There are situations when it seems that the whole world has turned against you. Failures in personal life, problems at work, friends disappeared somewhere or were not there at all... How can you not start to think that this is a universal conspiracy, global injustice, evil intent or punishment?

WHO ARE THE OUTcasts?

In any team there is always a group of leaders to whom everyone is drawn, communication with whom is considered an honor and a privilege. The outcasts are theirs complete opposite. They don’t like people like that, they don’t want to communicate with them, they try to humiliate them and hurt them. Moreover, many do this not so much out of personal hostility, but out of obedience to the herd feeling. Main problem outcasts of all times and peoples is that the longer this label hangs on a person, the more difficult it is for him to get rid of it. Therefore, having realized once (or several times) that the team is shunning you, it is better to immediately take measures to get rid of this very burdensome stigma. We will find out exactly how during the conversation.

For what kind of “merits” can a child be “signed up” to the ranks of outcasts? Often due to some physical imperfections (squint, stuttering, overweight, lameness...) Alas, children can be cruel sometimes...

But here we should immediately make a reservation that this only happens if the child himself feels defective, if he is very worried about one thing or another. You can help compensate for a physical disability by identifying some advantages. A child simply cannot help but have them. These are the ones parents should always focus on. Simply put, a first-grader weighing 60 kilograms is unlikely to become an object of ridicule if he is friendly (shares a pen, treats him to candy, lets him cheat, downloads a game on his mobile phone), is witty (reacts accurately and with lightning speed to a phrase or a certain situation), and knows how to speak up for himself stand. But if from the very first day the fat kid crams into the last desk and answers the teacher inappropriately, and during breaks he eats sandwiches in the corner alone and silently puffs in response to some caustic remark, then his chance of becoming an outcast increases significantly.

Of course, appearance plays an important role in the popularity rating, but not the main one. Children who are well-liked by their peers usually have more friends, are more energetic, sociable, open and kind than those who are rejected. Popularity is also influenced by academic success, sporting achievements, and neat appearance.

The fate of outcasts can befall not only the isolated or underachieving. They don’t like “upstarts” - those who always try to seize the initiative, give orders, tell lies, or those who go against the class, for example, refuse to run away from class. There is even some portrait gallery“outcasts” - types of rejected children who fall under regular ridicule and attacks from their peers.

Unpopular

Quiet people who do not know how to initiate communication, gray mice who do not know how to attract the attention of classmates - no one rushes joyfully to such a child after the holidays, no one notices his absence in the class. They may not even say hello to him. It's not bullying, but it hurts just as much.

Embittered

Those who, having failed to establish contact with classmates, begin to behave as if they are taking revenge on others for their failures.

"Jester" or "scapegoat"

The category of children who try to attract attention at any cost. They may shout out various jokes in class, deliberately drop something, fall, put something on backwards... Often, such children are subsequently blamed for all the failures of the class, and other people's tricks are blamed on them.

"Stuck"

The one who constantly imposes himself on others, wedges himself into a conversation, tries to hug...

"Favorite"

Typically, children do not like peers who are singled out by a teacher or educator. Especially if they cannot understand why the “favorite” is better than them.

In high school, social outcasts sometimes appear (they often come from another school) - children who are not like the rest, who do not fit into generally accepted canons, people who are “on their own.” They don’t care about anyone, they have their own social circle, their own interests. Their opinions, actions, train of thoughts do not depend on anyone. They may or may not feel like outcasts due to the fact that this society is, in principle, of little interest to them; they are there due to circumstances and by and large they don't care what he thinks. IN the latter case It is impossible to talk about some kind of psychological trauma inflicted by peers.

It’s another matter if a person suffers from loneliness and wants to be friends... Why are there so few people around who want to lend him a hand? The main problem of outcasts is the lack of ease, the inability to forgive, and getting stuck on little things. Even if such a person at some point, out of excess of feelings, is ready to give you his last shirt, then, most likely, he will soon become angry at his own frankness and close himself off again.

Where does this pathological desire to hide inside oneself all the time come from? In other words, where does the problem come from?

As a rule, the feeling of rejection originates in the family. Some families have an unwritten tradition of appointing a child as a scapegoat. Dad has problems at work - his irritation is taken out on his son. Mom and Dad don’t have a good relationship – again, it’s his fault (there’s always a formal reason for bashing).

It also happens that parents have some special expectations for the child - for example, they want him to be a boy, or for him to become a doctor or an outstanding athlete. And a girl is born, and she is absolutely indifferent to parental preferences... Mom (dad) cannot accept disappointment and demonstrate it to the child in every possible way. And in this case, fear settles in his soul that no one needs him as he is, self-respect and self-esteem drop to an extremely low level.

The child gets stuck in resentment, negative expectations, wariness, closedness or aggression. Such children (and subsequently adults) are very vulnerable and are too dependent on the love and recognition of others. Their early experience suggests that communicating with other people is very painful. Pain is what every outcast fears more than anything in the world. You will say that everyone is afraid of pain. Yes, they are afraid. But at the same time they become friends, and love, and are disappointed, and learn to survive betrayal. Outcasts have an exaggerated fear of pain, and often they feel it in situations that others would not pay attention to. As a result, outcasts can withdraw into isolation, avoiding any communication.

WHAT IS THE NATURE OF REJECTION?

Every drama requires a clear distribution of roles. In a bullying situation, there are always instigators (ringleaders), pursuers, and the victims themselves (sometimes outside observers also join). Usually one or two people in the class become the initiators of bullying. For some reason they didn’t like someone, and they begin to tease, bully, ridicule, demonstratively avoid, or not accept him. Most children see them as a strong personality, but in fact, in most cases, the ringleaders establish themselves at the expense of others, being very insecure.

According to Alfred Adler, “Often an inferiority complex is hidden behind a superiority complex that serves as compensation.” However, it happens that quite prosperous children also become instigators. They are so confident in their unsurpassed uniqueness that they consider themselves entitled to mock others and persecute peers who displease them in some way. This position is largely explained by the position of their parents, who believe that an objectionable person can and should be removed from the team. Very indicative in this regard is Zheleznyakov’s story “Just a Few Days” and the film “Scarecrow” based on it.

It happens that among classmates there are also defenders of the victim. Sometimes the appearance of a defender can radically change the situation (especially if there are several defenders or their opinions are taken into account in the class) - most of the pursuers leave the outcast alone, the conflict comes to naught at the very beginning.

Sometimes the defender of an outcast becomes an outcast himself. For example, when, obeying the will of the teacher, a child is forced to sit at the same desk with an outcast, he can gradually become an object of ridicule, unless he begins to actively take part in bullying his desk neighbor.

HOW TO UNDERSTAND THAT A CHILD HAS BECOME AN OBJECT OF BULLYING?

Unlike adults, children very openly express their attitude towards those they do not like. I don't like people for one simple reason - they are different.

If your son or daughter is reluctant to go to kindergarten or school, does not talk about their time there, if they return depressed, if they have few friends in class (or none at all) - all this should be immediately taken into account and you should rush to help. A failed relationship with a team (or a specific member of it) can provoke a psychosomatic illness. In order not to face a psycho-emotional problem, the body prefers to “get sick and stay home” in time. This, by the way, is also a signal for parents. If, out of the blue, a child develops cold symptoms, or a headache or stomach ache begins, and this happens systematically, you should talk to him about relationships in the class.

WHAT IS THE RISK OF BULLYING?

Man is a social being, and how he learns to create connections will greatly determine his later life, and often such an important factor as success. The fear of communication lives in outcasts, and it is felt. And yet we must get out, search normal people and be able to forgive those who humiliated and caused pain.

But the sad consequences of bullying can appear much faster. And result in the desperate actions of the child victim. For example, theft. The rejected person can steal money from home (or somewhere else), buy candy with it and give it to other children, in order to buy their love, friendship, good attitude.

The child may begin to lie. Not finding in real world that can increase its value, an unpopular child or children with some kind of developmental disabilities come up with something that can make a favorable impression on others. They brag about non-existent relatives who have something that is considered prestigious in a given company. This could be, for example, an uncle who is a banker, a unique retro car standing in dad’s garage, a Madonna dress that mom bought at an auction in America, which she doesn’t allow anyone to show. Fantasy is fantasy, but, as a rule, children still expose lies, and this does not add popularity to the liar.

Well, that's the most terrible consequence bullying: regular bullying can provoke a suicide attempt or attempt on the life of one of the persecutors.

HOW TO HELP?

Is it possible to turn the situation around? Can. Most people have sufficient resilience. Each of us from time to time encounters someone’s hostility; everyone has to defend themselves in conflicts. This is how we get to know ourselves and others, learn to be friends, and protect our interests. It is more difficult for those whom we classify as outcasts: their ability to adapt is reduced due to constant stress. Outcast children, especially at a younger age, definitely need the help of an adult who can see little man his best features, hidden talents, abilities, will believe in him. This could be a parent, relative, psychologist, teacher, coach. But he must be found, because it is very, very difficult to get out of such a situation on your own.

Don't underestimate the importance of children's popularity. This is often one of the determining factors in how well a child does at school and how happy they are there. Social development is the cradle of intellectual development. Children who don't have friends at school are unlikely to enjoy going there.

If your child complains about being teased, you can give him a few useful tips:

Don't react at all(ignore, ignore).

This is quite difficult to do, but the method is effective. For example: “Owl, Owl!” - a classmate calls. Do not respond until addressed by name, pretend that you do not understand who they are addressing. Say: “I’m used to being called Sasha. I didn’t understand that you were addressing me.”

React unconventionally.

The one who calls names expects to receive a certain reaction from the victim (offense, anger, etc.). Therefore, the victim’s unusual behavior can confuse him. In response to the same “Owl! Owl!" you can answer something like this: “Yes, my mother also thinks that I am somewhat like an owl, I see better than anyone else at night, and I like to sleep in the morning.” Or you can not get annoyed (as usual), but answer in a friendly manner: “Yes, I am a 10th generation Owl! That’s how they teased my great-grandfather and his great-great-grandfather.”

By the way, parents can talk to their child at home about how often children in a group call each other names, distorting their surnames, remember how they used to call them names, try together to make up a nickname from their own (or someone else’s) surname, and determine who will come up with a more original one . Then the child will not react so painfully to the nicknames of his peers.

Explain yourself.

Those. calmly say to the name-calling peer: “I’m very offended to hear this,” “Why do you want to offend me?”

No, let yourself be manipulated.

Children often use name-calling to try to force their peers to do something. Everyone knows the trick of “taking the weak”. In front of everyone, the child is told that he does not do something because he is a coward, a weakling, etc. The child is left with a downright unenviable choice: either do what they demand (often breaking some rules or putting themselves in danger), or remain in the eyes of others as a coward.

The best option is to take your time. Weigh the pros and cons of each specific situation and understand what is more important: to prove something to others or to maintain self-respect.

Make excuses.

Sometimes such a seemingly primitive technique as an excuse turns out to be very effective. It is clear that it is designed for children younger age. The trick is that last word in this case remains with the victim.

Here are some examples of excuses:

“Those who call you names call themselves that!”

Fat trust!

Nice to meet you, my name is Petya.

“A crocodile walked along, swallowed your word, but left mine!”

The tone should be kept calm and friendly, trying to reduce the conversation to a joke.

If the rejection situation arose before adolescence, then parents can talk to an adult (teacher, educator) who has authority in children's team. Ask him to pay more attention to your child in front of others, give instructions, and don’t forget to praise (for the job!). If such a problem has arisen with a teenager, then parents should always remain on his side, often remind him of his merits, and increase self-esteem by assigning some tasks.

There is no point in running away and immediately taking revenge on the child’s offenders. It is important that the son (daughter) understand that the family is their home, their fortress, there is always light and warmth there, but they must still learn to stand up for themselves.

When talking about outcasts and bullying, the question always arises: why are some children sociable and brave, while others are shy, timid, and indecisive? Because nature created each person unique and each child from birth has his own characteristics, his own strengths and weaknesses, which can compensate each other. In addition to natural temperament on the formation increased anxiety and a child’s shyness is influenced by a number of factors, mainly events and relationships in the family.

To solve the problem of children's “stuffiness”, you should adhere to several rules:

1. The main thing is to love and support the child for who he is. Try to understand his feelings, the reasons for his actions. Separate the child's personality and his actions. Each of us sometimes may not be up to par, but this does not make us “weak”, “inept”, “stupid”. Such labels reduce the self-esteem of any person, undermine his faith in own strength. The child should feel accepted and valued regardless of his or her success.

2 . Do not compare your child with other children, emphasize his merits and successes.

3 . Don't rush your child. A shy, timid child needs certain time to get acquainted, take a closer look, understand the laws that apply in new situation, be it a group of peers, a new teacher, new apartment. Only by making sure that nothing threatens him there will he be able to more easily adapt to new conditions.

4. Don't ignore your child's fears. Saying “there’s nothing wrong with this” is pointless. You need to make your child feel safe. And what better drives away fear than mother’s affection, mother’s closeness?

5 . It is not wise to yell at children or in front of children. Screaming is a sign of helplessness.

6 . If an adult addresses an anxious child, he must establish eye contact: this instills trust in the child’s soul.

7 . Try to create situations for your child where he can demonstrate his talents and virtues in order to gain self-confidence and earn the respect of his peers. For example, you can organize parties at home and invite classmates to them. In a comfortable environment shy child will feel more confident, and this will give him the opportunity to change the opinion of his friends about him.

8 . Strive for your child's development. The more he knows and can do, the more confident he will feel.

ADULT OUTcasts

If we are talking about adults who are faced with the problem of rejection by the collective, then the first thing to do is to realize why society does not accept you. If possible, try to independently change the very boundaries into which the outcast does not fit, and declare your right to individuality.

Another option is to understand those around you: their values, motives, incentives, moral and ethical principles. And try to change your behavior so that it does not contradict generally accepted norms in the team.

If the fear of being ridiculed or rejected has become a serious obstacle to getting out of loneliness, you can analyze what you are afraid of and imagine the most catastrophic scenario for the development of relationships, and then evaluate its realism. Well, you can also change jobs, continuing to search for that environment that will actually be very comfortable, and then the problem will be solved by itself.

There are several practical advice, which will most likely help to avoid the sad fate of being rejected by society.

So:

Learn to understand yourself and those around you – feelings, motivations, motivations;

Learn to adequately express your thoughts, desires, and feelings. Remember that constant concessions and irresponsibility, as well as aggression, are equally destructive for relationships;

Work on your self-confidence. It will definitely pay off;

Learn the “sympathy technique”: Watch your appearance, gestures, timbre of voice - most often those around us receive information about us from these sources. Call your interlocutor by name, be friendly;

Master the art of engaging conversation and complimenting.

And most importantly, don’t lose hope.

WITH family psychologist Olga Shcherbakova talked to Tatiana Potemkina

Psychological traumas of childhood

The goal of any psychotherapy is to help you let go of the past, good or bad, and let go of the good or bad future, in order to simply be. To be means to develop your uniqueness, your ability to be alive, to be all that you are, here and now. (With)
/Carl Whitaker/

Today we will talk about psychological trauma, sometimes in everyday psychology, the consequences of these injuries are called “psychological complexes.”

And first of all, we will talk about childhood psychological trauma and the impact they have on later adult life.

Psychological trauma is a reactive mental formation (reaction to significant this person events) causing long-term emotional experiences and having a lasting psychological impact.

Causes of psychological trauma

The cause of injury can be any significant event for a person, and there are a huge number of sources:
Family conflicts.
1. Serious illnesses, death, death of family members.
2. Parents' divorce.
3. Overprotection from elders.
4. Coldness of intra-family relationships and alienation.
5. Material and living conditions.

Does a person know about his psychological traumas? Knowledge alone is not enough. People ask for psychological help regarding their negative experiences or unconstructive ways of behavior, but don't tie theirs current state with psychological trauma, especially for children.

In most cases, the traumatic effect is of an implicit, hidden nature.

We are talking, as a rule, about the inability of the immediate environment, especially the mother, to provide an atmosphere of trust and emotional security for the child. A traumatic situation may be hidden behind an apparently quite prosperous situation. home environment, in particular, for situation of overprotection and overprotection when no one even suspects that very important sensory and behavioral components are missing in the relationship between parents and children.

Significant parental figures often suffer themselves various forms personality disorders, constant conflicts in the family, tense relationships, signs of home and psychological violence interfere with full emotional interaction in the family and, as a result, normal mental development offspring.

Life scenarios

And the famous psychologist Eric Berne proposed the idea of "life scenarios" , which dictate our actions and our behavior in general.

It's unconscious life plan, which we borrowed from our parents, and which gives us the illusion of control over the situation and life.

Usually to 7 years old this scenario has already been laid out, and in further man builds his life largely due to the influence of this unconscious script. Deciding your life problems, a person is forced to solve the problems of his parents, his grandparents. You need to understand that this is not a detailed exact copy of the generic script, but general direction And permanent job over the mistakes of your own and your ancestors.

This situation is aggravated in childhood by directive messages from parents to their child when the parents are out good intentions“They instill in their child guidelines on how to live.

Directive- this is a hidden order, implicitly formulated in the words or actions of the parent, for failure to comply with which the child will be punished.

Not explicitly (with a spanking or a slap on the head, silent blackmail or abuse), but indirectly - own feeling guilt towards the parent who gave this directive. Moreover real reasons The child cannot realize his guilt without outside help. After all, it is fulfilling directives, he feels “good and correct”.

Negative attitudes (directives)

The prime directive, in which all the others could be included, is:
“Don't be yourself” . A person with this directive is constantly dissatisfied with himself. Such people live in a state of painful internal conflict. The rest of the directives below explain this. Here brief examples such directives (there are dozens of them and each of them can be analyzed in great detail):
"Don't live". How many problems you brought to us when you were born.
“Don't trust yourself” . We know better what you need in this life.
“Don't be a child”. Be serious, don't be happy. And a person, having become an adult, cannot learn to fully rest and relax, because he feels guilty for his “childish” desires and needs. In addition, such a person has a strict barrier in communicating with children.
"Don't feel". This message can be conveyed by parents who themselves are accustomed to restraining their feelings. The child learns not to “hear” signals from his body and soul about possible troubles.
“Be the best”. Otherwise you won't be able to be happy. And since it is impossible to be the best in everything, this child will never see happiness in life.
“You can’t trust anyone, just trust me!” . The child learns that the world around us is hostile and only the cunning and treacherous survive in it.
“Don't do it!” . As a result, the child is afraid to make any decisions on his own. Not knowing what is safe, he experiences difficulties, doubts and excessive fears at the beginning of each new business.

But how much influence do psychological traumas have on today's life?

I will just give two examples that are confirmed by scientific research, although there is much more research. The World Health Organization conducted a study of people who had any childhood psychological trauma. It turned out that it is much more difficult for such people to make a career than those who did not have strong emotional upheavals in childhood.

It turns out that mental disorders in childhood lead to slowdown in human social development– it becomes more difficult for him to make friends, adapt to new groups and get along with people. According to Dr. Norito Kawakami of the University of Tokyo, who led scientific group, which conducted the study, scientists found a clear relationship between childhood depression, lack of attention, experiences of physical or mental abuse and low levels of income in adulthood.

The results of the experiment are valid for both men and women. The study surveyed nearly 40,000 people from 22 countries, aged 18 to 64 years. Scientists collected information on income levels, social status, education of each respondent, and at the same time clarified data on the condition mental health respondents starting from birth. Indeed, childhood sorrows give rise to the desire to withdraw, to isolate oneself from the world, and in most cases it is impossible to make a successful career in seclusion...

Another study was conducted by specialists from the BioMed Central health center and published in the journal Substance Abuse Treatment, Prevention, and Policy. Thus, a study led by Dr. Tara Strine showed that adverse childhood events - emotional, physical or sexual trauma - can cause development of nicotine addiction. And in this case, treatment of cigarette addiction must begin with the treatment of childhood trauma.

More than 7,000 people took part in the study, approximately 50% of whom were women. Taking into account previously identified risk factors such as parental alcohol use and smoking, physical and emotional trauma occurring in childhood reliably ranked first in the risk group. However, a similar picture was observed only in the female sample. So women who have a history of traumatic childhood events, 1.4 times more often are subject to this addiction. In men, researchers believe there is a wider range of protective and compensatory mechanisms that have yet to be studied. The results of the study show that the mechanism provoking association between childhood trauma in women and tobacco cravings, is psychological stress. The risk is especially high for those who have experienced emotional or physical abuse.

What to do with childhood psychological trauma?

We all come from childhood, so we carry within us large number painful experiences and unconscious wounds that will in every possible way hinder healthy harmonious development person's personality.

These experiences can be very different and accompanied by various feelings: guilt, shame, anxiety, fear, inferiority, loss, mistrust, the meaninglessness of one’s existence, etc. The feeling of pain “protects” from the awareness of these injuries, and a person sincerely considers this to be his character trait. Because awareness will lead to the need to review and re-evaluate too many things in your life. Here fear appears, which consciously and unconsciously prevents healing and blocks it. By force of will you cannot get rid of such fear, because the price for such an effort will be increased control and the loss of your vitality and life energy.

Many types of psychotherapies (including Gestalt therapy) are aimed at ensuring that a person develops his spontaneous ability to live, overcomes barriers and stereotypes laid down in the past.

Characteristic psychological feature Slavic mentality is that our people endure “until the last.” No matter what happens, we will “courageously” endure, endure, and keep it to ourselves until the end. N. Tikhonov wrote about such people: “We should make nails out of these people! There would be no stronger nails in the world”!!!

At an appointment with a psychologist or psychological group You can meet young women, broken by their psychological traumas, with pale faces, empty eyes and drooping shoulders. Some of them look completely lifeless, crushed, drained of blood. Others, on the contrary, are so restless and neurotically excited that they are unable to concentrate on the current state. But they all remember themselves as different, not similar to the present one, and do not understand how they became like this.

Learn to take care of yourself

Internal psychological comfort is one of the defining concepts today modern life. Turns out " You need to take care of yourself not only outside, but also inside. And achievements modern psychology they allow you to do this quite easily and quickly (this is what we were deprived of until the 90s of the 20th century).

Unfortunately, many people in our country treat this with misunderstanding and distrust, preferring to patiently suffer and suffer, believing that everything will go away on its own, thinking that only “crazy people” go to psychologists, psychotherapists and psychoanalysts for treatment. But today modern psychologists turn to smart people who experience a certain personal psychological problems.

From today with the help good specialist you can completely free your inner world from unwanted, painful consequences:
– any emotional and mental trauma,
– any traumatic situation that has occurred in life (regardless of the statute of limitations),
– any severe or acute psycho-emotional experiences or memories,
– any emotional shock.

Contact me for help, I will be glad to help you!

Comment on "Childhood psychological trauma"

Every children's group has its outcasts. They are not invited to parties, do not play with them during recess, and are not given a shovel in the sandbox. Their psychological problems outcast child, often remain for life.

There is a certain stereotype: children who are unpopular in the class, who always endure the ridicule of others, study well, raise their hands to answer any question from the teacher and receive their legitimate “A’s.” In reality, everything is exactly the opposite. Research by Eric S. Buhs has shown that children between the ages of 5 and 11 who are rejected by their peers experience educational tests more low scores compared to classmates. Ostracism is present in all children's groups, even in junior groups kindergarten. According to the observations of psychologists, both boys and girls are equally susceptible to it. At the same time, outcast children often develop psychological trauma and decline in academic performance. Professor Bachs discovered that children rejected by the collective in kindergarten, are ostracized at school as well. Their performance in subjects such as reading and arithmetic leaves much to be desired.

Dr. Tad Feinberg, Chairman of the National Association school psychologists(USA), says he is surprised and concerned by the results of Professor Bachs' research. “Most of the research on ostracism has been conducted in high school", he says, "since it was believed that younger children, due to their plasticity, nervous system ostracism does not lead to significant psychological trauma." Now, Dr. Feinberg is writing recommendations for parents of young children. Here's what, in his opinion, adults should be wary of:

- the child is reluctant to go to school and is very happy about any opportunity not to go there;
- returns from school depressed;
- often cries without obvious reason;
- never mentions any of his classmates;
- talks very little about his school life;
- lonely: no one invites him to visit, to birthday parties, and he doesn’t want to invite anyone to his place.
What to do if a child is rejected? The first thing parents should do in such cases, says Dr. Feinberg, is to take a deep breath and calm down. You shouldn’t look for and punish the child’s offenders yourself, but you shouldn’t passively wait for the situation to resolve itself. It’s better to think about why exactly your child became an “outcast”?

Research conducted by psychologist Rosalind Weissman shows that bullying is primarily caused by the provoking behavior of the victim. Most often, children with bad social skills or suffering from any physical handicap- “not-like-everyone else.” The second reason that most often leads to isolation is the child’s aggressiveness.

Psychologists believe that it is relatively simple to help - socialization training and/or reducing the level of aggression. Therefore, before the situation goes too far, says Dr. Feinberg, parents of children who are rejected by the group should contact a school psychologist.

Irina Pavlenko
(c) http://www.psihologyhelp.ucoz.ru/

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Akhmet beat his chest and theatrically shouted: “I want to sit down!!!” For an unshaven forty-year-old man, overgrown with curly red hair along his eyebrows, dressed in an old untucked encephalitis suit and huge waders, these exclamations and the delight in his words on his face evoked a feeling of tragicomic. And although I knew that if there was a person or organization that needed such a sacrifice, Vitek would show himself at his best, but still I assumed a small thing that he would not want to allow others...

Psychological emotional trauma can manifest itself in the body in different ways. Many bodily diseases accompany it.

Trauma causes not only mental, but also physical damage. For example, if a woman was beaten and strangled during rape, her body retains the memory of this.

The mental wound splits off and becomes physical. From the consciously perceived memory of the trauma, all that remains is pain, a symptom without a medical basis. For example, tightness in the chest, because it was impossible to mourn the loss of a loved one.

Traumatic experiences provoke unresolved emotional conflict, absorbs a lot vitality and prevents harmonious interaction body, spirit and soul. Thus, trauma increases the risk that human will happen an accident or a chronic somatic disease develops (asthma, neurodermatitis or cancer). It happens that sexual abuse leads to breast cancer.

Body, spirit and soul - autonomous systems functions. Anyone who is physically ill does not automatically suffer from mental illness, and vice versa. And a heavy mental burden does not necessarily affect intellectual abilities person. Also tall, or low level intelligence does not say anything about mental health. However, all these systems of functions are coordinated in human body. Therefore, depressive feelings can negatively affect the body's metabolism. The hypothalamus is an important regulator of sensation in humans; through the hormonal system it affects the feeling of hunger or thirst. Immune system also interacts and exchanges information with the hormonal system and can crack when under constant stress. Therefore, physical symptoms often express mental imbalance. These kinds of symptoms will disappear only if the mental blockade is removed.

Much evidence suggests that man as a product long process evolution is a system consisting of many subsystems. Subsystems are chasing them own goals and obey their own laws. However, they are integrated into the overall whole. Each subsystem must operate autonomously to perform its functions. At the same time, it must coordinate with other subsystems so as not to harm whole system by its predominance or isolation.

On physiological level There are qualitative differences between stressogenic and traumatogenic reactions. Both are defense mechanisms. But while stress is energizing, trauma is paralyzing. Stress causes alertness (excites), and trauma stuns (painful). Defense mechanism trauma comes into play after a stress response. It is the last resort when nothing else helps.

Sensible medical and physical treatments can benefit and support the healing process. However body therapy and medical measures will not bear fruit if the connection between physical illness and injury is not established or if these cause-and-effect relationships are consciously or unconsciously overlooked.

Social aspects of trauma

Concept emotional trauma is not limited to the consideration of biological or mental phenomena. Trauma always occurs in some social context. In addition to the main victims, there are many other people who, although they themselves were not mentally traumatized, are forced to suffer the consequences of trauma. You can imagine what happens to the whole family when a traumatized soldier returns home from war. Traumatized war veterans have a high suicide rate on average. In this case, suicide can be unconsciously staged and look like an accident. In their case, there is another danger: in a fit of aggression, they can take others with them to the next world. Thus, they punish innocent people for what was once done to them.

Because in family system constellations the period of time up to a hundred years ago is taken into account in the destinies individuals and families rush by historical events, which traumatized the entire country as a whole. So, say, in the destinies of individuals and families, dispossession and events find an echo civil war, repression (when entire families lost everything - home, money, each other, prospects, social status).

An overly individualized concept of trauma will not help to understand the symptoms of severe psychological states. After all, we often deal with trauma not in its direct meaning, for example, when a person did not have serious injuries in his own biography. Often a person suffering now panic attacks, depression, etc., appears to be “drawn” into a traumatic life experience parents or even the previous generation of your family.

After all, from the point of view of “ common sense“Time must heal wounds, of course, if the victim wants to be healed. Practically no one knows that if the victim is not immediately provided with appropriate assistance, if he is not helped to avoid becoming a social outcast, the trauma will penetrate deeper and deeper into his psyche.

It is difficult for others to accept the fact that a person cannot cope with trauma and its symptoms without special therapy, no matter how hard he tries. After some time, they are no longer able to bear the suffering of the victim, avoid him, demand that he no longer talk about his misfortune, or shame him for his inability to cope with the trauma.

Passing on traumatic experiences from generation to generation

The effects of injury are not limited to the person directly affected. Trauma affects the social environment, society, families, partners, friendships and social systems relationships. But that's not all. The effects of trauma continue even when the people who suffered it have already died. And 10, 20, 50 or even 100 years after the traumatic event, it can have an impact on the souls of people living today. How does this happen?

Children who bear the imprint of parental trauma pass it on to their children in the same way - through the mental and emotional connection between parents and child.

As incredible as it may seem, this is not the end. Even great-grandchildren may become emotional participants in the specific situation of great-grandparents' trauma through attachments.

Based on the book “Trauma and Family Constellations” by Franz Ruppert