My basic life values. How to determine your life values

Hello, dear friends!

Every person living on the blue planet faces the same list of important things every day. Some of them are familiar, banal and even everyday. Others are subject to completely different laws.

Each new day welcomes with new circumstances and rules of the game, which is able to fray already shaky nerves. If difficulties arise, great value have the life values of a person, which successfully serve him as a kind of guide in the Universal space of choices and decisions.

The value system helps to qualitatively answer the question: “Am I going there?”, “Have I chosen the right path for my full-scale implementation?”

Understanding the essence of your beliefs and position, it is much easier to overcome the difficulties that arise. People know that the conviction that the intended path is correct will not allow them to leave the route.

When the statements, and most importantly the actions of the individual, are in complete agreement with life values, then all aspects of the manifestations become more massive and much more interesting, and therefore, we are satisfied with ourselves.

But when words and behavior diverge from the truths learned by the subconscious, then at that very moment an uncomfortable and “grinding” feeling arises in the soul, as if irritation and panic will tear apart from the inside in a matter of minutes!

This internal sensation reminds the person that things have gone wrong. Moreover, constantly being in such a depressed state is fraught with huge problems not only with the psyche, but also with health!

Only in the case of unshakable faith in congenial values, a person will be able to maintain the required level of self-esteem, confidence and simple, human happiness. But how to determine the correct source of the axioms?

We decide on the main criteria

The main task of an individual is to identify a list of values as early as possible, which is fundamental. This urgency is due to the fact that by taking such a step, a person begins to more effectively shape not only his character, but also his actions and long-term plans.

It is worth understanding that there are no universal laws applicable to the general public. We are all different, and it is precisely because of this that the significant guidelines of one will always diverge from the truths of another, and the fifth or seventh simply will not consider it important.

And yet, by what criteria should the selection be made? I suggest you familiarize yourself with the most common aspects of choice, which, to one degree or another, has special treatment to yourself.

1. Her Majesty Love

This is perhaps the most well-known truth for women. And the point here is not at all about romance or candlelight dinner. The question does not concern dating, family or the “candy-bouquet” period.

Each of us is capable of experiencing this inspiring feeling. And you can see this in relation to your family or work. But now I focus your attention on showing love to other people, to those whom you may never have the opportunity to meet.

Universal love for one’s own kind, and sometimes for the whole race, can cultivate tolerance and compassion in an individual. And when we nevertheless come to it, we discover an amazing facet pure goodness, not solid negative qualities.

2. Deep understanding

We need to be understood and heard. Think about how many of us can be tormented by malice or anger simply because there is no desire to delve into other people's troubles?

By accepting introductory circumstances and data, reconciling and understanding others, you can not only gain complete control of the situation that has arisen, but also find a special approach to solving it.

3. Respect

This is one of the most important selection criteria. Like most deep values for the individual - this has its own unique niche. Acting under the auspices of such a respectful motto, you can achieve unrealistic heights.

Perhaps respect for many aspects of life ordinary person. It manifests itself in personal relationships, in the work atmosphere and, of course, when communicating with your “I” and needs.

4. Iron discipline

Many people confuse the term with a tedious routine and the banal execution of a mechanical routine. But in fact, discipline closely borders not only on punctuality, but also on respect for other people’s time.

Thus, the habit of bringing things to a logical end, adhering to self-woven rules, an individual characterizes himself as an educated, responsible person.

5. Honesty and fairness

Wanting to be a worthy reason to be proud of his own actions, an individual can make a choice towards this amazing value, which will serve him long years faith and support.

The fact is that honest people They do not tolerate hypocrisy, rudeness, deception and many negative qualities that persistently strive to flash through their thoughts.

Moreover, the definition of justice as a fundamental leitmotif in life allows us to build others on the same solid foundation.

I can endlessly sort through the layers of human “diamonds” that, with their light, help me walk through the world, receiving support. This list of basic criteria and values can safely include, without which it is difficult to climb up, and patience, which helps to achieve more, and friendship, and forgiveness, and especially -.

All our values are a kind of compass that allows us to navigate the world's oceans of events with an invincible ship. The initial list of such may reach ten. But it is very important to be able to carry out detailed analysis, keeping no more than 6. Do you have problems with your income or relationships?

This happens because the model or picture of the internal world, unfortunately, does not coincide with the external one. Do you find it particularly difficult to make decisions? It's all about the lack of clear guidance and an answer to the question: “What do I really want?”

Only following the whispers life guidelines, a person will allow himself to live fully and consciously. When you have crystallized attitudes in your head, it is much easier to receive support, regardless of the circumstances outside. So, what can be called the basic values of life?

The main ones among the main ones

Psychologically and physically healthy personality can afford to form 3 main circles of “truths”, gradually adding “particularly personal” ones to it.

1. Relationships and personal life

Hidden here is the most powerful message of the thrifty, respectful attitude to close people. The desire to start a family, have children and live a happy, family life.

We can say that these are the values of inner joy from a partner, romance, entertainment and a colossal charge of energy through travel.

2. Work, life’s work, purely business

Why do you go to work? What do you get in return? And most importantly, are you happy with it? The desire to become better, earn more and strive to conquer, along with the words “home, life and ideal comfort” are combined here. Such value helps to move towards obtaining new status, power and increasing the level of self-esteem.

That is, hidden here is the desire to work hard in order to get to the top of your Everest! This is the value that has direct relation the next point indirectly relates to ideas, plans.

3. Comprehensive self-development

The main task is to know inner world and tame the external one, shouting: “Here I am!” It is impossible to build a good business without certain skills and knowledge. Therefore, the value of this order is aimed at accumulative, invisible wealth that helps a person develop the skill in which he sees himself.

Don’t forget that they work with completely different vibrations, carrying with them a powerful charge of energy.

Friends, this is where I will end today’s reflection. Subscribe to updates, and in the comments share your opinion regarding the topic of the material.

See you on the blog, bye-bye!

We rarely ask ourselves questions like “Why do we live”, “What is our life value”, etc. Without saying this, we are nevertheless guided by certain principles and choose the most important thing for ourselves if it is impossible to save everything. For example: “love”, “freedom” or “work” is more valuable to someone than “family”. If you don't have to choose between them, everything coexists peacefully. What if you need to make a certain choice? It will be done in favor of what is most important for a person, no matter how it may seem from the outside to be a wrong or rash decision. Of course, it is possible that over time a person will blame himself for having once made the “wrong” choice. Only he always chooses in the present, and in this present there are different values.
Are there life values that are equally important for people regardless of their age, gender and what country in the world they live in? Of course have. This is family, health, work. In addition to this, people name other values, such as: education, love, friendship, self-esteem, career, power, money, sex...
It would be interesting to compare the values of “fathers” and “children,” because their differences can interfere with mutual understanding between generations.
What do our teenagers choose, we found out their answers from 130 students of 5th and 9th grades from school No. 3 in Konakovo. 45% of respondents gave " happy family"in 1st place among other 17 life values. 85% of children included “family” among their five most significant values. In 2nd place was “friendship” (58%). Although relationships with peers play a role in adolescence vital role, only 6% gave her an honorable first place. Indeed, the family continues to play a vital role in the process of growing up as a teenager. He needs wise mentoring from adults, but does not show it and rebels against his parents, striving for communication as equals.

Not all, but only 54% of schoolchildren, consider “education” a vital value. Among fifth graders, only 45% share this opinion. More smaller number schoolchildren (only 18%) strive for high achievements in sports or art.
Some boys and girls build the following series of values:
Education – work, career – money, wealth. Or even “cooler”: work, career - money, wealth - fame, admiration and respect of others.
Among teenagers 10-11 and 15-16 years old the same a small amount of those who begin to recognize the “well-being of the state” as a value. “Science as the knowledge of something new” is almost the most important in the list of values. last places(from 9th to 17th). Only one young man considers “science” a priority value for himself, along with “power” and “success”.
36% of teenagers choose the value “happiness of loved ones.”
The answers of adults (30 people were interviewed) were very diverse. Almost all the values listed in the questionnaire were named by them, with the exception of the value “food”. And for 13% of teenagers, food is worth talking about as a value. Actually, it has long been known that there is a hierarchy of needs, and the first place in this pyramid is occupied by physiological needs. These include food, clothing, sleep, and rest. A person is able to think and strive to satisfy higher needs only when his primary (physiological) needs are satisfied. No wonder there is a saying: “An empty belly is deaf to learning.”
In 13% of adults, as a similar primary need housing: your own apartment or house.
The main values of surveyed men and women aged 22 to 52 years are “family” and “health.” “Work” comes in second place. For 66% of respondents, the category “happiness of loved ones” is very important. The number of choices in favor of “love” and “friendship” is an order of magnitude lower. 26% of people name them as important life values. Education does not have a very high rating. Only 20% of adults consider education an important life value. About the same number (20-25%) choose “the well-being of the state” and strive for self-respect. For 15% of adults, respect from others is necessary. No more than 5% strive for a career or power. The attitude towards money as a kind of life value was revealed in 20% of adolescents and 10% of adults.
It turns out that the values of “fathers” and “children” are very similar, although in each specific case this is far from the case. And how exactly, you can discuss after reading this material. I wish you pleasant discoveries.

Every day we are faced with the need to solve some problems and circumstances that constantly test our strength. And in today’s world of all kinds of worries and stress, our life values play a huge role, being a kind of pointers on the path of life.

If everything we say and do matches our expectations, life is correct and meaningful, and we ourselves are happy and confident. However, it often turns out that our actions are at odds with our deepest beliefs, which is the reason for irritability. And this is an indicator that something is wrong. In addition, such feelings can make us unhappy, and only when we always act according to our conscience does the feeling remain. self-esteem, and a state of happiness.

Life values a person can safely be called his internal compass, against which it is necessary to compare all steps. After all, when there are certain attitudes, it is much easier for a person to think through actions and actions, which is the basis of a productive and fulfilling life.

But let's think about what could be our life values.

Personal values are a reflection of our needs, desires, and everything that we especially value in life. Values are huge driving force, which can be considered as a guide with the help of which we create our essence. Defining your values will help you figure out what to pursue and what to avoid. This will allow you to go through life with a strong inner compass. And finally, in the most difficult situations Personal values can serve as a reminder of what you truly value. Thus, identifying them will help you stay true to yourself in any circumstance.

Steps

Tracking emerging values

Clear space for “your” time. Since determining your personal values requires so-called soul-searching, create your own space for this. Turn off your phone, listen to soothing music, or do anything that helps you relax and focus on the present.

Write down the moments of your greatest happiness and deepest sadness. Remember all your ups and downs, while highlighting the details and feelings associated with each memory. Include in the list only those that have had an impact greatest influence on your life and well-being, not on what earned you praise or recognition from others.

For example, you can remember the evening on which you met your partner. best friend. It may not have been the most great achievement in your life, but on that day you may have learned a lot about your personality and how to start making friends and sharing experiences with other people.
Identify the themes that run through your most vivid memories, good and bad. They may also be informed by your spiritual or political leanings. You will likely identify several things that make you feel unfair, sad, angry, or all of the above. Try to do the same with happy moments.

Let's consider the common values of humanity. We all have relatively similar, very basic needs that come from the constitutions and evolution of human culture. The things we value ultimately stem from our needs - that's why we are so passionate and committed to our values! Studying human needs will give you a powerful impetus to understand your own values. More or less universal needs include:
- Physical well-being (food, rest, safety)
- Autonomy (freedom of choice, self-expression)
- Peace (hope, calm)
- Feelings (praise, participation, understanding)
- Connection (warmth, respect, attention)
- Entertainment (adventure, humor, joy)
Sketch out an initial list of personal values. Include items without which you cannot imagine your life. In it you can connect personal experience with your culture's values as well as universal human needs.
Record how you select these values. These may vary depending on the strategy you used. Often the strategy comes from the religion of the family in which you grew up. By knowing this, you will have a better understanding of the values that allow you to do things that you can be proud of.
- For example, you have a value - high position in society. But how will you follow it - will you wear designer clothes or become a human rights activist? If you value a deep sense of peace and order, would you set up a home essential oil distillery in your home? Or maybe you are used to resolving conflicts that arise in your family? Make connections between your values and your daily life.
Checking and balancing personal values
1. Determine what drives you in life. One way to test your values is to spend an entire day observing and identifying what drives you in life. If you have a certain priority value and you find yourself in a situation in which it is threatened, you will feel anxious, vulnerable, or even angry. What you hear or see on the news can also change the course of your life.
  - For example, your boss might tell you that your knit vest isn't the most appropriate outfit for work. Instead of just feeling a little upset, you might feel angry or even irritated. In this case, you can say that your values are acceptance own decisions and autonomy.
2. Look at decisions made under the influence of your values. This can be done using both real and fictitious situations. For example, you value independence and are considering the possibility of moving in with a new roommate. Given your worth, what will you do? If you value peace and spontaneity, but your job takes up 70 hours a week, how can you avoid stress and internal conflict? IN similar situations Understanding your values can really help you make creative decisions that reflect your true self.
  - Keep in mind that you will see your worth most clearly only when you accept real solution. Sometimes we are so enamored with a certain value that we believe it will definitely trigger adoption. the best solutions(although this is not required).
3. Decide how you will defend it. If you are in difficult situation, and you find it difficult to defend the correctness of your value, think about whether you should speak up or not. Are you unable to live according to your value because everything in the world is changing? What value is at risk and why?
  - Let's say you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate your work, and you set a goal to get recognition for your efforts. Is it possible to solve this problem by talking? Would you enjoy it if your partner began to express gratitude to you?
  - Another way to check is as follows. Speak to the community about an issue. You may be concerned about funding cuts public schools– would you like to know more about this, or did it somehow offend you? Depending on the answer, your value could be either a concern for future generations or a call to action.

What is a sense of life? How to live a full and fulfilling happy life? What is truly valuable in life? Am I living right? These are the main questions that we are all trying to find an answer to... In this article I offer you new opportunity reconsider your life priorities and find answers to these “eternal” questions for yourself.

When I became seriously interested in this topic and started searching, I discovered that the best answers to these questions come from people who have come face to face with their own death in their lives.

I studied best-selling books about people who found out they were going to die very soon and changed their priorities in life; collected various studies on the topic “what do people regret before they die”; added a little eastern philosophy and the result is this list of five true values in the life of every person.

If it weren’t for my illness, I would never have thought about how wonderful life is.

1. Identity

Everything in life has its purpose. Every living creature on the planet has its own mission. And each of us has our own role. By realizing our unique talents and abilities, we gain happiness and wealth. The path to our uniqueness and mission lies through our desires and dreams since childhood.

Individuality - highest value in the world.
Osho.

One woman (Bronnie Vee) worked for many years in a hospice where her job was to provide relief. state of mind dying patients. From her observations, she found that the most common regret people have before death is the regret that they did not have the courage to live the life that was right for them, and not the life that others expected of them. Her patients regretted that they never realized many of their dreams. And only at the end of the journey did they realize that this was only a consequence of the choice they made.

Make a list of your talents and abilities, as well as a list of your favorite activities in which they are expressed. This is how you will find your unique talents. Use them to serve others. To do this, ask yourself as often as possible: “How can I be useful (to the world, to the people with whom I come into contact)? How can I serve?”

Feel free to quit your unloved job! Don't be afraid of poverty, failures and mistakes! Trust yourself and don't worry about the opinions of others. Always believe that God will take care of you. It’s better to take a risk once than to regret later that you lived a dull and mediocre life, “killing yourself” at the same time. unloved job to the detriment of yourself and your loved ones.

Always remember that you are unique, and your mission is to give the maximum of your uniqueness to the world. Only then will you find true happiness. This is what God intended.

Discover your divinity, find your unique talent, and you can create any wealth you want.
Deepak Chopra

2. Self-discovery and spiritual growth

Stop being an animal!.. Of course, we need to satisfy physiological needs, but only in order to develop spiritually. People mainly chase material well-being and are concerned, first of all, with things, and not with the soul. Then, as the primary meaning and purpose human life are to realize that he is a spiritual being and, in fact, he does not need anything material.

We are not human beings who have occasional spiritual experiences. We are spiritual beings who have human experiences from time to time.
Deepak Chopra

Realize God within you. Man is a transitional being from animal to spiritual. And each of us has the resources to make this transition. Practice the “Be” state more often, when you have no thoughts and don’t need anything, when you simply experience life and enjoy its fullness. The state “here and now” is already a spiritual experience.

There are people among us, not many, but there are some who understand that it is necessary to start saving money for old age while it is far away, so that a certain amount has time to accumulate... So why not at the same time take care of what is more important than money, about soul?
Eugene O'Kelly, "Chasing the Fleeing Light"

And there is no need to improve yourself, you are already perfect, because you are spiritual beings. Engage in self-disclosure.

To know yourself as well as possible in order to be as great as possible for the world is the most important task person.
Robin Sharma

Even when you achieve your goals, true success is not associated with the achievement, but with the changes in consciousness that occur as an inevitable consequence of your progress towards these goals. It's not about achieving goals, but about what happens to you in the process of achieving it.

3. Openness

How often, in the face of death, people regret that they never had the courage to express love to their family and friends! They regret that they often suppressed their emotions and feelings because they were afraid of how others would react. They regret not allowing themselves to be happier. Only at the end of the journey did they realize that being happy or not was a matter of choice.

Every moment we choose a reaction to a particular situation, and each time we interpret events in our own way. Be carefull! Watch your choices every moment.

What goes around comes around.
Folk wisdom

What do you need to do to become more open?

Give free rein to your emotions and feelings. Ride the coolest ride and scream to your heart's content; share your feelings with other people; become an optimist - rejoice, laugh, have fun, no matter what.
Accept yourself and life as it is. Allow yourself to be who you are and let events happen on their own. Your task is to dream, move and observe what miracles life brings to you. And if something doesn’t work out the way you wanted, then it will be even better. Just relax and have fun.

I'm dying and having fun. And I'm going to have fun every day I have.
Randy Pausch "The Last Lecture"

4. Love

It’s sad, but many people only in the face of death realize how little love there was in their life, how little joy and enjoyment they had simple joys life. The world has presented us with so many miracles! But we're too busy. We can't take our eyes off our plans and pressing problems to look at these gifts and enjoy them.

Love is food for the soul. Love is for the soul what food is for the body. Without food the body is weak, without love the soul is weak.
Osho

Most The best way raising a wave of love in your body is gratitude. Start thanking God for everything he gives you every moment: for this food and roof over your head; for this communication; for this clear sky; for everything you see and receive. And when you catch yourself being irritated, immediately ask yourself: “Why should I be grateful now?” The answer will come from the heart, and believe me, it will inspire you.

Love is the energy from which the world is woven. Become a missionary of love! Give people compliments; charge everything you touch with love; give more than you receive...and move through life from your heart, not your head. This is what will tell you the most Right way.

A journey without a heart is never a joyful one. Just to get there you have to work hard. On the contrary, the path that has a heart is always easy; It doesn't take much effort to love him.
Carlos Castaneda

5. Relationships

When life passes and in our daily worries we often lose sight of our family and friends, at the end of the journey we will feel devastation, deep sadness and longing...

Spend time with those you love and appreciate as often as possible. They are the most precious thing you have. Always be open to communication and meeting new people, it’s enriching. Give people your attention and admiration as often as possible - all this will come back to you. Help joyfully and selflessly, give and just as joyfully accept gifts from others.

Bliss is also contagious, like any disease. If you help others be happy, by and large you help yourself to be happy .
Osho

PS: I recently came across an interesting survey on the Internet: “What will you regret before you die?” 70% of participants answered “When the time comes, then we’ll find out... ».

So what will you regret at the end of your journey?