When a person is offended, he... A touchy person: how to communicate with him? Consequences of frequent grievances

Pineapple juice is one of the healthiest juices, especially if it is freshly squeezed. First let's talk about beneficial properties pineapple Pineapple contains: vitamins A, B, C, PP; in addition to them, it contains a lot of potassium, sodium, phosphorus and iron. Pineapple is best known as a fruit that promotes weight loss. This property is due to the content of a special complex of enzymes called bromelain. They have high activity and are characterized by the ability to break down protein and, as a result, burn fat. Bromelain is also found in papaya and can also be purchased in capsules. But it is best to consume it from natural products, especially since pineapple is low in calories (100 grams contain only 48 kilocalories).

Bromelain also comes to the rescue in cases of heaviness in the stomach, when you overdid it a little with food. It is especially effective in cases where you have eaten fish, meat or dairy products. It breaks down protein foods and helps the body absorb them. Returning to the topic of weight loss, I would like to add that pineapple dulls the feeling of hunger, increasing the amount of serotonin in the blood, and also removes excess fluid from the body.

You can have a pineapple day once a week by eating only pineapples and drinking pineapple juice. At the same time, be careful: you should not overuse pineapple, since the citric and ascorbic acids contained in it negatively affect tooth enamel, corroding it, so it is recommended to rinse the inside of your mouth with water after eating.

Among other things, pineapple serves. This is important for people whose professional activity requires memorization large quantity information (for example, economists, accountants, merchants). To maintain good functioning of the memory system, you should drink 1 glass of juice 7-8 times a month regularly.

The juice is also useful for blood clots and swelling. As mentioned earlier, due to its high potassium content, pineapple has the remarkable ability to remove excess fluid from the body. To do this, you just need to drink 200 ml of pineapple juice or eat half a pineapple daily until the condition improves.

In addition, pineapple is an excellent helper for patients with hypertension. It cleanses the walls of blood vessels from fatty deposits, thereby reducing blood pressure. It also thins the blood and prevents the development of cardiovascular diseases, myocardial infarction, stroke, and atherosclerosis.

Perhaps many people know that pineapple also helps in preventing the development of cancerous tumors; it reduces the risk of their development by 65% ​​and prevents the development of metastases. Pineapple is also useful in treating colds. Due to its high vitamin content, especially vitamin C, it can be used instead of aspirin. It also helps improve immunity and helps with vitamin deficiency and hypovitaminosis.

It should be noted that during pregnancy it is better to exclude pineapple juice from the diet. It is also contraindicated for people suffering from gastritis, stomach ulcers and increased secretion of gastric juice.

Let's talk a little about recipes based on pineapple juice. Consider, for example, a recipe that is useful for sprains, arthritis and injuries. When stretching, take 100 grams of dry mint leaves and pour warmed pineapple juice. Let it brew for 2 hours and then strain. From the resulting infusion you can make lotions on the site of the bruise.

Another unusual recipe is used in India to expel worms. But this time the juice is obtained not from the fruit, but from the leaves of the pineapple. It is very important to know that unripe fruit and leaves of pineapple contain a substance that can burn the skin and mucous membrane of the mouth, and is a strong laxative for the stomach. If, after biting off a piece of fruit, you feel a slight burning sensation, then it is better not to use it. These are the precautions, but in general, pineapple juice is healthy and necessary in many ways.

A person’s habit of constantly being offended over trifles, why and what to do? Mental resentment.

There is also such a thing as mental resentment. Mental resentment is a resentment that practically does not let go. This is our taste. For example, if you were a small child, when you were offended, then your parents paid attention to you and somehow reacted to what was happening to you, then we develop taste. As one of my friends said: “I like to get offended.” Because the state of being submissive is an opportunity to manipulate another person. This is how they manipulate illnesses and pouting lips, causing guilt in others.

I don’t know how to communicate with you openly, so I prefer to communicate with you so that you feel a chronic feeling of guilt in front of me, that you are somehow bad, that you don’t measure up. They will walk around all the time, sigh, and ask me: “What happened?” - “Nothing, don’t pay attention.” - “But something still happened?” - “No, no,” and again a heavy sigh.

When a mother says to a child: “Go, go, the mother will die - no matter. I’ll call an ambulance, the neighbors will help, whatever.” This is manipulation below the belt. “Yes, of course, I didn’t even get married when your idiot father left. I was you know what? I could arrange your life, but because of you... so what now? Yes, of course, well, my mother is old, I suppose you can’t wait.”

Manipulation is the taste of life. When we are so unhappy, resentful, slightly ill, wretched, it is clear to us that we cannot work in full force. When you communicate with people with a taste for resentment, you immediately become sour. This is our atmosphere.

Mental resentment cannot be forgiven because the person is not going to forgive. When we start working with such people, they often turn to psychologists to prove that psychologists are good for nothing, then such people play a favorite game called “yes, but...”, which never ends. Very often people chronically play this “yes, but...” game all their lives.

One man was very offended by his mother. When she died, he said: “I come to her grave - she punishes me from the grave.” The poor mother there is turning over in her grave, and he comes and argues with her at the grave. It's his taste.

I speak:

Imagine that the announcement “Shame on your mother!” was hung on all the poles, you just want to add “your mother,” or in any city where you come, there will be banners hanging up saying that you are the fairest person in the world. The most damaged person in the world. Chest with medals. You are greeted, garlands are hung. What would you like? Would that suit you?

What if they gave you a guarantee that it would fry in hell in a frying pan?

All the same, this doesn’t suit me; the punishment for my pain will not be enough.

The person is so focused on himself.

90% of our grievances are mental grievances. Sit down today and think about what should happen to your abuser? Come up with a fair punishment for him and imagine that this happened. Then turn to yourself and understand that there is no satisfaction. Nothing can satisfy mental resentment. It's like throwing wood on a fire and waiting for it to go out. This is our desire to be offended.

We have not learned to attract attention to ourselves any other way. Therefore, if today you have diagnosed yourself with this pathological way of attracting attention to yourself, you need to say: I am a very seriously ill person, I seriously suffer from grievances - this is emotional paralysis.

Therefore, you need to heal yourself, leave this person alone and say: thank you very much, you showed me my wretchedness, my inferiority, thanks to you I see how defective I am, how mental I am.

Since you and I have clearly seen that all our grievances come from childhood and, as a rule, this is our relationship with our parents, it is very important to add two more points for awareness.

1. A feeling of gratitude that someone like me was given birth, that the situation developed like this, mom and dad met and this was the best situation for my birth. We just don’t come to this or that parent. You could not have been born to other parents. Your finish at past life determined the start in this. Only with such parents and only in this situation could I show up with my character qualities, so this situation eliminates all claims against my parents. It is very important to understand that I could not have been born anywhere else.

2. Feeling of forgiveness. My parents made the best of their model of the world at that point in time. They couldn't do it any other way. They did it as best they could.

At the same time, it is necessary to understand that the same scenario can be repeated an unknown number of times. Most likely, in childhood we decided that “I will never do this like my parents.” But then we grow up, we begin to have children, and with horror we catch ourselves using the same intonation, with the same words, with the same gestures about which we once said “I will never do that.”

We suddenly realize that this is conditioning, this is our stamp, a cliché that we repeat from generation to generation. He is so powerful that it takes quite a lot of effort to get out from under his influence.

It is very important for us to understand that in life we ​​learn and go through one single lesson - how to love. All life situations we are taught to love and shown to us how to love and how we fail. If we think that we will do something by simply shuffling the cards (people, places, things), then we are mistaken. If we don’t “shuffle” our hearts in a serious way, then nothing will change for us.

Therefore, to stop this crazy scenario that is passed on from generation to generation, we must do two things that are very important for absolutely everyone: we must ask for forgiveness, and we must ask for blessings. Elder figures, parents, are representatives of God in their essence; we should treat them with gratitude, not with pretension, and we should ask for their blessings.

Marina Targakova. Psychology of resentment, part 6

This is an unconscious understatement intrinsic value, importance and uniqueness. Such people usually behave selfishly. They take the slightest disrespect too seriously, such as ridicule, criticism, or an unpleasant statement.

UNDERSTANDING THE SITUATION ON ONE SIDE\

This occurs mainly when, due to resentment, a person ceases to adequately perceive the situation. For example, in a certain situation a person felt that he was not treated the way he wanted. There is a desire to harbor a grudge, but the question arises about the truth of the state of affairs. Each side has its own truth, which sometimes you can’t argue with. If you accept this state of affairs, then in the future it will allow you to protect yourself from negative emotions.

UPBRINGING

The child reproduces the words, behavior and actions of the parents as if they were a carbon copy, and takes their reaction to a given situation for granted. For him, mom and dad, an adult in general, are the standard. We hear everywhere: “I want to be like dad, strong and cheerful.” Therefore, it's up to you to decide family issues Concerning personal relationships, it is necessary to talk privately so that the child does not have the same problems in the future.

DESIRE TO BE IN THE CENTER OF ATTENTION

This type of action is used mainly by women to get what they want from men. Probably, even more effective methods have not been invented, such as tears or resentment, which lead to the repentance of a man who subsequently fulfills any desires of a woman. On the other hand, what could be more selfish than such behavior.

In fact, the feeling of resentment is subject to control. If the environment responds to the behavior of the offended person in the way he expected, then in the future he will make a mountain out of a molehill for any reason. And if the environment responds with dissatisfaction to the behavior of a touchy person, then stimulation occurs, helping to reconsider one’s actions, to overlook something in some places, to notice something in others but treat it with humor.

RESULTS AND THEIR CONSEQUENCES

1. Family breakdown, loss of friends. Because of pride, which according to the Bible is considered one of the seven deadly sins, you can lose not only a friend, but also loved one. The most absurd insult often leads to a retaliatory insult, which cannot be resolved due to the great sense of pride of the offended person. And a marriage cannot exist for long on quarrels and scandals caused by grievances;
2. A person who harbors a grudge is inclined to plot intrigues for an indefinite period of time or interfere with the peaceful life of the offender. The environment of the offended person, such as friends, family and loved ones, comes under this negative mood or influence. They are the ones who take on everything negative energy such a person;

Feelings of resentment lead to dissatisfaction with oneself and own life in such a way that the negative emotions caused by the offense overshadow all the positive ones. As a result, such people feel only annoyance, anger, dissatisfaction.#How to get your loved one back?#

WAYS TO COMBAT RESULTS

1. It is necessary to set priorities correctly: duty, responsibility, obligations must come first, and emotions come last. You should not respond to every wrong word or unfair remark. You need to understand that all people are different, and they all react differently to this or that situation, and they feel differently;
2. It happens when you hear not the most pleasant statements or words about yourself. In such a situation, try to control your emotions and not react too strongly. It’s better to ignore this, take into account your opinion, sensation and feeling. This will help to avoid resentment once again;
3. We expect participation, friendly disposition, respectful treatment, and positive evaluation towards ourselves. And when we don’t find this in the behavior of the people around us, we develop feelings of dissatisfaction, annoyance, and indignation, which lead to resentment. Learn not to expect special treatment.

It is necessary to eradicate the habit of being offended, of course, of interpreting people’s words and actions. All life situations are solvable, and they must be perceived calmly, confidently and with dignity, so as not to fall to the bottom of a deep hole called “resentment”, where there is no place for introspection, positive emotions, personal growth and have a happy life.

We are designed in such a way that the degree of our criticality towards others is higher than the degree of criticality towards ourselves. Based on the attitudes and personal experience embedded in us from childhood, we create patterns and frameworks of behavior for those around us into which they must fit, and if we fail to fit in, we become indignant, make accusations and get offended. We do not remember that another person is a completely different, independent world, perhaps with diametrically opposed norms and personal values. But, despite this, we often try to fulfill our whims at the expense of other people, entering them into the matrix of our interests...

MECHANICS OF RESULT

The ability to be offended is not an innate characteristic, we master it this model behavior during life. From birth we receive anger and fear, which stem from the instinct of self-preservation. Resentment At its core, emotion is manipulative. We master the skill of being offended at a very tender age.

Trying to satisfy all the desires and whims of the baby, parents unwittingly lay in his mind the foundations of behavioral mechanisms that form resentment. The child masters these mechanisms very quickly, time goes by, circumstances and desires change, but the method of achieving results through resentment remains.

Few of us wonder why anyone should focus their efforts on satisfying our interests in the same way as Mom and Dad did. Not all parents understand that fulfilling all the child’s whims indiscriminately destroys the motivational desire to form goals based on objective possibilities, and be responsible for committed actions. A protruding lip, tears and other attributes of resentment remain the favorite tools of many and in mature age, and to the toolkit of those who are strong in rhetoric, accusations are added, supported by the postulates of “universal” values.

Feeling like an injured party, a victim of injustice, we cannot always realize that the bitter feeling that has taken possession of us is a technique that has been worked out over the years, aimed at “restoring our personal justice” at the expense of others.

Offense is followed by sanctions against the offender, and if he is a close person or at least somehow depends on us, the likelihood of concessions on his part is very high. If the offender is outside our zone of influence, we seek support from friends and acquaintances, thereby partially restoring the lost psycho-emotional balance. Often the feeling of resentment does not leave us for a long time, forcing us to spend months replaying in our minds and discussing situations in which we have assigned ourselves the role of the victim.

RESULTS AND DISEASES

It is unlikely that anyone would argue that negative emotions, including grievances, do not play a role last role in the occurrence of diseases. A problem like psychosomatics goes beyond general ideas about diseases. We often hear and repeat the phrase that “all illnesses come from nerves,” but we continue to produce negative emotions and cannot cope with the destructive patterns of our own thinking.

Depending on what kind of situation a person is most often in and what kind of feelings he experiences, zones appear in certain parts of the body chronic tension- the so-called muscle blocks. This, in turn, leads to functional disorders, and, as a consequence, the emergence of psychosomatic diseases.

For example, repressed grievances are most often blocked chest, which leads to “coughing” of a non-infectious nature and contributes to the gradual development of chronic bronchitis. And the organ that stores already experienced grievances is the liver. And the diagnosis of “biliary dyskinesia” was previously called “gallbladder neurosis.” Worry and anxiety cause the pancreas to ache, and diabetes is considered a “stress” disease. The organs that respond most quickly to fears include the intestines, bladder and kidneys.

Working with psychological problems, you can improve your physical condition, and sometimes even get rid of many ailments.

HOW TO WORK WITH RESULTS

Step 1: acknowledge the offense. Awareness is part of the solution to the problem. Realize means admit that you are offended.

Step 2: articulate your grievance. To formulate is to speak or write about it. This is necessary for a detailed understanding of what is happening and the transformation of internal sensations.

Step 3: Accept responsibility for the offense. After all, it is you who decide whether to cherish an unpleasant feeling or not.

Step 4: work through the resentment. It happens that the very awareness of an offense helps to resolve it. But if this does not happen, the offense can be drawn, danced, sung, shouted - expressed in any accessible way. in safe ways. The process of working through a grudge may take some time, so don’t push yourself, give yourself time. And the result will definitely come.

Many people spend years accumulating resentment against a neighbor who refused to lend money; against the boss who unfairly fired them from work... When a person is offended, he constantly remembers what exactly he was told, mentally asks the enemy questions, responds to his attacks against him - in a word, he conducts a silent dialogue with him. He replays the unpleasant situation in his head over and over again, forming an energy cord through which his vitality flows. Is it any wonder that people who are vindictive, aggressive, who accumulate grievances for a long time and do not know how to forgive, get sick more often and live shorter lives than good-natured people?

There is a simple rule in nature - like attracts like. If you accumulate grievances and get irritated over trifles, you will become like a ball of anger. Your negative energy will attract new offenders and new grievances. How to break the vicious circle? Stop sulking, forgive everyone and everything, forgive yourself. Start your day with a smile, do good to people and think only good things about them.

Learn to enjoy life and develop in yourself positive thinking. Good thoughts will attract goodness into your life and harmonize your energy. And then there will be no trace of disease left.

The word is not a sparrow...

...but sometimes we are completely unaware of what is being said. We say terrible things as a joke, not realizing that this can undermine our health. Here's a simple example from life. Marina Petrovna's husband drank heavily, emotional excitement She told him more than once: “I don’t want to see you.” As a result, within a few years I practically lost my sight. She developed cataracts, treatment was in vain.

Eliminate from your vocabulary phrases like: “I would never have heard of you!” After all, they are nothing more than an installation, a signal to our body that we do not want to hear.

How often for festive table we complain: “My sick liver can’t stand it.” We say this casually, meaning that there is a lot of food and alcohol and it will be difficult to cope with it all, but few people think about it. true meaning this phrase. Meanwhile, you state the fact that your liver is sick. And the more often you say this, the faster it will actually hurt you.

When we are very frightened, we say: “I almost had a heart attack” or “I almost had a stroke”... And these are not harmless phrases at all, but an attitude that severe fear can turn into a heart attack or stroke for you. Be more attentive to what you say, avoid phrases such as “it’s in the liver”, “there’s a stone in my heart”, “it’s in my throat”, “I’m just going crazy”, “it’s painful to see”, “you might as well go to bed” etc.

Don’t use foul language, don’t say nasty or sarcastic things to people, don’t use swear words, don’t start screaming. All this leads to various diseases throat. And the more you swear and say nasty things, the more severe the disease will be.

Illness and character

By the way, the disease, according to many doctors, directly depends on the character and lifestyle.

People who constantly reproach themselves for choosing the wrong path, the wrong profession, or not realizing themselves as a person suffer from leg diseases.

Eye problems occur in those who are always dissatisfied with themselves and the world around them, see everything in a gloomy light and are constantly worried about the future.

Citizens with low self-esteem and fearful of change to the point of trembling in their knees, as a rule, have problems with the lungs and respiratory system.

Gastritis is the lot of people who are restless, unsure of themselves, those who worry, get nervous and lose sleep over all sorts of nonsense.

Convulsions are also an ailment of fearful people who constantly live in tension and fear of the future.

People who are angry, aggressive, and quick-tempered often suffer from bronchial asthma. No wonder people say: “I found it difficult to breathe from anger.”

Citizens who are aggressive, ambitious, strive to be the first in everything and experience failures violently are prone to heart and vascular diseases. By the way, according to scientists at Columbia University, main role It is anger and irritation that play a role in the occurrence of heart disease.

Gastric ulcer and duodenum People who are emotional, irritable, and overreact even to minor troubles suffer several times more often. Experienced specialists identify ulcer sufferers by their behavior, or more precisely, by increased nervousness.

Those who do not know how to forgive insults, as well as irritable ones, evil people suffer from liver and biliary tract diseases. It’s not for nothing that the expression “bilious person” exists. In Ozhegov’s dictionary it is written: “bilious - irritable, angry.”

Hot-tempered, persistent, stubborn and excitable people suffer from hypertension. Doctors even have the term “hypertensive”. They define him as a person who is hot-tempered, stubborn, and loves to teach everyone.

People who are intolerant of other people's opinions and mistakes suffer from frequent migraines. In addition, they are characterized high level pretensions and resentment. They worry about everything and get depressed easily.

Talkative, excitable people whose mood changes every half hour suffer from diabetes.

How to become an optimist?

So how can you become an optimist in order to forget about insidious ailments once and for all? Is this possible if you are still a pessimist by nature? Certainly!

Once in unpleasant situation, imagine for a moment what the most would do and feel in this case happy man. You will immediately feel better, hope will appear, or at least a glimmer of it.

Remember more often the people who loved and love you, and lead mental dialogue with them, and not with the offenders.

IN traditional psychology It is believed that the source of our mental problems is childhood trauma. To say this is to judge too simplistically. Mental trauma experience absolutely everything. Only born optimists have a psyche structured in such a way that everything bad is automatically discarded, while pessimists remember everything and accumulate the burden of failures and unforgiven grievances. To get rid of them, psychologists have come up with an interesting technique.

Its essence is this: if you remember something bad, immediately stop the internal monologue, not allowing it to develop, switch your attention, for example, turn on the TV or music. Mark each failure with a tick. At the end of the day, count the ticks - your dark thoughts - and try to reduce their number the next day.

Clearly realize that you have the power to take control of painful thoughts: you created them yourself, which means you can get rid of them yourself. Research by psychologists has shown that the development of new thinking occurs within a month. So be patient for thirty days. And the result will not be long in coming.

Victor BOYKO

Resentment is like a tumor. A cancerous tumor is dangerous because, in addition to the tumor itself, metastases spread to other organs and tissues, affecting the entire body. And the saddest thing is that this is not just an image. Hidden resentment or bitterness actually causes the growth of benign and malignant tumors. Resentment carries within itself a hidden wish for death to the one who causes the insult. And this aggression, directed at another, then turns against the author himself and turns into a program of self-destruction...

Resentment is a program of self-destruction: cancer diseases

In essence, cancer is an old, hidden grudge, anger and malice, hatred and desire for revenge, which literally “devour” the body. This is a deep mental wound that never heals. This is a strong and far-reaching internal conflict with oneself and with the outside world. Pride and the arrogance it generates, feelings of guilt and shame, condemnation and neglect, and deep hostility towards people lead to this disease. If a person in his worldview is like a cancer cell, then he creates cancer in his body.

Resentment draws out all the emotional and mental strength, just like a cancerous tumor takes all the strength from the body, thereby destroying it.

Resentment closes the way to healing

Resentment affects all areas of life. Resentment is one of the most serious obstacles to life, since it is it that prevents us from moving forward, our heart becomes hard.

Resentment in any case leads to internal conflict, that is, to conflict with oneself. The mechanism is simple. Anyone strives for inner harmony, wants peace and love. After all, we were not created for pain, neglect and alienation.

But it is resentment that creates a negative atmosphere around us and in us. This is a common dichotomy of human desires. On the one hand, we want good for ourselves, but on the other hand, we ourselves do not let go of evil.

Three vectors of resentment

To the circumstances

“Well, what else could I do in this situation?!” - sometimes we may find ourselves completely powerless. It's like something is working against us. You want something, you make an effort, but nothing works out. This is how resentment towards circumstances arises. If you understand that God controls your circumstances, then you direct your resentment towards Him.

On people

Everything is clear here: “If it weren’t for these people, then everything would be wonderful...”

To yourself

“How could I let this happen? Why didn’t I calculate everything thoroughly?” - these thoughts probably visit everyone, and some of them several times a day. “I tried and tried, I did something, but it didn’t work out... That means I’m incapable, a loser... I’m depressed...” - this is how you can spend half your life resenting yourself.

Self-resentment is the most destructive. People get hung up on their own internal conflicts, on self-contemplation and self-pity. It's very difficult to get them out of it. Often people even artificially maintain this state.

Men may become addicted to alcoholic beverages, some overeat, some indulge in pornography, some isolate themselves from everyone and spend time only with TV.

Women can get caught up in things: they start buying clothes, cosmetics, trinkets in incredible quantities, spend money thoughtlessly, or gossip or flirt with everyone they meet.

If a person is offended by himself and has not dealt with it, then the state of resentment becomes almost the norm of life. In other words, the offended person may not even realize that he has a wound. Not to understand that it is resentment that poisons his life and relationships. You may not even notice how bitter it becomes.

We can even be offended by ourselves because we received a wound from another: “How did I overlook? Why didn't I predict and defend myself? I knew that everything would be like this!” But we get wounds when we don’t expect them: “If I knew where I would fall, I would have put a cushion.” If there are such grievances, then it is necessary forgiveness in each specific case.

There is a saying: “There are no incurable diseases, only incurable patients.” Cancer is a curable disease. Healing from cancer begins with forgiveness, with consent, begin the processes of restoring relationships, reconciliation, and changing your thinking.

Resentment is long-held anger. The most dangerous thing about it is that it penetrates the body, usually in the same place, and in due time, boiling, begins to corrode it and turns into tumors, including cancerous ones. This means that by suppressing anger, allowing it to settle in the body, we harm our health. Therefore, you need to give vent to your feelings in time.

Many of us grew up in homes where we were not allowed to express anger. This especially applies to women: they were taught that being angry openly is indecent. Anger was unacceptable, unless the head of the family had the right to it. And we learned to “swallow grievances” without showing it. But now it’s up to us whether to give up this habit or continue to cling to it. No one will do this for us.

The mollusk swallows a grain of sand, and then builds up layer after layer of nacre around it until a beautiful pearl is formed. This is how we reopen our emotional wounds again and again. I call it “endlessly replaying an old movie in my brain.” But if we want to free ourselves from old grievances, if we are filled with the desire to forget about them, then the time has come to rise above them.

One of the causes of tumors and cysts in the uterus is what I call the “he hurt me” syndrome. Genitals are parts of the body that represent male and feminine. When people experience strong emotions, usually in the area human relations, they localize them specifically in the genitals. Women can push their pain into the organs that represent femininity, and it invades them, causing a cyst or tumor.

Because resentment resides deep within us, we may have to work hard to get rid of it. I once received a letter from a woman who was battling cancer for the third time. She could not overcome the “pattern of generating grievances” in herself, which caused the emergence of new tumors. I would say she was hypocritically exaggerating the bitterness of her life. It was easier for her to let the last tumor be operated on than to work spiritually on forgiving the offenses. It would be nice if she did both. Doctors are successful in operations to remove tumors, but only we can prevent their occurrence.

Sometimes people are willing to die rather than change their behavior patterns. And they die. I have noticed that many will never change their eating habits, even if they are in danger of death.

And death overtakes them. It's scary when this happens to someone we care about, although we understand that he had a chance to choose a different path.

In fact, our choice does not matter: it is always right for us, even if we leave this planet. We will all pass away in due time, and everyone will find a way to do it at the right time for them.

I repeat again: we should not blame ourselves when we fail at something. We shouldn't feel guilty. Nobody did anything wrong. Each person does his best within the limits of his knowledge and ideas. Remember: everyone has Power within, and we all came into this world to learn certain lessons. Our Higher Self knows about our purpose in this lifetime and what we must learn in order to move forward in the evolutionary process. No not the right paths. We all make an endless journey through eternity, and we have a whole string of life incarnations.

What we have not accomplished in this life will have to be accomplished in another.

Louise Hay

Parable

"Potatoes and the Ability to Forgive"

The student asked the teacher:

You are so wise. You're always in good mood, never get angry. Help me to be like that too.

The teacher agreed and asked the student to bring potatoes and a transparent bag.

If you get angry at someone and harbor a grudge,” the teacher said, “then take these potatoes.” On one side, write your name, on the other, the name of the person with whom the conflict occurred, and put these potatoes in a bag.

Is that all? – the student asked in bewilderment.

No, answered the teacher. You should always carry this bag with you. And every time you are offended by someone, add potatoes to it. The student agreed.

Some time passed. The student's bag was replenished with several more potatoes and became quite heavy. It was very inconvenient to always carry it with you. In addition, the potatoes that he put in at the very beginning began to spoil. It became covered with a slippery nasty coating, some sprouted, some bloomed and began to emit a sharp, unpleasant odor. The student came to the teacher and said:

It is no longer possible to carry this with you. Firstly, the bag is too heavy, and secondly, the potatoes have spoiled. Suggest something different.

But the teacher replied:

The same thing happens in your soul. When you are angry or offended at someone, a heavy stone appears in your soul. You just don't notice it right away. Then there are more and more stones. Actions turn into habits, habits into character, which gives rise to fetid vices. I gave you the opportunity to observe this whole process from the outside. Every time you decide to be offended or, conversely, offend someone, think about whether you need this stone.

We ourselves create our vices. Do you really need to carry a bag of rotten potatoes inside?

Contents of the article:

Touchiness is a negative emotion (selfishness, arrogance) that has become a stable character trait. It manifests itself as resentment, as a result of which a person considers himself offended. On this basis, he may develop a feeling of envy and revenge. Inherent in to a greater extent infantile individuals who often see a catch in communication, an infringement of their rights and freedoms even in a seemingly conflict-free situation.

Description and mechanism of development of touchiness

Before we talk about resentment, let's understand what resentment is. It is inherent in absolutely all people, it has a range of shades. It manifests itself as grief, a reaction to trouble, insult, humiliation or persecution. But for some, it’s a slap in the soul, which can develop into blood feud.

Let's say the behavior loved one not at all what I would like to see. This causes a feeling of annoyance - a lot of resentment towards him. Another option: you always treated your friend well, supported him in difficult times and did not consider this a cost of communication. And now you are in trouble, and he is on the sidelines. It is bitter to be disappointed in people, to lose faith in them, but, unfortunately, sometimes this happens in our lives.

About the roots of this unpleasant feeling. If resentment gnaws at the soul constantly and gives no peace, it becomes a character trait. Far from the best, which can be characterized as touchiness. Often a touchy person is vindictive because of the seemingly simplest everyday little things. Let's say a person had a fight, his anger is hidden and does not go away, he still dreams of taking revenge on his offender.

Touchiness as a character trait can be traced back to childhood. There is a logical explanation for this. Little man(boy or girl) is defenseless, so his offense is a kind of defense mechanism. By screaming, crying, or stamping his feet, the baby often forces attention to himself and gets his way. Often a child deliberately manipulates this behavior in the confidence that it will force him to be taken into account.

And if parents indulge their child just to avoid his hysteria, over time he will grow into an “emotional” scoundrel. A selfish man who adult life will build only on confrontation with others. A little something went wrong, and he already has a grudge: towards his loved ones, friends - towards the whole white light. This is typical for both men and women. Big difference not here, although women's touchiness has some of its own characteristics.

And this is no longer a defensive childish reaction, but a pathological character trait. In contrast to ordinary resentment, which can be a response to, say, unfulfilled expectations. For example, they look at their neighbor as good friend, and he turns out to be a boor and a scoundrel. And disappointment sets in. However, time passes, the grief is forgotten. Life goes on.

In psychology there is such a thing as mental resentment. This is when a person is constantly offended by everyone. No matter what anyone tells him, he is all wrong. This is already a pathology mental development in need of psychological correction.

Important to know! Touchiness is an unpleasant character trait that grows out of childhood grievances. For some people, it may become dominant in life, which is evidence of a mental disorder.

Who is susceptible to touchiness?

Different types characters are also differently susceptible to this negative emotion. The people who are most indignant are melancholic people who have been experiencing their psychological trauma for a long time. And it can be inflicted by choleric people - explosive, often unbridled individuals in the manifestation of their feelings. Due to their tough character, resentment often develops into revenge. Phlegmatic and sanguine people are the least touchy; they are more resistant to various kinds troubles and strive not to offend anyone themselves.

Whatever the type of character, a person must be able to restrain his emotions. You shouldn’t throw them out on other people, but you shouldn’t keep them to yourself either. You must always behave calmly. This will save you from many troubles in life.

The main causes of touchiness

The causes of resentment are different, including specific situation They can also manifest themselves in different ways, although in most cases a certain pattern can be traced. Let's take a closer look at all these factors:

• Infantilism. An adult resembles a child in his behavior. He is still offended just as he was in childhood, and cannot “stop” in any way. The reason for this behavior may be weakness of will. When it is easiest to hide behind resentment your inability or unwillingness to do what is required. He hides his weakness under the guise of resentment, saying, “Nobody understands me, everyone around me is bad.”
• . Another person deliberately seems offended; for example, he frowns, is reluctant to talk, and with his whole appearance shows that he has been unfairly offended. This is actually a childish trick to achieve a favorable attitude towards oneself. It is often used by the female sex, hoping to “pout” to attract male attention.
• Vindictiveness. It develops when they cannot or do not want to forgive. Resentment obscures the eyes, grows until the “end of the world”, except for it, nothing is visible. Such anger often has a social background. All southern peoples very touchy due to their Old Testament traditions. They became touchy national trait character and manifests itself as bloody revenge.
• Unfulfilled hopes. Touchiness here can be momentary in nature, but it can also be “global,” that is, long-lasting. For example, a child was offended because dad promised to buy a smartphone, but gave him a cheap mobile phone. This simple insult, and may soon be forgotten. But if a girl married a man on whom she trusted high hopes, but it turned out that she married “a goat who only drinks”, this is already a big insult and trauma associated with inflated expectations.
• Stressful situation. When a person is in a difficult situation, let’s say depression sets in due to a quarrel with his wife (husband). Resentment and anger are not the best advisor here; this can lead to serious consequences in a relationship. Serious illness or physical handicap, injury can also cause resentment. Such people feel that they are not given due attention. Sometimes envy healthy people can become such a “touchy” factor.
• Betrayal of a loved one. Let’s say I believed him, but he didn’t help in a difficult situation. I didn’t borrow money when I asked him, although I could have easily.
• Suspiciousness. suspicious person- touchy. He always doubts everything, and therefore does not trust anyone. When he is reproached for this, he can be offended for a long time.
• Introvert. When a person is immersed in his inner world, he can carry his touchiness within himself for years, mentally playing out how he will be able to take revenge on his offender.
• Pride. Always the companion of touchiness. Arrogant man cannot even admit the thought that someone could say bad things about him. And if this happens, he gets offended.

Important to know! All people are offended, but not all take their offense to anger and hatred, which often lead to criminal offenses.

Signs of touchiness in a person

These include:

1. Change in complexion. From an insult, a melancholic person may turn pale and outwardly react weakly, but deep in the soul the insult blooms magnificently. The choleric person will blush and react violently: screaming, waving his fists, swearing, that is, he becomes aggressive. Someone is very worried, his hands are shaking, while others are as quiet as water. For some, blood pressure rises and spasms in the throat begin.
2. Intonation changes. A person can scream, swear (choleric) or swallow the insult in silence, that is, withdraw into himself (melancholic).
3. Vindictiveness. Often, touchiness turns into feelings such as anger and revenge, when resentment is hidden deep in the soul and seeks its way out in the decision to take revenge on the offender at all costs.
4. Insidiousness. Touchiness can be hidden under the guise of goodwill, but in fact a person harbors evil thoughts towards the one who offended.
5. Irritation. Spills out on others. A touchy person blames everyone for his inconsistencies, because everyone is to blame for him - relatives, friends (if he has not lost them yet) and acquaintances.
6. Closedness. Often such people retreat into their resentment and become sullen towards others.
7. Disease. Chronic illness, injury or injury can cause increased resentment. It’s hard for a person, he understands his condition, he envies healthy people, and therefore he is offended by the whole world.
8. Striving for glory. If a person is vain, he is offended by everyone who did not appreciate him.
9. Arrogance, pride. People who consider themselves superior to others are easily offended by those who do not.

Important to know! If a person is fixated on his touchiness, this is already a reason to turn to a psychologist to get rid of his addiction.

How to get rid of resentment

Touchiness does not make a person beautiful. Such people are often prone to outbursts of rage, which can lead to the sad end of themselves or those towards whom the unbridled anger is directed. You need to be able to cope with your resentment on your own and know how to control it. If this happens, we can say about such a person that he is quite mature, his level psychological preparation quite high. He solves his problems successfully.

Independent actions to combat resentment

• Learn to shift your attention. If you are offended, there is no need to blame others for everything. Just think, if this happens, it means that I myself am to blame for something. Maybe the reason lies in me. Don't get angry and try to figure everything out. Logic and intelligence will help you find the right solution. You will maintain your calm and not enter into a completely unnecessary conflict.
• Don't get into a fight. After listening to the attacks, do not get excited, but try to cool down the ardor of those who are attacking you, saying, for example, that such words are unpleasant to hear. Such a phrase, spoken calmly and kindly, will help settle a quarrel. Of course, if the person who started it feels remorse. In any case, pride, when there is no desire to listen to your opponent, but wants to send him to hell, is not the best adviser in a flared up resentment.
• Know how to speak tactfully. Without rudeness or swearing. Even if a person is wrong, you should not tell him this in a rude manner or with a feeling of, say, such joy, like, I knew that it would be completely different, but you didn’t listen. Only a sense of tact will help defeat ill will and nip a quarrel in the bud.
• Don't take even mean jokes with offense. Know how to approach everything with a certain amount of humor. The offender will understand that you will not be “caught” and will leave you behind.

Important to know! Touchiness is not the best adviser. Only the ability to carry on a conversation will help you forget about her.

Psychological methods of dealing with resentment

Gestalt therapy techniques are well suited. They focus on correcting emotions, which Gestal therapists believe underlie human behavior. If you understand the cause of negative feelings, you can get rid of them, and then your behavior will change. And this is already the key to victory over touchiness.

The technique of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is popular, although it does not have official status. Perceptions, beliefs and behavior determine our lives, if you change them, you can get rid of psychological trauma. For example, on a piece of paper you should write down the name of your offender and everything you have against him. Then burn this piece of paper. All your grievances will disappear along with the ashes. You can write him a letter on the computer without being embarrassed about your emotions. Just beat and burn smart car no need. This certainly won't make it any easier.

Another way: beat a pillow with your hands, or, if possible, a punching bag, and take out all your rage on them. This will give vent to all the resentment and anger. In Japan, some offices have installed a stuffed boss, and every clerk can beat him until exhaustion. This is how he gives vent to his aggression, because it is known that no one likes bosses. This one is pure psychological method It is not accidental, it has been established that after such a release of “steam”, labor productivity increases significantly.

Another effective way How to get rid of touchiness is to start a “Journal of Resentment.” Draw it into four columns and write down your feelings in detail in each:

• "Resentment". In what situation did she appear?
• "Expectations". What was expected, say, from a partner, and what actually happened.
• "Analysis". Why expectations turned out to be wrong, who is to blame for this, you or your partner.
• "Conclusions". Based on the analysis, determine what the right thing to do is to change the situation for the better.

Important to know! Resentment as a mental disorder is completely curable. You just have to really want it.

Medical solution to the problem of touchiness

Such people are isolated from society and placed in a psychiatric hospital, where they can stay for a long time, sometimes even for life. They are prescribed psychotropic and sedatives to bring down manic psychosis and put it in order, calm nervous system.

How to get rid of touchiness - watch the video:

Ecology of knowledge. What is resentment Resentment is a feeling of annoyance that arises as a result of the unexpected behavior of a person whom we did not recognize in time.

What is resentment

Resentment is a feeling of annoyance that arises as a result of the unexpected behavior of a person whom we did not recognize in time.

They usually say: “I did not expect such behavior from him, so I was offended.” Why didn't you expect it? Because I didn’t recognize that person in time. And if you learn to recognize people from the beginning, then there will be no offense.

Let's say I learned to recognize people from the beginning and know who will behave in a certain situation. Then such a situation arose and that person behaved exactly as I expected. Will I be offended? Let's imagine that you came out of the entrance and walked past a bench where an old woman was sitting with a dog. As you passed, the dog barked. Are you offended by the dog? Of course not! Because you expected such behavior from a dog.

Injustice of the offender

Resentment is often associated with injustice. They say: “That person acted unfairly towards me, so I was offended by him.” Maybe we need to fight injustice, not allow injustice, and then there will be no resentment at all.

But justice is a relative concept and everyone understands it differently. Different psychological types understand justice differently.

For example, a depressed person (melancholic) holds a grudge within himself and is convinced that he was treated unfairly. Although the one he was offended by does not think so. If a depressed person feels offended, he withdraws into himself and does nothing towards his offender. He only wants to restore justice and deprive the offender of the undeserved advantage that he received when he offended. But there is a desire to deprive another of advantages envy. In other words, the offended melancholic is in a state of envy.

An aggressive person (choleric) also considers an attempt to offend him or gain an advantage over him to be unfair. But unlike a melancholic person, he does not hold grudges in his heart, but immediately begins to act. To be more precise, in a choleric person envy (the desire to deprive another of an advantage) arises, but very short time, after which he immediately proceeds to the realization of envy, i.e. begins to take revenge. Revenge there is a process of taking away another advantage. He begins to restore justice (as he understands it). At the same time, he can behave aggressively. Aggression is the restoration of justice by force. Any aggressor is convinced that he is restoring justice. Any war begins with the goal of restoring justice. Regardless of whether this war is defensive or offensive.

What to do if you are offended

If there is resentment, then inaction leads to envy and depression, and action leads to revenge and aggression. What to do?

Firstly, try not to get into unexpected situations, learn to recognize people and make an adequate forecast of the future. In this case, you have no need and no one to be offended - you have provided for all the main things, but is it worth being offended by the little things?

Secondly, if you are already offended, then do not keep the offense in your heart and do not act to restore justice, but throw the offense out of your heart and change the direction of movement.

Resentment has its own positive side. Resentment is a sign that you miscalculated the situation and people and went in the wrong direction. You were offended because you did not expect such a development of events, such behavior of people. But at the same time, the situation became clearer and we realized what and who we were wrong about. Clarification of the situation is a sign for us that we need to change the direction of action. Now we already have sufficient information to avoid misconceptions.

How to throw resentment out of your heart

They often ask: how can I get rid of resentment from my heart if I see my offender every day; As soon as I see it, I immediately remember the insult, the betrayal.

In such cases, the principle of isolation must be applied. Isolation can be physical or emotional. It's better to apply emotional isolation. The degree of insulation must be appropriate to the risk of harm to you. You need to reduce your emotions towards the offender. That is, to have few positive and few negative emotions towards it, to reduce its significance.

Let's give figurative example. What emotions do you get when you see a pillar? Positive or negative? Probably none! And when you see a trash can, do you cry or rejoice? Probably neither one nor the other. In the same way, you can have no emotion towards a person whom you could not recognize initially and who behaved shamelessly. Conscience is part of the truth, represented in this person. If a person does not know the truth, then where will his conscience come from?

You need to understand that nothing else could be expected from this person. You just didn’t recognize it initially, because... out of touch with reality, being preoccupied. They projected their dreams onto him. But after it showed itself, you already recognized it. If after this the offense persists, then you must realize that you are already offended at yourself, because... You realized that you don’t know how to recognize people.

You can’t deal with resentment and delve into the past. Let's imagine this situation figuratively. The man decided to take a shortcut through the field. Suddenly he poked his foot into the dung. One man immediately washed his boot in the puddle, changed direction and moved on. Two minutes later he forgot about it. Another person in this situation studies shoes for a year. Is it necessary? And on the one hand, and on the other, green here, brown here... And then he lives on this.

It is necessary to isolate yourself from a traumatic situation by increasing resilience mental processes and reducing impulsivity. Steady man is not offended, because does not get into situations where you can be offended. He knows how to recognize people and knows who will behave in a given situation. He is able to make an adequate forecast of the future and develop a realistic strategic plan.

It should be noted that some people unconsciously strive for life's upheavals. They will be bored if everything happens according to a pre-planned plan. They strive for surprises and adventures. They need extreme sports and adrenaline. And, they have the right to do so. It's a person's choice. The above recommendations are not suitable for such people.

Forgiveness

They often say: we must forgive the offender, we must forgive our sins.

Forgiveness of sins is not our business. If a person has offended you and at the same time violated the principles of life, then he will encounter the laws of life, the laws of nature. And, he will be punished by life, nature, God. It doesn’t matter whether you forgive him or not. Even if you have forgiven, he will still face the laws of life and suffer.

We are not able to forgive and thereby cancel the punishment. We can only help a person put himself in order if he asks us to do so and if we have the appropriate skill and desire.

The risk of being offended increases when we are preoccupied with something and are frantically looking for someone or something in particular. In this case, we project our idea onto a certain person and wishful thinking. We partially move into the world of illusions, and then we encounter reality and get offended.

Don't go into a frenzy. Moderation is needed. He who knows when to stop is saved in this world.

Touchiness of various psychological types

Stable psychological types are less susceptible to offense. More impulsive. Right-brain people are more offended than left-brain people.

Below is a table of the probabilities of touchiness of various psychological types (in percentages).

Thus, intuitive impulsive psychotypes (melancholic people) are more offended than others. They are offended by logical impulsive psychotypes (cholerics). Cholerics themselves are also touchy, but they quickly turn to revenge. Resilient people take little offense and do little to offend others.

EXPLANATION OF TERMS USED

Resentment- there is a feeling of annoyance that arises as a result of unexpected behavior

A man whom we did not recognize in time.

Envy- there is a desire to deprive another of an advantage.

Revenge- there is a process of depriving another advantage.

Aggression- there is the restoration of justice by force.

True- there is information about the natural structure of the surrounding world.

Conscience- there is a part of the truth represented in a given person.

You offended me, you didn’t see my tears
I laughed after you, my dear
You'll cry some more, you'll pay for everything
For someone else's farewell glance, for my peace.

(words from Natalia Senchukova’s song)

IN. :“Tell me, maybe your answer will help not only me. I greatly offended a loved one, I understand that she will not accept any apologies or explanations, and will never even talk again, What can be done spiritually, energy level , I myself do not hold any grudge or anger towards her, I completely accepted the situation, and I have suffered and will probably still bear retribution, But I don’t want her to have anger or resentment in her soul, I don’t want her resentment against me to make her feel bad, I want her to do well in life, so that she doesn’t have this burden. What can I do myself so that she doesn’t have this burden on her heart.”

The answer will be this: we cannot do anything for or for others, so as not to violate the free will of another person. In the word “offended or offended” there is a particle “sya”, that is, a person offends himself, because it is his choice to be offended, to offend himself. In any situation, we have a choice - how we will react to it, how much we can accept and forgive it. Everything depends on our emotional reactions, which, as a rule, work unconsciously, according to familiar patterns and programs.

And of course the offender is tormented feeling of guilt and fear of falling under “retribution”.

I would like to tell Vladimir and everyone who finds themselves in such a situation that these are the life lessons of every person and it is not without reason that that girl (that is, it is no coincidence!) that such a situation in the sphere of relationships arose in her life. This is her lesson. There are laws of life and fate, and you can’t escape them.

Another facet is that we attract into our lives those people with whom we have certain tasks and similar patterns, vibrations, similar topics for a solution. I have an audio about this “”, which talks about why we attract certain people into our lives and that most often the attraction goes through pain points, injury upon injury.

So you both ended up in difficult situation, created by you earlier. Perhaps you have already been connected in the past and have not learned the lesson of forgiveness and guilt and other feelings, or your souls have not been connected before, but you have similar lessons, so this situation educational for both souls.

The second material on the site is a, which explains the mechanism of interaction of souls in painful relationships. A soul “forced” to cause pain to another for the sake of healing and out of love for him.

In this situation, I propose to look at it all from the following point of view - you must take responsibility for everything that has happened in your life and consider everything that happens as a creation of your mind. We are responsible for what happens in our lives.

Therefore, to answer the question “what can I do myself so that there is no burden on her heart,” I suggest the following - take the burden off yourself through the following actions and methods:

1. Change your perspective on the situation and stop feeling guilty . Feelings of guilt too best feeling and if you continue to experience it (as well as the feeling of shame), you will only make things worse for yourself and thereby create negative karma for yourself in the future. You will find yourself in a similar situation to work on yourself until you learn Forgive yourself and accept everything as it comes. Put right hand on the left side of the neck - the place where the neck meets the shoulder and repeat “I am not to blame for anything, I am not to blame.” Then place your hand on your forehead and say, “I forgive myself, I forgive this woman, and I forgive everyone.” Next, put your hand on the back of your head and say “I apologize for everything, voluntary or involuntary violation of the laws of the universe.”
2. Write Letter of forgiveness me and that woman(surely, there is hidden aggression towards her because she was offended and turned away from you). Fill out for yourself, her and the situation - all this is described in the article about the method and there are also links to download the questionnaires. It is recommended to start with yourself and you can also write questionnaires about the situation.
3. Experiencing each other strong emotions(and it doesn’t matter whether they are of a positive nature, such as strong love or affection, or negative, such as resentment, guilt, etc.) you create a strong energy connection, karmic connection, energy knots and ropes that drain your energy. Therefore, I recommend spending here ritual of cutting etheric threads (it’s on YouTube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAnCopEg3gM). This is very effective technique disconnect energetically and don’t be afraid, it doesn’t break connections at all, this technique is good even for close people.
4. A method of talking to the soul of another person A. If you can't physically ask for forgiveness and say whatever you want, you can do it mentally. To do this, you need to create an appropriate environment - a candle, an altar, meditation - and mentally imagine / invite the soul of another person to a conversation and tell it everything you want, all your feelings, thoughts, be sure to ask for forgiveness, explain why you did this. Then, again, mentally you can imagine how each of you gives each other someone else’s energy and that’s it. energy bindings are cut - as in the ritual of cutting threads - you can imagine that you have a sword or scissors in your hands and you are simply cutting them like ropes. Then you send that person a stream of love from your heart and thank you for everything.
5. Gratitude this is generally separate chapter, so I’m making it a separate point. Gratitude, love and forgiveness are the three pillars on which the world rests. Therefore, every day until your tense state of being guilty and offended passes, you can think about her and thank her.
6. Ask God for forgiveness! Not hers.
7. Give her a link to this article :)

There are many psychological techniques for working with emotional states– the essence of which is liberation from difficult emotions. And of course, you personally can only work with with their fortunes, as noted at the very beginning of the article. But good news The point is that by working through your “cockroaches” and clearing your state of low-vibration emotions, you will help another person. You can cut yours karmic knot, having gone through this situation correctly, that is, transforming all these energies of not very good quality into light and love, complete forgiveness and gratitude, that is, increasing their vibrations. And then both souls will rejoice from the completed task. And her job is personal work her soul and her personal elections. But when you do all this work and feel improvement, it may happen that she herself will talk to you.

I had one like this personal experience– one day I conducted a powerful meditation in which I had to mentally talk to a person and let him go (essentially what I described above) – the next day this person got in touch, before that we had not communicated for a long time.

Of course, I cannot give all the methods within the framework of this article, but if you are interested, you can search for them on the Internet - it’s all there, whole books or brief descriptions methods.

For example, there is Sedona method , which is briefly described as follows:

The essence of the method is asking the right questions. You need to ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly. This may take you about 30 minutes.

There are only four questions:

1. How am I feeling right now?

Focus on the problem that worries you and causes it negative feeling. Look deeply, enter into this problem and try to understand as accurately as possible what you feel and what thoughts are spinning in your head. Consider them like a scientist: separate one feeling from another, give each a name. This can be done out loud, or silently. After that, we take one feeling to work with.

1. Can I accept this feeling?

You must decide for yourself whether you can and want to live with this feeling, whether you think that it has a right to exist. The answer may be different: “Yes” or “No” - it doesn’t matter, both answers are acceptable. Even if you say “No,” you can still let go of your feelings.

1. Can I let go of this feeling?

It is very important to feel whether you can let go of this emotion, like a hand from a fist when you unclench it. The answer can be “Yes” or “No”, answer honestly what comes to your mind.

1. Do I want to let go of this feeling?

The answer “I can” does not at all reflect that you want to do it. What will be best for you: keep this feeling or expel it from yourself. Do you want to get rid of it forever and be free?

If you answered “No” or find it difficult to answer, then ask a direct question: “What is better for me: to leave this feeling with myself or to free myself from it?”

If you answer “Yes, I want,” then immediately ask yourself next question"When?". Someone says “Now”, someone postpones the process until later. The answer can be anything, but it’s better to answer “Now” and do it.

You continue to ask these four questions in a circle until you can answer the first question: “Calmness, peace.” At this point your work is considered completed. For some people, one round of answers is enough. Others need to go through these issues several times, while for others, ten times is not enough.

The results of your practice may not be noticeable at first, but if you continue your work, you will feel that you are moving further each time. Because what you let go leaves you. Old grievances rise up more and more easily. The time will come when you will feel that your life has become easier and calmer. (description taken from siellon.com)

Eat Tapping Method or Emotional Release Technique , when certain points are tapped when talking about one’s problem (for example, to tapped feelings of guilt).

AND Ho'oponopono method , it's very simple. Described by Joe Vitale in his books. The name literally translates as “to correct a mistake”, “to do everything right”. You say just four phrases: “I love you. I'm very sorry (or I'm sorry). I thank you. I'm sorry."

Here is its description from the first site that came to Google’s attention: vahe-zdorovye.ru:

All history in the world is governed by two laws: Inspiration from God and Memory.

Difficulties originate in thoughts under the influence of memories negative character, they become a factor in the occurrence of illnesses and disharmony. No mind can solve this problem on its own. Imprints of memories, programs, remain in the subconscious forever and are transmitted at the genetic level from one generation to another. They give instructions on how to act in a given situation.

Erasing negative information occurs through Forgiveness, as well as Love for the Creator, and We approach ultimate goal: reaching zero, i.e. freeing the mind from blocks. In this state, there are no restrictions and limits and everything develops the way We want, because We receive “hints” from the Universe.

How to Practice Ho'oponopono

Many people don’t know how to practice Ho’oponopono; the secret is to constantly say 4 phrases, which make up the formula for happiness:

"I love you"

"I'm really sorry"

"I'm sorry"

"I thank you"

In these magic words lies a recipe for clearing your memory, and it doesn’t matter whether you are aware of them or not, the main thing is repetition. The formula helps a person send signals of repentance, love and forgiveness, and the Creator helps by cleansing the subconscious, along with the consciousness.

"I love you" this expression is ideal for approaching the state of “zero” through connection with the holy principle;

"I'm really sorry" this is a message of regret to the highest intelligence about the negative programs that have arisen;

"I'm sorry" a spell to help you forgive yourself;

"I thank you" phrase that expresses gratitude for support in finding best solution difficulties encountered.

Expressions should be applied not to the environment, but to yourself; this is the only way to love and develop yourself and, as a result, the world around you.

It’s better to start with one phrase that is relevant to you, repeat it for 10 minutes, you can do it in front of the mirror, turning to yourself. Then, try out loud without a mirror, after finishing, start pronouncing the second expression, etc.

Ho'oponopono technique

To cleanse relationships, a special Ho'oponopono technique is used, the meaning of which lies in imaginary actions with others. Of course, this method will have positive effect in real life, but initially, this is one of the ways to work on yourself.

The point of healing is to imagine the individual with whom the negative relationships, on stage and, at the same time, see how the source of Love flows above your head, then let this light through the top of your head into your body and imagine how it fills every cell of yours. And then release the source through the heart towards the stage. You should first make sure that the person is ready for treatment; mentally ask him about his readiness. Create a dialogue, ask for mutual forgiveness, and at the end, release him into the distance.

Do it through the page