Increased level of self-esteem. Self-love, or adequate self-esteem

Raising self-esteem

How to increase self-esteem for men (women), what is important to know, how to act?

Hello, dear reader! In this article I will give the first recommendations on how to increase self-esteem. In other articles on the site you will find more more information on this topic.

What self-esteem is and how important it is for a person - there is no need to say, this is already clear. What do you need to raise your self-esteem and make it more stable and independent from external factors, in particular, people.

Firstly, a real desire (not just a “wish”, but a firm intention), certain knowledge and 100% responsibility, without which it is impossible to do anything worthwhile in life.

It is important to understand that you cannot destroy something and then build a new one in a few days. With the right approach you can make it faster, but that doesn't mean fast.

Although there is a quick way. This " miracle", which can happen to you, or which you can arrange for yourself. For example, arrange for yourself amnesia. And then form yourself, your views and your self-esteem again, unless your memory returns to you again.

True, I don’t advise anyone to do this." miracle"Besides, self-esteem is not so difficult to change; there are much more difficult things in life, for example, finding and achieving your goal.

How to raise our self-esteem? How to become more confident?

The first thing is important to keep in mind.

Self-esteem may change not only throughout life, but even during the day, and more than once, everything depends on the person, in particular, on his character traits, situation and mood at the moment. I think many of you have noticed how recently you felt good and confident, it seemed to you that you could do anything, but some unpleasant event happened (for example, someone said something to you), you got upset, and inner emptiness or even depression immediately appeared.

And the most interesting thing is that all this is quite normal, it happens to everyone, even the most confident people, only in their case, it is not acute (painful) in nature, because they self-sufficient, they value, love themselves and are guided mainly by their own opinion.

Many are sure that you can always be on top, you can always be consistently confident and strive for this state. But this is a big misconception - you cannot always be strong, confident and the best, always be cheerful and positive!

We have different periods: moments of decline and rise, sadness and joy, calm and excitement; only for some this happens less frequently, for others - more often and in sharp, sharp jumps.

Depending on the circumstances, you can feel less confident at any moment, for example, when your plan did not work out or you are faced with completely new circumstances; this is a reality that makes no sense to resist.

Causes of tension, weakness and constant loss of self-esteem

When a person always tries to be strong and confident, but does not feel like that internally, he is in constant anxiety and tension, he drives himself into limits and is forced to constantly control his actions. After all, he believes that he must strive to maintain his status, and he simply cannot relax.

And if suddenly something does not turn out the way he wants (as he expected), if he, in his opinion, shows unacceptable weakness in some words and behavior, then voluntarily or involuntarily he becomes upset, angry and criticizes himself. This takes a lot of energy, it vitality and immediately reduces self-esteem.

Therefore, to begin with, you should not attach too much importance to this fact, a certain decrease in self-esteem is normal, it’s just that today was not your day. We all have those days that we don't want to remember.

And it’s important not to force yourself to always be strong (oh), on top, but you just need to gradually stabilize your self-esteem, learn to live with the state that you have, admit that you may not worry better mood and allow yourself to be uncertain.

This approach makes it possible to fully relax, and when a person is relaxed, he himself becomes calmer and more confident.

The fact and awareness of this is already can help you, give you more freedom, liberate and give you confidence in your actions.

There are still very important point, similar to what is written above. When some unpleasant event happened, someone criticized you, “attacked” you, or maybe they forgot about you (ignored you), treated you with disrespect - and you expected something different and for this reason you experienced unpleasant feelings, and your self-esteem decreased , besides, you might think that it’s your fault, you’re somehow different - do not engage in self-examination and destructive analysis.

The reason may not be in you at all, and even if this is the case, then you will not achieve anything good except pain by digging yourself.

What's happening? Self-esteem has fallen, you are upset and against the backdrop of this bad mood you are trying to understand why this happened, what they did or said wrong. Your mood and self-esteem due to such unpleasant thoughts instantly decreases even more. Think about it, this happens often.

In this situation, it is impossible to draw useful conclusions (for this you need to have good self-control and be), and all this is only apparent impression, that, they say, I will delve into myself, find a solution (some words of justification) and I will feel better.

Here you just need to internally completely reconcile with what happened, leave all self-analysis and boldly move on.

And one of the main reasons why, in principle, you should never engage in self-flagellation and self-examination - this does not in any way reinforce your confidence, but on the contrary, only aggravates your situation and general condition. Why this happens, you can read in the article “”, about how stressful thoughts and emotions affect our body.

As for the experience that is important to learn from situations, this must be done calm, cold introspection, without criticizing, without scolding yourself and without imprinting your whole past.

Such self-analysis is not done immediately, but some time after the event, when you have already calmed down, this makes it possible to look at the situation with a sober look. After all, only with a cool head, without unnecessary emotions, in a calm atmosphere, can you draw objective conclusions, and not blame yourself or others.

It’s even better to do it on paper. This way the brain perceives and processes information better, you will see better (more clearly) what is important to you and what is just harmful nonsense.

From the entire analysis, only the very essence is taken, that is, a piece of real experience, a short (laconic) conclusion without any anger or criticism addressed to you, you find and extract a positive conclusion (benefit for yourself), this is real self-analysis and useful, constructive, light criticism.

Many people judge themselves so mercilessly that there is no way to achieve inner peace, confidence and self-love. But is it really possible to achieve through violence and guilt? spiritual harmony? How can you raise your self-esteem? Think for yourself.

And yet, I know very well how tempting it is, despite all the warnings, to continue soul-searching and introspection while remaining emotionally shaken, because you want to find it quickly. logical solution to reassure yourself, but very often, this does not do anything good, just keep in mind.

Conclusion:

Never engage in self-flagellation and self-examination;

Do introspection when you are calm and better on paper;

Temporary uncertainty and a decline in self-esteem are normal, it happens to everyone, just be calm about it.

Self-esteem and people's influence

It is always important to remember that no assessments of other people should not affect your self-esteem, they can evoke something internally unpleasant or good in you, depending on whether they praise you or criticize you, but this influence should be more like ripples on the surface of water, and not a tsunami that destroys everything. No matter what anyone tells you, learn to treat it with detachment, without unnecessary emotions.

If you have done or said something wrong and you believe that you are wrong, there is no point in dwelling on it, you have already done it, and there is nothing to take back. Over time, you will still have the opportunity to correct something, if necessary, and it is not so important who and what thinks about you, the main thing is how you think about yourself.

Exactly what we ourselves we think about ourselves, the most important thing , that’s why self-esteem is called self-esteem, and not mom-assessment, dad-assessment, colleagues-assessment, etc., let the rest think what they want, it’s their legal right and their problem to think about something.

By the way, most people themselves are fixated on what others think about them - how they look, how they look at them, how they treat them, they think about controlling their behavior, words and facial expressions - and, in essence, they don’t really care up to you, so worry less.

1) Your thoughts and words to yourself

Talk to yourself, your thoughts - your friends, your thoughts should to help you to act, not to harm. And I mean only common sense, and not everything that might come to mind.

We cannot believe everything that we consciously and unconsciously think. Our particular thoughts depend on many circumstances: on mood, general tone and many external and internal factors, and many of them do not even have a hint of any meaning (absurd) and are useless. Pay attention only to positive and constructive thoughts.

The way you talk to yourself is very important.

Try to give yourself good, successful thoughts and talk to yourself like a friend(don’t be afraid, this is non-forgiving :), this is a very useful and good thing). Self-esteem is, first of all, attitude towards oneself. Good attitude to yourself, no matter what you do, no matter how bad you act regarding the morality and opinions of others.

What words do you say to yourself? How do you feel? What are your thoughts contributing to?

If you tell yourself: " I won't succeed", " I'm not capable, I can't", "where do I care about that?", "I won’t go and meet her, in case she doesn’t like me"or "I'm a fool, I'm somehow different" - these thoughts are the way Vnowhere. You definitely won't achieve anything with them.

The reality is that if you think you can't succeed, you will. doesn't mean at all that you really won’t succeed, it just means that it may not work out, but it might also work out if you pull yourself together and try hard.

And if it seems to you that they will not understand you, will not appreciate you, and will laugh at you, this does not mean at all that this will happen.

Courage and actions are highly valued by those around you, even if they are unsuccessful. Reasonable people They will see that you are one of those who are able to act!

2) If you want to have stable self-esteem, don't focus on your failures and shortcomings.

It’s corny, but it’s true, although many people don’t succeed. Failures happen to everyone. Don't get hung up on a thought like this when you're about to do something: " I may not succeed"If you think like that, most likely it will happen, or it will turn out badly.

Thoughts of failure are blocks, which arise in our head as protection against a miss.

But if you are afraid of everything, then what will you achieve? You need to react correctly to such harmful “thought blocks” - just calmly ignore them. It is best to passively observe yourself and everything that is happening around you, without analyzing anything, and just do what you decide (despite the possibility of failure).

A simple word or a few words spoken to yourself helps a lot. For example, this unpleasant thought came to me: " A suddenly I can't do anything at all", answer yourself: " I can do it, I will do it, and let it turn out what happens". Then don’t have a meaningless conversation with yourself that deprives you of confidence. Just do it and see the result.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes.

Only the one who pleases everyone or does nothing makes no mistakes. We all have the right to make mistakes, and we all make mistakes. A mistake is an opportunity to use your bad experience to adjust your actions and do something better in the future. We should not be afraid of mistakes, but of inaction and ignorance of our (desires).

As they say: our success is built on the ruins of our mistakes, and it is impossible to achieve success without making mistakes.

3) Never blame yourself. I repeat, it is important to get rid of feelings of guilt, no matter what thoughts and beliefs interfere with you.

If you have constantly blamed yourself before, this feeling settles inside, in your subconscious).

And it starts working as a background, automatically. You yourself don’t notice how you suddenly begin to feel guilty, sometimes without doing anything wrong.

For example, in your direction they could some suspicions arise those around you, and you about it just a passing thought , a feeling of guilt could immediately arise inside.

Whatever you did wrong or bad, you can draw conclusions for the future, but you don’t need to blame yourself.

4) Don't make excuses. Justification in itself causes negative emotions. When making excuses, you are trying to prove something to someone, already implying that you may be guilty.

But even if you prove something, a sediment will still remain on your soul, and justification, no matter how you look at it, implies guilt. So never make excuses, even if you are guilty, it’s better to just apologize if you are really guilty, and that’s all.

5) Fear. good defensive reaction body. It occurs in all people without exception. This is a natural feeling of self-defense. But if fear completely takes over a person, then expect trouble.

6) Learn to accept gratitude. Many, having done a good deed, are embarrassed to accept gratitude, compliments and praise. But it is important to demonstrate to yourself that you are worthy of this gratitude; pride is not arrogance, pride in oneself, one’s successes and actions always increases self-esteem. It nourishes you, and you may unwisely resist it. And if you are praised, then you deserve it, you need to accept it with dignity.

By avoiding and refusing gratitude, you subconsciously believe that you are not worth it, and unconsciously, from within, you reinforce this unnecessary stiffness and shyness in yourself.

The next time you are praised, maybe you should believe it and be happy for yourself? Yes, it may be unusual for you, but still learn to accept gratitude with dignity.

And as for modesty - this It’s not bad when it’s to the point and alternates with good arrogance.

Praise yourself to your loved one - this is the name of a small but very useful practice that is important to apply. Praise yourself for everything you can, for any simple and useful things.

I made lunch - great, I did well, however, the chicken was burnt - nothing, next time it will turn out better. I washed my underpants - great, I'm just super.

7) If you always or almost all the time, , pay attention to the past, the opinions of friends and family, wanting support and confirmation of the correctness of your decision, then you are already dependent on yourself.

Such dependence on the opinions of others - the presence of self-doubt and self-esteem will not increase you.

And by shifting decisions to others, you are throwing off responsibility for possible consequences. Yes, in case of failure, you will have someone to blame and “excuse yourself” with, but if you succeed, you will not be able to feel a “winner” within yourself (which you COULD do), which means you will not increase your confidence in your abilities!

Just try not to take too much to begin with. important decisions, most importantly, without regard for others.

We thought about it, firmly decided, and that’s it. Even if it is a wrong decision. Just try to ensure that the decision does not harm the people around you. Here a fine line, but this must be done in order to feel within yourself that you, too, can make a decision, and you have your own real opinion.

8) The level of aspiration also affects self-esteem. If you set yourself too much high goals, which cannot be implemented in a relatively a short time, prolonged unfulfillment can undermine your spirit, disappoint you and lower your self-esteem.

Set high goals and work towards them, but they must be realistically achievable in the near future..

Plan your goals, divide them into parts, having done one thing, move on to another. Having achieved your goal and become more confident and strong internally, set yourself a more significant goal.

9) How to increase self-esteem? Practice in front of a mirror, for both women and men.

True, this exercise is not suitable for everyone. If you feel severe discomfort, and this continues for 3-4 days each time, leave it, it’s just not your thing right now. A different approach will be needed here.

It all depends on the person’s perception and some points that I will no longer describe here.

When doing practice, treat yourself as your whole “I”, do not focus only on appearance, individual features, some thoughts or internal state. You are all together, one whole, and this is how you need to approach it.

The exercise can help a lot, but it takes time, because here you are programming yourself, your subconscious, and this is not so easy.

It is important to do the practice without straining, calmly and without fuss, without forcing yourself through gritted teeth, to say: “I love myself and.”

You must say this, even if at first not with love and without faith, but with ease for yourself, that is, without tension. It doesn't matter if you don't like something about your appearance.

Repeat these words in front of the mirror for at least two minutes. It is better to do this in the morning, as soon as you get up, and your brain is not completely awake, not loaded with thoughts and is still clean, this will make it easier to accept information.

Smiling slightly, say to yourself: " I love and respect myself in both my successes and failures. I love myself in sickness and in health. I accept myself as I am with all the good and bad that is in me. I respect and love myself. I unique person, and I have my own strengths and talents, and there is no one completely similar to me externally and internally. I respect and love myself regardless of my “shortcomings”. I appreciate and love as I am".

It’s very important here to just calmly tell yourself this, and not look closely at every little thing, what you like or don’t like, and not get involved in all sorts of unpleasant thoughts. You just have to tell yourself that and go.

10) Make a list of what you can do and what you are good at. .

Write everything that is true. Describe in detail your positive qualities (everyone has them), achievements and skills. After writing everything on a piece of paper, read it out loud. Try to read cheerfully and with feeling. If at the end of reading you feel pleasant emotions, then everything worked out, and this is what you should strive for.

You can spend 2-3 minutes on this at least once a day. Take one of your skills and describe it, then read it. The next day (or the day after) describe something else.

11) Take small steps towards what you want. Extra tension and exhaustion are completely useless. You feel that now you don’t want to do anything at all, you want to rest, rest, gain strength and energy.

How to raise self-esteem. Important point!

Don't wait until your self-esteem is stronger to decide on something, act little by little already right now.

The more you do something, the more you decide to take steps that are meaningful to you, the faster you will feel confident, and at the same time everything will begin to work out better and more calmly for you.

Nothing boosts self-esteem (confidence) like - stop self-criticism and take new actions!

Try to study more topics, whatever you like. If now you have to go to a job you don’t like, then clearly define for yourself that you are doing this because now it is necessary and it benefits you, provides for your family, etc. That is, formulate a value in order to eliminate (weaken) the negative connotation of the situation, otherwise least favorite job will in itself reduce your importance and self-esteem.

If you don't like the job, don't sudden changes, keep working, but start looking for something that will suit your taste, what you would like to do. Doing your favorite thing (hobby) has a very beneficial effect on inner satisfaction, self-esteem and life in general. Make your life more interesting!

I would like to draw your attention to the fact that in the process of working on yourself, pendulums can arise - this is when everything was good, and then suddenly it became bad. Treat such moments as temporary troubles. Just be calm during such periods!

The most difficult thing is to be patient and achieve the first noticeable success, and then it will be easier. As your self-esteem grows, your uniqueness begins to reveal itself, and new perspectives open up. You will be able to take more risks and be less dependent on others.

Finally: how to increase self-esteem?

You may feel anxious anywhere there are people, without realizing why you are so anxious. One of the reasons noted above is judgment. You are afraid of how you are perceived and what others may think of you, this comes from your unstable self-esteem.

Therefore, a small but important piece of advice - do not compare yourself to others and do not judge others. In comparison, you will still lose in something, somewhere, to someone, you are good and unique, so be who you are. Such evaluative thoughts always lead to anxiety and tension.

Do not judge others, because by judging, you consciously and unconsciously evaluate them, which means that within yourself you will always feel that they are evaluating you.

This manifests itself in the so-called mental phenomenon of “Mind Reading,” when you think that you know what other people are thinking about you. Moreover, what you think about yourself, you seem to “transfer” into their head, and it seems to you that this is exactly what they think about you.

By by and large, for all people different thinking, and we cannot know what others think about us, we can only guess. But what does it matter, if, for example, you think something bad about someone, he won’t care.

The same is true in your case - there is no point in worrying that someone might think something about you, this cannot in any way affect your success, peace of mind and happiness in general, unless you overwhelm yourself with some thoughts. Only with your thinking can you bring yourself to emotional stress, stress and bad mood. Remember this.

Having stopped judging people, the anxiety formed on evaluation and judgment will become weaker and weaker, and such thoughts will become less and less.

To become successful (no matter where exactly) you need to have confidence in your own capabilities. It is extremely difficult for a person with low self-esteem to achieve success and even just become happy: their whole life is built on doubts, disappointments and company in themselves. And at this time bright moments fly by, stopping in front of those who are confident in their capabilities. Today we will think about how to increase self-esteem and love yourself using simple and effective techniques.

What is self-esteem?

This is a person's understanding of the importance self and individuality in terms of relationships with other people, as well as an assessment of one’s qualities, pros and cons. Self-esteem plays a huge role in normal activities person in society and solving various everyday problems: fulfillment, family, finances and spirituality.

This quality performs the following functions:

• protection – ensuring stability and relative autonomy of a person from the opinions of other people;
• regulation – provides people with the opportunity to make personal choices;
• development – ​​providing an incentive for self-improvement.

Ideally, self-esteem is built only on a person’s own opinion of himself. However, in real life, it is influenced by multiple side factors, for example, the assessment of others: parents, peers, acquaintances, friends and colleagues.

Experts call adequate self-esteem (or ideal) the most accurate assessment by a person of his skills and abilities. Low self-esteem often leads to excessive doubt, introspection, and withdrawal from activities. An overestimate is fraught with loss of caution and making multiple mistakes.

It is important to know! In psychological practice, low self-esteem is more common, when a person is not able to reveal his own potential, and in especially severe cases, experts talk about an inferiority complex.

What does self-esteem affect?

So, the meaning of adequate self-perception is to “love” yourself in the present – ​​even with minuses, shortcomings and various “vices”. Everyone has flaws, but confident person What distinguishes him from others is that, first of all, he notices his successes and is able to present himself favorably to society.

If you hate yourself or just think of yourself as a failure, how can another person love you? Psychologists note an interesting fact: most people subconsciously (and perhaps knowingly) gravitate toward communicating with self-sufficient individuals. Usually they prefer to choose such people as business partners, friends and spouses.

Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem

People with similar problems most often have the following character traits:

Low self-esteem makes a person perceive temporary failures and problems as permanent “life companions,” which leads to incorrect conclusions and wrong decisions. Feeling bad about yourself? Prepare for the fact that others will react negatively to you. And this is already fraught with alienation, depressive moods and even emotional disorders.

4 reasons for low self-esteem

It is extremely difficult to indicate all the factors influencing a person’s attitude towards himself. Psychologists include congenital characteristics, appearance and position in society. Next we will look at the four most common causes of low self-esteem in humans.

Reason #1.

Have you heard the phrase that says that every problem “grows” from childhood? In our situation, it fits one hundred percent. IN early age there is a direct dependence of the child’s self-esteem on the attitude of parents and other significant adults towards him. If mother and father constantly scold and compare children with their peers, they will not have faith in their own abilities.

Psychological science claims that the family is the center of the universe for a child. In the unit of society, absolutely all the character traits of a future adult are formed. Lack of initiative, uncertainty, passivity are the consequences of parental attitudes.

Reason #2. Childhood failures

We all face failure, the most important thing is our reaction to it. Psychological trauma in childhood can cause low self-esteem. For example, a child begins to blame himself for his mother’s divorce from his father or family scandals. Constant feeling guilt turns into uncertainty and reluctance to make decisions.

In addition, children react sharply to any harmless failure. Took second place in the competition? An older person will simply redouble his efforts to achieve the goal, and little man may give up the activity altogether, especially if a significant adult has traumatized him with ridicule or a careless remark.

Reason #3."Unhealthy" environment

Adequate self-esteem and aspiration arise only in an environment where success and achievement of results are valued.

If people from your inner circle do not strive for initiative, it is difficult to expect confidence from an individual.

We are not saying that it is necessary to completely refuse to communicate with such people (especially if they are close relatives). However, it’s worth at least thinking about whether you have also been captured by a similar disregard for self-realization.

Reason No. 4. Features of appearance and health

Quite often, low self-perception appears in children and adolescents with unusual appearance or congenital diseases. Yes, relatives treat their “non-standard” child correctly, but he is not immune from the opinions of his peers, who, unfortunately, are ruthless, like all children.

A common example is fat children who, in preschool and school institutions, become the owners of the most unpleasant and offensive nicknames. Low self-esteem will not be long in coming in such situations.

How to increase self-esteem: effective methods

If a person has realized his problems and decided to raise his self-esteem, he has already taken the first step towards confidence. We offer some of the most effective and efficient recommendations.

1. Change of environment. Negative people are not better society for a person who doubts himself.
   Psychologists advise reconsidering your own social circle by including successful, self-confident individuals who have a positive attitude towards you. Gradually, the person will regain confidence and self-respect.
2. Refusal of self-flagellation. It is extremely difficult to increase self-esteem by regularly blaming yourself and speaking negatively about your own abilities. Experts recommend avoiding negative assessments regarding your appearance, personal life, career, financial situation.
   The priority is positive judgments.
3. Avoiding comparisons. You are the only such person in the world: unique, unique, combining advantages and disadvantages. In addition, it is quite easy to find people who have achieved much great success in any field of activity. A possible option is to compare yourself (with new achievements) with the old one who does not want change.
4. Listening to affirmations. This difficult word means in psychological literature short verbal formulas that create a positive attitude in the human subconscious.
   The affirmation should be formulated in the present tense so that the person perceives it as a given. For example: “I am beautiful and clever woman", "I own own life" It is better to repeat such phrases in the morning and before bed, and you can also record them on a voice recorder.
5. Performing unusual actions. The desire of a man or woman to escape into a personal comfort zone and “hide in a shell” is quite natural.
   It's easier for us difficult situation comfort yourself, your beloved (beloved) with goodies, alcohol, tears. We don’t encourage you to do extreme sports, just try to face the problem face to face.
6. Attendance at the training. In large cities, trainings, courses and seminars are regularly held to help increase confidence and self-esteem. Of course, it is necessary to find a real expert in psychology, and not “farmers”, of which, unfortunately, there are also plenty. Another option is reading psychological literature and watching feature films and documentaries on the topic.
7. Playing sports. One of the most accessible opportunities for raising self-esteem is playing sports. Regular physical exercise makes a person less critical of own appearance and with great respect for yourself. During sports exercises People release dopamine - the so-called joy hormones.
8. Diary of achievements. Both the girl and the young man are helped by diaries of their own successes, in which they should make notes about each of their small victories and achievements, even small ones. For example, every day 3-5 “little things” are written down in a notebook like this: we took granny across the road, we learned 10 new foreign words, earned 500 rubles more this month than last month.

Increased self-esteem is closely related to feelings of self-guilt and self-rejection. How to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a man and a woman? It is very simple and, at the same time, difficult - be kinder and more tolerant of your own personality. The following methods will help you with this.

Adequate self-esteem and self-confidence are not science fiction, but a very likely development of events. The most important thing for a person is to understand the importance of changes and have the desire to go in the right direction: changes in personal life, career, appearance. Remember that self-love in some situations must be earned by going through dissatisfaction and self-deprecation.

Hello, I am Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully completed her studies at SUSU as a specialized psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and consulting parents on issues of raising children. I use the experience gained, among other things, in creating articles of a psychological nature. Of course, I in no way claim to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help respected readers deal with any difficulties.

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50 comments to the article “ 8 ways to increase self-esteem and love yourself»

My grandmother constantly told me as a child that I have ugly ears, nose, eyes and in general I’m all so-so, and I don’t need to be too much of an upstart, I need to be like everyone else... I still can’t completely eradicate it. But traveling increased your self-esteem when in different countries you catch thousands of admiring glances from men, young men, and boys. When they want to meet me or take a photo with me. THIS is what specifically cured me.

As a person with low self-esteem, it helps me a lot to keep a diary of my achievements. When I start to doubt myself, I re-read the useful things I’ve done and my mood instantly improves!

A person is like a tree, if it has grown a little crooked, it can no longer be straightened out) No matter how much you “beat your head against the wall”, but, as we were programmed from childhood by our parents, kindergarten-school and close circle of friends... this is how we will eke out an existence all our lives . The most offensive and paradoxical thing is that it turns out that our parents, without knowing it themselves... made us so unhappy. Because their parents made them unhappy, etc. and it’s unlikely that a psychologist/psychiatrist will change the situation much, and the person himself understands himself even less... therefore, re-read at least a thousand articles, and you will remain the same complexed creature, just like that.

• You are not right. Reminds me of a little green goblin! Stop blaming your parents for your shortcomings. If you are not a teenager and over 19 years old, you must be responsible for your own life and not look back to the past! How can you compare a person to a tree? And even if they compared, think about it: if the trunk is crooked but growing, can it be directed in the other direction? Thus, giving it not a standard, even shape, but something much more beautiful and interesting? (YES IT IS POSSIBLE AND EVEN NEEDED) The brain develops up to 25 - 27 years. You can independently educate the person you want to see in the mirror every morning!

• I absolutely agree with you.

  A person is not a tree. I do not agree. A person is capable of change.

At any life situation, a person needs to believe in himself. For example, at work, at home among friends, or even when going on vacation, buying last-minute tours and relaxing on the beach, it’s not always possible to cope with your own self-esteem, from which in the end we may not get good result. But in fact, increasing your self-esteem is not difficult and quite possible, but it may take time.

A few tips will help with this:

1. Never compare yourself to others.

All people are different from each other and each has different qualities and abilities. And if you compare yourself with someone else, you can always find many opponents who will be impossible to surpass or achieve their results.

2. Never beat yourself up.

By expressing negativity about yourself and your abilities, it will be impossible to achieve any results. It’s better to praise yourself, even for the most insignificant action.

3. Thank you for the compliment addressed to you.

If you respond to a compliment with a phrase like: “nothing special,” then you psychologically deny praise and already in the subconscious concentrate on the thought that you are not worthy of being praised. And this, in turn, greatly underestimates self-esteem.

4. Boost your self-esteem with various affirmations.

Place the phrases in the most visible place: “I will succeed,” “I deserve the best in life,” “I love myself,” and the like. It may seem ridiculous at first, but over time you will notice as your self-esteem begins to rise.

5. Gather positive people around you.

Try to choose confident and positive people in your circle who can support you at any moment. In a negative environment, where you and your ideas will be suppressed, about high self-esteem and there is nothing to say.

6. Write a list of your achievements.

You can start the list with the simplest, and at first glance, trivial. You should not initially look for monumental achievements in your life. A small success is also a success. How to increase self-esteem? And you can start, for example, by learning to ride a bicycle, doing exercises every morning, etc. This list will need to be reviewed and re-read often and at the same time try to remember and feel the emotions that you experienced.

7. Write down all your positive qualities.

And you shouldn’t be too self-critical; on the contrary, a little flattery will only help you believe in yourself. Find at least 15 positive qualities in yourself. This list also needs to be read quite often.

8. If possible, do what you enjoy.

It is quite difficult to maintain a positive mood and high self-esteem when a person is doing something he doesn’t like and despises his work. You can only raise your self-esteem if you do something that brings you pleasure, makes you feel necessary and even valuable.

9. Stay true to yourself.

That is, live your life without basing or relying on the opinions of other people, no matter who these people are: family, friends or work colleagues. Only by making decisions on your own can you remain true to yourself and raise your level of self-esteem.

10. Act, act and act again!

And this is the most important advice. After all, sitting in one place will not change anything and will not be able to raise your self-esteem. In inaction due to fear or for another reason, a person begins to fall into apathy or depression, which will naturally lead to a decrease in self-esteem. And by acting, even with insignificant results at the beginning, you gradually improve your attitude towards yourself and increase your self-esteem.

• • Functions of self-esteem and their role
• • “Symptoms” of low self-esteem
• • Signs of “healthy” (high) self-esteem
• • Reason #1. Mistakes of upbringing in the family
  • Reason #2. Frequent failures in childhood
  • Reason #3. Lack of clear life goals and drives
  • Reason #4. Negative social environment
  • Reason #5. Health problems and appearance flaws
• • Method number 1. Change your environment and try to communicate more with successful people
  • Method No. 2. Attending special trainings, seminars and other events
  • Method number 3. Don't be afraid to take unusual actions
  • Method number 4. Avoid excess self-criticism
  • Method No. 5. Sports and healthy lifestyle
  • Method number 6. Listening to affirmations regularly
  • Method No. 7. Keep a diary of personal successes and achievements
• 9. Conclusion

What is the essence and importance of the concept of “self-esteem”. “The most important thing is how you see yourself.” This statement– the true truth, it is almost impossible to disagree with him.

Indeed, any victory, from the most insignificant to a brilliant triumph, is undoubtedly the result of the fact that at a certain stage of his life a person absolutely sincerely believed in himself, correctly assessed his own importance, and gained firm faith in the power of his capabilities.

In this article you will learn:

• What is self-esteem?
• How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence? And how to develop it?
• Does self-esteem influence human behavior?

We will also discuss how most people evaluate themselves and how the course of their lives depends on their sense of self.

Increasing self-confidence - 7 ways to increase self-esteem

1. What is self-esteem: definition and its impact on our lives

Self-esteem - this is an individual’s opinion about the importance and significance of his own personality in relation to other people, as well as his assessment of personal qualities - shortcomings and advantages.

Undoubtedly, for the full harmonious functioning of an individual in a social environment, objective self-esteem is necessary.

Without a healthy sense of self and understanding of the value of one’s own personality, a person’s achievement of many life goals - success in society, career growth and advancement, sufficient self-realization, material wealth, harmony in the family, spiritual well-being - becomes completely impossible. (Read also the article - and money into your life, there you will find all the popular ways to attract money)

Functions of self-esteem and their role

Self-esteem performs the following functions:

• Protective– guarantees a certain independence of the individual himself from outside opinions;
• Regulatory– provides an opportunity to solve problems of personal preference;
• Developmental– initiates an impetus for personal improvement.

In the early stages of self-esteem formation, the paramount importance, of course, is child personality assessment those around us - primarily parents, as well as educators and teachers, friends and peers.

IN ideal conditions, self-esteem should be determined only by the individual’s own opinion of himself, but in society this is impossible. A person is in constant psychological interaction with other people, and, therefore, his development as an individual and the formation of his self-esteem are influenced by countless factors.

According to psychologists and experts, ideal self-esteem –this is an extremely accurate and correct assessment of a person’s own abilities. This is extremely important!

After all, if self-esteem is low, then it forces a person to constantly doubt the choice of this or that decision, think for a long time, be afraid and, often, make the wrong choice. But it's too much a high self-evaluation, on the contrary, leads to the fact that a person’s decisions are unjustifiably bold, sometimes even daring, do not correspond to the potential of his capabilities, and this also leads to making a huge number of serious life mistakes.

Yet, more often than not, psychologists are faced with the problem of people underestimating their strengths and capabilities. Such a person is completely unable to properly reveal his potential, while he is absolutely unaware of where his problem lies, makes more and more mistakes due to constant self-doubt, and does not understand at all how to raise self-esteem. Due to the constant feeling of the meaninglessness of their existence, people with low self-esteem are often unsuccessful, poor, and unhappy.

One of the fairly common pathological manifestations of low self-esteem is inferiority complex .

2. Learn to respect and love yourself - this is immensely important!

Raising self-esteem means learning to respect yourself, to love yourself, i.e. accept yourself exactly as you are, with all your inherent shortcomings and vices. It is precisely in order to understand how to gain self-confidence and develop it that we wrote this article, since confidence and self-esteem are closely intertwined.

How to become confident? How to develop confidence?

It has long been a known fact that ideal people simply do not exist. We all have flaws. But a person who is confident in himself differs from a constantly hesitant, indecisive and insecure person in that he notices not only his shortcomings, but also remembers the advantages that every person probably also has. In addition, a confident person is undoubtedly able to present himself favorably in society.

If you don't love yourself, who else will take on such responsibility? How can other people love you? There is an interesting psychological phenomenon- consciously and subconsciously people always strive for contacts and communication with confident people. It is these people who are most often preferred as business partners, friends, and life partners.

If you tend to doubt yourself and reproach yourself for every little thing, you automatically program yourself for further failures, failures and make the decision-making process even more difficult.

Finally learn to notice your strengths, remember your achievements , do not hesitate to praise yourself once again. Forgive yourself minor failures and troubles, love and respect yourself – and soon you will notice how the attitude of others towards you will change.

Self-esteem and self-confidence are very important characteristics when applying for a job. Therefore, we also recommend reading the article when applying for a job."

“Symptoms” of low self-esteem

A person with low self-esteem often exhibits symptoms such as:

• excessive self-criticism, constant dissatisfaction with oneself;
• excessive sensitivity to criticism from other people, strong dependence on the judgments and opinions of others;
• an irresistible desire to please people, to invariably be useful in some way;
• pronounced fear of making mistakes, slowness and a tendency to endless doubts when making a significant decision;
• inexplicable jealousy, irresistible envy of the success of others;
• hidden hostility towards others;
• an attitude of constant defensiveness, a need to constantly explain and justify decisions made and actions taken;
• pessimism, negativism, a tendency to see oneself and everything around in gloomy tones;

A person with low self-esteem often perceives temporary difficulties and minor everyday failures as permanent, and makes appropriate negative and, what is noteworthy, incorrect conclusions regarding existing potential and future opportunities.

The worse we perceive ourselves, the less we respect ourselves, the more negative the attitude of people around us towards us. And this will inevitably lead to alienation, detachment and isolation, and therefore a tendency to depression and many other psycho-emotional disorders.

3. Self-confidence and high self-esteem are an integral factor in achieving success in life!

Some people consider selfishness to be a sin, or at least something negative, something that is best avoided.

But in reality, a person’s lack of self-love and lack of self-esteem is precisely the source of countless complexes and many internal conflicts.

If a person has a low opinion of himself, people around him will never have a different point of view about him. And on the contrary, people with sufficient self-esteem are usually highly valued by others: their opinion is always authoritative and weighty, their interests are taken into account, people strive to cooperate with them, make acquaintances, build friendships or start a family.

Thus, having learned to respect ourselves, we will certainly gain the respect of others, and, in addition, we will learn to be sober about the opinions of others about us.

Signs of “healthy” (high) self-esteem

People having good self-esteem, have the following positive characteristics:

• Accept, love and respect their appearance just the way he is. And if they find any shortcomings, they sensibly strive to overcome them;
• They do not question their strengths, they are focused on success and future victories;
• They are not afraid to take risks, make bold decisions, are more inclined to active actions rather than thinking, they are not afraid to make mistakes and draw appropriate conclusions and learn from them;
• They take criticism from others calmly and take compliments calmly;
• They know how to communicate well with people, are always interested in their opinions and are not afraid to express their own, do not experience timidity, uncertainty and embarrassment when communicating with previously unfamiliar people;
• They have due respect for the opinions of other people, but they always have and, if necessary, can defend and defend their own point of view;
• Take care of the health of your body and maintain positive emotional well-being;
• They strive for self-development, continuous self-improvement, constant acquisition of new impressions, knowledge, experience;
• They are not inclined to concentrate their attention and dwell on the negative for a long time in the event of any failure or setback.

Strong self-belief and sufficient self-respect– the same irreplaceable factors for achieving life success and human happiness, like water and sunshine for plant growth. Without them, personal progress is impossible. After all, low self-esteem completely deprives a person of any perspective and even the slightest hope for future positive changes .

4. Factors of low self-esteem - 5 main reasons

There are an immense number of factors that directly or indirectly influence the development of our sense of self. A small role is assigned genetic characteristics and hereditary predisposition, but significantly to a greater extent Environmental factors still have a decisive influence.

Let's analyze the five most common reasons for a person to develop low self-esteem.

Reason #1. Mistakes of upbringing in the family

As you know, each of us comes from childhood. And, oddly enough, many of our complexes and negative blocks of our consciousness also come from there. His future life directly depends on the upbringing of a child in childhood. After all, it is in childhood that parents form the “rules” by which a person will live in the future, those “filters” through which he will evaluate what is happening around him.

Therefore, the way you raise your child today is direct mirror reflection what kind of person you will get tomorrow. Believe me, the best, most important and valuable thing that a mother and father can do for the benefit of their children is to teach them to love themselves, to develop in them proper level self-respect.

Self-esteem of a future personality begins its formation in early childhood. At an early age, a child cannot yet independently objectively evaluate the results of his actions and actions, therefore the main source of formation of his opinion about himself is the immediate environment, i.e. most often parents.

For little baby his parents are his whole world. If his parents are kind enough to him, the attitude “ good world », - small man will be positive.

If parents in childhood never encourage their children, but, on the contrary, scold, constantly reproach and punish, the child simply will not have any foundation for the development of self-love - the ground on which confidence in their abilities could be formed will be destroyed. We in no way call for connivance, but if you want the best for your children, learn to notice not only their mistakes, but also their achievements. And be sure to pay not only your attention to them, but also the attention of the child. If your child constantly hears from you: “You are incompetent, awkward, a klutz, etc. - this will certainly be deposited in his childhood subconscious, and will leave its negative imprint on the development of his future personality.

Under no circumstances should you constantly compare and contrast your child with other children. Every person, without exception, it's individuality . By comparing a child with someone else, from childhood we infringe on him as an individual and contribute to the development of an inferiority complex in him.

If a child hears too many prohibitions in childhood, endless “ No" And " it is forbidden“- he is already potentially doomed to an unsuccessful life, little income, few friends in the future.

A sharp decrease in self-esteem and a breakdown in confidence in one’s own abilities, words and actions is influenced by parents’ endless criticism of any initiatives, first endeavors and actions. Any positive initiative in childhood should certainly be encouraged! After all, even years later, having long been an adult, a person who was often criticized in childhood subconsciously still continues to be afraid of the same criticism, condemnation of others, and mistakes. Parents, and teachers, educators, coaches, must definitely know how to raise self-esteem and self-esteem for a child who suffers from indecision, doubts and uncertainty.

Optimal method– praise, unobtrusive encouragement. Sometimes it is enough to sincerely praise your child several times for doing something correctly on his own. homework, a beautifully drawn drawing, a poem narrated with expression - and his self-esteem will definitely increase.

Do not forget that the center of the world for a child is his family. It is you who are the authors of the foundation of the core of the future personality. Passivity, lack of initiative, apathy, indecision, uncertainty and many others negative traits, is a direct reflection of family, especially parental, suggestions, attitudes, and incorrect upbringing models. As a rule, self-esteem is higher among only children in families and among first-born children. For others, the “little brother complex” is common, which occurs when parents endlessly resort to comparison. youngest child with the elder.

According to many psychologists , an impeccable family for building good self-esteem is one where the mother is always calm, balanced and in a good mood, and the father is moderately demanding, fair and has undeniable authority.

Reason #2. Frequent failures in childhood

It is well known that our life is changeable and multifaceted, in it success alternates with bad luck, white stripes with black ones, victories with defeats. At some point in time, absolutely every person will face life challenges. troubles, problems, banal failure.

No one is immune from all this, and besides, it contributes to the emergence of life experience, the development of willpower, and the formation of character. But what is undoubtedly important is our own attitude towards the misfortunes we have experienced. And they can especially traumatize the child, since his strength of character has not yet been fully formed.

Any tested negative event can affect the child’s vulnerable psyche in the form of a lifelong guilt complex and loss of self-esteem.

For example, sometimes children reproach themselves for their parents’ divorce or their endless quarrels, and then the child’s sense of guilt is modified into continuous doubts and inability to make a decision.

In childhood, events that are completely harmless, from the perspective of an adult, often acquire universal proportions.

Eg, having won a silver rather than a gold medal at a sports competition, an adult athlete will take a break and continue training even more stubbornly, while a child may break down and get psychological trauma and complexes for the rest of your life, especially if parents And trainer will not show proper understanding of the current situation.

What fuels low self-esteem in childhood? Failures and mistakes, ridicule from classmates, rash remarks from adults, especially parents, criticism from teachers. As a result, the teenager creates misconception that he is bad, unlucky, inferior, unlucky, doomed in advance to negativity, and an erroneous feeling of guilt arises for his thoughts, decisions, actions.

Reason #3. Lack of clear life goals and drives

If you don't have clear goals that you would like to achieve, positive aspirations, and don't even try to change something for the better, you don't make any effort. volitional efforts, - accordingly, your life will continue to be boring and joyless, gray and monotonous.

Often people who underestimate themselves live “according to a pattern,” half-heartedly “on autopilot.” They have long been accustomed to gray tones, an inconspicuous “mouse” lifestyle, complete absence fresh impressions and picturesque colors - but there is absolutely no desire to get out of the established quagmire. Over time, these apathetic people stop even taking proper care of their appearance, resign themselves to a small income, and stop dreaming and craving for something more. Of course, self-esteem in this case is not only low, but completely absent.

Growing up, a person becomes passive and apathetic, and then shifts all problems and troubles onto his wife (husband) when he starts a family.

There is only one conclusion: For such a person there is simply a burning need to increase self-esteem. Otherwise, his life will continue to be painted in extremely gloomy tones, until he himself makes colossal efforts to change his life and, most importantly, himself.

Reason #4. Negative social environment

Science has proven the existence mirror neurons– unusual brain cells that tend to become active not only during execution specific action, but also when observing the performance of this action by others. Thus, gradually we become to some extent similar to those who make up our close circle.

If there are people around you without definite aspirations and specific life goals, who are in stable spiritual anabiosis, where will you get the craving for internal modifications?

High self-esteem and healthy ambitions are only possible where there are role models. If the people around you boring, passive, lack initiative, have become accustomed to the gray and inconspicuous life “in the shadows,” then, quite likely, you will be absolutely satisfied with such an existence.

If you notice that everyone around you is endlessly complaining about life, constantly gossiping, judging others or slandering others, you need to try cross off these people from the inner circle by all available means. After all, in fact, they may turn out to be an obstacle to improving your creative potential and your success.

Reason #5. Health problems and appearance flaws

Low self-esteem is often characteristic of children and adolescents with defects in appearance or congenital diseases.

Even if parents behave correctly, carefully and tactfully towards a child who has health problems, then peers will probably still leave a negative mark on his sense of self.

Common situation- overweight children who are children's team They often make fun of them, give them various nicknames, often offensive. In this case, catastrophically low self-esteem cannot be avoided unless the necessary measures are taken in a timely manner.

Of course, it is worth trying, if possible, to eliminate existing imperfections. If this is unrealistic, try to develop other necessary qualities that would help him become more resilient, strong, charismatic, funny, capable and confident.

The world knows a lot of examples where people with irreparable physical disabilities and incurable diseases achieved tremendous success, universal recognition, acquired good families and live the happiest life, which many have never seen even in their dreams. (To list a few of them: Carrie Brown, Nick Vujicic, Jessica Long, etc.)

5. How to increase self-esteem and confidence - 7 ways to increase self-esteem

Let's learn to raise self-esteem, develop self-confidence and start loving ourselves! Fortunately, there are many ways to awaken your faith in own strength, but now let’s take a closer look at seven of them, which, in our opinion, are quite reliable and effective.

Method number 1. Change your environment and try to communicate more with successful people

If you radically change your social circle and start contacting purposeful, successful, self-confident people, your life is guaranteed to change for the better very quickly.

Little by little your sense of self will return dignity, self-respect, determination, courage, self-love, i.e. all those personal qualities, without which it is impossible achieving life success .

By communicating with prosperous and successful people, you will begin to appreciate your own individuality, you will begin to use your personal time more carefully, and you will certainly gain life goal and you will definitely achieve success on your own.

Method No. 2. Attending special trainings, seminars and other events

In any city, various events, specialized trainings and seminars are held for everyone, at which psychologists help people become more confident and raise their self-esteem.

Good specialists with experience similar work for the maximum short term will be able to turn a timid, clumsy, indecisive person into a strong, strong-willed, self-satisfied and purposeful person. Main– have a sincere desire and tune in to the upcoming positive changes.

If you still do not want to resort to outside help, but are determined to cope with the problem yourself, you should read the following literature:

• Brian Tracy "Self-Esteem";
• Andelin Helen "The Charm of Femininity"
• etc. (there is a lot of similar literature on the Internet)

Method number 3. Don't be afraid to take unusual actions

It is human nature to run away from problems and hide in the familiar zone. own comfort. This is understandable. It is much easier in difficult situations to calm yourself down by eating a mountain of sweets, big amount alcohol, or just sit at home in a chair and feel sorry for yourself, savoring your own powerlessness. It is many times more difficult to adequately accept the challenge and accomplish something completely unusual for you before.

At first it will seem to you that beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone there is an unusual, hostile, alien and inhospitable world, but then you will understand that real life, full bright colors , unforgettable adventures and positive emotions, is just where you haven’t been yet.

Constantly being in familiar conditions is reminiscent of living in a kind of invisible cage, from which you are afraid to leave only because you are accustomed to it and do not know what awaits you outside of it.

When will you be able to leave "comfort zone" and at the same time remain calm, collected and balanced, you will receive a strong incentive to increase self-esteem and create a new, more attractive image.

Nobody is asking you to start with global change. To begin with, for example, instead of returning from work to watch a long-tired boring TV series, visit the gym or visit old friends.

Set a goal- learn in six months unknown language or this evening to meet a pretty girl. Don't be afraid of mistakes! If for the first time everything does not work out smoothly and perfectly, you are still guaranteed a lot of new impressions and increased self-esteem.

Method number 4. Avoid excess self-criticism

Finally, stop beating yourself up, concentrating on the negative, blaming yourself for inadvertently made mistakes, not having an ideal appearance, or yet another failure in your personal life. It will immediately feel much easier for you!

You won’t waste a lot of energy on self-criticism, and you will certainly find time and energy for other, more creative, necessary and worthy tasks.

Remember: whatever you are, you are the only unsurpassed, inimitable and unique person on this huge planet. Why endlessly compare yourself to others? Try to better concentrate on achieving the necessary goals, reconsider your potential and your personal idea of ​​​​happiness.

Open your eyes to the positive qualities of your personality. Find your strengths and constantly work to improve them.

Finally, from any failures of the past, experienced disappointments and mistakes once made, you can extract invaluable benefits, the name of which is worldly wisdom and life experience.

Method No. 5. Sports and healthy lifestyle

It is known that one of the simplest and most effective methods increase self-esteem - actively engage in sports, dancing, physical education or other activities focused on improving health and well-being. It's no secret that a healthy body has always been considered a container healthy mind and pure thoughts.

By playing sports, a person begins to perceive his appearance less critically and automatically respect himself more. Moreover, improving self-esteem does not at all depend on the results of training: even if the changes are minimal, the activity itself, the process of training itself, is important.

The more energetic your workouts, the more you will begin to value yourself. There is an explanation for the presented phenomenon from the point of view of biochemistry: during intense exercise, special substances are produced in the human body - dopamines- so-called "hormones of joy."

Method number 6. Listening to affirmations regularly

Affirmation is a short verbal formula that, when repeated frequently, forms a positive attitude in the human subconscious.

It is this attitude that subsequently leads to the transformation of character traits and personality traits for the better. Now affirmations are considered by psychologists as one of the most effective ways to reprogram a person’s consciousness.

These verbal formulas are always voiced as an already realized fact, which makes a person perceive them as something inevitable, something that will inevitably happen in any case.

If our own subconscious considers us strong, successful, And purposeful, then little by little we will certainly become like that.

Main condition when using the linguistic miracle formula - strict regularity.

Method No. 7. Keep a diary of personal successes and achievements

Sometimes a diary of your own victories and achievements that you create can help raise your self-esteem. This method is especially popular among women.

Be sure to get such a diary and enter data there about everything you have achieved during your time. day, a week, month. This is truly a powerful tool that will make you believe in yourself and stimulate your self-esteem.

Let his records be replenished every day with information about your victories, even very minor ones! And don't forget to re-read it regularly.

Use these methods regularly and then your self-esteem will be completely normal, your life will begin to improve, and material problems will move to another level. By the way, don’t forget to read: “”, because without these recommendations it is impossible to gain financial independence.

6. Fighting dependence on public opinion

If you attach too much great importance in the opinion of others, you are potentially dooming yourself to failure.

Of course, really friendly, objective and constructive criticism, pointing out your specific mistakes and received from reliable people who can actually be trusted - this is very useful and will help you develop and constantly improve. But excessive dependence on other people's views - this is a huge mistake.

Appreciate own opinion, have your own point of view, act only as you consider necessary, and not someone else. Don't attach enormous importance to other people's words! No one but you knows your true desires, goals, needs and cannot judge what is good for you and what is not. If you want to do something new and different, the question of “what will people say” should never stop you.

Don't be afraid to pursue your dreams and don't get hung up on the consequences.

7. How to learn to manage your self-esteem and find yourself - 5 useful tips

Let's look at five important tips to help manage your self-esteem:

1. Don't compare yourself to other people- This is an absolutely futile and stupid exercise. It makes sense to compare only “yourself in the past” and “yourself now,” and you need to focus only on positive changes;
2. Don't criticize yourself tirelessly, better remind yourself of the list of your positive qualities, achievements and victories (even the tiniest ones);
3. Socialize more with cheerful, positive people;
4. Do what you enjoy more often;
5. Think less! Take more action!

Never forget that you are the most interesting extraordinary personality with enormous potential of unlimited possibilities. And only developing good self-esteem is a reliable way to fully reveal your many abilities and talents.

8. Self-esteem test - determine your level of attitude towards yourself

Answer the given questions “yes” or “no”, and then count the number of positive and negative answers.

1. *Do you often scold yourself for past mistakes?
2. *Do you like to gossip with friends, discuss your mutual acquaintances?
3. *You don’t have formed goals and clear plans for your future life?
4. *Are sports activities foreign to you?
5. *Do you often worry and worry about trifles?
6. *When you find yourself in a new company, don’t you like to be “the center of attention”?
7. *When meeting someone of the opposite sex, do you find it difficult to carry on a conversation?
8. *Does other people's criticism upset you?
9. *Do you tend to envy the success of others?
10. *Are you easily offended by a careless word?

So if you have:
From 1 to 3 affirmative answers - our congratulations, you have good , “healthy” self-esteem.
More than 3“yes” answers: your self-esteem underestimated. Definitely work on this.

9. Conclusion

Now you know that believing in yourself, not being afraid to take risks, not attaching importance to criticism from others and soberly assessing your own talents is entirely possible and not at all difficult. Main– a sincere, genuine desire to change and a willingness to work on oneself.

You can believe in anything, hope for a miracle, God’s help, luck or a lucky break, but never forget that the most important thing is BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!

Having realized this, you, without any exaggeration, can radically change your whole life.