To be interesting to other people, you need constant self-improvement and development. Constantly learn something new, study, travel, expand your horizons. WITH erudite person There is always something to talk about, he is always interesting. Find a passion for yourself. It doesn't matter what it is: painting or diving, dancing or gardening. At a minimum, you will always be interesting to those who share your passion. In addition, a passionate person who devotes himself entirely to his hobby often becomes successful and receives recognition and respect in society. And success will make you interesting to huge amount people. Be versatile developed person. Being deeply passionate about one thing should not make you a one-sided person. Be interested in art, sports, music, astronomy, literature, etc. You need to learn something new throughout your life; this is the only way to avoid personality degradation. Share your knowledge with others - this is the meaning of communicating with interesting people! Bernard Shaw said it best: “If we exchange apples, then you and I will have one apple each. If we exchange ideas, you and I will each have two ideas.” The desire for new knowledge is inherent in people. And if you are the source of this knowledge, interest in you will not dry up. Learn to express your thoughts beautifully, present information competently, and you will provide yourself with an audience of grateful listeners who listen to your every word and consider you very interesting person. Accept and love yourself as you are. Each personality is interesting in its own way, “the whole Universe is hidden in every person.” Look at yourself from the outside, determine your strong traits and develop them. Don't hide your talents and achievements from people. And some flaws can be made part of your unique image. Don’t be afraid to have your own opinion on everything and defend it if necessary. Many people are afraid to stand out and prefer to be part of the crowd all their lives. Take risks, find your way, fall and rise again. The richer your life experience, the more interesting you are to others. Use your sense of humor. Wit and ease of communication are the most reliable way gain fans and friends. Anyone who knows how to make a joke at the right time and defuse the situation never gets bored alone. Smile, make others smile, and you will always be the center of attention!
An interesting personality is attractive to others. It’s a pleasure to communicate with a bright, extraordinary, versatile person. Such an individual knows how to both listen and maintain a conversation, he amazes with his charisma and love of life, has great feeling humor and attracts other people. If you want to become such a person, study the basic qualities of interesting people.
Development
To be interesting conversationalist, you need to constantly learn something new. Be curious, study issues that interest you, expand your horizons. Just think how many objects in the world are worthy of attention, and at the same time how often you can meet boring, narrow-minded people. Don’t be like them, study, travel, engage in self-development.
Find your calling. A charismatic personality strives for self-realization. You can express yourself through work or hobbies. If you find professional sphere, in which your talents will be useful, or you get carried away by some activity in free time, which means you can infect other people with your own enthusiasm.
Interesting people are those who love their work and are happy to immerse themselves in it headlong.
Try to be a well-rounded person. Pay attention to all your talents and abilities. Limited people They are not of as much interest to others as addicted people.
The art of conversation
Learn to share your knowledge and experience. Become excellent conversationalist. To do this, you need to improve your storytelling and listening skills.
To become a good storyteller, you need to learn to express your own thoughts beautifully, correctly and accurately. Reading good literature and constant practice in writing and writing will help you master this talent. oral speech.
Besides, you should learn to notice interesting details, become more attentive.
Helps you with listening skills eye contact with the interlocutor and, again, attentiveness, as well as demonstrating that you understand the person. Of course, there is no need to interrupt the speaker.
Self-acceptance
A person who, first of all, accepts himself becomes attractive to others. Try to see the virtues in yourself first and foremost. It’s better to forget about shortcomings that you cannot correct.
Self-respect, sincere self-love, self-acceptance makes a person worthy of love from others. Be self-sufficient person, and people will be drawn to you. Strong people Those who are looking not for approval, but for simple communication, are truly interesting to others.
Under any circumstances, try to remain yourself. Don't betray your principles by blindly following the crowd. Know how to defend own point vision. Learn to resist unwanted influence and manipulation, maintain your originality. Charismatic person lives in harmony with himself and is not afraid to follow his chosen path.
How to interest your interlocutor? How to become interesting in conversation? How to attract people and be able to communicate with any interlocutor? We will talk about all this in our article.
If you want to be interesting to your interlocutor, talk to him about what interests him, copy his behavior and be similar. After all, people like interlocutors who have similar interests - so says simple theory, accessible to everyone. And really, what’s so complicated about that?
But, as often happens, one thing comes out in theory, but something completely different in practice. Not all people can find common interests and general topics for communication, and you simply don’t always understand the topic that the interlocutor is talking about. Therefore, if you suddenly have such a problem, below are several practical advice in order not to be boring person and interest the interlocutor in the conversation.
1. Your interlocutor’s sphere of interest consists of several categories: “people”, “place”, “time”, “values”, “process”, “things”. Usually people have a few favorite things that they like to talk about, and the rest do not excite them much.
2. In order to be interesting to the interlocutor, it will be useful to identify those categories that are interesting to him. To do this, listen to what the interlocutor is saying, if you have not yet started the conversation, or alternatively, unobtrusively inquire about his interests, try to prove to him your similarities and find common points contact.
3. In a conversation, try to determine the character of your interlocutor (just don’t succumb to first impressions) and his mood at the moment. current moment. This will help you avoid conflicts and presenting yourself in a bad light.
4. It’s better to imagine your shortcomings as a continuation of your advantages, unobtrusively emphasizing them, maybe even with humor. This will help you not to scare off the person and create a positive image of you as a person who does not hide his shortcomings, but does not show them off either.
5. For a better understanding in practice, it is also worth getting to know each type of people separately in order to promptly determine the type of interlocutor and adapt to him.
So, here we go:
1. An interlocutor who is interested in people will first of all talk about the environment, some personalities. It is important to him who he communicates with, how they communicate with him and what his environment is like. He likes to express opinions about other people.
2. An interlocutor who is interested in a place is primarily interested in the space in which he is located and the things that surround him. He may have traveled a lot and likes to talk about his favorite sights and places in your city.
3. An interlocutor who is interested in time will, oddly enough, be interested in time and deadlines. Everything related to the passage of time is his strong point. Maybe you'll hear it in conversation last story about how he left home late and was almost late for work, or nostalgia for the old times in which he lived.
4. An interlocutor who is interested in values will tell you about his view of the world and, perhaps, compare them with others. He can act in his own way, if he values personal freedom, and do so unpleasant work because “that’s the way it should be.” Usually such people look at the world pragmatically, looking for some benefit in everything, for themselves and, perhaps, others.
5. An interlocutor who is interested in the process of execution and the sequence of execution will ask you not about what he needs to do, but HOW to do it. He can have good comparison and analysis skills, and put everything into perspective, acting step by step. Also, keep in mind that for most people, the pleasure and emotions gained from doing something are also important.
6. An interlocutor who is interested in objects will pay attention to the objects around him. He will probably pay attention to where the TV is and what kind of TV it is; in his speech you can often hear the names of some things, perhaps not only material, but also spiritual.
It is worth noting that people’s interests can be combinations, and completely pure type you won't find it anywhere.
And the main advice that can be given in this article is more practice and own experience. Use the theoretical knowledge you receive, but draw your own conclusions.
Hello, dear ladies! Very often I hear from girls such phrases as “I’m boring”, “I can’t be alone for a long time”, “I’m not fun to be with” and so on. The main problem is that women do not understand how to become interesting to themselves. Today I would like to talk about exactly this and find out what needs to be done in similar situation. How not to turn into a jester, not to go crazy from loneliness and find inner harmony.
Why do you need this
Let's start by finding out why you want to become interesting. And even better - for whom.
There are two options: for yourself and for others. The point is that for good result will have to use different approach, depending on the answer to the question why.
If you are doing this for yourself, then we will talk about internal development, communicating with yourself, looking for activities that will develop your potential. Here the path lies through self-knowledge and self-study. In this case, you don’t care at all about the opinions of others, about their attitude towards you. And often, the attitude of others even harms in such a situation.
In the case when you want to become interesting to others, things are completely different. Here, the opinions of others and the attitude of others are very important. IN in this case it will be very important concept the soul of the company. After all, these are the people who are the most popular.
In any case, there are some general principles and provisions that can be applied in both options. This way, you can become interesting both to yourself and to be cheerful, sociable and entertaining in company.
She's her own boss
The first thing I would like to talk about is self-sufficiency. This quality will be useful to you in both cases. If you want to learn to be at peace with yourself, then you definitely need to acquire a similar character trait.
The point is that you should not do something for a man, for a girlfriend, for your mother, for your son or anyone else. Your life is in your hands. You have your own thoughts, your own attitude towards things. You and only you are responsible for your actions. You do not depend on others and their opinions of you, but at the same time you treat everyone with respect and dignity. This is where that harmony is.
If you want to be the life of the party, then you need self-sufficiency in order to perfectly understand the difference between useful and important advice from others and simple envy and hypocrisy. This quality will teach you to listen to the opinions of your friends and draw conclusions. Don't blindly trust all words.
I have already raised the issue of this quality in the article “”. I'm sure it will be extremely useful to you. Be sure to read it.
Work and hobbies
Another very important point- that's what you do. Your job or hobby should bring you great pleasure. You yourself should experience delight and interest in your activity. The girl who sits at home all day and scrolls through the news feed social networks will not be interesting either to herself or to those around her.
Have you noticed how the eyes of people who find something they love light up? How do they know how to infect everyone around them with their positivity and positive energy? You can do this too! You just have to start. This can be absolutely any activity. You know yourself well. Remember your childhood, look into your dreams, shake up your imagination.
If you think that your work is completely uninteresting, boring, monotonous and no one will listen about it, then you simply don’t know how to talk beautifully. One of my friends worked as a completely ordinary bank clerk. Loans, financial schemes, numbers, papers and nothing exciting. But he talked about his work with such enthusiasm that everyone sat with their mouths open and did not blink while he talked about his work.
Try to look at your work differently. Find what is interesting about her, why you love her, what admires and inspires you. Explore new facets of your occupation, expand your knowledge, improve your skills. Grow and learn.
If you are currently sitting at home and cannot find a suitable job, then the article “” will be very useful for you. Remember that nothing is impossible in the world.
Don't lose your self
On this path, it is very important not to lose yourself and not become the generally accepted template of an “interesting person.” It is always important to remain yourself and not betray your principles. Many people, in an attempt to become interesting and not be boring, lose their zest. That is why I talked about self-sufficiency in the first place.
The more versatile you are, the broader your views on the world, the more interesting it will be to talk with you. After all, when a person is very fixated on one thing with him and there is nothing special to talk about. For development read more books, watch a movie different eras, study art, pay attention to the exact sciences.
Moreover, a sense of humor will greatly help you along this path. Agree, it’s a pleasure to be in a company where there is someone who knows how to joke. I haven't met girls with a good sense of humor very often, but that's not their fault. In the world it is believed that a woman cannot joke. That's why young ladies don't even try to learn this. But jokes, like mathematical formulas, you can learn. It all depends on you.
Dear women, I am sure that you will definitely succeed in your plans. I would advise you to first learn to be interesting to yourself. Then becoming interesting to others will not be so difficult.
I would be very glad to hear your stories. Have you ever done anything to be the center of attention? Do you have a friend who is the life of the party? And what do you think makes it different from others?
“I craved connection—I wanted to talk to someone. Over time, I began to realize that I needed to do something to combat loneliness. If I continued to be alone in silence, I would simply go crazy.” These words belong to a man who spent five years in solitary confinement and was deprived of one of the most important human needs - communication.
Indeed, it is very important to speak up! Everyone is built that way. This is an indispensable way of expressing feelings. For example, if you want your spouse to know how dear he is to you, you need to talk about your feelings. But for many, communication is not an easy task, it is a lot of work, which is often avoided.
What obstacles may arise on the path to art? interesting conversation or communication? How to become an interesting conversationalist?
He was talking to himself. An interesting conversationalist, though.
Author unknown
Obstacles to conversation
1. Shyness
One of the most difficult problems on the way to communication. Shy people They close themselves off from others. Why? Perhaps they were brought up in a culture in which they did not particularly communicate with each other, but, on the contrary, were separated from others.2. Lack of self-confidence
Many people may spend years feeling afraid of looking stupid or being criticized. Therefore, they find it much easier to avoid talking to others.3. Inferiority complex
This is the case when a person does not mind communicating, but considers himself an “incapable loser”, so he prefers to suffer in silence.There is another side to the coin: many people feel free to communicate, but when someone else is speaking, they tend to interrupt, thereby depriving their interlocutors of the joy of intimate communication.
How to overcome these difficulties and learn to talk with others in an interesting and warm way?
Listen, be interested, be attentive
If you're at a loss as to what exactly to say, don't despair. You actually know a lot more than you think.And if you often catch yourself thinking that no one wants to listen to you or that no one is interested in you, analyze how much you can listen. You don't have to talk all the time to keep a conversation going.
Both interlocutors must speak. In this case, you need to be guided by the principle: “Take care not only of your needs, but also of the needs of others.”
To do this:
- be interested in others, their state of mind. Before talking about yourself or asking for anything, learn to ask about your interlocutor’s affairs, for example: “How are you feeling?” or “Is there anything I can do to help?”;
- pay attention to the facial expressions of the interlocutor - it says more about the feelings of the other than his words.
A taciturn interlocutor can lead to despair, a talkative one - to crime.
Don Aminado
But what should you do if you are talking to someone who is not good at conversation?
Still, give the other person the opportunity to express their feelings. To do this, ask tactful questions. Let's say you're talking to an older person.
Ask him about how the world has changed or family life since his youth. In addition to the fact that you will learn a lot yourself, you will please your interlocutor.
How to become an interesting person and develop charisma
In society, and especially among public figures, there are very often people who do not have a spectacular appearance or high status, and in general, at first glance you cannot say that such a person can be in demand in a team, have many friends and acquaintances. However, from the first minutes of meeting it becomes clear that this person is incredibly interesting personality, attracting people with her charm. In such cases, it is customary to say that the person is very charismatic.There is a widespread belief that charisma cannot be developed as a skill, and that this feature character is given to people by nature. There is a certain amount of truth in this; a predisposition to charismatic behavior allows a person to behave more confidently, naturally and naturally, but this does not mean at all that those unfortunate people deprived of this gift are doomed to vegetate outside the social circle.
In order to take the first step towards becoming, you need to perform one simple action, which, despite its simplicity, is stubbornly ignored by many people. It's about about the development respectful attitude to yourself, you need to love yourself, accept all the shortcomings and weaknesses, and then try to focus on the benefits.
In self-love you should not look for selfish motives, because this is absolutely natural. Loving yourself does not mean exalting yourself over everyone around you; you need to understand that a person who is unable to love himself has no chance of earning the love of another person.
Only by beginning to respect oneself does a person become open to accepting love from the outside.
The next step directly follows from the previous one. Self-respect automatically increases self-esteem, and this is very important for successful interaction with others. It is impossible to become a charismatic person if numerous complexes, fears and other consequences of low self-esteem stand in the way. Next to the charismatic and sociable person, others also begin to feel more relaxed, relaxed and at ease.
A closed person, by his behavior, makes those around him feel awkward, and as a result, they try to stop communicating with such a closed person as soon as possible. There is no need to try to be someone else, because it is impossible to pretend all your life, and you cannot run away from yourself. It’s much easier to be yourself, stop being ashamed of your shortcomings, and this great job, which can only be accomplished with considerable effort.
As you know, any skill develops during training. It is impossible to learn to cook well, play the musical instrument, understand technology, only on the basis theoretical knowledge. The same applies to the ability to communicate and win over others. To develop this skill, you need to communicate a lot with different people, preferably with strangers. Such training will help you develop the ability to quickly navigate a conversation, and a pleasant bonus will be the appearance of new acquaintances, and maybe even friends.
It is much easier for smart and well-read interlocutors to maintain any conversation, and therefore it is more pleasant to communicate with such people. You need to read a lot of literature on the most different topics, people very sensitively feel a well-read person and have respect for such a person.
Thus, we inevitably transfer a decent and fair attitude towards ourselves to the people around us. If the relationship is positive, then the return on interaction will be positive. You need to follow the golden rule and treat people the best you can to get the same in return, then no problem will arise.
Video: How to be an interesting conversationalist in any situation
10 tips on how to become an interesting person and conversationalist
Pay attention to the people who belong to your social circle. Agree that some of your friends attract more attention, they are listened to more, they are sympathized with, while others remain unnoticed, even if they make attempts to be in the center of attention.Obviously, few people will enjoy the company of a boring, constantly whining person who is behind the times. After all, in the process of communication, the interlocutor wants not only to speak out for himself, but also to learn for himself interesting information, recharge your energy from your partner.
In order to please people, you need to be an interesting conversationalist yourself. By following our advice, you will feel that your life is filled with colors, saturated with events, experience is accumulated, and your circle of acquaintances is expanding.
1. Become a good communicator
- Learn to listen carefully;
- Ask questions to your interlocutor, so you will demonstrate that his story really interests you;
- Express your emotions about what you heard. For example: “I am outraged by his action...”, “how did you manage to do this...”, “it’s so wonderful that you did it all...”;
- Keep the conversation going interesting facts from life, books, articles;
- No ridicule of the feelings of the interlocutor;
- Don’t lecture, don’t insist, but advise and recommend.
3. Have your own hobbies
When you are passionate about something, your eyes light up, you are overwhelmed with emotions, you are full of energy, which is transmitted to others.4. Experiment and share your results and experiences
It will be useful for others, you will be grateful.5. Don't sit at home
Attend more different events (exhibitions, concerts, lectures, meetings, sports competitions). There you will definitely see something interesting, meet acquaintances, and perhaps meet someone. You will have many topics to discuss with your friends.6. Register on social networks
Connect as a friend more people, even if you don’t know them closely, find groups of like-minded hobbyists.Post it on your page interesting photos, join in discussions, express your opinion.
7. Connect with a variety of people
Don't be afraid to meet new people. Know that if you are active, you are interesting to other people. They want to listen to you, your opinion and experience are valuable and useful, don’t doubt it.8. Be confident
Remember that you, with your characteristics, with your “cockroaches in your head,” are unique, and therefore interesting to others. If all people on earth were the same, we would all die out of boredom.9. Play sports
Yes, it’s not easy, especially if you’ve never even done exercise before. But you don’t have to exhaust yourself with exercise equipment if you don’t like it and can’t afford it. You can start with brisk walking or running.People who play sports are always more confident and energetic.
10. Look after yourself
The first thing that catches your eye is the person's appearance. Watch your clothes, shoes, hairstyle, makeup. Try not to be old-fashioned or dress tastelessly.If you don’t like today’s fashion, you need to study the rules for choosing a classic wardrobe and follow them.
Remember that by trying to become interesting to others, you will first of all become interesting to yourself. As a result, your self-esteem will increase, you will no longer be visited by sad thoughts, due to the variety of interests and the workload of exciting things, you will have no time to cry, and there is no need. Life will be filled with colors and meaning.
Conclusion
Remember that no matter how difficult it may be for you to communicate with others today, you can always improve it. Don't forget that the best conversation starters are friendliness, tact and good feeling humor.Develop these qualities in yourself, and communicating with you will be much more interesting!
Sometimes we do everything for others. We spend so much effort, we give our all. And in response? No thanks! Is it really that hard to just say “thank you”?
Maybe it's not worth doing good deeds for people, because they would never do something like that to me? Tired of it. It's time to become the same. As they are to me, so am I to them.
Every time we come to this conclusion. Already read large number literature where they teach you to say “no”. But as soon as someone once again asks us for something, we undertake to fulfill his request, completely forgetting all the advice we have learned by heart. It is better to agree than to later experience a heavy feeling of guilt and suffer from the fact that you are not loved.
You do something for a person, and for a moment it becomes easier. And then a feeling of resentment and injustice arises, an understanding comes that the action taken was contrary to our own interests. We were once again taken advantage of and forgotten.
It seems like it has always been like this, since childhood. Everyone is just waiting to use our kindness and dependability for their own purposes. It's time to stop this. It's time to learn to refuse! But how to do this? How to become bad?
Who is a good girl?
Before answering these questions, we need to understand why this happens? Why are some people unable to refuse any request and try their best to please others?System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan calls this behavior complex good girl. As this psychic science explains, this complex is inherent in owners of the anal-visual ligament of vectors.
A vector is a set of innate properties and desires of a person, responsible for his preferences, way of thinking, value system and behavior. Modern man has on average three to five vectors. Some of them create stable connections that manifest themselves in certain life scenarios.
There are people whom nature has awarded with phenomenal memory. They are necessary for humanity to accumulate acquired experience and knowledge and transfer them to future generations. They become good teachers and teachers, professionals in their field, experts. We are talking about people with an anal vector.
These are the ones responsible decent people who want to be good at everything. And people with anal-visual ligament vectors especially. In childhood, these are the most obedient, “golden” children.
Firstly, for children with a visual vector, like no other, emotional connections with their mother are important, so they are ready to do anything to ensure that these connections are not interrupted. These are very emotional children who can hardly tolerate their mother’s coldness or ignorance.
Secondly, the value of the anal vector is positive assessment actions, praise, especially from the mother, because the mother is no less valuable to them. Therefore, they make every effort to please their mother and receive well-deserved praise.
But sometimes adults abuse praise, praise undeservedly, or, conversely, do not praise deservedly, taking advantage of the child’s desire to be good in everything. By resorting to manipulation of praise, parents develop an endorphin dependence on it in their child. Even as an adult, such a person will strive to please others in everything.
We are all different
System-vector psychology Yuri Burlan says that for a person with the anal vector it is important that everything is equal and fair. If he did something, made an effort, then these efforts should be appreciated.We look at other people through ourselves, we believe that what is valuable and important to us is also important to other people. For example, we value praise and gratitude, and we believe that this is true for everyone. But for others it may be very different.
For example, people with the skin vector are not used to saying “thank you,” because they act from a position of benefit. Best thanks for them it is expressed by something material. And people with a sound vector in severe conditions They may not hear us at all, and may not pay any attention to those around us.
When people don't behave the way we expect, we get offended by them. We don’t understand how one can not thank or praise someone for a good deed. Grievances They don’t let us live in peace.
But at the same time, when it seems to us that we are doing too much for people, that it is time to stop, and we are refusing something, a heavy feeling of guilt flares up in us. Even when we do something not good enough for others, we feel uncomfortable. Life turns out to be in constant distortions: first we are offended that we are taken advantage of, then we suffer from guilt that we did not do something. This causes great discomfort and ruins life.
In the visual vector, the reason for the desire to please everyone can also be the increased significance of emotional connections. People with anal-visual ligament vectors may feel that if they are not kind and nice to everyone, they will not be loved, which is a great stress for them.
How to find a way out of the situation
We cannot change ourselves or others. What to do? How to live with this? Becoming bad is not a solution. After all, this will not solve the problem, but will only worsen our condition.The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan shows the way out. First of all, you need to understand yourself, your desires and aspirations. Having realized where the need for other people's approval came from, we begin to understand what motivates us in such moments. And we, not needing praise, do not strive to please everyone. We also begin to love ourselves, rather than looking for everyone’s love and approval for ourselves.
At the training on system-vector psychology Yuri Burlan, childhood traumas are worked through, the mechanisms of our behavior become clear, the good girl complex goes away. This is evidenced by reviews from people who have completed the training.
