What to do if you are afraid to make phone calls. Fear of talking on the phone: how to get rid of a phobia

Fear of calling a potential client, a job advertisement, a hospital, strangers– who among us has not ever experienced this feeling? Modern psychologists They even managed to come up with a special term: “telephonophobia”, which, by the way, has already become firmly in fashion. We are afraid to call our neighbors and relatives with requests, we are afraid to invite someone we are interested in on a date, to dinner in a restaurant or a business meeting.

Why is this happening?

The first and most obvious reason The origin of the fear of telephone calls is connected, as strange as it may sound, with the spread of so-called “virtual communication”. It would seem that just recently mobile phones appeared, which should, on the contrary, encourage us to actively call each other and not be afraid to do so. But the fact is that people are used to using mobile devices also for writing. Today, in the age of the Internet, we try to write more often than call and get used to correspondence rather than voice communication. Therefore, there is a natural fear of calls.

The second reason is determined by the negative scenarios that many draw in their heads before the call. They haven’t called yet, but they already predicted in advance what would happen. As in the joke: now I’ll knock on her door, she’ll open the door and invite her for tea, then we’ll go to bed, she’ll get pregnant, and I’ll have to marry her! It’s the same here – we program ourselves in advance for failure. But why?

It is worth noting that this feature is characteristic, first of all, of suspicious and anxious individuals, with low self-esteem, who are afraid of being rejected. They don't want to pick up the phone and dial the number because they are afraid of anger or simply not answering on the other end of the line.

They mistakenly attribute the inadequate reaction of their interlocutor to themselves. Whereas in reality, the cause, as a rule, is external. A person may just be nervous, or he is busy and hasn’t gotten enough sleep, and he would respond to someone else in exactly the same way. Remember that happy man He is always friendly and will be glad to receive your call at any time of the day.

The third reason is fear of action, which is typical primarily for passive and. It is treated simply: by the action itself. Call. And even if they don’t answer you, you will immediately notice that the fear has already passed. Resetting your dial tone does not mean that they do not want to talk to you. Will free time and the possibility that they will call you back.

Often the fear of calling arises for another reason - you don’t know what you can talk about on the phone. The indicated disadvantage traditionally associated with underdeveloped social skills. Read on to find out how to solve this problem.

If the call is personal, it is useful to completely forget about yourself before the conversation and take the place of the interlocutor. Imagine how the person spent today, what events he might have had at work, whether he returned home tired, what he did after work in the evening. Think about whether he really enjoys your company - and only then decide whether to call.

If you want to call about a job ad, first make a list of questions you plan to ask the manager. Just in case, also come up with a couple of help phrases so that you can stall for time when unexpected questions arise. Finally, make a few preliminary calibration calls, say, to friends or family, this will reduce the fear of calling your employer.

A very important point. Try to start any telephone conversation in a friendly, calm and friendly tone. When starting a conversation, ask “how are you?”, think in advance about what you can ask your interlocutor, what compliments you can give him. Girls in particular like it when people refer to them pleasant voice, and for young people - how interesting they speak.

If you have difficulty writing questions, read the book “How to Find Out Absolutely Everything About Any Person. 2000 questions for the best interlocutor in the world.” Author – Anna Sergeeva.

Remember that fear of a call is natural. All people without exception experience it. We're all in to a certain extent getting excited in the process telephone conversations, especially with strangers. This is fine.

State the purpose of the call if a short conversation is planned. Repeat it to yourself several times. This will help reduce anxiety during a conversation and tune in to the right wave.

Exercise regularly. Call every day for any questions - reference services, organizations, the library, advertisements, etc. This, firstly, will allow you to develop conversation skills, and secondly, it will make telephone conversations more familiar to you.

Before making calls, do the exercise “ Deep breathing" Inhale deeply, hold your breath, and on a count of 6 or 8, exhale slowly. Repeat the cycle several times.

Call time. To ensure that you do not run into a “message”, observe telephone etiquette. On weekdays, calls are allowed from 8.00 to 22.00. On weekends - after 10.00. But if you want to disturb a person who has small children living in the house, it is better to answer the phone no later than 21.00. At a later time, you can only call very close people (friends, relatives), and only for urgent needs. And don't forget that most people are more comfortable speaking during their lunch break.

Record the result of each call. Both successful and unsuccessful. This will help you avoid repeating mistakes and draw important and useful conclusions for the future.

“I’m afraid to talk on the phone” - if this phrase is familiar to you, then this article is what you were looking for. You will learn for what reasons such a phobia may develop. You will learn valuable tips on how to cope with such fears.

Reasons

There is a reason why a woman or man is afraid to call or communicate with strangers on the phone. The appearance of such fear is influenced by a number of factors. We will look at the main ones.

1. Fear that the interlocutor will begin to speak negatively and be rude.
2. Self-doubt, fear that you won’t be able to formulate your thoughts correctly.
3. Lack of ability to maintain the thread of a conversation. Characteristic at .
4. The problem of communication in the absence visual contact.
5. Availability negative experience in the past. For example, a difficult conversation took place earlier, the person was rude, threatened or abandoned via a phone call.
6. Lack of practice. A person may be afraid because this type of communication has rarely occurred.
7. A person is afraid to call about work because he is very worried. It's hard to maintain communication when you don't see how the other person reacts to your words. And this is sometimes very important when applying for a new place. In addition, you may experience great fear that you will not be able to make the right impression on your employer over the phone. There is also a risk that the applicant will become confused and will not be able to answer the questions asked correctly.

Possible difficulties

IN modern world The inability to talk on the phone significantly impairs the quality of life. Let's look at what exactly awaits you by avoiding such communication.

1. Business opportunities are significantly reduced.
2. Missing vital calls.
3. A constant feeling of anxiety when your mobile phone rings causes persistent stress.

Conversation rules

1. When talking on the phone, you need to support correct intonation. It is she who conveys your mood.
2. Avoid the habit of interrupting your interlocutor. Try to match his speaking speed.
3. If they called you at the wrong time, don’t be afraid to say so, ask to call back after a certain time.
4. If you didn’t hear something during the conversation or misunderstood it, it’s better to ask again. Especially if the call was for work.
5. If you accidentally dropped a call or accidentally hung up during a call, don’t be afraid to call back, apologize and continue the conversation.

What to do

1. First of all, you need to determine what exactly scares you when you dial a phone number.
2. Determine the benefit of being able to talk without face-to-face contact.
3. Even a conversation with aggression should not upset you if you are talking with stranger. This is his problem, since he is so ill-mannered. Realize that you won’t have to talk to him anymore, don’t take his statements to heart.
4. If you have to business conversation If you are worried that you will forget something or say the wrong thing, then prepare the text of your speech in advance.
5. Don’t forget to start the conversation with a greeting, followed by prepared questions, and then a farewell with wishes for a good day.
6. You can take care of creating certain phrases that will help in cases where you are caught unexpected question. This way you can stall for time.
7. You can practice your speech before the call. For example, talk with your mobile phone turned off.
8. Alternatively, in order to give yourself confidence, you can record your speech on a voice recorder. Then listen to it, make sure everything sounds correct and beautiful. If necessary, correct it.
9. Before you call, have a piece of paper and pen ready in case you have to write something down.

There was a time in my life when I was worried about how and what to say on the phone. When I was expecting an important call, I almost jumped from nervous tension when the call came. In addition to the fear of being misunderstood or saying the wrong thing, I was upset by the lack of visual contact with the interlocutor. Working on myself helped me cope with my worries.

To avoid the thought “I’m afraid to call people,” you need to practice as often as possible.

1. To make it easier for you, start by calling relatives, then move on to friends. When you have to make an important business conversation on the phone, you won’t be afraid anymore.
2. If you have difficulty speaking because you can’t see your interlocutor, you can mentally imagine what he looks like. Alternatively, you can talk on the phone in front of a mirror.
3. When you are about to make a call, smile. Of course, no one will see you, but this way you will be able to relax and the tension will subside.
4. If you have had a traumatic conversation in the past, you need to realize that not every conversation will end this way. Perhaps this will never happen again in my entire life. And if it happens, not necessarily during a telephone conversation, maybe during a personal conversation. There is no need to be afraid to live. And if it is very difficult to control yourself and survive a past trauma, then you should turn to a specialist for qualified help.
5. If, while dialing a phone number, you are too tense and feel seriously anxious, you can practice self-hypnosis. Your task is to convince yourself that you are not afraid of anything, try to relax, close your eyes, breathe deeply, imagine how confidently you are talking to your interlocutor without seeing him.
6. Before making a call, make sure that there are no distractions. Make sure children do not enter the room, turn off the TV.
7. Prepare yourself in advance for the fact that the answer at the other end of the line may not be the person you are calling or even an answering machine. Think about what you need to say.
8. It is recommended not to drink before the call large number water. Excitement may cause your throat to become dry.
9. Before calling, clear your throat and say something out loud. Make sure your voice sounds correctly and is not hoarse from nerves.
10. Don't think that you are the only one who is nervous when making a call. It is possible that the interlocutor is also worried.

Now you know what to do if you are worried about the problem “I’m afraid to call on the phone.” Try to find strength within yourself and overcome your fear. You must understand that in the modern world you cannot do without this method of communication. If the problem lies in previous stress, then consulting a psychologist will be better.

Statistics say: about 80% of managers are afraid to call a client for the first time. Still, he knows nothing about you and your company, and you know little about him. It is natural to feel fear of the unknown, but in order to minimize it, you need to work on confidence in yourself and in your business. A special cold calling technique, which has professional, practical and psychological aspects, will help you cope with anxiety.

Tune in for the best
Instead of tormenting yourself with doubts, you need to have the right mindset for cold calling. You should not obviously perceive communication “blindly” as a failure. Scientists from all countries say: thoughts are material. The logic here is simple - cheerful thoughts attract good clients and successful transactions. Even if communication turns out to be a failure, take it as useful experience. The more experience, the more confident you feel. For a call manager, this is strategic advice, but there are a few other tricks that will help you get rid of fear and make smart sales calls over the phone.

Recommendation #2
Listen to recordings of phone calls, pay attention to errors and draw conclusions. Using recordings, it is convenient to study your intonation and manner of communication in general. In addition, you will have time to come up with more appropriate answers to the client’s questions and objections, which will certainly come in handy next time.

Recommendation #3
Compile a statistical report on own work. Record the number of calls made, describe the steps that became a turning point in the successful conclusion of the deal. Using this approach, a complete and clear picture of the pros and cons of your cold calling technique is formed.

Recommendation #4
Imagine! Imagine a pleasant interlocutor. For example, a middle-aged man in a sweater and glasses, who today, right after work, is going to attend the first performance of his musician son on the big stage, etc. By inventing an image of a person and the story of his life, you will get an interlocutor who is attractive to you. Even if he refuses to communicate and is rude, you can always attribute this to the fact that the client is simply in a hurry to get to his beloved son. Surely the interlocutor will notice your goodwill and show loyalty.

Recommendation #5
Convince yourself that the upcoming call is justified. You can motivate yourself by the fact that there is no one else to do this but you. Or, if you call to find out something from the secretary, then keep in mind that this is why he works, so that people contact him regarding coordination issues.

Recommendation #6
Work with a mirror. To make your interlocutor like your voice during a cold call, smile at your reflection in the mirror. You need to ensure that your voice sounds clear, measured, cheerful and “smiling”. Oddly enough, but if the person on the other end of the line smiles, it is audible and it is attractive. Smiling relaxes the muscles of the larynx, which makes speech soft and pleasant to hear.

Cold call script
So, you are optimistic, but for some reason you still feel the fear of cold calling. The final step in overcoming it is to develop a communication script. It is advisable to write a cold calling script yourself, based on collected information about the company and the client, as well as about your own product/service. A pre-prepared script will add confidence to you. At the beginning of the conversation, put a plan in front of you, then the communication will be decisive, bold and convincing.

Typically, all scripts consist of the following items:

1. Purpose of the call.
Be clear about the purpose of the conversation. For example, get contact information about a client, find out about his needs, find out the buyer’s opinion (about competitors, industry or products), talk about new products from your company, arrange a meeting or just get acquainted.

Informing cosmetics manufacturers about the existence of our state-of-the-art equipment.

2. Walking around the secretary.
Often the manager does not know the direct telephone number of the person who makes purchasing decisions in the company. You have to find out this from the secretary, administrator, seller or manager. Communication with them must be related to the purpose of the call.

Try not to use long titles companies, do not burden the secretary with your surname and patronymic and do not start a conversation with the phrase “bothers you.”

D Hello, we are selecting several leading manufacturers from the cosmetics industry to test new equipment. Who is responsible for the technological cycle of cosmetics production?

3. Clarification of information.
Make sure you are talking to the right person making purchasing decisions.

-Good afternoon, we have developed new equipment for the production of cosmetics. Viktor Pavlovich, can you evaluate the efficiency of the technological cycle for the production of cosmetics?

4. Opening.
The conversation with the purchasing decision maker is the most important part of the telesales process and will determine the future relationship with the client and the success of the collaboration. From the very first seconds of the conversation, adapt to the potential buyer’s communication style (his speed of pronunciation of words, volume and timbre of his voice).

If your interlocutor is rude and responds with harsh phrases, try to change him into the right emotional mood with the help of jokes, compliments or confidential intonation.

Put yourself in the shoes of the person you are about to call and try to think like him. This way, you can go beyond the usual sales field. Imagine that you are a potential client, you pick up the phone and hear: “Hello, my name is Daria, I am from the Alex and Partners company, would you have a few minutes to talk with me?” Surely you will think: “Another seller! How can I get rid of him!” We offer a better option, which works in most cases:

- Good afternoon My name is Daria and I am glad that I was able to reach you. Can I ask you for help?

5. Client potential.
At the beginning of a cold call, find out whether your interlocutor needs the product offered at all. This way you can immediately determine what the chances are of concluding a deal.

- Does your equipment now cope with the flow of orders? Are you planning to expand production or is it more advisable to replace worn-out equipment?

6. Presentation.
Tell your interlocutor only about the target action that you want to achieve from him (meeting, information, invitation to an event, etc.).

-At the presentation of cosmetic equipment you will see latest developments this industry, evaluate its effectiveness and even better understand the real potential for growth of your company.

7. Fighting objections.
Translate all the doubts that prevent the client from completing a transaction into advantages of your offer. Remember your goal and go towards it, getting the buyer to answer your main question.

-I don't have time to go to presentations.

- By attending the presentation, you look into the future and in the future you will be able to globally save time on solving a lot of technical issues related to servicing the cosmetics production line. After spending just a couple of hours on the presentation, you will understand how to optimize your workflow.

7. Leading up to the deal.
If the client finds your proposal interesting, agree with him on the next action or immediately proceed to drawing up the contract.

- Which line of equipment are you primarily interested in? I will agree with our specialists to prepare the equipment for a more detailed demonstration especially for you.

If the cold calling scheme you wrote gave results, it means that the script was compiled correctly and can be used as a model in further communication with clients.

Illustration copyright Getty Images

Do you panic when you hear your phone ringing? Terrified at the mere thought of calling someone? The observer knows what to do.

Today we rarely part with mobile phone, but many people still experience a genuine and deep fear of phone calls.

Telephobia, recognized as a type of social anxiety disorder, is experienced by people different generations and from different countries.

Those who suffer from telephobia can comfortably give a speech in front of a huge room full of strangers or send dozens of text messages a day, but shudder in horror when they have to make a simple phone call.

"For many people, talking on the phone is a special complex look communication,” says Jill Eisenstadt, vice president of Joyable, an online counseling company. “You need to think quickly and respond immediately to the words of the interlocutor.”

You need to think quickly about everything and immediately respond to the words of your interlocutor

Modern technologies, which have created conditions for indirect communication, to a certain extent mask the problem of telephobia. As a result, it becomes more difficult to detect, and therefore there are no accurate data on the prevalence of telephobia.

However, fear of talking on the phone can have an extremely negative impact on productivity and labor mobility.

“Some of our clients fail to achieve success in their careers because they are afraid to communicate with other people,” says Eisenstadt. “They avoid conversations until the last minute.”

Stupid look

Telephobia as a phenomenon arose long before the advent of smartphones.

George Dudley and Shannon Goodson wrote the book The Psychology of Fear: Why People Are Afraid to Call Customers back in 1986.

And in 1929, the British poet and writer Robert Graves wrote in his autobiography that he developed a deep fear of using the telephone after being wounded during the First World War.

It's not about the phone itself, it's about communication

Eisenstadt is familiar with more recent cases of telephobia. The phone makes her patients anxious for a variety of reasons.

“It’s not about the phone itself, but about communication,” she says. “For some clients, talking on the phone is an extra risk of blurting out something unnecessary.”

One 27-year-old Eisenstadt patient, who works in sales, is afraid that she will start to stammer or pause too long in a conversation and thereby make herself look bad. at its best in front of clients and colleagues.

Another patient, a 52-year-old financial consultant, also worries about looking stupid on the phone.

Now she communicates with clients only by email to be able to compose a competent answer and double-check it.

Sales trainer Jeff Shore says many sales professionals are afraid to make so-called cold calls because they don't want to seem intrusive to potential clients.

With the advent of telephone marketing, the telephone began to be seen as a nuisance that could disrupt a family dinner or distract a person from a favorite activity.

Shore says those he works with are afraid of irritating the person on the other end of the line.

"Sales people say, 'These calls are annoying and I don't want to get them or make them myself,'" he says.

Differences in cultural norms

According to Michael Landers, global director of Culture Crossing, which provides group and individual consultations on questions intercultural communication, in some cultures people are wary of phone calls.

Phone anxiety across cultures is closely linked to fear of rejection.

“The Japanese, for example, find it difficult to decide to have a conversation with a stranger - they are afraid of offending the interlocutor or losing face,” explains Landers.

In Indonesia, where the average person sends about a hundred text messages a day, this method of communication is simply considered more convenient than phone calls.

According to Landers, fear of the phone across cultures is closely related to the fear of being rejected, regardless of whether the issue being discussed is setting up a meeting or closing a deal.

“I don’t know of any culture that welcomes refusal,” he says. “However, everyone’s understanding of refusal is different.”

Acquire a skill

To help their patients cope with their fear of the phone, many psychotherapists use cognitive behavioral therapy methods.

Eisenstadt asks patients to describe anxious thoughts problems they have in connection with telephone conversations, and discusses with them the worst case scenarios.

"We help them understand that it's not scary or dangerous," she says.

Over time, they get into practice and start making small calls - for example, ordering pizza.

He also advises understanding for yourself how the caller can be useful to the person on the other end of the line.

"The most important thing is to have the right motivation", he says. When a sales professional understands how he can help a prospect, it becomes easier for him to make those cold calls.

"When you discover that your worst fears are not realized, your perception of cold calling changes," Shore explains.

And if a person himself does not understand what the benefit of his call is, there is no point in calling at all.

Telephobia is most often studied in sales professionals, but it affects people in a variety of professions, from journalists and public relations specialists to secretaries, lawyers, consultants and many other workers who have to receive and make calls as part of their job duties.

Telephobia can even prevent you from getting a job if a job candidate panics at the thought of a telephone interview.

Sometimes managers have to adapt to the habits of their employees.

Molly Irani is the director of hospitality at Chai Pani Restaurant Group, which owns restaurants in Asheville, State. North Carolina, and Atlanta, Georgia.

She says the company employs 180 people, but Irani can count the number of people who answer her call on one hand.

She says she's gotten used to texting employees, many of whom are under 35.

Irani understands his colleagues' dislike of the phone. A call can take you by surprise when you are simply not ready to talk to anyone.

She says a lot has changed now and her younger employees can avoid awkward situations, arising from telephone conversations, thanks to numerous alternative means of communication.

“Many of us have experienced this resentment, but we had no choice but to overcome it,” says Irani. “We have acquired this skill, but the new generation does not have to do it.”

Five ways to cope with telephobia

• Think about the worst case scenario - usually things are not as bad as you think.
• Think about why you need a call - to inform a client or get important information?
• Think in advance about how you will start and end the conversation - ending a conversation gracefully is often the hardest thing to do.
• To practice, start with small calls that don't involve major risks - for example, calling a food delivery service.
• Remember that no one expects you to be perfect in everything.

When I was young, it was incredibly difficult for me to call strangers at unfamiliar company with some suggestions. But, as they say, life forced me. But now I can call, even the president. Not without excitement, of course, but without fear. Do you want me to tell you how?

Why complicate your life?

Can you imagine a journalist who is afraid to pick up the phone and call the right company for necessary information? But there are such workers. At least there was definitely one like this before.

In front of me was a list of companies, phone numbers, and names of contact persons. And under the table I wiped my sweaty palms on my knees, trying not to look at the phone. I periodically made notes on the list so that the secretary, who simply did not let go of the phone, would not notice my excitement.

My rules

1. They knock out a wedge with a wedge. In this case, the rule works more flawlessly than ever. The more and more often I called, the easier it was for me. You are especially quick to decide to pick up the phone and dial a number under stress.

When you have to write news in a magazine within an hour and submit it for layout, then fear recedes in front of the huge and scorching DO! Once, after another emergency, I noticed to the editor that I was already sweating while I was solving the problem. To which she received a phlegmatic answer: “I haven’t sweated for a long time.”

2. Coping with anxiety. Of course, no one will see your trembling fingers on the other end of the line, but your voice can give it away. And something needs to be done about this. A wonderful remedy is to do push-ups and squats. The body adapts to completely different tasks and throws all its internal resources at them.

When breathing is restored, you can sit down and make a call. For moral support you can keep a ring of a hand expander nearby and squeeze it in moments of extreme excitement.


3. Make a plan for the conversation and take notes during it. Sometimes, out of excitement, even the basic “Hello, my name is so-and-so, I represent such-and-such a company, who can I talk to about such-and-such?” Therefore, it is better to keep the text before your eyes.

So are all the questions that need to be asked. Up to their various options, depending on what direction the conversation will flow into. At this stage, you are faced with the very essence of the fear of telephone conversations - how not to mess up, not to look stupid and incompetent.

In this case, the attitude that we all make mistakes worked well for me. We can't be experts in all areas, so we'll still ask naive questions people who know this or that area by heart. Therefore, you need to be able to honestly admit to yourself and the person on the phone that you don’t understand some question.

4. Be prepared to be sent. Situations may be different. In humans Bad mood, well-being, there is a rush at the workplace and he simply has no time for you. Of course, there are also inappropriate people, or those who like to tease you, feeling your incompetence. But this has nothing to do with your personality - you are still a wonderful person.

Representatives of a mobile operator have been calling me for a year now, offering to switch to their Internet. I'm really tired of hearing every time about their wonderful conditions, which for me personally mean nothing better than that, what is now. I'm tired of turning them down. And when they call during a child’s tantrum, I’m ready to swear, and dirty.

But the manager at the other end of the line calls me for the first time, with good intentions and he’s not guilty of anything - that’s his job. In general, you need to be prepared for the fact that your call will not be welcomed at all, which will be reported in a harsh manner.

These are the rules of telephone conversations that I have learned for myself through experience. I hope someone finds it useful. Or has the telephone never been a monster for you?

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