Self-confidence gives you many advantages. It will help you do your job better, get recognition for it, and highly appreciated, as well as achieve a promotion and salary increase. It will also help you attract the attention of the opposite sex. Simply put: it will help you get what you want in life.
On the other hand, shyness and lack of self-confidence can seriously hinder your efforts and prevent you from getting what you want (and deserve). That's why we decided to dedicate an entire article to helping you become more confident. But you must not forget that it is quite complex process. You can't transform into a confident person overnight.
Uncertainty has ruined so many opportunities.
Erich Maria Remarque
12 ways a woman can become self-confident
The 12 methods listed below work more effectively if used consistently and in combination. Self confidence is not innate quality. It's just a habit. And while we know it will take a lot of time and energy to create this habit, the good news is that it is possible at all. It all depends on you.1. Use positive affirmations
In order to feel more confident, you can use positive affirmations - positive statements, designed to reprogram the mind. This includes statements such as: “I am worthy,” “I am a natural leader,” “Everyone loves me,” and the like. There are several ways to apply this method. You can write down your mantra somewhere and repeat it to yourself every morning or evening before going to bed.You can write positive affirmations on a piece of paper and place it somewhere you can see it (on the wall or on the refrigerator), or you can write them directly on the mirror with a marker. This is exactly what I do. When I wash my face in the morning, I have no choice but to look at these inscriptions. I have another interesting thought about how to make positive affirmations a part of your life. I already mentioned this in the addition to the previous article.
2. Fake confidence until you really are.
When people act confidently around others, they begin to feel more confident in themselves. This is one of the most amazing rules of our life. If you want to get something, act as if you already have it. One of the features of how our minds work: the more familiar the idea, the more real it is. How can you make it habitual? Through constant repetition!The more you do and say something, the more you believe it. If you want to be more confident, behave like confident people behave! It will feel a little strange at first, but don't let yourself be deterred. Time will pass, and you will notice that your behavior has become completely natural.
3. Dress smart
If you lack confidence, the easiest way to increase it is by dressing like a successful person. If you are perceived as someone important, you will begin to feel like one! Looking smart is a universally recognized status symbol, so no matter what country you are in, you should always look impeccable. Things like suits, shirts, good shoes, various accessories and gadgets all add to a person's confidence.4. Speak loudly
The way you speak and how you control your voice is directly related to your sense of self-confidence. Shy people, as a rule, speak quite quietly. They don't want to attract attention with a loud voice. You may have noticed this yourself in various meetings. There is always one person who speaks loudest, acts very confidently, sometimes even a little arrogantly. He doesn't care much what others think. There are other people who say little; they stand quietly, and even if they are asked a question, they answer in such a way that they can only be heard with with great difficulty. Next time you speak at a meeting, project your voice, speak up. You will see for yourself the impact this has on your self-confidence.
5. Sit in the front row
Where do you usually sit at large events? Are you in a rush to grab a front row seat or would you rather sit in the back? I often choose the second option, like many other people. The reason is that we don't want to draw attention to ourselves. We prefer to hide in back rows, so as not to expose yourself to the risk of being pulled onto the stage and to avoid having to answer questions.But let me ask you something. Who usually sits in the front row at all official meetings? Who sits in the front row during fashion shows? After all, most often these are the most important people among those invited.
When you sit in the front row, you place yourself among these people. You let others know that you are one of the most important people, so they treat you as such. You will also notice that you yourself begin to behave differently. In this way, you put yourself at the center of attention - outside of your usual comfort zone. All attention is on you. You have no choice but to feel confident. When faced with a situation where there is no alternative, we adapt surprisingly quickly.
In this life, you only need ignorance and self-confidence - and success is guaranteed to you.
Mark Twain
6. Body language
A confident person can be identified by the way he carries himself. Such people have good posture. They keep their heads straight. They look into the eyes of other people and keep an open mind. When a person feels uncomfortable, suffering or down, he tends to close himself off from others. And not only emotionally, but also physically.We try to make ourselves as small as possible so that people don't notice us. We try to curl up, thereby reducing our exposure surface. This behavior shows a lack of confidence. You can increase your self-confidence by using “body language” inherent in man who feels confident. There are many articles on this topic, some of them can be found on our website.
7. Take care of yourself
Quite often, self-doubt is a direct consequence of the fact that for some reason we feel awkward. It could be extra pounds that we would like to hide. Or we don't like our clothes. Maybe the hairstyle is not fashionable. Or the skin is chapped. Or no makeup. There can be many reasons. Look at fashion models or other celebrities. They always feel beautiful, sexy and attractive. And it boosts their self-confidence!Do the same for yourself. Change your hairstyle. Tidy up your nails. Update your wardrobe. Start exercising to become more energetic. When you feel comfortable in your body, you will begin to project good mood onto other people.
8. Play to your strengths
If you constantly think about your shortcomings, sooner or later you will lose most of your confidence. If you fail at so many things and make so many mistakes, then where does confidence come from? Instead of focusing on things you can't do, use your strengths. You may be a natural speaker, an excellent cook, or a super-gifted businessman. Carefully examine all areas of your life. This will help you believe in yourself and increase your self-esteem. Imagine someone telling you that you look great. What is your answer to this? Are you familiar with phrases such as: “Oh, that’s an old dress” or “You know, I’m not feeling very well today”? What do you usually say when you receive a compliment? It's rare to find people who know how to accept compliments. We rarely say just “thank you”, without any “buts”. But think for yourself. After all, if someone takes the time to tell you something nice, then they really mean it. Why can't you just accept kind words? Why do most of us tend to downplay our accomplishments? If you did something good, put it in your track record. After all, you deserve it! Allow yourself to believe all the good things people say about you. This is the easiest and least expensive way to boost your confidence.
In many cultures (including mine), it is considered not very polite if you simply accept a compliment. This is perceived as rudeness and arrogance. So for people coming from such cultures, this task is more difficult. Still, it's worth a try.
Self-confidence is sometimes a big stupidity. Only fools have no doubts.
Benicio Del Toro
10. Avoid perfectionism
If you strive for perfection in everything, you will often be disappointed. Be perfect person very difficult (if not impossible). You can always be better and faster, you can always do more. Stop trying to do everything and be perfect at everything. Recognize that good doesn't have to be perfect. And you don't have to be perfect either. , as a rule, low self-esteem because they criticize themselves all the time.Take a look at some of the confident people around you. Are they perfect? Treat yourself fairer and be more tolerant of your mistakes and shortcomings. They don't rob you of your talents and strengths.
11. Appreciate what you have already achieved
Our confidence largely depends on how much we believe in our success. If you don't see anything good in your life, your self-confidence is likely to be low. How can you believe that you are a successful person?No matter what situation you are in now, it is safe to say that you have had much more in your life. more achievements than you think. We tend to look to the future and always compare ourselves to an imagined, perfect model of the person we would like to be. Or with the model that we need to achieve our goals.
You are looking into a future where the ideal person you have imagined has a lot of money, is happy and has a beautiful home. Then you come back to the present and become depressed and start to feel like a failure for being so far from your dreams. However, we often forget how much we have already come and what we have achieved. We rarely look into the past to remember who we were a few years ago and compare with who we have become.
12. Set small goals for the near future.
There is another method that allows you to strengthen faith in your strength to achieve success. This method boils down to setting yourself small, easy achievable goals. If you've been working on a large and complex task for the past few months, it's likely that at some point you'll feel very insecure. The reason is that for quite a long time you fail to achieve your goal, to get what you want.A great way to deal with this problem is to set smaller goals that represent steps along the way to achieving one goal. big task. With this approach, each goal achieved helps you regain your self-confidence and self-confidence. The next time your boss approves of an idea, consider it a success. A nice guy/man asks for your phone number for further communication? Have a party! Have you finished everything you had to do today? Congratulate yourself! Fill your life with small joys, and in return they will make you feel like a successful person.
Your turn
What do you do when you need a confidence boost? Which methods work best for you? Join the discussion in the comments.If you liked this article, like it and share it with your friends on social networks.
Mark Twain
There is no such person who would not like to be confident, because confidence plays a very important role in our lives. important role, it determines what our life will be - successful or unsuccessful. You know this very well, and I know it, therefore, despite the articles already available on this site dedicated to this issue, I am returning to it again and plan to return in the future, until all my materials help you, dear readers, gain self-confidence. Together we will achieve success in this matter! You will definitely become a very confident person, and then many doors will open for you, you will begin to live life to the fullest, you will be able to realize many of your dreams and desires, you will fully realize yourself and become happy man.
There are many ways to become a confident person, which I wrote about earlier and not only me. All of them, to one degree or another, need attention to themselves, they all need elaboration. But there are ways that are more effective than others positive influence on a person’s self-confidence, and in this article we will talk about one of these methods. We'll talk about, perhaps, in an important way increasing self-confidence - about our victories and successes that each of us needs to strive for. A successful person, a winner, will always be confident in himself, because he will feel his strength thanks to his successes and victories. And success and victories, in turn, will depend on confidence, thanks to which a person can achieve his goals despite any difficulties. In general, friends, you and I need to understand all these relationships so that you know exactly what you need to do and why in order to gain confidence.
First of all, a person needs to learn to correctly relate to his failures, defeats, mistakes, mistakes, he needs to learn to understand them. His ability to achieve success in various matters will depend on this. After all, it is through failures, defeats and mistakes that the path to success lies. And in order to overcome this path, you need to be able to withstand the blows of fate and not give up. Then success is inevitable. But this is difficult, especially for people with weak character. If a person constantly fails at various matters– his self-confidence will decline. This is natural, natural and quite normal, since any failure shows a person his weakness and inability to live, therefore he cannot rely on himself, cannot believe in himself, in himself and in his strength. But he must understand that if he does not give up and continues to fight, then his perseverance and perseverance will sooner or later be crowned with success, they will allow him to win and achieve success. Therefore, difficulties must either be overcome, if you have the strength to do so, or, if you cannot overcome them, then you need to bypass them and go around them, and for this you need to be smart enough, flexible, calculating, cunning man. So a weakness of character can be compensated for by a host of other qualities, but first you need to develop these qualities in yourself. This whole thing is profitable, you can make a winner out of any person, I am absolutely sure of that. The main thing is to find an approach to each person. Remember that winners are not born, they are made. And self-confidence is not a gift from God, but a consequence proper development person. It is important to understand that you should never, under any circumstances, give in to difficulties, you need to fight, you need to look for opportunities, you need to endure until at least an insignificant achievement is achieved. positive result, which will instill in a person hope and faith in ultimate success. Therefore, learning the ability to overcome difficulties and achieve your goals must begin with small victories, but at the same time, it is advisable to ensure that they are regular, then the degree of confidence in a person will slowly but surely grow.
If a person achieves success in life, if he wins, his self-confidence grows, he trusts himself, he sees his strength, sees his capabilities, sees his adaptability to life, and even sees and feels his superiority over other people. This is also important for us, that’s who we are. So, in order to become a self-confident person, you need to learn to win, you need to start achieving success in various matters, primarily related to a person’s satisfaction of his natural needs. This is very important point, which must be taken into account - I mean the importance of a person satisfying his natural needs. The fact is that you can be a successful person, a winner, in some unimportant real life affairs, but these small victories, this dubious success, will not make a person truly self-confident. Of course, he will gain some kind of self-confidence from minor successes, especially if he gives them great value, but the further these successes are from real life, from real needs person, the weaker this confidence will be.
For example, a person, let it be a man, can be a very good chess player who constantly beats everyone at chess and he can be considered a successful person, a winner, but only in the game of chess. Of course, success in this game will give this man self-confidence, but if at the same time he has serious problems with money, if he does not have a beloved woman, if other men whom he could consider his friends do not communicate with him, he will feel extremely insecure, and in especially severe cases, a complete loser. The whole point is that failures in more important matters in life and a person’s inability to satisfy his natural needs, as a rule, have a much more significant impact on his psyche strong influence than success, even very great, in matters of less importance. However, there are exceptions that only confirm this rule. Therefore, friends, you need victories like air, but in matters that relate to real, and not to virtual, imaginary life. Of course, you should start with small victories, with small successes in small but important matters in life, gradually striving for greater and greater heights. And you should always remember that life does not consist of only victories; there is also a place for defeats, setbacks, and mistakes, which sometimes happen very often. And if you do not treat them with understanding, you will never come to success, wastingly avoiding the defeats and failures that lead to it. This means that you will not be able to gain self-confidence.
How can you learn to win victories that are important for your life, so that with their help you can increase your self-confidence, and how not to be afraid of failures, mistakes, mistakes, and defeats that stand in the way of success? This task is, in fact, not easy, since it requires individual approach to everyone to a specific person who needs to be taught to win in order to instill in him a taste for victories and success. To implement this, it is necessary to take into account personal characteristics a person and his life story. After all different people I can do it different tasks, some need to start with small victories, some are capable of more difficult things, and some can immediately aim for great achievements. Everyone has their own capabilities.
When I help people gain self-confidence, I study their lives and themselves very carefully, starting from childhood. This allows me to develop for each person an individual recipe for achieving success, guided by which they are guaranteed to win in matters that are truly significant for their lives, taking into account their desires and needs. If a person is poor, I help him improve his financial situation, if he is lonely, I help him find friends and a soul mate, and so on. In general, I help a person win where he needs to win. At the same time, he and I begin the path to success from the very first steps that he can take, from the smallest, but very important victories. Thanks to small victories, which later develop into big victories, people gradually increase their self-confidence, and therefore they themselves, without anyone’s help, achieve success in a variety of things, thereby increasing their confidence.
So, to put it simply, you need victories to increase self-confidence, and not in some unimportant matters in life, but in serious, important matters having direct relation to your basic needs, and only then to all your desires. But achieving these victories can sometimes be difficult if there is no clear action plan that takes into account a person’s current capabilities. It is not so easy to achieve success in a business in which you need to be able to show your best strong qualities and get around other people who also want to be first, want to be the best, want to be winners. That's why it's needed individual program achieving success, and in those matters in which it is easier for each individual person to achieve success at the first stage. Self-confidence should grow gradually, as a person overcomes various difficulties and obstacles that he is able to overcome. But great and quick successes, which some people are able to achieve mainly only thanks to a successful combination of circumstances, most often make them overly self-confident and people who inadequately assess themselves and their capabilities, and then only for a short time, since external circumstances are constantly changing, and along with them, the self-confidence of those who depend on these circumstances and rely on them changes. Therefore, you need to learn to go to success yourself, and not wait for it to come to you.
An important role in the issue of self-confidence is also played by a person’s attitude towards the victories and successes that already exist and previously existed in his life, which must be able to recognize and highlight against the background of everything else. People usually remember the bad better than the good, they remember their failures, they remember grievances, they remember the evil that happened in their lives. But the good things are often forgotten by them, successes, especially if there were few of them, are also forgotten, but at the same time, our self-confidence is based precisely on them - on our successes and victories. Let you make a hundred mistakes, but the hundred and first time you will achieve success - it is this hundred and first time that you should count as your asset, it is this that you need to remember throughout your life, it is this that you need to use as a moral support when solving your current and future tasks and problems, and while overcoming various difficulties. If you know that you can, that you are capable, that you have the strength to solve any problems and achieve success in any business, because you have already managed to do this before, then you will definitely solve your problems, you will definitely achieve success and your self-confidence will inevitably increase . Our past victories and achievements are our strength. We don’t need to pump up our psyche with all sorts of nonsense, because of which a person imagines himself as a kind of superman who is capable of anything, we just need to know about our strength and focus our attention on it.
Your self-confidence, friends, is your shield from any difficulties and adversities, and it is also your energy necessary to achieve success in life. Therefore, you need to build it piece by piece, or even grain of sand, depending on the characteristics of your life. Victories lead a person to self-confidence, and self-confidence leads him to even greater victories, thus increasing himself. Learn to win, learn to bypass and overcome all kinds of obstacles, depending on your capabilities, learn to see in yourself strong man, whom you can trust. And don’t even think about letting yourself down - if you promise yourself to do something, do it, and always be sure to bring all your tasks to the end. Otherwise, you will not be able to trust yourself, which means you will not be able to believe in yourself.
Instructions
Remember that self-doubt is determined by the fears lurking in the mind. In this case, the main thing is the fear of how others will perceive your words, actions, appearance, what they will think of you, etc. etc. Knowing the cause of uncertainty, you can fight it.
You need to do something and you are unsure of yourself. Imagine that the worst thing that can happen in this situation has already happened. Come to terms with this internally, accept it as a fact. For example, a guy wants to meet you (or vice versa), but is afraid to take the first step - to approach, to say something. Fears: they will laugh at him, they will refuse him reciprocity, he will look very stupid.
If you find yourself in this situation, evaluate your fears and accept that all this can happen. Moreover, accept the negative outcome as already accomplished, feel it. Everything has already happened, you have nothing to fear anymore. Therefore, nothing prevents you from approaching and saying the first words.
Use small accomplishment tactics. Find small daily challenges for yourself and overcome them. They can be outwardly quite insignificant - asking someone about something, doing something in front of others. By overcoming your insecurities in small things, you will gradually begin to notice that it is increasingly easier for you to communicate with people.
If you have a big task ahead of you, break it down into a sequence of small actions, and then focus on completing them one by one. This approach gives good results– you stop seeing the big one difficult task, appears instead large number small actions, each of which individually does not look so scary.
Always remember that the vast majority of people don't care about you. They don't care what you look like, what you say, how you act, etc. etc. If you are walking down the street, looking down and blushing at the thought that others are looking at you and might think something negative, relax - they are interested in their own problems and concerns, but not you.
Learn to smile. A smile is an excellent way to relieve excess stress. Smile, even if you are in a completely inappropriate mood for this, and you will immediately feel your fears and stiffness go away. The effectiveness of a smile as a means of combating uncertainty, constraint, and stress is explained purely physiologically: people smile when they feel good and comfortable. By smiling in a situation where you are not in the mood to smile, you start the mechanism feedback, allowing you to relax and feel more confident.
Choose the image of a totem animal that, in your mind, is associated with strength, dexterity, and confidence. Then try to feel like one. For example, walking down the street, imagine yourself as a lion. The lion is the king of the jungle, no one and nothing can resist him. Feel his strength, calm grace, a certain laziness caused by the feeling of his own power. Enter the image and you will see that uncertainty goes away, it is much easier for you to cope with what causes you fears.
Self-confidence and self-confidence is not only active life position, but also the key to success in any area of life. Confident women reach the top career ladder, subjugate men and evoke admiration from others. There are several ways to develop a sense of confidence.
Instructions
The first thing you need to pay attention to is your behavior. Strong natures move with confident steps, have impeccable posture and “royal” manners. A woman with all her appearance should evoke respect and admiration. Do not confuse self-confidence with. Pride and indifference to the opinions of others is not a sign of confidence. IN in this case This means a firm position in life and a focus on achieving one’s goals.
The second point is appearance. Many may assume that a confident woman must wear business suits and use minimum quantity makeup. On the one hand, such traits may indicate confidence, but they are not its main signs. A playful girl in jeans and a simple hairstyle can look much stronger than a strict lady in a pantsuit. The main thing is to present the image to others. If you decide to do exotic makeup, show with all your appearance that it is beautiful.
The third point is attitude towards yourself. Never engage in self-flagellation and self-criticism. By criticizing your appearance and behavior, you only make the situation worse. Smile at yourself in the mirror, compliment yourself, admire yourself. If you love yourself, then those around you will change their attitude towards you.
In conversations with others, never hesitate to express your opinion, even if it differs from the point of view of the majority. Play out situations in front of a mirror and think about what arguments you can use to persuade. Speak before the public more often, do not refuse the opportunity to speak in front of large audience.
Make excuses to others as little as possible. Even if you made a mistake, you shouldn’t turn it into a lifelong problem. It is likely that success awaits you in a new business or in a completely different field of activity.
Video on the topic
Often insecure people try to hide their fear behind a mask of indifference or imperturbable calm. Here are some dos and don'ts that will help you feel comfortable in any environment.
Instructions
The simplest things influence our lives. These things include a smile. Even if you have Bad mood, try to smile, and your mood will immediately improve. A person who smiles and smiles looks happy, open, attractive to people and, of course, confident.
Fussiness is the first sign of discomfort. To increase your self-confidence, calm down and find a comfortable, relaxed position. As you learn to express calm on the outside, you will gradually become calmer on the inside.
Fear of direct eye contact reveals an indecisive and insecure person. Therefore, to show your confidence, look into a person’s eyes when talking and do not try to hide your gaze. This will let him know that he is heard and understood.
Many people, when nervous, begin to giggle, which has nothing to do with healthy laughter. To prevent this from happening, avoid awkward situations. An open smile and laughter will say much more about you than inappropriate nervous laughter.
To avoid feeling awkward, talk more. If you have nothing to say, then ask intellectual questions, which can show your attentiveness and professionalism. And these are the qualities of a confident person.
In any conversation, sooner or later there comes a time when questions begin to be asked of you. To increase self-confidence, you need to become a full participant in the conversation. And this implies benevolence and openness to interlocutors.
Video on the topic
How difficult it is sometimes for a teenager to assert himself in a team! Only a few become leaders, the rest are content with the role of “average”, and some, unfortunately, become outcasts. To help a teenager adapt to social environment To position yourself correctly in a team, you need a sense of self-confidence. A few tips will help you develop it.
Don't pay attention to any ridicule! After all, you can find a lot of reasons for them - for example, a funny surname, too short or, on the contrary, too big height, features of the figure and build, poor eyesight, unusual hobby etc. etc. The main thing here is not to get into a fight, no matter how offensive it may be. You need to learn to calmly look into the eyes of those who offend you and shrug your shoulders indifferently. All! After two or three attempts, those teasing will lose any desire to continue - after all, they wanted to provoke negative emotions, enjoy the humiliation of the weak. And since the goal is, then there is no point in trying.
Don’t be afraid to stand out from your peers. An unusual hairstyle and clothes will allow you to be different from everyone else - the main thing is not to overdo it! Non-standard behavior first arouses interest and then a desire to imitate. It has long been noted: if, for example, a student at school during recess does not take part in general games, but steps aside and begins to do his own thing - draw, play a game, etc. – then soon the West class will gather around him. Worth a try!
Take care of yourself! Impeccable appearance is the key good attitude those around you. But people can be put off by, for example, bad breath, sniffing, the sight of bitten nails, the aroma of sweat from the armpits, etc. All this must be controlled! You can even make a special memo about what you need to check in your appearance, and review it before leaving the house.
Keep your head held high. Don't slouch, straighten your shoulders proudly, lift your chin - that's the image! You should learn to look directly into the eyes of your interlocutor when speaking. And a charming smile will complete the “royal” appearance and disarm even negatively minded opponents.
You can't achieve anything in life without self-confidence. It is self-confidence that helps you not to give up and find the strength to move on. Self-confidence is an acquired character trait, not an innate one. It’s rare that someone is so lucky that he doesn’t suffer from complexes and doesn’t become disappointed in himself over time. Self-confidence is formed through character, personal qualities and hard work above yourself. Therefore, it depends only on you how quickly you develop self-confidence.
You will need
- Willpower and desire.
Instructions
Don't forget about your successes. Very often people focus not on their own achievements, but on what they failed to do. Of course, this is not bad if a person wants to correct the situation and achieve what he wants, but when this leads to a decrease in self-esteem and self-confidence, real problems begin. Therefore, as often as possible, remember those successes that you can rightfully be proud of, or even better, write them down on a piece of paper and read it in the morning before starting your work day and at night before going to bed.
Don't beat yourself up for failures. If you make a mistake, analyze what happened, correct what you can and move on. There is no point in constantly remembering what happened. What has happened has passed. It's more important not to repeat own mistakes and learn to avoid wrong decisions, but you shouldn’t be afraid to take responsibility either. Not in the world ideal people.
Don't live in the past. Don't expect everything to change tomorrow. Live today, here and now. The future has not yet arrived, and the past has disappeared over the horizon. If you constantly dream or remember how good it was before, you will not notice how life has passed. Nothing is more demoralizing than putting off planned tasks until tomorrow.
Appreciate what you have. The greatest happiness of a person is always the ability to rejoice in what he has. This is not as easy as it might seem at first glance, but it is necessary for full life. In addition, this will allow you not to make a mistake in choosing what else you would like to get from this life. After all, sometimes people chase what they don’t need at all.
Don't let anyone put you down. Neither loved ones, nor friends, nor relatives have the right to criticize your personal qualities. You can only criticize the actions of others when they directly affect someone else's interests. Therefore, you should not confuse the desire to help you with advice and rude interference in your life. Although usually advice should only be given to those who ask for it.
Please note
When communicating with officials, follow the laws, remember your own rights and their responsibilities. As soon as they try to put pressure on you, to declare that they know better what to do, do not get lost, but immediately remind them of your own rights, the rights of a citizen and a person. It is very important to stop their attempts to suppress you and force you to retreat in time. And for this, read the laws, because for a skillful conversation with civil servants this is mandatory.
Confidence is something that defines our entire life. Depending on the degree of confidence of a person, the circle of his acquaintances, friends, the areas of activity where he manifests himself, and many other characteristics are formed. But many of us are not yet fully confident in ourselves, so we have not yet been able to achieve everything that we would really like. This article is aimed at helping people suffering from insecurity syndrome overcome their illness.
1. Always think about yourself.
This does not mean that you should become selfish. This means that you should not think much about other people with whom you will talk, get acquainted, or meet. All conversations should be spontaneous. Therefore, you should not think too much about extraneous phenomena. Just do what you want and need to do, and the rest will come into your life on its own.
2. Never despair.
Mistakes happen to everyone. No one can boast of a perfectly clean reputation. But the fact that mistakes teach is indeed true. So don't be afraid to try yourself various roles and areas of activity.
3. Be interested in what is happening around you.
Don't isolate yourself. Attend events and meetings that interest you. And don’t think about what will happen there and how other participants will treat you. Enjoy the moments and don't care what others say.
4. Maintain communication with different people.
Never try to escape reality long time. Yes, it is a fact that sometimes each of us needs time to be alone with ourselves, but when this solitude drags on for weeks, months and even years, then you are dooming yourself to loneliness.
5. Keep positive attitude.
Smile at passers-by, give compliments and don’t worry about how you will look or what you will say. Sincerity has always been in fashion, so keep positive energy and give it to others.
Many people ask the question: “What should I do to become confident?” Self-confidence allows you to feel happy and be successful in any field. There are many ways to become confident.
1. Smile all the time. Always find a reason to be happy. Good mood always allows you to win people over and look confident.
2. Learn to respect and love yourself. Confident man always respects himself and is proud of himself. Don't worry about your shortcomings. Pay more attention to your strengths.
3. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Understand that every person is unique and there is no reason to compare yourself to other people. A person who compares himself to other people will always experience feelings of envy and self-doubt.
4. Don't be swayed by other people's opinions. You should never take other people's opinions seriously. Confident people always have their own own opinion and do not depend on the opinions of other people.
5. Don't criticize yourself, but praise yourself. Get rid of the habit of criticizing yourself. Start new habit- constantly praise yourself. If you start praising yourself more often, you will feel more confident.
6. Always be calm. People very often make a tragedy out of a small problem. Don't worry too much about some small problem. Understand that any problems can be solved. Look at life more simply and you will feel confident.
7. Choose your environment. You need to have real friends who will support and help you. With real friends you will feel real self-confidence.
8. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. There is no need to be afraid of mistakes, you need to learn from them. Mistakes teach us valuable lessons. So try to make the most of mistakes.
Self-improvement is the path to inner harmony and self-confidence. Let's figure out exactly what actions give us this very confidence.
Collect information about yourself
To work on yourself, you need to understand very precisely what you are dealing with. The approach in the style of the most charming and attractive, of course, is good, but still it is precisely this that prevents us from seeing the shortcomings in ourselves, by correcting which we will become much better. Arm yourself with a pen and a piece of paper and sort your personality into the areas of life that are important to you. Maybe you don't know how to listen and because of this you don't have good relationships with people. Maybe you are very impulsive when shopping and therefore cannot get your financial affairs in order. Or maybe you just can’t decide to take life into your own hands and stop living with an eye on the opinions of others, who knows?
There would be a desire
Everything is possible, you just have to want it, including a total struggle with your shortcomings. Of course, the process is difficult and painstaking, requiring a certain amount of willpower, but if you sincerely decide that it’s time to change something, no one will force you to turn away from your chosen path of self-improvement. There will, of course, be moments of weakness, but they will not have a significant impact on end result. If you sincerely want to become a better person, you will succeed.
Give the world kindness
Negative emotions towards ourselves, the people around us and the world can significantly damage our self-esteem, while good attitude lifts her to the skies. Be kinder to people, do good deeds, even if small. For example, donating 100 rubles to an animal shelter or paying for an old lady’s purchases in a supermarket is not such a big deal, but very, very important.
Make a “list of rules”
Each person should have his own set of principles. This will help you accept the right decision in a difficult situation, because such a moralistic sheet will serve as a kind of guiding map for your whole life. By placing personal principles and goals above people and circumstances, you will very soon gain not only self-confidence, but also respect from others.
Speak slowly
It just so happens that the calmer you speak, the better conversationalist perceives the information transmitted to it. Very often politicians and public figures use this feature of our brain to convey some idea or news to the masses. You can also learn to speak more slowly and calmly, and your communications with others will be much more successful.
Watch your posture
In fact, posture is everything. Once you roll your shoulders, straighten your back and lift your chin proudly, your whole appearance and attitude are completely transformed, and you look much more confident and attractive than before. Self-confidence depends primarily not on beauty, but on internal sensations.
Constantly improve your competence
Learn every day, every minute, every second. You can choose one area or “grab the best” from each interesting area, it’s not so important. The most important thing is not to stop in your development. The more positive things you do for yourself, the more you learn and the better you are, the more confident you are.
Say goodbye to bad habits
If stopping eating sweets or smoking instantly is too difficult for you, start with small steps. For example, get rid of the habit of putting off washing dishes until later. Stop staying up late in front of the TV. Get up every day 5-10 minutes earlier than the previous day. Such small steps will help you train your willpower and realize that in fact only you are the master of your life. This awareness gives a huge sense of confidence.
Play sports
Sport develops not only strength, but also spirit. Regular classes will help you get to know yourself and your body, understand “what kind of dough you are made of.” Also, attending training requires willpower and a certain level of discipline. Plus, they improve your overall appearance, which also boosts confidence.
A well-groomed appearance is the result daily work above yourself. And here the girls are divided into two categories. The first one is working on herself and her appearance, acquires good habits. The second category of girls envy them. Being stylish is not so difficult; all you need to know is to know a few secrets.
Get ready in the evening. Think over your look in the evening. This will allow you not to lose morning hours trying to find the right clothes. The main thing here is to find out the weather for the next day.
Choose your underwear carefully. This is exactly what creates your image. Properly selected underwear helps highlight your figure and improve your silhouette.
Choose clothes according to the weather. Stylish girls always dress according to the weather, this allows them to feel comfortable and confident.
Choose a style that suits you. Choose clothes that suit your lifestyle and body type.
Add some bright details. The right accessories will help turn ordinary clothes into festive ones. This could be a scarf, an expensive bag, large earrings or a belt. However, remember that you cannot have too many accessories, otherwise you risk “overloading” the image.
Change your clothes at home. As soon as you get home, change your clothes. This way your going out outfits will be able to maintain a presentable appearance for a long time.
Prepare for Trouble. Always carry thread with a needle and adhesive tape with you. They will come in handy if you have to sew something up or if you get a callus.
Create your own style. Never wear things that don't suit you, even if they are trendy. It is better to choose what makes you attractive.
Shoes for the occasion. Always choose shoes according to your style and event. In some cases, shoes may look out of place; in others, ballet flats will look too simple.
How to become a successful, confident and happy person in just five minutes? Want to try it?
You can become more confident and significantly increase your self-esteem quite quickly. 3 main principles of self-confidence will help you with this. These are tips famous psychologist, relationship expert Irina Udilova.
1. The “Translator” principle
The first of them is the “Translator” principle. The principle of the “Translator” is to use, broadcast in your life, distribute around yourself only those things, those values, that knowledge that you yourself are very pleased with. For example, of course, it is very important for you to receive respect; it is very important for you to live among people who value, love, respect you and, even if they criticize you, do it with love. The most important thing, the most basic thing: be sure to distribute exactly what you like. Don’t talk about those things that make you sad, depressed, disappointed, throw you into some state when you don’t want to do anything at all - you give up. Don't allow these things to happen in your life. Be sure to broadcast, broadcast what you really like. What we broadcast, we ourselves multiply in our lives. This one wand, which greatly affects your confidence, your success, how you feel.
2. The principle of “Clay Pots”
The second principle that will definitely allow you to become self-confident is the “Clay Pots” principle. It certainly sounds tempting: what kind of pots? And it turns out that back in the nineties, American scientists conducted most interesting experiment. They assembled two groups. One group was given the task: “Make pots, as many pots as possible.” And the second group was told: “Make good pots, quality ones, so that every pot is perfect.” And what do you think was the result? Which group made more quality pots? It turned out that there were more of them in the first group. Those people who didn’t bother, those people who acted, everything turned out much easier for them. And, of course, you also noticed that when you are in any creative process When you act, you have more energy, more joy. And when you doubt, measure, prepare, then tension and fear grow. The future result is always on my mind. And all the doubts, fear, tension - this is what exactly prevents us from doing what we want in life, and doing it at a good level. Remember that all the doubts, all the improvements, all the improvements that we usually really want to make in any of our business are just marking time. We do not allow ourselves to act at this moment. And microsteps are your precise progress towards what you want, towards the goal that inspires you. Allow yourself to make mistakes, allow yourself to “walk”, act and enjoy it.
3. The principle of “Sufficiency”
And the third principle, which will definitely allow you to become self-confident, is the principle of “Sufficiency”. It is based on the principle of insufficiency, that there will not be enough of everything. This is our childhood. When we were little, we always wanted someone to give us at least something else: candy, sweets, attention. And in this position we always remain children. An adult knows for sure that right now in his hands he has everything he needs to improve his life, in order to help someone else. When a person gives, he has a feeling inside that this is a lot, this is enough. And the more often you are in this position, the more effective you will be in your life, the more effective you will be in what you do for other people. Thanks to the feeling of sufficiency, the feeling that you have enough, you have the strength to share it with others. And this is what allows us to change our world radically, allows us to contact each other, be useful to each other, and unites the whole world.
And these were exactly the 3 principles that right now, within five minutes, will allow you to feel more confident, happier, because you have everything you need:
- You can broadcast those things that are important to you and valuable to you.
- You have your sufficiency.
- And the third thing is to sculpt pots, act and do it with pleasure, with joy.
This is what will affect your world and the world in general.
Be confident in yourself and everything in your life will be top-notch!
Arthur Golovin
Interesting
Instructions
Try to realize that no one but yourself can help you cope with your problem. Analyze how much uncertainty there is in own strength and actions prevents you from living. If this deficiency has caused you a lot of problems, it's time to start it. But first of all, it is necessary to understand what exactly underlies the uncertainty. It could be negative experience past, obvious shortcomings or external defects, unreasonable fear of the result. Whatever the reason, try not to throw away thoughts about it, but begin to act constructively.
Work on your appearance, as a flawless appearance always increases self-confidence. Reset overweight, get a new haircut, perfect manicure and light makeup. Choose clothes that suit you one hundred percent and you feel comfortable in them. Square your shoulders: you'll be amazed at how good your posture makes you feel. Look in the mirror. Surely you like yourself in your new capacity. The result will not be long in coming: admiring glances and compliments from others will make you want to communicate and be in the public eye. And this is it main step to overcome uncertainty.
Start doing small exercises that allow you to... Try to say hello to everyone around you, including the janitor and cashier at the store. At meetings, take the floor and correctly defend your position. Try to communicate more verbally and by phone: endless conversations with unfamiliar people will help you forget about uncertainty. Smile in any appropriate situation: a positive attitude will create around you favorable atmosphere.
If you are not confident in your abilities or professionalism, take the risk of taking on at least one project. Break the goal down into small stages and systematically move towards success. Tell yourself that you have no right to fail. Act purposefully and without emotion. Even a small success can inspire you and give you confidence. But don't be afraid of failure. Be sure to create a backup scenario that will also suit you.
Treat most things with humor. If you are afraid of a visit to an official or important meeting with the client, sincere smile and a couple of humorous phrases can instantly smooth out the tension and endear your interlocutor to you
Please note
Do not confuse self-confidence with arrogance and rudeness. A self-confident person will walk past a rude person with a smile and immediately forget about him, while an insecure person will definitely get involved in a verbal altercation.
Don't let someone else's point of view be manipulated or imposed on you. Become a person who knows how to argue your position.
A person’s inner confidence is manifested in a feeling of rightness and strength, certainty in decision-making and behavior. External signs Such an individual has firm speech, a direct gaze, and the ability to insist on one’s own. To behave confidently in any situation, you need to develop this quality.
Instructions
Create a bank of positive experiences. Write down all your successes - graduating from school and college with good grades, decisive behavior in difficult situation, rapid advancement through the ranks, etc. Become aware of your positive qualities and talents.
Develop a positive outlook. Learn to see in any situation positive points and opportunities, in people - kindness and strength. Give others compliments, be polite, correct and grateful.
Get rid of fears and negativity. Change the qualities that do not suit you or others. If you are accused of being slow, do everything as carefully as possible, and then it will turn into accuracy.
Enlarge physical activity. Do exercises or go for a morning jog, speed up your gait, perform faster homework- this is necessary in order to increase the speed of your reactions. Over time, you will begin to solve both everyday problems and business problems faster.
Use elements of self-hypnosis. For example, affirmations are phrases aimed at achieving the desired state: "I'm sure. I'm calm. I will succeed. Good luck awaits me."
Buy leadership chips. A confident person always has a certain style communication, making an impression on others and demonstrating his status. For example, try replacing the word “need” with “want.” Thanks to this technique, you will show your interlocutor your authority and importance. Replace requests with statements, not forgetting politeness and firmness. For example, instead of “Can you take me to the airport?” say “Please take me to the airport.” Do not use phrases in conversation that make you doubt your correctness: “Am I saying it right?”, “Do you understand what I’m talking about?” etc.
Video on the topic
Confidence is a necessary quality for every person that affects his entire life. If you are confident in yourself, it means you know what abilities and capabilities you have, you quickly build constructive relationships with other people, and you know how to achieve your goals. But if something doesn’t work out and you feel shy and awkward, don’t give up, because you are quite capable of learning this character trait.
Instructions
Try to communicate more with by different people. If you expand your social circle, your zone of confidence (as psychologists call it) in which you feel comfortable will also expand. Take a closer look at the person you consider confident and analyze his behavior, words, etc. Perhaps you can “copy” some of it for yourself.
Don’t “bite” yourself for failures. As soon as your thoughts start to wander towards negativity, stop them and turn them in the other direction. Better tell yourself that you learn from mistakes.
Be comfortable with your imperfections. Set yourself goals that you need to strive for. When you have these achievements, you will feel more relaxed.
Forget that you “owe someone something.” Excessive compliance, shyness, thoughts that you are “uncomfortable” will never increase your self-confidence. If you continue to behave this way, there will always be someone who will manipulate you. Radically remove your prejudices.
Think about why you might irritate your interlocutor: perhaps you speak in a didactic tone or mumble indistinctly, unable to express your thoughts clearly and clearly? Admit your mistakes and try to learn to formulate your thoughts more clearly.
Develop a program for yourself more: imagine how you address a person, ask him a question and how you answer yourself; try (mentally) to look into his eyes. Practice alone with yourself by telling a joke or something funny story, say them out loud - just don’t think that this is enough, you may have to repeat your words and behavior patterns dozens of times. Try to demonstrate your confidence outwardly. If you constantly “train” your confidence, it won’t keep you waiting either.
Try not to put yourself in situations that might affect your sense of self-confidence, at least until you are ready for it.
Video on the topic
Self-confidence is a must-have quality successful person. Success in all areas of life depends on this feeling. It must be developed, instilled from childhood, brought up in early age. If this opportunity has already been missed, do not hesitate - self-confidence, like another quality, can be developed in yourself at any age. The main thing is to believe in yourself.
Instructions
First of all, learn not to criticize yourself because of your insecurities, but to calmly accept all shortcomings. Everyone makes mistakes, and perfect people do not exist. The first reason for insecurity is that a person does not love himself. Get rid of this feeling.
Set a goal for yourself. It’s better to write everything down on paper: indicate what changes in yourself you will achieve in order to become more confident in yourself, what you need for this. Determine what this quality means to you. Put away the sheet of paper with your notes - you can get it out in a month to compare it with your achievements.
Remember the moments when you felt the most confident in yourself. Remember what situation it was in, what caused this feeling, what sensations you had. All the smallest details and details are important. Remember this more often, try to evoke those feelings, embody them.
Think about what place the ongoing conflict plays in life. For example, such a trifle as rudeness in public transport or the rudeness of a work colleague - is this so important for your life path, for your realization and your happiness? The word “your” is key. Distinguish between yourself and those around you, because most often they are caused by their own problems, not yours.
Find in problematic situation something positive. Every phenomenon has how negative side, and positive, therefore, if the boss or are not showing themselves from the best side, maybe you should think about changing your environment.
Sometimes it is better to remain silent than to say a lot of unpleasant words that, at the moment of reflection, have little to do with reality. After working with breathing, it is better to say that now you are not ready to negotiate, you need to think and weigh everything.
If a dispute is still inevitable, try not to become personal, but to direct criticism towards the phenomenon. Of course, in the process of an argument, irritation may arise with those who have the opposite opinion, so control yourself and stop.
Our body is connected to ours mental state, so it will help to calm down and dissolve the negativity physical relaxation. Tighten your body except for the head area, and then completely relax, thinking that by doing so you are throwing off the entire burden of problems. Yoga will help you, as it teaches you how to control yourself and your body. Just a few lessons a week, and the next stressful situation you will certainly appear calm and confident.
