Victoria Samoilovna Tokareva The happiest day (collection). Do not criticize, give feedback only when it is really necessary and very gently

Read the text and complete tasks A1–A7; B1–B9

(1) Smells and screams floated through the house. (2) Nadezhda was setting the table and arguing with Oksana, who was in the bathroom and answering through the wall. (3) No words were heard, but Korolkov grasped the meaning of the conflict. (4) The conflict was that Nadezhda wanted to sit at the table with the young people, but Oksana did not want this and gave examples of other mothers who not only do not sit at the table, but even leave home. (5) Nadezhda shouted that she spent a week preparing festive table and all past life to raise Oksana and she does not intend to sit in the kitchen like a servant.
(6) Korolkov was lying on the sofa in his room. (7) His heart ached, or rather, he felt it, as if a heavy cobblestone had been placed in his chest. (8) He lay there and thought that he would leave and they would quarrel from morning to evening, because Oksana did not know how to talk to her mother, and Nadezhda did not know how to talk to her daughter. (9) She educates her by humiliating her. (10) And they light up against each other, like a match against a box.
(11) The door opened and Oksana came in wearing a long new jacket in the “retro” style, or, as she called it, “retro.”
“(12) Dad, tell her,” Oksana complained loudly. – (13) Why is she getting on my nerves?
– (14) How do you talk to your mother? – Korolkov retorted.
– (15) Well, dad. (16) Well, why is she sitting with us? (17) I will be tense all the time. (18) She always blurts out something that makes everyone uncomfortable...
– (19) What does “blurt out” mean?
– (20) Well, he won’t blurt out. (21) Will raise a toast to world peace. (22) Or he’ll start paying attention to me... (23) Or he’ll start putting food on everyone’s plates, as if he’s hungry...
– (24) You weren’t hungry, but we were starving.
– (25) That’s when it happened. (26) Forty years ago I was starving, and I still can’t get enough to eat. (27) The bread gets moldy, but she doesn’t throw it away.
“(28) It’s quite disgusting to listen to you,” Korolkov announced. – (29) You speak like a complete egoist.
- (30) Well, excuse me... (31) But it’s my birthday. (32) I’m sixteen years old. (33) Why can’t I do what I want on this day?
(34) Korolkov looked longingly at her clean, brand new face with brand new bright white teeth and thought that she had been overloved in childhood and now she would have to reap what they had sown. (35) He understood that his daughter needed him not when he carried her in his arms and visited her in the pioneer camp. (36) Namely now, at the age of sixteen, when the foundation of the whole later life, – right now we need our own father. (37) And not on an outpatient basis, as the doctors say - he came, he left. (38) A is stationary. (39) Every day. (40) Under constant surveillance. (41) So as not to miss possible complications. (42) And complications, as he understood, were coming. (43) The doorbell rang. (44) Oksana was blown away like the wind along with her displeasure, and a second later her voice was heard - tight and sonorous, like a stream launched under pressure. (45) Everything was fine with her. (46) There is a holiday ahead, and life is like a holiday.

(According to V.S. Tokareva)

*Victoria Samoilovna Tokareva (born in 1937) is a Russian prose writer and screenwriter.

A.1.Which answer option contains the information necessary to substantiate the answer to the question: “Why did the mother quarrel with her daughter?”

1 The mother spent too much effort and money preparing the festive table, but her daughter did not appreciate it.

2 Mother doesn’t like the way Oksana dresses.

3 Oksana did not want her mother to sit at the table with the young people.

4 Oksana was in the bathroom and did not help her mother prepare the festive table.

A.2.Indicate in what meaning the word “catch” is used in the text (sentence 3).

1 take advantage of the moment

2 expose

3 take

4 understand

A.3.Indicate a sentence in which metaphor is the means of expressive speech.

1 Why is she getting on my nerves?

2 Smells and screams floated through the house.

3 His heart ached, or rather, he felt it, as if a heavy cobblestone had been placed in his chest.

4 The door opened and Oksana came in wearing a long new jacket in the “retro” style, or, as she called it, “retro.”

A.4.Indicate the erroneous judgment.

1 In the word FELT all the consonants are hard.

2 There are SIXTEEN fewer sounds in the word than letters.

3 In the word BREAD the last sound is [p].

4 The word CHILDREN has the sound [ts].

A.5.Indicate a word with an alternating vowel in the root.

1 was starving

2 will get moldy

3 complications

4 put

A.6. In which word does the spelling of the prefix depend on the subsequent consonant sound?

1 talking

2 opened

3 will raise

4 do

A.7. In which word the spelling of the suffix is ​​determined by the rule: “In full passive participles formed from verbs perfect form, spelled NN"?

1 bathroom

2 long

3 launched

4 exactly

B.1. Replace the colloquial word “blurts out”

B.2. Replace the phrase “looked with longing” with adjacency

B.3. Write down the grammatical basis of sentence 41.

B.4. Among sentences 36-46, find a sentence with separate definition. Write the number of this offer.

B.5. In the sentences below from the text read, all commas are numbered. Write down the number indicating the comma when addressing.

B.6. Specify quantity grammar basics in sentence 4. Write the answer in numbers.

B.7. In the sentences below from the text read, all commas are numbered. Write down the numbers indicating commas between parts of a complex sentence connected by a subordinate connection.

B.8. Find among sentences 2-4 complex sentence with homogeneous

B.9. Among the offers 7-11 find complex sentence with subordinating and non-union connection. Write the number of this offer.

Answers

Which answer option contains the information necessary to substantiate the answer to the question: “Why did the mother quarrel with her daughter?”

You answered correctly:

3) Oksana did not want her mother to sit at the table with the young people.

Indicate in what sense the word “catch” is used in the text (sentence 3).

You answered correctly:

4) understand

Indicate a sentence in which the means of expressive speech is metaphor.

You answered correctly:

2) Smells and screams floated through the house.

Indicate the erroneous judgment.

You answered correctly:

1) In the word FELT all the consonants are hard.

Identify a word with an alternating vowel in the root.

You answered correctly:

4) put

In which word does the spelling of a prefix depend on the subsequent consonant sound?

You answered correctly:

1) talking

In which word is the spelling of the suffix determined by the rule: “In complete passive participles formed from perfective verbs, NN is written”?

You answered correctly:

3) let go

Replace the colloquial word “blurnet” in sentence 18 stylistically neutral synonym. Write this synonym.

You answered correctly:

will say

Replace the phrase “looked with longing”, built on the basis of control, with a synonymous combination with the connection adjacency. Write the resulting phrase.

You answered correctly:

looked sadly

Write down the grammatical basis of sentence 41.

You answered correctly:

don't miss

Among sentences 36-46, find a sentence with a separate definition. Write the number of this offer.

You answered correctly:

In the sentences below from the text read, all commas are numbered. Write down the number indicating the comma when addressing.

The door opened (1) and Oksana came in wearing a long new jacket in the “retro” style, (2) or (3) as she called it, (4) “retro.”
“Dad, (5) tell her, (6),” Oksana complained loudly. – Why is she getting on my nerves?

You answered correctly:

Indicate the number of grammatical bases in sentence 4. Write the answer in numbers.

You answered correctly:

In the sentences below from the text read, all commas are numbered. Write down the numbers indicating commas between parts of a complex sentence connected by a subordinate connection.

Namely now, (1) at the age of sixteen, (2) when the foundation of the rest of life is being laid, (3) - it is now that a father is needed. And not on an outpatient basis, (4) as the doctors say, (5) - he came, (6) he left.

You answered correctly:

Among sentences 2-4, find a complex sentence with homogeneous subordination of subordinate clauses. Write the number of this offer.

You answered correctly:

Among sentences 7-11, find a complex sentence with a subordinating and non-union connection. Write the number of this offer.

You answered correctly:

How to explain to a 14-year-old daughter that she needs to help her parents, and without reminders? My husband and I are at work until late in the evening, sometimes we ask our daughter to pick up her little sister from kindergarten. She fulfills the request, while showing dissatisfaction. We are already afraid to ask for something again, so as not to see her dissatisfied face, “twitching” and other things. On weekends and in the evenings, I always have to ask her to help with cooking and cleaning. She doesn't even make her bed in the morning. He does everything somehow and only after I yell. Sometimes I catch myself with the bad thought that my child is a complete stranger to me, I don’t understand her. Sometimes even her presence is unpleasant to me. This scares me.

Sarah, 37 years old

Adolescence - difficult time For the whole family, conflicts with a teenager are inevitable. Your task is to “stick it out” yourself and be supportive enough to maintain your relationship with your daughter. Remember: everything that you once put into it, all your upbringing did not pass by, it’s just that other things came to the surface for a while. Try to remember yourself as a teenager and more often put yourself in your daughter’s place, try to look at the world through her eyes, at least sometimes. Remind yourself that this is normative. age crisis, and it will definitely pass.

This is the time of developing self-awareness, feeling yourself in this world, searching for your place, your path. And until the old place and parental path are rejected - at least partially - it will not be possible to create something truly your own, new, to gain own voice. The rules of your family’s life will be tested for strength and compliance with life’s realities: “Mom always said that you need to make the bed. Why? It seems that I’m comfortable as is, maybe it’s for mom to make the bed correctly, but not for me?”

For teenagers, the word “should” does not work without an explanation of how it might have worked before when they were small children. Who needs it? Why is it necessary? After all, if you honestly answer this question, then all this is necessary - cleaning, cooking, making the bed - not for her, but for you. And this will have to be taken into account. But this does not mean that you cannot negotiate with a teenager. That's what we need to negotiate.

For example, discuss that everyone has the right to express themselves in a way that suits them, as long as it does not interfere with their loved ones. Therefore, when people live together, they have certain “dormitory rules”. Talk about the fact that for general comfort everyone should have their own responsibilities, try to agree on a clear list of her personal responsibilities that are performed without reminders. And don't go beyond this list. So it will be hers at your own pace responsibility rather than following your instructions.

Do not limit your communication with your daughter to topics of responsibilities: discuss films, books, look for things in common with her. new personality which is being born now. I wish you strength to survive adolescence daughters. It’s difficult not only for her, but also for you. Try to give yourself more time and attention, take care of yourself, allow yourself to meet friends, go for walks, go to the movies. The better you feel, the easier it will be for you to communicate with your daughter.

Task formulation:

In task 15.2. You are asked to write an essay based on the text you read.
Text (open in new window)

Write an argumentative essay. Explain how you understand the meaning of the ending of the text: “The letters, taking advantage of her blindness, were not taken out of the box - they were taken out of her soul, and now not only she, but also her soul has become blind and deaf.”
In your essay, give two arguments from the text you read that support your reasoning.
When giving examples, indicate numbers necessary proposals or use citation.
The essay must be at least 70 words.
If the essay is a paraphrase or a complete rewrite source without any comments, such work is scored zero points.
Write your essay neatly and in legible handwriting.

THESIS - statement. Controversial judgment. One or two sentences. Thought requiring proof: In my opinion, writing argumentative essay 15.2 is very easy.- this is a thesis that certainly requires proof.

Let's start from the task: Explain how you understand the meaning of the ending of the text: “The letters, taking advantage of her blindness, were not taken out of the box - they were taken out of her soul, and now not only she, but also her soul has become blind and deaf.” Composition of this type very good to start with introductory words: in my opinion, in my opinion, it seems to me, I think etc.

Example thesis:

In my opinion,For Anna Fedotovna, letters from the front were more than just letters, they were the only memory of her son who did not return from the war, so her soul was empty with their loss.

ARGUMENT - an argument given as evidence of a thesis. Arguments in the essay 15.2. there should be two, they should be from the text read.

COMMENT - an explanation of an argument, an argument. Is required structural element the evidentiary part of any essay-reasoning

Example of arguments and comments for them:

Argument 1: In sentence #17, the author calls the letters “priceless.”
Comment: This epithet is used together with the word “leaves”, which has a diminutive suffix. This contrasting combination of two words allows us to understand the importance of these same “leaves” for an elderly woman.

Argument 2: In sentence 53 the soul of an old woman is compared to a boxOuch.
Comment: People usually store their most valuable things in boxes: jewelry, money. But for the heroine, the most important values ​​were not material, but spiritual. She kept letters in the box, as if in her soul(“The letters, taking advantage of her blindness, were not taken out of the box - they were taken out of her soul”). With the help of this metaphor, the author shows the significance that the letters had for the old woman.

CONCLUSION - conclusion on the thesis, conclusion. Must relate to the statement made at the beginning. The easiest way to start a conclusion is with introductory words and constructions: To summarize all of the above, ..., Having analyzed the two arguments, we can come to the conclusion that..., Thus, we can conclude that... etc.

Conclusion example:

Summarizing all of the above, we can conclude thatletters from the front were a real treasure for Anna Fedotovna, they were of great spiritual value to her, therefore, having lost them, elderly woman It was as if she had lost part of her soul.

The most difficult stage of work when writing an essay is 15.2. The OGE in Russian will be a selection of arguments. This needs to be taken as seriously as possible. Since you don’t need to invent your own arguments here, all you need to do is analyze the text, rereading it carefully if necessary, and find keywords, proposals, thoughts expressed by the author of the text in order to make his words more convincing. Arguments are the author's evidence.
And then use a template construction to formulate your argument:

Firstly, sentence No.... talks about... ( used..., a means such as... is used). This indicates that..., ( this allows us to judge that..., this suggests that...).

That's it! Good luck on the exam!

The most serious mistake that many mothers and grandmothers make when raising a daughter and, accordingly, a granddaughter is to program her with a certain mandatory set of skills and qualities that she must possess. “You must be nice”, “You must be flexible”, “You must be liked”, “You must learn to cook”, “You must”. There is nothing wrong with the ability to cook, but the girl develops a flawed mindset: you will only have value if you meet a set of criteria. Here, a personal example will work much more effectively and without trauma to the psyche: let’s cook a delicious soup together. Let's clean the house together. Let's choose your hairstyle together. Seeing how her mother does something and enjoys it, her daughter will want to learn how to do it. And on the contrary, if a mother hates something, then no matter how much she repeats that she needs to learn it, the girl will have a subconscious aversion to the process. But in fact, the girl will learn everything she needs sooner or later anyway. When she herself needs it.

The second mistake that is often encountered in raising daughters is a heavy, judgmental attitude towards men and sex, which is transmitted to her by her mother. “They all want the same thing,” “Look, he’ll screw you up and leave you,” “The main thing is don’t bring it in the hem,” “You should be inaccessible.” As a result, the girl grows up with the feeling that men are aggressors and rapists, that sex is something dirty and bad that should be avoided. At the same time, as she ages, her body will begin to send her signals, hormones will begin to rage, and this internal contradiction between the prohibition coming from the mother and the desire coming from within is also very traumatic.

The third mistake, which surprisingly contrasts with the second, is that closer to the age of 20, the girl is told that her formula for happiness consists of “getting married and giving birth.” And ideally, before the age of 25, otherwise it will be too late. Think about it: first, as a child, she was told what she had to learn (list) in order to get married and become a mother, then for several years she was conveyed the idea that men are assholes and sex is dirt, and now again: get married and give birth . This is paradoxical, but often it is precisely these contradictory attitudes that mothers voice to their daughters. The result is fear of relationships as such. And the risk of losing yourself, losing touch with your desires and realizing what the girl really wants increases significantly.

The fourth mistake is overprotection. Now this is a big problem, mothers are increasingly tying their daughters to themselves and surrounding them with so many prohibitions that it becomes scary. Don’t go for walks, don’t be friends with these guys, call me every half hour, where are you, why are you 3 minutes late. Girls are not given any freedom, they are not given the right to make decisions, because these decisions may turn out to be wrong. But that's okay! At the age of 14-16, a normal teenager goes through the process of separation, he wants to decide everything himself, and (with the exception of issues of life and health) he needs to be given this opportunity. Because if a girl grows up under her mother’s heel, she will become convinced that she is a second-class creature, incapable of autonomous existence, and that everything will always be decided for her by other people.

The fifth mistake is the formation of a negative image of the father. It doesn’t matter whether the father is present in the family or the mother is raising the child without his participation, it is unacceptable to turn the father into a demon. You cannot tell a child that his shortcomings are bad heredity on the paternal side. You can’t denigrate your father, no matter what he was. If he really was a “goat,” then the mother should admit her share of responsibility for the fact that she chose this particular man as the father of her child. It was a mistake, so the parents separated, but responsibility for the one who took part in the conception cannot be transferred to the girl. It's definitely not her fault.

Sixth mistake - corporal punishment. Of course, you should not hit any children, ever, but it is worth recognizing that this is more traumatic for girls. Psychologically, the girl quickly slides from normal self-esteem to the position of humiliation and subordination. What if physical punishment comes from the father - this will almost certainly lead to the girl choosing aggressors as partners.

The seventh mistake is under-praising. A daughter should grow up constantly hearing that she is the most beautiful, the most beloved, the most capable, the best. This will form a healthy, normal self-esteem. This will help the girl grow up with a feeling of self-satisfaction, self-acceptance, and self-love. This is the key to her happy future.

The eighth mistake is clarifying the relationship in front of your daughter. Parents should never start arguments in front of their children; this is simply unacceptable. Especially if we're talking about about the personal qualities of the mother and father, mutual accusations. The child should not see this. And if this happens, both parents must apologize and explain that they could not cope with their feelings, they quarreled and have already made peace, and most importantly, the child has nothing to do with it.

The ninth mistake is incorrectly living a girl’s puberty. There are two extremes here: allow everything so as not to lose contact, and prohibit everything so as not to “miss out.” As they say, both are worse. The only way overcome this difficult period for everyone without sacrifice - firmness and goodwill. Firmness is in upholding the boundaries of what is permitted, goodwill is in communication. For girls at this age, it is especially important that they talk to them a lot, ask questions, answer idiotic questions, and share their memories. And you need to react calmer, never use these conversations against the child. If this is not done now, there will never be closeness again, and the grown daughter will say: “I never trusted my mother.”

Finally, the last mistake is the wrong attitude towards life. Girls should never be told that her life must include certain items. Get married, give birth, lose weight, don’t get fat, and so on. A girl needs to be encouraged to achieve self-realization, to be able to listen to herself, to be able to do what she likes, what she can do, to enjoy herself, to be independent from other people’s assessments and public opinion. Then a happy, beautiful, self-confident woman will grow up, ready for a full-fledged partnership.

Let me start by saying that boys are easier to raise. For many reasons. Boys are born “empty”, and they need to be taught a lot, a lot needs to be invested in them (if we talk specifically about values ​​and relationships). It’s not so scary to make a mistake somewhere, if the boy has not yet grown up, there is still a lot that can be grown in him. It’s difficult if there is no man nearby. And if there is a man, and he is good, then this is enough.

It's different with girls. We are born already complete. Service, care, and love are already embedded in us with the fullest possible values ​​and principles. Therefore, the task of parents here is to a greater extent– don’t break it. Do no harm. Don't burn all the good things that are in it. Agree, the responsibility is huge. And the cost of error is higher. If you break something that you didn’t create, how do you fix it?

Girls are more sensitive, more vulnerable, more touchy. Therefore, any breakdown of emotions, any raising of the voice, any punishment can break her psyche. And make her either a real “robocop” or a constantly offended child.

This has been said millions of times, but the root of the word "girl" is "deva" - it means divine. This is about the fullness with which the girl already comes into this world, and about the special test for the family with her arrival.

And if we take this to a more understandable level, every girl is a princess. Princesses are different. There are very gentle and hardworking ones, there are very creative and easy-going ones, there are also fighting princesses, but even they are princesses.

To see a divine spark in your girl, even if she is far from the classical understanding of a girl - she doesn’t sit still, fights with boys, doesn’t like to cook. You just came across a princess from a line of warriors. This is how it was destined for both of you. But even with such a character, she is a princess. Maybe she won't wear beautiful dresses and style her hair beautifully. Maybe she will be indifferent to crowns and jewelry. But you should still treat her like a princess. With respect, honor and admiration.

99 percent of women consider themselves not very beautiful. Even those whom everyone else would consider beautiful. Because in our childhood we heard a lot of epithets about our crooked or bony legs, long or hooked nose, thin or too full lips and other parts of the body.

The biggest contribution to this is made by parents, or rather mothers. They are, of course, out of love. But it doesn't work out very well. Mom is trying to make her daughter beautiful in her understanding of beauty, but who said that her understanding is correct? And some mothers even unconsciously compete with their daughter, so they try in every possible way to explain to her that she is not very good.

Therefore, if in relation to your daughter you can prevent such assessments of appearance in negative side- this will already be a victory. And if you also constantly tell her how beautiful she is, how pretty her eyes, hair and everything else are, then your girl’s self-esteem will be much better.

I foresee indignation that she will become arrogant and proud, and that it is possible to over-praise her. Do you really think this is possible? Or is this how we convince ourselves that we have been praised enough to grow up to be normal people?

Dress up your princesses and pamper them. Let them play out their role as a princess in childhood so that they have a good foundation for further development.

I feel like I talk about this all the time. But it's worth saying again. Teach the girl what will be useful to her in life. Don't force her to cram everything for an A in school, especially what she doesn't like. Rejoice equally in both C grades in chemistry and A grades in labor. Because none chemical formula and not a single one physical law She won't need it in life. And self-esteem can easily be killed, just like nerve cells. Or set the wrong vector of development to please you.

And teach what no school teaches. How to be a woman, how to build relationships, how to cook that same borscht and bake pies, how to iron shirts, how to style your hair. This is something that will definitely be useful to her in life. What she definitely needs and is important. But where is this taught?

Again, if a girl is born already complete, filled with all the best, then our task is to preserve it all. Preserve her purity - both physical and moral. It’s not just premarital relationships that are scary for girls. There are other sad things - alcohol, smoking, drugs, slang. And besides, excessive attachments to money, gadgets, fashion, fast food, TV, consumption. There are many temptations in this world, and some seem not so terrible. Just ask yourself the question - is this benefiting my daughter? And isn’t her purity lost in this – whether physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual?

The most difficult thing about this place is that you need to start talking about it as early as possible. Because when the time comes, she will no longer be ready to listen to you. If from childhood she knows that she should have one man, that bed only after marriage, if this will be the norm in her eyes in childhood, That more chances that as a teenager, she will make a choice in favor of purity.

Values ​​are instilled from the cradle, especially in girls. Because they already have it all inside them, what you tell them will be close to her. She will love a fairy tale where the princess has only one prince for the rest of her life, and they live not always simply, but together. She will love the fairy tale about how an evil sorcerer wanted to deceive and steal the princess by stealing her kiss, but the princess refused and was saved. And so on. Always tell the girl how important cleanliness is. By your own example, by the example of cartoon characters, fairy tales, and books.

Although this point should have been put first, I decided to put it in the middle so as not to get eaten. I'm kidding, but every joke is only part of a joke. Indeed, every time I say that the father of children must be respected, I come across wild resistance from women. Especially those who are already divorced. The arguments vary, but usually he is this and that and there is nothing to respect.

Just think about what you are broadcasting to your daughter. Without even saying a word, just a grin can signal to her that men are nonentities. And she will definitely remember this for the rest of her life.

If you once chose this man to be the father of your daughter, bear responsibility for this. Remember only the good things that happened between you and tell your daughter about it. As often as possible. Encourage their communication, because for a girl, dad is the first romance. If he gives her a feeling of being needed and loved, it will be easier for her to live. If she feels his protection and support, it will be easier for her to build relationships with men.

And if he himself doesn’t do anything special, do it yourself. Tell her about how dad took care of her when she was a baby. How he bought her her first dress or first shoes, how he bragged about her photographs to everyone, how he once protected her in kindergarten. Collect such valuable little things and tell, tell. Don't be possessive, don't divide the child, don't measure who did more and who did less. Your goal is to help her become happy, not to settle scores.

Invite him to give her flowers on holidays, like a real princess. Let them sometimes go to the cinema or theater together. Delegate to him the complete protection of your daughter - in any circumstances. Upbringing, training - all this is your task, and you need to spend more time with your daughter. Why not tell her a lot of good things about her father at that time? Yes, it’s useful for you to train, and for her it’s like a balm for the soul.

And the best thing you can do is be happy next to her dad. So that her dad loves you, admires you, pays attention to you. The girl loves her dad very much, which means she strives to become the one he loves the most. If your husband loves you the most, then she will want to be like you.

Women are very vulnerable. Since childhood. Any careless word hurts. We often strive to “toughen” girls and prepare them for difficult life. Therefore, it’s better that we start criticizing them and correcting them so that they get used to it. But what are we achieving with this?

A study was conducted. If a person started laughing at someone behind a woman's back, 90 out of 100 women took it personally and turned around to check. That is, we are so sensitive to criticism, so tense, that we perceive any words behind our backs as being said to us.

Don't criticize girls. Please. Remember how you gave up when you tried, washed the floor of the house, and your mother immediately pointed out the dirty corners. Remember how you don’t want to do anything after someone pokes your nose into a greasy dish, a mistake in a notebook, a crooked seam, or an incorrectly applied shadow.

In most cases, it is generally better to remain silent. The girl will probably see the curvature of her stitches herself. And if you point it out to her, she might stop sewing altogether. I had a wonderful labor teacher at school. This is probably why I am so afraid to sew. And even with a great desire and a beautiful car at home, I can’t start. Because for any mistake they slapped us on the wrist, saying “filthy hands!” And as punishment they somehow forced the whole class to eat white sauce. Without anything. Simply because we didn’t think to bring a side dish for this sauce.

Where feedback is needed and important, try to do it very gently and delicately. Not directly. Maybe you should just give a hint and she will understand everything herself. Experiment to feel this edge.

Feminine energy is closely related to creativity. If a girl does not do anything like that, sooner or later she will be overcome by apathy and depression. Creativity comes in different forms, and each girl chooses something for herself. At this moment. After some time, her tastes may change - and this is normal.

If she has stopped loving music lessons, do not stand over her with a whip. Give her a break from music - and maybe she will return to this hobby again. Let her try different things - dancing, singing, drawing, embroidery, knitting. Let her choose what is close to her. Let her start new things, let her give up old ones.

The main thing for a girl is to maintain her creative spirit. And not get a diploma in music and art school, category in gymnastics and win in dancing. Let her be creative not for the sake of the result, but while enjoying the process. Do not expect usefulness, completeness, success or diplomas from these hobbies. And you will see how her eyes will sparkle with joy.

And as the girl grows, don’t make creativity a taboo. After all, what we easily allow children to do at the age of five to ten is already considered “a waste of time” and a “waste of time” at fifteen. Creativity for her will not necessarily become a profession. This will be her way of living different situations, relieve stress, explore the world and yourself, open your heart. And not only that.

Be sure to protect. From hooligans and unkind people. From those who undermine her self-confidence. From attacks at school, don’t expect her to sort it out on her own. So she will only withdraw into herself or learn to fight and survive. Do you need it? From harmful influence strange people- It would be good to know with whom your daughter communicates, to whom she listens. From the unnecessary temptations of this world. From night walks alone. From the dirt that is enough in the world. From excess load on her psyche. From beatings and punishments, screams and insults. From huge expectations – yours, by the way. Because of excessive housework, she still has to spend the rest of her life washing, ironing and cooking. From excessive responsibility, especially for younger brothers and sisters. From yours negative emotions, with which you can easily break it. From your quarrels with your husband and daughter’s father. From your difficulties at work. From your unfulfilled dreams that you so want to realize at her expense.

If a girl grows up in an atmosphere of love and care, like in a greenhouse, it will be easier for her to build relationships in the future. She will be able to maintain her purity, vulnerability, naivety, modesty. Remember that women used to be protected all their lives - first by their father, then by their husband, then by their son. It was scary and stupid if a woman was suddenly left alone with everything that was happening around her. And the first stage - the stage of child protection - is one of the most important. It is basic, fundamental.

Let's return to the topic of praise. As I already said, a girl can and should be praised. As often as possible. But it is also very important to understand the difference - how to praise. We encourage boys to be active, so we praise them only for their actions. That is, not “you are so strong,” but “you helped dad so much with these heavy bags.” Or not “you are so caring”, but “you made such a cool bird feeder!” In this way, the boy sets himself up for a life full of important things.

If we do the same with a girl (and we usually do this), then the girl will begin to live in the model “you just can’t love me like that.” And she will begin to deserve love in different ways. This is convenient for parents - she will do a lot of things both at home and at school. But for the girl herself, it couldn’t be worse. She can never be satisfied with what is done. She will find it difficult to accept love and attention. She will sincerely believe that she should sleep with everyone who paid her bill at the cafe. And so on.

The girl just needs to be watered. Tell her about her qualities. Tell her that she is smart, beautiful, kind, affectionate, talented. Just like that. Not tied to results, activities, actions. So that it focuses not on actions, not on results, but on qualities and processes.

And hug her more often, envelop her with tenderness, touch with love!

And this point, as always, is the most important. It doesn't matter what you say, it matters what you do. If you talk about respect for men, but call your husband by his last name, she will learn exactly that - to treat men with condescension. When you talk about creativity, but you yourself are plowing unloved job, don’t take care of yourself and don’t have a hobby - it will absorb your model of attitude towards life. If you smoke, then what kind of cleanliness can we talk about for your daughter? And so on.

Children hear what we say, but they follow what they see. This is an excellent reason to start changing yourself in order to become the kind of woman you would like to see your daughter in twenty or thirty years.

So that she understands why she needs all this. Why should she maintain her purity, why should she develop creativity, why should she build relationships. If she sees an example of a happy mother, this question does not arise. And if this happy mom At the same time, she is also adored by the best father in the world - then the girl has no other options. Her heart will strive along the path illuminated by you - and this best form protection for the girl.

I have confidence that all this is important for every baby. The little one you hold by the hand, put to sleep in your arms, or the one with whom you now talk about life. And this is no less important for the little one inside you. She most likely missed something. And this means that you can adopt her - and love her and spoil her. Buy her Cinderella shoes, take her to dances, praise her a lot, create anew for her good image her father...