Tips on how to start loving yourself. How to learn to love yourself: recommendations from a psychologist

Truly loving yourself and your body is essential to feeling inner world and harmony. We often watch movie stars who are super attractive, have a sense of self-confidence, and command admiration and respect. IN Everyday life We also meet such people. How do they do this? What is the secret of their success?

It's time to believe that you, too, have a right to respect: your body is worth your attention, and you are worthy of self-care. It's about about self-love and how to love yourself. And for this you don’t have to be a movie star or have millions in your account. Where should you start? We offer 5 simple tips to love yourself, which will help you achieve amazing results.

This is the most big mistake every woman. Of course, there will always be another who has better hair, a slimmer body, better teeth, taller, and the list goes on. The reality is that even those labeled “ideal body” in the media, one way or another, remain dissatisfied with their body and themselves, and find flaws that they do not like. So no matter how close to perfect your body is, there will always be something you would change if given the chance.

All people, without exception, are beautiful in their own uniqueness, so instead of being jealous of other women of your man and getting stuck in the comparison game, you should initially love yourself, become stronger and attract more attention to your strengths. As women, you need to start working as a supporting team and not against each other. Self-confidence is the most attractive, sexy quality you can have in any way. So be proud of what you have!

Proof: Did you know that most of the images you see in magazines, on television and in movies are not real? Professional stylists and makeup artists work for hours on a magazine cover model, creating her image, which is then worked on by leading photographers who know her “ best sides"and using professional lighting. After this, the work undergoes professional computer processing, where wrinkles, spots, imperfections, and stray hair are eliminated. So don’t even bother comparing your beautiful, true self with these fake images, the image of which is completely artificial.

Your past experience, your beliefs about yourself, what you tell yourself and what others have said about you in the past can have a destructive effect on you. This does not mean that others control your life, although your subconscious mind is always listening and executing the unconscious programs that you work out in life. So everything you tell yourself, in your mind, about your body and who you are as a person is very important: loving, forgiving, supportive. Your subconscious mind will control your happiness if you allow it, and what you tell yourself will become your reality.

How to love yourself: practice of working with a mirror

“I love you”, “Thank you for being mine best friend and I can count on you,” “I love and accept you completely and completely.” Positive Affirmations

It's amazing how Louise Hay uses mirror work in her practice. It's a powerful technique for breaking destructive self-talk, and it's also a fantastic way to really start loving yourself. Louise Hay claims that when looking at yourself in the mirror every day, you need to look straight into your eyes and repeat the phrase: “I love you”, “Thank you for being my best friend and I can count on you”, “I I love and accept you completely and completely.”

Perhaps practicing mirror work will make you (like most people) smile and feel embarrassed. It really seems difficult to do and awkward to look stupid. It will take time to move past some shame to begin to believe what you are saying. Once you get used to it, you will see a huge difference in your life, how your thinking process, you become more positive, your level of happiness increases, and you can’t help but notice how other people react to you. Also, when a negative thought about yourself enters your head, do deep breath, release her, and repeat the positive affirmation described above.

Your body is a miracle! Every minute, millions of microscopic functions taking place in your body without any thought are involved in the processes that keep you alive. They just happen. Your body is so amazing, and instead of worrying about how big your thighs are, be grateful that you walk, run, move in the world. Instead of worrying about how flabby your arms are, thank them for being able to get things done so you can hug your kids or pets.

After all, your body is a treasure! Don't waste your precious time worrying about the weight, shape and size of your body. Focus now on your purpose in life. By experiencing gratitude for your body as a miracle, you will begin to enjoy it and treat it with care.

The formula is simple: when you love your body, you strive for the proper healing process. If you're only busy punishing your body with exercises you don't enjoy or talking about yourself in a negative manner (too fat or too unhealthy), then you're not pampering yourself, having compassion, or respecting yourself. Instead, when choosing food, try to think about what your body wants, because it needs fuel to feel good. When you eat nutritious food, you always feel better and you also eliminate the possibility of illness and poor health.

So, you need to exercise to relieve daily stress, release endorphins, overcome anxiety and feel good. Eat alkaline and rich nutrients food, . Meditate to get in touch with your emotions, to connect to the bigger picture, and to feel at one with the world.

Pay attention to what your body is telling you. After all, it’s not enough to simply put stress on the body. Keep a close eye on your body's reaction to external factors. If after training you feel great, then it is quite possible to increase the load or training time. If your intestines do not react well to certain foods, then reduce or eliminate them from your diet. It's quite simple. You are given one body in life, so why not treat it with love and respect.

Our final piece of advice is the importance of loving your body, not just for yourself, but for the next generation of people. We all know how parents behave as role models for children. Remember, how you feel about your appearance and how you see yourself will shape how they feel about themselves as they grow older. Do you want your daughter or son to look in the mirror and criticize themselves and their body every day? If not, then it is important that you do not engage in such behavior. Apparently, who we are as people and how we participate in the world is a much stronger predictor of how our children turn out than what we know about raising children. The same rules apply to body image, so set big rule be a role model for your children.

As you can see, in order to start radiating love and confidence, you need to start working on it. How to love yourself and your body?

From now on, starting with these 5 steps on the path to loving yourself, you:

• Stop comparing yourself to others and getting carried away external signs and want to get the perfect appearance, which, as we found out, does not exist.
• Rid yourself of negative self-talk by practicing mirror work every day.
• You will be grateful to your body. Don't wait for a dying wake-up call.
• Your true focus on health and activity makes you feel and hear yourself.
• You will be much more motivated to stay on track. healthy eating and exercise, with this gratitude.

This new way look at and physical exercise as something wonderful that you do for yourself. You must remember, when you decide to love yourself, you choose the best option to radiate attractiveness and confidence that will not go unnoticed.

Where to start or how to learn to love yourself is the first thing a new happy life begins with.Increased self-esteem. At the end of the article there is something to keep in mind for yourself.

Welcome friends to the site, today is about self-love. Loving yourself turns out to be not so easy at all; this article only gives directions on where to look and what you should pay attention to. Self-love is where any person needs to start. This is the beginning of relationships with people and in life itself and within the family.

Success or failure in life largely depends directly on how much we love ourselves, our internal state cannot be harmonious without accepting oneself as the present, and it is impossible to have a full-fledged development person's personality, without love and respect for yourself.

A simple example: a person’s self-esteem changes throughout life, at some point, for some of his actions or having learned to value himself, a person somewhere consciously, somewhere not, begins to think about quitting smoking (and he smoked all his life). Growing self-esteem begins to influence him, push him and help him in his actions. The opposite option, quitting smoking in order to gain self-respect, often does not give results.

But you really need to learn this, especially if you understand that you are not satisfied with your life, and here, first of all, you need to start with self-love. Many reasons influence our respect and love for ourselves and the world around us. One of these
, this is criticism directed at oneself and self-examination. After all, many simply engage in self-flagellation, scolding them for every little thing, blaming them for trifles, but in order to praise themselves, a lot of problems arise with this.

It seems to a person that if he had achieved something else, then he could say to himself “well done” and rejoice at it. But why prohibit yourself from enjoying yourself already? Now?

Many people realize that their feelings of self-pleasure, joy and enjoyment of life are hampered by shortcomings on which all attention is concentrated and, as a consequence, a lack of self-love.

Think for yourself where love will come from if your entire inner space is filled with self-criticism and self-analysis of dissatisfaction with yourself and not only with yourself, but also with those around you. If you are determined to search within yourself, you will only look for the bad in other people. Where then does trust, positivity and love, which are so important in relationships, come from?

So how to learn to love yourself, where to start

It is very important, having answered the question, to understand for yourself and as early as possible what is more profitable - to praise and support yourself internally or to scold and engage in self-flagellation? Do you feel good when you look for and actively nurture your shortcomings? Does this help you in life?

Many people love to look back into their past and look for negative thoughts about oneself, which were often formed in childhood or appeared in adult life. This negative experience the past certainly puts pressure on a person and affects his present and future.

So should you contact him if you want another, more happy life? By the way, you can read about this and other things in the article "". You need to accept the experience in order to use it in the future to avoid similar mistakes, but you cannot blame yourself for it.

Straight from today stop looking back, what happened was. Get started gradually fill yourself and your life with something new, - positive views, self-confidence and love. Love first of all for YOURSELF. Eat simple words things you need to tell yourself every day:

• Great, I can do this, I’m not bad at it
• I don't look bad at all, I just look great no matter what
• What a great time I had with my friends yesterday, we had a good chat
• It's cold and rainy outside, and now I'm drinking hot, delicious coffee - you need to learn to enjoy any little things and feel them well.

Look for other words of encouragement and support for yourself pleasant trifles life, they are in everything, you just need to look closely. And stop when you catch yourself thinking, “I’m doing something wrong,” “there’s something bad with me,” get used to a different way of thinking, tell yourself, “everything is fine with me, everything is fine.” At first, such a thought will calm you down, and after a while it will give you pleasant emotions, joy, and along with them, the necessary energy.

Some may say, this is all clear, but it’s much more difficult to do - Yes, it’s more difficult to do, but very often a person is mistaken only in what he is looking for complex decisions, he is tuned in to obstacles, it seems to him that any achievement is necessarily associated with many difficulties and problems, this is a delusion.

As long as you think so, We are sure of this, your life will be accompanied by numerous obstacles. Often everything is much simpler than it seems, and a lot is achieved simple solutions and actions, do not complicate life for yourself, it is not easy anyway. You found out something, decided, and just do it without straining yourself. It is very important not to make extra efforts, not to try, you just need to take it and do it.

This is a simple example: These are our actions, the actions of adults, they are not like the actions of a child. When an adult does something, he is pursuing some kind of specific goal, all his actions are accompanied by the thought of a goal.

The child does not just pursue the goal itself, the child is primarily interested in the process itself, his actions are not accompanied by the thought of doing something complete, he is interested in the very pleasure that he receives in the process - this is what he needs to start from, without thinking about the final goals. It will be achieved, but without unnecessary hassle and difficulties. Good luck!

And in order to begin to deeply understand yourself and solve your internal problems which so prevent us from loving ourselves, I recommend the article. There will be very important points about your attitude towards yourself and life in general.

The theme of self-criticism, self-flagellation, fear of error and striving for the ideal in everything has been familiar to me since childhood, as, I think, to all of us. We were scolded for spilled milk, torn pants, low grades and unwashed dishes.

And although parents, from the height of their own parental experience, can be understood, and teachers generally have a hard and thankless job, this does not cancel the problem: sensitive people, and especially believers, suffer greatly from feelings of guilt, shame, lack of confidence in their capabilities, and Scolding oneself is considered almost the daily duty of every Christian.

Is it possible not to scold yourself for mistakes - or even learn to love them and see something valuable in them?

The fear of failing, of doing something wrong, of not being accepted, of being rejected, of not being liked, of feeling stupid - these are the things that separate us from perhaps the most beautiful things in our lives. The question - what would happen if I then... will still remain and will torment. But the method of closing your eyes and jumping also has its side effects.

Taking a risk and doing something wasn't for me big problem. Much bigger problem there were consequences - that is, the result obtained and the assessment by others of my actions. Those who have this problem know that worries can cause you to fall out of life. usual course life, and become seriously ill - at least for a couple of weeks with something like ARVI. You start to lash out at your loved ones, and in general, life stops making you happy. And the next time you are already afraid and think 10 times before taking a risk, fearing the consequences of risky actions.

When I learned to restore myself regardless of the result, much of what I dreamed of came true! A negative result most often protected me from something unnecessary and opened the way to something much more wonderful. An error occurred - thank you, Lord, you showed me that something different is needed. Or you just need to try again and again.

It is also important to understand that all events in our lives are neutral, and only we ourselves give them a positive or negative assessment. What is a loss for us is a gain for others, what is a loss for us is a gain for others. And in the long term, it is generally unknown what is better and what is worse! We often give an event a negative assessment if we did not receive what we expected. In this case, I remember the biblical Jonah:

“And the Lord God caused a plant to grow, and it rose up over Jonah, so that there might be a shadow over his head and to deliver him from his grief; Jonah was very happy about this plant. And God arranged it so that the next day, when dawn appeared, a worm undermined the plant, and it withered. When the sun rose, God brought in a hot east wind, and the sun began to scorch Jonah’s head, so that he became exhausted, and asked for death, and said: “It is better for me to die than to live.” And God said to Jonah: Are you really so upset about the plant? He said: He was very upset, even to the point of death.”

In fact, Jonah sat on the sidelines to watch how the city would be destroyed, what a spectacle it would be, and then God made a shadow for him! Good as! Then the plant withered, and Jonah was very upset about this. It's always funny to me to think that when we don't get what we want, we're like Jonah, who was upset to death because the worm ate the plant that gave him shade.

Any mistake means we are doing something. That we do not sit still, we try, and this is already worthy of praise. And now I want to tell you step-by-step methodology working with mistakes, which helps you learn to be calmer about failure and take risks more often.

STEP 1. Admit the mistake

The first and necessary step is to admit that this happened. Yes it is. I made a mistake. Try to practice this without putting any emotion into your admission of error, just as a neutral fact.

STEP 2. Treat yourself

It’s important to nourish yourself here different ways, sparing no time and somewhere money. This is very understandable, especially when you remember how harmful self-criticism can affect life, how it can spoil our relationships, deteriorate the quality of our work and weaken our health. A bubble bath, a trip, a comedy, a manicure, barbecues in nature - any switch. Sometimes I call it “action bombing.” When you just do and do, you try different things, just so as not to sit still and suffer.

STEP 3. Think about what my contribution was

You can only think about this when you come to normal condition. Efficient Analysis differs from ineffective in whether we immediately begin to do and correct, try new things, or simply scold ourselves and forget. Why did I get exactly this result? What did I or didn’t do for this? What can I do to get a different result? This is not like the usual answer to everything: “Because there is something wrong with me.” This answer does not help us feel happier or change anything in our lives.

STEP 4. Fix

If we can't do anything to improve a situation, we can do something to compensate on a global scale. Do something good for others.

If you can do something different, then make an action plan and try something else. The main thing is to do, not think, and reward yourself for every action. This way we can become much more effective and not waste our lives on unnecessary suffering.

STEP 5. Thank the world

You have gained the most valuable experience - you know what will happen if you do this! Now you can try something different and get a different result! And repeat until victory.

If we make few mistakes, this means that we, on the contrary, limit ourselves in development, do not allow ourselves to manifest ourselves in something. Error is a normal quality of a person as a creative being. If all our attention, all our strength is aimed at not making a mistake, there will be little love, sincerity and a lot of tension in everything we do.

In a state of tension, we can bring much less benefit to the world than in a state of love. If we start not to scold ourselves for a mistake, but to encourage ourselves after making it, the results will be completely different! Watch the children - how they shrink when a mistake is pointed out to them, and how happy they are when you encourage them and notice what they are already doing.

We haven’t gotten far away from our children and are still afraid of a strict teacher - that they will fire us from work, God will punish us, life will set us up, they will find sin, illness or psychological problem. But when we begin to take everything into our own hands and do more than worry, gradually the time of suffering over a mistake becomes shorter and shorter, and you begin to really love life and God, who has arranged everything so wonderfully in this world! And who does not scold us at all for mistakes.

Love is the main thing driving force many events and processes.
Out of love for the Motherland, soldiers went into mortal combat, out of love for their mother, children sacrifice their time and energy, and out of love for the woman they love, a man can literally move mountains.

But there is another very important type of love - self-love, without which a person cannot live at all, and can only “pull the strap” of a being dissatisfied with himself.

Without thinking about how to love themselves, people have been saying for decades, some with sadness and some with a touch of bravado: “Yes, I’m fat!”, “I’m lazy,” “Well, what can you do if I’m such a loser?” . Many people consider the presence of shortcomings to be the norm, but no one can forbid you to learn to love and respect yourself, and at the same time struggle with imperfections own appearance and character. Of course, if that's what you want.

How to learn to love a reflection if in the mirror in front of you is something that, in your opinion, does not deserve love, and it is impossible to make yourself ideal?
Well, people are certainly imperfect, but isn’t the desire for perfection, albeit unattainable, worthy goal life?

Poles of the self-esteem scale

Let's imagine two. One is the one who walks with his head held high, makes eye contact, and smiles openly. It is pleasant to communicate with him, he inspires self-respect with his leisurely, balanced actions and phrases, he does not endlessly joke about his own shortcomings. This is a portrait of an individual who knows what it means to love himself, appreciate his strengths and soberly assess his shortcomings.

The second man is stooped, nervous, tired, with a haunted look and uncertain gestures. He understands that he is no longer young, ugly, overweight and other shortcomings and regularly discusses them with others. He does not understand how to love himself and does not see his merits.

Of course, these are two extremes, and most people are somewhere between the poles of an absolutely confident and completely insecure subject, but each of us involuntarily gravitates towards one side or another of the degree of self-love.

Why is it important to love yourself

We all strive for recognition, to be favorably accepted in society, because man is a social being, unadapted to life outside the circle of fellow tribesmen, in an information and communication vacuum.

Look at the images of subjects at different poles of the scale and think about which one looks more attractive to you personally: the one who loves himself, or the one who constantly remembers and talks about his shortcomings?
If a person is not able to treat himself with love, realize his worth and notice the positive, if he is sure that he has more minuses than pluses, who will love him and for what? After all, this conviction is inevitably reflected in appearance - in posture, gaze, gait and behavior.

Men are leaving gorgeous housewife wives for incompetent wives who at the same time love and value themselves and radiate it outward. Women leave rich lovers for poor, but bright and interesting young men whom they loved not for the thickness of their wallets.

A person who loves himself inevitably has self-confidence, which gives him, namely, attracts us more than the amount in the account or the ability to cook soup.

Excessive self-confidence is the other side of the coin

When starting to solve the problem of “how to learn to love yourself,” it is important not to overdo it, turning from a boring gray mouse into a peacock brimming with unhealthy narcissism.

Any extreme turns into an unhealthy phenomenon, so if blinkered, stooped people with low self-esteem evoke pity or disgust, then narcissistic “princes” with their endless selfies and glances in the mirror provoke not love, but contempt from others.

When you are given advice to “love yourself,” remember: “loving yourself” does not mean “falling in love until you lose your mind.”

A mother who loves her child excessively and forgives all his mistakes usually ends up being a boor and an egoist after a couple of decades, while strict parents who dose out love and are not afraid to use educational measures are able to raise a wonderful, loving child.

Love yourself with all your shortcomings, but be willing to correct and downplay them, work on your character, appearance, make yourself better, more beautiful and more ideal.

Love for the original self

Before you try to renew yourself, you should accept what you have at the moment.
How to love yourself and your body as it exists?
Remember: ideal people no, just like not in nature ideal gases, perfect plants and absolute symmetry. We are all weak in some way, capable of making mistakes, we have shortcomings, both external and internal, and this is not a reason for grief - it is a reason for working on ourselves.

Is it possible to learn to love yourself the way a mother loves a child if you are used to remembering your shortcomings, every mistake, long nose, the habit of pursing your lips, the inability to meet people?

Take a good look at yourself in the mirror and realize: you are unique. Even if you have a twin brother, external identity does not give complete similarity - you have different image thoughts, different feelings, desires, different abilities of cognition, and you should love this about yourself.

Start to love yourself, at least your difference from others, for the fact that you are already an individuality, already a person, and all that is needed is to polish this personality, to make a dull diamond shining with hundreds of facets as a dazzling diamond.

Home is the container of the body

In order to love yourself, you should remember: “I” does not end solely with you, your I is everything that surrounds and comes into close contact with you, influencing your appearance, state of mind, mood and character. This includes the house you live in, your social circle, the music you listen to, and much more.

The easiest place to start change is at home. Clutter around creates disorder in the soul, that's a fact.

The broken windows theory says: in a neighborhood with broken windows, the crime situation will be worse than in a neighborhood where glass is quickly replaced, graffiti is wiped off the walls, and order is maintained.

This is true for us and our homes: what order can we talk about in our heads and hearts if we are surrounded by chaos, devastation, mountains of unnecessary things, dust in the corners of rooms and unwashed dishes?

So the question “how to love yourself” should start with solving the problem of putting your apartment in order. In purity, peace is born and the need to use the freed territory for something useful and interesting, new exciting activities contribute to self-development, and the advanced version of yourself will be much easier to love than the usual one.

The body is the seat of the soul

The next step on the path to self-love in general is to put the body, as a container for the soul, in order.

As with a cluttered home, a neglected appearance excess weight, flabby muscles, a tendency to shortness of breath and an unhealthy complexion will not allow you to love yourself to the fullest.
Of course, you initially need to accept yourself as you are, and only then give yourself an incentive to love your body by taking care of yourself.

Sport is great way correct what prevents you from fully enjoying life, and then love the result. It is much easier to treat yourself with kindness if you feel progress every day, if your lungs straighten, your shoulders turn, your muscles fill with strength. In the mirror there is no longer a thin, emaciated child of the metropolis who whispers: “Love your body!” and does not believe herself. Smiling at the reflection of a stranger so similar to you with flexible joints and a blush on his cheeks is strange at first, but very pleasant - the clothes are tight beautiful shapes, people begin to look at you, but other people’s attention is an important incentive to love your body.

We love ourselves for the work we put in

When solving the problem of “How to learn to love yourself,” it is worth remembering the common phenomenon of a wife who cannot leave her disgusted husband because “I spent so many years on you.”

It is difficult for people to part with something in which they have invested a lot of effort, and this property of the psyche can be used on the way to learning to love yourself.

It is almost impossible to love yourself without self-improvement.
To love your body, go in for sports, and then you will begin to respect yourself for the amount of work you put into exercise, and more and more every year.
Any hobby, from floriculture to painting or singing, with due diligence inevitably leads to progress, and seeing this progress, you will also understand how to love yourself and for what - for perseverance, diligence and patience.

Positive traits

The task of “how to learn to love yourself” is not as difficult as it seems at first.
Each of us has, some have more, some have less, but there are no deeply negative people.

Take a piece of paper and write a list of your positive qualities.
Then ask several friends and loved ones to do the same on other sheets of paper, and then compare the results. Believe me: they will surprise you. It turns out that from the outside they find in you much more pleasant traits for which they can love you than you see in yourself. Something that is perceived as ordinary to you causes delight among friends, and the consciousness of this will tell you how to learn to love yourself - through the prism of someone else's view.

When doing something, try to look at it through the eyes of your friends. In this exercise, it is important not to get hung up on other people’s opinions, not to try to behave in accordance with the expectations of others, but to learn to see more in yourself than you are used to noticing in yourself, since the easier it is to love yourself, the more positive qualities you find in yourself.

Freedom from guilt

Often we are not able to love ourselves because we remember every mistake we made, every bad deed and stupid situation in which we found ourselves. This is a dead end path.

Firstly, we are all human and we all make mistakes, and the presence of dark spots in our biography is not at all a reason to refuse to love ourselves.

Secondly, a person is designed in such a way that he is usually only interested in him. He is much less passionate about those around him than he is about himself, and for years he is not able to remember the mistakes of his loved ones, and why?

Your memories are only yours, and only you yourself are able to rid yourself of the burden of guilt for the past, which is left behind and will not return. It is reasonable to extract valuable experience from mistakes, but reproaching yourself for everything that happened and has long passed is pointless and unproductive. Experience is what is important, and it’s worth loving yourself for the ability not to repeat stupid things.

Give up ideals

In order to love their body, people often find an idol among the stars, and constantly set him or her as an example. “She’s so slim!” - they think, forgetting that “she” can also be very unhappy, because visual beauty does not guarantee a happy life for anyone.

In pictures in magazines, public figures stand in beautiful poses, radiate charm and shine with golden skin. And how to love yourself if the star is like that, and in the mirror - a common person with all its shortcomings? In such a situation, try to convince yourself to love your imperfect body!

Take a closer look at the world of celebrities: can Barbra Streisand or Adriano Celentano be called handsome? But this did not stop them from becoming the idols of millions, and their spouses hardly asked themselves the question: “How to learn to love a person with such appearance?” Also, minor flaws in your figure cannot become an obstacle to not believing the call: “Love your body!”

Love for yourself as an individual

As a result, we all have to decide the question of how to learn to love ourselves, individually, depending on what specific traits prevent you from considering yourself close enough to perfection.
How to learn to love your nose or ears? Understand that in most cases, others, unlike you, simply do not consider them ugly.

How to love yourself, so awkward and incapable of spouting witticisms? Try to find people who value in their interlocutors not the ability to joke endlessly, but the great gift of listening carefully.

There are quite a few ways to solve the problem of how to love yourself, if you think about it. Learning to love yourself is like sailing in a boat with a bunch of oars at the bottom: just sort them out until you find the ones that suit your boat, insert them into the rowlocks and row, observing the technique, and you will definitely swim to the goal.

1. All that is required to have love is to be love.
2. Love does not require conditions.
3. This experience is absolute and perfect.

Let us examine in detail the question of how to develop self-love.

What is this concept often confused with?

This concept has nothing to do with narcissism!

True self love is a natural and humble sense of self that you accept within yourself.

There is no tension or effort involved.

Having this feeling you:

• you are in harmony with yourself;
• you walk around the world with ease;
• you feel confident in any situation;
• respect everything you do and what you say.

It's such a down to earth and natural feeling.

Let's figure out where to start to love yourself completely and completely. Let's look at all 19 methods.

1. Realize that no one and nothing external will complete you, you are already self-sufficient

2. Accept yourself completely

Accept yourself as you are

Love yourself in any manifestation and expression, in any verbal and non-verbal expression.

1. Love all the mistakes you made in the past.
   This is important because people often judge themselves, hate themselves and despise themselves for things that were done in the past.
2. At that moment in time and with that knowledge, that action was the most correct for you. Realize that you took those actions in the past that led to mistakes because you thought at that moment that they would be the most correct for you.
   Of course, then you admit the mistake, but you love yourself with these mistakes and accept them.
3. Your mistakes are the reason you are where you are today..
   They made you stronger and stronger. Implement this knowledge and no longer worry about how to learn to love and respect yourself.

When you no longer associate the word “acceptance” with weakness, you begin to live with an ease and peace previously unknown to you.

Accept all your shortcomings and love yourself with them: it is what it is

Mantra for all occasions: “It is what it is. And that's okay."

Example. Yesterday I screwed up in front of people, I couldn’t give a talk and I didn’t prepare.

It is what it is, and that's okay.

Use this phrase as practical advice about how to love yourself and stop self-flagellation.

What is there a fine line which many people forget:

• This does not mean that you have now come to terms with the fact that you are a dull and boring creature and now you always lie on the couch and do nothing! No.
• Are you still striving to be the best version myself.
• You just don't judge yourself for your shortcomings.

3. You don’t need a reason to love yourself.

You are self-sufficient and should love yourself without reason.

If you are looking for reasons to love yourself, then love will not be complete and complete, and doubts and reasons to the contrary immediately appear in your head. You don't need a reason.

As soon as you start to think: “I love myself because...”, reasons immediately appear not to love yourself!

If you are looking for reasons to love yourself, you find reasons to doubt!

You love yourself, period. Without a reason.

You are already self-sufficient and there is no reason otherwise.

Thanks to this awareness, you will know everything about how to love yourself and increase self-esteem as a woman or man.

4. Stop putting people on pedestals and realize that everyone is equal.

There are no those who are better or worse than you.

Stop comparing yourself to other people and damaging your self-esteem.

Otherwise, you will find yourself in an endless race with yourself and will never solve your questions about how to love yourself and be a confident person.

Get out of the influence of social programming. Be aware of this...

Make a choice and allow yourself to be equal to everyone and experience inner lightness.

5. Never compare yourself to others

Comparing yourself with others always causes a feeling of lack of self-sufficiency and self-judgment.

Never chase after others or strive to be something you are not!

Example. You look at your neighbor, how he lives successfully and how his business is thriving, compare with your state of affairs, and you upset yourself and become overwhelmed because of this comparison.

Comparing yourself to others interferes with self-acceptance.

You can't be what you're not. You won't be able to live someone else's life. No matter how hard you try, you will end up being a cheaper, duller version of the person you are chasing!

The best thing you can do is be yourself.

Don't try to be something you're not. Don't try to be like everyone else.

Be yourself and go beyond your limits, expand your comfort zone.

It often happens that unconscious girls compare themselves with each other. And as a result, then they are always competing with someone. It's like an endless wheel of suffering and pursuit.

With this type of thinking, women's questions about how to love themselves and increase self-esteem in the psychology of perception will forever remain open.

Who can you compare yourself with?

The only person you should compare yourself to is it's you yourself!

For example, what were you like yesterday and what are you like today.

A fine line. Try to compare yourself to yourself NOT related to results achieved, and with regards to the new knowledge and awareness gained.

Ask yourself these questions daily:

• In what ways have I become wiser than yesterday and what new things have I learned?
• What lessons have I learned from today?
• Did I step out of my comfort zone today?

Only such a comparison with oneself takes place.

If the answer is no, then you remind yourself what you need to work on and where to strive.

6. Respect your body and your mind

Let's consider the psychologist's sixth advice on how to love yourself.

Respecting your body and mind means that you love yourself as spiritual person capable of thinking and being aware, and you love your healthy body and keep an eye on him.

Respecting your body means leading a healthy lifestyle

How to respect your body:

1. Do not drink alcohol, cigarettes or other harmful substances. You must love your body, and love for it is expressed by the fact that you do not stuff it with harmful smelling, alcoholic, inhaling things and do not undermine its health.
2. Develop your body, go to the gym. Feel the pain of muscle growth when you realize that your muscles are using their full potential and you are using them correctly. This is wonderful.
3. These feelings of developing body muscles and eating the right foods give you will have greater confidence and lightness in your body. Appreciate your body for it.

People become drunkards and live their lives this way because they hate themselves and know nothing about how to learn to love and value themselves.

Respect your mind and consciousness, do not feed it with false information

What does this mean and how should it be implemented:

1. You don't need to watch junk on TV.
2. You need to think positively, have clear and precise thoughts. Have pure thoughts. And then you will close your questions about...
3. You remove all negative thoughts that only hinder your progress.
4. You need to develop your mind, explore new concepts, ideas, topics, look for better solutions.
5. Let your mind rest.
6. Meditate. You can read more about .
7. Show him that you respect him.

The introduction of these principles will be one of the main trump cards that closes the question of how to start loving yourself.

7. Get rid of the negative, grumpy granny who judges other people and yourself.

Why you need to stop judging others and yourself

This will also be the main advice from a psychologist on how a woman over 50 or an older man can love himself.

But, alas, even among younger generation this bad habit occurs.

An example of how judging others limits you

1. For example, a man sings songs on the street with an accordion.
2. And you and your friend walk by and start throwing mud at him: “Here Chaliapin has been found, he has no voice, there’s nothing to do, he’s off to the circus,” etc.
3. The time comes when you have to perform in front of people on the street and sing a song. But you begin to shake, you are tense and your confidence is lost somewhere.
4. It is this grumpy grandmother, judging others, who limits your actions.
5. Never judge anyone. Both yourself and others.

The only thing you can blame yourself for is:

• Have I done my best?
• Have I done everything I could to improve?

8. If you don’t like something, don’t endure it, act

You can verbally tell the person that you don’t like it, or show with facial expressions and gestures that you don’t approve of it.

From childhood, your mother taught you to endure difficult situations and let them be.

It was the same at school. No need to endure!

These are not necessarily words, they can also be actions that stop what you don’t like.

Example: A man smokes in a car. And you cannot tolerate cigarette smoke and have never smoked. You immediately look for solutions to an unpleasant situation for you and say it out loud.

• I suggest the person get out of the car and smoke on the sidelines.
• I'm saying that I can't stand the smell of cigarettes and I'm allergic.
• I'm saying that we won't be able to communicate with him until he stops smoking.

Implement this psychological technique and it will become easier to love yourself.

The more you decide unpleasant situations for you, the more love and respect for yourself will appear.

9. Have personal boundaries: what you accept in people and what you don’t

Why is it important to have personal boundaries :

Example.

• I don't like it when people sit on my neck.
• I don't like gossips, liars and hypocrites.
• And so on.

Also write your preferences what you value and respect in people.

This way you will know what you want. You will know clear answers to questions from psychology about how to love and respect yourself.

10. When you achieve your goals, reward yourself in every possible way: for example, buy yourself sweets

If you have set a goal for yourself and realized it, please yourself with pleasant things.

How does this help you in the future:

• Thus, you unconsciously reinforce in your head that achieving goals is doubly pleasant and tastier.
• More energy appears to achieve the goal.
• Buying something for yourself, rewarding yourself for the result, emphasizes it, evokes natural self-love for the efforts and efforts made.

For example, I like to buy myself sweets: chocolates, cake. Whoever likes it. It's always nice.

Implement this and you will no longer need advice from a psychologist on how to start loving and respecting yourself.

11. Don’t whine and don’t let whiners cry into your vest.

You are not a sponge or a vest in which you can cry! Make this clear to everyone around you.

When you yourself whine around people about life and about people, you are simply showing them that they can do the same to you too.

Whining does not solve problems in any way!

You don’t want to love a whiner, you want to love a strong personality!

How to stop whiners:

1. If the person next to you whines and complains about life, at people, pours out his soul to you and cries, ask him: “How will you solve your problem?”
2. If he continues to whine, it means he is not going to solve anything.. This means that a person just wants to feel needed by you, to pour out his soul to you, to feel your empathy.
3. Ask yourself: “Why do you need such people?”. Without a doubt, get rid of the whiners, and you will already feel how you began to love yourself more for it.
4. Remove whiners from your social circle, and there will be a strong and healthy ecosystem of emotions around you and only strong personalities near. No whiner will drag you down.

12. You create all situations yourself: take responsibility for yourself and your actions

How to learn this with a piece of paper and a pen

Apply this effective method from psychology on the topic of learning to love yourself in practice.

An example of a situation where a person got into a fight with a guy on the street

How the person brought the situation to this point:

• I myself behaved too aggressively and emotionally.
• I myself called names and provoked the man.
• I could have just left at any time.
• I was looking for my own adventures.
• I pushed the guy first.
• I myself attracted the negativity that had been accumulating for a long time.

13. Know your strengths and unique values, write them down and remember them

Know exactly what value you have, what attractive characteristics and quality.

If you don’t know this, you won’t be able to develop self-love and it will be harder to communicate with people.

For example, it's great if when communicating with people, you, without even straining, bring such things as:

Whoever you are you already have value if only because you are unique.

Write down your unique qualities and remember them. This will help cope with restless thoughts about how a woman or man can learn to love himself.

Answer the following questions in writing:

1. What makes your personality attractive?
2. What are your hobbies, interests, interests?
3. What sensations do you give to people who are in your environment without trying or making an effort?
4. How deeply can you express your interesting personality when communicating with other people?
5. How independent are you and how free are you inside?

Values different people different. As your personality develops, your values ​​may change.

Video on how to increase objective self-esteem

14. Trust yourself and your intentions more, act according to your desires

1. Say what you want.
2. If what you do comes from good intentions, trust them, do and implement them!
3. Whatever your desires and intentions, act according to them.

Don't be afraid to appear to be what others don't want you to be! Because this is your life and you live for yourself, and not for others!

The more you trust yourself and act on your desires, the more you will live the life you want.

Examples of how people limit themselves in life because of other people’s opinions:

• Some people don't want to fully express themselves and their personality because they are afraid of offending other people.
• Some people don't want to dance because they're afraid of getting looks of disapproval or bringing smiles to others' faces.

You can write an article about how to ignore other people’s opinions and get rid of shyness.

15. Be more interested in yourself, do introspection, strive to be your best self.

How to learn to love yourself and be a confident person

Stick to these principles, and you will no longer worry about learning to love life and yourself.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• What are your passions in this life?
• What excites and delights you?
• What kind of humor do you like?
• What kind of music do you like?

16. Set yourself a big goal that will excite you and keep you from falling asleep, and implement it

1. Set yourself a goal that will excite you and keep you from falling asleep!
   Live this dream and make it a reality every day.
2. The more you set goals for yourself, the more energy you have in your body. to implement it and make it a reality.
3. If the goal is low and petty, then there will be so much energy.
4. Thus, on the way to big goal you will live interesting life , you will have self-respect and a feeling that you are growing and not standing still.

Remember the importance of the goal and you will close your questions about how to learn to love yourself and become an interesting person.

17. It’s important to love other people: don’t try to change them.

It is important to love and accept people as they are.

Be aware of these principles, re-read them sometimes and don’t worry about how to love yourself and other people too.

18. You don't need to be a super perfect person.

Our society, mass media and television instill perfectionism and the desire to be super ideal and correct.

Supposedly you must have an ideal body and education.

In reality, no one wants to be perfect and correct!

Replace this desire with the desire to fully accept and love yourself in any manifestation and expression.

People want to be themselves.

Allow yourself and other people to be who they are.

This way you will know everything about how to accept and love yourself.

19. Don’t forget to respect yourself and just look neat

It's enough to live up to your idea of ​​what's normal.

To be in pretentious cool places, you don’t have to have super expensive clothes.

To do this, it is enough to look consistent with your idea of ​​​​what is normal.

Well, it is advisable, of course, to find out in advance about the requirements of the institution and comply with them. If there are no special requirements, then there is no need to comply with anything.

• It is very stupid to advise a person to always think positively. This is tantamount to holding and forcibly clinging to some thoughts in your head.
• Any condition is temporary and impermanent. All people's condition changes and there is no point in forcing a person to depend on the condition and constantly chase after it.
• This doesn't mean you can now be a nasty, evil woman.. No.
• You need to love yourself no matter what condition you are in. Be congruent with yourself and love yourself in every way.

This concludes all the advice. Now you know everything about how to love yourself correctly and correctly interpret this concept.

Wise words

Love is the absence of separation and boundaries between people. This is when you are dissolved and see yourself in every person.

Loving all people is much more beautiful than loving yourself alone or only your partner.