndrome, as a diagnosis, can be made already in the first year of a child’s life, although diagnosis at this age is extremely difficult;

Fact #5: The problem of child hyperactivity begins to worry parents of children from 3 to 7 years old. If the first symptoms resembling hyperactivity syndrome appear later, then most likely this is due to other diseases;

Fact #6: ADHD affects about 5–7% of children of preschool and primary school age. Hyperactivity syndrome is the most common cause of school maladjustment among students in grades 1–4;

Fact #7: Boys suffer from ADHD significantly more often than girls. For example, in primary school the ratio favoring boys is approximately 4:1;

Fact #8: By adolescence, hyperactivity significantly decreases or even disappears, but the “fame” that the child managed to earn earlier (“loafer,” “hooligan,” “loser”) persists and complicates life;

Fact #9: Only a neurologist or psychiatrist can make such a diagnosis. Parents, teachers, psychologists and doctors of other specialties can only assume presence of ADHD;

Fact #10: To make a diagnosis, a special examination is required, which includes a clinical interview with parents, test methods, including with the child himself. The necessary stage is a study of the neurological status conducted by a neurologist.

Fact #11: Despite the fact that ADHD is neurobiological in nature, the environment in the family, garden and school matters a lot. Illiteracy and lack of understanding of the origins of the problem can aggravate the manifestations of hyperactivity, just as awareness and patient care can work wonders;

Fact #12: The sooner the problem is identified and help begins (both for the child and his family), the faster this condition is overcome, and the better the child feels with his family, among peers and with “strangers” adults.

Fact #13: If a child suffers from ADHD, he or she is not the only one who needs help. His parents, like no one else, need information, psychological support and guidance from specialists. That's who it's really difficult for!

"Hyper" or not?

Before we get to the most interesting part, i.e., looking at pictures from life in which you may recognize yourself and your child, you need to dwell on one important issue. If you have read everything that has been written on the previous pages, then you know that the term “hyperactivity” must be taken seriously, not considered a bargaining chip and in no case confused with “restlessness”, “mobility” and “ restlessness." All this can be manifestations of the most healthy activity! So how can you recognize whether your child is active and healthy or is already in a state of hyperactivity?

Table No. 1 1
These tables are intended for primary diagnosis by parents of their child over the age of 3.5–4 years. Only specialists can confirm or refute parents’ suspicions, and only during a special study!

Of course, from time to time all healthy children have the manifestations described in the first column. But if many of the above are repeated frequently, and this continues for more than six months, then your child may have hyperactivity syndrome.

Situation one: “Restless Masha”

Mashenka came with her mother to my classes in the “short-term stay group”. 10 baby-mother pairs attended these classes twice a week. At one year and two months old, Masha was a real powerhouse, as they say - always visible. She boldly and actively explored first the space of the group, and then the sports and music halls. She was interested in everything, although as soon as the interest faded, it was impossible to keep her in place. Her mother Lena sighed tiredly and complained that her daughter did not sit for a minute, she was always climbing somewhere, climbing, climbing. He falls asleep with difficulty, and sleeps without getting enough sleep according to certain medical “standards.” Lena said confidently: “Masha is hyperactive!”

When I hear the word “hyperactivity” from my parents, I always “take a stand.” How often is it used for other purposes!

“Lena, who told you about this?” I asked.

“But this is already understandable!” Lena answered carelessly, even with some pride.

“Maybe Masha was diagnosed with this?” I asked.

“Well... I don’t really remember. They said something like...” Lena said uncertainly.

After class, I went up to the medical office and took Masha’s card. There was no mention of hyperactivity. I decided to take a closer look at Masha to make sure that this active and restless girl really does not suffer from ADHD. And then tell her mother that you shouldn’t give your daughter serious diagnoses on your own!

On behalf of tired mothers 2
Here and further. Meaning collective image mothers, not the heroines of history.…

Well, how much can you do? Everything climbs and climbs somewhere! All day long, from the very morning, he climbs somewhere, reaches out, demands to give it, look, take it apart, throw it. And I was so tired during the first year! Change clothes, feed him, rock him, feed him again and rock him again, put him on, go out for a walk, and so on ad infinitum... It seemed that when he gets older, he will play on his own. He's already more than a year, he walks by himself, but there is no peace. He won't sit still for a minute! I say the word “no” a hundred times a day, but I don’t understand it, I still demand my way, and, if anything happens, I get hysterical. Getting to sleep is even more difficult - I don’t want to! He can run away on the street, even turn a corner, no fear! It seems that you understand that since you are active, it means you are healthy, but you are tired...

On behalf of the children 3
Here and further. Of course it's not inner speech so little man. Rather, it is his perception, conveyed in a form understandable to us adults.…

“Oh, there’s something interesting. They always hide everything from me! And they say: “When will you finally calm down! When will you sit down!” But I don't want to sit! And in general – I’m calm. I'm just interested in everything around me. What’s on mom’s table, and is the iron really hot? I’m also learning to run and jump, but it’s not that easy. And you need to train all the time! And sometimes they offer me to do something completely uninteresting and say “I have to.” “Necessary” is a boring word, I don’t understand it at all. “I want” is much better. After all, “I want” helps me learn a lot! I can carefully watch the fluff fly, I can run after pigeons, I can spin and dance, like I saw on TV. Just don't tell me to "calm down!"

Too much or not?

Your baby has crossed the milestone of his first birthday. First he learned to crawl, then walk, and then climb more high obstacles. From now on, he wants to get everything that was previously inaccessible to him. His body develops in movement, and nothing else. In order to rest, he only needs a few minutes, and again - go ahead! He is interested in everything, especially what happens above his height, as well as in the depths of various cabinets. And so he persistently climbs in to take a look. He now sleeps much less, and it is more difficult to put him to sleep. He already knows that being awake is much more interesting than sleeping!

Of course you are tired during the first year. And, of course, we hoped that it would be easier in the second year. But it turns out that your baby is near you all the time, and all the time in some kind of activity. Sometimes he drops something, sometimes he spills it, sometimes he scatters it... In general, not only does it require an “eye and an eye,” but also additional cleaning!

The child grows up and passes his second birthday. Of course, he has become more focused, and now he can tinker with his cars or dolls himself. I began to understand the words “impossible” and “dangerous” better. But all the same - he runs, jumps, spins, hums something loudly or repeats it many times. A hundred things have been started, and not a single one has been completed. There are markers scattered in one corner, a construction set in another, and a construction set in the third. soft toys, and in the middle of the room he is learning to jump high. In general - noise, hubbub and chaos!

If the child is active and “doesn’t give mom peace,” then someone else will say magic word“hyperactivity”, then the label for the child will be ready. But is it legal? In many cases, no!

Mini-test: Is activity healthy? 4
Here and further. This test is not strictly scientific. Rather, it is a tool that will help parents assess the child’s condition “as a first approximation.”?

Sometimes you feel like your baby is too active. Let's try to find out if this is a healthy activity. Answer the questions “yes” or “no”. The test is intended for children from 1 to 3 years old. But even if your child is older, still remember what he was like at that age. This will help you in diagnosing his condition. So…

1) Is the child able to spend time playing quiet games or listening to a book several times a day?

2) Does the child like activities related to sorting objects (for example, “sort them by colors, by shapes,” “match the object to the picture,” etc.)?

3) Can the baby freeze for a few minutes while watching something new or interesting?

4) After a period of activity, can he calm down on his own (for example, by running, doing a calmer activity)?

5) Does he fall asleep well and soundly on normal days if the sleep ritual is followed?

6) He is upset and crying. Can you calm him down relatively quickly if you pet him?

7) When he comes to the clinic, is he able to wait quietly for some time if you occupy him with a game or a book, starting to run only if the wait is very long?

8) At a children's play (intended for this age), can he concentrate on the performance at least for the first 20–30 minutes?

9) Can you, despite all his restlessness, call him “cautious”?

10) Is his speech development appropriate for his age?

Let's summarize. If you answered “yes” to most of the questions, then there is most likely nothing to worry about. Your baby is quite active!

To a peaceful direction!

If your baby is active and inquisitive, it is important for his healthy growth and development to maintain this activity. Even if you are very tired. And here are some recommendations...

1) He needs it! If you remind yourself of this, it will be much easier. Little children are very special creatures. They have a great desire to understand the world around them, and they move towards their goal without noticing obstacles. They have inexhaustible energy: when in the evening both parents are already lying motionless after playing and walking, the child still has enough strength to jump on them. Attention is short-term: it is still difficult for them to focus on anything for a long time, they quickly switch. They cannot be forced to do things that are not interesting to them. For a child under 3 years old, this is completely normal, natural behavior.

2) Create the conditions. A child experiences the world with the tips of his fingers, which is why he needs to touch everything, and for this he needs to get there, climb, and run. Parents should help him with this, creating conditions under which he can study the subject that interests him. The time will come when he will be able to occupy himself! In the meantime, stay close. Not allowing is not an option: he will get there anyway, but secretly, which means with potential danger for yourself! After all, it is no longer so easy to distract him from the thing that interests him. This means that we, parents, simply need to look for options in which “you can’t” turn into “you can.”

3) He must move! Let us remind you once again about the benefits of long active walks. At any time of the year, dress your baby so that he can run and jump comfortably. As soon as he learned to walk, most of walks he should not sleep in the stroller. A child who runs wild on the street will behave much calmer at home. If he doesn’t have such an opportunity, he will “run around” the apartment, dropping everything!

4) Develop attention. Active, lively children need their parents to moderate their ardor from time to time and offer quiet entertainment. They really need to develop perseverance! Joint drawing, including with fingers, is perfect for this; modeling, games for sorting objects, reading. While walking on the street, spend part of your time just walking, talking with your child and drawing his attention to everything that is happening around him.

For the normal mental development of a child, several interesting mechanisms are inherent in his nature. The first is that the baby gradually begins to “hold” the image of the object that interests him and resists attempts to distract himself. The older the baby gets, the worse the method of switching attention works. The second is that in order to achieve the goal, the child must ignore everything that interferes with this. Including your “no”! These mechanisms allow him to walk (or run!) forward, exploring the world. Try to at least not interfere with this, and at most help him.

What about Masha?

Let's return to the heroes of our story. Masha continued to go to the short-stay group, and I carefully watched her. I managed to sincerely fall in love with this restless girl, who cared about everything. She really managed to be everywhere at once! She moved quickly, almost always running, sometimes crawling when she was playing around. She was one of the first in the group to learn to jump on two legs and jump from a height. Mom said that even in the first year of her life physical development exceeded the "norms". Of course, this symptom is typical for children with hyperactive disorder, but the more I got to know Masha, the more convinced I became that the diagnosis of ADHD has nothing to do with her!

Yes, Masha is very active, but her every action has a purpose: she behaves this way when exploring the world, she wants to get to and explore what interests her. In addition, Masha does not have a decrease in attention - she “grabbed” everything literally on the fly. That is why she soon switched to other activities, and not at all because she was unable to maintain attention. Age standards are as follows: babies aged 1 year - 1 year 10 months can focus their attention on one type of activity (for example, a toy) for 2-5 minutes; from 1 year 10 months to 3 years – 10–15 minutes: from 3 years – up to 15–20 minutes.

I was able to convince her mother that her daughter’s activity is quite normal, moreover, the girl has wonderful potential as a intellectual development, as well as the functions of attention and memory. Lena realized that she shouldn’t throw around such concepts as “hyperactivity” when there is no reason for it. On next year Masha went to the nursery group kindergarten. Her new teachers praised her and called her “our support.” Masha literally led the other children behind her, being the first to master both the rules of behavior and the science of dressing independently. My last doubts were dispelled, because children with ADHD usually do not hear such praise addressed to them. Now Masha is already 5 years old, and she has retained her restless disposition. And, as before, it pleases the teachers. Although my mother sometimes sighs now: if only her daughter were calmer!

P.S. Don't rush into diagnoses!

Having learned that hyperactivity syndrome exists, many parents of children began to wonder: is their child too active? Isn't his condition painful? Parents often judge that they are “too” active based on their own state of fatigue. But it cannot be an indicator. And it is sometimes important for moms and dads to find out from a psychologist that everything is fine with the child. in perfect order, and there is no talk of any hyperactivity. This helps raise a healthy child!

Situation two: Vova is a hyperactive kid

I met Vova and his mother Lisa in the same short-stay group. He was the oldest in the group: the rest of the children were about 1 year and 3 months, and Vova was already 1 year and 8 months old. Children of this age who are part of a group often become a support for the teacher, because they quickly learn the rules, are more actively involved in classes, leading other children. But my hopes were quickly dashed. The first thing that struck me about Vova was his desperate look. There was stubbornness, resentment, and disobedience in him, but most importantly - some kind of inner restlessness. His mother Lisa looked tired, but at the same time very focused on her son’s behavior. And it was no coincidence, because she knew perfectly well what to expect from him.

For the first few months, Vova refused to take part in classes, no matter what we did. Mom made a lot of efforts to persuade him to join in games in a circle, finger gymnastics or music lessons. The only thing he loved was going to the gym. But even there he did not want to take part in “organized” activity, and did only what he wanted. He scattered toys, roughly throwing them on the floor. He beat other children, especially if the child was playing with something that Vova liked at that moment. In general, we all had a hard time! Lisa’s story and medical record confirmed that Vova was diagnosed with ADHD, attention deficit hyperactive disorder. And we started work...

On behalf of moms...

He is still so small, and I am already so tired. What will happen next? From birth he slept poorly and cried constantly. I thought the colic would go away, but nothing went away. Constantly in motion, even in his sleep he spins so that the pillow, sheet and blanket fall to the floor, and then he falls on them. During the day it is impossible to leave him alone: ​​he will immediately climb somewhere, break or smash him. And he won’t even stop, he keeps running and climbing. Sometimes it seems like he doesn't hear me at all. Other children will listen carefully and do what they are asked. But mine is not. Just a little bit - hysterics, lying on the floor, kicking, screaming. I’ve already tried everything: I tried to speak calmly, and screamed, and punished. Nothing works...