Actress Sylvia Kristel gained fame thanks to her filming in a series of erotic films about Emmanuelle. Sylvia recently passed away at the age of 60. In one of latest interviews, she admitted that in her youth she abused alcohol and drugs:
“When I was young, my body easily tolerated alcohol and cocaine overload. Cocaine created the illusion that I was damn talented. Over the years it has damaged my nasopharynx. And because of alcohol, according to the doctors, my liver became like that of a loader. And I had to take a break."
Christel became a clear example how bad habits can shorten your life. She suffered from lung cancer and liver cancer. At the same time, the woman did not give up until the last, following the main rule of her life: “Carry yourself high. People don't like people who are lying on the ground."
Bad habits are a sore subject for many. What are they and how to get rid of them?
Alcohol or drug addiction, smoking, overeating are long-known bad habits that lead to health problems throughout life, so restoring and protecting the liver is essential this moment is actual problem. Bad habits of modern times - watching everything on TV, every family has a shopaholic, computer addiction, Internet addiction, gambling addiction - computer and slot machines.
The origin of dependencies is very simple - usually it is an attempt to either replace something or avoid something. Smokers often say, “I smoke so as not to be nervous. I get nervous, light a cigarette, calm down.” How do you most often get hooked on smoking? alcohol-drugs? IN adolescence, under peer pressure to avoid rejection by the herd. Everyone knows when someone starts “drinking” - when difficulties arise in life, and in order to avoid anxiety, a person begins to anesthetize himself into unconsciousness.
Another confirmation of this model: people who quit smoking begin to overeat, those who quit drinking begin to smoke or drink coffee continuously. That is, in fact, they did not abandon or “abandon” - as they say in Montenegro - bad habit, and replaced it with another. People who quit smoking often say, “I feel like I’m missing something, there’s some kind of emptiness.” Modern methods addiction therapy takes this into account, and this void is filled with a positive habit - for example, running in the morning or some other ritual such as reading books or keeping a diary.
So, we found out that addiction is not a problem in itself - it is a consequence. The basis for the emergence of addiction or bad habit is anxiety, anxiety, fear. Addictions are a crooked method that the subconscious uses to reduce the intensity of negative emotional states. How to calm a crying child who hasn't been bought new toy? You need to switch his attention to something else, for example, show him a trick or introduce him to a peer. In exactly the same way, adults light a cigarette or go to the arcade or shopping “to take their mind off it.” Start to sit in in social networks in order to avoid, distract from activities they hate at work, they become dependent on the computer.
Even realizing the harm of alcohol, smoking, drugs, financial losses from impulsive shopping, a person prefers to pay with these to get worry or stress. Which is the definition of addiction.
That’s why most people cannot overcome addiction because their subconscious mind does not agree to solve the problem; without a substitute, they find themselves in a state of “unbearable anxiety.” For example, a teenager’s lack of self-esteem is replaced by a cigarette, so the idea of quitting on a conscious level is blocked by the subconscious, which believes that “smoking = independence, adulthood, coolness,” which means “non-smoking = lack of independence, immaturity, inferiority.” Each new attempt to quit, which is naturally accompanied by discomfort, only reinforces this block in the subconscious according to the scheme “if you smoke, there is no discomfort, if you don’t smoke, there is discomfort from withdrawal.”
There is also an interesting subconscious block-man doesn't want to lose something that belongs to him. Such a block is often a resistance factor during therapy. This also includes a person like “I’ll lose my identity”, “I won’t be me”, “I won’t feel safe”, etc. Zhivorad writes that there are often women with the subconscious block “if I’m thin, then I will be harassed." Therefore, a direct impact on the habit traditional forms treatment rarely produces lasting results.
How to get rid of addiction once and for all?
We need to fix the underlying problem that caused habit - constant unconscious anxiety. Fears, guilt, rage and traumatic memories create and continue to maintain such anxiety. Sometimes the cause of addiction is a feeling of inability to manage your life. When taking drugs or alcohol, a person seems to challenge the whole world, says “no”, which he cannot do in in good condition. The inability to say “no”, not to give in to pressure, is a very widespread problem among us; I myself struggled with this in my youth.
What exactly should you do to quit a bad habit?
I hope everyone agrees that a prerequisite for getting rid of addiction is to accept its presence. Not to be confused with “get over it.”
First of all, at the level of awareness, set yourself a goal. At the same time, you cannot set yourself the goal of “not smoking.” There are two reasons for this.
Firstly, it has been proven that our subconscious does not perceive the particle “not”. Therefore, when you persuade yourself “not to smoke” and “not to sleep,” the subconscious hears “smoking” and “sleeping.” For the same reason, if a mother loudly and constantly shouts “don’t fall” to a playing baby, you know what will happen. By the way, use this property of “not falling out” not only to overcome bad habits, but in life in general. In particular, instead of “stay awake” use “I’m awake” and instead of “don’t fall” and “don’t break the vase” use “be careful” and “keep the vase”, etc. It helps a lot when formulating requests. Check for yourself “Will you mind if I…” and “Will you agree if I…” in life.
Secondly, to break the “smoking/no smoking” swing, the goal must be more high order. Remember about distracting a crying child? The answer—in our case, the goal—must be asymmetrical. Possible goals:
- become a better spouse;
- become best parent so that children are proud and not ashamed;
- improve health;
- graduate from an abandoned college/institute;
- improve your qualifications, master another specialty;
- learn to cross stitch;
- grow spiritually.
By psychological aspect– -elimination negative energy and relieving anxiety, reducing the need to “silence” them with substitutes.
The physical aspect of addiction - substances that poison the body- overcome by detoxification: consumption large quantity water and heavy doses of vitamin C and group B (watch the dosage) throughout the entire period of overcoming addiction. The Finnish sauna helps a lot - toxins are removed from cells through sweat very effectively.
Fundamentally important point for success
You can't save anyone from addiction, you can only. Secret encodings, “conspiracies”, “sew-ins”, “adding powders”, hypnosis will never give a lasting result. I'll explain why.
In most cases, a relative or acquaintance of an addict asks for help, of course, wishing him well. But! The relative contacts not about the addict’s problem, but about his own problem, that is, the problem he has due to the behavior of the addicted relative. Therefore, no matter what the fortune teller or psychologist or anyone else promises, best case scenario the problem of the person seeking help will be solved, but not the problem of the person suffering from addiction. The one who was “coded” no longer drinks - relatives seem to be a problem my decided. Only the coded one himself now suffers even more. His subconscious pushes him “you need to drink,” but consciously he understands that he cannot. The balance of forces, according to various estimates, ranges from 84/12 to 95/5, always not in favor of consciousness. Such tension cannot last long and usually ends in tragedy.
Do not try with the best of intentions to help an addict avoid the discomfort of communicating with a therapist. By doing this you are only postponing the solution to the problem. “He’s ashamed,” “he’s withdrawn” are the most common answers to the question “why didn’t he come himself?” Persuade the sufferer to talk to the therapist in person, especially since for this you don’t need to publicly lead him through the door with the sign “sick people here”; you can chat via Skype from home, so that even your friends won’t find out.
In the meantime, you are gathering the strength to overcome your addiction once and for all, or you are persuading a relative to seek help, I will show you one thing simple technique stopping the urge to “shop”, play slot machines or angry birds, “use”, “smoke” or “run to the refrigerator”.
On upper lip there are two acupuncture points; they are located horizontally, exactly under the outer edges of the nostrils, and vertically, in the middle between the lower edge of the nose and the border of the rose part of the lip (the one that women cover with lipstick). So, when an “unbearable” urge to satisfy a bad habit appears, the index and thumb(either hand) simultaneously press on these points. We press hard, for 2-3 minutes, sometimes longer. We press until they appear discomfort and pain. For a few hours the desire to succumb to addiction will disappear...
We don't knock, we just press. There will be no numbness or spots, although some may experience it. On the other hand, this is not preparation for going on the podium, but the fight against addictions. If the appearance of spots on the lip motivates someone to finally solve the problem at its root, then let’s say thank you to these spots!
No problem. Here 10 ways to help you get rid of any addiction.
Come to the edge of life - For example, smoke a pack of cigarettes at once so that you feel so bad and don’t want to do it anymore. If you don’t want to test your strength, look on the Internet for stories of people who have suffered from this addiction. The same thing awaits you. Better yet, go to the hospital and look at the victims of addiction. All this will help you quit smoking and more.
Turn your addiction into an elite one - how to smoke 2 packs a day for 70 rubles, better time smoke a cigar a week for 1000 rubles. There will be many times more pleasure and coolness among friends. And the harm is much less. Moreover, the financial costs will be the same.
Turn your addiction into a source of income - you are addicted to computer games? Take part in a gaming championship or start a YouTube channel. If you like alcohol, start understanding it - they also pay well for this, or you can also start a channel - Specialist in wines up to 1000 rubles. And when addiction begins to bring money, then this is independence
Clear your brain - Most bad habits are associated with a violation of a healthy lifestyle. Start studying it. Every day, watch a video about improving yourself, collect knowledge. They clear your brain well and in six months you will be able to overcome any addiction. You can start with this playlist.
Make a bet - Sign an agreement with a friend that if you don’t give up your bad habit, you will give him a lot of money. It is an agreement certified by a notary. Burn all your bridges. This will motivate both you and your friend - he will keep a close eye on you in the hope of winning a prize.
Replace a bad habit with a good one - The nature of addiction is to quickly obtain pleasure and joy. But jogging slowly to your favorite music also helps release endorphins - happy hormones that give you a feeling of joy. Or you can spend 15 minutes a day laughing. There's a lot on YouTube funny videos. Google it and you will find out dozens of ways to have fun without becoming addicted.
Your life has no purpose - your brain cannot live without information. He constantly needs to think about something. And if there is no goal, the brain begins to search - What should it do? and as a result you get stuck on all sorts of crap. But there is a second feature - the brain always strives for what is simpler and more interesting. And hangs out on social networks and computer toys.
So start finding your life's purpose with this playlist.
This will help you get rid of bad habits.
Write down all the pros and cons - As a rule, one plus is a short-term improvement in mood. But after a few hours you have to “repeat the dose.” But there are very, very many disadvantages. Don’t forget to consult your doctor so that the list of disadvantages is longer. Then compare the lists and think - Why am I doing this?
Calculate the financial cost of addiction -
A person who smokes 1 pack a day spends 20,000 rubles a year. Over 30 years, this is already 600,000 - the price of a good used car.
Add money to cover up the consequences, money for medicine. Imagine at least approximately - How much does it cost you? What if you need emergency surgery? There prices are measured in thousands of euros. Do you have enough money to quickly solve your health problems?
Join a group of people struggling with your addiction - it will be better if it is led by a person who has overcome this addiction himself, and not by some certified wise guy. His practical experience+ support from other participants will help you quit bad habits.
But the most the best option This is a gradual restructuring healthy image life. Here's the guide
What's happened psychological dependence? This is a state when the weaker partner in a couple constantly looks back at the opinion significant person, puts his well-being depending on his assessment, position, does not take into account own interests.
Psychological dependence on a person varies. It can arise in a completely ordinary, at first glance, family. Usually, dependence is one-sided - the addict connects all his plans, goals and emotions with the one on whom he depends.
But how a common person, living independent life, all of a sudden starts to depend on someone? Why does he become so absorbed in the life of his partner that he completely forgets about his own life?
And finally, where does this painful attachment come from, given the complete impossibility of long-term separation?
Who and why becomes dependent on another person?
People who are unsure of themselves or those who were initially with early childhood, under excessively strict. You can acquire this kind of addiction in the following ways.
- There are people who mistakenly believe that lovers (especially lovers with Capital letters!) must Literally divide everything between two, even goals and desires. After some time, they no longer become able to separate their desires from the desires of their partner.
- In another case, psychological dependence on a loved one, even a very close one, arises when an individual always strives with all his might in everything. meet expectations your partner. Become ideal for him, the very best! In order not to swear and spoil relationships with quarrels and, in general, he never defends his opinion, suppressing his protest and. Often, all this does not even reach the conscious level, and is solved by the body with the help of psychosomatics - the person gets sick, withers, grows chronic diseases. But... he tries his best not to bring matters to conflict.
- In the third case, a person transfers his emotions to his loved one, endows the object of passion with his own traits and enjoys their romantic inseparability.
Psychological dependence on a man
Surely we have all encountered in life this type of relationship in a couple, when one of the partners “cannot imagine his existence without the other.”
That is, a person has found in a partner a source of resources that he is not able to obtain from himself, for example: love, pleasure, the joy of being.
TO psychological dependence from a man, a loved one women are more inclined. The reason for this is often strict upbringing and instilled by parents and teachers cultural values. Under the influence of cultural stereotypes, young girls can imagine their role in marriage differently, in some cases this can lead to psychological dependence.
- Many women see their only purpose in save your family at any cost. They do not even allow the thought of severing existing relationships, much less creating one. This is where addiction begins.
- There is such a category who, under the influence of fairy tales about a handsome prince on a white horse, selflessly assure themselves that their chosen one is Prince Charming from a fairytale. And despite the fact that real hero their lives may have little relevance fairy tale character, she is ready to devote her whole life to him. A kind of sacrifice is very characteristic of the female sex.
- Marriages in which one of the partners is given a dominant role naturally implies the dependence of the one who is not the head on the one who is. , and psychological.
- Addiction successfully develops among those who take the slogan “together forever” too literally. For them, being together means sharing all activities, be it football or sewing.
- Some people believe that the inability to live without your soul mate is real true love. However, this is not love, but an unhealthy addiction.
How to get rid of psychological dependence on a person
A person who has realized his addiction has realized that his condition is inherently unhealthy, that he suffers both when he and his partner are together, and even more so when they are apart, it is necessary to begin to fight the addiction.
- First, no matter how trivial it may sound, you need to realize that being an independent, independent person is it's not scary. You have grown up, you can now decide everything for yourself and be responsible for your actions.
- Then, which is also important - to be able to outline your own, separate your own interests from the interests of the family, from the interests of your loved one, and realize your self-worth. Don’t just be someone’s daughter or wife, but become your OWN independent personality.
- It is also worth finding your interests, realizing your, even weak, creative inclinations.
Which is a shame, but most women realize that they are in vicious circle psychological dependence on a loved one, men only when their adored partner decides to break up with them, .
If a partner leaves the couple, then the codependent begins to experience real withdrawal. I want to experience feelings of love, pleasure, joy, but the source of receiving them is no longer there. What to do?
Unfortunately, it is rare similar situation people understand the need for qualified help from a psychologist.
And here the addiction rears its head with all its might, sometimes it can even come to the point of attempting suicide, because the whole life of such a dependent woman was contained in her man, and if he is not around, then she has no reason to live anymore.
In this case, of course, everything is not simple; depression, emptiness, and unwillingness to live lie in wait along the way. To get out of the first moments of stress, you may need the help of others - loved ones, children, parents, friends, psychologists...
If this is not the case, then the person either finds new source of these resources: enters into new codependent relationships, or begins to abuse alcohol or other chemical drugs, or falls into, or becomes. That is, it creates a new codependency in order to again be able to experience pleasant feelings.
People turn to a psychologist with the problem of relationships that do not suit them. This could be a relationship with a partner, with children, with parents. It's obvious how much psychological condition the client depends on the behavior and state of the second participant in the relationship.
Majority codependent people cannot directly tell their partner what they want, think and feel. Instead, they use: grumble, blame, save, look helpless, insult, etc. And both participants in such relationships, as a rule, try to control each other. They make excuses, rationalize and mislead, they can harass their partner, threaten him or behave in an emphatically modest manner. And what they often mean is: “ If you really loved me, you would understand what I need and give it to me».
It is difficult, and sometimes impossible, for such people to be honest even with themselves. They hope that someone will read their thoughts, and they make efforts to read the thoughts of other people.
Working with a psychologist in such situations helps a person free himself from existing codependency and learn to build relationships without manipulation, openly discussing his desires and feelings with his partner.
Having become free from the shackles of codependency, a person builds good healthy relationships, and receives joy and energy from them, instead of previous suffering. Thus, by changing yourself, you can change the attitude of loved ones and others towards you.
But first, take the first step - admit that psychological dependence on a person, or as it is also called codependency is the case in your case. While there is no awareness of the problem, it seems that it is not clear what to fight, what to get rid of?
When you can identify the essence for yourself, then it will begin real work to get rid of addiction.
20 ideas about “ Psychological dependence on a person - how to get rid of it”
- Natalya Yarskaya
Yes, the fear of not being needed by someone is the cause of all troubles.
- Stanislav
I broke up with my girlfriend after 7 years of relationship, I don’t want to live, I don’t eat anything, I don’t drink, there’s unbearable pain in my soul, I don’t know what to do (((.
- Marika
Stanislav, I have a very similar situation to yours. Although we were together less, and the whole situation is incredibly confusing, I still don’t want to live. A month has already passed, and I didn’t even notice: there is fog in my head, but my heart is in pain, in my thoughts it is death or death. One wish: to pray for him to return...
- July
I read the following phrase: loneliness is not when you are alone, but when no one is waiting for you. Based on this, you can move on with your life.
- Anna
My story is very interesting, there is a young man who started living together, everything is fine, but at some point they simply replaced me, I began to get nervous, worry, and run after him. I already perceive any word spoken as meaning that he wants to hurt me or that he doesn’t need me. We have been together for 6 years, during which time there was a lot. But what’s most interesting is that when he’s not there, I’m sociable, cheerful, adequate. When he is nearby, something happens and I move away from all my friends, I become very nervous, dependent on him.
- Kira
I’ve been living in a civil marriage for 5 years... I feel exhausted... I’m trapped... I can’t leave... when I see him, everything infuriates me, he’s a pilot for days, doesn’t let me sleep at night, slams doors, watches TV at full blast, it’s like I’ve been putting up with it, forbidding me change my car for my own money, I’m going crazy, I don’t love him anymore, I’m confused, I’m afraid of fits of anger, I grab knives, and he brings it out, finds out something, and if I answer wrong, immediately for it clings and dismantles point by point, I feel like I’m in court... but I can’t leave... what is this??????? I can’t live like this anymore... an invisible lasso tightens the veins in my neck as soon as I decide to leave …..someone help
- Yana
I lived in a similar situation for four years. At first it seemed to me that I loved very much. Then I realized that it was an addiction, I couldn’t do anything. I had already accepted that I would live like this all my life, it seems like this is fate... He beat me, tested me, humiliated me. But I loved him very much. I couldn't imagine life without him. It turned out that he went on a business trip, and I went to go to university. We ended up not seeing each other for two months. I arrived before him and realized that I was free. She packed her things and disappeared for a year. A year later I found real freedom. But the main thing is not to see him; there were frequent temptations to return. We need to do something to separate for a while.
- galana
Girl, run away from him, run headlong. While you have time. I don’t have it anymore: I’m 57(.30 years old, I feel like a chestnut: he’ll give me a tiny piece of care and attention, I’ll swallow it - I’ll be happy until a puppy squeals, and the next day, or even the same day, he’ll pull out everything I gave by the thread. And I’m gasping for air and can’t breathe. The resentment is choking. And then there’s anger, and there’s a desire to take revenge. And to whom to take revenge? In childhood, we didn’t learn our lesson, neither friends nor relatives. And I understand that I allowed myself to get out of it, but I didn’t have the strength to “fight.” I wanted to change him, Kira, girl, you know your worth. I was born a woman, and this already earns respect for you. Don’t allow anything that offends and humiliates you. Maybe my comment is late. God willing, everything is fine with you now.
- Julia
- Stella
It is addiction. You need to understand yourself, determine WHY you are behaving this way, seemingly illogically.
- Yana
- Andrey
Oh, girls, how don’t you love yourself! I read your comments to the article, almost everyone is suffering, they are ready for a piece of love. normal human relationship, if only they would give...
You don’t respect yourself, do you think your partner will immediately rush to respect you? - Julia
And I'm really bad. Eat wonderful husband, two wonderful daughters. Two months ago I met a man. I haven’t slept or eaten for more than a month. I lost 9kg. I'm always trying to break off this utopian relationship. The husband thinks that everything is over on the side. Jumps in front of me, looks into my mouth. Depression doesn't end. Made friends with alcohol. All the symptoms are terrible depression. I'm afraid to go to the doctor. Any advice? Plizzzz
- Tanchik
And I seem to have become addicted. I feel that I am dependent on both my mother and my husband. There is no one nearby to talk to and cry with. I’m 33 years old, and I feel so insecure like I’m 10 years old.
- Christina
I lived in marriage for 34 years. There was everything... and it was all on myself. I didn’t get divorced, I was sorry, and I loved him, and I think I was and still am psychologically dependent on him. He didn’t support me, he didn’t give me a penny to the family. Everything that I made money with my own work... And in the fall I persuaded him to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous group, that’s where he found his next love, she was about 20 years younger than him, he asked for a divorce, we were quickly divorced because... there were both agree, I'm more I couldn’t see his loving eyes. On the third of March we were frolicked and he left, and I... died... I don’t want to live, everything has collapsed, I have no interest in anything... And only one thought... to even catch a glimpse of him, but he is blooming and enjoying his new life .Day and night, every second I think only about him.... I have a son, he also worries about me, I try to stay with him, but he can see what is happening to me. When leaving, my husband said that I had done nothing to prevent him from drank... How unbearably painful it is! I don’t know how to continue to live. It’s wonderful with him, but I don’t want to live, After all, I’m already 57... Sorry for the mistakes, I’m not Russian...
- Angela
I don't want to divorce my husband. That's all I don't want. But he just squeezes me like lemon. After his arrival after work, if I don’t hide in a book or on VK, I’m all like an aspen leaf. I'm shaking and nervous. No, I’m not afraid of him, I tried to understand what was wrong with me, because this had never happened before. We lay in bed for a long time, talked, walked in the parks... I started taking various tests, they asked various questions and you can ultimately understand how strong this disease of addiction is. He helped me come to terms with my diagnosis. I don’t want to do anything, but I need to look for a way out...
- Dmitriy
I don't even know where to start.
Part one. Divorced from his wife. There are two beautiful girls from the marriage. I endured it all very painfully. At first she kicked me out to my parents, and in fact, I had to understand that this was only a probationary period. But no, I suffered, I sought an explanation as to why we couldn’t be together, because she didn’t file for divorce. He began to insist on making things clear, and got a divorce.
Part two. By the time the court made me legally single, at my work (a small company, we were two men, one married woman, and the boss) everyone was already aware of my experiences, I could not hide it and suffered greatly. Sympathetic conversations began with that woman, which aroused mutual interest after some time.
We started dating secretly - at lunchtime, in the evening after (and then instead of) her classes at the dance studio. But we didn’t have anything serious, hugs and kisses with an eye on passers-by. And the result was always the same - bye, it’s time for me to go home.
Our secret relationship took on new shades, and very soon we confessed to each other tender feelings. Frequent calls, correspondence and secret meetings became known to her husband. One night she woke him up and admitted that she had fallen in love with another man. He asked who, and after my name was heard, he said “..yeah, I knew it!”...
Then everything happened very dynamically. My ex-wife During meetings, she began to notice the sparkle in my eyes and unmistakably declared that I was in love, and, most likely, with my colleague. I didn't deny it. On the day when my beloved told me about confessing to her husband, we were having lunch in a cafe when my ex began to cut off my phone with demands to urgently meet, because she had a very dream bad dream about me. She came to my work, and as soon as we drove a few meters in the direction of the cafe, HER husband called and asked to meet.
The meeting (three-way) took place upon our return, and in response to his complaints, the ex took me by the arm and apologized for both of us. I was shocked by her behavior and did not have time to answer anything intelligible. He spat and left.
Despite the fact that we ‘got burned’, HER and I continued to meet, regularly declaring our love. I said that I would ask her very soon important question. As a result, 3 months after our first secret date, and very romantically proposed marriage to her. There were tears of joy (both of them). There was that very moment when he gets down on his knee and, holding her hand, takes out a diamond ring. There was a violinist who played a gentle melody, there were passersby who filmed it all on their phones. She answered “Yes!”, and happier person was not on Earth. It was before the New Year 16/17.
On new year holidays everyone got sick, and we met again at work 2 weeks later. We're incredibly happy. She took my hand and solemnly declared that ‘I want and will be your wife’.
...meetings, correspondence, calls...
...declarations of love, promises of divorce...
…my husband’s visits to me
...she said that she would not be able to get a divorce in mid-February 17.
...then there was an emotional hole. Tears, antidepressants, sleeping pills. Several times I caught myself thinking that all that keeps me in this world is my girls, my little blood...
I started using the wedge by wedge method. Ignoring her at work caused a storm of emotions, rags and office supplies were flying in my direction.
The search for a replacement and some relationships with her (even with them) showed that in each I saw HER, the same one with whom I had been in love all this time.
Part three. At the beginning of the summer of 17, I again allowed him to hang around my neck, and a month later we found ourselves in the same bed for the first time. To say it was fantastic is an understatement.
This lasted 4 months. Then she decided not to sleep with her husband. I dissuaded her, because for myself I accepted the role of only a lover, although I loved her madly. She didn’t listen, started talking to him about divorce, and by the end of November she convinced me (but not him) again that she would get a divorce. She never filed the application. He, already pretty hungry, began to find out the reasons, and, pressing her against the wall, squeezed out a confession that we were lovers.
Hello again, horny husband. Again conversations about divorce and our bright future with her.
...it's stupid, but we decided that little man will solve the problems of three adults.
Today she is two months pregnant.
...Part 4, I hope, is the final one. Tears, I can’t do this... Conversations with my future mother-in-law, accusations. End. She works from home. He said he would raise the child. Abortion is out of the question.
Post scriptum. Perhaps we need to accept and move on? But how can we live knowing that a loved one has chosen the path of suffering for himself and for our child, who was conceived in such love?
