18 minutes how to increase your concentration and stop getting distracted. Carrot or stick? Let's take a break and understand ourselves

Peter Bregman is a writer and consultant in the field. personal development. On own experience, through trial and error he developed his system. How to plan it correctly, what priorities to focus on and what to discard, where to get motivation and whether it is always needed - read in summary books "18 minutes".

Let's take a break and understand ourselves

To manage something, you need to understand how it works. You need to see the system as a whole, as it is in reality. This is true both over time and with. You need to understand yourself and the world around you. Let's pause to complete this point.

Overcome Inertia

We often do aimless or even harmful actions simply because we have gone too far and cannot stop. We do not admit our mistakes because we have become accustomed to them. Of course, this takes us away from reality. Inertia can be overcome in two ways:

Slow down - for example, in an argument with someone you felt that you were wrong. You don't have to switch sides right away. Slow down. Listen more, ask for more details.
Start over. What to do if an investment does not produce profit? Many people continue to hope for a miracle. But would you buy such an asset now, when there is already information about its uselessness? Most likely not. So sell it and spend the money on something new. Give up useless and pointless projects and start new ones.

Express yourself more widely

Today, people often associate themselves exclusively with their work. In just 1 year, from 2007 to 2008, the number of suicides associated with professional activity, increased by almost a third. People who lose their jobs lose the meaning of their lives. You don't have to develop only as a professional. You are also a loving spouse or parent, friend, lover active recreation or playing bridge, a member of a religious community or voluntary society. Do not deny or put aside your hypostases. Integrate them into your life.

Focus on the desired outcome, not your reactions.

We usually proceed according to the following scheme: event – reaction – result.

The client somehow touches us. We react sharply to this. As a result, we lose him. In other words, we act based on the past. Of course, this is not the smartest strategy. Acquiring a new client is much more important than venting pent-up irritation. React to events based on the desired outcome, not your feelings: event – result – reaction.

Determining priorities

How do you know what to spend your time on? Peter Bregman believes that you can be most successful in those areas where 4 elements are most successfully combined: strengths, weaknesses, individual characteristics and addictions.

Make the most of your strengths

David was not as strong and big as Goliath. But he was fast, agile and accurate. He took off his armor before the fight so that nothing would hinder his movement. Historians have noticed that those states that won wars against opponents ten times superior to them simply played by their own rules. Find those areas in which you are strong and focus on them.

Accept your weaknesses

Fighting your weaknesses requires a lot of energy, but rarely brings significant results. Many great people achieved their success not only through their talents, but also through their weaknesses. Uncertainty pushes people to achieve accomplishments. Uncompromising and unyielding allows you to achieve simplicity. Stinginess - helps manage finances. Yes, these are disadvantages. But it is up to you to turn them into advantages.

Express your individual characteristics

IN modern world not as much personality as it might seem at first glance. We wear the same clothes, watch the same movies, spend our leisure time enjoying the same entertainment, and use the same methods to promote our business. All this incredibly increases the competitiveness of the environment. And you can win in it only by standing out from the crowd. Find the brightest and most individual aspects of yourself and make them cornerstones of your life.

Do what you like

Large companies spend huge amounts of money to hire the best workers. They are trying to develop methods that would allow them to potentially isolate successful people. They bring in recruiters to conduct hours-long interviews. Meanwhile, there is a much simpler way to learn about a person’s potential and abilities. Just ask what he does in free time. What you give yourself to with all your passion has internal motivation. And you will definitely be successful in such a field. When making your plan, pay more attention to your “wants.”

Avoiding pitfalls

On the way to achieving your goals, insidious traps will await you, in which it is very easy to get stuck without understanding anything. Here are some ways to avoid them:

Keep looking around. Don't take your plan as an absolute truth. A goal is a destination, but many paths lead to it. Don't get stuck on one.
Welcome failure. They are the ones who make you grow. Constantly raise the bar for yourself - and even if you complete only 50% of what you planned - this will already be growth.
Don't stop in the face of uncertainty. In one sect, people lived for years in unfinished houses only because their “prophet” predicted the end of the world every six months. Keep working, and time will sort everything out on its own.

Making a plan for the year

Well it's time concrete steps. Take a pen and paper and make a plan for the year, guided by the principles described above. Why year? A monthly plan cannot be called long-term, and life and even five years are too unpredictable matter.

How many items should be on your list? Peter Bregman came to the conclusion that there should be 5±2. From 3 to 7. Anything less is unlikely to satisfy you, and too much choice will prevent you from being productive. First allocate more general areas, in which you would like to develop. Here's what it looks like for Peter:

Job:

work better with current clients;
attract new clients;
write and talk about your ideas.

Personal:

spend more time with loved ones and friends;
have fun and take care of yourself.

Your list may look different depending on your personal priorities.

Then you can expand it by specifying more for each area. specific goals. Allocate 95% of your time to all this. You can spend the remaining 5% on anything - from washing your car to reading reviews of a new smartphone.

But that's not all. In addition to what can be included in your life, there are things that need to be excluded from it. You will have to sacrifice something to achieve more success in selected areas. Be sure to write this down in your plan.

How to live your days

If within a year we should approach the implementation strategic objectives, then this can only be done in one way: to move systematically every day, taking one milestone after another. For this you need a plan. And unlike the annual one, it should be as clear as possible. Only then will we be sure to take the time to real action, and not building castles in the air.

Making a to-do list for the day

In the past, we were guided by abilities, desires, and needs to make a plan for the year. We will now develop our daily to-do list by checking our strategic priorities. Categorize your tasks to make sure you're actually moving forward. in the right direction. Try to maintain balance so that one area does not overpower the rest.

Same as with annual plan, make another section in it - what you will NOT do. To focus, you need to eliminate all distractions.

Where and when will you do it

Two groups of women were given breast examinations. One group was asked to do this within a month, the second was asked to decide for themselves exactly where and when they would do it. In the first, only 53% of women completed the task, in the second - 100%. Subsequently, much work was done similar experiments and they all gave similar results. So you don't just have to decide What you will do. Decide on Where And When it will happen.

Organize reminders for yourself

To be productive, it's more than just making a plan. We need to follow him. One way to monitor adherence to your own strategy is to set yourself reminders. For example, set an alarm for every hour. When you hear it, stop for a moment and ask yourself how effective the previous hour was. And decide how you will live the next 60 minutes.

Make time for feedback

Our body is amazing efficient system. The thing is that the brain constantly receives feedback from other bodies – and regulates their activities in accordance with this. Take a few minutes in the evening to reflect on your day. What have you achieved? What new things have you learned? What can you do tomorrow to improve your performance? And one more important question: Who did I interact with today? Do I need to thank someone, ask questions, tell someone the news? If so, send a few texts before bed. This is a small but very important contribution to the development of relationships.

18-Minute Day Planner

How to learn to carry out planned actions day after day? We'll need more than just a minute-by-minute schedule. We will use the ritual - simple action, which will need to be performed daily, regardless of the circumstances. It takes three steps, which you can complete in just 18 minutes:

1 step (5 minutes, morning)– make a plan for the day, write down the place and time of each action;
Step 2 (1 minute every hour)– Set an alarm for every hour so you can re-concentrate;
Step 3 (5 min, evening)– time to evaluate your results and thank other people.

Now you will always be in control of your life and know exactly what you are spending your time on.

The main thing is now

We talked about how to understand yourself, what to focus on in next year and how to properly plan your day to achieve your goals. It's time to figure out how to live every single minute correctly. Where to get motivation and how to do without it.

Create the right environment

If you take a larger plate, you will eat more. If a teenager lives within walking distance of a liquor store, the likelihood that he will drink and drive drunk increases. Outer world affects us more than we think and want. But there is also good news. It is much easier to change your environment than to change yourself. Your task is to make it such that it will be easier to complete than to refuse.

Find your weak points

In fact, we don't need as much motivation as we think. If you force yourself to get up and get dressed, consider that your run has already been a success - you are unlikely to return to bed. But it is during the process of getting up and getting dressed that you are most vulnerable. It's yours weak point. You will need maximum motivation to fight it. Find such moments in your activities and focus on overcoming them.

Carrot or stick?

First the stick, then the carrot. Fear and pleasure are good motivators. But the order matters. Fear helps you take the first step, and pleasure reinforces further actions.

Resume

Before you change your life, decide what's wrong with yours. current situation. Overcome inertia and don't be afraid to express yourself. Decide on your top priorities and make a plan for the year. Guide your strategy in building your daily schedule. Organize your day with the 18 Minutes ritual. Change your environment to make it work for you. Find your weaknesses and use your willpower to overcome them.

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet or corporate networks, for private or public use without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Legal support for the publishing house is provided by the Vegas-Lex law firm.

To my wife Elinor and children Isabel,

Sofia and Daniel.

You are my inspiration.

Introduction

Molly received new job– Headed the training and development department in a medium-sized investment bank. On the first day, she turned on the computer, entered her password, opened her email program and gasped.

She worked for less than a minute and already received 385 messages. It will take more than one day to understand them. And by then hundreds of new ones will have accumulated.

We start work in the morning, knowing that we won’t have time to do everything we planned. And we look back at the past years, asking ourselves: where did they go and why did our dreams not come true?

Time is the only thing that cannot be returned. Lost money? You will earn more. Lost a friend? We can make peace. Lost your job? Find another one. Over time, this number will not pass.

My friend, Rabbi Chaim Angel, always takes something to read when he goes to a meeting. Why? “Because,” he told me, “according to the Talmud (the code of Jewish laws), someone who is late for a meeting commits the sin of theft - stealing another person’s time. And this is the most serious theft, because time cannot be returned. I don’t want anyone to sin because of me, so in case I have to wait, I take care that the other person does not end up in the role of a thief.”

And yet we constantly steal time from ourselves. Here are three stories on the topic.

Bill had no doubt about going to the meeting when the secretary put him on the list. But it turned out to be boring, and now, sitting in the conference room, Bill regretted that he had not refused. He pulled out his smartphone and started by email. Suddenly he heard his name. The boss Letitia addressed him. He looked up, and she continued: “What do you think we should do?” Bill didn't understand what he was talking about. Where did the moment go?

Rajit sat down at his laptop on Wednesday morning at nine o'clock. He just wanted to write a proposal for a client, which had to be sent in two days. But after three calls, fifteen emails, two trips to the toilet, half an hour of buying airline tickets for family vacation and four spontaneous conversations with colleagues, he received a message from his assistant: in fifteen minutes he would have a business lunch. Where did the day go?

Marie came to her twenty-fifth high school reunion, and I immediately remembered her when I was seventeen. We got to talking, and it turned out that she had not changed a bit since that time: she remained beautiful, smart, talented, brave and honest. With one exception. The spark went out. “I can’t call myself unhappy,” she said. – I love my husband and children, I have quite normal operation. And in general, quite normal life. That's all. I didn't really do anything. Every year I make plans, but something always gets in the way.” Marie feels her unrealized potential. She wants to do something. But for some reason it doesn't work. Where have all these years gone?

According to Newton's first law, a body continues to move with constant speed until it doesn't affect him external force. This law also applies to people. Either we continue to move along a trajectory that does not quite suit us, unable to turn, or we consciously choose the right one, but something does not allow us to stay on it. In order for us to look back with satisfaction on what we have accomplished—in a day, a year, or a second—we need to change the script. Stop moving by inertia, being distracted by routine and reacting instinctively. We need to manage own life.

But knowing is not enough - you have to act, and this is not easy. Marie's problem isn't that she doesn't like it family life. I really like it. And she wouldn't trade it for anything. It’s just that her family has overshadowed everything else in her life, and when she sums it up at the end of the year, she feels disappointed. And she doesn’t know what needs to be changed next year.

Rajith actually planned to write a proposal. But due to other matters, I deviated from the desired trajectory. Perhaps they were worthy of his attention, but in the end he never wrote a proposal.

And Bill, of course, was not going to dive headlong into email, and there was nothing important there. But he was completely focused on her, and at the moment when his opinion was really needed, he looked at the boss with an empty gaze.

I'll tell you how to solve these problems and avoid disappointment. I'll show you integrated approach to time management, which will allow you to focus on the main thing. This is an important first step in getting back to yourself.

In Part I, I'll show you how to set the stage for further actions. I'll talk about habits and thinking that help you see hidden opportunities. You will focus on the main thing, make daily plan, you will follow it and cope with distractions that negatively affect the result.

In Part II, I'll show you how to organize your life around what's important to you, what makes you happy, what helps you realize your talents, and gets you closer to your goals. I'll talk about four elements to focus on. We will see how people prevent themselves from focusing on priorities and how this can be avoided. In the last chapter of the part, I'll summarize and help you determine what you should focus on this year: the five areas where you'll spend the majority of your time.

In Part III, I'll teach you how to use your annual priorities to create an eighteen-minute plan for each day that will ensure that the most important things will be done. You will structure your time to achieve efficiency and fruitfulness, getting closer to completing the main tasks of the year.

In Part IV, you'll learn how to deal with distractions—sometimes by using them, sometimes by avoiding them. You will learn not to quit halfway, even if you want to forget about it, and to set boundaries correctly. The part includes three sections - “How to start”, “How to set boundaries” and “How to manage yourself”. There's a lot in it simple techniques, tips and rules that will help you not go astray.

Finally, I'll conclude by showing you how to get started in the right direction.

This book will help you make informed, thoughtful decisions about what you should and shouldn't do. You will find in it simple tools and techniques that will help you achieve your goal, focus on the main thing and not get wasted on trifles. And I will also teach you to enjoy the process. Managing your own life doesn't have to be a burden. And a book about life management too.

Recently, in my New York apartment, I opened the application Google Earth on iPhone. It gives access to satellite maps all over the world. First you see the Earth spinning in space, as if the phone screen were a porthole spaceship. Then you gradually approach the place where you are now. The picture becomes clearer as if you are landing. First you see the country, then the city - and finally the street.

Find Your Focus

Master Distraction, and Get

the Right Things Done

Hachette Book Group

Peter Bregman

How to increase concentration, stop being distracted and get things done that really matter

Translation from English by Taira Mamedova

Publishing house "Mann, Ivanov and Ferber" Moscow, 2014

UDC 331.103 BBK 65.242.1 B87

Published with permission from Andrew Nurnberg Literary Agency

Published in Russian for the first time

Bregman, P.

B87 18 minutes. How to increase your concentration, stop being distracted and get things done that really matter / Peter Bregman; lane from English Taira Mamedova. - M.: Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2014. - 272 p.

ISBN 978–5–91657–893-5

18 Minutes is an incredibly smart and endlessly practical guide, explaining how to make informed and thoughtful decisions, what to do and what not to do, how to deal with distractions - sometimes by using them, sometimes by avoiding them - how to structure your time to achieve peak performance, how to understand who you are and how to best use your abilities to achieve happiness, productivity and success. With its help, you will learn to create a plan for each day, ensuring that from now on all your most important things will be done.

UDC 331.103 BBK 65.242.1

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.

Legal support for the publishing house is provided by the Vegas-Lex law firm.

Introduction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

Part I. Pause. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

Soar above your world

Chapter 1. Slowing down the rotation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20

How to reduce the force of inertia

Chapter 2. The girl who stopped the Crocodile Man. . . .24

The amazing effect of a short pause

Chapter 3. The day Andy left work early. . . . . . . . . . .28

Stop to speed up

Chapter 4. Spring frostbite. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32

Reality, not expectations

Chapter 5. Split personality is not a disease. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .37

Take a broader look at yourself

Chapter 6. Why we were fascinated by Susan Boyle. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .42

Realize your potential

Chapter 7. You don't have to like him at all. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .46

Where do you want to be?

Part II. The main thing this year. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51

What to Focus on

Chapter 8. How to act when you don’t know what to do. . . . . . . .54

We determine the next move at the intersection of four elements

Chapter 9. Reconsider the rules of the game. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .59

Element One: Make the Most of Your Strengths

Chapter 10. Let there be shrimp. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .63

Element Two: Accept Your Weaknesses

Chapter 11. Heated places. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .66

The third element: declare your individual characteristics

Chapter 12. The pilot who saved 155 passengers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .70

The fourth element: do what you love

Chapter 13. Everyone can stand on their head. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74

The Fourth Element: Do What You Love (Perseverance)

Chapter 14. How to find a suitable job. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .78

The fourth element: do what you love (ease)

Chapter 15. What is important to you? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .84

The fourth element: do what you love (meaning)

Chapter 16. I am the kind of mother I need to be. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .88

We continue to look around

Chapter 17. I missed more than nine thousand times. . . . . . . . . . . . .92

We don't give up after defeat

Chapter 18. When the future is unclear. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .96

Avoiding stupor

Chapter 19. Perhaps. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .102

We don't judge rashly

Chapter 20. Important things this year. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .106

Choosing landmarks

Part III. The main thing for today. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .113

Do what's important

Chapter 21. Dude, what happened? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116

Planning ahead

Chapter 22. Bird by bird. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119

We decide what we will do

Chapter 23. Wrong floor. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .125

Deciding what to give up

Chapter 24. When is tomorrow? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .129

Using a diary

Chapter 25. Three-day rule. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .133

Removing things from the list

Chapter 26. Who are you? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .137

Signal Strength

Chapter 27. Amazing Finds those who are looking. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 142

Evening Minutes - Review and Training

Chapter 28. 18-minute plan for organizing the day. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .146

Create a daily ritual

Part IV. The main thing is now. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .151

Learning not to get distracted

Chapter 29. Move the table. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .155

No motivation needed

Chapter 30. Don't quit your diet by reading the dessert menu. . . . . . . . . .160

We need less motivation than we think

Chapter 31. Solution - Nintendo Wii. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .164

Let's have fun

Chapter 32. Double strike. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .169

How to start and continue

Chapter 33. I am the one who…. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .175

Let's talk true story about myself

Chapter 34. Wasps stung my mind. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .180

Vagaries of consciousness

Chapter 35. Collaboration How a waste time. . . . . . .187

Saying “yes” selectively

Chapter 36. But dad... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .190

The ability to say “no”

Chapter 37. The third time. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .195

Ability to talk at the right time

Chapter 38. We're not too late yet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .198

When you need more transition time

Chapter 39. I don’t want to go to class. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .202

When you need less transition time

Chapter 40. We will lose money. Let's forget you.

And we will replace you. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .206

Stress relaxation

Chapter 41. Does Obama wear beads? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .212

Let's distract ourselves productively

Chapter 42. Should you smoke weed while working? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 216

Stop switching

Chapter 43 Our skills are not that important. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .221

Fighting perfectionism

Chapter 44 Why doesn't this work for you? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .226

We do it halfway

Chapter 45. Don't play basketball on the football field. . . . . . . .232

Flexibility

Chapter 46. There are no ten rules. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .238

The only change

Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .244

To my wife Elinor and children Isabel,

Sofia and Daniel.

You are my inspiration.

Introduction

M Ollie* got a new job - she headed the training and advanced training department in an investment

medium sized jar. On the first day, she turned on the computer, entered her password, opened her email program and gasped.

She worked for less than a minute - and already received 385 messages. It will take more than one day to understand them.

AND by then hundreds of new ones will have accumulated.

WITH In the morning we start work, knowing that we will not have time to do everything we have planned. And we look back at the past years, asking ourselves: where did they go and why did our dreams not come true?

Time is the only thing that cannot be returned. Lost money? You will earn more. Lost a friend? We can make peace. Lost your job? Find another one. Over time, this number will not pass.

Current page: 1 (book has 13 pages in total) [available reading passage: 3 pages]

Peter Bregman
18 minutes. How to increase concentration, stop being distracted and get things done that really matter

Legal support for the publishing house is provided by the Vegas-Lex law firm.

To my wife Elinor and children Isabel,

Sofia and Daniel.

You are my inspiration.

Introduction

Got a new job - heading the training and development department at a mid-sized investment bank. On the first day, she turned on the computer, entered her password, opened her email program and gasped.

She worked for less than a minute and already received 385 messages. It will take more than one day to understand them. And by then hundreds of new ones will have accumulated.

Time is the only thing that cannot be returned. Lost money? You will earn more. Lost a friend? We can make peace. Lost your job? Find another one. Over time, this number will not pass.

And yet we constantly steal time from ourselves. Here are three stories on the topic.

Bill had no doubt about going to the meeting when the secretary put him on the list. But it turned out to be boring, and now, sitting in the conference room, Bill regretted that he had not refused. He pulled out his smartphone and started doing email. Suddenly he heard his name. The boss Letitia addressed him. He looked up, and she continued: “What do you think we should do?” Bill didn't understand what he was talking about. Where did the moment go?

Rajit sat down at his laptop on Wednesday morning at nine o'clock. He just wanted to write a proposal for a client, which had to be sent in two days. But after three calls, fifteen emails, two trips to the bathroom, half an hour of buying airline tickets for a family vacation, and four spontaneous conversations with colleagues, he received a message from his assistant: he had a business lunch in fifteen minutes. Where did the day go?

Marie came to her twenty-fifth high school reunion, and I immediately remembered her when I was seventeen. We got to talking, and it turned out that she had not changed a bit since that time: she remained beautiful, smart, talented, brave and honest. With one exception. The spark went out. “I can’t call myself unhappy,” she said. – I love my husband and children, I have a completely normal job. And in general, a completely normal life. That's all. I didn't really do anything. Every year I make plans, but something always gets in the way.” Marie feels her unrealized potential. She wants to do something. But for some reason it doesn't work. Where have all these years gone?

According to Newton's first law, a body continues to move at a constant speed until it is acted upon by an external force. This law also applies to people. Either we continue to move along a trajectory that does not quite suit us, unable to turn, or we consciously choose the right one, but something does not allow us to stay on it. In order for us to look back with satisfaction on what we have accomplished—in a day, a year, or a second—we need to change the script. Stop moving by inertia, being distracted by routine and reacting instinctively. You need to manage your own life.

But knowing is not enough - you have to act, and this is not easy. Marie's problem is not that she doesn't like family life. I really like it. And she wouldn't trade it for anything. It’s just that her family has overshadowed everything else in her life, and when she sums it up at the end of the year, she feels disappointed. And she doesn’t know what needs to be changed next year.

Rajith actually planned to write a proposal. But due to other matters, I deviated from the desired trajectory. Perhaps they were worthy of his attention, but in the end he never wrote a proposal.

I'll tell you how to solve these problems and avoid disappointment. I will show you a comprehensive approach to time management that will allow you to focus on the main thing. This is an important first step in getting back to yourself.

In Part I, I'll show you how to set the stage for further action. I'll talk about habits and thinking that help you see hidden opportunities. You will focus on the main thing, make a daily plan, stick to it and deal with distractions that negatively affect the result.

In Part IV, you'll learn how to deal with distractions—sometimes by using them, sometimes by avoiding them. You will learn not to quit halfway, even if you want to forget about it, and to set boundaries correctly. The part includes three sections - “How to start”, “How to set boundaries” and “How to manage yourself”. It contains many simple techniques, tips and rules that will help you stay on track.

Finally, I'll conclude by showing you how to get started in the right direction.

Recently, in my New York apartment, I opened Google app Earth on iPhone. It gives access to satellite maps of the whole world. First you see the Earth spinning in space, as if the phone screen were the window of a spaceship. Then you gradually approach the place where you are now. The picture becomes clearer as if you are landing. First you see the country, then the city - and finally the street.

However, this time the app showed me the city of Savannah, Georgia, where apparently I had used it shortly before. Then I touched the circle in the lower left corner - the "Find Me" button - and again took off into the air, transported to New York and found myself on my street. And then in a few seconds the program detected my exact position, and the picture became clear.

Think of 18 Minutes as a search button for your life. With its help, you will achieve maximum efficiency and clearly see yourself and your surroundings. This is a card with which you can go on any trip. You will be able to live your own life again: focus not on where you once were or where others want to see you, but on where you are now and where you want to be.

I will help you understand who you are and how to better use your abilities to achieve happiness, productivity and success. And even if you are slightly - or strongly - distracted from the main thing, do not worry: the book will help you focus on it. I wrote it so that Molly, Bill, Marie and you can look back and rightfully say: “Life was not lived in vain.”

Part I
Pause
Soar above your world

I started my business in 1998, in two-room apartment on the fourth floor, in a building without an elevator. I had a dream: to create an international consulting company with multi-million dollar turnover. And so that it would employ many consultants, instructors and coaches who would help people manage, work and live more successfully. This is such a big dream.

But there were no clients yet, and the company’s only physical asset was a computer. For the first six months, while the business was generating virtually no income, I lived on savings. There wasn't enough work to support me alone, let alone a team of consultants.

Then I won a large contract with a famous investment bank. It was big breakthrough– a project on which you can build a business. There was a need to quickly assemble a team - first six consultants, and then, if everything goes according to plan, another fifty. I remember sitting in the eighteen-meter living room/dining room/kitchen with my friend Elinor, and my head was spinning with possibilities and anxiety: will I cope?

And I assembled the first team, which did a tremendous job and was able to satisfy the client. As the project expanded, so did the team. Offices opened in Chicago, San Francisco, Paris, London, Tokyo and Hong Kong. The client base also grew.

I created my dream company at an unimaginable cost. short term. It was everything I had hoped for and planned for. In the first year I earned more money than the previous three. In the second year I doubled my income, and in the third I began fantasizing about retiring in ten years. However, despite this success, I realized that there was one thing I had not planned for: my happiness.

For some reason I didn't have the feeling that my actions, the way I do them and the people I work with will help me achieve my maximum potential. At the time, I didn't know why and was too busy to find out. Everything seemed to be going well, so why bother? And I didn't change my tactics.

And then everything collapsed: the dot-com revolution, the financial services industry, the demand for consulting, and with them my business.

By that time, Elinor and I were married, Isabel had already been born, the situation was difficult. Bills were piling up and income was rapidly dwindling. I felt stressed, but at the same time a strange feeling of relief. Now I began to fantasize not about retirement, but about a completely new business. About my own life.

And I signed up for acting courses, I was wondering whether to go to medical school, applied to a rabbinical seminary, launched a fake investment fund (with toy money - to see if I would like it and how things would go) and continued to consult individually. I was searching.

I slowed down, curbed my inertia, began to think about my choices, began to rest more and relaxed. I began to take a closer look at myself and the world around me - and began to notice my qualities that were not being used optimally. I felt that strength was growing within me. Untapped potential.

I didn’t yet know what this potential was, but I was absolutely sure: it was worth developing. Therefore, I continued experiments and observations.

It turns out that I clicked the “Find me” button. Then he flew into the sky and saw his world from a bird's eye view.

I paused, looked around and realized what was happening. I went off the path, but not too far, and could easily find my way. I realized where I needed to come down to become myself and fully immerse myself in work and life. And spend time on the main thing that I do well and that gives me pleasure.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. In the first part of the book, I will help you take to the skies. You need a bird's eye view. To do this, you need to press the “Find me” button, and then pause - so that, after flying above own world, land where you want.

Chapter 1
Slow down the rotation
How to reduce the force of inertia

I was racing on full speed without getting closer to any goal. Fine familiar feeling– but this time I acted consciously: I pedaled the exercise bike.

When the towel fell from the handlebars to the floor, I tried to stop and get off. Keyword- “tried.” It didn’t work right away, because the force of inertia was too great and the pedals were spinning on their own. It took several minutes to slow down.

Inertia is hard to resist.

For example, after arguing with a friend about politics for fifteen minutes, I realized that I myself was no longer sure that I was right. But he fiercely defended his opinion, and suddenly it turned out that I was passionately defending the opposite point of view, about which I didn’t know much. And it was difficult to stop. It is especially difficult if you have already spent time, energy, emotions, and sometimes money defending your point of view.

Several of my friends got married and divorced within a couple of years. And then they all said that when they got married, they already imagined how it would end. But they had gone too far and didn't know how to stop. The same thing happened to my friends who invested money in companies that turned out to be unprofitable. They understood what was happening, but they had already given so much that it was difficult for them to stop. Sometimes they even increased investments and lost everything.

Sometimes it's not that serious. For example, you need to allocate resources to projects or decide whether to further develop a particular idea.

How to reverse if you see your mistake, but have already put in a lot of effort and don’t want to back down? There are two strategies for countering inertia: slow down And start over.

1. Slow down. As the example with the exercise bike showed, it is impossible to immediately go to reverse side. Treat it like a process. First, stop pedaling too hard. Secondly, once the momentum decreases, start moving backwards slowly.

If you've been arguing fiercely for your reasons but realize you were wrong, try talking less and listening more. Say, for example: “That’s an interesting idea, I’ll have to think about it” or: “Can you tell me more about this?” This way you will gain time. Listening is a great remedy for inertia: you don’t have to choose one point of view or another.

If you are unsure about a financial investment, reduce it without giving up completely. Then you are essentially reducing your bet on being right.

2. Start over. A friend of mine, a successful investor, taught me the game. I was thinking about giving up an investment that wasn't paying off. A friend asked a question: If I were starting from scratch at today's price, would I make this investment? On the same day I sold the asset.

Our lives influence new decisions. If I hire an employee and invest in his success, I find it difficult to admit that he is not performing well. But would I have hired him then if I knew everything about him that I know now? If not, then you should break up with him. The same is true for a project I supported or a solution I advocated. I imagine myself as a new manager who comes to the project. Is it worth continuing to invest in additional resources? Or is it better to close it and move on?

People's inability to admit they are wrong has destroyed marriages and damaged businesses and careers. According to them, the reason was a reluctance to appear weak. But admitting mistakes or even reconsidering your views requires willpower. And others also consider this a manifestation of strength.

Great leaders have had the confidence to look critically at own point vision and accept other people's opinions using technology slowdown Even if they knew they were right.

Dr. Allan Rosenfield, the late dean of Columbia University's School of Public Health, was just such a leader. He worked for more than 40 years in state system healthcare. Died in 2008. His work has made a significant impact on the lives of women and people living with HIV. The Columbia University School of Public Health building is named in his honor.

I once heard Allan and his friend Lee discussing whether their children should be vaccinated. The first was an expert on this issue and had a clear position, while the second expressed opposing arguments. Allan cited statistics that over the past 40 years, vaccinations against polio, mumps, measles, etc. have helped prevent millions of deaths and serious illnesses.

Lee referred to a study from an unknown source on the Internet, which claimed that vaccinations bring more harm than good. Allan, one of the foremost health experts of all time, had every right to laugh and tell Lee that information should be taken from reliable and verified sources. And then repeat your arguments about the benefits of vaccinations. But he didn't do anything like that.

He just looked at Lee, paused, and said, “I haven’t read that study. Send me a link. I’ll take a look and give my opinion.”

Reducing inertia is the first step to freeing yourself from beliefs, habits, emotions and activities that may be limiting you.

Chapter 2
The Girl Who Stopped the Crocodile Man
The amazing effect of a short pause

I am the Crocodile Man, a dangerous waterfowl monster. I quietly swim up to the victim - a seven-year-old girl named Isabelle, who is my daughter. Sensing danger, she nervously looks around the pool and notices me. We make eye contact for a second. She smiles, squeals and rushes into the opposite direction. But I'm too fast. I push off from the bottom and attack. But when I appear within inches of Isabelle, she turns to me, gasping for air, and raises her hand.

- STOP! - she shouts.

- What's happened?

- Swallowed some water.

Of course we pause.

In these few seconds I think: “Why don’t we do this in everyday life?”

We've all hit the "Submit" button and immediately regretted it. This happens so often that Google has added an “Unsend Message” feature to Gmail that you can turn on in Settings. When you click Send, Gmail delays the message for five seconds. During this time you may change your mind.

It seems that this time is enough for most people to realize the mistake.

In the case of email, the “Cancel” button can save us a lot of time and effort - we don’t have to pedal backwards. But when we communicate in person or over the phone, there is no such button. Sometimes we try to overturn the sending - like a judge who tells the jury to ignore the testimony of a witness. However, what has been said cannot be reversed. As my mother likes to say, “I forgive... but I don’t forget.”

It’s easier to initially avoid unproductive “sending”.

Google gives us five seconds. But you can think to sending. Sometimes just five seconds is enough to avoid making a mistake.

- Stop! – Isabelle shouted, swallowing water. – Stop for a few seconds and let me catch my breath.

We are not obliged to react immediately - there is no such rule. So stop. Take a few deep breaths.

One day, due to a misunderstanding, I missed an appointment with Luigi, one of the clients. That same day, I was walking along the corridor of his office, and suddenly they shouted to me:

- Hey, Bregman, where have you been?

The pulse stopped. Adrenaline rushed into the blood. Emotions came up. Embarrassment. Anger. Defensive reaction. How dare Luigi shout at me in the hallway, in front of other people?

I then discussed this reaction with Joshua Gordon, a neuroscientist and professor at Columbia University.

“Sensory stimuli go straight to the amygdala,” he said.

– The amygdala is responsible for emotional reaction in the brain,” Joshua explained. – When a person is worried about something, this gland immediately “gives” an emotional response.

Fine. But naked, primitive, unadulterated emotions are not the best basis for decision-making. How to move from emotions to rational thinking?

It turns out that while you are fighting with another person, there is a parallel war going on in your brain - with yourself. It's quiet internal struggle between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala.

Imagine that the amygdala is a little red creature with a pitchfork that sits in your head and says: “Let's stab this guy!” — and the prefrontal cortex is a little creature in white, saying, “Well, maybe you shouldn’t yell back at him. He is, after all, our client."

“Cognitive control of the prefrontal cortex over the amygdala is required,” Dr. Gordon explained.

Then I asked what to do. He thought for a minute and replied:

– If you take a breath and relax, the prefrontal cortex has time to take control of the emotional reaction.

– When we begin to breathe more slowly, the brain calms down.

– And how long does the pause have to last for the prefrontal cortex to overcome the amygdala?

- A little. Just a second or two.

Here. Five seconds of Google is good general rule. When Luigi started yelling at me in the hallway, I did deep breath and gave the prefrontal cortex time to take over. I knew we didn't understand each other, and I knew how important my relationship with Luigi was to me. So I didn’t shout back, but walked up to him. It took a few seconds. But we both had time to come to our senses.

Take a break. Breathe in. And take action.

It turns out that Isabelle's reaction could be a good strategy for all of us.

- To the start? - I ask when she seems to have recovered.

- Attention, march! - Isabelle shouts and rushes into the water with fresh strength, concentrating on the ladder that she needs to swim to.

I give my daughter a five-second head start and dive in after her.

A few seconds. This is enough to consciously choose a direction and not go astray. And then periodically check whether we are moving in the right direction.

Take a short break and your next move will be smarter.

18 minutes of wisdom

Peter Bregman's book18 minutes. How to increase concentration, stop being distracted and get things done that really matter"(MYTH, 2014; book page on the publisher's website; bought on Ozone ) has been patiently waiting for my turn to read since the beginning of December 2013.

Having received a package from the publisher in December, I, of course, looked through this book... ( I always do this: first, quickly flip through all the books received/purchased, after which they are sorted by reading priority :)). When I first watched the book “18 Minutes” I didn’t like it: (Well, yes, another 100,500th book about time management and self-organization... The first thing that catches your eye is some stories from the author about his beloved self... The second thing that catches your eye about time management is some excerpts from what has long been known:( In short, I put the book at the end of the queue...

Author of the book - Peter Bregman - professional business consultant. Lives in the USA. Wrote two books (the second of them: Point B: A Short Guide to Leading a Big Change), and apparently 5 more co-authors. Specializes in issues of leadership and personal effectiveness, team building, improving the management style/system in organizations. Regular contributor to all sorts of business publications like HBR, Forbes, etc. (there is one on the website, updated about once a month). The articles are simple :), but quite good...

I can honestly say that track record I was not very impressed with the author and his website. We know these consultants)))) Of course, these are my personal (professional) impressions - in soft-skill consulting ( like leadership training) it’s very difficult to surprise me with anything... So Bregman seems like such a standard average guru, repeating old truths in a new manner :(

Nevertheless, I still read his book ("18 Minutes"), and the most interesting thing is that book this I really liked it. I liked it first of all reasonable minimalism in construction personal system time management, as well as calm ( without any “super achievements”, “ quick results"and other bullshit) and a wise approach to self-organization. I can say that what Peter suggests largely coincides with my ideas “suffered” from my own experience :)

Strictly speaking, the time management system proposed by P. Bregman is once again a modified GTD of D. Allen. Bregman identifies four time “horizons”:

-strategic perspective - awareness of one’s place in life, choice of one’s calling

-one year - selection of several (3-5-7) important areas of life in which you want to develop, to which you will pay targeted attention

-one day - ...essentially, it proposes planning each day in the form of a simple structured list of to-dos/tasks.

We take a piece of paper and draw a plate on it, the number of cells in which is equal to the number of life spheres we have identified. After that, the affairs/tasks for the day corresponding to these life spheres are written down in each cell. The result is a simple and clear plan. Priority tasks can be highlighted (emphasized) in some way. If desired, tasks can be transferred to a diary, or linked to a specific time directly in this table. ...Everything is simple and has long been known :)

Very correct and important point in the Bregman system this is constant monitoring for the implementation of the to-do list (and, if necessary, correction of the plan itself). Why is the book called "18 Minutes"? Because all daily planning system takes only 18 minutes: 5 minutes in the morning to draw up/correct a plan for the day + 5 minutes in the evening to correct/make a plan for the next day + 1 minute each during 8 working hours (total another 8 minutes) in order to quickly check the plan - cross out completed tasks , add new ones, etc.

This is a question of the quality and depth of immersion in the work you are doing; This is the ability not to imitate vigorous activity, but to truly be “in the flow.” The ability to be focused largely depends on the ability to overcome internal resistance (like lack of motivation, disorganization, etc.) and external interference (like other people violating the boundaries of your personal time, etc.).

I also recommend looking at the excellent visual summary of the book on Dmitry Yatsuk’s blog. Kirill Antonov also created and posted on the website Lifehack.ru an excellent algorithm (in the form of a flowchart) for time management “according to Bregman.”

Why did I like this book? Here are three “pluses” that make the book worth reading:

1. Offered simple, economical(i.e. it does not require a lot of effort, money and time), clear and effective time management system. Any schoolchild can master it :) And you don’t need any special gadgets: a piece of paper, a pencil and your head :)

2. This system is based on QUALITY of time, and not the pursuit of “getting everything done”, achieving “excellent results”, etc.

Bregman suggests (in part 1 of the book) to start managing your time/life with PAUSE. From looking at yourself from the outside, from understanding your true needs. Those. from awareness of the quality of your life, from a clear understanding of what quality of life you should strive for.

In part 4 of the book we are again talking about quality - but this time about the quality of a moment, an instant. How to act in such a way as to immerse yourself in your work and get maximum pleasure from it?

I want to say that the qualitative approach to time largely contradicts classical time management, which is “time accounting”, focused specifically on the quantity of time (but not on its quality). This is one of the key ideas"