An unkind or defamatory rumor about someone, spread on the basis of incorrect, inaccurate or fabricated information. Tolerate gossip. It's a shame to believe gossip. “Apart from city gossip, I haven’t heard anything from you.” Sukhovo-Kobylin .
Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary. D.N. Ushakov. 1935-1940.
Synonyms:
See what “GOSSIP” is in other dictionaries:
Speech * Aphorism * Loquacity * Literacy * Dialogue * Slander * Eloquence * Brevity * Shout * Criticism * Flattery * Silence * Thought * Mockery * Promise * Witness * ... Consolidated encyclopedia of aphorisms
- “GOSSIP” (Gossip), USA, Warner Bros., 2000, 90 min. Drama, thriller. Several students of the Faculty of Journalism of a prestigious American college decided to trace: how gossip is born, how it acquires details, changing to... ... Encyclopedia of Cinema
Gossip, squabbles, slander, personalities, conversations, retellings, courts, gossip, rumors. Wed... Dictionary of synonyms
GOSSIP, and, gen. pl. ten, female A rumor about something based on inaccurate or deliberately incorrect information. Start a gossip. Philistine gossip creeps in. Ozhegov's explanatory dictionary. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 … Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary
gossip- gossip, kind. pl. gossip (gossip is not recommended) ... Dictionary of difficulties of pronunciation and stress in modern Russian language
gossip- rumor, rumor, gossip Page. 1049 Page 1050 Page 1051 Page 1052 Page 1053… New explanatory dictionary of synonyms of the Russian language
G. 1. Rumor, news about someone or something, based on inaccurate or deliberately incorrect, false information. 2. Dissemination of such rumors and news; gossip. Ephraim's explanatory dictionary. T. F. Efremova. 2000... Modern explanatory dictionary Russian language Efremova
Gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip (Source: “Full accentuated paradigm according to A. A. Zaliznyak”) ... Forms of words
Women's gossip. 1. Arch., Bashk., Prikam., Sib. Curly houseplant. AOS 1, 78; SRGB 1, 24; MFS, 94; SBO D1, 19; WWTP, 26; SPS, 18; SRGB 1, 24. 2. Wed. Ural. Wild climbing plant. SRGK 1, 29. Conduct gossip. Pechora. The same as pointing... ... Big dictionary Russian sayings
gossip- gossip, and, genus. p.m. h. ten... Russian spelling dictionary
Books
- Big Gossip, Uspenskaya S....
- Big gossip, Uspenskaya S.. If gossip is spread, it means that someone really needs it. The unremarkable manager Igor dreams dizzying career. To achieve the goal, any means are good: he dissolves...
We have prepared a master class for you, so that next time you, firstly, know all the rules and are better savvy. And, secondly, now you can show off scientific expressions in a conversation (after another gossip, of course). Yes, just imagine: scientists studied gossip women and discovered a lot of interesting things. For example, associate professor International Institute computer technology Dmitry Gorbatov has written a number of scientific articles about gossip.
Remember a few main points:
Point 1. Informal nature of the conversation
Gossip makes conversation easy and enjoyable. Even minimal participation in gossip becomes a generally accepted signal of readiness to communicate “without ties.” True, it should be remembered that the right to initiate gossip is usually reserved for persons who have a fairly high status among those present. And representatives of the entire community can continue and develop such a conversation, regardless of their position. That's why gossip with your boss or manager, of course, you can and should. But only if he himself expresses such a desire.
Point 2. Lack of objects of discussion
Never need gossip about Masha with her. You can only tell that she is acting stupid and dressing like a prostitute when she walks away from you and turns the corner. And if you say this in front of Masha, then it will no longer be gossip, but a scandal.
Point 3. Idleness
When my grandmother retired, she went out into the yard with a bag of seeds, sat on a bench and indulged in gossip with her neighbors. What else can you do?
Gossiping is best when you are bored and have nothing to do: long evenings, during your lunch break or when you are at home with your child. Gossip is wonderful entertainment.
Point 4. Let's evaluate
If we gossiped without making judgments, it would not be gossip, but simply an exchange of facts. Compare: “Olya has new red lipstick, which she uses to paint her lips thickly” and “Olya is made up like a clown today.” The assessment must be present. And if it does not manifest itself in words, it will certainly appear in intonation or facial expression.
By the way, gossipers give assessments based on the moral principles and traditions that have developed in society. This is the central paradox of gossip. Gossiping is already a violation moral principle. It turns out that gossipers condemn other people for violating the norms of behavior that they themselves violate by gossiping.
Point 5. Gossip with those who support your point of view
Recently I was chatting with my friends. “Imagine, Sveta got so drunk yesterday. She behaved terribly. I kissed a man I saw for the first time! “The friends express indignation: “And, really, it’s terrible!” Only Katya declares: “Well, just think! You’d think you’ve never gotten drunk or done anything stupid!” We are trying to convince Katya, but she does not give in. “Yes, she herself will not be better than this Sveta,” another friend whispers in my ear.
Joint gossip is impossible without relying on a rating scale of approved and disapproved behavior that significantly coincides between different individuals. Remember that when gossiping, you must be on the same page with your interlocutors. If one of them refuses joint condemnation, you must recognize him as incompetent and try to convince him otherwise. If this does not work, the “unworthy” should be removed from the gossip community and relegated to the category of “discussed targets.” At least, scientists have identified such patterns when studying gossips.
Point 6. Remember the benefits of gossip
There are so many benefits from gossip! Functionalist scholars such as anthropologist Max Gluckman believe that gossip maintains unity, morals, and values social groups. And from the point of view of a feminist approach, gossip plays important role in providing mutual support, comfort, catharsis and entertainment. Gossip amuses us. Friendships are strengthened during gossiping. There is pleasure from communication and from satisfied curiosity. Appears mutual trust when transmitting confidential information.
Some scientists who study the phenomenon of gossip draw parallels between this type of communication and works of art: films and books, for example. Gossip in a similar way relieve us of boredom, provide a break from labor-intensive work, and stimulate positive emotions.
Point 7. Whom to discuss?
It depends on what you want to get. To experience feelings of moral superiority, complacency and contempt, choose a person who is inferior to you in some way as an object of gossip. Similar comparison will be safer and more revealing. Let's say you consider yourself an exemplary housewife. Then you can gossip about a friend who can't even fry eggs. Just don’t forget that in this case your interlocutors should also be able to cook.
If you choose as an object of gossip someone who is noticeably superior to you in certain qualities, you will be able to express feelings of indignation and envy. Of course, your co-worker has a new car. But we all know how she got it. It's terrible, isn't it?
Point 8. Main phrase
"We are better than them!" Remember this when you gossip. This is the most main argument, which allows you to discuss and judge other people behind their back.
Gossiping is the tendency to spread inaccurate or deliberately false information about someone or something.
One day an acquaintance came to Socrates and said: “I’ll now tell you what I heard about one of your friends.” “Wait a minute,” replied Socrates, “before you tell me anything, it must go through three sieves.” - Three sieves? – the friend asked. “Yes,” Socrates continued, before talking about my friend, you must filter what you are going to tell. The first sieve is Truth. Tell me, are you absolutely sure that this is true? “No,” answered the acquaintance, “I myself heard about it from others.” - So you're not sure if this is true. Now the second sieve is Good. Is there anything good in what you are going to say about my friend? - Vice versa. - This is something very bad. “And so, you want to tell me something that may not be true, and even something bad.” However, your news still has a chance to pass the third sieve - Usefulness. Can I get any benefit from what you say? “Not very much...” answered the acquaintance. - Well, if what you want to tell me is neither true, nor good, nor useful, then why should I know it?
If every person sifted incoming information through a Socratic sieve, gossip would exist as a historical atavism Old England, where the word "gossip", which today is translated as "gossip" or "gossip(s)", meant a man getting drunk with friends, or a woman being a family friend and helping during childbirth. In other words, it extended to people who entered the house, possessed certain information about the family and, under certain circumstances, had the opportunity to “wash dirty linen in public.” Until now, in many countries, gossip is understood as the communication of completely reliable information of a private nature that should not be disclosed.
The words of V. Vysotsky’s song “Rumors” contain the following lines: “Tempered in many troubles, Rumors are spreading, knowing no barriers. There are rumors that there will be no more rumors. Absolutely. There are rumors that gossip will be banned.” How are rumors different from gossip? Hearing is always unreliable, it is mass hypnosis, while gossip implies incomplete or supplemented biased, distorted, but plausible information about someone or something. Rumors affect the interests of every person and are widespread. They are a form of existence public opinion, have a social component. Gossip is purely individual, has a clear targeted nature, is more informative, specific and detailed. They reveal a more intimate and local component, touching on the “shadow”, forbidden side of life, which is passed on “in secret” in a certain circle. The subject of gossip is always a specific person or group of people, for example, an office or holiday romance.
The charming attractive power of gossip lies in the desire to raise your authority, become popular, and make an impression. Timely and appropriate gossip helps the gossiper stand out, elevate himself, and demonstrate to other people that, against the unsightly background of what is being discussed, he looks “white and fluffy.” With a story known only to you, you can do whatever you want. An extraordinary scope for creativity opens up: you can turn it into a heart-warming melodrama, a terrible tragedy or a grotesque comedy, you can change the script, add lines, remove unnecessary scenes. An intelligent woman does not repeat gossip, that's vulgar. She will definitely bring her uniqueness to her new version. Even based on reliable facts, gossip is just made-up information, artistic creativity in the genre of oral history. At the same time, the gossiper’s personality traits are projected onto the object of gossip, reactions to life circumstances that are close to him are attributed, and his personal likes and dislikes are reflected.
Gossiping owes a lot to low intelligence their followers. Man is a social being, in need of communication. There is a desire to communicate, but there is nothing to talk about. I’m already tired of discussing the series “The Dead Don’t Sweat”, I’m also tired of talking about the weather, why not talk about how many husbands Alla Pugacheva had and who does Anna Semenovich live with? Gossiping does not watch the intellectual program “What? Where? When?”, if it were his will, there would be only one program on television: “Who? When? With whom?" From such conversations, gossip gets the feeling of merging souls with its listeners.
The student confessed to the Master that he had bad habit repeat gossip. The master replied with a grin: “Repeating is not such a big sin; The main thing is not to add anything from yourself.” Often gossip is the result of envy or self-interest.
Gossiping, without meaning to, characterizes itself with negative side. A person who lives an interesting life rich life, is not inclined to gossip, that is, to live someone else’s life. Gossiper, living other people's lives, does not have the time and energy to live interestingly own life, he is provoked by the process of transmitting information, in this he finds vital interest and pleasure.
F. Nietzsche wrote: “Gossip is like a shepherd tending his flock.” As a type of verbal control, it signals acceptable boundaries and rules of behavior in a given environment, being a tool for adaptation in an unfamiliar environment. Informal information is especially useful for beginners.
As the Spanish proverb says, “Whoever gossips with you gossips about you.” Smart and decent person realizes that gossip is vicious, it is always disrespect for another person. When a gossip's breath is taken away from the desire to spill curious news into the ears of those around him, no force can stop him. Cover his mouth with tape and he will try to convey the news with facial expressions and gestures. Gossip is a powerful transmission device that operates in the mode: “What about him? And she? And him? And she?”
Petr Kovalev 2013
Intrigues, rumors and gossip are quite common occurrences in human history. They gossiped both at the courts of noble royalty and in the poorest quarters.
But sometimes, in the workplace of the average modern office, intrigues are woven more sophisticated than in the nooks and crannies of medieval castles. At least in those days, a person spreading false stories could be challenged to a fair fight.
There are professions that are quite easy to transition into. fine line between work and actual rumors (or gossip). For example, scientists have studied the tendency to gossip in people different professions. And it turned out that those at risk are specialists who communicate a lot with people: sociologists, teachers, journalists, doctors, psychologists.
It happens that, forgetting about medical confidentiality, a doctor shares with a colleague: “Did you see a woman leaving my office? Such a famous person, but do you know what problems she has?” Or a journalist publishes information he heard from another person without checking it.
Sociologists believe that the majority of people are most interested in information about the shortcomings and problems of other people (for example, their dependence on alcohol, drugs); conflicts and scandals, and especially “highlights” from personal and intimate life(meetings, weddings, divorces, infidelity). But it is curious that people gossip about famous people much less than about a work colleague or former classmate.
Why do people gossip?
Rumors affect more people, but gossip only affects a few. Rumors are abstract and emotional, while gossip is more personalized, more informative and full of details. Rumors are often unreliable, and gossip carries information, untrue or true, verified or not, similar to the fact that this may be the case.
Whatever gossip may be, it carries scientifically certain psychological functions, satisfying the relevant needs of society.
For example, it is important integration function . The exchange of gossip indicates a certain similarity in the hierarchical values, needs or characters of the communicating people. A kind of signal: “We are of the same blood - you and I; I'm just like you; I am mine! Teenage girls gossip about a new classmate, and after a while she herself is already whispering about someone in this group.
One more important function gossip - creating a feeling of security . After all, any dissimilarity causes anxiety and fear in society. So, in a team where it is generally accepted that “everyone cheats, but not everyone gets caught,” an example happy family will cause surprise, indignation, even condemnation and, finally, slander.
Nina, 35 years old: “My employees like to get together over tea and coffee and gossip. I joined them quite rarely, because I believed that there were more important things to do than empty daily chatter. After some time, my colleagues stopped inviting me to “tea parties” and even more important events. When I appeared, they fell silent mid-sentence, and over time I accidentally heard that they had already begun to gossip about me, and quite cruelly.”
Gossip also carries information-cognitive function . This looks like a special appendix to official information. What a person tells about himself (in a friendly circle or in an interview) popular magazine), this is one thing, gossip speaks of something hidden, so to speak back side medals. Sometimes gossip, passing from mouth to mouth, ends up on the pages of tabloid publications, supposedly acquiring a more reliable appearance.
Entertainment and gaming function . Unlike rumors, which are conveyed with a serious air, gossip contains a grain of jokes, irony, and play. As we see, our contemporary people simply need to satisfy their emotional hunger with the help of subjective information with unusual and humorous “twists”, which “they don’t talk about on TV.”
Tactical function . Gossip is often used for a specific tactical purpose. Every morning before the planning meeting, the department manager would “share” news about her junior colleague in a friendly manner with her management: “She doesn’t do her job, she’s lazy, and she does God knows what during off-hours...”
Of course, after such a verbal attack, management was no longer so kind to the subordinate. "Earphones" brought quite real benefit. After all, once upon a time the gossiper herself fell under the hot hand of her superiors and was criticized for incompetence, and in order to divert attention from herself, she has since regularly and purposefully “drained negativity” onto another person.
So this woman “neutralized” her younger and more talented colleague. As a rule, with the help of gossip, by humiliating another person, the gossiper tries to increase his authority and sense of his own advantage.
People prone to gossip are people with a large number personal problems and complexes, which, instead of working on themselves and getting rid of their own shortcomings, look for them in others.
Gossip can be used not only against specific person, This powerful weapon in the fight different groups, For example, political .
For example, the almost annual rumors about swine flu, Spanish flu and pneumonic plague, which spread incredible panic among Ukrainians, are also obviously needed by someone, because they spread with incredible speed and in almost all directions (among people, through the media etc.).
Projection-compensatory function . Any gossip is based on fictitious information, and characterizes the one who spreads it much more than the person being talked about. Psychoanalysts believe that both the characteristics of the gossipers are projected onto the object of gossip - their likes, dislikes, and feelings repressed from their consciousness. Sometimes, with the help of gossip, a person realizes his unfulfilled desires.
The man complained in a friendly manner to his long-time acquaintance about some problems with his young wife. She listened to him, nodded her head sympathetically, and gave advice on family life. And soon complete strangers knew all this in piquant detail.
Own family life The “friend” couldn’t be called particularly happy, so she listened to her colleague with interest, subconsciously rejoicing: “Yeah, not everything is as good with them as it seems at first glance. People have worse problems than I do.”
Trying to divert attention from his unsuccessful and fresh life, she told others about the problems of someone else’s family, adding new nuances of her own that her imagination suggested. Because, as you know, “an intelligent woman does not repeat gossip, she invents it herself.”
Function social control . Gossip is a component of public opinion. It can be a kind of control from the outside ordinary people life and behavior of the elite. Some politicians and famous people behave in such a way that “no one will think anything bad.”
But, as the writer Jonathan Swift noted, “conspiracies formed by small minds against a man who has come into the world with glory only attest to the genius of that man.”
If a person spends so much energy and time talking about other people, perhaps his own life is completely uninteresting. “Living” the lives of other people in conversations, the gossiper no longer has time to live his own.
Gossip is born where drab everyday life, dissatisfaction with one’s own life, often fear, often greed, envy, and sometimes even vindictiveness reign..
And gossip is not as innocent as it seems at first glance. Neurotic disorders, heart attacks, strokes, divorces and even suicides - such consequences can be caused by evil tongues.
Imagine, almost half of lovers or married couples break up for this reason. Interesting fact: Contrary to popular belief, the more dangerous gossips are not women, but men. William Shakespeare brilliantly described the tactics of the evil gossip Iago in Othello. Even schoolchildren know how tragic the ending of this story is.
Of course, no one wants to become a defenseless target for gossip. But, unfortunately, no one is immune from this. Even if you're not a popular movie star or... famous politician, about you may appear various kinds gossip. How to react or counteract them? Here are some simple tips.
Try to be less likely to be around people who like to gossip. Change the topic of conversation, try to offer an alternative one. After all, it is very rightly noted: whoever gossips with you, gossips about you.
Don't talk about other people behind their backs. And if you do, try to see the positive and bright sides in them.
Mature, self-sufficient, altruistic, non-envious and wise individuals do not gossip..
Remember that silence at all times and among all peoples was considered gold.
Do not share information that is important to you with unfamiliar people. No one knows to whom your “friend” from social network or a new acquaintance at a casual party. If you feel overwhelmed, tell a trusted friend about it or contact a qualified psychotherapist.
If gossip is being spread about you, try to treat it philosophically, even with humor. For example, like the famous American writer Mark Twain, when he was informed of his death: “Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”
Don't try to justify yourself and grab the gossiper by the collar. Gossip is a kind of play that requires at least two to play. If you start beating your chest with your fist and shouting that “this is not true!”, then most likely others will think that you have a reason to worry so much.
Your overly emotional reaction may, on the contrary, fuel curiosity about false information. Composer Nikita Bogoslovsky joked about this: “Don’t believe rumors until they are officially refuted.” It’s interesting that people gossip the least about those who sincerely communicate with others and often ironize about himself. Such people, one step ahead of potential gossipers, voice their own funny story about myself.
However, one smart and educated woman told me: when a person is young, beautiful, happy and successful, there will always be gossip behind his back.
How to respond to gossip
1. Don't panic and try not to make the situation worse. Don't forget that the gossiper is counting on manipulating you. If you show violent emotional reaction, which means the goal has been achieved. Remember, all people crave spectacle, and if you let them know that there will be no show, they will quickly lose interest in you. Remaining silent and not reacting to gossip is the most best way stop their further distribution.
2. If you are the kind of person who cannot remain silent, then it is better to talk to the gossiper in front of witnesses. When speaking, act calmly and confidently, and if you can, be cheerful. The main thing is not to make excuses, but try to ask more questions. For example, “I’m very interested, tell me in more detail what exactly you had in mind.” Such a conversation convinces the interlocutor that his trick failed, and he understands that he will not be able to manipulate you.
3. Rumors will appear again if you do not find out the reasons for their occurrence. To prevent gossip and rumors from appearing, do not tell others stories from your life. As you know, what two people know, everyone knows. When the need arises to provide details personal life, sometimes it’s better to keep a diary or talk to a psychologist.
Protection according to all rules
It is impossible to ensure that people do not gossip about you - it simply does not depend on you. It happens that a person, trying to stop gossip, stops telling anything about his life. As a result, conversations continue, only now they are not based on real events, but on absurd inventions, the creativity of which a science fiction writer could envy.
There's no need to make excuses , telling everyone that what was said is not true. Practice shows: than more people concentrates on gossip about himself, the more vulnerability he shows, the more negative things they say about him behind his back. Therefore, the best thing to do is to pay less attention to chatter.
Have pity on the gossiper. A person can have many reasons for saying nasty things about you. This is a desire to take revenge for something, and envy, and low self-esteem - in this case, by saying nasty things about you, he is trying to elevate himself - and simply a lack in life bright events. Be that as it may, all this indicates inferiority, that the person is unhappy. This is worthy of pity, not anger or resentment.
Work with self-esteem. It is not necessary to make it too high, the main thing is that it is more stable. Working with a psychologist will help you understand and evaluate yourself. If you can’t go to him, turn to your loved ones, family, and friends. To those whose opinion is important to you and who treats you favorably. Ask them to talk about your strengths and weaknesses. Just make yourself a promise not to be offended by anything - you are trying to understand yourself.
Use your imagination. It's simple but incredible effective technique. Mentally build a mirror wall around yourself and wish that everything that spiteful critics say about you will be reflected and returned to them. Works. Verified.
When is it good to gossip?
“Of course, gossip is bad, but we found evidence that it plays an important role in maintaining public order,” says social psychologist Robb Wheeler, co-author of the study published in January in the journal Personality and Social Psychology.
Gossip may have therapeutic effects, study finds. Heart rate The volunteers who took part in the experiment experienced increased anxiety when they saw someone behaving badly, but they felt very good when they could pass on information by “warning” others.
The subtext of any gossip is the version that “we are better than them!” This inspires, gives a feeling of superiority - albeit illusory. Gossip entertains, unites, provides mutual support, and even lifts people out of depression. However, everything is good in moderation, because in the end gossipers risk being left alone .
As for the feeling of one's own superiority, then the only person The person with whom you can and should compare yourself is yourself - a week, a month, a year ago. If you have become better at anything during this time, congratulations. And comparing yourself with others is an empty and thankless task. Let the examples of others encourage and inspire you, rather than make you want to gossip.
And remember: if someone is whispering behind your back, it means that you are in front!
Gossip is something that has always been the cause of all sorts of quarrels, conflicts and discord in family, friendly, neighborly and related relationships. It is believed that it is women who are prone to “scratching their tongues” and engaging in gossip. However, this is not entirely true. Among representatives of both sexes there are many who like to gossip. It’s just that for some reason men have a conversation in which they discuss their colleagues, comrades, former and current wives and lovers, called “serious men’s conversation”...
What is gossip
Gossip is discussing a person behind his back not in a positive way, but in a negative way, transmitting inaccurate or fictitious information about him that discredits good name and contain reproach, accusation, condemnation.
Gossiping always takes place in the absence of the subject of the conversation, and both his personal life and character traits, manner of dressing, appearance. Usually gossip begins with the usual mention of a certain person, and then, word by word, a discussion of him begins personal qualities, actions, words, outlook on life, relationships with others, etc. Gossip is always associated with blasphemy, accusations and silence or devaluation good features the character of the person being maligned.
Gossip is information that contains only a small percentage of reliability, but in general it is guesses, assessments, judgments, assumptions, embellishments. Particularly dangerous in this sense are the phrases “she never...”, “she always...”, with the help of which labels are instantly attached and a stigma is placed.
In general, it is common for all of us to talk about others: who was born when, got married, divorced, quit... But you need to control your speech so that an ordinary remark does not entail “washing the bones.” Moreover, gossip behind your back, when spreading, often changes the original meaning of that very innocent remark so much that it is distorted beyond recognition!
After all, a gossip, even when mentioning a specific fact from the life of a third person, adds her personal commentary to it. The one who heard this already interprets what was said in his own way and “inserts his 5 cents.” And if, in a circle, everyone, telling what seems to be the same thing, adds just one “clarifying” word, the original meaning of the fact is distorted. And then it turns out that today you simply tripped and fell at one end of the street, and in a couple of days at the other end of the same street they will be gossiping that you jumped out of the window because of unhappy love...
Types of gossip:
- Unintentional- when one misunderstood something, did not hear enough and told the other his personal version of the information, making it unreliable, without malicious intent, without even realizing that he had started gossip.
- "Sucked out of thin air"- this is when, during a conversation on some neutral topic, one interlocutor uttered a single phrase about a friend, neighbor, work colleague, continuing the conversation further. But the second one “caught on” this phrase and, when communicating with others, distorted it, embellishing it with his own judgments and guesses.
- Evil- when, in a fit of anger and resentment, a person splashes out his negativity, slandering the one who caused the pain. It seems to him, they say, what’s wrong with this, he told everything as it is. But any phrases thrown in a fit of anger carry a negative connotation; negative characteristics, assessments and exaggerations, paraphrases, and distorted meanings are necessarily added to them.
Dangerous if in this case a gossip is a friend who knows many of the offender's secrets. After all, under the influence of the emotion of anger, it is difficult to resist spilling secrets.
- Intrigue- when pre-planned gossip is launched into certain circle persons to discredit someone's name. This usually happens in a team, where you just need to “annoy”, undermine the reputation of a good employee, remove a competitor or an unwanted applicant for a position. (Find out how to avoid intrigue at work .)
- Professional- when gossip “is in the blood.” Slandering and gossiping about such people is like drinking water. They cannot live a day without talking with some about others, without finding out latest news, rumors and do not discuss them.
Reasons for Gossiping
- Interest and curiosity. People are interested in hearing something new about those they know in person or in absentia. And there is nothing wrong with this if the facts are not distorted during the conversation and the interest is healthy and sincere. Questions like “What’s new with Alena?” or “How is Masha doing?” are usually natural in communication. They do not entail negativity if they are followed by several neutral ones common phrases, and this closes the topic. If, in the absence of the same Alena or Masha, discussions begin about their personal lives, “dropping in someone else’s dirty laundry,” which drags on for half an hour or an hour, then ordinary curiosity gradually develops into gossip.
- Disrespect for people. The habit of creating rumors and maintaining conversations with gossip, slander and lies arises only among those who treat others without respect, in a superior manner, giving themselves the right to judge, make verdicts and sentences. Arrogance not eating good.
- Envy. Often, people who talk a lot about someone in a negative way are simply jealous of him. And by looking for shortcomings in the object of envy, they reduce the importance of this person and, as it were, convince themselves that there is nothing to envy. (Find out what to do if your friend is jealous .)
- Boredom and lack of self-employment. When your own life is gray and nothing interesting happens in it, why not gossip about someone else’s life? full of events and situations that definitely need to be discussed? Many people gossip simply because they have nothing to do. And most often these are women who do not have a job ( maternity leave or pension) or families who have a lot of free time. And “scratching with your tongue” is a great way to keep yourself occupied with something when you’re bored.
- Stress and tension. It's interesting that by gossiping you can remove internal tension, dissatisfaction with oneself and get rid of bad mood. After all, by speaking badly about someone, the gossip, although or unwillingly, humiliates the person and consciously or unconsciously experiences pleasure, because At the same time, he feels, like, “I’m not like that, but I’m good,” “I would never do that, because I’m good,” “This wouldn’t happen in my life, because I’m good,” “Yes, compared to “Hey, everything’s great with me!” etc...
- Jealousy. When trying to eliminate a rival in love or friendship, not everyone acts by honest methods. Why, if there are such light and quick ways getting rid of unnecessary third things like gossip and slander?
- Lack of spiritual life. The habit of gossiping is negative trait character of those who are spiritually poor. After all, believers know that judging others is a sin. “Judge not, lest ye be judged, for with the same judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
How to avoid being branded as a gossip:
Try not to talk bad about anyone behind the person's back,
If you have to mention third parties in conversations, then do it neutrally, without giving any characteristics or assessments,
Watch your language and train of thoughts, control your speech, avoiding negativity and sarcastic statements,
Don’t allow yourself to be drawn into gossip, change the conversation to another topic if you see that your interlocutor is starting to gossip about someone,
Don’t judge anyone, even if you don’t understand the motives behind the behavior of others, because we are all different, and no one should look at the world through your eyes,
Know how to keep other people's secrets
Don’t envy, because envy is one of the main reasons for slander and devaluation of other people’s actions, words and relationships (find out how to stop being jealous of a friend ),
When you hear something about another person, do not savor this information by discussing it over and over again.
Use your own arguments and arguments and accept from others only facts, and not reasoning, guesses and conjectures,
Refrain from making negative assessments of other people's behavior, their appearance, character, etc.,
Even if you are very angry with someone and want to discuss the offender, do not do this, keep your mouth shut so as not to say too much in a fit of anger to other people who have nothing to do with your conflict,
Learn to recognize dubious information and deception, notice manifestations of lies, cunning and insincerity in yourself,
If you really want to discuss the behavior of a person that does not suit you, or find out something about his personal life, talk about everything that is gnawing at you with the person himself, looking him straight in the eyes, and not behind his back,
Develop spiritually, read spiritual literature so that the thought becomes firmly established in your mind: do not judge, lest you be judged... After all, you know very well what gossip is, that it is bad and ugly, that it is a sin...
