There is physical and mental pain. The first one is quite easy to deal with, because modern medicine can quickly determine its source and prescribe the necessary course of treatment. But with mental pain everything is much more complicated. Therefore, many people live with it for years without fully understanding what caused it to appear.
But psychology does not stand still. Having delved into the nooks and crannies of consciousness, experts have learned a lot about the human psyche, in particular how to get rid of mental pain. Following simple tips, you can not only overcome your inner suffering, but also regain lost happiness.
Mental pain: what is it?
It is very difficult to give an accurate description of this phenomenon. After all, the inner world cannot be measured, touched, and even less seen. But at the same time, the sensations of psychological trauma are no less painful than those of a fracture or burn, and sometimes they can be much worse.
So what is heartache? First of all, it is a feeling caused by consciousness in response to emotional shock. Depending on the cause of its occurrence, the pain can be either barely noticeable or heartbreaking. But even after minor shocks, a person feels overwhelmed and broken, as if he had run out of electricity.
And if you do nothing, then soon the pain will be complemented by despair. And when you give up completely, depression will come. But fighting this enemy is much more difficult, and sometimes even impossible without the help of a specialist.
But before you learn how to cope with mental pain, you should understand its sources. After all, this is the only way to overcome her without harming yourself.
Where do emotional shocks come from?
Many are sure that emotional distress can only arise after serious emotional upheaval. For example, the death of a loved one, the discovery of a serious illness, an accident, betrayal, and so on. Naturally, such life shocks will affect a person’s psyche, but the truth is that in most cases, the causes of mental pain are less noticeable reasons.
So, what can disrupt inner harmony and let confusion into your soul?
1. Life behind the mask. IN modern world Often you have to lie, not only to others, but also to yourself. This is necessary to expose yourself to better light- become more significant. But you'll have to pay for your lies peace of mind, because our consciousness does not like being played with. And even more so, it will not calmly accept the fact that they want to change it.
2. Unfinished tasks. Quite often, mental pain arises from dissatisfaction with one’s own actions. For example, when, because of work, you have to sacrifice a child’s performance, or when, instead of going to the gym, a person lay on the couch all day. All these unfulfilled dreams, plans and meetings fall like a dead weight on your shoulders and are guaranteed to lead to emotional depression.
3. Impotence. Lack of money, strength, beauty, health, knowledge - this list can be continued for a very long time, but the essence is the same - powerlessness. When a person cannot get what he wants, he suffers.
There's nothing worse than unrequited love
Heartache from love is isolated case. Unlike other troubles, unrequited feelings can hurt greatly. And what more people strives to get the object of his admiration, the stronger the pain digs into his heart.
IN similar cases It is often said that a person seems to be drying up. This is partly true, because apart from dreams of his beloved, he is not interested in anything. It becomes completely unimportant what is happening around, what people are around and what to do next.
And in order to save its owner from danger, consciousness sends him an alarm signal - pain. In this way, the brain tries to force a person to look around and understand that it is impossible to live like this any longer.
Three strict prohibitions
Before you begin your own healing, you should remember one thing important rule: Never slide into the abyss of vice. Indeed, during this period the temptation is very great, and, alas, many succumb to it, making more and more attempts to quench their pain with the help of alcohol, nicotine and drugs.
This method not only does not relieve pain, but also increases emotional distress. The feeling of one’s own lack of will complements the already gray picture, pushing one to give up. Having set foot on this path, a person is deprived of the opportunity to reason sensibly, which will certainly lead to defeat.
Therefore, it is worth strictly prohibiting alcohol, drugs and cigarettes. This will not only help you concentrate on finding a solution to the problem, but will also keep you healthy. And, as you know, it is worth its weight in gold. It is much better to get addicted to green tea, it is not only healthy, but can also lift your mood a little.
Awareness is the first step to peace of mind
As stated above, heartache comes in many forms. Therefore, it is important to understand what caused it this time. Having looked into yourself, you should understand your own feelings, how long ago they appeared.
In most cases, the answer lies on the surface, you just have to look a little closer and you will find it. After this, solving the problem will be much easier, because, knowing the enemy by sight, you can build a war strategy.
But sometimes there are several sources of emotional excitement, and they are so closely intertwined that it is difficult to distinguish them from each other. Therefore, even when the main problem is found, you should continue to search, because who knows what else is hidden from view.
Perhaps, at first, such an exploration of one’s own consciousness will not be easy, but you should not stop. Over time, this practice will become commonplace, Furthermore, the brain will begin to take it for granted, opening access to hidden corners of consciousness.
Not all problems can be solved
Sometimes it is impossible to eliminate the cause of mental pain. For example, you cannot resurrect a dead person, erase memories of a loved one, become someone else at one moment, and so on. What to do then? How to cope with mental pain?
Answer: no way. It is simply impossible to completely get rid of such pain, no matter how much time passes. The only thing that remains is to learn to live with this feeling, to accept it as part of yourself. This will help reduce the pain just enough that you can calmly coexist with it.
Although this does not seem like a very happy prospect, it is still the reality. And accepting it means embarking on the path of getting rid of suffering. This is the only way to get the much-desired peace and begin to experience joyful feelings again.
Eat, sleep and walk
Because of emotional stress the body weakens, and as a result, problems become more and more difficult to deal with. Therefore, it is very important not to forget about things like sleep, food and walks in the fresh air.
- When going to bed, a person is left alone with his problems, which sometimes makes it very difficult to fall asleep. But you need to understand that without a night's rest the brain does not work well, which will further aggravate the situation. To fall asleep faster, you should use counting rhymes; they help you to distract yourself and relax.
- Healthy eating. You should not eat stress with anything, otherwise stomach problems will be added to the mental trauma. It is also worth taking care of your daily intake of vitamins and minerals; they will strengthen not only the body, but also the psyche.
- Walks. Even though in times like these you might want to hide from the world, you shouldn’t do that. Small hiking Walking around the area will not only enrich your blood with oxygen, but will also help you unwind a little. The main thing is not to delve into yourself, but to try to catch something new in the surrounding landscape.
Sport is the best doctor
Nothing dispels sadness like active training. Fortunately, in the modern world there is great amount all kinds of sports clubs and gyms, so finding the right one won’t be difficult.
Sport can not only distract from current problems, but can also strengthen the will. Will make the mind more resistant to psychological stress and stress. He teaches you to win and overcome your own fears and failures.
The most difficult thing in this method is to take the first step, go out the door and go the right address. And if you still can’t force yourself, then at least you should start doing exercises in the morning. Even if not much, it will help.
Visits to a psychologist
Experts know how to get rid of mental pain. A qualified psychologist will not only help you find the cause of suffering, but will also suggest the most effective ways her decisions. Unfortunately, many people are afraid of such meetings, because, in their opinion, this is a manifestation of weakness, and sometimes even worse - a mental disorder.
But the reality is that a psychologist can really help. And if you make an effort on yourself and turn to him, you can avoid many problems, including the appearance of depression.
But be that as it may, one thing is important - mental pain exists, and we need to fight it. There are many methods for this, but their essence is one - move forward, no matter what happens.
Explore true nature of your Soul. The soul is female by nature, and the Spirit is male. The union of Soul and Spirit gives birth to integrity. Living in a chauvinistic world, we deny the feminine consciousness of the Soul and develop the masculine, thereby creating an imbalance in our lives. Realize that your Soul is a woman by nature, and it suffers from the desire to suppress feminine energy.
Your feminine energy is 1) imagination 2) passion and desires 3) emotions and 4) creativity. Likewise, your masculine energy consists of 1) willpower 2) action and motivation 3) intelligence 4) productivity. When you value and support your feminine energy, you nourish and heal your Soul. Explore the components of feminine energy, discover the power of imagination, creativity, passion and emotion. By devoting time to developing these qualities, you strengthen your Soul.
Deepen your connection with the Divine. Reconsider your perception of spirituality and make this new understanding part of your practice, no matter what religion you belong to. Spirituality is your personal and private relationship with God. Everyone has their own relationship with God, even atheists. It may be a dysfunctional relationship, but it is still a relationship. It's akin to reason. Each person has his own relationship with his own mind, it may be developed, or it may suffer from a severe lack of interaction, but still this relationship exists. Every person is a spiritual being, and it is through the Soul that we gain connection with the Divine. Deepen this connection, and God, whatever His name, will help you heal your Soul.
Explore passions and pleasures. We are taught to fill the place of passion with responsibilities and obligations. Most people believe that they do not have time for pleasures and hobbies and, thereby, starve their Soul. If you don't know what you're passionate about, start searching. possible options and make a list of 5 ways to bring more fun into your life.
Turn within and learn relaxing meditation. In a relaxed state, you can quiet your mind and listen to the voice of your intuition. If you are not familiar with meditation, it is not a problem; it is not that difficult to learn. The easiest way is to find a good CD with a meditation guide. Find similar posts through an Internet search engine, and meditation will help you not only relax, but also heal your connection with your own Soul. By relaxing and turning inward, you can meet the love and compassion of your Soul. Tip: Find a teacher with a pleasant and soothing voice.
Dive deeper into your feelings. Your emotions also have a connection with the Soul. Start keeping a diary and try to express in it the repressed emotions seething somewhere deep inside you. You will discover that underneath these repressed emotions lies creativity, passion, intuition and imagination. It's like finding buried treasure. The price of this discovery is the willingness to feel and express all unpleasant feelings, including anger, pain, disappointment and fear. By doing this, you will create a more harmonious space for your Soul.
Throughout his life, a person has experienced mental or physical pain at least once. But we forget about physical pain very quickly as soon as we cure it. And the pain in our souls does not leave us for many years, only slightly dulling the small details in our memory.
Reasons for the development of pain in the soul
This is pain that appears after a strong emotional shock. Pain in the soul arises due to fear, anxiety, vanity, while a person cannot breathe, and people crawl into his head. bad thoughts. We can say that mental pain is the sobbing of the heart. It's a slowly eating, inexplicable feeling that only time can heal.
For some time, the pain in the soul dulls. But as soon as you encounter a similar situation or meet a person who brought you suffering, the mental pain resumes. To protect themselves, many close themselves off from everyone, plunging headlong into their careers, earning millions and occupying a respectable position in society. They remember childhood or youth grievances very well and perhaps thanks to such experiences they have become stronger.
The pain in the soul is not physiological, but mental. In our lives, circumstances often arise when we really want to express our opinion, but due to a number of circumstances we are unable to do so. After this, the person may experience an attack of coughing or suffocation. After a person speaks out, it immediately becomes easier.
It follows from this that you don’t need to keep a grudge in yourself; if you have any complaints, say so directly, you shouldn’t accumulate negativity in yourself. The offense must be forgotten, but it’s not that easy. The fact is that needs and desires do not always coincide with stereotypes. Taboos and prohibitions prevent you from fully realizing your desires and needs. This often happens when the prohibitions in childhood are very strict.
Why is it important to get rid of pain in the soul?
Psychology is a very serious science, so its justifications regarding mental pain tell us that we need to pay attention to such things and try to get rid of this kind of illness. This problem relates more to the psychomatic direction, therefore it is necessary to fight this illness special techniques.
Why is pain in the soul dangerous? With its pressure, it very often leads us to real sores, for example, coughing; many experience suffocation. As you can see, the consequences are very dire.
Pain in the soul, resentment and anger can result in diseases such as:
arthritis, hypertension,
anorexia nervosa.
Don't be afraid to ask for psychological help? to get rid of mental pain. Why carry a feeling of resentment throughout your life?!
How to get rid of mental pain?
What medicine will help in this case? The most effective advice to get rid of pain in the soul is to speak out. Yes, yes, just pour out my soul to the best friend, friend, relative. At least after this kind of “confession” people get better and this is a scientific fact.
Some tips for those facing this problem:
Never accumulate negativity in yourself, try to get rid of it, speak out, throw it all out. If you keep everything in your soul and head, this can only complicate the situation. Believe me, psychologists have noted many times that psychological disorders often lead to deterioration in physiological terms.
Don't be offended by people, even if they did something bad to you. To get rid of the pain in your soul, forgive everything, it will be easier for you.
Pain in the soul Lately very often leads girls to a state of anorexia, so in no case violate your diet, be vigilant, watch your health.
If you experience this type of discomfort, you may need to see a doctor. There have been recorded cases where, as a result of seemingly ordinary mental pain, people developed ulcers and hypertension.
How to get rid of mental pain - psychologists advise
Mental pain began to get everything greater distribution among other ailments that arise from psychological trauma. How to deal with it? Effective tips is there such a situation? The question is very difficult, because sometimes our pain is caused not by some nonsense, but by a real “catastrophe” in life, which does not allow us to sleep or spend time normally.
Some tips to help with the question:
- broke up with your boyfriend, no problem. Don’t cry into your pillow, this will only make you worse, don’t call, don’t write or ask him to come back, why humiliate yourself. Do something good for your body and soul, buy a gym membership, yoga, attend various language or beauty courses, update your wardrobe. Live for yourself, walk, have fun.
- if others do not accept you, then to get rid of mental pain, get yourself a pet, immerse yourself in reading, take up cooking. There are many ways to keep yourself busy and improve, you shouldn’t reach out to people and then they will reach out to you.
How to get rid of mental pain through self-hypnosis?
An excellent method recommended by psychologists is self-hypnosis. For example, your first love was not like what they write in books or what films are made about, you were offended, humiliated, or cheated on. The first desire that comes to mind is to take brutal revenge on the offender. In a fit of anger, this seems to be the only correct decision.
But it’s better to get rid of mental pain, just forget this person, erase him from your memory. To do this, imagine the moment you met in detail, but regard your offender as a completely different person. As if nothing bad happened, but mentally burn the memory of that evil. Clearly imagine pictures and pleasant moments with that good man as if it all really happened. Convince yourself that everything is fine and there were no hard feelings. To many this method helped, even if not completely cured, then at least halve the pain that the past insult brings.
As you can see, all our psychological disorders, including pain in the soul, lead to serious complications in our body. All this is directly related to the nervous system, our feelings and emotions. Try to find support among your family and friends, and don’t forget to contact a psychologist - in this situation, he will be able to guide you along the right path.
Ecology of life. When old wounds open and pain pours out like a bucket, when, as in the worst dream, you are suddenly left completely alone and it is not clear who to blame for this…. To prevent your heart from becoming hardened and your soul from drying out, it is important to allow yourself to cry...
When old wounds open and pain pours out like a bucket when, as in your worst nightmare, you are suddenly left completely alone and it is not clear who to blame for this... To prevent your heart from becoming hardened and your soul from drying out, it is important to allow yourself to cry... Tears will wash away the wound.
With the deepest love and regret, fill it with memories of what you once were and what path you had to go through in order to today allow yourself to just cry in complete safety, sitting serenely on your sofa.
And maybe you were even lucky and there was a friend next to you who nods in time with your sobs and swears at all those who offended you. He probably knows how tears heal, how they burn out everything that gives rise to them: grievances burn in the heart with a blue flame, events dissipate in memory as ashes, wounds are covered with scar tissue... And gradually... over time... peace and grace will reign in the empty conflagration...
how to heal your heartache
To a greater or lesser extent, such sore spots exist in each of us. This is because there is no life without surprises. And many of them are completely unclear how to cope.
Great nature has placed three standard way response to any physical and psychological danger. Two of them - flight and fight - are completely justified and logical. When a person is faced with an incomprehensible or dangerous situation, his body is immediately filled with strength to cope with circumstances or avoid them in some way.
When, for any reason, it turns out to be impossible to release this energy through action, a person instinctively resorts to the third method - he freezes. All tension that arises in the body remains bound inside nervous system until the very moment when the “danger” has passed. Scientists call this reaction immobilization. Most often, trauma is born in this place. It arises not so much because we freeze, but because we do not die away when it is already quite safe to do so.
how to heal psychological trauma
In other words, trauma is the remnants of accumulated psychological and, accordingly, physical stress, which one way or another breaks out and requires release. This is why people who have experienced trauma sometimes behave strangely. They continually replay memories of the trauma in their minds. They literally live in the past, coming up with different real and unreal options for how things could be. They refuse to accept reality. They return to the “scene of the incident.” They may even structure any new relationship in such a way as to relive the traumatic event. Thus, a person rejected in love will not only be afraid of rejection in a new relationship, but will also do everything to be rejected again. Psychologists even have a term - “the trauma of the rejected.”
From the point of view of sanity, such behavior seems stupid. Friends, relatives, parents, wives and husbands advise you to immediately begin to behave reasonably. Little do they know that when a person returns physically or emotionally to their trauma, they are actually acting very wisely, intuitively or even instinctively. He rushes to the place where the intense tension was born, in order to be able to do what did not work out then - to reset, or, more simply put, to use up the stagnant energy. He just doesn't really understand how to do it correctly. And as a result, returning leads to repeated difficult feelings and emotions that only intensify the trauma. It seems to be running in a spiral that tightly twists trauma into the very depths of the human soul.
However, turning this path back, despite all the apparent difficulties, is quite within the power of every person, especially those with professional help. You can start with simple understanding, What's on biological level For any individual who finds himself in a difficult psychological or physiological situation, survival is important. This is an ancient instinct, without which people would not exist in this world. It cannot be controlled by even the most enlightened and spiritually developed mind. Surviving means winning! This is the simple and clear logic of nature and human nature. This is the starting point from which the healing of any trauma begins.
So, it's time to deal with your own wounds. Please think about what injury, pain or wound you would like to begin to heal today... Now ask yourself honestly:
WHAT DID I DO TO SURVIVE?
I always ask this question first, because in acute negative state a person is inclined to see his own mistakes and mistakes more. At the same time, he absolutely devalues everything that he has already been able to do to cope with the painful situation. Sometimes, one simple realization: “I did everything I understood and could at that moment” brings enormous relief.
When you begin to constructively and gradually analyze the situation in which you were so painfully wounded, you suddenly notice that you could have acted in many other ways, which perhaps would have led to different results or consequences. I carefully ensure that these remarks do not become an internal reproach to the already diseased heart, and respected the lessons that had already been learned thanks to a new, unfortunately sad, experience.
What can you do if a person really quickly and effectively learns solely from his suffering. So, The time has come to separate the experience from what you learned from it:
What did I learn from this situation?
What did you understand?
What did I see differently?
What is the right thing to do, what to say, what to do if next time something similar starts happening to me?
And only when all your own merits are seen and appreciated, and all the lessons are thoroughly learned, you can move on and ask yourself:
WHAT DID I NOT DO BUT IT HELPED ME SURVIVE?
This important question can turn your whole life upside down.
One of my clients, who had been raped, was still beating and punishing herself five years after the horrific event for not resisting, fighting, screaming, or biting. The girl literally brought herself to the point of exhaustion and exhaustion, until she suddenly realized that it was her humility and silence, in the literal sense of the word, that helped her stay alive. The time has come for pure and sincere tears, full of gratitude to myself. With all these tears, the torment flowed away. For the first time in long years the soul of a very young girl was filled to the brim with peace and quiet.
Almost always, such awareness and understanding makes it easier general state, but rarely when the injury itself is healed. It is like an onion that must be carefully peeled layer by layer to get to the core. The first layer is the semantic integration of traumatic experience into life. The questions I shared above will help you with this. It is quite possible to answer them yourself. Now it's time to move on.
Anyone's heart mental wound lives in our memory, pulsates in our nerves and twists our entire body. Trauma can only be healed by releasing tension on all three levels. Memory, emotions and the body, which directly experiences all this, are inseparably connected with each other. You pull one thread and you will certainly begin to unravel the whole tangle of traumatic pain.
For convenience, I will break the technique into several steps:
Step 1: Drawing up an internal trauma map.
At this point I will ask you to refer to your memory. Remember the very beginning of that situation, which later turned out to be unbearable, difficult and (or) painful for you. If you dare to work on your own, and not with your psychologist or psychotherapist, it is better to take a piece of paper to simply write detailed story about what and how happened to you in chronological sequence.
However, these will not be just memories in the usual sense of the word. I would ask you to be very attentive to yourself and note:
- what moments in your description no longer evoke any emotions in you;
- at what moments does your body overreact with tears, worry, fear, or even anger? It doesn’t matter what the emotion is, even if you can’t name it, but your body responds to the memory with any discomfort, note it for yourself. It is better to highlight these points with a marker.
As a result, at this step you should see with your own eyes not only at what moment the certain emotions, but also what stimulus caused them. It could be anything: someone’s word, a smell, a picture before your eyes, your own thought.
For example, one of my clients first felt an acute sense of helplessness when, in early childhood, she was strapped to a medical chair to have her tonsils cut out. This feeling came at the very moment when the doctor tightened the bandages. The feeling of stiffness in her hands haunted her most of her life. For some it was just an unpleasant operation, but for my client it turned into a psychological trauma that affected her entire subsequent life.
By by and large, you need to find the very birth of the mental pain that haunts you and determine what specifically caused this birth.
Step 2: Find opportunities and ways to release ALL stuck feelings and states.
release heartache
In fact, this stage may take you from a few minutes to several weeks. Everything depends entirely on your ability to express real experiences in the form concrete actions, actions, words and emotions. I used the word “real” because sometimes pent-up emotions can transform into other states and feelings that a person notices in himself and focuses on them as negative. Thus, depression very often (not always!) hides aggression that is not expressed in an acceptable way, which you cannot immediately see behind an unhappy and depressed face.
At this stage, we will begin to explore our real original motives that are stuck in us. To do this, you need to return to your memory again. To the very beginning of the events that we have already begun to analyze. And I will ask you to begin to live this memory in your memory in chronological order, as you did in the first step. However, this time we will correct your memory a little. Every time you approach the most emotional moments of a difficult event, stop and think:
HOW WOULD I LIKE TO ANSWER? GO? DO? REACT?
And only when you decide on the answer, manifest this reaction in your imagination to the fullest extent possible. In the therapeutic process, I actively involve the body in the work. If a person wants to scream, he screams; if he wants to fight, he fights; if he wants to speak out, he speaks out. One rule works here: “how many painful, irritating stimuli come, so many people must give answers and reactions to these stimuli.” Quite meticulous and intensive work.
One of my clients was going through a difficult divorce. It's been a little over two years since her marriage ended, but she feels stuck in that time. She lived as if the divorce was still ongoing.
When we began working with her, we noticed that she obediently listened to a lot of negative statements and accusations addressed to her from her husband. Perhaps it was easier for him, but he blamed his wife entirely for the deplorable situation of their family. The fairly tortured woman was silent, cried, apologized, and promised to change. However, a huge storm of indignation was seething inside her. In fact, she had something to answer her husband. But the fear of being alone and the hope that everything could be fixed forced her to remain silent.
First of all, we decided that there really was no chance. More than two years have passed. The divorce took place officially and physically. They no longer live together. He left for another family. This means it makes sense to look at what is stuck in her soul and still inexorably worries her. At first timidly, then more and more boldly, the enormous pain of a woman living in deep loneliness in her life fell upon me in the form of a stream of words. own family. She managed to voice and express all the reproaches, comments, hopes, feelings, thoughts. Everything I wanted to say to my husband at that moment. And as soon as last words disappeared into the air, there was silence. Deep breath and: “Now it seems to me that getting a divorce was first and foremost for me correct solution“... Is it worth noting that a completely different story began next?
I will share with you one more therapy, which for me at that time turned out to be one of the most difficult professionally and personally:
While still very young, the young man had the opportunity to meet tragic death loved one. He steadfastly survived the news of death, the funeral and the three years of subsequent life. Friends and family admired the endurance of his spirit. He turned to me as a specialist in psychosomatics. He was tormented by severe headaches, which only intensified over time. Medicines hardly helped.
We started by simply listening to the pain, which, like peals of thunder with increasing force, diverged with a characteristic crash throughout inner surface skulls The pain grew, throbbed and beat. It grew...pulsated and beat...When you listen to your illness, or rather the feeling that is associated with it, you certainly come to its beginning, to its peculiar origin on the timeline of our life history. There, in this place, maybe even in the very distant past, something else is happening, something in our inner world It’s not over yet, but for some reason we missed it. Illness turns our attention to the past so that we can help resolve what has come to an end.
Very quickly, in one of the first hypnosis sessions, headache brought young man to the only memory remaining in his consciousness of that tragic period of his life. Then, right after the familiar voice on the telephone, speaking about the girl’s death, he first felt a sharp blow inside his head. The thought flashed and thundered like bright lightning: “No! That's impossible!" And then the fog... fragments of thoughts about the need to pull himself together... And the memory receded, erasing behind it all the feelings and memories that could prevent him from controlling himself. Whenever a person stops natural physical or mental processes in himself, he pays an exorbitant price with his health and, ultimately, with his life.
Trauma is a natural process in which a person learns to cope with an unexpected, non-standard and difficult situation for him. My client, in order to look decent, was able to stop the mental pain. But even deeply hidden, it found loopholes and manifested itself in the form of a headache.
Three therapy sessions in a row with only one resounding “No!” sounded in my office. He fought back by punching the wall. It resulted in angry claims towards death and hatred towards all those who are still so carefree alive. Literally vomiting from the inside of a person came the refusal to accept such a blatant, absolutely incomprehensible injustice into one’s life. This hysteria continued for some time, until at one moment tears flowed... and immeasurable grief spilled out like a huge deep ocean before our eyes:
What should I do now? What should I do now? - the man cried quietly...
To be, my dear, to be... - in a timid whisper echoed the beat...
We worked together for a little over eight months. During this time, the headaches gradually went away, reconciling my client with reality, in which, unfortunately, there is a place for real losses.
This step on the path to healing trauma is the most difficult. I do not recommend anyone to go through it alone. But if you still decide, live your trauma competently in your inner world, adding to your memories all the nuances that I described above. I'm not actually asking you to change your memories. But I ask you to supplement them with all that hidden, unmanifested that was born and took place.. No matter how deep and great the trauma may be, it is only your part, your smaller part. You are always bigger, which means stronger.
heal mental wounds
My dear reader, sometimes it is not at all easy to live in this world. I only wish you never to close yourself off, not to despair and not to push away all those who are nearby, who love and are ready to help. Don't be ashamed or afraid to accept any help from friends and professionals. After all, if you don’t survive your pain today, you run the risk of realizing at the end of your life that you lived only through it, that you tasted and savored it all your way! Is the price too high? Isn't our life (and the lives of those connected to us) worth at least a little effort to resolve suffering, heal our hearts and ease our souls?! published
Each of us at least once in our lives has encountered such a condition as mental pain. It can occur after the death of a loved one. Also, mental pain visits us when parting or being separated from a person who is very dear to us. Mental pain appears when our personal self-awareness suffers, we feel bad and our mind is looking for some way out of the current situation.
What is mental pain
Is there an organ in our body called the soul? Any doctor will answer no. But why then does it hurt? In fact, mental pain manifests itself in the discomfort of consciousness, in the violation of the integral “I”. When it’s difficult for you, it hurts, you don’t want to accept life situation and put up with it, your soul refutes information from the outside.
With mental pain, your heart contracts as if in a vice, it becomes difficult for you to breathe, your eyes are clouded, and your thoughts are concentrated on only one situation in your life. Mental pain does not allow you to live, work, or study normally. With severe mental pain, a person stops any social life, he closes himself within four walls and endlessly thinks, thinks, thinks... Perhaps he is wondering if everything could have been different, if he could have prevented the current situation.
The human soul is like Living being who is ill during a period of serious emotional upheaval. And this soul, undoubtedly, must be treated so that it does not die. After all, if the soul dies, a person becomes cold, indifferent and angry at the whole world. This cannot be allowed.
Causes of mental pain
Mental pain can visit us in different life situations.
- A loss loved one causes severe mental pain. At first the person cannot come to terms with what happened. He denies in every possible way what happened and does not want to accept it. Gradually, his consciousness accepts and comes to terms with what happened - this is the next stage of experiencing what happened. A person learns to live without the deceased, builds his life without him. All stages of suffering from loss must be gradual and consistent so that a person gets rid of mental pain in the required time frame.
Usually grief goes away within a year of the absence of a loved one and loved one. After that, humility remains. Even in religion there are rules according to which you cannot cry for a long time for a deceased person, because “he will feel bad in the next world.” No one can check whether this is true, but long suffering will indeed not lead to anything good. - Parting with a loved one. This is also one of the most powerful experiences. When a close loved one leaves, the world collapses, as well as all the plans made for life together. It is important here not to forget the reason why the separation occurred. Did he leave you? Then why do you need him like that? If a person could not consider all your advantages, you should not run after him and humiliate yourself. There will be someone who will appreciate you. And if you left him, then do not forget about the reasons why you made such a decision. Every time I think about him " beautiful eyes“Remember why you decided to break up.
- Illness of a family member or friend. It is also quite a strong and painful feeling. Especially when the disease is serious. Mental pain gnaws at any stage of the disease, especially if a child is sick. Parents feel incredibly guilty. It seems to them that they could have saved, protected, and noticed minor symptoms earlier. The feeling of guilt for not looking after the child gnaws from the inside. In this case, you need to try to pull yourself together and tell yourself that you are not to blame for anything. This could happen to anyone. And in general, you have every opportunity to return a sick person to old life. Be strong at least for his sake. And don't stop fighting.
- Betrayal. When there is a betrayal of a dear and close person, mental pain shackles all the insides. This is very difficult to experience. It's about not only about love betrayal, although this is also, undoubtedly, betrayal clean water. A close friend or relative can also betray. After betrayal, the main thing is not to become angry at the whole world and not to become hardened. You need to accept that people are different and you didn’t get the best specimen.
- Humiliation. For a person, this feeling is another catalyst for severe mental pain. Children suffer when their parents undeservedly and unfairly punish them, a wife suffers from a tyrant husband, subordinates tiptoe around their demon boss in fear of losing their jobs. Such destruction of personality can be found all the time; it has a very strong effect on the psyche. A raped woman experiences the strongest emotional distress—mental pain remains with her almost until the end of her life. Getting rid of such an experience is not easy, because every time we replay the events of the ill-fated day in front of us and remember everything in detail. Any memory is like a knife stabbing into our heart. In this case, you need to understand that you are not to blame for the current situation, you were simply a victim in this case. Find the strength to accept this situation and move past it. Become stronger and prevent this from happening in later life.
These are the main, but not all, reasons why a person may experience mental pain. Anything can happen in life, because life is a series of good and bad moments, and you need to be able to cope with negativity.
- First and most important. After you have suffered, accepted and survived the situation, you cannot be left alone with it. You can’t isolate yourself and suffer, suffer, suffer. Your loved ones, family, and friends should help you with this. They should keep you busy with something interesting and exciting all the time. Try not to sit at home, go out for a walk, just wander around the city. Four walls won't cure your heartache.
- If your pain is mixed with anger, it needs to be poured out. you're angry at specific person, situation, life or destiny? Buy a punching bag for home and hit it as much as you like. This way you can throw out your emotions and experiences.
- Animals are considered the best remedy for treating mental pain. They relieve anxiety, worries, and stress incredibly easily. Instead of a melancholic cat, it is better to choose a perky little dog that will not leave you sitting still. A trip to the dolphinarium will also be effective. Dolphins have unique ability charge with energy and give the desire to live.
- Forgive and ask for forgiveness. If the cause of your mental pain is guilt, repent. Ask for forgiveness from the person you offended. Conversely, if you are angry with someone, stop doing it. Mentally let the person go and be happy for the situation that happened. For example, if you were betrayed, understand that it’s good that it happened now, and not many years later. If you were wronged undeservedly and very strongly, let go and believe that fate will reward the offender what he deserves and will take revenge for you.
- Get creative. After all, mental pain creates a gap and emptiness that needs to be filled with something. Drawing, dancing, music, singing, and embroidery help to cope well with emotional experiences. You will be able to pour out all your pain into this activity and get rid of it forever.
- Constant self-destruction can lead to real illness in the body. So stop blaming yourself for what happened. Try to get rid of mental pain with help physical activity. A great choice is running. While running through the alleys, park or forest, you can be alone with yourself, listen to music and finally understand what exactly excites you. Another real way Swimming is the way to relieve stress. The water will take away all your worries. Physical activity produces positive hormones that will help you cope with emotional stress.
- There is another way to get rid of worries and pain. Write everything that worries you on paper. All your tears, worries, worries - everything that makes you suffer. And then burn your letter and scatter the ashes to the wind. This psychological technique will force you to mentally let go of your emotional state.
How to prevent heartache from returning
Some people like to suffer. They have not experienced anxiety for a long time, but they are satisfied with the role of the victim. But we know that you are not like that. Therefore, you try with all your might to get rid of mental pain forever.
Don't make an icon out of your loss. If you are faced with such a terrible situation as the death of a loved one, survive it with dignity. In order not to return to the past every time, give away all the things of the deceased, leaving something for yourself as a keepsake. There is no need to leave the room in the same condition as it was “with him/her.” This will make you suffer even more.
If you broke up with your love, there is no need to leave all your photos together in the most visible place in the room. It takes you back to the worries and worries, to the days past life. If you truly want to get rid of heartache, get rid of this pedestal of victimhood immediately.
Mental pain is common to everyone, because we are living people with our own feelings and emotions. If your soul hurts, it means you have it. Don't dwell on your shock, try to move forward into the future. Everything that does not kill us makes us stronger, remember this.
Video: how to overcome mental pain
