Children often face the problem of moving to another school and another class. How can you help your child cope with the tension that arises when changing teams?

Agree, go to new team always afraid. Not only children, but even adults show uncertainty. When changing jobs or moving globally to another city/country, according to statistics, the biggest fear is to end up in a company where “outsiders” are not very well received. What can we say about a child who must not only go to new company, but also try to make friends with teenage peers who, with an already established team and long-formed groups of friends, are often wary of a newcomer. The support of parents and friends at such times is extremely necessary for the child. It is also important to set the student up correctly, to tell him how best to behave in order to make friends with new classmates.

How easily your child will join a new team largely depends on his character and communication skills. Children who quickly make contact are more likely to find new friends without any problems; the process of meeting people, gaining trust, and recognition can bring them great pleasure. Children with increased anxiety and suspiciousness, most likely, it will take a long time to get used to new classmates. It is very easy to draw parallels and analogies here with our adult life. It is also more than obvious that successful adaptation experiences in childhood will affect the child in the future.

Teachers and child psychologists draw the attention of parents to the fact that changing schools or classes should occur after the holidays, when all children have to somewhat adapt to the school rhythm . It will be easier for the child himself to get used to the changes, to get used to the idea that he will have to go to new class and re-merge into educational process.

You will better prepare your child for the transition if you first come to school together, meet the teachers, and show the class. Please pay Special attention on how it is customary to dress in new school. Don't delay in purchasing a fashionable school uniform 2017 to match what other students are wearing.

The topic of “moving to a new school” should be discussed in your family ! You cannot avoid it, hush it up, or treat it as something ordinary. Tell your son or daughter about the advantages of moving to a new place of study, interest him or her, and show them the prospects. Try to listen to children's opinions.

If possible, invite old friends from your child’s previous class to visit more often. If the child has already joined the new team, invite new friends to visit, the merger of two companies - the old one and the newly formed one will also be a natural and consolidating process.

Teach your child to stand up for himself and ignore the jokes of classmates, which newcomers often experience. It is very important to show that you yourself are practically not worried about adaptation, but not because you don’t care, but because you are confident in it and in its success.

Talk to us first teaching staff and talk about the difficulties your child may have, his personality traits, weaknesses and strengths in learning.

If, for example, the class visits exhibitions or cinemas monthly, children gather during school holidays– give the child the opportunity to participate in these activities, since it is during this non-school time that children become more liberated and friendships are formed between them.

Sometimes life circumstances develop in such a way that you have to change your place of residence. And at the same time a place of work and study. Such changes are usually accompanied by a number of shocks, and in some cases, stress. Not everyone can afford to change their usual environment.

Social psychologists say that an adult adapts to a new team for approximately three months.

In children, this period is reduced to two weeks. And for some, this process stretches out quite noticeably.

To help the child adapt to new environment Use these tips as quickly as possible.

First of all, set your child up to positive mood. Explain that the new school is no worse, and maybe even better, than the old one. Undoubtedly, it is a pity that former comrades and friends remained in the previous school. But you can continue to communicate with them. Thankfully we live in a world high technology. And if you put in a little effort and a little patience, friends will appear at your new place of study. And then the circle of communication will be much wider. It's so wonderful to have a lot of friends. The main thing is to say this in a confident and friendly tone. Having caught even a little doubt in your voice, the child will also quickly begin to doubt the “success of the enterprise.”

Invite your child to invite new classmates to chat, so to speak, informal setting. If living conditions allow, you can organize a tea party at home. If this is not possible, talk to class teacher about the possibility of holding a “sweet table” at school.

After your first visit to school, be sure to ask your child in detail how his day was, who he made friends with, what new things he learned, where his classmates live, etc. By the child's reaction, you can understand whether he has come to the court.

So, an alarming signal that a child is having a hard time in a new team may be his “reluctance” to go to school. It should also be alarming that he does not share details and news of school life. Lack of calls from classmates is another bad sign. If at least one of the above situations occurs, try to talk frankly with your child. Find out the reasons that, in his opinion, led to this situation. Try to help the child in both word and deed. If you see that the situation is beyond your sphere of influence, seek help from professional psychologist. Today, almost every school has such a specialist.

TEENAGER IN A NEW TEAM.

What should be taken into account when a teenager moves to a new team?

13-15 years old - the age of the all-conquering desire for individualization and the denial of the typical social experience. But the teenager is not yet ready for complete personal autonomy, he is strangled by a strong emotional protest, against the backdrop of powerful emotional experiences there is still no room for analysis, comprehension, or the search for his own value guidelines.

The adolescent’s half-autonomization is expressed as bizarrely as the half-hearted normalization in preschool period. A teenager is freed from generalized social norms of the adult world that do not work in life and uncritically learned, through uncritical, full immersion into the norms of the peer reference group. Now the main source from which he draws material for understanding the world social relations, - spontaneous personal experience, often obtained in risky, extreme forms. A teenager is not free from typical experience; the child develops in antiphase to it. And he is not looking for freedom, he is not ready for it. He needs a path in life along which he can walk, freely waving his long, disproportionate and awkward arms, and which would have clearly defined, understandable and unambiguous curbs. There is no return to uncritical normativity. Or rather, there is, but at the cost of giving up individuality.

Teenagers feel burdened if their behavior is determined by external regulation. They are more willing to follow rules of behavior if these rules are well understood by them and act as their own moral principles. That is why a deep explanation of moral norms and rules and the formation of moral views and beliefs among adolescents should be an essential feature moral education. At the same time, he does not lose his pedagogical significance and tactfully implemented regulation, as well as control over the behavior of students as measures to prevent pranks and rash actions (9, P.14).

Research inner world teenagers show that one of the most serious problems middle school age - inconsistency of beliefs, moral ideas and concepts, on the one hand, with actions, actions, behavior, on the other. Intentions are usually good, but actions are not always plausible.

Moral ideals and moral beliefs of adolescents are influenced by various factors and therefore very diverse. Along with positively oriented qualities, there are many erroneous, immature, and even immoral ideas. Teenagers - boys tend to choose strong, courageous, brave people as their idols. Not only book pirates and robbers, but also completely down-to-earth local hooligans, whom “even the police are afraid of,” can become attractive to them. By imitating them, teenagers, without realizing it themselves, cross that dangerous line beyond which courage turns into cruelty, independence into meanness, self-respect into violence against others. Today's teenage girls also have many false ideals. Research shows a noticeable shift in emphasis from traditionally positive moral values ​​to imaginary, false and even antisocial ones. Some teenage girls do not condemn prostitution, profiteering, parasitism, and are proud of their acquaintances with delinquents.

By the end of adolescence, schoolchildren are faced with the real problem of choosing a profession. Most teenagers correctly understand the meaning of honesty and conscientious work, take a responsible approach to the future. But research recent years confirm that infantilism, indifference, and social immaturity are progressing. More and more teenagers who do not want to commit their future life not only with difficulty in the field material production, but also with difficulty in general. The ideal of an honest worker ceased to be attractive.

IN adolescence There is a change in the authority of the teacher to the authority of a peer; the authority of an adult will return only in adolescence, at the age of 18-20. The reaction of the group is through communication, knowledge and evaluation of oneself, assertion of one’s dignity and prestige among comrades.

The teenager begins to commit a large number of actions to gain the attention of peers:

Socially significant actions - sports, studies, public life, if there is a team that is capable of directing this.

Antisocial manifestations - rudeness, disruption of lessons, demonstrative behavior, especially if it is supported by friends. “The first rudeness cannot be forgiven, otherwise a scoundrel will grow up,” believed A.S. Makarenko (13, P.241).

During this period, the desire for risk, overcoming everything, including rules and customs, dominates.

Extravagance in clothing, desire for contradictions. Independence in behavior. Tendency to deviant behavior, that is, deviations from the norm. Crime is also a means to fill the vacuum. The desire to experience strong emotions, to extreme experiences.

That is, on the one hand, the desire for independence, adulthood, and on the other hand, negativity. Its course is different in boys and girls: girls - negative manifestations are more passive, mainly high fatigue, irritability, desire for solitude; boys - negative manifestations are more aggressive, rude, expressed in a harsher form (17, P.208).

The specificity of the assimilation of social norms in youth is associated with the peculiarity of the stage of socialization, which includes the completion of its primary stage and the beginning of the secondary.

In youth, previously acquired identity is questioned. Awareness of the need to solve adult problems causes the experience of how an individual looks in the eyes of others in comparison with his own own presentation About Me. In search of a new sense of identity and continuity, young people are forced to re-fight many of the battles of past years, bringing their internal forces, as well as real significant others. This new, final identity at the stage before adulthood, is something more than the sum of childhood identifications. New identity is a feeling of confidence that internal identity and continuity is combined with the sameness and continuity of the individual's meaning for “others”. This identity confirms the individual’s readiness to integrate all his previous identifications (individual and personal) with the ability to perform social roles adult.

The following types of social adaptation of adolescents and high school students are distinguished::

Personality adaptation through transformation or complete overcoming problematic situation, including various conflicts.

Personal adaptation by avoiding a problematic situation.

Adaptation with maintaining the problem situation and adapting to it.

Social norms are standards of performance and rules of behavior that are expected of a member of a group or society and are enforced through sanctions. Social norms order and regulate social interactions.

One of the types of social norms are moral norms. Moral social norms are moral imperatives; requirements for certain behavior based on ideas accepted in society: about good and evil; about what is proper or what is not.

Another type of social norm is group norms. Group norms are moral norms, standards of acceptable and unacceptable behavior in a group. Group norms: perform functions social control over the activities of the individual; contribute to the sustainability and stability of the group’s existence; may hinder the restructuring of the group's activities in changed social conditions.

The concept of socialization norm is closely related to the concept of social norm. IN in a broad sense socialization norm defined as the result successful socialization, allowing individuals and society to reproduce social connections, public relations and cultural values ​​and ensure their further development.

At the individual level this norm is a multidimensional standard of a person’s socialization, taking into account his age and individual psychological characteristics. At the societal level it represents an established set of rules for the transmission of social norms and cultural values from generation to generation.

In the practical part of this work, we carried out empirical study differences in ideas about social norms and the level of social adaptation of adolescents and high school students with the help of a questionnaire and social adaptation methodology developed by us.

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Jump, run, swim, catch, climb - and then suddenly read, write, count, sit, perform... Stress from September 1 is an inevitable thing. But it increases many times if the child goes to a new school. How should he behave in order to gain the authority of his classmates and not become a black sheep?

19:14 13.01.2013

It so happened that last year I was forced to take my third-grader son out of his previous school and transfer him to a new one, closer to home. For Andrey it became a real tragedy. He knew his former classmates since kindergarten, was friends with many, he was respected and considered a leader. Without exaggeration, I parted with tears in my eyes - both with students and teachers. And all summer he was worried about how he would be received at his new school.

On September 1, the son woke up and said that he would not go anywhere. My husband and I begged and persuaded him - he didn’t even want to get out of bed. He had to voluntarily and compulsorily wash and dress, and dad took him - tear-stained, with red eyes - to a new class. I, myself, am not a big fan of new companies, with horror I imagined how difficult it would be for him to join the team that had formed over three years with its own leaders and morals. I came up with words with which I would console him and persuade him to go to class the next day. With a heavy heart I came to meet him at school. And what? My boy, who just a few hours ago did not want to let go of his father’s hand in front of the classroom door, ran out joyful, satisfied, surrounded by guys, and began excitedly talking about how great the first day was...

Of course, 4th grade is not 9th grade, children get to know each other more easily and get along. But this is not preschool age, when you can walk up to anyone on the playground and start talking about yourself. Boys and girls are already shy and worried about the impression they make on others. Not everyone manages to suppress shyness, show friendliness and demonstrate their strengths. Much also depends on the teacher - whether she will be able to gently introduce a newcomer into the team. We were lucky: Galina Pavlovna Ivanus, a teacher with 45 years of experience, was able to introduce Andrey in such a way that the guys recognized him as one of their own on the very first day. I asked Galina Pavlovna to talk about how to make it easier for a student to get used to a new class and help him adapt.

Build bridges

“A child feels everything the same as an adult. You will be comfortable in a new environment, among strangers? “Hardly,” says Galina Pavlovna. - To understand what a child is going through, imagine yourself in his place - for example, when moving to new job. How would you behave?

Firstly, I would probably talk to the boss and ask about the team. Secondly, perhaps she found a reason to meet one of her future colleagues a little earlier. “So with a new child, before the start of classes, go to the teacher, get to know each other, tell them about your son or daughter. She will show him or her the class, the school, tell him about the peculiarities of studying in this particular institution, about the children who study here. Then future student“You won’t be so confused on September 1,” the teacher advises. It would be a good idea to take the phone numbers of the parents of two or three active students and chat with them as well. Ask what the kids in the class are interested in, what they collect, what sections they attend. Maybe someone will agree to meet - then your child will come to school, where he will already have a friend.

Parent support

No matter how much we encourage our child, no matter how much we inspire him that “everything will be fine,” and tell him that we have been in his shoes, this will not solve the problem. For the child, the upcoming situation is a real test, and he is not reassured by the fact that his parents once successfully went through the same thing. Psychologist Lesya Antonova suggests reducing a child’s anxiety using the following techniques.

Guardian angel. To a future first-grader who is afraid of being without his parents, tell the story that an invisible guardian angel will sit on his shoulder, who will help in case of difficulties and will not give Masha (Petya) offense to anyone. And if the baby is uncomfortable, you can talk to him quietly. Explain that each of us has a guardian angel, that he protects us from troubles and that we can rely on him. It's good to read a prayer together.

Positive scenario. Ask your child to talk about perfect day at a new school. How does he see it? This story should be in the present tense: “I enter the classroom, everyone is looking at me, etc.” Let him repeat it before going to bed. By voicing what he wants, a person programs a positive scenario.

A double is going to school. It happens that a child received negative experience in the previous school - he was offended, not noticed, not recognized. Now he is very afraid of repeating the plot. Moving to a new place of study is a chance to build new relationships with both teachers and classmates, and correct your mistakes. Let the child tell you how he would like to be - sociable, cheerful, knowledgeable. And then he will imagine that he has turned into his double with such a wonderful character. The double is not afraid to joke, make acquaintances, smile at girls or boys. And in any situation that causes fear in a child, his double acts... Note also that in the new school no one knows about his failures and no one will look at him as a black sheep.

Mascot. Before leaving home, give the student some small thing as a talisman that brings good luck: a plaster figurine, a coin, a piece of jewelry. And accompany him that day at least to the school gates.

They meet you by their clothes

The attitude towards a new person is always wary: what kind of animal is it, how will it behave? But, on the other hand, he has advantages: he is the center of attention, all eyes are on him, his personality arouses interest that other classmates have not aroused for a long time. How he shows himself now will determine his place in the class: the first impression is the strongest. If the children decide that he is an authority, then this will last for a long time. If you are given a label - “upstart”, “clown”, “princess” - then you will have to make a lot of effort to get rid of it. Therefore, the moment of the first meeting is very important.

For junior schoolchildren How exactly the teacher introduces the new student and introduces him to the team will play a big role. “Having learned in advance about the student’s hobbies, I briefly characterize him in front of the class,” says Galina Pavlovna. “I ask the children to understand his feelings and remember how they themselves were beginners.” Then all the students stand in a circle, say their names, shake hands and smile. This welcoming atmosphere allows them to relax. On the first day, I try to give the newcomer the opportunity to express himself and his talents; I challenge him in class if he shows his hand. When we play outdoor games during breaks, I give him leadership. This makes it easier for children to accept it.”

High school students don't play games during breaks. And here it depends only on the teenager how he will be received. The best tactic, according to Lesya Antonova’s advice, is not to try to immediately open up and gain trust, but to behave in a friendly, relaxed, but at the same time modest manner. “Each class has its own hierarchy and its own rules. It is important to show the newcomer that he is ready to accept them. It's bad to isolate yourself - there is a risk of remaining unnoticed. But there is no need to get into trouble, showing how smart and cool you are - they don’t like upstarts. Don’t try to please everyone, don’t curry favor with anyone.

After the summer, the guys will share their impressions and laugh. Don’t stand on the sidelines, come up and ask: “Can I listen too?” Listen, nod, smile, but don’t interrupt or get involved in the conversation unless asked. If they don’t ask, there’s no need. The less they know about you now, the more interest in you,” the psychologist gives “survival tips” to teenagers.

To melt the crust of ice that has fenced him off from the class, a newcomer can ask the kids to show him around the school, ask where the canteen is, whether the food is tasty there, who teaches physical education, whether there are any events held at school. extracurricular activities etc. Before going home, be sure to say goodbye to everyone: “Happy, boys (girls), see you tomorrow!”, “Bye-bye everyone!”, thereby demonstrating your positive attitude and a desire to join the company.

It is worth noting that the socialization of boys and girls occurs differently. Girls are more friendly, they will more easily accept a new girl if she does not stand out too brightly against their background. The boys will begin to provoke the new student, become bullying, and may even have to fight. But it's better to do without it. Advise your son to behave affably, but to strictly suppress “attacks” and insults.

How to stand out without standing out

The first day is over - the worst is over. But there is also a second, third, fourth... And here the child faces difficult task: to attract attention, to force the team to respect themselves, but not to be branded as a braggart and an upstart.

Everyone is looking for how to demonstrate their strengths. Parents can advise, guide, help prepare for lessons, find additional material to make the student interested in the class interesting message or surprised by knowledge of a foreign language. My son benefited from his good drawing skills: on the theme “How I spent my summer,” he depicted himself with his grandfather in the aviation museum - and this drawing attracted everyone’s attention. Someone sings well, someone runs or long jumps well, someone recites poetry beautifully - let the child not be afraid to express himself. His skill will not go unnoticed and will certainly arouse approval and even admiration (even against the backdrop of envy, which is a normal phenomenon among both children and adults).

But teachers warn against gaining false authority by bragging about things (latest model mobile phone, expensive shoes), parents’ achievements (“And my dad…”), life’s blessings (“Yes, everyone in our family has a car,” “We live in a cool area.” "). Firstly, there are probably children in the class who live much more modestly: they will feel depressed, which means they will immediately dislike the braggart. Secondly, even if this is a “cool” school where such conversations are the norm, you need to teach the child not to encourage materialism and to value people for their personal qualities, and not for the cost and prestige of the objects around them. Explain to your son or daughter that in a situation where children brag material assets, it’s better to just remain silent or answer evasively: “No worse than the rest,” “We live like everyone else,” “Enough,” “Enough” (money in the family), “Not the worst” (mobile, car). And if they start to “take it lightly,” answer: “I just don’t attach much importance to it.”

If it is not accepted

The reason usually lies in the child himself. Most often, withdrawn and unsociable children become outcasts, or, conversely, bright personalities, very different from others. Any trait that distinguishes a child from his peers, both in appearance and in character, can provoke “ special treatment"classmates. Excessive obesity, glasses, stuttering, excessive slowness or hot temper - and the newcomer is given offensive nicknames, not accepted into the game, teased.

“When I see that a student is withdrawn, keeps aloof from everyone, in games I give him the leading role, setting him as an example for others,” says Galina Pavlovna. “It is important for a teacher to find the strengths in each student and highlight them.” She advises: if last school your son or daughter had problems with communication, it is worth warning the teacher about this in advance - he will be more attentive and tactful.

In this situation, it is important for parents to help the child form a positive self-esteem, to convince him that he is not only no worse than other children, but also has a number of talents that he can be proud of. With your support, he will be able to win the interest of his classmates. Organize with your husband, for example, a trip to the forest for the whole class - with a fire, kulesh, and songs. Enroll your son or daughter in playing the guitar or modern dancing - these skills always raise authority among teenagers. Have a party at home and invite the company your child wants to join. If you or your husband are photographers, you can organize a fun outdoor photo shoot for the guys. Take the class on a tour of your businesses... Lots of ideas. It is important not to leave the child aside with his problems, but to take part in his life, instilling in him that he is capable, strong and will achieve a lot. Self-confidence will allow him not to get lost and find his place - both in the classroom and in life.

Should I change school?

Moving to a new place of study is a serious stress for a child. But at the same time it’s good hardening. We asked people who changed schools as children to remember their feelings.

Alla Mart, 35 years old, PR specialist

I learned to observe

I had to change schools three times: in the 3rd, 5th and 9th grades. The most difficult transition, perhaps, was from 4th to 5th grade. Because we moved to a different area, and besides, the education system had changed - we had to get used to not only the students, but also the teachers. But I was lucky: I easily fit into groups, we met often good people. I think it was a great experience - now I can easily fit into any company, changing jobs is not a challenge for me. I developed a “newbie position”: not to be active at first, but to calmly observe and analyze. My only regret is that due to frequent transitions, I don’t have friends, as they say, from the sandbox.

Anton Morgunenko, 30 years old, business coach

Didn't repeat school mistake

I changed four schools, in the 7th, 10th, and 11th grade. The most difficult was the first transition. Why? In my previous school, I immediately took an authoritative position, because I had the most in a loud voice and was the tallest. And although my character is not aggressive, all the cocky guys tried to gain my favor.

Having moved to a new school, I, as I now understand, used the usual model of behavior and expected everyone’s favor. But, of course, everything did not go so smoothly. I even had to fight. I remember my mother parent meeting they said: “Your son rode into the classroom on our most cocky student” (and I literally rode him after the fight). Then there were two more translations. And also difficult.

And after about 15 years, in adult life, I found myself in a similar situation, but this time I solved it differently. I needed to join an already established work team as a commercial director. I did not repeat my school mistake and joined the group without “mental fights” and hostility. I believe that changing schools is a lesson in developing adaptability and emotional intelligence. The lesson is often harsh. After it, the child can become both more withdrawn and more charismatic.

Aigul Kozak, 31 years old, bank employee

Pioneers accepted twice

My father was a military man, and as a child I often moved with my parents from city to city, but I don’t remember changing schools causing any particular problems. I studied excellently, and it helped me out. After all, the program is all over Soviet Union was identical, that is, in all schools they studied the same thing and using the same textbooks. It turned out that it was necessary to join only the new crowd, but not the educational process. There were, of course, incidents, for example, I was accepted into the Pioneers twice, but in both schools I was in the forefront for good academic performance.

Probably now it is not so easy for parents to change schools for their children: different programs, textbooks, schools different levels... Although, having become a mother, I realized that the main thing is the parental attitude. If the mother is positive and not afraid of difficulties, then the child will succeed, regardless of whether he changes schools or studies in one from first grade to last.

How to determine that he is on the sidelines

Even good grades- is not a guarantee that the child has found a place in the team. You can determine that he has problems with communication at the new school by the following signs.

• The son or daughter goes to school with obvious reluctance, and waits for the weekend, starting on Monday.
• His classmates never call him, and he never calls anyone.
• He goes home straight after school and never stays to play with his friends.
• He has been studying at his new school for several weeks now, and you still don’t know anyone from his class.
• He answers all questions about the school reluctantly, saying that the previous one was better.
• I began to feel particularly complex about my appearance or the lack of certain attributes (mobile phone of the wrong model, old sneakers, etc.).

NB! It is very important to have a heart-to-heart talk. You may need the help of a psychologist. The situation cannot be ignored: after all, the strongest complexes are formed in childhood.

Unlike others - common reason rejection of a person in a team. " White crow", who cannot or does not want to be like everyone else, often causes rejection from others.

The reason can be anything. Another nationality physical handicap due to illness, a speech impediment or a dissonant surname, unusual appearance - even if it’s just a strange hairstyle. Grades higher or lower than others in the class. Your family has more or less money than others.

Everything that strikingly distinguishes a child from the majority puts him in the risk group: he is not like everyone else. Excessive guardianship on the part of older family members can also become a reason for ridicule from classmates - do not forget about this.

The role of a “hermit” does not cause psychological discomfort for everyone. But what if a child desperately needs friends and recognition from peers, but fails to establish relationships with classmates? What can parents do in this case?

How to understand that a child has become an outcast?

If the child cannot find mutual language with new classmates, the first “bells” will not take long to arrive. And an attentive parent will quickly understand that something wrong is happening in the life of their son or daughter. What you should pay attention to?

The child rejoices at any opportunity not to go to school - for example, due to illness.

Constantly comes up with reasons not to go to school, although he completed it on time homework. If this does not work, he goes to classes without desire.

He doesn’t say anything about his classmates, doesn’t invite them to visit. Never participates in class activities.

He always returns from school in a bad mood.

You regularly notice minor injuries on your child, damage to his clothes or school supplies.

The main principle is do no harm!

The natural desire of a loving parent is to protect the child from injustice and give justice to all those responsible. And not only to the offenders, but also to teachers, who “it’s not clear where they were looking, how they allowed this to happen, why they didn’t prevent it.” But try not to wave your saber rashly.

Think about how such “showdowns” will turn out for a child? Most likely, the stigma of an “informer” will stick to him, and it will be extremely difficult to get rid of it. And life in a team will become even more difficult. How to react correctly to resolve the problem, and not drive it into a dead end?

The first thing to do is contact the class teacher. Explain your position to him. He is a link and can resolve the conflict and help the parties agree on an acceptable resolution of the situation.

If this does not happen, the next authority is the school director. In the presence of the class teacher, he will find out why the problem could not be solved and what else can be done. The director has maximum resources concentrated in his hands to resolve any difficult situation At school.

When a child is attacked, some parents immediately file a police report. As a rule, such complaints do not produce the desired results. Representatives of the authorities can suppress the conflict, but not solve it - it will simply go deeper. The conflict will appear to have been resolved, but in reality the situation will only become more complicated.

At this time, the child especially needs adult support. Try to increase his self-esteem. Do not skimp on praise even for small achievements. Show that you believe in him. Think about what he can successfully self-realize in - sports, creativity, study? Give him this opportunity. The admiration of others will restore his faith in himself.

If you feel that your efforts are not enough, seek help from a child psychologist.

Rules of communication

Any problem is easier to prevent than to solve later. How to improve relationships in a new class and avoid rejection from the team? A few simple rules will help.

Instill in your son or daughter by personal example important qualities: sociability, friendliness and responsiveness.

Encourage socializing with classmates outside of school. Let the child stay with them after school and participate in joint activities. Find out in advance what the children in your class are interested in and come up with a reason to invite them to your home.

Participate with your child in school events, preparing for the holidays, congratulating teachers. You will get to know the children from the class personally and will be able to discuss school events with your child.

Make sure that he himself is active in building relationships and does not remain on the sidelines. Let him approach his classmates and ask him to join the game.

Children don't like "arrogant" people. Perhaps you shouldn't come to school wearing very expensive clothes that other children's families cannot afford.

If the child’s level of knowledge is noticeably higher, let him help his classmates cope with a difficult task.

You need to develop and improve throughout your life. Be interested in the people and events around you. Live brightly and richly. Be interesting to yourself. Active, well-rounded and a positive person easily settles into a new team. Be an example for your children.

about the author

– specialist of the City Psychological and Pedagogical Center of the Moscow Department of Education, member of the Association of Development Organizations humanistic psychology in education.